Saturday, June 25, 2011

Anthony's Weiner Humiliated the Hell Out of Me, And All I Got Was This Lousy Bouquet of Cheap Flowers!




What a Dick? You make the call. First Anthony's Weiner made a complete tool of his wife -- Hillary Clinton valet Huma's Weiner -- by sexting and "donging" on the Internet with a whole host of various women of seemingly all ages.

Then Anthony's Weiner lies about it and elongates the Weinergate scandal for over two weeks before finally pulling out of Congress. Anthony's Weiner is a complete widger disgrace and has embarrassed his pregnant wife Huma's Weiner in a way seldom seen in the annals of civilized man.

But this smooth oblong operator Anthony's Weiner is apparently looking to make it all up to Huma's Weiner in a big bratwurst way! The New York Post reports that Anthony's Weiner was located at a Queens mini-mart late this week picking out a few cheap bouquets of carnations and other flowers (pictured above) for his most beloved bride, Huma's Weiner.

Or, as the Post puts it, Weiner's "'sorry' attempt" involved "toting a few pathetic bouquets home from a Forest Hills bodega." The total cost? $22.97.

But we'd heard the tales during the scandal that Anthony's Weiner may be a bit strapped-on for cash and really couldn't afford to take his bat and balls and go home from Congress.

He needed that paycheck, and that's probably why Anthony's Weiner hung around so long until finally top democrat party slimeballs like Nancy Pelosi and democrat national committee chairman Debbie "Wasserman" Schultz forced the Weiner back into his britches.

So I, for one, am not going to be too hard on Anthony's Weiner over the flowers and his rather pathetically cheap "so-rreee" gesture. Anthony's Weiner really looks to have come down (and out). Flophouse city. Skid row.

Given his current deflated situation, did anyone really expect Anthony's Weiner to shower Huma's Weiner with a big money shot of diamond rings and fancy cars? Obama and his federal reserve may be able to just print whatever money they recklessly think they need, but Anthony's Weiner has to earn his money if wants to bring home the tube steak.

But my opinion of Anthony's Weiner may be in the minority. The Post apparently amassed a small team of "experts" to weigh in on the pole-toting politician's gesture to Huma's Weiner. First the Post schlonged out a professor of American Studies named Elayne Rapping faster than Long Duck Dong in a John Hughes picture:

"It's ridiculous and it could make her angrier. He knows there are photographers and reporters outside of his house. He could have easily called up a florist and had flowers delivered to her -- this seems to be more of a gesture for the press than for her. A way of him saying, 'I'm being a good husband.' "

Next up was a spokesman for "ritzy" Madison Avenue Flowers, who said that the cheap flowers from Anthony's Weiner were "a lame way to say I'm sorry," especially given the particular choice of flowers and colors:

"It's ill-conceived. Carnations are not really popular among women these days -- and orange roses? He should have stuck to red . . . Orange, white and blue? No! No! No!"

I suppose it all just goes to show a Little Soldier for being the Little Pony that he is: Crass, obnoxious, sophomoric little men tend to give crass, obnoxious, sophomoric little gifts -- even when trying to placate an Humiliated Huma.