Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Pig in a Ballot: "600 lb. Hog Shows Up at New Hampshire Polling Place"! But I Cries Foul (or at least Swine)...

...Chris Christie can't vote in the primary.  He's from Jersey for chrissakes!


Postscript: As the New Heroin results come in tonight, it looks like Christie could've used his own vote, since he didn't get too many others, and he has now been cut out of the next gop-er debate due to his putrid NH performance. As for the other NH results:

Nothing too groundbreaking (and far from the "Revolution" that Drudge proclaimed, since party loyalists bucking party establishment for alternative partisans is about as "revolutionary" as Hatfield rats movin' over to the McCoy estate for a better taste of cheese):  The two huge favorites Trump and socialist Sanders won as expected, and after his terrible last debate, Rubio came in behind even Kasich and Bush.  (Lack of) Fallout...

I still see no way the corrupt, ever-dishonest Hilary doesn't get the democrat party nomination, but the gop-ers remain very wide open amongst the crazy Trump, unlikable Cruz, and dare I say Mr. Dynasty Default Dumbass, Bush. Get ready for yet another awful pair of choices from these two rotten parties this November, my fellow Independents. 'Course, I look forward to votin' for my favorite candidate, None of the Above, as usual. You should join me there for once.    

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Can We Just Put Iowa Out to Pasture? Regardless of the Hilary & socialist Bernie Coin Flips, Iowa Had One Big Winner Monday Night: Waterboy Turned New "Comeback Kid," Marco Rubio...

First a simple truth: Only a country so messed up as to be incessantly controlled by slimeball parties like the democrat party and gop-er party would permit two very small potatoes states like Iowa and New Hampshire to control and ultimately decide every single one of our so-called presidential candidates every four years.  I, for one, wish we could float Iowa and New Hampshire right on out to sea, down the Mississippi, up the old Erie Canal, or through any other viable method that appears somewhat humane.

That aside, the big story of Monday's Iowa caucus that didn't relate to coin flips on the leftist 20 percenters' side of things was one Marco Rubio, and not Ted "Joe McCarthy Clone" Cruz's minor upset of Trump.  The Donald should still win New Hampshire and be competitive for the near future, along with Cruz. Nope, the big winner was Rubio, who way over-performed the expectations of most and finished a very strong third right behind Trump.  Could Rubio take this momentum and pull a New Hampshire upset of Trump (since I can't see Cruz doing so)? Could be most interesting.  And regardless, this is probably gonna be a very long haul on the right-winger side of things.

And what better news could there be for the gop-er loyalists in general (even if many of the "anti-establishment" among them don't realize it)? That's because I think Rubio easily gives the gop-ers the best chance of beating Hilary (although she'd still be a decided favorite), and much more so than the entertaining but crazy Trump and the completely unlikable Cruz. Ya might wanna keep an eye on the thirsty Cuban from Florida, democrat party.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Glad You're Around to Tell Us These Things: "Federal Reserve Says Growth in U.S. Has Slowed"...

Really?  Anemic economic growth this decade? First I've heard about anything like that.

Gets me thinking: Someone should bestow this Federal Reserve with a now-worthless University of Missouri journalism degree and commission said Reserve to write wire headlines for news stories across the country.

Then I'd look forward to what we'd get next from the Fed -- likely profound gems such as "Stifling National Debt Threatens Nation's Future," "Obama Not Actually a Moderate," "Trump Trends Crazy," "Hilary's Really Really Really Old," and "That Breeze In Here Is Probably Because the Front and Back Doors Are Open."

After all, while we may not need a Weatherman, we could certainly use some more of these helpful Fed pronouncements to know which way the wind blows.


Monday, January 25, 2016

No Thanks: Former Big Apple Mayor Mikey Bloomberg "Exploring Plans for Independent Presidential Bid" If socialist Bernie Sanders Gets democrat party Nomination...

While one of these years I would greatly welcome an actual viable Independent candidate for president (not to mention our first Jewish president), I'm sorry to say that the 73-year-old Mayor Bloomberg ain't it.

First, there's little that's Independent about Bloomberg, who's more of a leftist, straight down the line, than he is anything. His past record of cutting debt and deficits in the Big Apple is a positive, but not much else.

And I'd think (although for different reasons) that American leftist 20 percenters (the base of the modern democrat party) might be on my side here, since there's a chance that a Bloomberg "Independent" run -- with Mikey as a sort of Bernie-Lite likely to steal more votes from the democrat party than gop-ers -- could cost the democrat party the election and hand it to the gop-ers (in much the same way Ross Perot cost the gop-ers the election in 1992, and how a Trump "Independent" run could cost the gop-ers the election this year).

Put another way: Very few gop-er devotees would vote for this guy, so who would be voting for him? Maybe a lot of Independents, but maybe also a lot of democrat party people.

Finally, thoughts on 8 years of a Bloomberg presidency:  I see Bloomberg paying only campaign lip service to cutting debt and deficits, leaving us with a healthy $25-30 Trillion National Debt at the end of his regime. And as a special added attraction, for 8 years all Americans will get to slurp their sugary soft drinks out of 16-ounce cups. Please do us a favor, and just stay home, old man.


Postscript:  This whole conversation is admittedly quite academic, in all likelihood, since Hilary, despite recent stumbles, remains the odds-on favorite for the democrat party nomination, and it appears there's no chance Bloomberg runs if she's in the fold. I guess that would be one positive of the corrupt, dishonest old ball-and-chain getting her "inevitable" nomination.

Friday, January 22, 2016

This'll Teach Him to Try to Break Out the Hoosegow: Kansas Man Given "128-Year Sentence for Attempted Prison Escape"...

Although actually, an argument could be made that this con (52-year-old Scott Gilbert) got off pretty easy peazy Japaneazy. If he'd been Andy Dufresne, and if he'd been caught after breaking out of the Shawshank in the 1960s, you know there's no way he gets off with just a century and a third of extra time...

Either Cap'n Hadley would've beaten him to death down in the hole, or Warden Norton would've had his head blown off by a tower guard out in the yard. Or, they would've just fed him to The Sisters.

But alas, the times they are a' changin', and this Gilbert should be counting his lucky stars. See ya in 2144, pal.


Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Blue Bite Special: Broad Allegedly "Bit Off Walmart Worker's Finger After Getting Caught Stealing Condoms, Lubricant and Panties"...

...No word yet, however, whether this Carolynn Wright dish at least protected herself first by slipping a condom over the digit before gnawing it off (allegedly).


Friday, January 15, 2016

"Shock" Headline from Drudge This Week:
"[r]epubl*cans Woo Whites"!

Geez, Stop the Press there, Matt.

And further, if you do ever discover that gop-ers are trying to "woo" anyone other than whites, please bury the story and keep it off your website...

That's because if I ever see such a story for the first time in my life, I may fall dead from a heart attack right here on the spot.


Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Easy Targets: "Elementary Students to Stop Reciting God Bless America After ACLU Threatens Legal Action." Why Doesn't the ACLU Ever Go After the Big Boys?

For example: "God Bless America," of course, is routinely performed during Major League Baseball games (sometimes with a big-boobed old lady standing next door), including in the many MLB ballparks that are publicly owned -- where attendees must hear the song, just like at the public school at issue (link below), lest they frantically scurry their way to the protection of the shithouse.

So why do we never hear about the ACLU goin' after that big dog, MLB? The terms hypocrites and chickenshits immediately come to mind, since perhaps the ACLU ain't so interested in hitting targets that would actually have the resources to defend themselves and fight back???

But I gots a suggestion for these apparently highly choosy litigators of the ACLU: Maybe you wouldn't have to fight the MLB ballparks and teams all the way to an all-or-nothing resolution? Maybe seek out some of those squishy "compromise" or "grand bargain" concepts that you leftists and your media are always trumpeting (i.e., give them most all of what they want, and they'll toss any dissenters a few bones)?

Here's my compromising thought for such a bargain: First, the ACLU agrees to permit performance of "God Bless America" at the ballgame, but only on the evening of the first Saturday of every other month (sort of like the Hilary Clinton debate schedule)...

In turn, MLB agrees to replace the song during all other games with a haunting rendition of Simon and Garfunkel's "America" -- a nice little song with nary a single reference to that awful G-Word (even if the song does single out a man wearing a gabardine suit, which ridicule some may find offensive).

So can we broker a deal over here? Have I found some common ground between the the Abner Doubledays and the asshats? Please: Just elect the Rager grand-bargain-striker-in-chief, and do it yesterday.


Friday, January 8, 2016

Twisted Sisters: dnc "Under Pressure to Remove" Chairman Patty "Wasserman" Simpson Amid Dumb Remarks & "Charges of Favoritism" Toward Hilary. But Never Fear, a Replacement Awaits!

No, Patty "Wasserman" Simpson ain't exactly the most popular figure in the ol' democrat party these days. Always prone to making imbecilic, wacko remarks that provide easy fodder for the right-wingers (e.g., this week's statement accusing 20-somethings of "complacency" on the abortion issue), the sour-pussed "Wasserman" Simpson has proved equally adept at abysmal fundraising efforts during her putrid tenure as Chairman of the dnc.

But while the leftists 20 percenters (the kooky fringe, frightening base of the democrat party) might be able to get past such trivial grievances, not so much so when it comes to the Chairman's obvious and rather pathetic efforts to coddle Hilary (no hero to the leftists) right on through to the party's nomination -- from lending no support whatsoever to leftist champion Bernie Sanders, to burying (and thereby protecting) Hilary with a short schedule of only a handful of mostly Saturday and Sunday night party debates.

However, should the party decide to wax "Wasserman" Simpson like so many chain-smoking cult members on a bad episode of "The Leftovers," there's a very perfect replacement right in front of the leftists' little angry faces: Patty's twin sister, Selma "Click" Simpson (pictured immediately above), that is.

Unlike Patty, Selma has already (and very recently) demonstrated her leftist bona fides as a University of Missouri media professor, famously shouting, "I Need Some Muscle Over Here!", as she tried to give the boot to journalists covering student protests in public areas on campus (damn pesky First Amendment!).

To put it bluntly, Selma brings to the table all of the better qualities of her sister (despicable disposition, brooding creativity, etc.), while perhaps making up for -- how shall I put it -- Patty's increasingly thin leftist credentials.

In other words, you gots a potential Star-in-the-making on your hands, democrat party. Whether you use Selma at the dnc, or as Obama's next press secretary, or for some other similarly nefarious purpose, put this crazy broad to work, will ya!


Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Unfair Comparison: I Am Gettin' SICK AND TIRED of Ted Cruz Being Likened to Barry Goldwater...

Sorry, but Goldwater is entirely the wrong right-winger gop-er to compare Cruz to...

A much better comparative piece to Cruz is Joseph McCarthy. Those two gop-er greaseballs could've been separated at birth! If not for the intervening 60 years, that is.

Take a gander below for yourself if you don't believe me.  [Ed. Note: Cruz is the one in the color photo]...


Friday, January 1, 2016


My only question for this hot little Limey number, Rita Ora:

If you're gonna wear duds quite like these down to the beach, then why not do us all a favor and just go topless? What's the point of the freakin' top?!

But you broads always gotta be all cutesy-wutesy and contrarian, don't cha?


Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Dis-A-vowing the A-Word: "Bristol Palin Gives Birth to Her Second Child"...

...So much for the Abstinence thing.

Ya know, some families really should try to practice what they preach...

For the better good of all humanity.


Friday, December 25, 2015

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Life Imitating Literary Horror: "Politically Correct Universities Killing Free Speech," and "Inclusive Terminology Guide at Mizzou Raises Awareness of 'Adultism'"...

...It rather reminds me of a passage from a most depressing book (written almost 70 years ago) that seems to resemble, increasingly, the direction where things are heading this century:

"With those children, he thought, that wretched woman must lead a life of terror. Another year, two years, and they would be watching her night and day for symptoms of unorthodoxy. Nearly all children nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the Spies they were systematically turned into ungovernable little savages, and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party. On the contrary, they adored the Party and everything connected with it. The songs, the processions, the banners, the hiking, the drilling with dummy rifles, the yelling of slogans, the worship of Big Brother -- it was all a sort of glorious game to them. 

All their ferocity was turned outwards, against the enemies of the State, against foreigners, traitors, saboteurs, thought-criminals. It was almost normal for people over thirty to be frightened of their own children. And with good reason, for hardly a week passed in which the Times did not carry a paragraph describing how some eavesdropping little sneak -- 'child hero' was the phrase generally used -- had overheard some compromising remark and denounced his parents to the Thought Police."  [All emphasis added]

And if that ain't a cheerful holiday thought to brighten your Xmas week, then my name ain't Ebenezer.  But never forget, kids: Group-think and authoritarianism, whether they come out of the right or the left, are the incessant enemies of free human beings.


Friday, December 18, 2015

Speech Is Overrated: "Yale Students Sign Petition to Repeal First Amendment." In Related News...

...Midwesterners in droves sign new petition calling for repeal of the Declaration of Independence, enthusiastically offering up Yale and the rest of the east coast back to the British Crown.


Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Just in Time for Xmas: "ISIS 'End of World' Film Shows Final Battle with Crusaders"! But Methinks I'll Instead Take in the New Star Wars Picture This Week...

...I just never seem to be quite in the right mood to watch some good beheadings, maimings, rapes, burnings, tortures, suicide bombings, and world-ending catastrophes until at least January, when the Holidays have passed.

As a result, these radical Islamic extremists, domestic and abroad, can feel free to paint me as one big Scrooge over here, if they please.  Guess I'm guilty as charged, creeps!


Friday, December 11, 2015

Weird News, December Edition: "Michael Vick to Lobby for Law to Protect Animals in Hot Cars." In Similar Bizarro Biddings...

...Donald Trump offers an exception to his immigration ban for any Muslim who agrees to help out with building The Wall at the Mexican border...

And Hilary Clinton calls for harsher sentences for accused rapists who lie under oath.


Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Deaf Star: George Lucas "Says He's Stayed Off Internet for 15 Years!" But There's Really Nothing to See Here...

...After all, a lot of old geezers around 70 struggle to grasp even the most rudimentary basics of modern technology.


Friday, December 4, 2015

No Praying: Leftists, democrat party, & Their Media Now Openly Mock People Who Offer Thoughts and Prayers After Horrific Tragedies, Such as San Bernardino...

Don't you dare pray. Or say pray. Or think pray. Or even bray pray. Because we sure can't have any of that kinda thing, now can we? Just ask American leftist 20 percenters (and the party and media through which they exercise their power) -- links below.

Ya know, for all the deranged, extreme spoutings that routinely come out of the right-wingers, these American leftists really do take the cake: Kooky, loony, and frightening to the last...

I mean, who wants to be around any of these people? Even so, my thoughts and prayers go out to them.


Postscript I noticed the story this afternoon about democrat party House members going to pray at a mosque in Virginia in a "show of solidarity with Muslims" following San Bernardino. But before you level any charges of hypocrisy or inconsistent positions at the ol' leftists, I think it goes without saying that Thursday's admonishment against prayer was clearly intended towards Christian prayer only (and should be accepted as such). In contrast, you wanna chant some Muslim prayers following San Bernardino? More power to ya, baby! [Certainly, boycott or put me out of business in advance, leftists, if I'm misstating your position over here.]

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

As Broads Prepare to Sue Sheen For Not Revealing His HIV, Piers Morgan Says Ease Up on Charlie Because He Ain't as Bad as ISIS!

Say what? (Link below).

Since when does being a smaller lout than a pack of creeps make one any less of a lout?

Morgan's plea would be like me imploring you to take it easy on Obama and W Bush because they're only two of the worst presidents in American history, not serial killers or something!

And while you're at it, give Bill Cosby a break, since it's not like he ever packed his heat into any underaged little numbers!

And why does everyone still condemn Lance Armstrong to this day? Dude only tried to tour de France, not kill it, like so many radical Islamic terrorists recently.

And please do not even get me started on that deranged Missouri media professor who actually makes Sheen appear, by comparison, somewhat competent to stand trial (if it comes to that).

So give this slimeball Sheen a pass, begs Piers Morgan. And I may still do that, leastways just as soon as medical science gives a pass to those unwittingly infected by Mr. Winning's cream of wheat (allegedly).


Thursday, November 26, 2015

Country Down the Crapper: "1.1 Million Americans Don't Have a Toilet." So OK, I'll Give Some Thanks on This Day of Pilgrims & Indians...

For starters, I guess I should feel thankful for having a working shithouse at my joint. Oh Thank You, Dear Leader in the White House, for still permitting some of us to have these sorts of water-wasting luxuries which we don't absolutely need (when ya really think about it, right?).

I'm also thankful to presently have a job during a time when a record number of Americans do not have jobs in this thing (21st Century monstrosity) referred to as Obama's and W's America. Just think "Progress," people!

And I'm thankful that for now I still have my First Amendment right to tell leftists and right-wingers exactly where the hell they can go with their group-thinking, intolerant, boring (Y-A-W-N) dumb asses. But how long until my dissent becomes just a bit too "offensive" to tolerate for so many of these loony fringe inhabitants of the left and right? We're never more than about one Supreme Court decision away, I've grown to say.

But until then, I'm just gonna stay right here and keep talkin', shittin', eatin', drinkin', and having a good time, as usual. Rager never goes away, you see. He just sleeps it off.


Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Campus "Protests May Move From College Campuses to Ballot Boxes," Happily Chirps Leftist Kansas City Star: So No More Hiding the Motive and End Game!

See, the leftist 20 percenters and their democrat party have a little problem in 2016: Their candidate, Hilary Clinton, is really really really old, and really really really white, and as a result is not likely to turn out nearly as much of the 20-something-moron or black vote in next year's election as His Majesty King Nothing turned out at historic rates in his two coronations...

If the drop-off in turnout is too drastic, it just might threaten the leftists' hold on the presidency and bureaucracy -- i.e. Their Everything these days since they've been pissing away state and federal legislative seats the last 8 years like a gutter wino around 6:00 a.m.

But what better way for democrat party minions to gin up the turnout than choreographing widespread, Astroturf, faux movements led by student lapdogs across the country and made to seem "mainstream," rather than radical fringe, by the leftists' adoring and fawning national media?

But alas, before I cast too many stones at the nation's yutes, I must proffer this question: Good Grief, was I also this stupid, group-thinking, and gullible when I was a 20-something?

Actually, I'd prefer not to answer that question. I will say that slimeball Bill Clinton owes me (and plenty of others) an apology from '92, and never forget this, kids: You remain a lackey to these creeps going forward (on both political extremes) only if you allow it. Unlike the leftists, and their fair share of the right-winger gop-ers, I believe that you're much better than that.