Thursday, June 30, 2011

Now a GOP Slimeball Gets in on the Anthony's Weinergate Action: Louisiana Politician Caught Sexting with Lover Colleague (Not His Wife).

Here's the funny thing about me. Many on BOTH sides don't believe this, but I really couldn't give a rat's ass which party you're in. If you're a creepwad politician of either party and you say or do something stupid, then I'm gonna jump on you, laugh at you, and make fun of you. That's what I do here. If you don't like that, then my usual GFY invitation extends. Case in point from Louisiana this week:

His name is Joe Stagni (pictured at the top and on right), and the 47-year-old GOP City Councilman (in Kenner City, La.) has apparently been reading one too many accounts of Anthony's Weiner (second picture above) tweeting out his chest and dong to various women, not to mention fellow republic partisan Christopher Lee (pictured immediately above) posting his topless torso on a dating website earlier this year.

Stagni seems to have wanted a little taste of this action. Not a big taste. Just enough to wet his beak. But I think he got a little more than he bargained for, as he's been caught with pants down (literally) this week.

Stagni has admitted to exchanging inappropriate sext "communications" with a female "colleague" with whom he admits having an extramarital affair. One such communication is the picture at the top which cuts off Stagni's head, but shows the rest of him posing in his underwear.

That picture was somehow forwarded to an unintended recipient at the ol' city council office, and all hell broke loose from there. Even funnier than that cheesy-ass picture is the message from Stagni that accompanied it:

"I'm n trouble - serious conversation w wife (sic)."

Let me try get this straight: Wifey had apparently gotten wind of Stagni's little affair with the "colleague," leading to Stagni being "n trouble" and having a "serious conversation" with wifey. And Stagni needs to communicate these facts to his mistress "colleague." OK, all of that makes sense. But the rest doesn't:

So Stagni needs to tell his lover what's going on and -- while he's at it -- he decides to just go ahead and attach a new picture of him in his drawers for good measure? Of course! What better time could there ever be to send that photo?

I'd hate to see the photo and message that Stagni might have sent if he ever officially broke it off with this "colleague." Maybe something like: "Sorry babe, it's over, but for your viewing pleasure, see the attached brand new picture of me and my Cajun whitesnake."

As for the aftermath of the Stagni scandal: He's praying and asking for "mercy and forgiveness" from everyone under the sun, including God above, his beloved wife, his family members, his constituents, his dog, his dearly departed grandma, etc., etc.

But unlike Weiner and Lee before him, this posing politician says he's "sticking" around (at least for the time being). Now, if we could just get one more slimy politician to have one of these sexting scandals, we'd have a foursome and a full potential cast for the new high-budget porn movie idea that I've been developing --
The Hungover.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I Don't Know Nothing, and I Didn't See Nothing: "Man Hits Pedestrian, Keeps Driving with Dead Victim in Passenger Seat."

The "my interests first" actions and "see no evil, hear no evil" lack of human decency and laughable denials of your garden-variety slimeball criminals and politicians (two groups of people whom I largely view to be the same, regardless of party) never cease to amaze me.

From the criminals, you can witness this sort of thing on just about any episode of "Cops":

Officer, If You Say the World Is Round, I Guess I'll Take Your Word For It

Cop: "This driver's license says your name is Bob?"
Sleaze: "What license? I ain't never seen that before. Who's Bob?"

Cop: "You would agree with me that the grass over there is green?"
Scuz: "I don't know nothin' about any of that. I ain't got my glasses. Some guy ripped 'em off."

Cop: "We can at least agree that you're a male, right?
Scum: "I might be able to go along with that, but I want to talk to my lawyer first."

Cop: "This car's been reported stolen. Where'd you get it?"
Slime: "Some guy done gave it to me."
Cop: "What was the guy's name?"
Slime: "He didn't tell me no name."
Cop: "So some guy you don't know just gives you the car."
Slime: "Well, I gives him a smoke, and I figured he were just being generous."

This Guy Wouldn't Know He Was Missing an Arm If An Alligator Gnawed It Off

And I thought I had heard them all until I saw this crazy story out of Houston. Cops there say the incident began when a man's SUV went on the fritz and he had to pull it over on a busy causeway. Cops say that after getting out of the car, the man tried to hoof it across the freeway and got pounded by a black Mazada.

In a totally freakish twist, cops say the impact sent the victim's body crashing through the Mazada's windshield -- such that the victim came to be seated in the Mazada's front passenger seat!

But cops say the Mazada driver -- 49-year-old James Onak -- didn't stop after the collision, but instead just went about his business. A little bit later, cops say, the Mazada driver casually took a freeway exit and started driving down a city street for over a damn mile!

That's when cops pulled this (allegedly) "oblivious" buffoon's ass right on over. A deputy then spied the damage to the Mazada's front and top as well as the victim slouched in the front passenger seat.

The driver's story? He said he thought he might have "hit something" on the freeway, but he wasn't sure what it was and he for damn sure "didn't know the victim was in the passenger seat beside him."

He also reportedly tried to blame a few too many drinks for not noticing the victim. Never mind that his car's windshield was shattered and the "hood and roof had also caved in" (pictures above). What was there really to notice, right?!?

The victim died at the scene, and the driver Onak "faces a felony charge of failure to stop and render aid and a misdemeanor charge of tampering with evidence." What, no DUI charge? Methinks so much for that rather lame little excuse about being blinded by the booze (allegedly).

But what's surprising to me is just how forthcoming the Mazada driver was with the cops. He really leveled with 'em, relatively speaking. What a breath of fresh air over there. Just think:

Actually admitting in a single conversation that (1) he had been on the freeway and (2) might have hit something! I betcha this honest samaritan even admitted his car was black, glasses or no.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

"World's Greatest" Grandpa Contest Nearly Over, But One Geezer's Likely Ineligible: Florida Boy Finds Gramps Buck Naked in Bed w/ the Family Bulldog!

It's called the "World Greatest Grandfather" contest and is sponsored by the San Francisco Chronicle (first link at bottom). The contest's received myriad photos as nominees, and now all that's left is the public voting on the pick of the litter photos. And methinks one perverted, raunchy Gramps in Florida somehow ain't gonna be making the ol' cut.

They say old dogs can't learn new tricks, but apparently old dirtbag grandpas can. In a seemingly weird twist upon the old adage, "it's only newsworthy if man bites dog," cops in West Palm Beach Florida this week have arrested a 54-year-old Gramps for pumpin' his pooch! (Second link at bottom).

Gramps' name is Eugene Hickman (mugshot immediately above), and the dirty old codger was caught red-handed bangin' the family bulldog. You can only imagine what Gramps' little grandson's reaction must have been upon entering Gramps' bedroom recently.

First grandson spots Gramps in the full buff on top of something in his bed. That not being traumatic enough, then sonny realizes that the thing beneath Gramps' dilapidated old carcass is the family's 3-year-old female bulldog!

And if you're wondering where the endless necessary string of "allegedly" parentheticals is, it ain't necessary here. Gramps reportedly fully admitted to cops that he was boning that bulldog bitch.

Now this old ballin' bestial boobjob will probably have to look for his beastly sexual delights inside the local hoosegow for some time to come, as cops have hit his sick old ass with a charge of felony animal cruelty.

But it's not as if the sad, sickly and wrinkly old slimeball is without any remorse whatsoever. First, he told cops he knew it was wrong to poke the pooch right there in the bedroom (what, he thought out in the Shithouse would be OK?).

He also reportedly promised cops that he'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever do something like this again. And I would hope not: They don't allow pets in the pokey (at least of the animal variety), after all.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Busted with a Loaded Weapon: Buxom Broad Arrested After Allegedly Whipping Out a Booby and Spraying Cops with Breast Milk!

I guess she wasn't too full of the milk of human kindness. Cops in Delaware, Ohio say it all started off quietly enough, as bosomy 30-year-old Stephanie Robinette (mugshot above) and her husband attending a lovely wedding and reception at the local banquet and conference center. But the milk only soured after that.

Robinette first allegedly got plastered on booze at the reception. Then this shapely sot reportedly took to fighting with her old man, busting him one right in the chops and clocking him several more times.

Maybe this sloshed soak needed to go breastfeed the brat or something, because the next thing you know, she's allegedly scurrying off to the parking lot to lock herself in the old man's car. That's when the cops showed up after receiving a call for a domestic dispute at the knot tying.

Cops reportedly couldn't get the full-bosomed boozer to get out of the car and had to try to force her fun bags right on out. This coerced action apparently didn't sit too well with this pie-eyed, plus-sized dame, and so she allegedly proceeded to give cops a piece of her mind and a lot more.

Cops says Robinette first warned them that "she was a breast feeding mother." Perhaps thinking that the cops didn't believe that story, this smashed double-stack set out to corroborate her own story herself. And while I've heard of taking matters into your own hands, this was ridiculous:

Cops say Robinette then "removed her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and [her] vehicle with breast milk."

After this lactacting lush reportedly milked her sizable rack for all it was worth, cops say they were eventually able to fully extract Robinette and her honkers from the car and slap the ol' cuffs on her.

Now this boozin' babe will probably want to cry over her spilled milk, since she faces charges of domestic violence, assault (the breast milk spray?), obstructing official business, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. That means she may have to milk her cans in the Jug for awhile to come, since them's a lot of charges.

And leave it to the cops to turn this milky white incident into a little lesson that civilians everywhere should keep in mind as they go through life: "This is a prime example of how alcohol can make individuals do things they would not normally do," spouted the local sheriff. Moo juice for thought. Sheriff Taylor's no milk toast over there.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Trifecta! "Renowned" Equestrian Busted for Allegedly Horsing Around, Driving Car While (1) Buck Naked, (2) Smokin' Meth & (3) Looking at Porn!

Couldn't he have gone for a filthy five-play and added some whiskey and riding crops into this demented mix? One thing's for sure: Rather than being as healthy as a horse, this man's as sick as an old plug after eating a bushel of apples (allegedly).

He's 46-year-old Kenneth Acebal (pictured on left and on the horse above), and he's known as a "distinguished horse trainer" from Apharetta, Georgia. Apparently spurred on by angst stemming from recent attempted child molestation charges, cops in Georgia say this four-eyed foal man recently kicked up his heals in a big way on the Georgia highways.

This Old Nag Moves Faster Than Secretariat Through a Feed Bag

Cops say this brazen buckaroo was first spotted driving his car with fewer clothes on than a bareback bronco. But if that was his only (alleged) crime! Cops says this hard-chargin' horseman was going for the Triple Crown.

Acebal was allegedly tokin' on a meth pipe as he merrily raced his way around the last corner in his birthday suit. But what really had this kooky equestrian champing at the bit? Porn! What else? (Allegedly).

Cops say this deranged roughrider (allegedly) had "an array of pornographic magazines spread out in the car" as if they were so many racing forms down at the Belmont. (Cops also found the "pipe with methamphetamine residue in it.")

So what gives with all that damn porn? Well, it seems that Acebal was trying to beat his dead horse (allegedly). Or you might say he was just trying to feel his oats (allegedly). This is one instance where the man should not have held his horses (allegedly).

More to the point, and straight from the horse's mouth: Acebal reportedly admitted "he had performed a sex act on himself while driving." At least he didn't try to change horses (errr, stories) in midstream. And no word whether any horsey sauce was among the physical evidence collected by cops from the car.

This Batty Broncobuster Is Knee Deep In More Than Just Clover

A close friend of Acebal reportedly blames the whole incident on stress caused by Acebal being arrested in April "over attempted child molestation charges." Acebal allegedly engaged in online chats with an FBI agent posing as a child and then allegedly tried to look a gift horse in the mouth. The FBI says Acebal next drove his car (apparently fully clothed) to meet the "child" for sex.

Acebal's friend is really on her high horse over Acebal's daily double of arrests, actually referring to the attempted molestation charges as a "victimless crime." The friend crowed that Acebal will be "fully exonerated" for both incidents. But methinks the friend may be backing the wrong horse.

Regardless, after the latest incident, Acebal ponied up some cash to get out of the pokey on bond. He'll soon have to hoof it back to court, since he stands accused of meth possession and indecent exposure. But I think he better worry about those attempted molestation charges first, lest he wishes to put the cart before the horse.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Anthony's Weiner Humiliated the Hell Out of Me, And All I Got Was This Lousy Bouquet of Cheap Flowers!

What a Dick? You make the call. First Anthony's Weiner made a complete tool of his wife -- Hillary Clinton valet Huma's Weiner -- by sexting and "donging" on the Internet with a whole host of various women of seemingly all ages.

Then Anthony's Weiner lies about it and elongates the Weinergate scandal for over two weeks before finally pulling out of Congress. Anthony's Weiner is a complete widger disgrace and has embarrassed his pregnant wife Huma's Weiner in a way seldom seen in the annals of civilized man.

But this smooth oblong operator Anthony's Weiner is apparently looking to make it all up to Huma's Weiner in a big bratwurst way! The New York Post reports that Anthony's Weiner was located at a Queens mini-mart late this week picking out a few cheap bouquets of carnations and other flowers (pictured above) for his most beloved bride, Huma's Weiner.

Or, as the Post puts it, Weiner's "'sorry' attempt" involved "toting a few pathetic bouquets home from a Forest Hills bodega." The total cost? $22.97.

But we'd heard the tales during the scandal that Anthony's Weiner may be a bit strapped-on for cash and really couldn't afford to take his bat and balls and go home from Congress.

He needed that paycheck, and that's probably why Anthony's Weiner hung around so long until finally top democrat party slimeballs like Nancy Pelosi and democrat national committee chairman Debbie "Wasserman" Schultz forced the Weiner back into his britches.

So I, for one, am not going to be too hard on Anthony's Weiner over the flowers and his rather pathetically cheap "so-rreee" gesture. Anthony's Weiner really looks to have come down (and out). Flophouse city. Skid row.

Given his current deflated situation, did anyone really expect Anthony's Weiner to shower Huma's Weiner with a big money shot of diamond rings and fancy cars? Obama and his federal reserve may be able to just print whatever money they recklessly think they need, but Anthony's Weiner has to earn his money if wants to bring home the tube steak.

But my opinion of Anthony's Weiner may be in the minority. The Post apparently amassed a small team of "experts" to weigh in on the pole-toting politician's gesture to Huma's Weiner. First the Post schlonged out a professor of American Studies named Elayne Rapping faster than Long Duck Dong in a John Hughes picture:

"It's ridiculous and it could make her angrier. He knows there are photographers and reporters outside of his house. He could have easily called up a florist and had flowers delivered to her -- this seems to be more of a gesture for the press than for her. A way of him saying, 'I'm being a good husband.' "

Next up was a spokesman for "ritzy" Madison Avenue Flowers, who said that the cheap flowers from Anthony's Weiner were "a lame way to say I'm sorry," especially given the particular choice of flowers and colors:

"It's ill-conceived. Carnations are not really popular among women these days -- and orange roses? He should have stuck to red . . . Orange, white and blue? No! No! No!"

I suppose it all just goes to show a Little Soldier for being the Little Pony that he is: Crass, obnoxious, sophomoric little men tend to give crass, obnoxious, sophomoric little gifts -- even when trying to placate an Humiliated Huma.

Friday, June 24, 2011

She Must've REALLY Wanted that Spot: Crazed Driver with Mysterious Bosomy Passenger Cuts Off Car Trying to Park, Sends Worker Crashing Through Window!

A story like this has a certain appeal because it's pure madness. There's no rhyme nor reason to any of it (or as the media likes to say, it's "senseless"). It's like something from a bad dream, hallucination or other non-reality condition. And it just goes to show: We live in a world of insanity and slime, and sometimes it's best just to laugh right in its face.

I've Heard of Double Parking, But This Is Ridiculous

24-year-old Gejea Ejeta was just going about his business earlier this week, trying to change the rubbish cans outside the 7-Eleven at which he works in Yeadon, Pennsylvania. But that's when his little trash run went wrong. Horribly wrong.

It started off innocent enough as a maroon SUV slowly entered the parking spot in front of the garbage can that Ejeta was changing out. But then, surveillance footage shows, a white Dodge Caliber came storming in from out of nowhere at a high speed.

The video makes clear that there were a number of open spots in the lot. But that didn't stop the deranged Caliber driver (who's believed to be female). Because she wanted the spot that the maroon car was about to take. And damn it, she was going to get that spot! (Maybe she had some trash that she really need to unload in that garbage bin?)

So the lunatic Caliber driver tries to wheel into the spot and cut off the maroon car. But, see, while speed thrills, it also kills (I learned that one from Sgt. Trumond M. Combs of the Missouri Water Patrol). And so this hard-charging psycho lost control of the Caliber, leapt it up on to the sidewalk, and barely missed crashing into Aisle One of the convenience store.

But while the building remained mostly unscathed, not so much so for poor little Gejea Ejeta. The Caliber crashed into him and sent the innocent seller flying right through the window. Ejeta was hospitalized with leg injuries and has been holed up at home unable to work ever since.

The Last Time I Saw a Rack Like That, It Was Sauntering Around a Milking Parlor

Wouldn't ya know, the crash and injury to Ejeta were not the end of this sordid little tale. With Ejeta having been heaved through the window and the Caliber beached up on the sidewalk, a rather large and buxom broad casually gets out of the passenger side and strolls away without a care in the world.

Just to add insult to injury, and rather than checking on the injured Ejeta, the chesty dame (Janis Soprano?) instead started checking on her cell phone messages as she strutted away! You just know that if anyone had approached her in that parking lot, her response would've been something like, "What accident? I don't know nothing about no accident."

When a couple of store employees then ran out of the store towards the Caliber, the maniacal driver "reversed at high-speed" and got the hell out of there -- again with no regard whatsoever for Ejeta's well-being.

The driver remains on the loose, and I assume that cops would like to find her well-endowed, devil-may-care passenger as well. They should try the local creamery.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

You Can't Go Out in Public Anymore: Couple Busted for Sex on Beach in Front of 50 People, and Woman Finds Man Hiding in Crap Tank of Public Shithouse!

These crazy antics make you want to think twice about availing oneself of the benefits of public facilities, whether those come in the form of a nice public beach or the convenience of a public port-a-potty. Oh well, at least no one's been caught having sex in a graveyard this week (yet)...

Not in Front of the Children, Ward!

At least they could have had the decency to first build a big sand castle and do it in there. But apparently they had one too many Sex on the Beach. Cops in Treasure Island, Florida, have thrown the book at two young lovers who allegedly got it on in a big way in front of 50 onlookers at one of the local public beaches (pictured above).

Put another way, "it wasn't quite the sunset view the customers at Caddy's restaurant had in mind." Cops say 21-year-old Erica Huerta and 22-year-old mohawk-headed Steven Douglas (mugshots above) gave restaurant customers and beach-goers alike a lot more than they bargained for on Monday evening.

And the couple allegedly didn't just do the dirty deed real quick-like and then move on. No Siree Bob. They allegedly did it over and over again for over 30 damn minutes! The 50 onlookers included a number of children, some of whom reportedly "played in the sand nearby" while the couple went at it. Meantime restaurant patrons got a look at all of this just 100 feet away.

It's almost as if this couple was trying to act out a porn movie, but with no cameras (allegedly). In short, they were pulling out every trick in the sex book (allegedly). First there was some masturbation (allegedly). Then some "digital penetration" (allegedly). Then some oral sex (apparently going both ways) (allegedly).

But these horny exhibitionists were only getting warmed up at that point (allegedly)! All of that preliminary foolishness out of the way, the couple moved on the main event -- full-on sex over and over in the "missionary position" (allegedly). Cops also say the two had been drinking, although I personally find that very hard to believe.

Now the only sand these sexy showstoppers may be abusing for the time being will be that found in the yard at the local hoosegow. They're charged with felony "lewd and lascivious exhibition." Take it inside next time, kids.

I've Heard of Johnny On the Spot, But Never Sleazy Down in the Shit Tank

If there's one place on earth that I'd actually expect to enjoy a little privacy, it would be one of those portable public shithouses. I mean, apart from flies, who the hell's going to be hanging around in or near one of those things? They stink to high heaven and you only go near one if you really gots to go.

Well, you can toss all those little assumptions right down the crapper. Cops in Boulder, Colorado say a woman attending a "yoga festival" got the surprise of a lifetime when she tried to use a portable toilet at the event. Before she could even have a seat, the woman reportedly heard something rummaging around down in the waste tank beneath the toilet hole.

Maybe just the earth settling? Maybe a rat? Maybe a wasp nest? Nope. Any of those things would have just made too much sense. There was a man hiding down in that cesspool!

After getting the hell out of there, the woman heard the door lock from inside the portable privy -- indicating that ShitterMan had risen from the muck and mire! Security reportedly gathered outside the structure, waiting several minutes for ShitterMan to emerge.

And when ShitterMan did finally show his stinky hide, he reportedly made a mad dash for the exits and got away -- all the while "covered in feces." ShitterMan was apparently known to one festival attendee as "Sky" and is thought to be a hobo (no way!).

This stinkpot remains on the loose. So the next time you go to take a crap, better check twice under that lid. And whatever you do, stay out of that powder room if it happens to be portable.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A Quick, Funny (Yet Somewhat Sick) Anecdote Before I Put Up My Thursday Blog Post. And a Real Insight Into the Rager...

Wednesday night, I'm surfing my premium movie channels and happen upon the leftist 20 percenter circle jerk show hosted by Bill Maher. Maher, BTW, I used to find funny back in the 90's, before he (like so many leftist 20 percenters) went completely apeshit and off the deep-end in the wake of the 2000 election result and September 11, 2001.

I can't watch Maher anymore. He's so full of hate and far-left venom. Anyway, he was ranting about far right-winger Texas governor Rick Perry (who may still run for president in 2012). I pretty much equally disdain Perry. To me, he epitomizes everything that is mindless, brainwashed far right-wing America (not that the far left is any less brainwashed by their ilk, colleagues and upbringing).

Perry over the past year has absolutely outraged me with talk of Texas possibly seceding from the Union as if this was 1860, not to mention his support for legislation permitting the carrying of concealed handguns in college classrooms. That's some pretty deranged right-winger stuff, truth be told.

Lately I have felt SO battle-fatigued by the two extremes that control our two bullshit political parties, and tonight I just kind of snapped (as anyone called the Rager would tend to be prone to do!). So I'm watching this leftist freak Maher ranting and raving about Perry, with a huge Perry still-store (onscreen picture) immediately to Maher's right on the screen.

So I snap. In a truly Elvis Presley-like moment, I don't pull out a gun (actually I don't own one), but I raise my right and left fists and, at the exact same time, lay a southwest Missouri lefthand right on Maher's mush and a southwest Missouri righthand directly on Perry's melon. Mind you, this is one of those old-school, pre-flatscreen TV jobs -- 32 inch with a ton of bulk back in that ass.

My simultaneous punches to the two extremist assclowns not only rocked the TV, but moved it back several inches and nearly sent it off its TV stand. If I had knocked that TV to the floor (which nearly happened), there would've been hell to pay from certain powers that be, I can tell you that. Thank GOD, it stayed on that TV stand by a damn wing & a prayer!

So am I just as sick, angry, hateful and demented as the likes of Maher and Perry? Quite possibly. Welcome to my world. And it's a lonely one: I've never met an Independent with the kind of anger and disdain that I bring to our rotten political culture and system as well as the two corrupt, disgraceful parties that prop it up. Maybe I am sick. But that felt good tonight. Damn good.

Nine Myths Debunked From Past Day's News: Jon Huntsman; Jackass Ebert; Simona Halep; Gladiators; Obama; Pantie Vault; Minor Milk Run; "Amish Pervert"

From the past day's headlines: Here's the truth, with all fiction revealed:

1. Jon "Spiderman" Huntsman: To debunk the biggest myth yet his week, this new GOP presidential candidate is not exciting or interesting at all to many Independents, including me. I'm interested in (but do not anticipate seeing) a candidate of conviction, character, courage and action devoted to reigning in our stifling $14.3 trillion national debt. I'm not interested in some mush-mouth "moderate" who promises to play nice with Obama -- a truly awful president who couldn't care less about the national debt and the impending economic ruin of the formerly American system.

["Moderates," BTW, are little different from partisan ideologues: They reach viewpoints for the sake of those viewpoints aligning in a particular place in the political spectrum on a nice little totem pole. There is nothing "Independent" about a self-described "moderate". A truly independent-minded person lets his particular views come out wherever they may and doesn't give a rat's ass where that happens to be or who gives a damn about it.]

I'm also not too interested in candidates who once referred to the aforementioned Obama (one of the two worst and most destructive presidents of my lifetime, along with W Bush) as "remarkable." If this Huntsman doesn't have an adjective vocabulary behind that of Missouri football coach Gary Pinkel (who spouts a "remarkable" every other sentence) and (moreover) actually thinks anything Obama's ever done is "remarkable," then he's dumber than the combined IQ's of Joe Biden and W Bush, which is about 27 on a good day.

Similarly, I'm not interested in hearing "civility" preachings from a candidate (Huntsman) who would be going against one of the most uncivil presidents whom I can recall in terms of his rhetoric -- Obama. In 2012, Obama and his fellow leftists 20 percenters are going to go after whomever the republic partisan nominee is (whether Huntsman or otherwise) with every dirty trick, every ounce of rotten, lying and disingenuous rhetoric, and every example of non-civil behavior imaginable.

Why in the hell
would anyone ever want to be "civil" to those people (yes, I said those people)? Take the bastards on directly, lest you want to lose. And Huntsman has loser (not to mention DC establishment) written all over him. Maybe that's why the left-slanted "mainstream" media (apparently smelling another John McCain) seem so captivated by Huntsman. Just don't count this Independent among them.

2. Jackass Ebert: Ebert's tweet that "friends don't let jackasses drink and drive" was funny, even if you think it was in bad taste or "too soon." The movie critic made the Tweet following "Jackass" star Ryan Dunn's fatal (and reportedly drunken) car accident -- before which Dunn had tweeted out a photo of him and his friends drinking in a bar.,,personsTax:RogerEbert,00.html

3. Simona Halep: Sometimes downsizing your breasts can actually be a good thing (even if it is often inadvisable, in my opinion). Just ask 19-year-old Romanian tennis player Simona Halep, whose effectiveness on the court seems to have improved after she scaled back her rack.

4. Gladiators: There may be no rules in a knife fight, but there were referees in ancient gladiatorial fights to the death -- even if such Hollywood films and TV series as Gladiator and Spartacus: Blood and Sand don't show any refs.

A newly deciphered gravestone from a Roman gladiator blames a ref's decision for the gladiator's death in "the Arena" -- likely making it the first time in recorded history that a sports loser whined about the refs. "You Cannot Be Serious!," proclaims Britain's Daily Mail. (And watch out behind ya, Boys, because Theokoles rises!)

5. Obama: It's a complete myth that I disagree with leftist 20 percenter Obama 100% of the time; rather, it's only about 99% of the time. Case in point: Obama is to announce today his plan to withdraw 10,000 "surge" troops from Afghanistan by the end of 2011 and 33,000 troops by the end of 2012. I couldn't be more supportive.

However, while this makes for good popular rhetoric for Obama, I'll actually believe it's anything other than mere lip service when I actually see all those troops come home. I ain't holdin' my breath over here. You see, Obama spouts all kinds of lofty rhetoric and rarely backs any of it up (although, that's most typically a good thing, truth be told).

6. Pantie Vault: If a woman is discovered with a cop car license plate down her panties, then it's probably not there merely for safekeeping. A woman in New York says she was just "holding it for the cops" after the license plate "fell off" the police car, but the cops ain't buying that story. Woman's charged with possession of stolen property and larceny.

7. Minor Milk Run: It's actually not cool to send your 5-year-old on a mile-long walk to get milk at the local 7-Eleven and then pass out before the tike can even get home with the goods. Cops in Charleston, West Virginia, busted Mama's ass for child neglect.

8. "Amish Pervert": Contrary to what may be popular belief, if you try to have sex with a 12-year-old girl, it's actually not a defense to claim you thought the girl was 13. And it really doesn't matter (either) if you happen to be Amish, or that you drove your horse-drawn buggy so that you could meet the girl and get it on inside said buggy (allegedly).

9. The Number Inside My Head Between 1 and 10: Someone guessed 6 over the past day. WRONG! It's actually 9. Turn that six upside down. (And turn that smile into an uncivil sneer -- Rager says you'll feel much better as a result in this day and age -- Jon Huntsman notwithstanding).