Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Braless Dakota Fanning, Michelle Dockery & Pixie Lott! Braless Is Truly Beautiful...

...So why can't the American leftist 20 percenters ever try to end the bra industry like they target so many other slivers of the private sector? Bras burn with just as rotten a smell as coal, after all! 

No More Bras = A Possible Rager Vote for a democrat party Which I Will Otherwise Never Vote For Again.

And I ain't even 75 years old yet.  Meaning, you need all the voters like me you can get, democrat party, Golden Girls (Hilary, Bernie, & Joe).

So lets ordain those threads off them tatas, leftists!

I'll even entertain and support a topical executive order from you louts and your mentally challenged O Messiah.


Friday, October 2, 2015

Low-Energy Loser: "Jeb Bush Sees Himself as the John McCain of 2016." No Wonder the democrat party Wants Bush to Be the gop-er Nominee!

Not only is "Jeb" Bush an energy-challenged, mealy-mouthed, stand-not-for-much, aging old relic of an awful American political dynasty. Nope. Now I think you have to add to that description the word "Idiot" -- same as brother W!

Because only a bona fide moron would try to compare himself to and emulate the 2008 presidential campaign of Tired Old Man John McCain.

McCain was one of the absolute worst nominees for president that I've seen in my lifetime, right up there with the inept likes of Fritz Mondale and Eyebrows Dukakis.

I mean, Farmer Brown's jackass from the spread down the road could've beaten McCain and his weak-ass campaign in 2008 (unfortunately for all of us, the leftists instead nominated the jackass we currently have as a president, although I digress).

But at least if Bush ends up getting the gop-er nomination (which I see as a long-shot as this point), his Tired Old Man act will have plenty of company from the democrat party nominee -- which is assured to be one of the three Golden Girls (Hilary, Bernie, or Joe) from the classic age of television. (And, BTW, Trump's just as ancient).

To which subject, I've today had an epiphany: Forget term limits; we need to impose some age limits on these two rotten, corrupt political parties.

This ain't so unreasonable in 2015, is it? If you were born in the Big Band Era, then go celebrate that era in the nursing home or hospice or something, and leave presidential politics the hell alone.

And if you would have to gum your state dinner, then please do your gummin' out in a pasture somewhere, sans the White House. Don't worry, you won't be lonely -- Farmer Brown's gotta a great companion for ya, right out there in the same field.


Friday, September 25, 2015

Ben Breaks Even Badder After His Muslim Statements, Says "Big Bang Is a 'Fairy Tale' & Darwin's Evolution Theory Is Work of Devil"! But Is There Really Anything to See Here?

So Ben's a little old fashioned?

Is that really worth a Federal Case?

Name one bad thing that ever happened at a Best Buy parking lot?

But to get down to ass tacks, and for the record, I could never vote for Ben, even if he was to sport Charles Darwin White-Bearded-Face at the next debate while working in a "survival of the fittest" reference every third sentence...

Dude's a devout right-winger, and as about my cup of tea as any of the Geritol-poppin' ancient candidates of the tired old democrat party.

But I do like Ben and am thoroughly enjoying how he's currently driving the leftist 20 percenters nuts, not to mention their lackey "mainstream" media acolytes...

And it's not because Ben's the best looking and best dressed candidate in the gop-er party field, either (which, as I've observed before, ain't saying much).

Rather, I enjoy watching Ben play because he represents everything that the leftists loathe to the highest degree...

In short, Ben ain't conforming with the leftists' black person monolith.

Ben, as a black man, is SUPPOSED to be either a leftist group-thinker or, at the very least, an enthusiastic devotee and voter for the current leftist incarnation of the democrat party.

And I struggle to think of a human being that American leftists hate more than a minority member or female who breaks the monolithic mold that bedrocks the leftist world view...

Indeed, in my experience, the leftists see their chief enemies in this world (forget Islamic State, Iran, Al Qaeda, etc.) in THIS order: 

Third, American Independents such as myself who refuse to ever vote for them;

Second, American gop-er party members who will never vote for them; and

FIRST, American minority members like Ben who go off the democrat party reservation, buck the monolith, think for themselves, and just refuse to *** damn act like they're supposed to (like good little minority voters).

So God Bless Ya, Ben Carson.  I won't be votin' for ya, but we sure as hell could use a lot more of ya, truth be told. You ain't supposed to be actin' like this, man!


Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Grace Jones: "I'm 5000 Years Old!" This Is BIG...

...Because methinks the democrat party might now have another presidential candidate up its sleeve!


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Second (& MARATHON) gop-er Debate: Who's UP, DOWN, or Exactly the SAME From the First Go-Around? And Ponder This: Can Any of You See a Fiorina/Carson Ticket?...

-Donald Trump: DOWN.  First, I'll answer the question none of these candidates would answer: I for one "would not feel comfortable with Trump's finger on the nuclear button." But I've already said I ain't votin' for this crazy circus performer, even if he does often make me laugh. As for tonight's performance: Not so funny.

-Carly Fiorina: UP.  Presents well, and looks and talks fairly presidential. Her critique of the gruesome Planned Parenthood videos was easily the best and most effective passage of the night. And she handled well her retort to Trump's recent first grader comments about her appearance, as well as Trump's other attempted salvos tonight. This definitely seems like a candidacy on the rise.

-Ben Carson: UP.  Not only the best looking person in this debate (as in the first), but also the best dressed in the joint! He had me at hello tonight, even if the moderators (just like the first debate) seemed to hardly ever call on him.

-John Kasich: DOWN.  I thought Kasich wasn't nearly as on as he was in the first debate (maybe he just ain't so good outside of Ohio?). And saying that as president he may not touch Obama's terrible Iran deal sure as hell ain't gonna improve his current down lot in the polls.

-"Jeb" Bush: DOWN.  "I Am Not a Puppet!" Thanks for clarifying, Tricky Dick. More resembled his idiot brother tonight, stuttering and stammering around like a skid row wino. And, like some sort of Obama-style wimp, he repeatedly allowed Trump to interrupt him. Can we just put the Bush Dynasty (and its Clinton Twin, for that matter) out to pasture already?

-Marco Rubio: UP.  I liked his poking fun at his previous, notorious Water Bottle Speech as well as his granddaddy story, how he held his water (pun intended) against Trump, and (inexplicably) being the ONLY candidate to raise the repulsive $18 Trillion Obama/W Bush National Debt. Also seemed to get stronger as this grotesquely long debate got even longer, showing a better stamina than most or all of the others.

-Rand Paul: DOWN.  I didn't think it possible -- his hair actually looked worse tonight than in the first debate!  This guy's gotta go from the main debate stage next time around. He has J-V written all over his beaver pelt melon.

-Scott Walker: SAME.  An unlikely character to get in Trump's face tonight, and I thought he held his own. But otherwise bored the living hell out of me.

-Chris Christie: UP.  Came across as personable and in control, for the most part, rather than as the hothead that is his stereotype. And he was the only candidate that I heard invoking in any way the plight of the American worker during the Obama years (even if he missed, at the same time, the opportunity to specifically raise the dreadful household income and wage stagnation of those same Obama years).

-Ted Cruz: SAME.  Same ol' Slick Willy with a Joe McCarthy mask on.  Still unelectable.

-Mike Huckabee: DOWN.  Boot this fat old has-been from the stage at the same time that Paul gets the axe.

-Finally, the ENTIRE gop-er FIELD: DOWN.  I thought tonight was, mostly, a real snoozer (even before CNN carried it into its third excruciating hour). Very few "Yeah!" and "Damn right!" moments. And not a ton of bona fide entertainment. Yawn. And why not even one of these candidates would say moderator-be-damned and talk about today's "news" (already known) that American workers have not gotten a raise during the Obama years, I have no clue. That's red meat for every American out there who is not named "leftist 20 percenter"...

Instead, these candidates accepted -- hook, line, and sinker -- Tapper/CNN's incessant questions from the left-wing agenda (pot legalization, vaccinations, Trump insults, and "anchor babies" -- REALLY?), which were mostly aimed at getting the candidates to fight each other rather than addressing the leftists louts who've been running amok in America for 7 long years now. Always ones to play by the imposed rules, these gop-ers. And that is one of the principal reasons why they fail.

[Postscript:  Anyone think that any of the few democrat party debates that the cowardly Hilary The Hoary will participate in will go on for 3 freakin' hours, like tonight's endless event? Nope. Hell, all 3 of the Golden Girls (Hilary, Bernie and Joe -- sounds like a bad late-60s folk song) would be fast asleep, like Reagan or something, at around the 90 minute mark!!].

Tuesday, September 15, 2015


...Or, sans cake, I assume a tortilla shell, 3-tater-tot, bacon bits Michelle ObamaMeal will do just fine, no?


Friday, September 11, 2015

Washington Post Hack: "The Amazing Honesty of Joe Biden!" But That Ain't Honesty You're Smellin' There, Numbnut...

...Rather it's the feel, taste, and diagnostic certitude of at least Stage One Alzeimer's.

But there he is, Biden -- Dan Quayle's Daddy, and the new Great (and REALLY Old) White Hope of the democrat party for 2016!

I swear that if these leftist 20 percenters next conjure up a death bed Jimmy Carter to garner the "D next to his name" vote in 2016, I'm gonna be clamoring for the good ol' harmless days when Teddy Kennedy forgot why he wanted to be President, but at least exhibited a basement-level literacy level somewhere under the age of 72.


Monday, September 7, 2015

Labor Day Lunacy: Hilary Losing by 9% to Bernie in N.H. & by 5% in General Matchup with Trump, Who (BTW) Is Getting 25% of the Black Vote! Can Hilary the Hoary Right the Ship?

Hilary may truly need a Hail Mary very soon to save her foundering candidacy. Since I think a sudden jaunt into granny porn is out (Hilary ain't no Sarah Palin, let's face it), methinks some real outside-the-pantsuit thinking will be required. A few quick ideas:

- Since Hilary really needs to shore up that black vote (I doubt any gop-er has won 25% of the black vote since Bell conceived the telephone), she needs to announce NOW that the first black president of the U.S. -- i.e. Hilary's old man Bill -- will be her V.P. running mate. Not to mention, I can't imagine any other running mate who would actually be considered a bigger slimeball than Hilary herself. She'd shine in comparison!

- Hilary should also consider making no further campaign appearances for at least 6 to 9 months. Talk about a drab, dry personality that's about as connecting and warm as a Mount McKinley ice cap. She does herself no favors going in front of cameras. So just don't do it anymore! It sure as hell can't hurt.

- Hilary should use that time away from things to engage in some hijinks to soften her image. I'm thinking of a YouTube channel in which Hilary stars in a new madcap skit every week or two. The first one could be entitled, "Server? I Need an Assistant to Wipe My Own Ass With Like a Cloth or Something!"

- Speaking of whom, top Hilary flunky Huma's Weiner (pictured above) needs to be more front and center in the campaign. That broad has a great body, and I'd always prefer to see and hear from Ms. Weiner instead of the Hoary One. Let's get Huma in a bikini and Hilary in a cave, I say, and you just watch this campaign get right back on track!

[Postscript: I still can't believe I dish out this kind of Grade-A campaign and political advice to these sleazewad politicians free of charge. I do hope these louts realize that my charity does have its limits over here.]


Friday, September 4, 2015

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Denali Distraction: I For One Welcome Obama's Focus on Renaming Mountains and Running Wild on Reality TV Shows in Alaska...

...If these things are the kinds of foolishness with which Obama is going to consume his presidential time over the next 17 months, His Majesty is doing us all one heck of a favor.

Hell, let's sprinkle in even more vacation and golf course time while you're at it there, King Nothing!

But alas, never fear: I'm sure he'll go right back to wrecking the country and giving America its just comeuppance as soon as Alaska's in the rear-view in a few days...

Plenty of time for sleepin', after all, when he's out of office and fully entrenched in D.C. as the most obnoxious ex-president the country's ever seen before.


Thursday, August 27, 2015

Murderer of Reporter In Virginia Was "Censured [By His TV Station] for Wearing Obama Sticker While 'Reporting' on Election Day": But Why Such a Harsh Indictment For that Offense?

As Jorge Ramos would proclaim, "We have a right to act however the hell we see fit as shill, activist, advocate, flunky ideologues who call ourselves journalists!"

Maybe next the Supreme Court can write that one into the 14th Amendment too? Any means that it takes, after all, to get to those desired leftist 20 percenter ends, no?


Tuesday, August 25, 2015

As Mentally Challenged Joe Biden Inches Towards Presidential Run, It's Easy to See Why democrat party Prides Itself on Being the Party of "progress"...

What we're dealing with here, after all, is truly groundbreaking...

1. Biden gives the democrat party a great shot of putting up perhaps the most dimwitted presidential candidate in American history not named W, not to mention the most dementia-drenched dupe not named Reagan. Moreover:

2. The democrat party would also be fielding (I gotta think) the most ancient field of presidential candidates in American history, with Biden's entry boosting the average age of the front-running democrat party candidates (including Hilary the Hoary and and Bernie B. Old) to a hip, cool, smooth old age of 72 on Election Day -- no small feat given that no one in American history has ever been elected president for the first time in his 70s.

Now if all this shit ain't exactly your "progress!" cup of tea, you still sure as hell can't claim it's not, at the very least, astoundingly historical.

We'd then only need Elizabeth Warren as the VP selection to round out this exciting piece of history, as the first American Indian ever to run on a major party ticket.  And to think Chief Left Fist would only be 67 -- a welcome younger face to compliment whichever one of these old pasty-white graybeards that ends up topping the democrat party ticket!


Friday, August 21, 2015

How's About THESE Anchor Babies?!?

If that's politically incorrect, scoop me up a big bowl a' wrong over here.


Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Say Hey, Hilary: As Her Campaign Continues to Founder, It Strikes Me that Today's democrat party Is Just Like a Baseball Team in the 19th Inning...

...As in:  N-O  B-E-N-C-H.

And we're well past the trading deadline.

But never fear, democrat party: Maybe in 2020 or 2024, you'll actually be able to conjure up a few breathing presidential candidates not yet in their 70s.

Isn't it amazing how a few midterm elections can so deplete a party's younger bench when said party runs around for 8 years foisting leftist 20 percenter policies down our throats and governing against the majority will of the people?

Maybe Obama can just try to ban those damn pesky midterms via executive order? Something needs to be done. The so-called party of "the young and the hip," after all, should never be made to look so damn old.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Had No Idea Lefty Day Falls This Week! And I Don't Need USA Today's Advice on "What to Buy for the Special Lefty in Your Life"...

To know any of these people is to know just the sort of things they'd love to receive on their anointed day.  Here are some of my best gift suggestions:

- A seaworthy fog horn to drown out anyone who dares to say that all lives matter.

- A giant scrap yard magnet good for wipin' the ol' server clean, since the only bad email is a non-spoliated one.

- A year's supply of Botox treatments, aimed at helping people in their late 60s and 70s from looking quite so ancient to the millennials.

- A Bombardier Learjet, necessary for traveling to that next world climate change conference.

- A smokeless, odorless barbeque grill that snaps its top down on your paws if you try to cook anything other than seaweed and vegetables on it.

- A 1000-buck check to charity in the lefty's name, so they can say they gave something for once.

- A bag full a' Planned Parenthood schwag, complete with an infant-sized Mr. Potato Head.

- The quintessential American flag bathroom accessory kit, complete with Old Glory toilet tissue and bowl scrubbers.

- An adaptation of traditional circus clown attire -- a fake boutonniere that sprays liquid in the face of anyone uttering something politically incorrect. And if you really wanna make your lefty's day:

- A personally autographed Obama executive order -- the gift that just keeps on givin', all of the next 18 months long.


Friday, August 7, 2015

First gop-er Debate Aftermath: Who's UP, DOWN, or (& Get Ready for a Lotta) NEITHER as a Result of HIS (see not HER) Debate Performance...

- Donald Trump:  Neither. He was typical Trump -- no more, no less. (His Rosie O'Donnell line had me rolling, for the record).

- "Jeb" Bush:  Up.  I'm no fan at all of "Jeb" or the Bush dynasty, but I was surprised that he was as good on his feet as he was. At least in that respect, he definitely ain't his idiot brother!

- Scott Walker: Neither. Workmanlike performance. (Great Hilary email line, however).

- Marco Rubio:  Up -- if mainly based on his improvement over past performance.  He's come a bit of a ways since his Drink-of-Water Speech and was very solid, if not spectacular, in this debate. BTW, is there such a thing as ear-reduction surgery, Mr. Spock?

- Rand Paul:  Down.  Only a fool would get in the face of both Trump and Chris Christie in the same debate (and I even agree with Paul on the NSA issue). (And for Sagan's Sake, Paul, do something about that hair!)

- Ted Cruz:  Neither.  See my Trump and Walker comments.  Still Unelectable.

- John Kasich:  Up.  I rarely say anything like this, but he actually MAY be one gop-er for whom I could vote in 2016.  Seems to me to have the best overall message of any of these candidates. (These sentiments are academic and moot, of course, since Kasich AIN'T gettin' the nomination).

- Mike Huckabee:  Down. He's the biggest also-ran amongst these 10 candidates, and I'd like to see him replaced in the debate next time around with Carly Fiorina.  Huckabee's a decent talker, but alas, it ain't 2008 no more, governor.  All we are saying, is give Broad a chance.

- Ben Carson:  Almost Down, But a Rebound!  Ben ain't no politician, and I generally like him except for his devoted right-winger world view.  Carson is also easily the best looking man amongst these 10 candidates (although perhaps that ain't sayin' much).  But he seemed very stiff in the first half of the debate and much like, frankly, a non-politician. Loosened up a fair amount in the second hour, however, to garner a "Neither" from me. Nice comeback.

- Chris Christie:  Neither.  Christie failed to seize on his best opportunity to run, in 2012, and now I put him in a similar also-ran, been there/done that category as Huckabee.  See also my Trump comments.

Monday, August 3, 2015

New Poll Eviscerates Obama's Third Term Boast: You Don't Represent Independents, Mr. President. Matter of Fact, You Don't Represent Much of Anyone...

Following Obama's recent brag in Africa that he could win a third term if only the damn pesky Constitution would allow him to run, new polling data (link below) shows that a resounding 63% of likely American voters say they would outright reject a third term for His Majesty. Ouch.

Beneath that figure are 68% of Independents who say, "no thanks, jackass," to the third term notion.  Hell, even 43% of people who call themselves members of the democrat party can't say they would vote for Obama for a third term. Beatdown.

But none of these numbers is surprising. Obama's favorability ratings have remained consistently in the 40s during his second term. Moreover, Obama has never represented even the democrat party as a whole, rather catering to and representing only the leftist 20 percenter base of said rotten party (people who call themselves by the L-word and P-word, for those of you joining us from Webb City, Missourah). You reap what you sow, leftist.


Thursday, July 30, 2015

Bombshell: TheHill.com Links gop-er party to Cecil the Lion's Murder, Reporting that the Murdering Dentist Contributed to the 2012 Presidential Campaign of gop-er Mitt Romney!

I don't exactly find it shocking that the gop-er party is responsible for the death of a beloved, venerable old lion (what bad thing occurs inside or outside the U.S. that gop-ers are not responsible for?). However, I do think that the Hill.com and other media outlets are not following through on this angle nearly far enough and, in the process, are largely giving the gop-ers a free pass on Cecil.  To wit:

- Mitt Romney, in and of himself, is only gonna provide so much traction for the cause, since he's not running for president this time around.  We need some further linkage, some additional guilt by vague association, using Romney as our very convenient connector...

- For example, gop-er frontrunner Donald Trump has previously had sit-down meetings with Romney. That's very clear linkage to the Murdering Dentist, Walter James Palmer (Palmer to Romney to Trump, like an old classic MLB double play combination or something).  Why is no one yet calling Trump a lion killer?

- gop-er fat man Chris Christie is basically from the same state as Romney (do most stupid Americans even differentiate between New Jersey and Massachusetts?).  So why is that fat fuck not getting any blame for Cecil?

- gop-er's token black man candidate, Ben Carson, once sneezed on a Fox News program, in the process making a sound that I could've sworn sounded like he was saying, "Romney." How come that Uncle Tom ain't being taken behind the woodshed over Cecil?

- "Jeb" Bush has frequently been compared to Romney by the gop-ers' right-winger base, which views the Jebber as being little different from the mealy-mouthed, stand-for-nothing, establishment fat-cat Romney. So yet again, we have a gop-er candidate directly connected to Cecil's killing.

- Additional gop-er candidate Scott Walker has been excoriated for his war on unions in his native Wisconsin, while Romney once entered into a marital union with an elitist, white, horse-riding equestrian bitch named Ann.  That's right: Scott Walker, lion killer.

Need I go any farther? We have this wonderful Kevin Bacon-like Romney connector to a high-profile killing, but a media lacking the imagination to take this story as far as it needs to go for the cause. They sure as shit ain't populatin' them journalism schools like they used to!


Tuesday, July 28, 2015

"Freeburg [Illinois] Midgets to Keep Controversial Name" for High School Mascot. And That's Not All from the P-C Police Blotter...

In related news, the Springfield Stewardesses have similarly announced no name change for them either. But they have conceded to opponents that they will no longer speak Jive during medical emergencies.

Elsewhere, the Toledo Terrorists say they'll consider a name change, but only if the media produces credible evidence of their motive.

Meantime the King County Kraut-Micks have also attached conditions to any future name change, stating (and I quote):  "We ain't doin' shit while you still gots the Notre Dame Fightin' Irish."  Has anyone ever considered cutting off the booze to these bastards?

Lastly, the Bingham Big Tits have agreed to an accommodation with their critics. The boobs will undergo reduction before Week 1, and the team will replace their traditional V-neck uniforms with big frumpy pantsuits inspired by the Hilary campaign.

And until next time, that's all the P-C news that's correct for me to print.