Thursday, November 27, 2014
No Turkey Day Porker Any Longer: A Healthy Jessica Simpson Shows Off Her Sweater Suckles in "Ultra-Sheer Top"!
Damn. Thems, I mean she's, lookin' good these days (pics from a recent stroll in the Big Apple with her old man).
And Methinks me sees some nipsicles! Which itself raises a critical point:
I've never understood why so many broads eschew the ultra-sheer?!? It's downright boring having only the cleavage to stare at all the time.
After all, a bazonga without a bullseye is kinda like an ass without a hole. What the fuck good is that for anybody?
Friday, November 21, 2014
So He Finally Gets Around to It After All These Years? Obama Announces He Will Ordain by Executive Order that Five Million Illegal Immigrants Shall Be Deemed de facto "Legal"...
"I Will Make It Legal," scowled Senator Palpatine. But no worries -- Palpatine didn't become The Emperor until much later on. Besides, I have always since the start thought that Obama carries himself (and is treated) much more like a monarch than an emperor or president. But regardless...
Ya know, I absolutely hate for either (1) Obama and his leftist democrat party minions or (2) the right-winger gop-ers to ever dictate to me what I'm going to talk about on a particular day just because they happened to pick that day to pull some of their slimy partisan horseshit. But I do gots a few quickies here when it comes to His Majesty's TV "announcement" (of what we've known for almost a year is coming) on Thursday night:
-Strikes me that the Congress (with a gop-er party so beholden to the Chamber of Commerce and big business lobby) will probably pass immigration legislation in the next few years that will accomplish the same thing Obama is now set to dictate through executive order. So what's so freakin' earth-shattering here? Well, not so earth-shattering except, that is, for the putrid U.S. job market, which needs this cudgel blow to the gut like a midget needs a playful frolic through a car crusher. But explain to me when Obama has ever during his presidency given a rat's ass about jobs or the ongoing plight of the "stupid" American worker? Except for doing damage, Obama's done little on the jobs issue over the years apart from espousing the bare "minimum," in more ways than one.
-When a future president with an "R" next to his name cites to the current precedent being set by Obama in order to sign a similarly sweeping, constitutionally overreaching executive order that should be left to Congressional legislation (as Obama said to Hispanic audiences myriad times in recent years before taking the opposite position now), and when the leftist 20 percenters start going their typical apeshit and marching in the streets over said action by the "R" guy, I am going to laugh out loud (literally) right in all of their sleazy little leftist faces. Hypocrisy and taking opposite positions when convenient are the den of group-thinking, dim-opinioned dolts, after all, and never a more hypocritical lot will you meet than the leftist ideologues -- an angry, rotgut group of clones who take "the ends justify the means" mentality to the deepest depths of human depravity.
-Obama could have easily pushed (and had the Congress pass) immigration legislation in his first two years in office (recall those now long-gone democrat party House and Senate super-majorities?), but chose instead to ignore the issue back then (plus more important issues like jobs and exploding debt and deficits) in favor of a year's worth of groveling over Cap'n Trade (first) and Obamacare (for an excruciatingly long second). Gosh, what a warrior for the immigrants!!! Far from being "forced" to decree this executive order now, the truth about the ever-deceitful Obama is that he simply didn't care enough to ever push the immigration issue until he had the chickenshit political cover of his lame-duck presidency. I mean, do you have any idea how many rounds of golf this individual could've gotten in this week if not for all the time he had to spend on this whole executive order thingy? But never fear. He's in Vegas today. He'll make up for lost time.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Rotten Guys Finish First? Hot Little Number Anna Hansen Is STILL With Disgraced Bike Jockey Lance Armstrong!?!
Look at that broad! Good Grief, she's healthy! Which is why I don't understand why she continues to stay with her cheatin', dopin', lyin' humiliation of an old man?
Put another way, I don't imagine there's a company, organization, celebrity or public figure worldwide that would touch Lance Armstrong with a ten-foot pole these days, but this biker babe still allows him to touch her headlights and bike basket with his grubby little paws and ten-speeder?
When the Dodgers' old manager Leo Durocher coined the phrase, "Nice guys finish last" in 1946, I wonder if this is what Leo The Lip had in mind? (Maybe not, since I've never seen a broad in one of them '40s pictures that looked anything like Anna Hansen).
At the very least, however, maybe I should look into this whole "act like dirt, get up a skirt" thing. Worst case scenario: The dish calls me an asshole and tries to take a poke at me. But I'm already used to that kinda treatment.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Bossified: Old-Fangled Bruce Springsteen Angers "Concert for Valor" Crowd with Ancient Anti-War Song, But Says Not Word One About Obama's Current Bombing of Iraq & American Boots on the Ground There...
At this week's Veterans Day "Concert for Valor" on the Mall in Washington DC, the old leftist 20 percenter warhorse Bruce Springsteen perturbed concertgoers by performing a tune almost as old as him (and he didn't even write it) -- John Fogerty and Creedence Clearwater Revival's old protest song, "Fortunate Son." "I ain't no military son!", screeched the old-timer to jeers from the crowd.
Never mind that it's the leftist hero of Springsteen and 20 percenters everywhere -- Mr. 38%, Barack Obama -- who's currently bombing the hell out of Iraq and who announced this week that he's going to send even more boots on the ground (errr, "advisors") over there...
What an Inconvenient Truth, of course. So ol' Brucey Boy made damn sure to keep his mouth shut about that. Courageous. Jonathan Gruber pats on the back to the broken down old bossman.
And so goes the timeless hypocrisy of the ideologues, whether leftist or right-winger: Make noise, protest, march in the streets, and go apeshit over this issue or that one just so long as the President has the appropriate letter next to his name! Otherwise, shut your piehole and sing some old songs or something.
Meantime Springsteen's 60s-flashback performance this week only buttresses the growing national talking point that the leftist democrat party is ever-increasingly the party of moth-eaten old fossils like Springsteen, Hilary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Harry Reid, Claire McCaskill, "Bernie" Sanders, Jerry Brown and Nancy Pelosi -- with the party's youthful bench all but depleted given the 2014 election wipeout and Obama's forced retirement in two years...
To which talking point, I have to say: Grandpa and Grandma, you never looked so awful!
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Scrub Out: Nurse Allegedly "Killed Up to 38 Patients Because She Found Them Annoying"! But Here's Some Tips For Dealing With This Broad If You Draw Her at the Hospital...
Look at that sly little grin! She's 42-year-old Italian nurse Daniela Poggiali (pictured above), and she's suspected of whacking out up to 38 of her patients...
But, believe it or not, it ain't actually the end of the world if she gets assigned to your bed down to the hospital. Here are some of my best suggestions for interacting with this hardcore healthcare worker if the need should ever arise:
- "My stool has just been the tops, Nurse Danny, ever since you came on shift today."
- "Don't you worry about my bedpan. I'll clean it. You gots more important things to do."
- "No, the commissary didn't bring my supper, but I'm still absolutely stuffed from that scrumptious Shepard's Pie they brought up for lunch!"
- "I'm not paying any attention to that TV news. You go ahead and switch it right on over to Oprah."
- "Some hobo came in here and pushed that call-nurse button. I really don't need a thing. And I'm gonna call security on that bum."
- "Doc wrote down that I was complaining of bed sores? No, I was just remarking that Mr. Horowitz in the next bed snores."
- "I don't need no sponge bath. If anything, I should be comin' down to the nurse station and waiting on you!"
- "Pain level? That would be a big fat Zero, Nurse Danny. Gout of the left tit never felt so good!"
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
gop-er party Takes U.S. Senate Majority, & Adds to Its Majority in the U.S. House: Who Gives a Fuck?
Right-wingers nationwide hail this as a great victory, while leftist 20 percenters cried before the election (even if many now spin to the contrary) that this Senate shakeup means the world's coming to an end. But Bullshit to both of 'em, as usual...
I would like anyone to explain to me how anything on the national landscape is any different today than it was yesterday? Yes, gridlock still rules, which is good, but we already had gridlock and it accomplishes little apart from preventing either rotten party from causing too much damage. And yes, the gop-ers will probably now depress the "nuclear option" button pushed by Senate Majority Leech Harry Reid and the democrat party for judicial and executive nominations, which is also good, but most Americans have no idea what that even means and it has no impact upon existing Senate rules regarding the passage of legislation.
So how are things really any different today? How are they any different than yesterday for the average working American who isn't a partisan ideologue and simply wants a job with an ounce of job security and an opportunity for advancement and higher wages/salary through hard work? How is anything any different for the average working American whose main goal in life is to see his kids do a little better in life than he did?
Ans: It's not any different today, and nothing's changed. Even simple, rather modest dreams like having a fighting chance to better yourself and the future of your children are increasingly a thing of the past in the utterly depressed America of W Bush and the individual (Mr. 38%) we currently have as a president. Household incomes remain stagnant, people can't find decent jobs and continue to leave the labor force in droves, and the young people today of all races and ethnicities face a far bleaker future than any group of American young people in generations.
And things won't change as long as we continue to bitterly cling to this rotten two-party system and the radical democrat party and the gop-er party (a foul mix of extremists and political fat cat career politicians) that inhabit that same system. These people don't give a shit about you or your family, but rather care only about cementing and continuing their own political power (first and foremost) and forcing their radical horseshit world views down your throat (second and not far behind).
Until we tear up this corrupt, self-interested, extreme-controlled political system and start electing Independent men and women of good will who care about the best interests of the American people, this country will only continue its rapid decline down the shitter. And no change from "D" to "R" (or vice versa) in the presidency or the Congress is gonna make any freakin' difference...
Or, you can just keep voting for these two creep parties over and over and over again, never dreaming of or demanding anything better. That's ultimately your choice, not mine. But you can be something so much better, America.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Halloween Treat: "If I Want Casual Sex, I'll Do It!," Proclaims "Gone Girl" & "Blurred Lines" Broad Emily Ratajkowski, Posting Hot New Twitter Pic!
The 23-year-old model/actress further spouts to Cosmopolitan: "I feel lucky that I can wear what I want, sleep with who I want, and dance how I want, and still be a feminist." [Shouldn't that be "whom," BTW?]
Adds this budding nuclear scientist for further amplification: "If I want to have casual sex, I'll do it! I'm not the girl who will handcuff someone the first time I sleep with him. But I'm also not going to cry during sex because I think it is so romantic."
Now, while I was tempted at first blush to react to all this with, "Where can I sign up baby!," this hot little number's invocation of such notions as handcuffings and having a good cry during sex gives me more than just a little pause...
You see, Rager hates doll drama and forced confinements. Those things are kind of a real downer. So sorry, toots. You're just gonna have to look elsewhere for your next slut slough.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
SNAPSHOT: Nebraska High School Allows Students to Pose With Guns in School Pictures! Where Were Some of These Lax Restrictions When I Was a Schoolboy?
Ordained recently by the Broken Bow, Nebraska, School District: 17 and 18-year-old students may pose with weapons (and presumably other props) in their school pics just so long as the pics "don't depict violence towards humanity"...
Now, much like Michelle ObamaMeals, the banning of corporal punishment, and the renaming of offensive terms like "Halloween party" and "Christmas break," this new gun initiative again takes American schools in a direction I would've thunk unfathomable a few decades ago.
But what the hell do I know over here? ALL in the name of "Progress" and "conser*ative values," right? Just wish I was still in high school to take advantage. Adhering closely to the new Broken Bow policy, here's some of the directions I might've taken my senior photos:
- Pose with a big pair of brass knuckles: I figure I fully comply with the policy as long as I keep my arm and fist limp at my side like a ragdoll. A raised pair of knucks, in contrast, might be construed as a threat towards humanity.
- Utilize a Glock 22 handgun, complete with silencer: I might holster the sidearm, but the silencer would present difficulties with that. So instead I'd simply place it harmlessly on a decorative pedestal next to me. How quaint!
- Brandish an unsheathed Samurai sword: It could be part of a harmless "Games of Thrones" motif, incorporating for good measure a midget and one of those Ned Stark dummy heads from Season 1 that looks like W Bush. [And no opposition here to an Obama rodeo clown mask, just for fairness, Yael Abouhalkah.]
- Blast off a Civil War cannon as the camera flashes: It ain't violence, after all, if I don't aim the artillery at anyone in particular.
- Include a couple of broads from down to the local titty bar: No violence towards humanity there, lest you count their meat puppets as loaded weapons.
- Depict Hot Teacher paddlin' my ass with a 2X4: It wouldn't be a real swat, and besides Rager's been a naughty boy who could use a little correction (and more than just a good talking-to).
The possibilities here, it would seem, are endless. Don't even get me started on buggy whips and riding crops.
Friday, October 24, 2014
I Am Getting SICK & TIRED of All the Smartphone Pics & Midwest Belly-Achin' Over the Michelle ObamaMeals in the Local Schools...
...Don't these pessimistic little punks and their un-progres*ive parents realize that if they were in Syria or Somalia or Iraq right about now, these would be the best meals they'd get to shove down their peon pieholes all month long!?!?
So shut the fuck up and eat your cauliflower and prune juice, ya bitterly clingin' flyover ingrates, ya.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Deadbeat democrat? "Obama's JPMorgan Credit Card Denied at Restaurant on New York City Trip." The Outrage!
How dare JPMorgan! Just because Obama's America can no longer pay its bills does NOT mean that Obama on a personal level shouldn't still be extended credit...
Here's how it is: I've never read or known Obama to be a big spender or debt accumulator when it comes to his own jack. This One Percenter Dude's worth way north of 10 million bucks for Chrissakes!
And while Obama and predecessor W Bush may be the two most irresponsible, shameless and destructive spenders of your money that the country has ever seen, that hardly translates to Obama's own credit rating, which I would imagine is quite stellar.
My one inescapable conclusion here is that JPMorgan is obviously racist and really could use a good IRS audit or Federal Reserve investigation. Where the hell's Eric Holder and Lois Lerner when we really need them?
Friday, October 17, 2014
Hey, Rager can hang! In November's Vanity Fair, the recent nude-photo-leaked (and Hunger Games and American Hustle star) Jennifer Lawrence divulged the five prerequisites that she has before a dude can become her old man, and I ain't too shabby on this shit! Check it:
1. A Guy Who Likes Reality Television: I'm there, babe! From "Amish Mafia" to "The Devils Ride" (and maybe even a few others in between), just paint me a Reality TV-watchin' fool!
2. A Guy Who Will Fart in Front of Her: Five words: Five bean burritos, one sitting. I gots this broad covered!
3. Not Gluten-Free: Wouldn't I first have to know what "gluten" is before I could possibly be free of it? Regardless, feel "free" to call me the Gluten Glutton!
4. Love of Larry David: No need for me to even primp and posture on this one: "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "Seinfeld" are two of my favorite shows ever. Titmouse!
5. Someone Who Doesn't Argue: Oh, Fuck! I'm OUT. To me, life is just one big argument! One never-ending expression of disrespect for the bullshit opinions of others. But I was golden on #1 through #4. So while wedding bells may not be in store, hows a bouts we just be friends with benefits, Jen?
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Sans Makeup, & in a Politically Correct, Non-Thinking, Group-Joining, Partisan Ideologue America I Often Don't Recognize Anymore, It's Great to See That Some Things Never Change...
...Like Kelly Brock's tits.
I struggle to cite too many other examples, however.
Friday, October 10, 2014
Book Me, Dana! Hot Little Number Cop Reportedly Has Criminals "Clamoring" for Her to Tackle, Pat Down & Throw Her Busty Book at 'Em!
Pics are from this flat-footed floozy's recent appearance on the street investigating a jewel heist.
In tow, this legal lassie sported a hot "form-fitting top, the tightest white pants she could buy, and . . . a pair of cowboy boots." Rounding out her total package were her three big guns, including the one she had holstered on her hot little waist.
BTW, it's never too late in life for a dude to pull his first bank job, is it?
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Louse President: Mentally Challenged Joe Biden "Overstates Deaths in Joplin Tornado by 160839." Let's Just Call This Idiot "DAN"!
161 were killed in Joplin. But according to Joe Biden, it was 161,000. And I betcha this fool can't spell "potato" either. Or even "chains" for that matter. And this on the heels of two other ill-advised Biden statements over the weekend (both of which he was forced to walk back) insulting American allies in the Middle East.
How ironic is it that the leftist democrat party's conquering heroes of six years ago -- Biden and the individual we currently have as a president -- have turned out to be just as ill-qualified, incompetent, unintelligent, and downright shameful as the two worst bozos that the gop-ers have put up in my lifetime: W Bush and Dan Quayle.
Someone please explain to me why a majority of the people in this country still insist on voting for one of these two rotten parties and the slimeballs they offer up as candidates?
Regardless, I can't follow along. I won't vote for horseshit. And Mr. Biden is a six-foot pile.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Cajun Clambake: Two High School English Teachers in Louisiana Busted for Allegedly Having a THREESOME with 16-Year-Old Male Student!
This may be the most proficient English student in human history: He diagrammed both of their sentences for 'em. At the same time! (Allegedly)...
Cops in Destrehan, Louisiana say those two cute little blonde numbers (33-year-old Shelley St. Pierre Defresne and 23-year-old Rachel Respess) took a ride on the three-way freeway with the 16-year-old lad and EVEN had him VIDEO the encounter! Seems the boy's in Mrs. Defresne's class this year and was in Miss Respess' class last year.
Now, when she's not building a meat sandwich with a fellow teacher and a kid half her age (allegedly), Mrs. Defresne reportedly likes to spend time with the "three beautiful children" that she and her old man have at home. Wonder what this boy-bangin' broad (allegedly) told her 3 little punks on the night in question? "Mommy's gotta go split some wood, kids -- be back in an hour"???
As for reaction from the school: A threesome incident like this "is something we don't like to see happen because it's a distraction," said school board member Al Suffrin. "It gets in the way of what our core business is." So, never mind the impact on the kid -- How the hell are the other students supposed to buckle down with a menage a trois in their midst?!?
But now these two Beowulf-beltin' clam cousin English teachers (allegedly) may have to get their trifecta fanny jaffle on down at the local hoosegow, "Orange Is the New Black" style...
After their alleged love wedge bragged up his teacher triumvirate to fellow students, cops slapped both of these french braid floozies (allegedly) with felony "carnal knowledge of a juvenile" charges -- perhaps making this the most expensive French Connection (allegedly) since the old Gene Hackman picture.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Harsh Indictment? Topless Drunk Splish Splash Man Gets the Good Book Thrown at Him For Taking a Bath in the Holy Water Trough at a Catholic Church!
Take a look at this holy bevy of charges, many of which I gotta think are felonious: (1) Arson; (2) Criminal Mischief; (3) Damage to Property; (4) Theft; and (5) Possession of Stolen Property; and (6) Probation Violations.
ALL THAT just for trying to cleanse himself in the Waters of the Lord down at the St. Mary's Catholic Church in Ontario, Canada? Well, he did also allegedly swipe a rosary (what's that, like 10 bucks?!) and try to start a fire (unsuccessfully), but C'Mon!
I might understand if this 26-year-old pie-eyed parishioner had tried to use the Holy Water Trough as a piss-pot or something, but there's simply no indication of anything like that.
I say make him pay restitution for the rosary, clean up the little mess he made, and have him wash down the Holy Water Trough back in the vestibule with a brillo pad and garden hose.
In short, put the joint back to where it was before this filthy follower got his bath on. OR, just toss his dirty bathin' baptismal ass in the hoosegow for 10 years, Canada, if you really have only one oar in the holy water.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Two Out of the Blue: Where Did Britney Spears Get THOSE?!? Now That Opens Up a Whole Host of New Honker Possibilities!
Pics are from recent excursion to the Kate and Lace lingerie store and the Wildflour Cafe in Thousand Oaks, California. O-h M-y!
I've never seen the former teen idol, now turned 30-something, half-a-has-been, look so good! And how 'bout them huge hoofers?!?
Mesuggests Britney needs to forget the musical career and seek out more contemporary pursuits better tailored to her current sweater strengths and ass(ets).
Like porn, perhaps. Even soft-core. She'd be the perfect Cinemax Saturday Night Special. Coupled with a role on Cinemax's "Banshee" as the fake sheriff's new naked squeeze and gun moll.
Who the hell says every blonde bimbo bubblegum broad on auto-tune steroids must be dead and buried at age 30? So cliched and short-sighted, such limitations.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
In my experience, right-wingers tend to smell like a moldy old unfinished basement in need of remediation.
Leftists, in contrast, would prefer that you live in a moldy old unfinished basement in need of remediation.
But leftists smell more like the inside of a Michael Moore fat roll.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Wardrobe Malfunction: democrat party National Chairman Patty "Wasserman" Simpson in Trouble With party Slimeballs for a Litany of Sins, Including ... Panhandling for New Threads?!?
I'm frankly not sure how "Wasserman" Simpson has made it this long as democrat party Chairman. She's not exactly what you'd call an appealing face of the leftist party, and her steady stream of lunatic-like gaffes make me think this broad's a few chains short of a Biden (most recently: "Wasserman" Simpson compared right-winger tea partiers to wife beaters).
But her ineffective leadership of the party seems to be the least of her problems. As reported in this week's Politico, democrat party partisans have "turned" on "Wasserman" Simpson for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which are her repeated efforts the past two years to get the party "to cover the costs of her wardrobe."
"Wasserman" Simpson's begging has reportedly included conniving in 2012 for a new free wardrobe for the democrat party National Convention, in 2013 for Mr. 38%'s second inauguration, and again in 2013 for the White House Lackeys' (errrr, Correspondents') Dinner! All such overtures, apparently, were rebuffed by the democrat party (leastways atop the table).
But here's my question: WHY deny this old battle axe some new stitches? Why NOT extend the entitlement state straight to her highly entitled DC front door?
I mean, just take a gander at this silly bastard up above! What, with her steel-stringer hairdo, beady little eyes, gun moll green earrings, and that necklace looking like a yank-chain from an Alabama shithouse...
If ever there was a creature who could use a little charity in the ol' wardrobe department, I'd think it would be this broad. Why not show a little more compassion, democrat party? Your stinginess towards this woman is rather unbecoming.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Match These Two Misogynists in a Cage: GA Man Allegedly Starts Knife Fight w/ Female Pit Bull at Petsmart, While PA Groom Allegedly Feels Up & Tries to Force Drinks Down Pregnant Reception Employee After Wedding!
It could be billed as the Battle of the Sexist Louts, with the East Coast Championship on the line, and I have a definite prediction (besides pain) as to who will win:
1. Cops in GA say a man there allegedly went berzerk and hacked up a female pit bull inside the Petsmart while a gaggle of terrified kids witnessed the butchery. The little bitch's crime had apparently been to nibble on the ears of this knife-wielding maniac's Westie Terrier.
2. Meantime in PA, in an act that may officially cast the perp as Worst Groom since Henry VIII, a 33-year-old newlywed allegedly used the reception as his own personal groping ground -- feeling up a 20-something reception broad while trying to foist booze down her pregnant piehole (allegedly). A bloody melee ensued between Groomy and the broad's 20-year-old BF.
So who wins a grudge match between these two male chauvenist creeps? I put 10-1 odds on Jason from GA, to wit: If that guy slices up a canine to death for tugging on his pooch's ears, just think of the number he'd do on a Groom who took to tugging on his old lady's tits? Just hope the Lucky Bride is a jigsaw buff.
Friday, September 12, 2014
right-winger Website: "Ten Birthday Presents Bill Clinton's NOT Allowed to Have" This Summer, Including Irina Shayk & Kate Upton. Really right-wingers?
Jeezal Peezal, right-wingers! It's been 16 years since Bubba (who just recently turned 68 this summer) was last caught (or even accused) of prodding a young female subordinate to speak into his married mike or to clinch down on his contraband stogie. What difference, at this point, does it make?!?
I might even call statute of limitations on these deranged right-wing creeps, if not for the loony leftist 20 percenters still blaming that idiot W Bush daily for every car accident, upstart terrorist organization (see ISIS), natural disaster, murderous act or common cold that pops up anywhere on the human grid.
But that is the incessant mindlessness that is just about any right-winger or leftist whom I've ever known: Once a light bulb flashes and a talking point is thunked up by one of their so-called minds, they feel it best to run it into the ground for years and years and then some.
That sort of foolishness, after all, is what non-intellectual partisan ideologue buffoons of all stripes are best at, regardless of the letter (D or R) next to the name. But don't blame the feeble-minded. They can't help it.