Monday, April 11, 2016

Time's Come to Call Out the gop-er Talking Heads (Like Krauthammer) on Their 2015 Declaration That This Was "The Best [gop-er] Presidential Field in a Generation!" Hardly...

All in all, the 2016 gop-er class has turned out to be little more than an analogous group of rummies to the 2012 assortment.  To wit:

- Marco Rubio:  The perspiration-challenged, repetitive Cuban Waterboy was definitely not ready for prime time.  Painful performance.

- Ted Cruz:  As succinctly put by only me on the day Cruz declared: Unelectable.

- Trump:  Cartoonish and crazy to the last. Ric Flair pulled off this act with a lot more humor, grace, and humanity than "The Donald" has ever exhibited. Maybe instead you can run The Nature Boy for Pres in 2020, uh gop'ers?

- Chris Christie:  The best debater the gop-ers have.  Unfortunately for them, he had little else upon which he resonates at a national level.

- Ben Carson:  The consummate gentleman that most of us wish we could know personally, but clearly lacking the willingness to put in the same study time he must've put in at Med School when it came to just about any complex issue out there, foreign or domestic. Study up next time, Ben.

- John Kasich:  Between flailing his hands and arms around uncontrollably during nearly every public appearance, to giving himself a ticker-tape parade when he won his one primary state (in his home state, no less), this guy just strikes me as the typical sort of mealy-mouthed, stand-for-nothing, wimpy career politician type that the leftists and their media have grown to love as the gop-er nominee in so many recent presidential elections.

- Scott Walker: Thankfully, the USA ain't Wisconsin, what with its huge population of both loony leftists and doctrinaire deranged right-wingers (and not much of anything else).  Please remind me not to visit that place ever in my lifetime.

- Jeb Bush:  2 words: Whatta Assclown.

- Rand Paul:  A completely refurbished, rebranded hair piece might be a start if there's ever a next time.

- Carly Fiorina:  Being twice as smart as Sarah Palin (considering the starting point) can only get a broad so far.

- Rick Perry:  Should've tried to recapture his 2012 form, since he sure as hell would've gotten a lot more media traction if he'd forgotten his talking points again this time around.

- Bobby Jindal: Some people should never endeavor to perform a State of the Union response speech. Or a presidential run for that matter.

- Lindsey Graham: People who have made a nice career angering the left and right equally should stay on that path rather than trying to wade into the same place as the slimeballs of the left and right, particularly when they bring no more to the table than the garden-variety political skills of Graham. Food for thought, senator.

SO, Congrats on your Greatest Class of a Generation, gop-ers! The same one about to be rolled by a fundamentally flawed candidate in the perpetually dishonest and corrupt Hilary the Hoary.  Maybe in another nine or ten generations, gop-ers, you might actually win another popular vote in a presidential election.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

My, Aren't We Presumptuous, Inevitable, & Entitled: Hilary the Hoary Ordains That It's Still to be Decided What Hubby Bill's Title Will be When She's Elected President...

Hilary's title, in contrast, is largely set in stone. To wit: Hilary the Hoary I (i.e. the First of Her Name), illustrious and esteemed successor to His Lord Majesty King Nothing Obama. Make Way!

But what shall we call slimeball Bill?  Suggestion: Slick Willy should play off the ol' ball-and-chain's title for purposes of his own moniker, but keep it far shorter:  If she's the Hoary One, then he should be, simply put, Billy the Whorey.

Thus: Different meaning and word, but same pronunciation. Voters of the democrat party and gop-er party need that sort of simplicity to keep everything straight.

Friday, April 1, 2016

No April Foolin': Forget Hilary the Hoary -- One of THESE Broads Should Be Elected the First Toots President!

Hilary hasn't had a figure remotely approaching any of these hot little numbers since her formative years in the Roaring Twenties.  Even if she did dance a mean Charleston back then (allegedly).

Monday, March 28, 2016

Anarchy in the U-Konn: "Parents in Easter Egg Hunt Ramgage; Adults Push Children to Ground, Steal Their Buckets" in Connecticut...

One four-year-old  was "left bloody" and "many toddlers were pushed into the mud" by the "marauding parents," according to the linked story.  Little surprise that a story replete with depraved anarchy, anger, violence, and madness would come from Connecticut -- the state that's seen repeatedly fit to elect old-fangled socialist grouch Bernie Sanders as its U.S. Senator.

Gets me thinking. Maybe I should usurp one of the more controversial ideas of the crazy, cartoonish gop-er frontrunner Trump and espouse building a wall instead along the Mississippi River to keep all the eastern leftists the hell away from all the rest of us? Then at least the kids on Easter could still be kids without the fear of a riot breaking out.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Big Doings in the democrat party Agenda:
Hilary the Hoary "Pushes 'Area 51' Reveal."
But Why Stop There?

While she's at it, Clinton ougtta go the whole nine yards and really add some meat to the democrat party platform for November.  I'm thinking along the lines of creating a new federal Department of Cryptozoology that could once and for all get to the bottom of that whole Bigfoot thing...

And maybe -- finally -- a blue ribbon federal panel (or at least a red ribbon one) to tackle the unsolved mystery of why extracted spiral notebook paper always seems to dump those white little chads all over the damn place (can I get a Racism, please?).

Or maybe a new federal committee to get at the heart of the obvious longstanding conspiracy to preserve the sperm of Joe McCarthy for future nefarious genetic experimentation (see Ted Cruz).

The possibilities are truly endless.  All we need is a frail, pallid old septuagenarian like Hilary to conjure 'em all up for us!

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Thumbs Down?: "Three Women Pick Up Hitchhiker, Force Him to Have Sex"...

...You know, when Walkin' Joe Teasdale (pictured above with the late Jimmy Carter) traversed the State of Missouri by foot in 1976, I think maybe the guy was on to something. I wonder if a gang a' broads ever "forced" him into a foursome too?!?

Regardless, I'm thinking of giving this shit a try and hittin' the shoulders of I-70 once things warm up a little more. You may see me out there, ladies. Just look for the the guy with the sign reading, "Have Thumb, Will Bang Ya."

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Super Dupe Old Poop: Hilary the Hoary Lays the Smackdown on Old-Fangled socialist Grouch Bernie Sanders on Tuesday. Makes Me Wonder...

In recent days we've seen the Sanders supporters pouring their efforts into organizing protests and disrupting crazy Trump ramblings (errr, rallies) for the general election. Well, you might've instead just wanted to spend a little of that time and focus on helping Bernie, ya know, actually win something on Tuesday night in the primary elections (rather than Bernie getting squash matched by the Hilary and democrat party Machine like a Long Island louse -- officially relegating the Feel of the "Bern" campaign to Brooklyn Battery Tunnel Toast).

But then again, few would ever accuse radical leftists like Sanders supporters (see, e.g., His Majesty King Nothing) of exactly being the brightest bulbs on the ol' Christmas tree. As long as they have a good park bench or street gutter to occupy, these angry acolytes seem as happy as Larry David tokin' the schwag during a bad Curb episode.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Party Like It's 1984: Marco Rubio Wins D.C. gop-er Primary, Piling the Beltway On Top of Minnesota in His Treasure Trove of Campaign Wins!

District of Columbia and Minnesota.

My goodness would Fritz Mondale be proud!

And Nancy Reagan nostalgic.

The Robotic Waterboy sure has a certain sense of timing and repeat.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Tuesday Primaries: Big Winner in Both Parties is Old-Fangled socialist Grouch Bernie Sanders, Who Upset Hilary In Michigan! But...

...Make no mistake, Bernie still has ZILCH chance at the democrat party nomination.  The Corrupt democrat party Fix has been in on this guy from Day 1, with mentally challenged democrat party chairman Patty "Wasserman" Simpson and the entire Hilary and democrat party Machine in full effect to ensure the viability and victory of the ever-corrupt, perpetually-dishonest Hilary...

HEY, as even I have told the young 'uns recently, at least radical leftist Bernie is an Honest Man!  Hilary and His Majesty King Nothing Obama wouldn't know an honest thought if it promised them a guaranteed election victory down to the ol' Crossroads that Robert Johnson used to sing about.  Although, to be be fair, Hil and Barry would both certainly and always try to "pivot" towards anything the Crossroads Boss might require.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Stop the Press: "Obama Staying in DC After Presidency." Sometimes Drudge Report's a Bit Slow on the Uptake...

The fact that Obama has bought a house in D.C. and plans to stay there after his presidency in order to stick his snoot in everything and be the most obnoxious and repulsive ex-president in history is, like, yesterday's news from at least 2-3 years ago.

Maybe tomorrow I'll learn from Drudge that Dewey has defeated Truman and that the Krauts have bombed Pearl Harbor? Or again that gop-ers "are trying to woo whites"?

Regardless, I get it, already, Matt: His Majesty King Nothing ain't going nowhere next year. Did you really have to remind me? And on a damn Friday where I was lookin' to unwind this evening with a good porno? Freakin' Killjoy.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Marco Super-bio on Tuesday with gop-er Elites, But Not Much of Anyone Else, Making Waterboy Tuesday's Super Loser (& Voter Enthusiasm the Big Winner)...

The young Cuban Waterboy from Florida, Rubio the Repeating Robot (does this guy know any insult other than "con artist"?), has certainly coalesced most of the gop-er non-street elite (a/k/a "establishment") vote around him.  Only problem? There simply aren't enough of those old moth-ridden slimeballs to make much of a difference...

Result: Rubio after Super Tuesday has still yet to win a primary in a single real state (I don't count Minnesota, the same joint that once elected Jesse Ventura as governor and was the only state to vote for Fritz Mondale in 1984), and failed to get 20% (and therefore nary any delegates) in Texas.  What's more, Rubio likely loses even his home state in a few weeks (if he's still in the race at that point).

This leads to a related point (bear with me): While Hilary the Hoary (the certain democrat party nominee) remains a decided favorite to beat the gop-er nominee (almost certainly Trump), it would still make me a bit nervous on the leftist 20 percenter side of things that the gop-ers continue to turn out in record numbers at these primaries, whilst democrat party turnout is mediocre at best. This ties into the gop-er elite discussion above...

At first blush, I'd almost be inclined to say that the lack of democrat party enthusiasm this year might be largely offset by the fact that so many of the gop-er elites -- notwithstanding heavy gop-er turnout overall -- have been saying they will under no circumstances vote for Trump.  But I have to very much question whether such offset will be of any significance at all, since I just don't think the gop-er elites have much in the way of total numbers (except in their massive bank accounts, of course) -- see Rubio's Super Tuesday performance.

So I'm officially now downgrading Hilary's chances of winning the presidency to 65% (down from my prior assessment of 75% last October).  The ever-corrupt, inherently dishonest Hilary continues to retain every general election advantage imaginable (electoral map demographics, lapdog media, etc.) over Trump or any other gop-er nominee -- except for that enthusiasm thing...

Don't completely discount that factor come November in a very non-conventional presidential year in which the typical rules don't apply to the crazy, cartoonish candidate (with an increasingly novel and interesting support coalition) that the gop-ers are likely to be putting up. From a pure political analysis standpoint, 2016 is as much uncharted water as any presidential election the ol' Rager has ever seen (and he's been watchin' for awhile now).

Friday, February 26, 2016

Jelly Fish: A Solitary Thought After Watching the gop-er Presidential Candidates Rumble Thursday Night...

...If these gop-er party candidates were ever 1/100th as rough, riled up, and competitive with the democrat party presidential nominee as they are when catfighting each other, the gop-ers might actually win more than one popular vote in a presidential election every 30 years.

Think about that one of these centuries, right-wingers, lest being relegated to being a secondary, regional party is an incessant aspiration.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

South Carolina & Nevada: Hilary, Trump & Rubio the Big Winners. Meantime Good Riddance to the Bush Dynasty!

First and foremost: Bye Bye Bush. Here's hoping we never have to see another one of your family running for president ever again (if only we could get the Clinton and Obama families to follow along). The Bush name should be disqualified from running for president after the bad presidency of the old man and the disastrous presidency of W Bush (who, along with His Majesty King Nothing Obama, is one of two individuals who are the two worst presidents of my lifetime, even surpassing the disgusting likes of the late Jimmy Carter and Tricky Dick Nixon).

The ever-corrupt and dishonest Hilary the Hoary had a great day in Nevada. She beat old-fangled socialist grouch Bernie Sanders by something like 50 points in the black vote in a state where that vote represented only about 13% of the population. OUCH! What happens to Bernie in upcoming states where the black vote is much larger? I've maintained all along that I can see no way how Hilary doesn't get the democrat party nomination (sorry for the double negative, Jeeves), and absolutely nothing has changed in the Rager's assessment.

Next, Rubio the Robot, the young Waterboy from Florida, cemented a spot as the Anti-Trump candidate, recovering quite nicely from that bizarrely bad debate and primary performance he had in New Heroin. It looks like he'll finish second in South Carolina to the entertaining but crazy and cartoonish Trump, but edging out (or in a virtual tie with) Ted "Joe McCarthy" Cruz.  That's a terrible result for Cruz, BTW, who had looked to challenge Trump in South Carolina or AT LEAST finish a very strong second. Neither occurred. Think I heard Cruz won not a single county in the highly evangelical South Carolina. He's gotta be hurtin' more this weekend than even the so-called "Bern"!

Finally, while neither of these two races is over (particularly on the gop-er side), it looks very much this weekend like a Trump-Hilary matchup this fall.  (I believe no gop-er has ever failed to get the nomination after winning New Heroin and South Carolina, as Trump now has). In other words, another rotten choice for America from these two pathetic, extremist, rot-gut parties. My favorite dude, None of the Above (i.e., voting for just about any third party candidate on the ballot), has never looked so good.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Look At This GOOF

In recent days, we've seen Hilary the Hoary, in no particular order:

- Bark like a dog uncontrollably at a rally;

- Speak in a fake "black accent" to Al Sharpton;

- Dispatch old battle axe Madeleine Albright to tell women they'll have "a special place in hell" if they don't vote for Hilary;

- Have yet another extreme coughing fit while trying to speak; and

- Have her minions blame all of her current woes on various capricious media, sexist, and right-wing "conspiracies."

I'm left to wonder: Are all these erratic behaviors and questionable decisions attributable merely to Hilary being really, really, really old?

OR, is there also (or perhaps instead) a certain level of advancing mental dementedness rearing a rather ugly face?

But whether it's the former or the latter, please keep this individual leashed and the heck away from my dog.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Today's Death of Antonin Scalia: Easily the Most Historically Significant Event of the Obama Years and Probably Since 9-11...

Scalia's death gives Obama the opportunity to try to transform the U.S. Supreme Court into a 5-4 leftist majority in what's left of his time in office.  Even if Obama fails, the 2016 presidential election becomes an extremely high-stakes political slimeball referendum on the Supreme Court.

Either way, God help us.

Postscript:  And get ready now for what may become one of the nastiest political fights in American history over whether Obama's inevitable leftist nominee will be acted upon by the Senate and confirmed during the long final 11 months of Obama.  Again, God help us.

Friday, February 12, 2016

"Economic Catastrophe Close" for socialist Venezuela, Leaving His Majesty King Nothing, Sean Penn, & Danny Glover All Utterly Dejected...

...And it doesn't reflect so well, either, on today's democrat party, which flirts this year with making old-fangled socialist grouch Bernie Sanders its nominee for president.

But I know, I know, leftist 20 percenters: The only reason socialism and far left policies have failed time and time again during the course of human history is that American leftists have never been the ones in charge of them, right?

Sort of like the disastrous DeBlasio regime in the Big Apple. And the economic malaise and debt of His Majesty's nearly 8-year reign. And the depravity of the budgets and deficits of California state and local governments.

If only we could get some Americans in charge of this socialism stuff, it would all be different!  All they need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and all would be fine! Man, I swear I'm gettin' too old for this shit.

And ya know, maybe I should stop referring to the right-wingers as the ones who are deranged. After all, as funnyman Bob Einstein once said of insanity: It's doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Or was that Juan Epstein?

Postscript:  With all of these dire Venezuela headlines, Hugo Chavez and Jimmy Carter must be rolling over in their spacious, palatial mausoleums.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Pig in a Ballot: "600 lb. Hog Shows Up at New Hampshire Polling Place"! But I Cries Foul (or at least Swine)...

...Chris Christie should not be allowed to vote in the primary.  He's from Jersey for chrissakes!

Postscript: As the New Heroin results come in tonight, it looks like Christie could've used his own vote, since he didn't get too many others, and he has now been cut out of the next gop-er debate due to his putrid NH performance. As for the other NH results:

Nothing too groundbreaking (and far from the "Revolution" that Drudge proclaimed, since party loyalists bucking party establishment for alternative partisans is about as "revolutionary" as Hatfield rats movin' over to the McCoy estate for a better taste of cheese):  The two huge favorites Trump and socialist Sanders won as expected, and after his terrible last debate, Rubio came in behind even Kasich and Bush.  (Lack of) Fallout...

I still see no way the corrupt, ever-dishonest Hilary doesn't get the democrat party nomination, but the gop-ers remain very wide open amongst the crazy Trump, unlikable Cruz, and dare I say Mr. Dynasty Default Dumbass, Bush. Get ready for yet another awful pair of choices from these two rotten parties this November, my fellow Independents. 'Course, I look forward to votin' for my favorite candidate, None of the Above, as usual. You should join me there for once.    

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Can We Just Put Iowa Out to Pasture? Regardless of the Hilary & socialist Bernie Coin Flips, Iowa Had One Big Winner Monday Night: Waterboy Turned New "Comeback Kid," Marco Rubio...

First a simple truth: Only a country so messed up as to be incessantly controlled by slimeball parties like the democrat party and gop-er party would permit two very small potatoes states like Iowa and New Hampshire to control and ultimately decide every single one of our so-called presidential candidates every four years.  I, for one, wish we could float Iowa and New Hampshire right on out to sea, down the Mississippi, up the old Erie Canal, or through any other viable method that appears somewhat humane.

That aside, the big story of Monday's Iowa caucus that didn't relate to coin flips on the leftist 20 percenters' side of things was one Marco Rubio, and not Ted "Joe McCarthy Clone" Cruz's minor upset of Trump.  The Donald should still win New Hampshire and be competitive for the near future, along with Cruz. Nope, the big winner was Rubio, who way over-performed the expectations of most and finished a very strong third right behind Trump.  Could Rubio take this momentum and pull a New Hampshire upset of Trump (since I can't see Cruz doing so)? Could be most interesting.  And regardless, this is probably gonna be a very long haul on the right-winger side of things.

And what better news could there be for the gop-er loyalists in general (even if many of the "anti-establishment" among them don't realize it)? That's because I think Rubio easily gives the gop-ers the best chance of beating Hilary (although she'd still be a decided favorite), and much more so than the entertaining but crazy Trump and the completely unlikable Cruz. Ya might wanna keep an eye on the thirsty Cuban from Florida, democrat party.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Glad You're Around to Tell Us These Things: "Federal Reserve Says Growth in U.S. Has Slowed"...

Really?  Anemic economic growth this decade? First I've heard about anything like that.

Gets me thinking: Someone should bestow this Federal Reserve with a now-worthless University of Missouri journalism degree and commission said Reserve to write wire headlines for news stories across the country.

Then I'd look forward to what we'd get next from the Fed -- likely profound gems such as "Stifling National Debt Threatens Nation's Future," "Obama Not Actually a Moderate," "Trump Trends Crazy," "Hilary's Really Really Really Old," and "That Breeze In Here Is Probably Because the Front and Back Doors Are Open."

After all, while we may not need a Weatherman, we could certainly use some more of these helpful Fed pronouncements to know which way the wind blows.

Monday, January 25, 2016

No Thanks: Former Big Apple Mayor Mikey Bloomberg "Exploring Plans for Independent Presidential Bid" If socialist Bernie Sanders Gets democrat party Nomination...

While one of these years I would greatly welcome an actual viable Independent candidate for president (not to mention our first Jewish president), I'm sorry to say that the 73-year-old Mayor Bloomberg ain't it.

First, there's little that's Independent about Bloomberg, who's more of a leftist, straight down the line, than he is anything. His past record of cutting debt and deficits in the Big Apple is a positive, but not much else.

And I'd think (although for different reasons) that American leftist 20 percenters (the base of the modern democrat party) might be on my side here, since there's a chance that a Bloomberg "Independent" run -- with Mikey as a sort of Bernie-Lite likely to steal more votes from the democrat party than gop-ers -- could cost the democrat party the election and hand it to the gop-ers (in much the same way Ross Perot cost the gop-ers the election in 1992, and how a Trump "Independent" run could cost the gop-ers the election this year).

Put another way: Very few gop-er devotees would vote for this guy, so who would be voting for him? Maybe a lot of Independents, but maybe also a lot of democrat party people.

Finally, thoughts on 8 years of a Bloomberg presidency:  I see Bloomberg paying only campaign lip service to cutting debt and deficits, leaving us with a healthy $25-30 Trillion National Debt at the end of his regime. And as a special added attraction, for 8 years all Americans will get to slurp their sugary soft drinks out of 16-ounce cups. Please do us a favor, and just stay home, old man.

Postscript:  This whole conversation is admittedly quite academic, in all likelihood, since Hilary, despite recent stumbles, remains the odds-on favorite for the democrat party nomination, and it appears there's no chance Bloomberg runs if she's in the fold. I guess that would be one positive of the corrupt, dishonest old ball-and-chain getting her "inevitable" nomination.

Friday, January 22, 2016

This'll Teach Him to Try to Break Out the Hoosegow: Kansas Man Given "128-Year Sentence for Attempted Prison Escape"...

Although actually, an argument could be made that this con (52-year-old Scott Gilbert) got off pretty easy peazy Japaneazy. If he'd been Andy Dufresne, and if he'd been caught after breaking out of the Shawshank in the 1960s, you know there's no way he gets off with just a century and a third of extra time...

Either Cap'n Hadley would've beaten him to death down in the hole, or Warden Norton would've had his head blown off by a tower guard out in the yard. Or, they would've just fed him to The Sisters.

But alas, the times they are a' changin', and this Gilbert should be counting his lucky stars. See ya in 2144, pal.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Blue Bite Special: Broad Allegedly "Bit Off Walmart Worker's Finger After Getting Caught Stealing Condoms, Lubricant and Panties"...

...No word yet, however, whether this Carolynn Wright dish at least protected herself first by slipping a condom over the digit before gnawing it off (allegedly).