Friday, December 31, 2010

It Was 40 Years Ago Today…

...when Paul McCartney filed a lawsuit in England to officially dissolve The Beatles' legal partnership. And in the immortal words of legendary classic rock DJ Dick Bartley – The Party Was Over…

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Obama The Chickenshit.

The most chickenshit president of my lifetime:

(1) Incessant recess appointments to bypass Senate confirmation (link below);

(2) Also avoiding the confirmation process by appointing myriad "Czars" to federal positions of power, most of whom inhabit the most extremist wing of the 20-percenter contingent;

(3) Overbearing use of federal regulatory power and new rulemaking when he's unable to foist some element of his 20-percenter agenda through the Congress;

(4) Ram-rodding widely unpopular and massive pieces of legislation through the Congress on Christmas Eve, Sundays, etc., when no one's paying attention;

(5) Ignoring election results and continuing to jam his 20-percenter agenda through the Congress in a lameduck session;

(6) For the first time in American history, ramming a Treaty into ratification during a lameduck session while America focuses on Christmas shopping during the days before Christmas (am I still allowed to use the word "Christmas," BTW?).

Of course, the typical third-grade "Two Wrongs Make a Right" retort of the 20-percenters: "Yeah, but you republicans have done that stuff too." Well leftists, in case you haven't noticed, I ain't no damn republican. They can kiss my ass, same as you.

And as a matter of fact, no republican or democrat party president in my lifetime has ever utilized all of these various chickenshit techniques and, even when they've used some of them, it's been only a fraction as much as His Majesty Obama has used them.

Sorry if I refuse to tote the politically correct line. If I did that, I would say: "I disagree with Obama on policy, but I think he's a nice person and I like him personally." Well, I don't like him. Not at all. He's an arrogant, condescending, thin-skinned, out-of-touch far leftist elitist -- the worst of the worst that the 20-percenters have to offer. And I can only sit here blogging about dumb crimes and Brett Favre's dong for so long before I feel compelled to express myself. I don't call this thing The Independent Rage for nothing.

And my questions at the end of this year remain the same: What did this great country ever do to deserve 12 years of the likes of W Bush and Obama? To deserve the current corrupt and extreme-controlled incarnations of the republican and democrat party? I guess maybe it's our punishment for making one too many reality series.


In perhaps the very final installment of the Brett Favre/Jenn Sterger Sexting/Donging Scandal, NFL Don Roger Goodell decrees from on high that (1) while Favre will be fined $50,000 for failing to fully cooperate with the NFL’s investigation into allegations that Favre sexted/donged photos of his junk to football reporter/eye candy babe Jenn Sterger, (2) the NFL has basically reached a hung verdict on the issue of whether Favre actually committed the dirty deed.

Put another way, and to quote NFL replay nomenclature, the evidence was too “inconclusive” to support a finding that Favre donged a pic of his package to Sterger’s cellphone. More specifically, Godfather Goodell says that he “could not conclude” that Favre committed that act since “forensic analysis” failed to “establish” conclusively that Favre donged the X-rated snapshots of Mr. Johnson to Ms. Sterger.

In the carefully worded language of Boss Goodell, neither Favre nor Sterger was exonerated nor convicted with respect to their stories. In short, Don Vito Goodell threw up his hands and screamed, “I’ve had enough ‘a this – whatsamatta wid you?” He then threw the case out of court, only slapping Favre on the wrist for his failure to cooperate with the investigation as much as the NFL might have liked.

So what’s the truth here? Who the hell knows. But it’s been a very funny (and page-view-friendly) story to follow. Methinks (and I am speculating) that Goodfella Goodell knows damn well what the truth is, but for whatever reasons is falling back to the ol’ “hung verdict” excuse. But hell, what do I really care? This is all total tabloid crap to begin with (and as stated, great for page views! Must it end?!?).,0,2986880.story

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I Know the Feeling of Picking Up Merchandise Too Big For My Britches, But on a Burglary Heist? Dim-Witted Burglars Snatch TV Too Big For Getaway Car!

It was circa 1999 at d’Bronx pizza parlor in the Westport district of Kansas City, Missouri. Thinking I was merely ordering an extra-large (perhaps 16” or so) pizza, I made the mistake of ordering the joint’s “Party Size” pie (loaded with probably 8-10 toppings, since I’m not a single-topping sort of guy). Little did I know that such monster was a full 30-incher (pictured above) and quite voluminous to boot.

My first clue that trouble was in store was when another person had to help me haul the gigantic pizza out to my car. And that’s when the fun began, seeing as I then drove a white 1996 Ford Mustang GT convertible (I sure miss that car). No way was that pie going to fit into the little tiny trunk, and we also couldn’t figure out a way to squeeze it through the front seat and into the back seat.

Luckily it was a convertible, so as a last gasp effort I was able to take the top down and angle the giant box (nearly vertically) in that miniscule back seat. Needless to say, the pizza was thoroughly ruined because it all slid down to the bottom of the box, forming a rather sickening, gooey blob of toppings and dough in that part of the container.

That monster costs 75 bucks today, and was probably 55-60 smackers back in the day. What a waste – but at least I paid for it and wasn’t trying to knock over the pizzeria or anything.

In contrast, and speaking of wastes, that brings me to the curious case of some dumbass burglars in Sacramento. Not only were these dudes slimeballs, they were also particularly moronic sleazewads. Police say they tried to rip off a giant television from a local home, only to get the TV out to their Lexus and find that the TV wouldn’t fit in the car!

I guess they at least had the minimal level of intelligence necessary to ascertain that cutting the TV into pieces would serve no constructive re-sale burglarly purpose, since they just dumped the TV on the curb and hightailed it for the hills. (They could have at least had the courtesy to return the TV to the living room since they couldn't take it!).

A neighbor reportedly witnessed this sorry charade and called the cops, who have already made one arrest in the case and are looking for two additional suspects. They might want to check out the local kindergarten, funny farm or state capitol building since what the cops are looking for ain’t exactly the two sharpest knives in the proverbial kitchen drawer.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

If Obama Has Time on His Hands to Contact NFL Teams About Personnel Decisions, Maybe He Can Next Contact the Kansas City Chiefs About Their Backup QB?

The news over the past day that Obama actually found time in his schedule to contact the Philadelphia Eagles and express his presidential approval for the Eagles allowing Michael Vick to play on their team (BTW, why didn't this occur 2 years ago when the Eagles first signed him?) really got me thinking:

Maybe next Obama can place a call to Kansas City Chiefs' General Manager Scott Pioli and advise Pioli to give Chiefs' backup quarterback Brodie Croyle his walking papers when the season is over? Here in KC, the local radio sports talk is constantly filled with incessant and frankly boring pissing matches between haters and lovers of the Chiefs' starting QB Matt Cassel, with precious little discussion of backup Croyle. Maybe Obama can set a new agenda and change all of that?

And I am being halfway serious. Croyle is 0-10 as an NFL starter and in his last start led the Chiefs to an embarrassing shutout performance at the hands of the Chargers -- both being (0-10 and an NFL shutout) very difficult achievements for a starting NFL QB to pull of. In my opinion, Croyle is simply not a competent NFL backup -- and at a position where having a competent backup is crucial. While having a gun for an arm, he apparently has little in the way of touch, accuracy or the ability to survive more than about one game without being sidelined by injury.

Why the local fans and radio talking heads pay such scant attention to this obvious issue (and instead focus on Cassel 24-7), I have no clue. So Save Us, Obama! Send us down the right path, Oh Great One!!! Seriously: For once, we could actually use your help.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Palin Chainsaw Massacre: Just What I've Always Wanted to Do to Get Close to Nature -- Hack Down a Giant Tree with a Chainsaw!

That was Sarah Palin on this weekend's episode of her reality series, Sarah Palin's Alaska, as she tried to do her best logger impersonation by using a giant chainsaw to chop down a tree. Leatherface would be proud. For good measure, she also tried to operate some of the heavy machinery, using a hauler to move the giant trees around once they'd been cut.

Palin also used the occasion to get a blast in on environmentalists, whom she says are always sending her "nasty letters." She says that they're hypocrites because their letters use tree products -- pencil and paper. Really? Who the hell ever uses a pencil apart from a grade schooler or a sketch artist?

Regardless, there is apparently only one episode left of her reality show. Maybe she will try to extrapolate some of her newly found chainsaw skills into other areas. Working a guest shift in a slaughterhouse or butcher shop comes to mind. Or how about a shift cutting hair at the local beauty parlor?

Heck, she could even try to take things big time by answering a casting call when Hollywood invariably remakes the film Scarface. Although, when it comes to the prospect of seeing Sarah Palin in a shower scene, that's not quite what many of us previously had in mind.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Having Reportedly Given Up His Cancer Sticks For the Last Nine Months, Obama’s Now Taken Up Chewing?

Yes, I’m teasing rather inappropriately with that headline, as the “chewing” we’re talking about is Nicorette gum. But you know, if it did come to light that Obama takes a dip of chewing tobacco every now and then (“just a little pinch between the ol’ cheek and gum”), it might actually help him connect a tiny bit better with those of us here in middle America. That’s very “Average Joe” stuff, after all. And I wouldn’t even hold it against him, although I’d urge him to quit.

As for White House press secretary Robert Gibbs’ claim that Obama has quit smoking for nine months (which Gibbs says is the longest period during which Obama has gone without smoking in the eight years that Gibbs has known Obama): If that’s true (and I have no reason to question it), then I give Obama a lot of credit, even despite the fact that I am a very frequent critic of the president.

After all, quitting smoking (or any type of tobacco use) ain’t easy. It’s damn hard. But quitting is always the best thing for the smoker, his/her family, and anyone who cares about him/her. And Kids: In addition to never smoking cigarettes, never chew tobacco either.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Slimeball Christmas, Part 2: Have a Holly Nazi Christmas -- Newly Released Rare Photos Show Hitler & His Nazi Slugs Partying It Up on Christmas 1941.

Reportedly these photos were buried in a jar in the ground by the Nazi photographer and have only recently come to light. The linked story also explains that Hitler believed religion should have no part in his Nazi regime, and so:

"He replaced the Christian figure of Saint Nicholas with the Norse god Odin and urged Germans to celebrate the season as a holiday of the ‘winter solstice’, rather than Christmas. Out of sight at the top of the tree behind Hitler was a swastika instead of an angel, and many of the baubles carried runic symbols and iron cross motifs."

And given Hitler's desire to change the entire nature of Christmas, I can only imagine how the Christmas carols were altered in the Nazi reich -- what with such sleazewad propagandists as Josef Goebbels running around. I'm trying to picture the local Berlin soft-rock FM station and its wall-to-wall Christmas song December playlist. Its Top 10 in heavy rotation might have went something like this:

10. "I Saw Eva Kissing Der Fuhrer"
9. "Up on the Bunkertop"
8. "Yankee Got Run Over By a Panzer"
7. "The 12 Days of Blitzkrieg"
6. "Walking in a Winter Russian Hell"
5. "I'm Dreaming of a White Supremacy"
4. "The Little Hitler-Youth Boy"
3. "Adolph the Red-Hating Dictator"
2. "Martial Laws Is Coming to Town"
1. "Happy Xmas (War Is Just Gettin' Started)"

Honorable Mentions: "Go Tell It to the Gestapo"; "Jingle Bell Brownshirt".

Friday, December 24, 2010

Slimeball Christmas: Obama/GOP Tax Bill Loaded With Earmarks & Sweetheart Tax Gifts For Such Things as Hollywood, Railroad Tracks, Race Horses & Rum.

For many Americans, it seemed like a simple enough and easy-to-support tax compromise between Obama, the democrat party and republicans: The current income tax rates would be extended for all Americans for two additional years rather than having those rates go up during the ongoing recession. Apart from the far left loons, who could possibly be against that, right?

Problem is, the "tax bill" (signed this week by Obama) was also chock full of earmarks and specialized tax breaks of all sorts -- all completely unrelated to the issue of the income tax rate. And democrats and republicans alike jumped onboard faster than you can say Porky Pig. Business as usual in DC. (There was just an election a few months back, no?)

And that's the reason why I was opposed to the bill before it was passed. But even I didn't realize the full magnitude of some of the utter crap that these two parties jammed into the bill. A lot of that is just starting to come to light now. As the linked story details, the "tax bill" contains all kinds of horse$hit having nothing whatsoever to do with income tax rates. Here's some examples:

-Tax breaks for producing movies and TV shows in Hollywood.
-Rum subsidies for Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands.
-Grants to put up windmills.
-Grants for producing solar energy.
-Tax breaks for people to buy race horses.
-Tax breaks related to railroad track maintenance.
-Other breaks for motorsport racetrack upgrades.

And if you're like me and most Americans -- i.e. not really involved in a great deal of movie production, race horse ownership or windmill construction -- then Obama and these two parties have a special gift in this new bill that may just apply to you: For homeowners, an end to the tax break for paying local property taxes unless you pay a tax preparer to itemize your deductions on your tax return. The linked story says that two-thirds of tax filers don't itemize.

Put another way: The new bill sticks it to millions of average Americans who don't itemize by taking away one of their most basic tax breaks while at the same time including within the bill all sorts of sweetheart tax breaks for huge companies, Hollywood movie studios and players within the race horse industry.

Gee, thanks Obama, democrats and republicans (and Captain Morgan thanks you as well)! Just in time for Christmas too! With such wonderful politicians as all of you looking out for us this Christmas season, who needs the Grinch?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Making Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka and "Original Gangsta" New Jack Proud: Romanian Fool Leaps From Parliament Balcony to Protest Public Worker Wage Cuts!

His name is Adrian Sobaru -- nickname Sabu. He doesn't much care for the fact that the Romanian government, "mired in recession," recently cut wages for public employees. And damn it, he was going to do something about it! What, you might ask? Well, jump off a 23-foot-high Parliament balcony, of course! What else was he to do?

The linked story explains that Sabu first "clambered up on to the balcony" as the Romanian Prime Minister was getting ready to kick off a parliamentary session. Sabu wore a white T-shirt that proclaimed, among other things, "You've Pierced Us!" After a little window dressing consisting of some wild gestures and shouting, Sabu got down (literally) to the main event: Sabu took a flying leap off the balcony, apparently barely missing some of the lawmakers below as he crashed into the hard floor.

While this goof could have used to have had some sense knocked into him as a result of his little header, he reportedly suffered only minor injuries. What's more, his mouth was left completely intact. As they hauled his ass out on a stretcher, Sabu shouted "Freedom!" at the horrified onlookers. No word yet whether he'll now face criminal charges, although he will be forced, for some reason, to undergo "psychological counseling."

Creature of the House Nancy Pelosi Turns to Hollywood to Help "Rebrand" the Image of Herself & the Democrat Party.

Sorry, San Fran Nan, but that's sort of like trying to "rebrand" a floater in a Mississippi $hithouse. And I love how Steven Spielberg comes out with an immediate statement denying the Washington Post report. Good company you're keeping there, Stevie: Helping out the out-of-touch likes of Creature Pelosi and then denying a WaPo report with your best impression of Tricky Dick Nixon. Maybe next you can have Liddy hold his hand over a flame for a few minutes to scare us?

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Obama Signs "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Repeal for Gays in the Military. After Much Reflection, Here's My Thought...


Obama the great gay rights advocate who's on record opposing gay marriage. So let me get this straight: They're equal enough to kill, but not to marry? (Apologies to Barry McGuire). Hypocrite.

And on the subject of the troops, we now near the end of a year 2010 that has seen almost 500 American troops killed in that absolute hellhole they call Afghanistan -- easily the most deadly year yet among many deadly years in the now 10-year-long war. Maybe the media can next declare that an "Obama victory" too?

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Senate's Poised to Ratify Obama's "START" Treaty with Russia: More Lameduck Arrogance from the Democrat Party As Well As Republicans.

It's called the "START" nuclear arms treaty with Russia -- a deal negotiated by Obama and his minions, who are now about to jam it through the Senate during the lameduck session with most of the American population focusing their entire attention on their Christmas shopping. And more than a fourth of Senate republicans are onboard to help out. Chickenshit stuff.

Never before in American history has the Senate ratified a treaty during a lameduck session of Congress. Why have such an important matter decided by a bunch of people whom the American population has just voted out? Why isn't the most prudent and respectful course of action to wait until January, when this treaty -- which is not a simple one to digest or fully understand in terms of its risks, dangers and potential benefits -- can be fully debated and vetted by the body of lawmakers that America just voted in?

Hell, if at this point you go around spouting opinions that this treaty is either a great evil OR the greatest thing since sliced bread, then I have little respect for you as being much of anything other than a partisan hack. The fact is, we the public have not been privy to even a fraction of the information that these senators have received about the treaty and any side assurances (or threats) from the Russians that accompanied the treaty. Instead, that's all been fed to senators in secret hearings with Hillary Clinton and secret conversations with the Obama administration.

This is slimeball stuff, folks -- just what we've grown to always expect from the politicians in these two awful parties. They should be waiting until next year, but they refuse. They refuse to wait to allow the people we voted in to decide whether to ratify, and they refuse to wait until a point in time when the American public will be better informed and more focused on the issue.

That's because these sleazewad politicians on both sides of the aisle have little respect for the American people. And that's why we Independents (who control all election outcomes) will continue to vote these scumjob politicians' asses to the curb over and over again as we reach each successive election cycle. Ratify that.

"If You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go":
Pennsylvania Woman Allegedly Gets Really Pissed, Then Urinates All Over the Treats in a Convenience Store Freezer!

"If you gotta go, you gotta go" -- the famous last words of Sterling Hayden's corrupt police captain in The Godfather, uttered right before Melancholy Don Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) excused himself to the $hithouse at Louis' restaurant in the Bronx. To quote brother Sonny Corleone, Michael moments later came out of that bathroom "holding more than just his [junk]" and it was Bada Bing Bada Boom!:

Mikey whacked out the good captain (as well as Sollozzo the drug dealer) and officially put a real damper on the veal pasta dinner ("the best in the City") the threesome had been enjoying. In an instance of life (loosely) imitating art, urination was allegedly once again a source of culinary ruin one state over in Pennsylvania this week:

23-year-old Carrie Harkness (pictured above) was in her neighborhood Country Fair convenience store in Meadville, Pennsylvania, when employees asked her to leave. This enraged the young lady, who allegedly then provided employees with a whole new meaning for the phrase "pissed off." Harkness allegedly got her wee-wee on right there in the store inside a food freezer. But that reportedly wasn't the worst part.

As the linked story asks, "What kind of a person allegedly urinates in a convenience store freezer, ruining $508 worth of cookies, bagels, and other baked goods?" So let me get this straight: It wasn't just the act of wetting down the freezer -- nope, she had to go and ruin some perfectly good baked treats in the process!

And if this had merely been a freezer full of some bland ol' milk, cottage cheese and eggs, would this story be getting so much run and would Harkness be facing charges of criminal mischief and disorderly conduct? (No word yet whether Harkness will be advancing an "if you gotta go, you gotta go" defense to those charges).

Regardless, this story begs the question of why Harkness was asked to leave the store in the first place? There are precious few details on that question (never use the phrase "details are sketchy," BTW, because it's not a detail if it's "sketchy"). The only clues come from a largely nonsensical Facebook posting from Harkness, who said:

"Omg have you ever liked someone so much and go out with them and make a fool of yourself????? wish I could take back friday night!!!!! But youngstown is on point wish my friend could forgive me!!!!!!"

The only thing I can make out of that posting is that perhaps some dude worked at the convenience store and a smitten Harkness was there to see him. However, that's purely conjecture on my part (?????). But whatever Harkness was trying to say in that post, I have little doubt that she was very serious about it!!!!!! And Youngstown is right on point, damn it!!!!!