Friday, April 24, 2015

Old Bat Meet Kettle: Hilary, With an Estimated Net Worth of $150-200 MILLION, Calls This Week for Those Dastardly Wealthy People to be "Toppled" to the Ground!

Hackneyed Hilary is well-positioned to be 2016's version of forgettable gop-er Mitt Romney -- an out-of-touch, ultra-rich political fat cat who doesn't stand for much of anything except all-encompassing ego and perceived entitlement to elected office.

I mean, the way this broad's going, she's going to be worth more than the ol' Mittster by Election Day 2016 (and that fart's worth a cool quarter-BILLION dollars)! (Especially if some of those Middle Eastern dictators really start buckin' up on Hilary's behalf!).

Meantime Hilary's deep old pappy pockets -- she's threatened to spend a mind-boggling record $2.6 BILLION on the 2016 campaign -- certainly hasn't stopped her from spouting the same tired, hundred years' old, class warfare rhetoric of the leftist democrat party.  She declared this week that she will "topple" (common meaning: tear down; bring to a ruinous end) those damn pesky rich people (apparently excluding her own rich ancient carcass).  But hey, I guess really old rhetoric sort of befits really old candidates, no?

Besides, you've heard, haven't ya? That's right -- Hilary The Hoary says she wants to be your "Champion"!  Whatever that means, precisely...

But truth be told, if being a "Champion" means sleep-walking through a vapid, out of the past, Astroturf presidential campaign chock full of adolescent talking points, inevitability, and entitled arrogance, then the fossilized former first lady must certainly be considered at least a #1 Contender. Maybe Hilary should be the one stepping into the ring with Wladimir Klitschko this weekend instead of Bryant Jennings?

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

"World's Biggest House Goes Up For Sale -- 115 Bedrooms, 100 Bathrooms"! Man, I Could Use That Kinda Space to Move Around In...

Rager is sick and tired of being confined in small spaces, and this joint in Italy could really hit the spot.  But what to do with all them damn rooms?!?

Oh, I'd put 'em to use, just you never mind about that.  To wit:

-"Shithouse of the Day":  First, I'd rotate my use of all 100 shitters, such that no particular privy would need to be used anymore than 3 or 4 days out of the year. Special added benefit: With such infrequent use, I could probably get by (at least most of the time) with not having the crappers cleaned more than once every 10-20 years or so.

-"The Porn Nook":  I've long had a hankerin' to set aside an exclusive preview room for my Friday night porn pictures. Now I'd have it! With a year's supply of wash towels on hand at all times.

-"A Multi-Pantried Approach":  I'd devote a different room to become the pantry for each of the five food groups. Ya know -- red meat, bread, condiments, soup, and beer.

-"Give the Broads the Ol' Four Corners":  That joint's so huge, one could have four broads over at the same time, and just squirrel each away in a different corner!  "Be back in a little while, Mary Lou -- I gots a room to hit over there to check out for leaky pipes."

-"The Centrifuge":  This would be a dungeon-like chamber of horrors where I'd toss any leftists or right-wingers dumb enough to ever come a' trespassing or poachin' on my land.

-"The Bada-Bing Room": This space would double as not only a "Sopranos" viewing room on weekend mornings, but would also be easily convertible to a fully equipped titty bar to entertain any of my friends who aren't dead yet when they're in town.

-"Weapons Cache": Last but not least, meneeds a central repository for the utensils necessary to keep Centrifuge inhabitants and other motherfuckers in line when they're around my joint. Here, I'd have on hand the standard panoply of devices of mayhem, from buggy whips, riding crops, and railroad spikes, to meat grinders, Katana swords, and bone-saws.

So my plan's well on its way. Now I just need the $30 million for the askin' price. That's a shitload of bank jobs and/or gas stations to knock over. Not that I'm even given to that sort of thing, but I gots to try sumpin over here to pursue me Dream, No?

Friday, April 17, 2015

Hey, Lots of Really Old People Don't In Fact Have Dementia: UK Newspaper Cover Actually Seems to Imply that Hilary Has Alzeimer's!

That's a front page from UK's The Independent this week. And I don't care too much for the insinuation either...

Sure, Hilary's a decrepit old war horse out of the past. Sure, she's a lying sack of entitled excrement to boot. But someone needs to tell The Independent that there's a difference between (1) a person who goes around knowingly spouting fraudulent statements about past events and (2) a person who simply misremembers the past after losing their marbles to Alzeimer's.

I just haven't seen any credible evidence that Hilary currently has on-set Alzeimer's symptoms, a la right-winger hero Ronald Reagan in his second term.  Hilary may be pushing 70, but she ain't quite arrived at ol' Ronnie's mid-1980s age just yet.  Give her to around 2018, however, and let's reconvene on the issue.  Deal?

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Can't Say I Blame Her: Female Rapper Azealia Banks "Talks Obama Sex Fantasy in Billboard Magazine"...

Ya know, I've certainly been known to poke fun at the first lady's overbearing food police penchant from time to time. But I've never said she's unattractive...

In fact, I believe I've noted previously in this space that she's truly quite fetching for an early 50s-something broad. Best lookin' first lady of my lifetime (even if the pickens have been mighty slim).

So I can definitely see where this Azealia Banks is coming from when she talks about her Obama sex fantasy. Only one caveat: If this hot little item Azealia next conjures up a Hilary fantasy, then methinks you'll hear the Rager whistlin' a much different tune the next time around.

Friday, April 10, 2015

"What's in a Name?" Female Supporters Warn, "Don't Call 'Hillary' Clinton By Her First Name [Nor Sundry Other Garden-Variety Terms] -- That's Sexist!" OK, I Shall Abide [To a Point]...

Shit, I already been abidin' for a year or two now. I never say "Hillary"...

Rather it'll always be "Hilary" to me. You see, I don't ever call political slimeballs by the names, labels, or spellings they're given, request, or prefer to be called. They're deserving of no such respect.

That leads me to "democrat party." And "gop-er party." And
"leftist [20 percenters]". And "right-wingers." And "Hilary," as the case may be.

Not to mention other descriptions that Hilary supporters have recently warned me not to use (and by those warnings I cannot abide), to wit:  Hilary Clinton is a polarizing, calculating, disingenuous, insincere, ambitious, inevitable, entitled, over-confident, secretive, out of touch, do anything to win, old battle axe of a broad who represents the past (and every single word of that be true).  Now, all that being said...

S-O-O-O-O-O -- What should you call ME, you may be inquiring?

ANS:  Just keep your fuckin' mouth shut about me.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

The Inside Skinny: How Victoria's Secret Model Kelly Gale Manages to Go Around Looking Like THIS...

According to this hot little Australian number Kelly, her secret is a simple two-fold equation:  (1) Hit the gym 3 times a day; and (2) Consume a bunch of seeds and berries and shit (pic above).

My only question:  Is this broad claiming that I can get down to Kelly-like male proportions if I just maintain a diet focused on such things as barley, wheat, oats, and rye seeds? 

Because, I've gots a good friend named Mr. K-Ice who packs all them same damn seeds, but very much begs to differ with Kelly's proffered opinion.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Report: "Michelle O 'Healthy' Lunches Fed to Pigs." OK, This Whole Michelle ObamaMeals Thing Is Really Starting to Get a Bit Ridiculous...

Where are the animal rights people when you need them for once? This is so inhumane...

Here we have a clear abuse of innocent hogs, and PETA's not so much as even stickin' a snout in.

Meantime the ASPCA also needs to grow a hoof, apparently thinking that feeding crap to swine be fine as well.

Meguesses these Michelle ObamaMeals must have the right letter next to their name.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Endless Campaign: Once You've Known One Leftist 20 Percenter -- Same Talking Points; Same Rotgut Reactions; Same Tired Tactics "All the Time"...

In reference to devout leftist Big Apple mayor Bill de Blasio, the following passage struck me this week from a New York Post column by Michael Goodwin (one of America's most entertaining political columnists, for my money):

"'All politics, all the time for de Blasio' -- The quote of the week from [local democrat party broad Cathy Nolan on de Blasio's politicking on education]. 'Everything with the de Blasio administration is a campaign,' she told the Wall Street Journal."

Continues Goodwin: "In his second year, just like his first, Bill de Blasio would rather campaign than govern. He panders to his 17 percent base as though that’s all there is to leading and managing an international city of 8.4 million people. It’s all politics, all the time."

Gee whiz, that description seems to sound rather vaguely familiar. Let's see: Constant campaigning rather than governing? Concerned with the 20% of the population that groupthinks his ideology, to the complete exclusion of everyone else? Politics before everything, "all the time"?

Well, anyway, the name will come to me. Until then, I'm just glad we've never elected an American president who was like that. Such a dude would probably have to go down as one of the worst ever. Don't 'cha think?

Friday, March 27, 2015

Methinks She Needs Lasik Surgery Instead: "Human Barbie" Says She's Getting Her 37th Plastic Surgery to "Look Like" the Doll!

I'm confused over here. Not precisely sure what doll this "Human Barbie" Lacey Wildd is trying to emulate?

Simply put, the children's Barbie doll has never had gigantic tits like this Wildd freak (now approaching a QQQ cup size!). What damn doll is this bosomy broad looking at?!?

Now, if Wildd was trying to be a retread of, say, Dolly Parton or a pale version of old school porn hottie Ebony Ayes, then yes -- I'd say she gots something going on...

But the Barbie thing just ain't workin' out so well for ya over there, Lace. Sorry doll.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Y-a-w-n: Greaseball & Joe McCarthy Clone Ted Cruz Becomes First gop-er to Declare His Candidacy for the Presidency in 2016...

But there's little need to waste more than a single sentence on Cruz, since this greasy, one-dimensional right-winger is easily summarized in one word:  Unelectable.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Gentlemen Prefer Her: "Once Dubbed Kim Kardashian's Protege," Hot Little Number Lauren Stoner Steps Out on Her Ownsome (& Better Yet, On a Miami Beachsome!)

Oh My! What a Tight Toots! And mebelieves this buoyant bayside broad has officially rendered as Servant her former Master...

Give Big Daddy ALL THAT any day of the week, year or lifetime before Kim's huge fat ass, farcically fake tits, and profoundly retarded IQ.

Has the Rager begun to grow on ya yet over there, Stoner?!?

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Just Shut the Fuck Up Already: Miami Man Shouts on the Street at Temple-Goers, "Allah Akbar, We Will Cut Your Heads Off!" Uh, No You Won't, Tough Guy...

...Not if I bust yer jaw for ya and punch ya right in the cock first, asshole.

Take your slimy carcass over to the "islamic state" or the Persian Shithouse of Iran, you prick.

Because I won't offer ya even so much as one jobs program or wimp treaty before I split your head as a favor, slug-job.

Friday, March 13, 2015

"Pert Derriere"? Not the Precise Same Two Words that 1st Came to Mind For Me, But They'll Do: Zoe Kravitz Shows Off in Miami, Set to Appear in THREE Big Films the Next Few Months...

This hot little number Zoe (of course the fruit of the loins of Lenny Kravitz and old Cosby kid Lisa Bonet) seems to be at a career-exploding moment at present -- about to show up in short order in THREE hot new releases: (1) a new take on the 80s Road Warrior blockbusters ("Mad Max: Fury Road"); (2) a "Divergent" sequel called "Insurgent"; and (3) "drone-strike drama Good Kill".

Personally, I was already planning to check out the re-imagined Mad Max picture. But now I may also have a Good Kill and an Insurgent in my immediate future. After viewing the below-linked stories concerning this Zoe broad, truth be told, those two additional films had me at Ass.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Her Crime, My Gain: Looks Like I'll Be Getting Back that Ill-Advised Grand That I Previously Sent to Hilary's Clinton Foundation!

You see, it seems that after my contribution email reached Hilary's home server, she lost it.

Guess the old warhorse doesn't give my money quite the same royal treatment as dead presidents from Algeria and Qatar.

Instead, she treats my email like a garden-variety piece of State Department business or something.   

But oh well.  What difference, at this point, does it make?  Personally, I blame everything on "The Video."

Incidentally: Given Hilary's current Email-Gate (which just might turn into something a bit serious), it's still not too late for Obama to ink an executive order ordaining his eligibility for a third term, is it?

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

God Damn! "Florida School Bans 'God Bless America' From Morning Announcements," But What If the School Tries to Go Even Farther?

It seems little Joey (not his real name) was supposed to read the morning announcements (they still have those?!?) over the ol' school intercom (those too?) and took the opportunity to inject a "God Bless America" right at the end!  Good God, can't have that, now can we?!?

Some "offended atheist" (see picture illustration for "redundancy" in the dictionary) students complained, some "atheist activist" (there I go again!) group got involved, and yada-yada-yada -- suffice it to say that little Joey won't be spouting the announcements again until maybe sometime in graduate school.

But the story got me thinking on a couple of different levels over here (I know, I know -- there's a first time for everything):

-First, what if the "offending" phrase had instead been "God Damn America"? Ya know, in the vein of Obama's preacher, the Good (and above-pictured) Reverend Wright, not to mention the same as the sentiments of many leftist 20 percenters everywhere. Would we then instead hear the rallying cry for "tolerance" and "diversity" of speech on high school and college campuses on behalf of little Joey (then suddenly transformed into a leftist hero)?

-Second, and moreover, there's the question of where little Joey should take this from here. These pesky atheists claim that Joey's "God Bless America" was wrapped in a school announcement, making it an impermissible endorsement of religion by a government entity (said school) under the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment. Fine and dandy... 

But that still doesn't mean that little Joey is without his own First Amendment rights, of the free speech variety, there at the school. Sure, Joey can't go around disrupting the educational environment by shouting "God Bless" in people's faces and shit. But if it was me, I have some fun with this...

Like when someone does something deserving a "Thank you" around the school, instead tell them, "God Bless." Hell, toss in an "America" if you want. (An example situation might be when the Cookie gives you your Michelle ObamaMeal at lunchtime, although I'm cognizant that such may be more likely to induce a horrified shriek than a "thanks").

Or another example occasion: When that final bell sounds at the end of the day, let loose on a "God Bless America" at that point to express your pleasure. Or heck, let the phrase fly when you're done with your business down to the school shithouse after Michelle's lunch.

Point being, the school cannot out-and-out ban students from ever uttering a "God Bless" or "God Bless America" on school grounds without running afoul of that same First Amendment the atheists like to wield like a cudgel. So I'd try to pick my spots and just hope an atheist or two gets offended in the process. Since, after all, is there anything more fun or satisfying on the planet than offending a kooky, goof leftist or right-winger nut-job?

Friday, February 27, 2015

Preschool Party Time: Iowa Kindergarten Teacher Allegedly Gets Her Drink On During Students' Valentine's Day Festivities! No Good?

She's 40-year-old pie-eyed (allegedly) kindergarten teacher Jennifer L. Rich (pic immediately above), and it was the Friday the 13th before Valentine's Day, so the pressure was on at that afternoon's class party: All those parents; all those 5-year-old punks; all that candy; and all them damn valentines! Ain't that enough to prompt any teacher to wanna whack down a six-pack to take the ol' edge off?

But you know those parents -- always the killjoy, them. And when one of 'em spotted a beer can in Tipsy Teach's (allegedly) classroom during the party, I figure parent had at least a few choices: Like take a drink, for one. Or dispose of the can (in a green-friendly recycle bin, of course). Or entertain the little shits on hand with a can crush to the head!

Or, you can just be an old Grumpy Gus and rat out the (allegedly) tanked teacher to the cops. Stoolie! When precisely that occurred, the cops reportedly arrived faster than a Keystone Ice buzz on a midget. Cops say they found a bag in the classroom with four full beer cans and a couple a' empties.

Reportedly adding to the federal case, as well, were a couple of bloodshot eyes on the (allegedly) well-oiled Ms. Rich. (Mewonders whether the party might've actually begun in earnest even before the kids arrived, given that a couple a' brews ain't normally gonna bloodshot a broad's eyes, no? But I digress).

Now this (allegedly) intoxicated teacher is going to have to swig her suds in a new classroom, since the whole brouhaha brought about her arrest and her resignation from her former suburban Des Moines elementary school.  Hey Teach: Take the booze to the shithouse or something next time, you psycho, crazy-eyed freak, ya!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

When Do the American Oscars Air? Regardless, "Czech Version of Oscars Is Duped Into Inviting Fake Jim Carrey Onstage During Its Awards Ceremony"!

But on a positive note for the Czech awards show, I'm hearing that the imposter Jim Carrey outshone a typical appearance by the real McCoy -- actually garnering, ya know, a few isolated laughs for his old imbecilic antics.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Oh GOOD GRIEF! Me Needs to Follow Broads' Lead & Start Paying Attention to Those Damn Super Bowl Commercials!

Like any upstanding Man's Man, the Rager typically eschews any ounce of attention towards the morosely expensive, usually unfunny "Super Bowl commercials." I always gots more pressing business to close during those fleeting moments...

Such as dedicating the shithouse. And grabbing another couple Keystone Ices. Plus a platter of homemade Double Down Dogs. (One of which I toss to my own old dog, while cursing him upside down for spite, just to demonstrate my humane side -- although I digress). And JUST LOOK where my little commercial-time dalliances have gotten me!...

I completely missed out on this toothsome teeted toots Charlotte McKinney and her two mighty Mick meat puppets on the Carl's Jr Ad! -- Forcing my relegation to rudimentary after-the-fact accounts and second-hand anecdotes just to get a little load of her luxuriant lamp-posts.

And yes, yes I say -- I do see utilization of the DVR button in my early February 2016 future for this greatest of gladiatorial contests known as the "Super Bowl."  If you'd ever told me that the recording could double one week of the year as both a sporting event and as my usual Friday Night porn flick, you mainstream bastards would've had me at Hello long before this current Come-To-Jesus-H-Jugs moment.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Executive Privilege: "Michelle Obama's Secret Aspen Ski Trip Exposed After Her Motorcade Was Allowed by Cops to Sneak Around Car Accident"...

But no word yet whether the special allowance was related to undue duress and threats of Michelle ObamaMeals suddenly supplanting free flatfoot donuts and coffee down to local Colorado convenience stores.

Friday, February 13, 2015

It's Almost Boring, Always Being Right: democrat party Hack David Axelrod Chimes In That gop-ers Will Lose in 2016 Unless They Nominate Jeb Bush. Gee, Never Saw That Comin'!

Let's see, what was it that I said about 10 days ago? Oh yeah, here's the quote: 

"Expect plenty of disingenuous statements from democrat party people and their media claiming that Jeb is the 'best' candidate the gop-ers can nominate (a real challenger to Hilary!)." -- The Independent Rage, 02/03/2015

On cue, one of the leading democrat party henchman in the country -- longtime Obama confidant and slimeball David Axelrod -- had this to say this week to right-winger website, Daily Caller, at a book signing event:

"Axelrod said at the event that [gop-ers] will be doomed if they choose not to nominate Jeb Bush . . . adding that if Bush loses the primary then 'he will lose and the [gop-ers] will lose as well."

The motivation for these statements is easy to understand, of course: democrat party leftists see Bush as an opponent whom Hilary Clinton will easily defeat (and frankly I agree with 'em); as a result, it's in their interests to lie and play the guy up like he's some sort of 2016 juggernaut.

Axelrod's salvo is just the first of what are sure to be many similar proclamations in the weeks and months to come from those of his ilk. Meantime, these creatures and their media will take the opposite tact when it comes to the opponent they fear the most -- right-winger Wisconsin governor Scott Walker.

Walker will be labeled as a guy with no chance of beating Hilary, and the long knives will be out to get him. Already this week we've got the Washington Post digging into Walker's college (yes college) years.

Never mind, of course, that seven years after the fact, I've still never gotten to take a gander at those Obama college records that he's always refused (and gotten away with refusing) to release. Privacy and ancient history are concepts that mean something, after all, as long as you have a "D" next to your name.

For now, methinks Mr. Walker better be readying his response for the other shoe likely to drop soon, i.e. when the Post next breaks the news of all those demerits Walker received in Miss Crabapple's first grade class. But hey, the democrat party warned us ahead of time that this guy had no chance of winning!