Friday, January 31, 2014

New Study: "Alcohol Can Boost Your Immune System"...

And here I'd thunk it was just a freak that I haven't had a cold since '97.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Lost in the Fifties Tonight: Heir Apparent to Obama, Hillary Clinton, Goes June Cleaver, Says She Hasn't Driven a Car Since 1996!

The 2012 democrat party campaign rhetoric about gop-ers wanting to return the country to a '50s era "Mad Men" environment was at times entertaining, but allow me to introduce pot (-lovin' leftists) to kettle over here...

From the out-of-touch, buried-in-the-past file this week comes Hillary's remark that she hasn't gotten behind the wheel of a motor vehicle in nearly 20 years (link below).  For most, this might smack directly of a comfortable, fat-cat, DC-insider, elitist aristocrat (which Hillary pretty much is -- eat your heart, Mitt).

But I had a different primary takeaway (go figure): For the next leader of a 20 percent group that likes to constantly bombard us with lowest common denominator, intelligence-insulting, little leftist buzz slogans like "Progress," "Believe" and "Move On," Hillary sure sounds like an ossified old relic of a long bygone era...

The '50s, that is, when millions of American broads never drove cars nor learned how because, by golly, that was the old man's realm -- along with working a job, earning money, and deciding when to bang Gennifer on the side.

If Hillary next shows up on one of those late-nite infomercials hawking old "Ozzie and Harriet" and "Father Knows Best" video collections, I will be unsurprised, but also a bit worried:

Because that'll mean she needs money in the face of a primary challenge threatening her 2016 anointment. But alas, I just don't see Elizabeth Warren, Jerry Brown or Joe Biden cuttin' the mustard on Barbara Billingsley's tea sandwich, do you?

Monday, January 27, 2014

The New Army Corpse-Men: "US Military Considers Replacing 1000s of Troops with Robots." How Convenient!...

Oh MY God!: This'll be Obama's next excuse for the ever-disappointing and never-improving job and labor force numbers on his watch...

No need to blame ATM's or other pesky civilian sector technological advances.  Nope, this time just blame the military for incessantly growing record numbers of American workers leaving the job force in an unending rotten economy. And His Majesty holds all the strings over the new excuse!

Ya know, I need to look into this whole ordained Monarch thing someday. I'd even offer up concessions beforehand limiting such things as enemies lists, executive orders, recess appointments, and Nixonian targeting efforts. But then, I'm far more compromising and diplomatic than His Highness. Real far that'll ever get me!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Coolest. Hot Broad. EVER? Rihanna Smokes Cigarettes and Shows Her Bare Ass & Topless Torso on New Brazilian Beach Photo Shoot!

The only possible things missing here are some beers, some greasy eats, and some other hot little number joining in on the fun!

But I'll leave Utopia for the leftists. Oftentimes pert-near perfect is about as good as it can (or needs to) get.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Has He Been Smokin' the Tree Again?!? Obama's Claims About the Safety of Pot Use Reportedly Directly Contradict His Own White House "Drug Czar"...

Obama ordains in a new New Yorker article that marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol or cigarettes, as he extolled the virtues of states like Colorado and Washington legalizing the Scooby Doobie.  Unfortunately, the official stance of Obama's "National Drug Control Policy" (posted on the White House's website, although I doubt for much longer) purportedly says just the opposite.  According to reports on the site:

"Marijuana smoke has significantly more carcinogens than tobacco smoke [and] does something that alcohol does not; it causes permanent brain damage, including lowering of I.Q. [in teens]" (link below).

As such, Obama's Bizarro-World comments reportedly "have anti-drug leaders worried about negative repercussions among youth."  Posits right-winger publication Washington Times (for whatever it might be worth), "Taxpayers have spent billions of dollars warning about drugs, often about marijuana, but these efforts were dramatically undercut by [Obama's] comments."

So, not only is Obama arguably the most leftist president in American history (in a country which is not), and not only would he miss the road towards a balanced budget if the alternate route went 2 feet then cliff, but apparently his own words are also now a bad influence on all the kids. Quite the legacy.

But I am lookin' for something positive to say here, to try to give this individual the benefit of the doubt. Best I can do:

Maybe Obama isn't actually as much of an uninformed, buffoonish idiot as W Bush was, and instead he was just lying again? That way, Obama could still bitterly cling to being the so-called "smartest guy in every room" (even if he may fraudulently falsify things at times when convenient -- not to mention that I've never found him overly bright). But hey, I know 20 percent who still "Believe."

Monday, January 20, 2014

Glass Jaw: "Obama's Half-Brother 'Floored' About President's LYING About Meeting Him." "Floored"? Really?

Let me give ya a little piece of advice over there, half-brother: If Obama lying (closely akin to Sun Rising, Mick Fighting, Kraut Drinking, tea partier Coping, etc.) truly "floors" you, then watch out you don't start up an MMA or boxing career anytime soon. You're likely to be KO'd by a damn breeze.

(Like Victor Ortiz.  Over there.)

Friday, January 17, 2014

Mixed [Fun] Bags: Bountifully Bosomy Blonde Broad Explains All the Pros and Cons of Having Size LLL Bazongas...

She's 46-year-old "glamour model" Lacey Wildd, the star of a recent episode of TLC's "My Strange Addiction." Her mission in life seems to involve educating the world about what it means to sport huge size LLL jugs 24/7 -- both the positives and a few pesky negatives of everyday life.

Her mighty melons may be fake jobs, but she says there's nothing fake about toting 'em around every day.  To wit, and first on the bright side of the honkers:

- Her sizable honeysuckles allow Wildd to perform an assortment of "bizarre party tricks"  for one and all.

- This includes using her comely chest as a drinks tray, "proudly balancing two champagne glasses without a wobble."

- She then pulls out her Halloween specials, dimming the lights and taking a flashlight to her ample headlights: "I've gots my own jack-o'-lanterns!," Wildd nips.

But Wildd also explains that she goes bust when it comes to many of life's garden-variety chores and activities:

- She complains that she can't spot her own feet or hold her kids because of her curvaceous charleys. Figuring out when she needs a pedicure is pert-near impossible.

- And forgettabout lying down on her back, which she can only stomach for short spells before becoming "faint." Says Wildd: "I feel like I'm being suffocated."  (Just hope she gots 'a quick old man).

- This leads to some odd contortions and maneuvers in the sack, where Wildd says she employs "four or five pillows to keep her propped up at a 30 degree angle" at night.

- And givin' mommy a hug ain't so easy for Wildd's young daughter, who explains: "I just give it [a hug] under her boobs so they don't crush me."

And just when you thought that a bafflingly buxom not-so-little number like this has now accomplished it all, Wildd says she still has two big mountains left to climb: As in upsizing to a size QQQ so she will claim the World Title of "The Largest Augmented Breasts" Out There.

Wildd has already raised $23,000 and change in donations for the surgery, saying "I want to leave a legacy to my children" before "the boobs retire." No clear yet if the knockers are considering an early retirement, or age 66, or a diversified strategy in which one donkey-kong starts drawin' while the other can keeps earnin'. (Kids: Never stick your Cage Balls all in one basket).

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Obama Economy After 5 Plus, Long Years:
"1600 Applicants Flood Maryland Ice Cream Factory For 36 Jobs"...

On the bright side of things, this joint is likely to have a crew comprised of some of the most talented and over-qualified ice cream factory workers in human history. "Progress"!

Monday, January 13, 2014

Oh, an Aristocrat! "FORKGATE" Engulfs Leftist New York City Mayor Bill "d"e Blasio, As He Takes Knife & Fork to Pizza Rather Than Eating It Like We Average Joe's Do...

Make no mistake, "d"e Blasio is every leftist's wet dream nationwide: A pure leftist who thinks everything about bigger government and taxes (even in a never-ending rotten economy) is good, and everything about you is an idiot (in need of his infinitely intelligent and compassionate care over there)...

The leftist 20 percenters love having a bona fide member of their ranks as The Boss of America's largest city. Besides, when "d"e Blasio's reign does go south (which it will), they'll just blame it on Bush, Climate Change, or how they "Inherited This Mess."  And they'll pretty much get away with it too.

Regardless, just look at this goof in the above pictures! Really??? Stabbing at a slice of Big Apple Pie like he was His Majesty's guest at an Obama State Dinner? You would have been much better served to have overslept again and missed this appearance, Mr. Mayor.

Because you know the common folks out on your own city street, not to mention the common folks on my street over here in flyover territory, about as well as you know how to work an alarm clock, pal.

Have fun with your choice of Mayor over there, Big Apple: Just watch out he don't snap off your stem while his off-hand snatches away the rest of things when you ain't lookin'. Likely with a knife and fork, no less!

Friday, January 10, 2014

Party Poopers: New Gallup Poll Reports that "Record-High 42% of Americans Identify as Independents"!

The record number 42% of Americans who currently identify themselves as Independents compares to a measly 31% who for some reason identify with the leftist democrat party, and a paltry 25% who actually find reason to align with the gop-er party.

So it's not even close: I stand with a lot more people than the group-thinking, dinosaur-minded minions who inhabit the democrat party and gop-er party.  I'd like just one of those slimes to tell me again, right now, for the 10,000th time in my life, how I need to "pick a side"...

Because I made my choice years ago, you creeps. And there's a lot more people on my side of things nowadays than on yours, you right-winger and leftist louts. Stick that in your partisan ideologue pipes and smoke it, why don't ya?

And just realize, democrat party and gop-er party slugs, you are now clearly in the minority of thought in this country. You may currently have the power and make all the noise, but you move incessantly farther towards the fringes with each passing day...

Your numbers decline. Every day your extreme world views become further exposed for what they are (i.e., complete crocks of shit). And it couldn't be happenin' to a nicer bunch of kooks, loons, goons, fools and goofs.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

"Professor Blames 'Southern White Radicals' for Obamacare Debacle." Hint #1 for Spotting a "Radical": Look Straight At Any Person Who Accuses Another of Being One...

Ever notice that just about the only people who ever use the term "radical" are, themselves, "radicals"?  As in this leftist New York professor's loony statement above. Or when a right-winger accuses a leftist of being radical.  Pot, meet Kettle, you two skunkwad extremes.

Indeed, the "radicals" in the country are never too hard to spot. Look no further than the leftist 20 percenter base of the democrat party and the right-winger base of the gop-er party. These people refer to themselves variously by the "l," "p" and "c" words, but they'll always be leftists and right-wingers to me. How radical!

And alas, I was just happy -- in reading leftist Prof's words -- that Midwestern White Independents aren't the ones responsible for the Obamacare debacle. Already being a racist for opposing Obama, I need to also be blamed for the Obamacare monstrosity like I need a damn hole in the head over here!

Monday, January 6, 2014

The Don Had Been Slippin': Martin Scorsese Makes One F*ck of a Comeback, Shattering the All-Time Single Film F-Bomb Record in "The Wolf of Wall Street"...

It's good to see this old greaseball back on top. I thought he'd lost it.  Not for nuttin', but Goodfellas and Casino were released a long, long time ago now...

Both them pictures from the first half of the '90s crashed the All-Time Hollywood Top 20 for most F-Bombs dropped in one film (Casino at 422; Goodfellas at 300). 

Then came 2006's Departed, which was to be Scorsese's return to form.  Hardly.  That picture didn't even crack the F-Bomb Top 20.  A "Bomb" indeed.

But just when you when ya might've thunked that you could keep down the King of the Multi-Minute Dolly Shot, the old geezer makes one of the most astonishing Hollywood comebacks since Michael came out the shithouse with more than just his dick in his hands...

According to the linked report, Scorsese's new The Wolf of Wall Street has not only hit the Top 20, but is now Numero Uno all-time -- clocking in with an incredible 506 F-Bombs in total. And it wasn't even close (the previous #1 -- 1999's Summer of Sam -- sported a measly 435 F-Bombs).  Mother Fucker!

Friday, January 3, 2014

Not a Mundane Daily Detail: "Tourist Walks Off Pier While Browsing on Facebook." And Who Wouldn't Be So Enthralled with the Facebook?

From The Guardian:  "A tourist is lucky to be alive after she plunged into Melbourne's Port Phillip Bay while browsing on Facebook, police say. The woman was walking along St. Kilda pier engrossed in social media when she walked off the pier into the dark and chilly water."

But take just one look at the Facebook sometime, and it's easy to see why someone would be so captivated with attention such as to take a header into the ocean while browsing. I'm talking your prototypical, high-interest Facebook nuggets like these (based on personal past recollections and a few saved ones):

- "Just left grocery store. On way 2 pick up the kids. Just hit a pothole. Ouch!"

- "Check out my new foto album from are Branson fam vacation.  Billy did da go-carts!"

- "My moms step-uncle's 3rd cousin on the utter side died 10 years ago 2day. RIP, Bubba."

- "I'm So Excited: If Kristi H heres 1 more word on hear bout anything serious or political, then yer da-friended. Dont even pass go. Head strate to dafriend."

- "I picked up Bobbie Sue's prom dress just now down ats the square. If she can squeeze in2 it, she's gonna look real purdy!"

- "The old lady is-a leavin my arse and takin them kids wit her. I need me a Big To-Do to lawyer this. A Big Whoop-To-Do!"

- "Yeah, I'm down 2 the Sonic. Anyone wanna a corn dog?"

You know, come to think of it, maybe this Facebook-browsing broad walking straight off a pier into cold dark water wasn't so inadvertent.