Thursday, July 30, 2015
Bombshell: TheHill.com Links gop-er party to Cecil the Lion's Murder, Reporting that the Murdering Dentist Contributed to the 2012 Presidential Campaign of gop-er Mitt Romney!
- Mitt Romney, in and of himself, is only gonna provide so much traction for the cause, since he's not running for president this time around. We need some further linkage, some additional guilt by vague association, using Romney as our very convenient connector...
- For example, gop-er frontrunner Donald Trump has previously had sit-down meetings with Romney. That's very clear linkage to the Murdering Dentist, Walter James Palmer (Palmer to Romney to Trump, like an old classic MLB double play combination or something). Why is no one yet calling Trump a lion killer?
- gop-er fat man Chris Christie is basically from the same state as Romney (do most stupid Americans even differentiate between New Jersey and Massachusetts?). So why is that fat fuck not getting any blame for Cecil?
- gop-er's token black man candidate, Ben Carson, once sneezed on a Fox News program, in the process making a sound that I could've sworn sounded like he was saying, "Romney." How come that Uncle Tom ain't being taken behind the woodshed over Cecil?
- "Jeb" Bush has frequently been compared to Romney by the gop-ers' right-winger base, which views the Jebber as being little different from the mealy-mouthed, stand-for-nothing, establishment fat-cat Romney. So yet again, we have a gop-er candidate directly connected to Cecil's killing.
- Additional gop-er candidate Scott Walker has been excoriated for his war on unions in his native Wisconsin, while Romney once entered into a marital union with an elitist, white, horse-riding equestrian bitch named Ann. That's right: Scott Walker, lion killer.
Need I go any farther? We have this wonderful Kevin Bacon-like Romney connector to a high-profile killing, but a media lacking the imagination to take this story as far as it needs to go for the cause. They sure as shit ain't populatin' them journalism schools like they used to!
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
"Freeburg [Illinois] Midgets to Keep Controversial Name" for High School Mascot. And That's Not All from the P-C Police Blotter...
Elsewhere, the Toledo Terrorists say they'll consider a name change, but only if the media produces credible evidence of their motive.
Meantime the King County Kraut-Micks have also attached conditions to any future name change, stating (and I quote): "We ain't doin' shit while you still gots the Notre Dame Fightin' Irish." Has anyone ever considered cutting off the booze to these bastards?
Lastly, the Bingham Big Tits have agreed to an accommodation with their critics. The boobs will undergo reduction before Week 1, and the team will replace their traditional V-neck uniforms with big frumpy pantsuits inspired by the Hilary campaign.
And until next time, that's all the P-C news that's correct for me to print.
Friday, July 24, 2015
"The Glamour Model Whose T-Shirt Was Too Rude for the pope": Bosomy Argentine Broad Gets Excommunicated From Audience with Francis!
I'll say it again: What a PRUDE, this pope! And that's not even the half of it: When he's not trying to impose his right-wing social standards on how we dress and how we act on the Net, this Old Grouch is beatin' us about the head, breast, and ass with a bunch of his boring leftist platitudes on capitalism and climate. I'm asleep over here!
I've got a little suggestion for this surly old curmudgeon: Hows about spending a little more time talking about, ya know, religious shit, and swallowing a big S-T-F-U communion wafer when it comes to just about anything else?? Don't be a poopy pontiff, you crusty old bastard, ya.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
"Don Voyage"? Hardly. Here's Why Trump Isn't Going Anywhere Despite His "You Ain't No War Hero" Blast at Tired Old Man McCain...
Guess where Trump's pulling all of his support in the gop-er primary race? It sure as hell ain't from the stuffy old "establishment" types. Rather it's from the devout right-wingers -- a big swath of the so-called tea partiers of years past.
And guess who is one of the least favorite people on the planet to said right-wingers? That would be one Tired Old Man himself, John McCain, whom the right-wingers see as a classic not-down-for-the-cause establishment "Rino." Trump could accuse McCain of single handedly losing the Vietnam War, and a ton of the right-wingers would not care, but instead would applaud to the rafters. Trump, as a result, still remains as a high-polling part (and front-running fart) of the gop-er mix.
Another factor not to dismiss lightly is that the normal rules of political campaigns and candidates don't much apply to Trump. Unlike any other character in the 2016 presidential race on either side (sorry, Hilary the Hoary), Trump is a pop culture fixture, a household name nationwide, and people listen to any level of psychotic babble that comes out his mouth, just like they do so many Kim Kardashians and Bruce Jenners. (It must drive the left-slanted "mainstream" media crazy that they can't just bury Trump in a quick pile of shit like they do most garden-variety deranged right-winger candidates who speak out of the P-C-turn (where's Sarah Palin when the mainstream media really needs her?!?)).
Meantime, in the midst of all this complete madness, I get the pleasure of continuing to be highly entertained by the circus that is Trump (not to mention all the political and media fools who follow his every antic like neutered sheep). As I recall noting more than once in this space in 2011-12, I don't think I could ever vote for this crazy man (even if he turns Independent), but he gives me a good laugh at least once every day, for better or for worse. Apart from myself, there's no other person on the planet to whom I could give such a high compliment.
Friday, July 17, 2015
We Gots a Howler: "Loud Sex Noises Land Woman in Jail"! But Why Ain't Her Old Man in the Can for Not Muzzling Her?!?
Leaving aside the issue of how much of a grouchy, lifeless curmudgeon you'd have to be to bother cops over a blustering broad who likes to moan and groan to the tune of the ol' power drill, why doesn't the boyfriend also have some criminal culpability here?
If you have a canine that yaps all night, it's incumbent upon you to muzzle the mutt or cage it indoors. It's called being a responsible pet owner. But here, by all accounts, Wailing Gemma was runnin' loose around the joint without so much as even one of those little red balls in her snout.
Now while I guess I can understand this shrieking shag-master being locked in the pound a while to cool off, her male owner should get a little lockup time too. Equal justice, equal treatment. That's the only non-chauvinistic outcome here.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
democrat party Has Moved "Far to the Left," "That's Not My democrat party," Laments Its Newest Presidential Candidate, Jim Webb, As He Exhibits a Firm Grasp of the Obvious...
But let's get to his statements above. He states obvious truths, but truths nonetheless. The modern extreme incarnation of the democrat party bears no resemblance whatsoever to the "Democratic Party" that I grew up with in the 70s, 80s, or even 90s. John F. Kennedy would be primaried in today's democrat party.
It's the party of leftist goofs, goons, loons, louts, and nuts. It has no place for either centrists or people of good will. Its leftist base consists of only 20-25% of the American people (hence my phrase, leftist 20 percenters). Yet the party wields such incredible power. It equally frightens and disgusts me at the same time.
It's for these reasons that I'm confident that I will never vote for another member of the democrat party ever again in my lifetime. Not that I'll be voting for too many gop-ers -- the party split between (1) do-nothing establishment fat cats and (2) right-wing freaks.
On a positive note, however, I shall now await with bated breath the next stop-the-press pronouncements we receive from this Webb character. Maybe after he informs us that the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, he can enlighten us on how Hilary and Bernie Sanders are, like, really really really old. Or that Donald Trump's crazy and Chris Christie fat. Hell, at least he'll be spouting a lot more truth than any of these other candidates.
Friday, July 10, 2015
My, Aren't We Presumptuous! Entitled Hilary Reportedly to Give Certain Bedroom at the White House to Her "Gatekeeper," Huma's Weiner...
The above-pictured Huma's Weiner, for example, will reportedly be getting a quaint second-story bedroom once occupied by a "journalist" lackey to Eleanor Roosevelt. Ooh, the Goose Pimples running up and down my right tit at the thought!
But that aside, I'm assuming this means that notorious democrat party dick Anthony's Weiner also now has an inside opening to penetrate the White House, since Huma's Weiner is his old lady. Anthony's Weiner (who should now be the Mayor of the Big Apple if not for his incessant Twitter dong scandals) could certainly use such an arousal of his/its diminished visibility.
Which may lead me to open up a prediction pool for how long Anthony's Weiner can last before he has to pull out of the White House following another late-night social media dong blast to the ladies. I'm gonna give that little prick about one weekend, myself.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
A Real P-C Pickle: New Ozone Smoke Emission Regulations from Obama's EPA Threaten My Ability to Burn Bad Stuff...
But here's the problem: How in the hell am I supposed to hold a good confederate or American flag burning out back if I'm just gonna get my ass fined in the process?
What if I want to set a match to those old Dukes of Hazzard DVDs to demonstrate that I'm all on-board with the program? Can't even do that.
And forget about catering a gay wedding on my property. I won't be able to heat up so much as a single bratwurst for the reception to follow. What, am I supposed to haul in a bunch of Burger King from down the street?
Sigh. These 20 percenters really do need to communicate a little better amongst themselves before they ordain these various edicts upon us. Much of the time, it seems like the left fist doesn't have a freakin' clue what the left cheek is doing. How's a good little follower to comply?
Friday, July 3, 2015