Monday, August 3, 2015

New Poll Eviscerates Obama's Third Term Boast: You Don't Represent Independents, Mr. President. Matter of Fact, You Don't Represent Much of Anyone...

Following Obama's recent brag in Africa that he could win a third term if only the damn pesky constitution would allow him to run, new polling data (link below) shows that a resounding 63% of likely American voters say they would outright reject a third term for His Majesty. Ouch.

Beneath that figure are 68% of Independents who say, "no thanks, jackass," to the third term notion.  Hell, even 43% of people who call themselves members of the democrat party can't say they would vote for Obama for a third term. Beatdown.

But none of these numbers is surprising. Obama's favorability ratings have remained consistently in the 40s during his second term. Moreover, Obama has never represented even the democrat party as a whole, rather catering to and representing only the leftist 20 percenter base of said rotten party (people who call themselves by the L-word and P-word, for those of you joining us from Webb City, Missourah). You reap what you sow, leftist.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Bombshell: Links gop-er party to Cecil the Lion's Murder, Reporting that the Murdering Dentist Contributed to the 2012 Presidential Campaign of gop-er Mitt Romney!

I don't exactly find it shocking that the gop-er party is responsible for the death of a beloved, venerable old lion (what bad thing occurs inside or outside the U.S. that gop-ers are not responsible for?). However, I do think that the and other media outlets are not following through on this angle nearly far enough and, in the process, are largely giving the gop-ers a free pass on Cecil.  To wit:

- Mitt Romney, in and of himself, is only gonna provide so much traction for the cause, since he's not running for president this time around.  We need some further linkage, some additional guilt by vague association, using Romney as our very convenient connector...

- For example, gop-er frontrunner Donald Trump has previously had sit-down meetings with Romney. That's very clear linkage to the Murdering Dentist, Walter James Palmer (Palmer to Romney to Trump, like an old classic MLB double play combination or something).  Why is no one yet calling Trump a lion killer?

- gop-er fat man Chris Christie is basically from the same state as Romney (do most stupid Americans even differentiate between New Jersey and Massachusetts?).  So why is that fat fuck not getting any blame for Cecil?

- gop-er's token black man candidate, Ben Carson, once sneezed on a Fox News program, in the process making a sound that I could've sworn sounded like he was saying, "Romney." How come that Uncle Tom ain't being taken behind the woodshed over Cecil?

- "Jeb" Bush has frequently been compared to Romney by the gop-ers' right-winger base, which views the Jebber as being little different from the mealy-mouthed, stand-for-nothing, establishment fat-cat Romney. So yet again, we have a gop-er candidate directly connected to Cecil's killing.

- Additional gop-er candidate Scott Walker has been excoriated for his war on unions in his native Wisconsin, while Romney once entered into a marital union with an elitist, white, horse-riding equestrian bitch named Ann.  That's right: Scott Walker, lion killer.

Need I go any farther? We have this wonderful Kevin Bacon-like Romney connector to a high-profile killing, but a media lacking the imagination to take this story as far as it needs to go for the cause. They sure as shit ain't populatin' them journalism schools like they used to!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

"Freeburg [Illinois] Midgets to Keep Controversial Name" for High School Mascot. And That's Not All from the P-C Police Blotter...

In related news, the Springfield Stewardesses have similarly announced no name change for them either. But they have conceded to opponents that they will no longer speak Jive during medical emergencies.

Elsewhere, the Toledo Terrorists say they'll consider a name change, but only if the media produces credible evidence of their motive.

Meantime the King County Kraut-Micks have also attached conditions to any future name change, stating (and I quote):  "We ain't doin' shit while you still gots the Notre Dame Fightin' Irish."  Has anyone ever considered cutting off the booze to these bastards?

Lastly, the Bingham Big Tits have agreed to an accommodation with their critics. The boobs will undergo reduction before Week 1, and the team will replace their traditional V-neck uniforms with big frumpy pantsuits inspired by the Hilary campaign.

And until next time, that's all the P-C news that's correct for me to print.

Friday, July 24, 2015

"The Glamour Model Whose T-Shirt Was Too Rude for the pope": Bosomy Argentine Broad Gets Excommunicated From Audience with Francis!

The popey's security guards reportedly whisked away 29-year-old Victoria Xipolitakis because she committed the cardinal sin of getting in line to see Franny whilst wearing a T-shirt with no bra (pic above and link below).  Gee, can't have that, now can we?

I'll say it again: What a PRUDE, this pope! And that's not even the half of it: When he's not trying to impose his right-wing social standards on how we dress and how we act on the Net, this Old Grouch is beatin' us about the head, breast, and ass with a bunch of his boring leftist platitudes on capitalism and climate. I'm asleep over here!

I've got a little suggestion for this surly old curmudgeon: Hows about spending a little more time talking about, ya know, religious shit, and swallowing a big S-T-F-U communion wafer when it comes to just about anything else??  Don't be a poopy pontiff, you crusty old bastard, ya.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

"Don Voyage"? Hardly. Here's Why Trump Isn't Going Anywhere Despite His "You Ain't No War Hero" Blast at Tired Old Man McCain...

The pronouncements were many this past weekend declaring an end, a death, to the presidential candidacy of Donald Trump after his verbal back-and-forth with the Tired Old Man actually got to the point of questioning T-O-M's "war hero" credentials.  But so far, Trump hasn't lost an ounce of traction, and I don't think he will, leastways not as a result of this latest rant. Here's why:

Guess where Trump's pulling all of his support in the gop-er primary race?  It sure as hell ain't from the stuffy old "establishment" types. Rather it's from the devout right-wingers -- a big swath of the so-called tea partiers of years past.

And guess who is one of the least favorite people on the planet to said right-wingers?  That would be one Tired Old Man himself, John McCain, whom the right-wingers see as a classic not-down-for-the-cause establishment "Rino."  Trump could accuse McCain of single handedly losing the Vietnam War, and a ton of the right-wingers would not care, but instead would applaud to the rafters. Trump, as a result, still remains as a high-polling part (and front-running fart) of the gop-er mix.

Another factor not to dismiss lightly is that the normal rules of political campaigns and candidates don't much apply to Trump.  Unlike any other character in the 2016 presidential race on either side (sorry, Hilary the Hoary), Trump is a pop culture fixture, a household name nationwide, and people listen to any level of psychotic babble that comes out his mouth, just like they do so many Kim Kardashians and Bruce Jenners. (It must drive the left-slanted "mainstream" media crazy that they can't just bury Trump in a quick pile of shit like they do most garden-variety deranged right-winger candidates who speak out of the P-C-turn (where's Sarah Palin when the mainstream media really needs her?!?)).

Meantime, in the midst of all this complete madness, I get the pleasure of continuing to be highly entertained by the circus that is Trump (not to mention all the political and media fools who follow his every antic like neutered sheep). As I recall noting more than once in this space in 2011-12, I don't think I could ever vote for this crazy man (even if he turns Independent), but he gives me a good laugh at least once every day, for better or for worse. Apart from myself, there's no other person on the planet to whom I could give such a high compliment.

Friday, July 17, 2015

We Gots a Howler: "Loud Sex Noises Land Woman in Jail"! But Why Ain't Her Old Man in the Can for Not Muzzling Her?!?

It appears that they take the whole "disturbing the peace" notion very seriously in Britain, where the pictured Gemma Wale (yes, that's her real last name) has been sentenced to two weeks in the hoosegow for "screaming and shouting whilst having sex" at a "level of noise" which "annoyed" a neighbor.

Leaving aside the issue of how much of a grouchy, lifeless curmudgeon you'd have to be to bother cops over a blustering broad who likes to moan and groan to the tune of the ol' power drill, why doesn't the boyfriend also have some criminal culpability here?

If you have a canine that yaps all night, it's incumbent upon you to muzzle the mutt or cage it indoors. It's called being a responsible pet owner. But here, by all accounts, Wailing Gemma was runnin' loose around the joint without so much as even one of those little red balls in her snout.

Now while I guess I can understand this shrieking shag-master being locked in the pound a while to cool off, her male owner should get a little lockup time too. Equal justice, equal treatment. That's the only non-chauvinistic outcome here.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

democrat party Has Moved "Far to the Left," "That's Not My democrat[] party," Laments Its Newest Presidential Candidate, Jim Webb, As He Exhibits a Firm Grasp of the Obvious...

I have no sympathy for Webb. He complains how his democrat party has moved way to the left, but yet he's still a member of said leftist party. If he turned Independent (legitimately Independent, not fake Independent like Bernie Sanders and Kansas' Greg Orman), he might garner a positive word or two from me...

But let's get to his statements above. He states obvious truths, but truths nonetheless. The modern extreme incarnation of the democrat party bears no resemblance whatsoever to the "Democratic Party" that I grew up with in the 70s, 80s, or even 90s. John F. Kennedy would be primaried in today's democrat party.

It's the party of leftist goofs, goons, loons, louts, and nuts.  It has no place for either centrists or people of good will.  Its leftist base consists of only 20-25% of the American people (hence my phrase, leftist 20 percenters).  Yet the party wields such incredible power. It equally frightens and disgusts me at the same time.

It's for these reasons that I'm confident that I will never vote for another member of the democrat party ever again in my lifetime. Not that I'll be voting for too many gop-ers -- the party split between (1) do-nothing establishment fat cats and (2) right-wing freaks.

On a positive note, however, I shall now await with bated breath the next stop-the-press pronouncements we receive from this Webb character. Maybe after he informs us that the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, he can enlighten us on how Hilary and Bernie Sanders are, like, really really really old. Or that Donald Trump's crazy and Chris Christie fat. Hell, at least he'll be spouting a lot more truth than any of these other candidates.

Friday, July 10, 2015

My, Aren't We Presumptuous! Entitled Hilary Reportedly to Give Certain Bedroom at the White House to Her "Gatekeeper," Huma's Weiner...

My God do these people think they are inevitable!  Link below to a story about the Hilary minions already talking about which Hilary flunkies will inhabit the White House with the Hoary One -- even apparently down to the details of which bedrooms said lapdogs will be "installed" in...

The above-pictured Huma's Weiner, for example, will reportedly be getting a quaint second-story bedroom once occupied by a "journalist" lackey to Eleanor Roosevelt.  Ooh, the Goose Pimples running up and down my right tit at the thought!

But that aside, I'm assuming this means that notorious democrat party dick Anthony's Weiner also now has an inside opening to penetrate the White House, since Huma's Weiner is his old lady.  Anthony's Weiner (who should now be the Mayor of the Big Apple if not for his incessant Twitter dong scandals) could certainly use such an arousal of his/its diminished visibility.

Which may lead me to open up a prediction pool for how long Anthony's Weiner can last before he has to pull out of the White House following another late-night social media dong blast to the ladies. I'm gonna give that little prick about one weekend, myself.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

A Real P-C Pickle: New Ozone Smoke Emission Regulations from Obama's EPA Threaten My Ability to Burn Bad Stuff...

Under the new proposed regulations, harmful backyard activities such as firing up the ol' grill, blowing fireworks, and burning household rubbish may reportedly run afoul of the law and force municipalities to enact bans on these sorts of sordid outdoor shenanigans (link below).

But here's the problem:  How in the hell am I supposed to hold a good confederate or American flag burning out back if I'm just gonna get my ass fined in the process?

What if I want to set a match to those old Dukes of Hazzard DVDs to demonstrate that I'm all on-board with the program?  Can't even do that.

And forget about catering a gay wedding on my property. I won't be able to heat up so much as a single bratwurst for the reception to follow. What, am I supposed to haul in a bunch of Burger King from down the street?

Sigh. These 20 percenters really do need to communicate a little better amongst themselves before they ordain these various edicts upon us. Much of the time, it seems like the left fist doesn't have a freakin' clue what the left cheek is doing. How's a good little follower to comply?

Friday, July 3, 2015

Kate Update: Great Rack!

Who says 40-something, high maintenance, mostly forgotten old has-been broads can't still bring a thing (or two, as the case may be) to the table??  Very nice.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

New Study: Right-Wingers Better at Dieting, Exerting Self-Control, than Leftists...

No word yet, however, how the study may have been impacted by its apparent exemption from consideration of the 2016 gop-er presidential field.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

"You're in MY House," Rants Obama to White House Protester, Underscoring at the Same Time a Key Difference Between Him and W Bush...

If W Bush was to utter such an asinine statement, it would be because he's too imbecilic to know any better (i.e., he'd actually believe that he had an ownership interest in the White House during his years in office).

Obama, in contrast, makes that statement simply because he's an arrogant, unpresidential jackass. It's not your house, Obama, you leftist lout, as you know full well. It belongs to the United States and, therefore, the American people -- ya know, that large, diverse group of souls of whom you represent about 20%?

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Big Bowl a Kamikaze: "Japan Airlines Pilot Suspended for Cockpit Selfie with Stewardess" While in Flight...

She was a "stewardess"?  In his "cockpit"?  Assisting in a career suicide move by an airplane pilot who just happened to be Japanese?

The only things missing from this un-PC pile of journalistic purgatory are some midgets, a missing manhole cover, and a few hims whom you best refer to as hers if you know what's good
fo-yo ass.

And for the record, I don't think June Cleaver was channeling either Bruce Jenner or Rachel Dolezal that time on the Airplane when she interjected that, "Oh Stewardess, I speak Jive."

Rather, I always attributed that to pillow talk that June had picked up over many years of Ward being a little hard on the Beaver.

Friday, June 19, 2015

Storm Rube: This Subhuman Slimeball Gives Dylans Everywhere a Rotten Name...

But I don't want them to whack this creep out with the death penalty. Not on your freakin' life. WAY too easy...

Rather, stick this slug in the state hoosegow with several life sentences and no possibility of parole, and make sure he lands in Gen Pop.

There, he can learn a whole new meaning for the phrase, "they rape our women."

And for Sagan's Sake, South Carolina Cons, please give this punk a new first name upon his arrival. I'm kinda partial to LouAnne, myself.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

THANK GOD We Don't Have Many Politicians Like the pope, Who Preaches in Recent Days of Computers Being "Bad for the Soul" and Full of Internet "Filth"...

...Couple those old Grumpy Gus sentiments with the pope's frequent proclamations in favor of leftist economic policy (see Monday's leaked "climate rant" from the pope) (HEAVENS to Betsie!), and here's the creature that this guy appears to be:

A social right-winger and an economic leftist.  MY GOD, the worst of all possible worlds!

At least the modern extreme incarnations of the American democrat party and gop-er party still occasionally spout a thing or two that I can GOD DAMN agree with from time to time.

The pope on the other hand? Well, he's gots that big fancy joint at the Vatican. Here's hoping he resolves to stay there most or all of the time going forward. GOOD GOD.

[Postscript: I don't mean to be all negatory over here about ol' popey, who looks like the product of a harmless pre-gay marriage civil union between Stan Laurel and Alan King. Compare that with the "evil incarnate" look his predecessor (Mr. Benedict) had going on -- equal parts Emperor Palpatine and George Soros. Now that was one scary pope-dude, for CHRIST SAKES!]

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Doublespeak for the Dimwitted: Obama Brags About Ending Iraq War, Then Sends EVEN MORE Troops There!

The lyin' leftist really does have absolutely no shame. After recently boasting again that he's responsible for ending the war in Iraq, Obama announced Thursday that he's sending 450 more boots on the ground (errr, "advisors") to the desert nation...

This latest increase brings things to a total of 3,550 American troops on the ground in Iraq sent there by Obama. And the immoral dirtballs of the leftist 20 percenter democrat party and deranged right-winger gop-er party barely bat an eye.

The leftists couldn't give a shit because Hypocrisy is their M.O.: Raise hell in the streets about foreign military involvement, but only if the current president has an "R" next to his name. If it's instead a "D", then circle the wagons and either remain silent or defend the dolt democrat no matter what he/she orders.  Such Guts and Conviction!  Douchebags.

The right-winger slugs ain't gonna say much either, because most of them embrace (or are at least highly sympathetic to) the view that it's America's job to kill bad guys, topple evil regimes, and otherwise police the world -- no matter how many young American men and women have to die for very little reason in the process...

That's classic W Bush/Cheney neo-con thought, which even Obama over the years has been shown to accept to a degree, and it's horseshit. The U.S. government has no business ever getting our military involved in foreign wars or incursions unless it's absolutely necessary -- which is almost never the case.

The last time a democrat party president gradually built up an army of military "advisors" in a foreign land, we got the disastrous Vietnam War campaign of the 60s and 70s -- a terrible era that left lasting scars upon the soul of the nation that never seem to heal almost 50 years later.

Today, the demonic "islamic state" poses plenty of threats to us at our borders and within our country, but poses no threat to us in Iraq and Syria. Obama should get our 3,550 troops the hell out of there. Yesterday.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Poll: "8 in 10 Back Voter ID Laws" -- Leaving a Loony Little Fringe of 2 in 10 (Including Hilary & His Majesty) Who Would Let Just About Anyone Show Up and Vote...

But hey, several years back I didn't coin the phrase "leftist 20 percenters" for the base of the democrat party for nuttin' over here!

Friday, June 5, 2015

The Idiot Outpolls the Jackass: CNN Poll This Week Shows That For First Time Ever, W Bush Polls More Popular than His Majesty...

In what's being called "the first time in more than a decade that Americans have expressed a favorable view of Bush," the CNN poll reported that 52% of Americans view Bush favorably, while only 49% view favorably the individual we currently have for a president ("the individual").

But I call it something different entirely:  As in, keep this 52% and this 49% the fuck away from me and mine.  Because they live in the blissful ignorance of a Joe Pantoliano Matrix dream, and that's no place that I ever wanna be.

It's simple stuff: Idiot Bush and the individual are the two worst and most destructive presidents of my lifetime, and I've lived through freakin' Jimmy Carter.  And they're two of the very worst presidents in American history.

If you're one of the fools that views either of these two louts favorably, then shame on you. And open your freakin' eyes for once in your life. The view might not be so great, but at least for the first time ever you'll be something other than just what the leftists and right-wingers want you to be.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Drop Your Cocks & Grab Your Socks: Hilary's Scheduled to Visit Missouri In Person in June! WOOT, WOOT!!!

No word yet whether Hilary will be uttering any words or other sundry audible noises during the visit (other than to herself).

But what difference, at this point, does it make?

Point is, Hilary will be gracing us with her petrified presence from the past.

So give praise.

And all glory and honor.

She's entitled.


So make way.  (To the back of the line, that is).

She's Hilary the Hoary, not sugar honey ice tea, damn you.

Friday, May 29, 2015

She Ain't Heavy, She's a Hottie: Ballerina Broad Fired from Ballet for Being "Too Fat" Can Feel Free to Turn Pirouettes on Me All. Night. Long!

What do ya have to be, some kind a midget or something, like one of them little horse jockeys, to dance in the god damn ballet? Jesus.

But her misfortune hasn't stopped this Anastasia Volochkova. She appears to have quite the online following, and in the past week took to the Net to show everyone her hot babe bona fides in front of the Indian Ocean. And just take a look at that shit above. Good Grief!

BTW, is one technically "buck naked" if mostly covered with sand? Or does that merely make you "partially nude"? And what if your ass is bare, but partially obscured by virtue of water submergence? Leave me the fuck alone a few minutes so that I may consult my pay-per-view porn channel in my never-ending quest for answers.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Non-Exceptional: Obama's UN Ambassador, Samantha Power, Says Afghanistan Is Better for Women than the USA! But Methinks this Broad Gots a Point...

...I mean, look no farther than the highest levels of American power to prove this skirt's premise...

For years now we've heard how Obama's White House has refused to adopt the same "equal pay" principles that Obama has often spouted, consistently paying female staffers less than their male counterparts.

Then recently we heard that Hilary Clinton embraced the same sexist tendencies on her 2008 presidential campaign, compensating the boys better than the girls.

Since the issue remains relevant, it looks we're going to need someone to gin up the ol' War on Women again in the 2016 presidential candidate debates. Where the fuck's George Stephanopoulos when we really need him?

Friday, May 22, 2015

Damn My Double Vision! "Make-Up Free Zoe Saldana Wears Skintight Leggings as She Works Up a Sweat at the Gym in Hollywood" -- Or So Someone Seems to be Observing, Leastways...

Frankly, who the fuck's lookin' at the make up, face, or leggings?!?

This broad's gotta perky little near-perfectamundo rack for which I'd gladly trade 1000 Alabama shithouses, even given the goin' rate on scrap iron and lumber.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Thank You, King Joffrey: Obama Ordains From On High in Recent Days that "We're Going to Have to Change How the Media Reports." And Frankly, I Couldn't Agree More...

To wit: All the fawning. The hero worship. The ass-kissing. The zealous advocacy. The free ride. The choreographed questions. The blissful ignoring. The cute, cuddly curtsies...

For seven long years, Obama's enjoyed all the benefits and advantages of a national media much more concerned with taking Obama's side and protecting him than actually, you know, letting some journalism break out or something.

So like the proverbial broken watch is nearly always correct twice a day, Obama has me agreeing with him over here: We're going to have to change how this damn media reports (just like we need to change people's religious beliefs, as Hilary astutely observed recently). After all, this whole freedom of press, speech, and religion thing is getting WAY overrated nowadays, don't 'cha agree?