Friday, May 22, 2015
Damn My Double Vision! "Make-Up Free Zoe Saldana Wears Skintight Leggings as She Works Up a Sweat at the Gym in Hollywood" -- Or So Someone Seems to be Observing, Leastways...
This broad's gotta perky little near-perfectamundo rack for which I'd gladly trade 1000 Alabama shithouses, even given the goin' rate on scrap iron and lumber.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Thank You, King Joffrey: Obama Ordains From On High in Recent Days that "We're Going to Have to Change How the Media Reports." And Frankly, I Couldn't Agree More...
For seven long years, Obama's enjoyed all the benefits and advantages of a national media much more concerned with taking Obama's side and protecting him than actually, you know, letting some journalism break out or something.
So like the proverbial broken watch is nearly always correct twice a day, Obama has me agreeing with him over here: We're going to have to change how this damn media reports (just like we need to change people's religious beliefs, as Hilary astutely observed recently). After all, this whole freedom of press, speech, and religion thing is getting WAY overrated nowadays, don't 'cha agree?
Thursday, May 14, 2015
"GOD I WANT YOU RIGHT NOW": Missouri gop-er House Speaker & Aspiring Lyricist John Diehl Resigns Over "Sexually Charged Exchanges" with Joplin College Freshman Intern Broad!
- "Once I start I don't stop"
- "Will have my way with you"
- "And leave you quivering"
- "You will be in good hands"
- "God I want you right now"
- "Laying in bed looking at your pic"
- "I was thinking ab[o]ut what you said you wear to bed"
- "I am soooo distracted right now . . ."
- ". . . You would be in trouble if you were here."
But fledgling Motown career aside, really the only unresolved question in my mind is this:
Did this John Diehl leave things at inappropriate texting, or did his John Thomas make an appearance at some juncture, a la Diehl's democrat party versions, Bill Clinton and Anthony's Weiner?
Which itself hatches an idea for what could be the next big thing in popular music: I'm thinking of a new supergroup with Diehl on lead vocals, Clinton gettin' a saxophone puff, and Weiner flouting his flute. Just call 'em the Kumstain Trio.
More Sexual Healing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjlSiASsUIs
Postscript: Another great post suggest by Not Yo' Baby Mama! Thank You, Not Mama!
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
This Broad Can Reyna My Parade Any Day: "Time Lapse Video Charts the Evolution of Mexican Beauty Over the Last 100 Years." And I Know the Decade I'm Hittin'!
That's right, I'll take a piece of 1980s Reyna! Good Grief, does that dish look healthy and ready to go! And she ain't the only one. So excuse me now while I go hit the shitter. Megots some deep thoughts to collect.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Politically Incorrect: Hilary Clinton, Opposed to Gay Marriage Until Only Very Recently, Also Previously Spouted that "I Am Adamantly Against Illegal Immigrants"!
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
AP Poll: "Decisive Majority of Americans View [Hilary] Clinton as Dishonest," Including More Than 60% of Independents. But How Can that Possibly Be?
And please spare me, Hilary, the usual attacks on the source and messenger. This is the Associated Press -- not exactly a bastion of right-winger propaganda over there.
Friday, May 1, 2015
Supreme Dork: At Gay Marriage Arguments this Week, Right-Winger Justice Alito Asks If 2 Dudes & 2 Ladies Are Entitled to a Foursome Marriage Under the Constitution. Obvious Answer: Depends...
Would they let each guy do a threesome with the two of 'em?
Is one or both of these tootses screamers?
What are their views on leg and hand restraints?
Hows about yafflin' the ol' yogurt cannon?
Are we talkin' terrific tits, or lumbering lard vats?
Asses that shake like a salt shaker, or an old barrel hoop?
In sum, how the fuck can I say whether two dudes should be allowed to marry a couple 'a broads if I know absolutely nothing about said skirts?
Alito oughta go back to law school or something. After his half-baked hypothetical, he strikes me as a couple pubes short of a Clarence Thomas.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
BRRR: 30 Degree Temps Hit NYC Over Weekend & New Report Declares "Global Warming Has Slowed" to "Natural Variability." But Isn't All That Beside the Point?
To wit: Coldest decade in history? Climate Change. Hottest decade in history? Climate Change. No aqua in Cali? Climate Change. Earthquake kills 1000+ in Nepal? Climate Change. National debt tops $17 Trillion? Climate Change. Gunman goes on rampage? Climate Change. (Oh wait, I meant to say Gun Control on that one. Gettin' my canned, rotgut, groupthink blame reactions mixed up over here. But I digress...)
Isn't the real point this: The temps, the facts, the trends, and the realities matter little in any of this? Because regardless of any of those variables -- indeed, regardless, of what occurs -- the leftist 20 percenters are going to beat the "climate change" drum and try to silence any dissent or discussion to the contrary?
Because the issue, closely akin to a form of religion, is that important to them -- as a means to an end, that is. The endgame is "climate change" legislation and massive expansions in the size and power of the federal government bureaucracy as a result. (Recall the Cap'n Trade monstrosity they foisted through the House in 2009 (only to have it later die in the Senate)). The ends always justify the means with leftists, and "climate change" is just the means, the pretense, to even bigger government despite our stifling national debt.
Remember this the next time you may feel tempted to get in the middle of the "climate change" sniping between the leftist 20 percenters and the right-wingers. You'd be wasting valuable time out of your life. Because the facts and the truth simply matter not.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Old Bat Meet Kettle: Hilary, With an Estimated Net Worth of $150-200 MILLION, Calls This Week for Those Dastardly Wealthy People to be "Toppled" to the Ground!
I mean, the way this broad's going, she's going to be worth more than the ol' Mittster by Election Day 2016 (and that fart's worth a cool quarter-BILLION dollars)! (Especially if some of those Middle Eastern dictators really start buckin' up on Hilary's behalf!).
Meantime Hilary's deep old pappy pockets -- she's threatened to spend a mind-boggling record $2.6 BILLION on the 2016 campaign -- certainly hasn't stopped her from spouting the same tired, hundred years' old, class warfare rhetoric of the leftist democrat party. She declared this week that she will "topple" (common meaning: tear down; bring to a ruinous end) those damn pesky rich people (apparently excluding her own rich ancient carcass). But hey, I guess really old rhetoric sort of befits really old candidates, no?
Besides, you've heard, haven't ya? That's right -- Hilary The Hoary says she wants to be your "Champion"! Whatever that means, precisely...
But truth be told, if being a "Champion" means sleep-walking through a vapid, out of the past, Astroturf presidential campaign chock full of adolescent talking points, inevitability, and entitled arrogance, then the fossilized former first lady must certainly be considered at least a #1 Contender. Maybe Hilary should be the one stepping into the ring with Wladimir Klitschko this weekend instead of Bryant Jennings?
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
"World's Biggest House Goes Up For Sale -- 115 Bedrooms, 100 Bathrooms"! Man, I Could Use That Kinda Space to Move Around In...
Oh, I'd put 'em to use, just you never mind about that. To wit:
-"Shithouse of the Day": First, I'd rotate my use of all 100 shitters, such that no particular privy would need to be used anymore than 3 or 4 days out of the year. Special added benefit: With such infrequent use, I could probably get by (at least most of the time) with not having the crappers cleaned more than once every 10-20 years or so.
-"The Porn Nook": I've long had a hankerin' to set aside an exclusive preview room for my Friday night porn pictures. Now I'd have it! With a year's supply of wash towels on hand at all times.
-"A Multi-Pantried Approach": I'd devote a different room to become the pantry for each of the five food groups. Ya know -- red meat, bread, condiments, soup, and beer.
-"Give the Broads the Ol' Four Corners": That joint's so huge, one could have four broads over at the same time, and just squirrel each away in a different corner! "Be back in a little while, Mary Lou -- I gots a room to hit over there to check out for leaky pipes."
-"The Centrifuge": This would be a dungeon-like chamber of horrors where I'd toss any leftists or right-wingers dumb enough to ever come a' trespassing or poachin' on my land.
-"The Bada-Bing Room": This space would double as not only a "Sopranos" viewing room on weekend mornings, but would also be easily convertible to a fully equipped titty bar to entertain any of my friends who aren't dead yet when they're in town.
-"Weapons Cache": Last but not least, meneeds a central repository for the utensils necessary to keep Centrifuge inhabitants and other motherfuckers in line when they're around my joint. Here, I'd have on hand the standard panoply of devices of mayhem, from buggy whips, riding crops, and railroad spikes, to meat grinders, Katana swords, and bone-saws.
So my plan's well on its way. Now I just need the $30 million for the askin' price. That's a shitload of bank jobs and/or gas stations to knock over. Not that I'm even given to that sort of thing, but I gots to try sumpin over here to pursue me Dream, No?
Friday, April 17, 2015
Hey, Lots of Really Old People Don't In Fact Have Dementia: UK Newspaper Cover Actually Seems to Imply that Hilary Has Alzeimer's!
Sure, Hilary's a decrepit old war horse out of the past. Sure, she's a lying sack of entitled excrement to boot. But someone needs to tell The Independent that there's a difference between (1) a person who goes around knowingly spouting fraudulent statements about past events and (2) a person who simply misremembers the past after losing their marbles to Alzeimer's.
I just haven't seen any credible evidence that Hilary currently has on-set Alzeimer's symptoms, a la right-winger hero Ronald Reagan in his second term. Hilary may be pushing 70, but she ain't quite arrived at ol' Ronnie's mid-1980s age just yet. Give her to around 2018, however, and let's reconvene on the issue. Deal?
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Can't Say I Blame Her: Female Rapper Azealia Banks "Talks Obama Sex Fantasy in Billboard Magazine"...
In fact, I believe I've noted previously in this space that she's truly quite fetching for an early 50s-something broad. Best lookin' first lady of my lifetime (even if the pickens have been mighty slim).
So I can definitely see where this Azealia Banks is coming from when she talks about her Obama sex fantasy. Only one caveat: If this hot little item Azealia next conjures up a Hilary fantasy, then methinks you'll hear the Rager whistlin' a much different tune the next time around.
Friday, April 10, 2015
"What's in a Name?" Female Supporters Warn, "Don't Call 'Hillary' Clinton By Her First Name [Nor Sundry Other Garden-Variety Terms] -- That's Sexist!" OK, I Shall Abide [To a Point]...
Rather it'll always be "Hilary" to me. You see, I don't ever call political slimeballs by the names, labels, or spellings they're given, request, or prefer to be called. They're deserving of no such respect.
That leads me to "democrat party." And "gop-er party." And
"leftist [20 percenters]". And "right-wingers." And "Hilary," as the case may be.
Not to mention other descriptions that Hilary supporters have recently warned me not to use (and by those warnings I cannot abide), to wit: Hilary Clinton is a polarizing, calculating, disingenuous, insincere, ambitious, inevitable, entitled, over-confident, secretive, out of touch, do anything to win, old battle axe of a broad who represents the past (and every single word of that be true). Now, all that being said...
S-O-O-O-O-O -- What should you call ME, you may be inquiring?
ANS: Just keep your fuckin' mouth shut about me.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
My only question: Is this broad claiming that I can get down to Kelly-like male proportions if I just maintain a diet focused on such things as barley, wheat, oats, and rye seeds?
Because, I've gots a good friend named Mr. K-Ice who packs all them same damn seeds, but very much begs to differ with Kelly's proffered opinion.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Report: "Michelle O 'Healthy' Lunches Fed to Pigs." OK, This Whole Michelle ObamaMeals Thing Is Really Starting to Get a Bit Ridiculous...
Here we have a clear abuse of innocent hogs, and PETA's not so much as even stickin' a snout in.
Meantime the ASPCA also needs to grow a hoof, apparently thinking that feeding crap to swine be fine as well.
Meguesses these Michelle ObamaMeals must have the right letter next to their name.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
The Endless Campaign: Once You've Known One Leftist 20 Percenter -- Same Talking Points; Same Rotgut Reactions; Same Tired Tactics "All the Time"...
"'All politics, all the time for de Blasio' -- The quote of the week from [local democrat party broad Cathy Nolan on de Blasio's politicking on education]. 'Everything with the de Blasio administration is a campaign,' she told the Wall Street Journal."
Continues Goodwin: "In his second year, just like his first, Bill de Blasio would rather campaign than govern. He panders to his 17 percent base as though that’s all there is to leading and managing an international city of 8.4 million people. It’s all politics, all the time."
Gee whiz, that description seems to sound rather vaguely familiar. Let's see: Constant campaigning rather than governing? Concerned with the 20% of the population that groupthinks his ideology, to the complete exclusion of everyone else? Politics before everything, "all the time"?
Well, anyway, the name will come to me. Until then, I'm just glad we've never elected an American president who was like that. Such a dude would probably have to go down as one of the worst ever. Don't 'cha think?
Friday, March 27, 2015
Methinks She Needs Lasik Surgery Instead: "Human Barbie" Says She's Getting Her 37th Plastic Surgery to "Look Like" the Doll!
Simply put, the children's Barbie doll has never had gigantic tits like this Wildd freak (now approaching a QQQ cup size!). What damn doll is this bosomy broad looking at?!?
Now, if Wildd was trying to be a retread of, say, Dolly Parton or a pale version of old school porn hottie Ebony Ayes, then yes -- I'd say she gots something going on...
But the Barbie thing just ain't workin' out so well for ya over there, Lace. Sorry doll.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Y-a-w-n: Greaseball & Joe McCarthy Clone Ted Cruz Becomes First gop-er to Declare His Candidacy for the Presidency in 2016...
Friday, March 20, 2015
Gentlemen Prefer Her: "Once Dubbed Kim Kardashian's Protege," Hot Little Number Lauren Stoner Steps Out on Her Ownsome (& Better Yet, On a Miami Beachsome!)
Give Big Daddy ALL THAT any day of the week, year or lifetime before Kim's huge fat ass, farcically fake tits, and profoundly retarded IQ.
Has the Rager begun to grow on ya yet over there, Stoner?!?
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Just Shut the Fuck Up Already: Miami Man Shouts on the Street at Temple-Goers, "Allah Akbar, We Will Cut Your Heads Off!" Uh, No You Won't, Tough Guy...
Take your slimy carcass over to the "islamic state" or the Persian Shithouse of Iran, you prick.
Because I won't offer ya even so much as one jobs program or wimp treaty before I split your head as a favor, slug-job.
Friday, March 13, 2015
"Pert Derriere"? Not the Precise Same Two Words that 1st Came to Mind For Me, But They'll Do: Zoe Kravitz Shows Off in Miami, Set to Appear in THREE Big Films the Next Few Months...
Personally, I was already planning to check out the re-imagined Mad Max picture. But now I may also have a Good Kill and an Insurgent in my immediate future. After viewing the below-linked stories concerning this Zoe broad, truth be told, those two additional films had me at Ass.