Tuesday, December 1, 2015

As Broads Prepare to Sue Sheen For Not Revealing His HIV, Piers Morgan Says Ease Up on Charlie Because He Ain't as Bad as ISIS!

Say what? (Link below).

Since when does being a smaller lout than a pack of creeps make one any less of a lout?

Morgan's plea would be like me imploring you to take it easy on Obama and W Bush because they're only two of the worst presidents in American history, not serial killers or something!

And while you're at it, give Bill Cosby a break, since it's not like he ever packed his heat into any underaged little numbers!

And why does everyone still condemn Lance Armstrong to this day? Dude only tried to tour de France, not kill it, like so many radical Islamic terrorists recently.

And please do not even get me started on that deranged Missouri media professor who actually makes Sheen appear, by comparison, somewhat competent to stand trial (if it comes to that).

So give this slimeball Sheen a pass, begs Piers Morgan. And I may still do that, leastways just as soon as medical science gives a pass to those unwittingly infected by Mr. Winning's cream of wheat (allegedly).


Thursday, November 26, 2015

Country Down the Crapper: "1.1 Million Americans Don't Have a Toilet." So OK, I'll Give Some Thanks on This Day of Pilgrims & Indians...

For starters, I guess I should feel thankful for having a working shithouse at my joint. Oh Thank You, Dear Leader in the White House, for still permitting some of us to have these sorts of water-wasting luxuries which we don't absolutely need (when ya really think about it, right?).

I'm also thankful to presently have a job during a time when a record number of Americans do not have jobs in this thing (21st Century monstrosity) referred to as Obama's and W's America. Just think "Progress," people!

And I'm thankful that for now I still have my First Amendment right to tell tell leftists and right-wingers exactly where the hell they can go with their group-thinking, intolerant, boring (Y-A-W-N) dumb asses. But how long until my dissent becomes just a bit too "offensive" to tolerate for so many of these loony fringe inhabitants of the left and right? We're never more than about one Supreme Court decision away, I've grown to say.

But until then, I'm just gonna stay right here and keep talkin', shittin', eatin', drinkin', and having a good time, as usual. Rager never goes away, you see. He just sleeps it off.


Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Campus "Protests May Move From College Campuses to Ballot Boxes," Happily Chirps Leftist Kansas City Star: So No More Hiding the Motive and End Game!

See, the leftist 20 percenters and their democrat party have a little problem in 2016: Their candidate, Hilary Clinton, is really really really old, and really really really white, and as a result is not likely to turn out nearly as much of the 20-something-moron or black vote in next year's election as His Majesty King Nothing turned out at historic rates in his two coronations...

If the drop-off in turnout is too drastic, it just might threaten the leftists' hold on the presidency and bureaucracy -- i.e. Their Everything these days since they've been pissing away state and federal legislative seats the last 8 years like a gutter wino around 6:00 a.m.

But what better way for democrat party minions to gin up the turnout than choreographing widespread, Astroturf, faux movements led by student lapdogs across the country and made to seem "mainstream," rather than radical fringe, by the leftists' adoring and fawning national media?

But alas, before I cast too many stones at the nation's yutes, I must proffer this question: Good Grief, was I also this stupid, group-thinking, and gullible when I was a 20-something?

Actually, I'd prefer not to answer that question. I will say that slimeball Bill Clinton owes me (and plenty of others) an apology from '92, and never forget this, kids: You remain a lackey to these creeps going forward (on both political extremes) only if you allow it. Unlike the leftists, and their fair share of the right-winger gop-ers, I believe that you're much better than that.


Thursday, November 19, 2015

Crapping on Their Own: Leftist "Princeton Students Take Over President's Office, Demand Erasure of Woodrow Wilson"!

Sometimes I think these leftist 20 percenters just need to make up their minds, or at least take a history course, or probably better yet just have their brains examined by a professional...

Sure, Woodrow Wilson (a democrat party man) was probably the most racist president the country has ever seen. But C'Mon! Since when does conviction (or slimy attributes, for that matter) ever get in the way of leftists supporting any person with the correct letter next to his name?

Moreover, Woody was also the most left-wing president not named Obama in the nation's history -- a sort of father to the modern disingenuous, hypocritical, group-thinking, unenlightened, loony leftist movement.

I mean, this guy should be some kind of iconic hero to these radical black-livers and their fellow leftist goofs all across the country!

Instead, look at what they're doing: Shitting all over the man's legacy!

What's next from these freaks? Demand Franklin Roosevelt (the third most leftist president ever, and another democrat) be taken off the dime since he presided over a segregated military in World War II? (I do love giving these leftists ideas over here).

You should learn and know the historical hands that feed you, leftists, rather than biting them off! Because Lord knows there ain't too many Woody's or Frankie's out there from our centrist American past. Dumbasses.


Postscript:  Nailed It!

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Hey Kids: Adapting to the Situation Is One of Life's Greatest Skills -- Just Look at This Guy...

He's 26-year-old cosmetologist James Williams (from across the pond in Wales), and he's become a bit of an autumn Internet sensation for getting down on the floor to cut the hair of an autistic boy who was too frightened to sit in the barber's chair (link below).

Williams' improv is a heck of an example of doing what it takes to get the job done no matter how difficult the circumstances. What a great life lesson.

But kids: Never lay down on a public floor unless it becomes necessary.


Friday, November 13, 2015

As Fall Skies Turn Hazy Shade of Winter in Midwest, I'm Going Australia Dreaming, & Mama Cass Ain't Invited...

...That old broad wouldn't be able to make it, anyway, ever since she failed to negotiate that ham sandwich.

Regardless, that be Ms. Blake Lively above, along with her two buoyant beach buoys and sandy asscot.

I'd go skippin' for pissclams down to the beach with this hot little number any damn time. Ahoy yee salty mariners and behold me lively catch!


Tuesday, November 10, 2015

"I Need Some Muscle Over Here!" Missouri MEDIA Professor Tries to Boot MEDIA From Covering Student Protests on Campus!

You know that spot on my resume that says "University of Missouri"? The J-School and all?

Well, can I get that redacted or something?

Or at least obscured in some meaningful way?

Or maybe just abbreviate it to "University of Miss."?

Then the worst that some will think of me is merely that I hail from Mississippi.

There are worst things than that, after all. Like being associated with having a media-related degree from the University of Missouri these days.


Friday, November 6, 2015

Demented Days: "Man Camps Out for Black Friday 33 Days Early," While "Nearly a Third of College Students Describe 1st Amendment as 'Outdated,'" Too Permissive of Free Speech...

No word yet whether the nation's bright young college students will call for this patient shopping camper to be imprisoned for supporting a date emanating from offensive hate speech. (What, no crackers ever go shopping on the day after thanksgiving?!?)

But I do implore you, you wonderfully enlightened younger generation, you -- at least allow this poor shopper to wait and get his big screen TV before you set out to ruin his life. He, like you, deserves his fair share of being able to behave like a moron, too, no?


Monday, November 2, 2015


I've never seen a team as resilient and mentally tough as this one, and I've been watchin' this stuff for over four decades.  No Outs to Go, and a Team for the Ages!


Friday, October 30, 2015

Don't Make Book: Right-Winger Slimeball Newt Gingrich Gives "One to Three" Odds Hilary Clinton Will Be Indicted! Highly Wishful Thinking...

Fortunately for all of you, I'm a much better handicapper than fat old deranged right-wingers.  Hilary ain't gettin' indicted over anything, I gots news for ya all. It's a 100-1 shot, and 1's about to get locked in Vince Foster's mausoleum. "One to Three" when the democrat party controls the executive branch and bureaucracy?!? Are ya freakin' kidding me over here?! Why the freak do you think Dizzy Biden wanted no part of runnin'?

But if Sleazerich is such a fan of betting propositions, I have one he can try on for his big plus size: There's a 75% chance Hilary is the next president. (This is today's prediction, of course, and it's subject to "evolving" as days pass like so many Hilary and King Nothing positions on gay marriage).

Why 75% chance, Rager, you may ask?  Ans: Because while the gop-er field may be stronger than 2012, that ain't exactly saying much, and I don't see anyone in the current field strong enough to overcome the sizable demographic advantage the leftist party has in national elections these days. There's a reason why the gop-ers have won only one popular vote in a presidential election since 1988, folks.

I could go on, but you get the gist; besides, methinks me has a few bets to get down, come to think of it. And I heard that I might find my bookie down to the student union playing cards here in a few. I gotta catch him in person, don't'cha know, since he ain't much for talkin' on phones.


Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Biff the Lout from the "Back to the Future" Films Was Based on Donald Trump? So Says the Films' Writer, and Indeed Many Politicians Have Inspired Fictional & Real-Life Characters & Places...

The Biff/Trump connection doesn't seem like so much of a stretch to me. And certainly no more so than the Hilary Clinton/Nurse Ratched comparison that the right-wingers enjoy conjuring up (also to my amusement).

But what about all the other political slimeballs this election season? They deserve equal time and equal treatment as well, lest they not receive their fair share of attention, as King Nothing in the White House might say.  So here goes:

- Ben Carson: Had to have inspired the "low talker" character on the old "Seinfeld" episode. I've little doubt Carson gets away with spouting his share of deranged right-winger platitudes because no one can make out so well what the hell he just said.

- Bernie Sanders: The grumpy old rumpled-suited Sanders clearly influenced the creation of Larry David's exaggerated self-character on "Curb Your Enthusiasm," not to mention A.A. Milne's Eeyore-the-jackass character from the "Winnie the Pooh" series. I'd personally rather back Piglet for President.

- Marco Rubio: National landmark Niagara Falls was obviously conceived with Rubio in mind, what with its constant perspiration of thousands of cubic feet of liquid per minute, as well as its sourcing for countless refreshing bottled water products nationwide.

- Carly Fiorina: Reminds me a little too much of Demi Moore's bosslady cougar character from the film "Disclosure." Only difference being: That Demi broad can feel free to hit on me any damn time. Carly just needs to keep her paws to herself.

- Joe Biden (even if he ain't runnin'): Serves as a constant inspiration for feeble-minded, onset-dementia peoples everywhere -- even for dead ones like Ronald Reagan.

- His Majesty King Nothing himself: I thought Barry was almost assuredly the basis for the eavesdropping school principal character who later turned into a zombie on the recent season of "Fear the Walking Dead." At least Principal Artie (played by Scott Lawrence) exhibited mostly lucid intervals of humanity prior to becoming a full-fledged ghoul.


Thursday, October 22, 2015

Holy Coffin Nails: This Broad & Two Other Ruskie Nicotine Fiends Admit to Robbing a Grave So They Can Get Their Smoke On After Boiling the Stiff's Head to Use as an Ashtray!

For good measure, this tobacco-tokin' threesome also hacked off the dead body's fingers for use as "fortune-telling runes"!

Apparently the authorities over in Russia frown upon this sort of thing.

But not overly much:  These three graveyard goofs won't even have to go cold turkey in the local hoosegow, since they've been set free on suspended sentences.

Relatives of the stiff, however, ain't being quite so lenient, hitting the tombstone trio with a 900,000-rouble (about 15,000 bucks) compensation claim.

Which may make that souped up skull the most expensive fag tray of the modern era.

Next time try hitting the corner smokes store or the Dollar Tree, you zany cancer sticks pricks, ya! I'm bettin' 5-10 bucks will have ya rolling in more ashtrays than a Stalin purge.


Friday, October 16, 2015

So THIS Is What Lamar Odom Was Tryin' to Hit In That Nevada Ho House?

This guy couldn't do any better than THIS?! And now he's lying in a hospital and could die over THIS?!

Talk about some S-L-I-M Pickens! Good Grief.


Tuesday, October 13, 2015

CNN Changes Debate Questioning Approach & Debate Length to Make Things Easier on democrat party Candidates Tonight! As a Result, I Won't Be Wasting My Time Watching...

I had planned to watch tonight's democrat party debate and weigh in with the same "Up" or "Down" votes for each candidate as I've done for each of the first two gop-er party debate spectacles.  But then CNN (even for a left-biased "news" outlet) completely insulted my intelligence over here. And now I'm out.  To wit:

1. After 3 hours last month of grilling gop-er party candidates with questions calculated to get the candidates fighting and arguing amongst themselves, CNN announced this week it won't take that approach with the democrat party.  Rather, the democrat party candidates will be handled with kid gloves and softballs, as CNN says it won't use any questioning that "pits" democrat party candidates "against each other." How completely pathetic. Hypocritical lackeys.

2. Adding insult to injury, CNN won't make the democrat party candidates endure the same exhaustingly long 3-hour format that CNN imposed on the gop-ers. CNN announced this debate will only be 2 hours. (This change I actually predicted back in September, since the democrat party field is ancient, with stale old candidates who may be lucky to go even 2 hours without falling asleep at the podium).

I could've stomached the time reduction (hell, I predicted it), but not the astonishingly biased resort of making the questioning easier for the democrat party candidates. So I won't be watching. And I have a sneaking suspicion not too many other people are going to be watching either. Have fun with your continued irrelevance, CNN.


Friday, October 9, 2015

Another Day, Another Installment of Bums Gone Wild: "Homeless Man Chases Girl at Bus Stop"...

If this was typically a crowded bus for the time of day, maybe this hobo was just trying to ensure he'd get a spot? Who are we to judge what this tramp's motivations might have been?

Regardless, cops say they're all over it. They vow to "remain in the neighborhood until he [the hobo] is caught."

But that begs the question: Isn't this vagrant, by his very nature (ya know, homeless and stuff), not wed to any particular neighborhood, let alone this one?

This loafer could've already hopped a train for Jersey for all we know. Or more likely a bus, as the case may be.


Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Braless Dakota Fanning, Michelle Dockery & Pixie Lott! Braless Is Truly Beautiful...

...So why can't the American leftist 20 percenters ever try to end the bra industry like they target so many other slivers of the private sector? Bras burn with just as rotten a smell as coal, after all! 

No More Bras = A Possible Rager Vote for a democrat party Which I Will Otherwise Never Vote For Again.

And I ain't even 75 years old yet.  Meaning, you need all the voters like me you can get, democrat party, Golden Girls (Hilary, Bernie, & Joe).

So lets ordain those threads off them tatas, leftists!

I'll even entertain and support a topical executive order from you louts and your mentally challenged O Messiah.


Friday, October 2, 2015

Low-Energy Loser: "Jeb Bush Sees Himself as the John McCain of 2016." No Wonder the democrat party Wants Bush to Be the gop-er Nominee!

Not only is "Jeb" Bush an energy-challenged, mealy-mouthed, stand-not-for-much, aging old relic of an awful American political dynasty. Nope. Now I think you have to add to that description the word "Idiot" -- same as brother W!

Because only a bona fide moron would try to compare himself to and emulate the 2008 presidential campaign of Tired Old Man John McCain.

McCain was one of the absolute worst nominees for president that I've seen in my lifetime, right up there with the inept likes of Fritz Mondale and Eyebrows Dukakis.

I mean, Farmer Brown's jackass from the spread down the road could've beaten McCain and his weak-ass campaign in 2008 (unfortunately for all of us, the leftists instead nominated the jackass we currently have as a president, although I digress).

But at least if Bush ends up getting the gop-er nomination (which I see as a long-shot as this point), his Tired Old Man act will have plenty of company from the democrat party nominee -- which is assured to be one of the three Golden Girls (Hilary, Bernie, or Joe) from the classic age of television. (And, BTW, Trump's just as ancient).

To which subject, I've today had an epiphany: Forget term limits; we need to impose some age limits on these two rotten, corrupt political parties.

This ain't so unreasonable in 2015, is it? If you were born in the Big Band Era, then go celebrate that era in the nursing home or hospice or something, and leave presidential politics the hell alone.

And if you would have to gum your state dinner, then please do your gummin' out in a pasture somewhere, sans the White House. Don't worry, you won't be lonely -- Farmer Brown's gotta a great companion for ya, right out there in the same field.


Friday, September 25, 2015

Ben Breaks Even Badder After His Muslim Statements, Says "Big Bang Is a 'Fairy Tale' & Darwin's Evolution Theory Is Work of Devil"! But Is There Really Anything to See Here?

So Ben's a little old fashioned?

Is that really worth a Federal Case?

Name one bad thing that ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot?

But to get down to ass tacks, and for the record, I could never vote for Ben, even if he was to sport Charles Darwin White-Bearded-Face at the next debate while working in a "survival of the fittest" reference every third sentence...

Dude's a devout right-winger, and as about my cup of tea as any of the Geritol-poppin' ancient candidates of the tired old democrat party.

But I do like Ben and am thoroughly enjoying how he's currently driving the leftist 20 percenters nuts, not to mention their lackey "mainstream" media acolytes...

And it's not because Ben's the best looking and best dressed candidate in the gop-er party field, either (which, as I've observed before, ain't saying much).

Rather, I enjoy watching Ben play because he represents everything that the leftists loathe to the highest degree...

In short, Ben ain't conforming with the leftists' black person monolith.

Ben, as a black man, is SUPPOSED to be either a leftist group-thinker or, at the very least, an enthusiastic devotee and voter for the current leftist incarnation of the democrat party.

And I struggle to think of a human being that American leftists hate more than a minority member or female who breaks the monolithic mold that bedrocks the leftist world view...

Indeed, in my experience, the leftists see their chief enemies in this world (forget Islamic State, Iran, Al Qaeda, etc.) in THIS order: 

Third, American Independents such as myself who refuse to ever vote for them;

Second, American gop-er party members who will never vote for them; and

FIRST, American minority members like Ben who go off the democrat party reservation, buck the monolith, think for themselves, and just refuse to *** damn act like they're supposed to (like good little minority voters).

So God Bless Ya, Ben Carson.  I won't be votin' for ya, but we sure as hell could use a lot more of ya, truth be told. You ain't supposed to be actin' like this, man!


Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Grace Jones: "I'm 5000 Years Old!" This Is BIG...

...Because methinks the democrat party might now have another presidential candidate up its sleeve!


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Second (& MARATHON) gop-er Debate: Who's UP, DOWN, or Exactly the SAME From the First Go-Around? And Ponder This: Can Any of You See a Fiorina/Carson Ticket?...

-Donald Trump: DOWN.  First, I'll answer the question none of these candidates would answer: I for one "would not feel comfortable with Trump's finger on the nuclear button." But I've already said I ain't votin' for this crazy circus performer, even if he does often make me laugh. As for tonight's performance: Not so funny.

-Carly Fiorina: UP.  Presents well, and looks and talks fairly presidential. Her critique of the gruesome Planned Parenthood videos was easily the best and most effective passage of the night. And she handled well her retort to Trump's recent first grader comments about her appearance, as well as Trump's other attempted salvos tonight. This definitely seems like a candidacy on the rise.

-Ben Carson: UP.  Not only the best looking person in this debate (as in the first), but also the best dressed in the joint! He had me at hello tonight, even if the moderators (just like the first debate) seemed to hardly ever call on him.

-John Kasich: DOWN.  I thought Kasich wasn't nearly as on as he was in the first debate (maybe he just ain't so good outside of Ohio?). And saying that as president he may not touch Obama's terrible Iran deal sure as hell ain't gonna improve his current down lot in the polls.

-"Jeb" Bush: DOWN.  "I Am Not a Puppet!" Thanks for clarifying, Tricky Dick. More resembled his idiot brother tonight, stuttering and stammering around like a skid row wino. And, like some sort of Obama-style wimp, he repeatedly allowed Trump to interrupt him. Can we just put the Bush Dynasty (and its Clinton Twin, for that matter) out to pasture already?

-Marco Rubio: UP.  I liked his poking fun at his previous, notorious Water Bottle Speech as well as his granddaddy story, how he held his water (pun intended) against Trump, and (inexplicably) being the ONLY candidate to raise the repulsive $18 Trillion Obama/W Bush National Debt. Also seemed to get stronger as this grotesquely long debate got even longer, showing a better stamina than most or all of the others.

-Rand Paul: DOWN.  I didn't think it possible -- his hair actually looked worse tonight than in the first debate!  This guy's gotta go from the main debate stage next time around. He has J-V written all over his beaver pelt melon.

-Scott Walker: SAME.  An unlikely character to get in Trump's face tonight, and I thought he held his own. But otherwise bored the living hell out of me.

-Chris Christie: UP.  Came across as personable and in control, for the most part, rather than as the hothead that is his stereotype. And he was the only candidate that I heard invoking in any way the plight of the American worker during the Obama years (even if he missed, at the same time, the opportunity to specifically raise the dreadful household income and wage stagnation of those same Obama years).

-Ted Cruz: SAME.  Same ol' Slick Willy with a Joe McCarthy mask on.  Still unelectable.

-Mike Huckabee: DOWN.  Boot this fat old has-been from the stage at the same time that Paul gets the axe.

-Finally, the ENTIRE gop-er FIELD: DOWN.  I thought tonight was, mostly, a real snoozer (even before CNN carried it into its third excruciating hour). Very few "Yeah!" and "Damn right!" moments. And not a ton of bona fide entertainment. Yawn. And why not even one of these candidates would say moderator-be-damned and talk about today's "news" (already known) that American workers have not gotten a raise during the Obama years, I have no clue. That's red meat for every American out there who is not named "leftist 20 percenter"...

Instead, these candidates accepted -- hook, line, and sinker -- Tapper/CNN's incessant questions from the left-wing agenda (pot legalization, vaccinations, Trump insults, and "anchor babies" -- REALLY?), which were mostly aimed at getting the candidates to fight each other rather than addressing the leftists louts who've been running amok in America for 7 long years now. Always ones to play by the imposed rules, these gop-ers. And that is one of the principal reasons why they fail.

[Postscript:  Anyone think that any of the few democrat party debates that the cowardly Hilary The Hoary will participate in will go on for 3 freakin' hours, like tonight's endless event? Nope. Hell, all 3 of the Golden Girls (Hilary, Bernie and Joe -- sounds like a bad late-60s folk song) would be fast asleep, like Reagan or something, at around the 90 minute mark!!].

Tuesday, September 15, 2015


...Or, sans cake, I assume a tortilla shell, 3-tater-tot, bacon bits Michelle ObamaMeal will do just fine, no?