Friday, June 27, 2014

Racist Lush? New Book Recounts Dinner Last Year Where Hillary Reportedly Unleashed "Booze-Fueled Rant" at President Obama, Hurling F-Bombs His Way & Calling Him a "JOKE"!

Goodness Gracious! Of all things I might accuse Hillary Clinton of being, the terms racist and lush never would've come to mind before now. But to what other conclusion can a reasonable mind come after reading these items from the new book, "Blood Feud: The Clintons vs. The Obamas," by former Newsweek editor and presidential book author Edward Klein (links at bottom):

- At the college reunion dinner with friends last May, the 66-year-old Hillary reportedly got all liquored up on wine and really started letting the F-bombs, assorted other expletives, and insults fly towards President Obama and his historic presidency.

- Hillary reportedly got things started with a bang by ranting that "the story of the Obama presidency" is that Obama has "no hand on the fuckin' tiller!" (That being the functional equivalent of saying that "Obama's presidency is a fuckin' rudderless ship!").  Not nice.

- Then after some belly-aching about how Obama "can't ever be bothered" with anything, Obama's heir apparent Hillary reportedly started to get personal, calling Obama a "joke" and an "incompetent."

- Hillary even questioned Obama's honesty, veracity, integrity and truthfulness, reportedly spouting that, "You can't trust the motherfucker! His word isn't worth shit!"

- As a final special added attraction and show stopper, Hillary reportedly compared Obama to lawless crook and disgraced former gop-er president Richard M. Nixon, lowering this boom: "The IRS targeting the tea party, the Justice Department's seizure of AP phone records and James Rosen's emails -- all these scandals. Obama's allowing his hatred for his enemies to screw him the way Nixon did."  Ouch.

Having now digested the entirety of that sad rant, let me ask you something, democrat party followers:  THIS is the person that you've ordained for several years now to be the chosen successor to the first Black President in history? REALLY?!?

Think about that for a second. This woman not only opposes Obama's decisions and policies, but also downright disdains the man on a completely personal level! How in the hell can she NOT be a racist?!? And don't even get me started on the boozin'!

And what about you, African-American voters everywhere? You really gonna vote for this racist old white battle axe lush? At the 98-99 percent clip that you voted for Obama? Anything with a "D" next to the name? If so, let me tell ya: You're better than that, folks. And not sayin' vote for the gop-ers, neither. Rather Go Independent. It really is the only way to be. But your choice.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Give Him 15 Yards For Trippin': "'Police Officer of the Year' Caught on Video Tripping Students As They Stormed Soccer Field." Good For Him!

He's Georgetown cop George Bermudez, and apparently a former "police officer of the year." And he oughta get the award again this year! That's him above trippin', pushin' and takin' down various teenage shits trying to storm the damn field after the game's over...

But instead of commendation, the Georgetown Police have stuck George's ass on leave. Good God! Got over-reaction over there!

I applaud Officer George. Student freaks who rush the field are trespassing and should all be tossed in the freakin' hoosegow as far as I'm concerned. Hell, they get off light when all they get is a little trip or a kick in the keyster.

I wouldn't be so charitable to these little goofs if they ever made me a cop (damn pesky background checks): For starters, I'd throw a few clotheslines right at the ol' windpipe, Ben Davidson style...

Then a couple 'a hand thrusts to the junk later, I'd pick up a couple of them shits and deliver 'em the tombstone piledriver -- right there on the 50 yard line!

And if I got so much as one word of lip from any of these little louts, I'm make 'em eat their freakin' shoe before they could set one foot outside the hashmarks.

Next day, they put me on leave and I gets to sleep in every day for a month. Now that shit would be cool. Put me in, coach.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Non-Cooperative: NBC News' White House Bloviator Chuck Todd Actually Declares Obama Presidency "Over" in the Eyes of the Public Based on Recent Dismal Poll Numbers. Man, Chuck Could Sure Use Some Straightenin' Out!

Doesn't this Todd guy know you can't just go around talking like that?  Who the fuck does this guy think he is, anyway?  I say give his sorry beltway reporter ass the complete Nixonian treatment, Mr. President.  Just like you're best at!

First, get the IRS all up in this dude's shit, Mr. President, since he's obviously a racist and likely a closet tea partier. He deserves it!  Just be sure to Deep Six into oblivion any and all emails discussing the need for the harassment (errr, attitude adjustment).

Next, Mr. President, get Holder and Justice, or the NSA or CIA, or whomever the fuck may be required, to get up and runnin' on this asshole's phones, computers, mobile devices, texts, email accounts, etc., etc. The whole nine yards.  The full-on Sharyl Attkisson playbook and then some, Your Majesty. Remember: You can't make a bull into a steer without breaking a few laws.

And just for good measure, Mr. President, crank up your social media minions to put this enemy in his place. Methinks there's nary a disagreeable opinion out there that can't be squelched out with a few well-chosen boycott campaigns, calls for firing, and/or hashtag movements. Sky's the limit, baby!

So Let's Move on this, Mr. President!  Allowing critical or dissenting viewpoints like Todd's to go undeterred and unpunished simply cannot be tolerated in any civil leftist society. You know that! So that's my pep talk. Now get to work on it, ya silly 20 percenter bastard, ya!

Monday, June 16, 2014

That's One Bigoted Bird: "Racist Swan Accused of Attacking Ethnic Minorities"...

The swan (and obvious Obama opponent) lives at England's exclusive Warwick University, and it's apparently the most intelligent feathered animal to land on the planet since Big Bird -- capable in its little bird brain of fully formed beliefs of racial superiority over humans of certain colors or nationalities...

The linked story (and no, it's not from The Onion) reports that Warwick students have "revealed that the swan only appears to target students from ethnic minorities."  Say Indian and Italian students at the University:

- "It's bizarre, she doesn't seem to like foreigners and attacks them."

- "She's a true right-winger that's for sure -- they certainly seem to be racially motivated incidents."

- "My friend was on the bridge and he was eating and the swan just randomly started biting off his jeans."

And apparently this "white wing supremacist" has some bigoted buddies flapping around there as well:

- "I'm from India, and they [the swans] attack me especially, they focus straight on me."

- "These swans are very annoying, and the students feel as though they're being bullied."

- "I think they don't like too many Indians in England -- maybe swans here are a little bit racist."

- "We were warned that the swans will be a bit feisty this time of year, but they go for me all year round."

No word yet whether this web-footed grand wizard and her Nazi feathered friends have any known affiliations or connection to the American tea party or the gop-ers. Maybe MSNBC or CBS can get on that one?

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Shot Heard 'Round the World: In an Historic Victory for Political Gridlock in DC, Virginia gop-er Primary Voters Kick gop-er House Majority Leader Eric Cantor's Ass to the Curb in Favor of Unknown Stammering Political Lightweight Dave Brat!

This big fat Brat had no money against the Cantor machine, but still won, signaling a complete grassroots revolt against beltway insider Cantor -- the like of which Attila the Hun could've seized upon to whip Cantor's ass in this primary.  At the heart of all this was the highly contentious political buzz phrase known as "amnesty."

But I won't bore the audience here with all the political particulars about that which I'm speaking.  Suffice it to say that democrat party leftists everywhere know exactly what the hell I'm talking about!  Looks like we won't have to be returning to the dark days of 2009 and early 2010 quite so fast, right leftists?!?  (Sing it with me:  "Gridlock, Sweet Gridlock, the Alternative to You is Hemlock!...").

Which to me is the funniest thing about last night's "political upset for the ages" in Virginia (a House Majority Leader losing in a primary has apparently never occurred before in American history):  One right-winger gop-er vanquishes another right-winger gop-er in a state primary, and it's the leftist democrat party minions this day who are the most upset and worried about it!  S-p-e-c-i-a-l!

So Ha Ha, leftist 20 percenters!  Eat your kooky little leftist hearts out!  And as this post demonstrates, you don't only have the right-wingers against you these days, you creeps. But allow me now to break back into song -- "Gridlock, Sweet Gridlock...!!!"!...

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Old Laid: 31-Year-old "Extreme Boy Toy Takes 91-Year-Old Girlfriend Home to Meet His Mom (Who's 41 Years Younger Than Her)" -- Says the Sex Is Great!

Ya know, it's one thing for a dude to refer to his broad as the old lady. But when the dame is, in actuality, pushing 100 years old, then maybe that's taking things just a bit too far down the road of literal translation?

But not so, says the young Kyle Jones of Augusta, Georgia, of his budding January-December romance:  "Everyone's brain is wired differently, some guys prefer blondes, some brunettes, some like other guys -- I like old ladies." And that's certainly one way of putting it...

Jones and his 91-year-old geezer girl, Marjorie McCool (couple pictured above), reportedly "have an active sex life and can't keep their hands off each other." Or is that just her arthritis and gout kicking in?

Regardless, this old ball-and-chain Marjorie can't reasonably expect to keep her 60-years-younger play thing all to herself, now can she? A milky millennial treasure like Jones should be shared with all the ossified old battle axes out there still capable of moving their legs, no?

Jones takes that very sentiment to heart, saying he is "currently dating five women over age 60, including Marjorie" -- for whom he's made a bit of an Dutch oven exception: "Most of the time, the average age I go for is between 60 and 80," he says.

And his 91-year-old grizzled girlfriend gots no problem with Jones' extra-curriculars with her fellow enfeebled: "In the beginning I got jealous of his other women but he keeps coming back to me and tells me I'm the best," says the moth-eaten Marjorie.

And what's not to like about this decayed old fossil? Especially with bedroom anecdotes like this one straight from the old plug's mouth: "I wear sexy outfits to bed, [but] I try to keep my bra on though because I don't have much left." Which begs the question: What's the going rate on an old bat boob job?

Friday, June 6, 2014

Rack Attack: "Topless Women Take to the Streets of New York City to Protest Internet Censorship" As Part of the "Free the Nipple" Movement!

They're forced to keep their cans covered up most of the time, and they're mad as hell about it!!! This week bra-less broads from the burgeoning "Free the Nipple" movement hit the streets of the Big Apple to protest the current perceived "War on Boobs" (Allah-Damn gop-ers!), Internet restrictions on bare bazongas, and the fact that exposing honkers in public is still "illegal in 37 states."

Must say, I love the cause (which takes a cue from the recently topless Scout Willis of the Bruce and Demi Moore brood), and not just because I hate censorship. Let's just say they had me at bra removal. But I am given pause by what I surmise might be an unintended consequence of these dirty pillow protests. Because, see, here's the thing...

I want to see more of these hot little numbers sashaying around raw-top in public protests. And if these topless toots's get their way, guess what happens next? Correctamundo! No more tata marches. Which would be an Allah-Damn Shame!

So paining me as it might, I've little choice but to come out against these fun bag floozies: Here's to Internet chest puppy censorship! And keep them melon laws on the books, 37 states! Whup -- Time now to hit the bricks again with them bazooms, busty boob broads!

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Man Is a Loon: REM's Michael Stipe Shits On Legacy of RNR Hall of Famers Nirvana Saturday, Claims ONLY Things They Rebelled Against in 1990 Were Right-Wingers! REALLY? Stifle Stipe, Since You Were Clearly in a Coma That Year!...

I grew up in the very same time period.  Nirvana's guys were about a year or two older than me.  And I can't think of a rock band in history who officially RETIRED AN ENTIRE DECADE to obscurity other than Nirvana.  They burst on the scene, and basically said, No More 80's and All Your Bullshit Pop Culture -- Here We Are Now!

And that totally Rock'n'Roll attitude had little to do with "Iran Contra" and rebelling ONLY against gop-ers and right-wingers.  I LIVED that era as an 18-20-something, and I'd like to officially inform Michael Stipe -- who obviously was asleep and more infatuated with such influential material as blacking out his breasts (pic immediately above) during that same period -- of the following:

We were angry with EVERYTHING, Asshole (CHECK, e.g., the Awesome Group Called N.W.A.) -- everything authority -- including idiot leftists like you Stipe, and not merely your fellow idiot right-wingers. Most of the rage, like Nirvana, was distinctly non-political.  And fortunately, many of us STILL ARE VERY ANGRY with ALL OF YOU!

We have NO respect whatsoever for group-thinking leftists like Stipe or right-winger world views.  We say Go Fuck Yourselves, the whole Fuckin' Lot of Ya partisan ideologue morons, goofs, goons, loons, kooks, fools, ghouls, and louts!

So here I still am now.  Enter-Fuckin'-Tain Me! Or just bore and irritate the hell out of me like a talking-points-spouting, never-individual-thinking, garden-variety leftist like Stipe and basically every other leftist 20 percenter I've ever encountered (BIG YAWN!!!).  Finally, a Memo to the Kids:  Never Be One of Those Guys -- You're A LOT Better Than That, Kids!