Thursday, September 30, 2010

Episode 8 Recap of the Real Housewives of DC!
Fake Season Finale Part II: "Nation Building"

Episode Synopsis: The Salahis prepare to Crash (Allegedly) a White House State Dinner, while the other cast members basically spend the entire episode trashing on the Salahis (YAWN, although their criticisms are well taken in large part). Plus Stacie moves a big step closer to finding her birthfather.

Segment 1: Lynda is at her modeling agency working on casting for a fashion show at Union Station being held by the embassy of Burkina Faso (an African country). She’s with Heather, who does marketing/PR at the agency. Nenye, the producer of the event (who's quite hot), and Klubo, a member of the embassy, then show up to work on casting with Lynda and Heather. Myriad female and male models then start strutting around in front of them. Lynda dresses down one of the male models for his hair being too long. Off camera, Michaele Salahi (who’s not even at this event) calls Lynda a “bully.”

At Stacie’s house, she’s with husband Jason in the living room. They are on the laptop working on a Facebook message to the son of her birthmother. Stacie wants info on her birthfather, but mama so far has refused, and thus Stacie is trying to circumvent mama by hitting up the son (her half-brother, BTW) – who doesn’t even know she exists (or that mama had a daughter by a different man).

At The Madison restaurant, Lynda, Cat and Mary are having lunch and talking about all the stress that Cat is under with her upcoming book, two daughters at home, and a husband who’s always away on business. Then they start talking about Michaele and the (allegedly) false story that Michaele has been spreading about previously being a Washington Redskins cheerleader. Cat comments that if the Salahis would just come out and admit that they are having financial problems (instead of pretending that they don’t), then people would be understanding and would sympathize with them. Lynda comments that the Salahis have not made a house payment in two years. She also describes them as “very disturbed.”

Meantime Michaele is riding around in a stretch limo (what else?) in the countryside with husband Tareq Salahi. They arrive at The Inn at Little Washington, which appears to be a bed-and-breakfast. Tareq indicated in the limo that this is where the couple ate on their first date. They sit down to lunch with another couple who’s staying there (as is common at such joints). The Salahis start talking about India, how they once visited there for several weeks, and how they (through Tareq’s involvement in polo) have politically been trying to build a strong bridge between the two countries (put another way, he’s puffing and blustering). Tareq also mentions that Obama is hosting an Indian contingent at the White House at an upcoming state dinner (HERE WE GO!). Tareq noticeably does NOT say that they are invited to the dinner, but does say that they plan to attend.

Segment 2: At the Burkino Faso embassy, Lynda is meeting again with fashion show producer Nenye, fashion designer Clara Lawson-Ames, and Araba Yonli (the Burkino Faso Ambassador’s wife). They say the event is about showing a whole new face to the world in terms of Africa and showing that Africa is not all about poverty, hardship and war as normally portrayed in the media. Lynda says she wants to help and notes that Burkino Faso is the third most impoverished nation in the world.

At Cat’s house, her husband Charles is actually at home! Cat says that she and Charles have been invited to the White House Christmas party (Charles is a White House photographer). Cat is excited to “meet Obama for the first time.” She says also that she would like to give Obama a framed copy of Charles’ award-winning picture of Obama from his inauguration. Charles indicates he’s talked to Obama about Cat and says that Obama’s looking forward to meeting her.

Back at Stacie’s house, she says that it’s now been a week since she and Jason sent her half-brother a Facebook e-mail, but yet brother has not responded. Jason suggests that they might next try contacting the Nigerian embassy for help in communicating with Stacie’s birthfather (who’s Nigerian).

At Lynda’s apartment (apparently she has not completely moved into her new house yet), Lynda is on the blower with Mary, who says that she (Mary) and daughter Lolly will be attending the Burkino Faso fashion show. Lynda then rather hilariously remarks that she has posted a picture of the Salahis with event security so that the Salahis can’t crash the event (as they’ve allegedly been known to do)! Mary says that she will never again attend an event with the Salahis after Tareq’s recent accusations concerning Lolly being connected to the theft of his car and polo gear. Mary also says that she would fear for the safety of the Salahis if they do crash the event because “Lolly is furious” with them. Michaele comments off camera that Mary and Lynda have become “very destructive and ‘cliquey’”.

Segment 3: Lynda is back at her apartment and starting to get ready for the fashion show. She has a dress to wear that was provided to her by the Burkino Faso embassy. Her hairstylist, Ishmael, is there to assist in her preparation. Then Lynda’s much larger and half-her-age boyfriend, Ebong, shows up. Lynda immediately dispatches him to go fetch a scotch-on-the-rocks for her. Next Lynda starts barking orders at her personal assistant, KC -- telling KC to help Lynda fit into her dress and, just for good measure, to fetch Lynda’s astrological chart from the other room. The chart appears to confirm for Lynda that everything’s on the up-and-up for tonight’s event.

Next we’re at the Nigerian embassy, where Stacie (following up on Jason’s earlier suggestion) has just visited. She’s with Stella Onuoha, an embassy member who just gave Stacie a tour of the premises. Stella then embarks with Stacie and Jason for lunch so that they can talk more about Stacie’s birthfather situation. The three discern that Stacie’s birthfather is from the same state in Nigeria as Stella (who seems excited about helping them find the man). Stella thinks she knows of a male professor in that region who would be able to help them look for daddy. The personal connection struck up here out of the blue between Stella and Stacie is a very nice sight to behold.

Now it’s on to Union Station for the Burkino Faso fashion show. Lynda & Ebong arrive. David Catania (DC councilmember) is there too. Lynda reminds security not to let the Salahis in if they try to crash (and she seems a bit worried that apparently, through a mix up, the Salahis’ photo did not get into security’s hands prior to the event). Mary, Lolly, Cat, Charles and Paul Wharton are the next to arrive. Also attending is Cat’s new arch-enemy, Erika, who got into an awful verbal altercation with Cat on last week’s episode. Cat’s seat is only two seats away from Erika (with Mary between them), and the two do not exchange pleasantries, as you might expect. The fashion show then proceeds, with a host of gorgeous ladies (and a few dudes) walkin’ the runway.

Jason Backe, Ted Gibson’s partner, is also there, and Lynda intros him to David Catania. And with that, as Lynda launches into a little speech, we’re back to the gay marriage issue! (See my recap of last week’s episode, which was gay marriage, gay marriage, and then a bit more gay marriage – not that there’s anything wrong that.) Obviously, the producers of the show hold this issue very close to their hearts, or else we wouldn’t be constantly beaten about the head, breast and neck with it in multiple episodes. I don’t mind the focus on the issue, but the incessant focus gets a bit old (not to mention, boring), sorry.

Lynda then talks to Paul Wharton and expresses again her worry about the fact that security did not receive the Salahis’ photo as she had intended. AGAIN, we see Michaele off-camera spouting off about Lynda. This time, Michaele brags, “I’m the prettiest, I’m the hottest, I have the most friends – I’m Miss DC!” I was just waiting for a “Nature Boy” Ric Flair-like “WOOOO!” to next emanate from Michaele’s sorry mug, but none was forthcoming, unfortunately.

Segment 4: Michaele and Tareq Salahi arrive at a fashion salon, remarking that they “have a big night” ahead of them. Michaele meets there with make-up artist Erwin Gomez. While having her make-up done, Michaelle OFFICIALLY SPILLS THE BEANS: The Salahis are planning to attend the Indian state dinner at the White House!!! Michaele further states her hope that Oprah shows her face at the event as well! AND, Michaele gives Erwin The Make-up Artist the impression that the Salahis have been INVITED to this state dinner! Next she tells the hairstylist (Peggy) that she and Tareq “just” received their invitation to this event.

Then there’s this extremely awkward on-camera exchange between Michaele and the actual producer of The Real Housewives of DC. Michaele is trying to explain to the producer that the Salahis have apparently “lost” their invitation to this state dinner (Go Figure!). Michaele next puts on this little act (or was it real?) about not only the invitation being left behind at the mansion by the personal assistants, but (damn it) they also left her bra and preferred shoes back there too! Oh, the Humanity!!! Then Tareq chimes in that the invitation is just a “formality” that they will not need to enter the event.

Segment 5: Michaele is making final dress preparations for the Salahis’s (alleged) crash (errr, attendance) at the White House state dinner. As noted before, Michaele -- while long, leggy and attractive as a general proposition -- has no physical endowments upstairs whatsoever, and so I continue to fail to see how the hell she’s going to pose for Playboy? I mean, pose as what, the lamp-pole outside an Alabama shithouse? But I digress.

Anyway, she’s having trouble figuring out how to put on her dress, so her make-up artist, Erwin, lends her a hand: “This has to go like this, see?”, he chirps. As she’s finally ready to go, Tareq proclaims, “Ready to Go to the White House?!” They jump into a stretch limo (again, what else?), and Michaele starts talking to Stacie on the phone. Michaele brags that she and Tareq are off to the state dinner. “You’re Going to the White House!,” Stacie gushes. “YES,” confirms Michaele. END OF (YET ANOTHER FAKE SEASON FINALE) EPISODE.

Final Comment: For the second straight week, Bravo has implicitly hyped an episode of this show to be the season finale, only for it NOT to be the season finale. This disingenuous behavior has me frankly disgusted, but yet I continue on in my coverage of this rather pathetic show since I’ve never quit on anything in my life once I’ve started it. And so yes, I will cover next week yet ANOTHER season finale episode (but will it actually even be the season finale?). So see ya next week. Have I mentioned before (yes, last week, in fact) that I will NEVER again cover another Bravo reality series?

DRUDGE Headline: "They Couldn't Even Pass a Budget!, But Found Time to Enact a Law Limiting Volume of TV Commercials."
But What's Wrong With That!?

Yes, the democrat party's failure to pass a budget this year was an act of pure political cowardice. So what else is new? But why does Drudge at the same time pick on this new legislation regulating TV commercial volume? I think it's a good piece of legislation, and apparently lawmakers in both parties agree, as the measure passed unanimously in the Senate after earlier passing the House (links to both stories at bottom).

How many damn times have I been trying to fall asleep to the television, watching History Channel or some old movie, only to be loudly and rudely interrupted by some annoying commercial, with some loud idiot spokesperson (such as the pictured Shamwow slimeball), and with volume twice as loud as the damn television program!?! For once, Congress actually got it right here. Not that it matters much. They've got about a month left until we kick a whole bunch of their sorry asses to the damn curb.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Dems to Try to Jam Through "20 Bills in Post-Election Lame-Duck Session"? Seems Like a Big Red Herring, But With One Notable Exception.

Reports the past 24 hours talk of DC dems -- who will probably lose control of the House and will lose seats in the Senate in the November 2 midterm elections -- trying to ramrod through myriad pieces of democrat party legislation during the lame-duck session (i.e. before the new republicans take their seats) (link to story at bottom). But this would seem to me to be, in large part, a lot to do about nothing since it will be extremely difficult for dems to ram anything controversial through a Senate in which they now lack their prior supermajority (and therefore lack the ability in most instances to avoid a repub filibuster).

But as noted at the top, there appears to be one big exception, which comes in the form of the issue of whether to extend the Bush income tax cuts next year for everyone, for no one, or for only individuals and families making less than $250,000 per year (such as me and probably you). Of course, the dems want to only extend the tax cuts for families making less than $250K, while the repubs (along with me, most Independents and a majority of the country) want to extend the tax cuts for everyone since raising anyone's taxes during bad economic times is economically moronic (as even a majority of left-wing economists will tell you).

So, the dems after November 2, still clinging to their House and Senate majorities during the lame-duck session, are going to try to jam through an extension of the cuts for the "less than $250K" folks only and will likely refuse to agree to the repubs' desire to extend the cuts for everyone. Thus, repubs will be in the position of either (1) blocking the dem measure such that the cuts will be extended for no one or (2) swallowing their pride and principles and permitting the dems to ram through their legislation so that at least the tax cuts are extended for the "less than 250K" folks.

And it would seem to me that Option # 2 will be the only real option for repubs. Option # 1 -- which would effectively end the tax cuts for everyone -- would be absolutely politically disastrous for republicans and I can't believe that they would even seriously consider it, since it would allow the democrat party to spout (largely disingenuously, of course) that "the republicans raised taxes on the middle class because they couldn't agree to keep your taxes the same unless taxes also stayed the same for all the millionaires and billionaires of the country -- at the end of the day, those are the only people that the republicans care about."

Nope, I can't see any way that the republicans get around permitting the dems to foist through a measure that extends cuts for only the "less than 250K" people. The best they will be able to do is to try to offer amendments right and left in the House and Senate that would extend the cuts for everyone (none of which will succeed) and then make it very clear in the media that the dems absolutely have the repubs' hands tied on this issue. Filibustering the measure entirely, such that the tax cuts expire for everyone, simply does not seem to be a viable political option. If any of the readers see a different way that this might play out, I'd be fascinated to hear about it.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Sarah Palin Booed on "Dancing With The Stars" Last Night? Judge For Yourself, But I Think the Audience Was Merely Chanting

The leftwing blogosphere and Net in general today are ablaze with speculation as to whether last night's Dancing With The Stars audience actually booed Sarah Palin's appearance (link at bottom). As noted at the top, I don't think they were saying "boo," and furthermore it's quite possible that they were a bit disappointed with Palin's typically conservative attire on the show (see pic immediately above).

Which brings me to a point worth making: Sarah could use to loosen up a bit on the wardrobe. Show a little skin, babe! It seems like the only time we've ever been able to get a decent gander at those assets was during your Belmont Stakes appearance (pic at top) and in your Nailin' Palin video (which showed way too much). You need to be more subtle than that video, but yet a bit more flashy than your usual self. Just remember: Polls start risin' when you look appetizin'.

Monday, September 27, 2010

It's the Leftists, STUPID!

The linked article from today's talks about the likely bloodbath for the democrat party in the nation's heartland and midwest come the November elections. And make no mistake, the people who decide your elections (Independents) are going to kick plenty of dems to the curb from those regions in November. But that's been obvious for months and months and is not my main point here.

Instead, what caught my attention is the way Politico completely pussyfoots around the 1000-pound gorilla in the room and basically ignores it (I wonder why that is, Politico?). Politico chalks up the democrat party's woes in the heartland to a whole host of generalized, highly generic-type causes, such as the bad economy, high unemployment, lack of jobs and out-of-control government spending. Please!

The overriding reason for all of the democrat party's current unpopularity with Independents has to do with one thing and one thing alone: The democrat party of today is way too far to the left. And that's exactly how the democrat party has dictated (errr, governed) over the past 2 years, all the while completely out of touch and out of step with the mainstream of America.

That is why dems will fail in November, and that is why so many of us Independents who don't care for the republican party either nonetheless look forward to voting against the democrat party here in about five weeks. Or, I guess you can just generically blame the economy, Politico (which makes you sound like a democrat party hack, BTW). Whatever floats your boat.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Nobody Saw This Coming

The Kansas City Chiefs were home dogs today to a talented San Francisco 49ers team but yet won easily, 31-10, to go 3-0 on the season. I think most Chiefs fans thought the Chiefs could certainly win this game, but that it would go down to the wire instead the utter domination we saw. Hilarious was watching 49ers head coach Mike Singletary calling a timeout with 3 seconds left in the game in order to allow his team to score a meaningless garbage touchdown in what was truly a complete ass-kickin'.

Following a bye next weekend, the Chiefs have two games that will be extremely difficult to win against Indy and Houston. But from there, the schedule really loosens up. Looks I may have to revise my preseason prediction of 7 wins (which itself would be a huge improvement from the garbage we've seen out at Arrowhead the last 3 years).

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Friday, September 24, 2010

How About Liberals & Conservatives: If They Can't Change Your Mind Through Namecalling & Shouting, Then They'll Just Punch You Right in the Face!

And so it was today that they had fistfights and wild brawls breaking out between supporters of dem Harry Reid and repub Sharron Angle at a Nevada Senate race forum (links to full story at bottom; the picture immediately above is from the event). And people wonder why I rarely bother anymore to even try to engage any of those people (yes, those people, I said) in as much as a simple conversation. In short, there is no talking to them (on either side).

Getting back to today's Nevada Knockout: There's really not a whole lot to say that's not obvious (sorry for the double negative), except for what may be one of the truly dumbest statements I've heard in at least a few days, as uttered by event organizer Rev. Robin Joyce: "I didn't expect anything like this, not in a million years." Hey Reverend: Where have you been living the last ten years, in a Mississippi $hithouse?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Episode 7 Recap of the Real Housewives of DC!
"Perception Gap"

Episode Synopsis: It's a weird episode as the Salahis are completely segregated in their storylines from the rest of the cast. And as for the rest of the cast: It's a steady diet of Gay Marriage, Gay Marriage, Gay Marriage, and them just for good measure, a bit more Gay Marriage! Plus some nice Cat-Erika fireworks light up the middle of the show!

Segment 1: At Cat’s house, she and husband Charles are looking at photos of Cat to possibly use on the cover of her upcoming book, “Inbox Full.” Charles (a White House photographer), who is about to leave town again, details his itinerary in the days to come. It includes taking photos of political types Bill Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and Tim Geithner as well as General Petraeus and the film director, Peter Jackson. As usual, Cat is not very excited about Charles being gone again.

Michaele Salahi is at the Willard Hotel in DC in the Thomas Jefferson Suite (the Four Seasons and its Royal Suite must have been all booked up this week). She’s with husband Tareq and practicing her cheerleading moves. She says that she’s a former Washington Redskins cheerleader (the first I’ve heard of that) from the 1980’s. She indicates she’ll be attending some halftime show at the Redskins first home game of the season. She also brags that she’s “building an empire” (I guess that’s one way of putting it) with her husband.

Then Michaele, sporting pom-poms, shows up at a cheerleading practice. I’m guessing that the halftime show will consist of a cheerleading routine by former Skins cheerleaders (assuming Michaele is telling the truth, which IS a big If), as the cheerleaders at this practice all look a bit older like Michaele. As they practice, it appears that Michaele is having problems following the routine.

At Stacie’s house, Stacie’s in the kitchen with her kids and friend Erika. Cat shows up with her daughters and Mary shows up with one of her sons. Cat and Erika are laughing it up (after Erika “teases” Cat about being “mean”), but there does seem to be some tension simmering between them (likely based on some of Cat’s past comments and/or behavior). The kids then engage in a game of guessing which mom is the oldest and which is the youngest. One of Cat’s daughters guesses that Cat is the youngest, and that the oldest “has to be Mary” (Ouch).

With the kids eating ice cream in the kitchen, the four ladies head off to the living room for wine and snacks. That’s when Lynda shows up. She says that celebrity stylist Paul Wharton is going to be hosting an upcoming meeting with DC city council member David Catania, and that everyone will be invited. Stacie notes that Catania is a “primary champion” for gay marriage (which I never realized was a big issue in municipal politics) in DC. Off camera, Stacie seems to indicate that she’s not quite sure how she feels about the whole gay marriage issue.

Then BOMBSHELL! Mary starts talking about Michaele’s claim to be a former Redskins cheerleader and says that Michaele is making the whole thing up! (NO! Who’da thunk!). Lynda wonders how someone can fabricate as much Michaele allegedly does. In a funny line, Lynda qips, “do you have to have a lobotomy in order to [act like Michaele]?”

Segment 2: The ladies are still hanging out at Stacie’s house, talking about Mary’s daughter Lolly. Then Fireworks! After one of Cat’s comments, Erika starts breakin’ Cat’s balls again, spouting: “That’s the mean girl coming out!” Cat is visibly starting to get perturbed with Erika, and the two commence to bickering. Cat does not like being called “mean” all the time by Erika, but Erika basically tells her that if the shoe fits…. Erika also complains that with Cat, everything always seems to be about Cat. Lynda gives Erika a bit of a reprimand, saying that Erika started all this by “getting off on your high horse.” Cat, who seems a bit shaken, says she feels like Erika is trying to verbally “annihilate” her. With that, Cat heads for the exits.

My take on this whole incident: While Cat can certainly be quite crass at times, she wasn’t being that way tonight – Erika obviously has an axe to grind with Cat, and Erika’s behavior here (she completely instigated all of this) was not appropriate at all. The other ladies seem to be in agreement with me, and express those sentiments to Erika. At the door, Stacie asks Cat to stay, but Cat is determined to take off. Cat, who is obviously not her normal self these days due to the continued absence of her husband and the recent suicide of her close friend, is in tears and just wants to get the hell out of there.

Then as Cat is about the head out the door, Erika comes into the foyer and tells Cat that she still wants the two of them to get to know each other and that they’ve just gotten off on the wrong foot. Erika further offers up the ol’ half-apology: “I apologize if you felt that I was attacking you.” But then Erika chides Cat for allegedly giving Erika “body language.” The two are about to start arguing again when Lynda intervenes and suggests it’s probably best for Cat to depart with her daughters (which finally occurs).

At Mary’s house the next day, Mary is in the living room with husband Rich (the reincarnation of Gary Cole’s Bill Lumbergh boss character from Office Space, as noted before) and daughter Lolly (age 23), who has just quit her job as an “executive assistant.” Lolly says that she doesn’t want a deadline for moving out of Mary’s house since Lolly is now unemployed. Rich seems willing to allow Lolly to stay until sometime in the spring, but he also clearly feels strongly that she needs to be looking to get out on her own. Rich presses Lolly on her future employment plans. Lolly says she wants to “make art make some money for me,” such as through painting. Rich tells her that art is more of a hobby, and that she needs to focus on getting a stable job. Mary, however, is more supportive of the whole “art” thing.

Segment 3: We’re at the office of the aforementioned DC city councilman, David Catania. He’s meeting with Paul Wharton and Stacie’s friend Erika (i.e. the Cat hater). Lynda is also attending the meeting, along with Stacie, her husband Jason and Mary. Cat even shows up in the same room with Erika! Cat then hilariously makes the rounds and says hello to everyone except Erika, who has then mean-ass little look on her face. Sorry, folks, but Erika has definitely made a rotten impression upon me this episode.

The odd premise of this meeting is to discuss the issue of gay marriage (and specifically, the “Marriage Equality Bill” – which I take it must be a new law that DC may enact). It was revealed in earlier episodes that Paul is gay, BTW. Lynda says that she’s a big supporter of gay marriage being permitted under the law (and “not just because I have a gay sister,” she says/reveals). Ironically, Cat and Erika seems to be on the same page on this one, both supporting gay marriage.

Mary expresses that she doesn’t feel this issue has anything to do with her, to which Paul Wharton is APPALLED! Hey Paul: Until you start getting involved in issues that affect ME and not you (such as the bullying epidemic in schools, drug and alcohol use by kids and teens, etc.), then don’t you sit there and tell me that I’m a bad person because I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about an issue that does not affect me, such as gay marriage. CHECK THAT, dude. OK, I’ve vented (and I generally like Paul, but his sentiment sort of pissed me off right there).

Stacie’s husband Jason seems generally opposed to gay marriage being legalized, saying that he thinks marriage should mean “one man, one woman.” Stacie indicates that she agrees with Jason. BTW, Stacie and Jason are both devoted democrats and Obama supporters, as has been revealed on prior episodes. I think it’s great that dems, repubs and Independents alike can all disagree on the gay marriage issue. Myself, I’m an Independent and likely well to the right of Stacie and Jason on most issues, but on this particular issue, I’d have to say that they are actually to the right of me (and I to the left of them). And disagreement doesn’t make anybody wrong or evil. Rather, it’s what America’s all about. But I digress.

Anyway, there’s a very clear tension between Wharton and Jason over this issue. Paul all but calls Jason a homophobe over his opposition to gay marriage. Jason to his credit remains calm and says that folks should not start tossing about terms like that with everyone who disagrees with them on the gay marriage issue. Great point. Calling Jason, one heck of a nice dude, a homophobe because he happens to believe that marriage should always be between a man and a woman (even if I may not agree) is just totally off-base on Wharton’s part.

Next, Stacie and Erika are meeting Mary for dinner. Mary (as we’ve seen before) has apparently already been hitting the juice pretty good and seems a bit drunk as Stacie and Erika arrive. Gay marriage is again the topic of discussion. Meantime Paul Wharton and Lynda are hanging out for cocktails. The show then starts going back and forth between these two sites as all of the participants talk about the Erika-Cat incident at Stacie’s house. Most everyone seems in general agreement: Cat is off her game lately due to a lot of stress, including the near-constant absence of her husband.

Segment 4: We’re back at Michaele Salahi’s hotel suite, where she’s telling personal assistant Jen about Michaele’s alleged cheerleading days back when she was in her 20’s. Michaele ironically starts discussing the possibility of enhancing her boobs (ironic since I’ve commented recently that I don’t see how she can possibly appear in Playboy sporting her current assets).

Segment 5: Tareq and Michaele Salahi are meeting with Virginia State Delegate (whatever that means/is), Dave Albo. They are talking about the possible reopening of the Salahis’ winery. Tareq is complaining about excessive government regulations (coming from the local county) on local wineries, such as not being to be open past 6 p.m. and limited number of winery customers at one time. The Salahis says that these rules will severely impinge upon their ability to have social events at their winery, which events, they say, will be the bread and butter of their winery income (WOW, the Salahis actually making sense for once!).

At Mary’s house, she’s hittin’ the wine again as she talks to daughter Lolly in the kitchen. They start talking about gay marriage (what else?!!!). Mary says she wants an opportunity to retract her statement (which pissed off Paul Wharton) about not feeling that gay marriage is an issue that has much to do with her. [C’mon, Mary – stick your guns for once!]

Cat is meeting Ted Gibson’s celebrity colorist, Jason Backe (as revealed in prior episodes, Ted and Jason are a gay couple). [Ted, BTW, owns the recently opened Ted Gibson Salon in DC]. Cat reveals that the gay marriage bill apparently passed (this was late 2009, and I’m surprised I don’t recall this – I’m assuming the bill was a DC-wide law, since DC is basically a state even though technically not having the complete legal status of a state).

Cat looks like she’s wearing a Bigfoot/Yeti hide on her chest (where’s Bob Barker & the PETA folks when you need them? ;) ). And SO, the conversation moves to – Take a Big Guess – GAY MARRIAGE (Again!). Cat also talks about wanting to leave the DC suburbs, which she complains are littered with ladies in spandex walking their dogs around. Then they discuss the Salahis and the weird, perplexing nature of their general behavior (hear hear!).

Segment 6: Tareq and Michaele are showing up at the home of Matt Carson, a “writer.” It’s revealed that the Salahis are looking to Matt to write a “tell-all” book about their lives and marriage (apparently they’ve gotten wind of Cat’s upcoming book and want a little taste to wet their beaks as well). Tareq’s proposed title? “Wine, War and Roses.” This dumbass goof-looking Matt chimes in, “yeah, that’s it!” BUT there is conflict between the parties! The Salahis are just looking for a ghostwriter, while this Matt wants his name to be at least somewhat associated with authoring this book. At the end of the day, says Michaele, she just wants the book to have a “happy ending.” END OF EPISODE.

Upcoming episode(s): OUTRAGEOUS! It was publicized all over the Net by Bravo that tonight was the Season Finale of this series, but yet it OBVIOUSLY WAS NOT. There’s still at least one episode left, which appears to at least in part get into the Salahis’ party crashing at the White House state dinner last November. Which is fine, but Bravo disingenuously and falsely putting it out there that this was the finale (obviously to garner extra viewers) is so completely Bush League. I will never cover again another Bravo reality series. Never.

Wow! Just Watched the Premier Episode of ABC's "Detroit 1-8-7." This Series Looks Like a Good One!

I watch very few broadcast network series anymore (I think the last ones I watched were "V" and "Jericho"). They typically bore me. But this week, make no mistake that there were two debuting series that were must-watch (at least in terms of catching the first episode): Detroit 1-8-7 and HBO's (not broadcast network, obviously) Boardwalk Empire. I have now watched both, and while I liked Boardwalk Empire (and will continue to watch it), I have to say that I was much more blown away by ABC's little series about Detroit homicide cops.

My interest in watching this series (which hereafter, I will just refer to as "Detroit") was sparked by slick ABC promos featuring the show's most recognizable star -- Michael Imperioli of Sopranos and Goodfellas fame. And Imperioli and his "Fitch" character are certainly at the center of this show.

Detroit impressed me by being a compelling mix of powerful and zany acting (although most of the actors are unknown to me) (check out the African-American homicide detective who goes around spouting Italian language proverbs as if he was Don Corleone or something), slick production, interesting and ultimately interconnected storylines, and a ton of funny and quirky situations and lines.

My personal favorite scene from Episode 1: A murder suspect, after being "interrogated" rather poorly by the green new homicide detective (whose mind is constantly preoccupied with thoughts of his wife very soon expecting their first child), invokes his Miranda right to see an attorney. That means the cops can't ask him any more questions, because if they do and the suspect says anything meaningful, then the cops likely won't be able to use such statement against the suspect in a court of law. Put another way: Once a suspect invokes his Miranda right to see an attorney, the questioning must stop until an attorney is present.

So Imperioli's Fitch character marches into the interrogation room and just starts staring at the suspect (named "Pooch"). And he does so for what seems like maybe 2-3 hours straight, never breaking pose. Over the duration of time, this Pooch, who so masterfully handled himself against the green detective, starts to go crazy at Fitch's incessant staring. Ultimately, Pooch can't take the staring anymore, and he breaks down and spills the beans on what he knows (he wasn't the killer, but has some relevant info). And you know what? All of that info might have been ultimately usable in a court of law (since Fitch never opened his mouth, although I assume Pooch's attorney would argue that the confession resulted from the "duress" of being forced to sit there at look at Imperioli's ugly mug for hours on end!). Classic scene.

Did the show strain credulity at times? Of course, but what crime drama except perhaps for the classic The Wire (at least until the final season) does not strain a bit a credulity from time to time? And so it was that the show depicted homicide detective Fitch being sent into a high-stakes hostage situation near the end of the episode (sorry, but I doubt that would ever happen in reality).

And there were also some classic lines, such as when Fitch is questioned about the truth of all the highly personal stuff he told the kidnapper in that final scene in order to get the kidnapper to put his gun down. Says Fitch, "It was true when I said it." And then as Fitch and the green detective gaze upon the massive Detroit PD homicide board (the big board that lists all the recently outstanding murder investigations, with open murders appearing in red and closed ones appearing in black), Fitch comments that such board "might be the last assembly line left in Detroit."

So I'll be catching Episode 2 of Detroit 1-8-7 next Tuesday, that's for darn sure. And so should you. Has all the makings of some great TV week in, week out. I'm not easily impressed. But I was tonight.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

"KFC Pays College Women For Ad Space on Their Buns": I Wonder If They'll Extend This to Boobs?

According to the linked story, KFC is paying these young ladies $500 to wear the pictured "Double Down" catchphrase on their ass. But will ads on the cans be next? And if so, won't the rates have to vary from lady to lady?

First off, I assume the rate would be per-boob as opposed to the apparent $500-for-your-entire-ass rate. Second of all, if I'm a big buxom lady, then I'm insisting that KFC buck up a considerable amount more for each of my boobs than they might otherwise be willing to pay to the beanpole ladies of the world.

For example, if I'm Keeley Hazell or Heidi Montag (or the anonymous lady pictured above, for that matter), then KFC's forking over at least 100 grand per can, non-negotiable.

But if I'm Michaele Salahi, then I'm thinking twice about even insisting on anything above $500 (lest I choose to risk getting laughed out of the proverbial room by some dirty old man in a Colonel Sanders get-up).

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Hey Democrat Party: Independents Decide Your Elections, & Your Polls Are Shrinking Faster Amongst Us Than Heidi Montag on a Downsizing Kick.

If you thought Obama & The Dems' polls have been abysmal for over a year now amongst Independents (the people who decide your elections), well those numbers only getting worse as we approach the November midterm elections. As reported this week on by democrat pollster Doug Schoen and co-writer Heather R. Higgins, based on their national polling numbers with respect to Independents (link to full story at bottom):

-Obama's favorability rating (i.e. whether people like him on a personal level) is down to 40% among Independents, with 55% of Independents having an unfavorable personal view of Obama (a 3% decline from just last month).

-Obama's job approval rating is down to 36% among Independents (down from 38% in August), with 60% of Independents disapproving of his job performance.

-Perhaps the most significant number of any of these: The republicans have a generic lead in the November midterm elections of 22 percentage points among Independents, an increase of 14 points since just last month.

-Independents view the GOP as the party more committed to cutting spending and taxes by a 37% margin (53% to 18%).

-That's bad news since Independents, by a margin of 55% to 29%, favor the repubs' approach of cutting spending rather the democrat party's approach of spending our way out of the ever-continuing economic disaster. (What say you to that, Paul Krugman, and all you other blinded and moronic Keynesian economic devotees?)

-By a margin of 52% to 37%, Independents favor a continuation of the Bush tax cuts for all Americans (hear hear! -- stick that in your class warfare pipe and smoke it, Obama!!!).

So what do all of these numbers add up to for the democrat party? Well, a Big Bowl 'a OUCH come November, methinks! And most Independents don't even like nor trust the republican party to any extent whatsoever. But we're damn sure devoted to ending the destructive and absolute power grip that the far leftist dems have held over our federal government the past few years.

As I've being saying since Sunday Bloody Sunday, democrat party: We Independents will see you in November. We continue to very much look forward to it. And what are you gonna do about it, leftists? Perhaps go **** yourselves, for starters.

Monday, September 20, 2010

"Madam President? It Could Happen"???
Sorry, But the Odds Are Better of a Third-Party Candidate Winning the Presidency Than Palin.

And considering that the top historical performance by a third-party candidate in a presidential election was the ultra-charismatic former president Teddy Roosevelt in 1912 (and he garnered only 27% of the popular vote), that would make Sarah Palin's chances about slim and none -- with slim locked tightly away somewhere in a backwoods Mississippi $hithouse.

Hell, I think that the likely unelectable Christine O'Donnell has a better chance of winning the Delaware Senate race than Palin has for the presidency. Yet, "It Could Happen" is tonight's inexplicable headline in the UK's The Independent (link at bottom).

And so why am I so negative about Palin's chances? Well, look up unelectable in Webster's dictionary, and you're likely to find her Belmont Stakes pic (above) right beside the likes of Howard Dean, Pat Buchanan and Teddy Kennedy in 1980. Palin has significant negative numbers amongst members of her own party, and I've consistently seen her running behind the likes of boring retreads like Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee in polling regarding potential 2012 GOP candidates.

But forget about the damn GOP. We Independents decide your elections, so you better also take a look at us. I think a decided majority of Independents would have trouble ever bringing themselves to vote for Palin for president. I look at myself: As much I look forward to voting against Obama in 2012, the GOP still must put up a candidate that I can stomach, and Palin ain't it.

And I've never been a Palin hater by any stretch. I have respect for a lot of what she's accomplished in terms of turning her 15 minutes of fame in 2008 into a bona fide celebrity status and new, enormous wealth. I don't think she's stupid, but I also don't think she possesses nearly the right mentality to be president. I'm afraid that I could never vote for her for that office. She just doesn't have the "right stuff," you might say.

Not that I could ever vote for Obama, because I most definitely could not. Instead, if it's him vs. Palin, I'm voting third party -- any third party candidate -- just as I usually do and have done for years in presidential elections.

But methinks never you mind, all you GOP Palin haters: Because not only do I think she's unelectable in a general election, I think she has virtually no chance of ever winning the GOP nomination for president in the first place. (See my second paragraph above). Nope, the only thing I think you repub folks might have to fear would be a Palin third party run in the almost certain event that she fails to win the GOP nomination.

The odds of such a run are small, but they are there. Although I do think it very unlikely that even a deranged right-winger like Palin would embark upon a course of action like that, which would be certain to hand Obama re-election in 2012. But when the huge ego of a celebrity politician is involved, who the hell really knows for sure, no?

More Proof Positive of the Out of Touch Nature of Obama & His Remaining Supporters: What Do They Have Against Franks & Beans?

At a townhall meeting today, an Obama supporter (and one of the White House's handpicked "questioners") complained to Obama about the economy and said she "thought we were well beyond the hot dogs and beans era" (also suggesting that such "might be where we're headed again") (story in first link at bottom).

So what do these folks have against franks and beans? I grew up on those (in particular, boiled hot dogs mixed with heated Van Camp's pork and beans). And I still love eating that dish on occasion. Granted, hot dogs are not very healthy, and I do try to temper that fact by eating the Oscar Meyer's ultra-low-fat hot dogs (which I find delicious, although they don't cook up very well on a grill).

And I think that I may just have to fix myself a nice hot pot of franks and beans tonight just to spite the Obama people. I mean, what's next from them? A ramen noodle blast, maybe? Perhaps that a bologna sandwich is beneath them? And I swear that if they start railing on my Slimeball Sandwiches (second link at bottom), them's really gonna be fightin' words!

But kidding aside: That lady's comments to Obama are getting quite the Net attention today. I heard her entire rant, and I actually for one second felt an ounce sorry for Obama since that lady personifies his core supporter and the type of person necessary to re-elect him. The lady didn't question any specific policy of Obama. Rather, she just whined and complained that the economy is bad, times are tough, and that she thought Obama was going to "change" things with all the visions of "hope" he conjured up on the campaign trail.

Translation: We elected you to take care of us, and why aren't you doing that? This is classic core dem voter mindset. Never mind the bothersome intricacies of policy, but instead just make me feel good emotionally and reassure me that someone will take care of us. Well lady, if you're really waiting for that kind of reassurance from anyone, I hope you're prepared for a long wait. That just ain't how life works (even with the most far left president and congress of my lifetime in power).

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Witchy Woman! Apparently Deranged Right-Wingers Aren't the Only Ones Over Whom Christine O'Donnell Has Cast a Spell From Time to Time!!!

One day this week the Tea Party favorite scores an improbable win in the Delaware GOP Senate primary, igniting an absolute outpouring of passion amongst far-right conservatives nationwide, and then this weekend it's revealed that she used to "dabble in witchcraft." And those are her words, not anyone else's (link to full story at bottom).

It seems that O'Donnell used to appear regularly on loony left-winger Bill Maher's old Politically Incorrect show in the late 1990's. And apparently one of her favorite topics for discussion during those appearances was her background as a "witch." Maher revealed some of those past statements on this weekend's Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO.

And truly, you just can't make this stuff up! O'Donnell is quoted as previously telling Maher that while she did used to "dabble in witchcraft" and "hung around with people who were doing this stuff," she officially "never a joined a coven." Well, that's reassuring! What a big non-story, right? Wrong.

She also told Maher that one of her first dates was with "a witch on a satanic altar." But don't get the wrong impression. It's not like this was some sort of gore-fest. "There was just a little blood" on said altar, she told Maher. And the apparent motivation for the hookup was just a little common case of the late night munchies: "We went to a movie and then had a midnight picnic on a Satanic altar," she's quoted as saying.

OK, so all kidding aside. Several observations here:

-First, right from the shoot: THIS is the lady that right-wingers across the country have been touting all week?!? How completely embarrassing. I guess the defense from the right-wingers will be, "everyone has something crazy they did when they were younger." And that's correct. But witchcraft?!? What kind of nut are we dealing with here? And I suppose that if that particular defense doesn't work out so well for the right-wingers, they can always fall back on the ol', "she never actually joined a coven" argument. Yeah, that sounds like a real winner.

-Next, kudos to Maher for dropping these bombshells, since no one else in the media picked up on them. If you've read this space, you know that I can't stand Maher nor his loony left-winger-dominated show on HBO. I stopped watching it over a year ago (when it became apparent that the humor and laughs were being far outweighed by the blinded far left ideology and mean-spiritedness of him and his left-wing dominated "panel").

-Hilarious how Maher sat on these gems until after the Delaware GOP primary, since his far-left ilk desperately wanted O'Donnell to win the primary because she's likely unelectable. But here's the funny thing to me: While I think this witchcraft silliness makes O'Donnell look like a complete whack-job, I doubt the Delaware voters will pay much attention to it. Unfortunately for O'Donnell and her conservative adorers nationwide, however, those same voters aren't so likely to turn a blind eye to O'Donnell The Deadbeat, who in the past has periods of failing to pay her taxes and her house payments. If the democrat party is smart, they'll play up the Deadbeat angle 100 times harder than the Witchcraft stuff, methinks. People might be able to laugh off a witch, but nobody likes a freakin' deadbeat, even in a bad economy.

-How in the hell did the GOP minions who opposed O'Donnell during the primary (including her opponent, Castle) not get ahold of these witchcraft gems during the primary campaign?!?! Oh My God! Talk about being asleep at the wheel! She made these ridiculous statements on a nationally broadcast show in the late 90's, and her GOP opponents failed to pick up on it?! Three words: ID-I-OTS!!!

-And a final thought: Who's the biggest winner in this whole equation? Well, I'm going to drop a name that I haven't yet mentioned: Sarah Mother-Bleeping Palin! After all, who ever again is going to accuse Palin of being the biggest lunatic female in the republican party whilst the GOP has "witches" like O'Donnell running around as one of the party's standard-bearers?!? Chalk up a nice "get" for Palin. No wonder Palin endorsed O'Donnell in the Delaware GOP Senate primary!!!!!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Can You See Yourself Hanging Out With Any of This Crew? I Can't. And That Is Why the Democrat Party Will Fail in November.

...The democrat party of 2010 has no connection with the people whatsoever. And obviously I ain't just talkin' about a lack of connection to the deranged right-winger tea partiers. The Independents have not only left the building, but we're already a couple of hundred yards down the road.

Depicted in the main pic above is Harvard law school grad and former constitutional law professor Obama (which I still find rather unbelievable given his obvious disdain for much of the Constitution), flanked by Dartmouth grad and treasury secretary Tim Geithner, as Obama announces his appointment today of Harvard law professor Elizabeth Warren to be the "architect" of the new "consumer financial protection bureau" (whatever that means, but I doubt it can be good news for small businesses).

What, was Professor Kingsfield from The Paper Chase (second picture above) not available? No doubt he must have been too busy engaging in new analysis of Carbolic Smoke Ball and/or the "Hairy Hand" decision (Hawkins v. McGee, 145 A. 641 (N.H. 1929)). I myself, shortly, am off to the $hithouse to try out my novel new interpretation of The Rule in Dumpor's Case.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Episode 6 Recap of the Real Housewives of DC!
"Securing Homeland"

Episode Synopsis: Cat suffers a heartbreaking tragedy in her personal life. Meantime Tareq Salahi barely escapes a nice little trip to the ol' hoosegow!

Segment 1: At Mary’s house, Cat shows up for a visit. They start in saucin' on the white wine (in the middle of the day) and start talking about their daughters. They talk about the struggles of child-rearing, and Cat complains about her White House photographer husband (Charles) being away from home so much. “Sometimes I feel like a single mother all over again,” says Cat. Mary says she struggles with “mother’s guilt” constantly (apparently meaning the feeling that she’s not doing enough for her kids). Mary also talks about her struggles keeping daughter Lolly out of Mary’s closet, forcing Mary to put a biometric lock on the door (which only Mary’s fingerprint can open). Mary also discloses she’s been in therapy for seven years (no word on whether the therapy followed the closet lock or vice versa). Mary also reveals that she has a sister who is the exact same age as Mary’s daughter Lolly (23 years old).

At Stacie’s house, she receives a phone call from Michaele Salahi. Michaele says that she and husband Tareq want to buy a new home inside of DC, and so Michaele wants to talk to Stacie (who works in real estate) about houses. They resolve to meet at the Four Seasons, where Michaele says she’s staying in the Royal Suite.

Next we jump to Lynda’s apartment, where’s she with Dawn The Dog Trainer and William (a dog owner). Lynda is worried about her move to her new house, because the home won’t be as secure as her apartment is. She wants to look into getting a watchdog in the form of a German Shepherd puppie that Dawn could train. Dawn is said to have trained the Obamas dog, Bo.

At the Four Seasons, Stacie enters the very large Royal Suite (which is like a small house) to meet with the Salahis to talk about their desire to get a house within DC. Stacie comments off camera that she doesn’t know where the money is coming from for the Salahis (since Stacie has observed that their winery/vineyard is not really “operational” -- which is a new bit of info this episode!). Tareq says that since he and Michaele do a lot of entertaining, they need a joint that can accommodate parties of up to 200-250 people. Tareq claims they are willing to go up to $8 million for a property, and that he wants to fund the home through his Oasis winery business. Off camera, Stacie comments that she can’t believe what she’s hearing, since she believes the winery is basically “defunct” in terms of doing any present business. Stacie tells them she will need to get paperwork from their banker verifying assets before properties can be looked at. The Salahis agree.

Segment 2: We’re at Cat’s house, where Cat has received the very sad news that a good friend of hers named Phil has committed suicide. Cat breaks down when interviewed later about the entire situation and the fact that husband Charles isn’t around right now to support her. She talks to Mary on the phone, who tries to prop her up.

In perhaps the funniest scenes from this week's episode, Lynda is visiting her new house, which she comments is near Mary’s house. With Lynda are Mary and Deborah, Lynda’s designer. Already at the house is KC, Lynda’s assistant and the girlfriend to Lynda’s son. Lynda says she wants to consult with an astrologer concerning her move to his new house. Next she lights some sage on fire in the house, purportedly to clear the “past energy” of prior inhabitants of the home. Deborah comments that the burning sage smells like pot. “Project beautiful energy,” Lynda implores the others as they all go around waving their burning sage in the air. She directs Mary to go over and “bless” some French doors. Next Lynda tells some windows that she loves them (and therefore she gives them a good blessing). Off camera Lynda says she was raised Southern Baptist, but that she converted to Judaism at the age of 20. So the group heads outdoors in order to read a Jewish house blessing to the house (which was apparently so moved, it said not a word in response). Then, just for good measure, Lynda starts sprinkling holy water all over the place.

In DC, the Salahis arrive in a super-stretch limo to pick up Stacie at a shop. They are going to gander at some houses by driving by them as a first step towards possibly visiting them. The first house is in the Spring Valley area, where Stacie says a lot of politicians live (which I’d think would be huge negative for the property values). Stacie tells them again that she needs to pre-qualify the Salahis with their banker before she’ll be able to make appointments to actually visit the inside of any of these homes. Stacie comments off camera that the Salahis still haven’t provided that information.

THEN BOMBSHELL! Stacie comes right out and asks them, “what is going on with the vineyard” (since Stacie has observed that it’s not doing any business). But the Salahis don’t seem to really provide a straight answer, instead going on about how Tareq’s mom sued him over ownership of the vineyard. Off camera, Stacie worries that the Salahis don’t have the money or finances to purchase an expensive property (ya think, Stacie!). The threesome arrives back at the Four Seasons to drop off the Salahis.

Segment 3: We’re back at Mary’s house, where husband Rich is talking to Mary with his typical voice inflection reminiscent of Gary Cole’s Bill Lumbergh boss character from the motion picture Office Space. Again Mary starts going on and on about her closet. She makes the rather peculiar comment that it’s a place where she likes to “hang out.” Mary tells Rich that in the past few days, Mary forgot to close said closet, which gave daughter Lolly the opportunity to swoop in and borrow some clothes without asking. Rich reminds Mary, “prevention is 99% of the cure in this situation” (much like possession is 9/10’s the law, with Lolly currently possessing a bunch of Mary’s garments). Rich comments that maybe he needs to get an Internet site visit counter on his forehead for every time he’s going to have this same conversation about Mary forgetting to close and secure the closet door. Mary remarks off camera that she’s really doesn’t care for Rich’s sarcasm. It’s clear that Rich is sick and tired of Mary complaining after she forgets to close her closet.

Jump now to Stacie’s house, where’s she making spaghetti for dinner for husband Jason, who has just arrived home from work. Jason indicates that spaghetti is one of his favorites (same as me), which just further cements my connection to Jason on this show (truth be told, he and Rich both seem like very nice, fairly down-to-earth guys). Jason brings up the subject of Stacie’s birthmother, noting they first found out about and got in contact with her 2.5 years ago, but that they haven’t learned a whole lot of new information since. (If you don’t recall the backstory here, Stacie was given up for adoption as an infant by her Caucasian mother, who has told Stacie that her father is Nigerian; however, mama has so far refused to give Stacie information on daddy’s name and how to contact him).

Stacie and Jason discuss how mama appears to be a dead end in terms of finding daddy. Stacie comments off camera that this situation pisses off Jason because he knows how important it is to Stacie to learn the identity of, and to get in contact with, her birthfather. It’s revealed that Jason has found mama’s son (Stacie’s Caucasian half-brother) on Facebook, and Jason raises the possibility of contacting the son. Stacie is reluctant, because she knows mama thinks it will be an issue for mama’s family if they find out mama has a long lost child AND with a black man. [BTW, I get the whole long lost child shock thing, but the angle of it being an even bigger shock to the family because a black man was the dad seems completely abhorrent to me in this whole day and age. We really do all need to get past that sort of mindless silliness.]. But despite her reservations, Stacie then agrees to allow Jason to contact the half-brother on Facebook.

At Lynda’s apartment, KC is helping to dress Lynda for the charity Men Against Breast Cancer gala event, which Lynda’s sons will be attending with her. Lynda’s half-her-age (and twice-her-size) boyfriend Ebong is also going and shows up at the apartment. At the event, Mary and Rich are also there and sit down for dinner at the same roundtable with Lynda, Ebong and Cat (who has also shown up). Lynda has helped out the charity’s president, Marc Heyison, by organizing a men’s fashion show for the event. And so the male models start traipsing out, hearing the catcalls (no pun intended) of Cat and Mary. Celebrity hair stylist Paul Wharton, who has been featured on prior episodes, is one of the models. Off camera, Lynda notes that while Cat was having a good time, she seemed to also have her mind on her deceased friend.

Mary’s daughter Lolly is also at the event, and Lolly is sporting the clothes she lifted from Mary’s open closet! Mary gets a whiff of this: “OH MY GOD! My Clothes!” Mary then starts doing all of these very odd facial contortions (sort of like a wild jungle feline) as she looks in horror upon Lolly wearing one of Mary’s dresses. Cat notices this and starts making fun of Mary (outside of Mary’s hearing) to Lynda: “Mary should get a refund from her therapist and change her locks again,” whispers Cat to Lynda.

Then this zany-looking newcomer to the show – Christopher, Lynda’s ex-boyfriend – arrives. This dude looks like an oddball three-way cross between an NBA lottery hopeful, that millionaire dude from Gilligan’s Island, and one of the hipsters from that old fake pop music group from before I was born, The Monkees. But Cat tells Christopher that his look and eccentric dress remind her very much of her friend (the one who just committed suicide). Cat remarks off-camera that it was as if the spirit of her friend Phil had visited their table. Cat then loses her emotions at the table in front of everyone (i.e., she starts balling).

Segment 4: We’re at Lynda’s Georgetown apartment, where she’s sitting down to dinner with her kids. Daughter Jessica (age 24) talks about a petition being circulated to all the colleges and universities in the United States to change the drinking age to 18 so that college students aren’t “so clandestine” about their alcohol use, which she says results in more-abusive drinking behavior (which is likely true). Lynda is supportive: “It makes sense – if you can fight for your country, then you should be able to have a cocktail.” [To slightly change the old ‘60s mantra: You’re Old Enough to Kill, But Not For Drinkin’! And actually, I’m inclined to agree.]

Segment 5: At Cat’s house, she is telling daughter Jade about the experience of meeting Christopher the prior evening. Cat says she’s decided not to attend Phil’s funeral because she’s not ready to say goodbye to him yet. Jade is supportive, telling Cat to go with her “gut instinct.”

Next we move to Mary’s house, where Rich and Mary welcome an arriving Stacie and Jason. The four sit down for dinner and start talking about Tareq Sahahi’s recent allegations that Lolly was involved in the theft of his car and his beloved “polo gear.” Mary expresses her thanks to Jason for defending her as Tareq dropped the allegations (since Rich wasn’t in attendance at the Salahis’ event). Mary says she has a lot of friends who knew Tareq growing up. She indicates that Tareq’s always been a “punk.” She says that Tareq’s problematic behavior once got him shipped off by his parents to military school. Mary also talks about the Salahis' alleged track record in DC of “wronging people and not paying their bills.” However, Mary says that she believes that Michaele “means well.” [BTW, these descriptions comport with my general impressions from this series: I think Tareq is a head-case and a deadbeat, while Michaele is rather harmless.] Mary and Stacie do seem to disagree, however, on whether Michaele is happy being married to Tareq, with Mary thinking not and Stacie appearing to think so.

Out at the Salahis’ Oasis winery/vineyard, Tareq basically confirms what Stacie said earlier – the winery is not currently doing any business (no wonder the Salahis were serving beer instead of wine at the winery on that earlier episode!). He says that the winery has clearly gone through some hard times and financial issues, but he brags that it’s going to make a comeback and reopen soon. [BTW, I officially now have NO desire to see Michaele’s upcoming Playboy nude spread – gal has no breasts whatsoever. Looks like a dead beanpole trying to grow on the wrong side of an Alabama $hithouse.]

THEN NEXT BOMBSHELL! As the Salahis engage in a conversation at the winery about the joint’s imminent comeback to its prior glory, the sounds of cop car sirens start swirling around outside! Several cars and a paddy wagon from the local sheriff’s department have arrived at the Oasis winery!

Segment 6: Turns out that Tareq’s mama is at it again, having called the police to try to get Tareq removed from the Oasis property. [The legal basis for this is unclear, but there certainly must be some facially credible basis if the cops sent out the troops in full force to follow up on mama’s request]. Michaele then becomes emotional as she talks about how mama’s constant grudge match with sonny boy has really taken a toll on her better mental health. In this very weird situation, Tareq talks to the cops out of the microphone’s hearing, and whatever he says satisfies them, as they depart without slappin’ the ole cuffs on him. But as noted above, why were these cops so willing to arrive en masse like that following mama’s phone call? For certain: We’re not being told anywhere close to the full story of what’s going on here, which is rather pathetic on the part of the Bravo Network producers. At any rate, END OF EPISODE.

Preview of upcoming episodes (I believe there are only 2 left this season): Just a lot of drama, something about Michaele faking being a Washington Redskins cheerleader, more problems between Cat and black people, and Tareq visits his lawyer. Be sure to return next week for my next insightful yet largely irrelevant recap of this [INSERT DEROGATORY ADJECTIVE] show!!!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Never Trust a Frenchman. Or a French Lady, As the Case May Be. Carla Bruni Rats Out Michelle Obama For Saying That Being 1st Lady Is a "Hellish" Job!

I've heard of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." But "Don't Ask! It's Hell!"? That's what Michelle Obama reportedly told French first lady Carla Bruni (pictured above) in March when Bruni asked Obama how it's been to be the American first lady. Just for good measure, Michelle Obama threw in a gratuitous, "I Can't Stand It!" This bombshell will purportedly be revealed in an upcoming book by Bruni entitled, Carla and The Ambitious (link to full story, which just came out tonight, at bottom).

Michelle should have known better than to trust a French person. After all, when those stinky snobs aren't out there somewhere surrending to someone, they're rattin' out private conversations faster than Sammy "The Bull" Gravano in a cheese factory.

But ultimately I don't think we should exactly shoot the messenger here, and Michelle should answer for those comments if she made them. I think it likely they'll just run out Karl Rove's illegitimate son, Robert Gibbs, tomorrow to deny that Michelle ever made the comments. Yeah, like that'll be real believable! (If Gibbs claimed Michelle did make the comments, then I might believe that she didn't).

If Michelle did make the comments (and I think it probable that she did), I have the following reaction to her: She's the one out there constantly foisting herself into the public eye, taking lavish vacations and preaching to us all the time about what to eat and how to live (while her husband never met a fat-drenched cheeseburger he didn't like and is known to be a regular cigarette smoker).

To paraphrase the famous words of a well-known Missouri democrat (and a type of democrat we don't see anymore) from Kansas City: "If you can't take the heat, get the hell out the damn kitchen," First Lady. After all, far more-accomplished folks than yourself have served gracefully and honorably as the American first lady without taking a $hit all over the position.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I Bet You Won't Be Seeing These Stupid Grins Come November. Meantime Far Left Dems Must Be Laughing Around the Block Tonight Over O'Donnell's Win.

The Christine O'Donnell (pictured above)/Mike Castle saga in Delaware may be the best evidence that I've seen yet of how the far right base of the republican party is far more interested in so-called ideological "purity" than victory in November. In case you haven't followed the Delaware GOP Senate primary, O'Donnell -- a favorite of the tea party, Sarah Palin and Rush Slimebaugh -- defeated Rep. Mike Castle (the republican candidate supported by the so-called GOP "establishment") tonight.

In the paraphrased words of conservative commentator Charles Krauthammer last night (link at bottom): O'Donnell's endorsement and support by the likes of Palin, Slimebaugh and the tea party is politically moronic since Castle (viewed by conservative ideologues to be "too moderate") likely wins in the general election, while O'Donnell probably loses given the voter makeup and political culture of Delaware (which is very democrat party-oriented). Krauthammer further notes: The Delaware result could be the difference between the GOP gaining control of the Senate in November versus the democrat party retaining majority control.

So what you have here is the intolerant, ideologically-blinded far right base of the GOP (reflected by the tea party and your Palins and Slimebaughs of the world) caring more about running candidates exactly like them than actually winning elections. It's frankly not much different from what we often see in the democrat party -- an equally small-tent party in which the far leftist base often spends inordinate amounts of money to try to defeat dem officeholders and candidates similarly viewed as being "too moderate." And people wonder why I would never consider affiliating myself with either of these parties.

But truth be told, I couldn't give a rat's behind about any of this. Rather, I'm just observing the interesting politics of it all. I'm on record last spring predicting that the GOP likely doesn't take the Senate in November but probably takes the House. You'll also know if you read this space that I actually want the GOP to take the House so that we can restore an ounce of much needed power balance to DC between these two out-of-touch, extreme-controlled parties. Further, the GOP will certainly make gains in the Senate, making it much more difficult for the far left to ram-rod disgusting pieces of legislation (such as the "health care" bill on Black Christmas) through the Senate.

Meanwhile, and to get back to a point I mentioned at the top, the far left has to be having a good time tonight with O'Donnell's victory. To that I say enjoy the small victories, leftists. Because that's the only type of victory your ilk is going to be enjoying for the foreseeable future.

This Was a Coming Out Party! Kansas City Chiefs Whip Superbowl Contender San Diego Chargers on Week 1 Monday Night Football,

As a long-suffering fan of the Missouri Tigers, Kansas City Royals and Kansas City Chiefs, I have to say that tonight's MNF (the Chiefs' first appearance therein in years) was a fair amount of fun! It reminded me (particularly in the first half) of the fun of watching the Chiefs on MNF year-in, year-out during some of those very good teams of the 1990s.

But let me say that I'm under no illusions. This is a fundamentally flawed Chiefs team. If at the end of 16 games, their defense is anywhere near even middle of the pack amongst the 32 teams, I will be shocked. That will be a team weakness. And they will have a mediocre-at-best passing game (as exhibited tonight), with the running game (along with special teams) being the strength of this team. I think we get 8 wins at most from this team (9 on the outside realm of probability), with my prediction going into the season being 7 wins. But the 4, 2, 4 win seasons are officially over.

And that negativity aside, this season isn't very important. The important thing is that the Chiefs are a team on the rise. They had an outstanding offseason, through what appears to be a very good draft, through some nice free agents signings, and through bringing in Weis and Crennel as new coordinators. Put another way, this season, I believe, is just a building block, and the future's so bright, I might have to even put on some shades (and I've never been much of a shades dude, much to the general detriment of my eyesight, no doubt).

Monday, September 13, 2010

Now Why Would She Wanna Go & Do Something Like That? "Woman Has World's Largest Breast Implants -- Removed"!

If you got 'em, flaunt 'em, I say. But Houston's Sheyla Hershey (pictured at left and, for all I know, perhaps even above) apparently had a recent change of chest (errrr, heart) on the whole issue of her M-cup honkers. Once motivated by the desire "to achieve fame for having the largest breasts in the world," problems with infections in her monstrous fake boobs led Sheyla late last week to have a dramatic downsizing surgery (a literal change of chest) (link to full story at bottom).

And Sheyla has really changed her tune about her t***: "I just want a normal size like a normal housewife has. Even though I love to have huge breasts, I'm going to try to live with it," she says. Her M-cups were actually the result of four total implants (now removed), two per can. The linked story says that operations to receive such huge implants are illegal in the U.S. (and apparently in much of the civilized world). For example, Sheyla had to travel to Brazil for her "enhancement" surgery earlier this summer. And now all for naught?

Well, I'm guessing that Sheyla at some point will get the itch to tool those babies back up. After all, she's had 30 prior plastic surgeries, which makes Heidi Montag look like small potatoes (and in more ways than one prior to Sheyla's reduction surgery last week). I think that previously burning desire to have the title of "largest breasts in the world" will be rekindled before too long. I just can't see this lady settling for the "normal housewife" look for more than, what, a week or two? [BTW, I was never aware that "normal housewives" all have smallish breasts. Learn something new every day.]

Sunday, September 12, 2010

"Doomsday Warnings of US Apocalypse Gain Ground." But I Quote Granny Hawkins From The Outlaw Josey Wales: All That Talk Don't Mean Diddly Squat!

Sure enough, things are real bad in the country right now. And if we don't get our national debt and annual deficits under control, things are going to get a whole lot worse. But the "apocalypse"? Please. As much as so many people worldwide and within this country would like to see that occur, it won't. This is the greatest, most free country in the history of the civilized world, despite whatever past transgressions and overbearing foreign policies (and there have been plenty) that the far left may want to harp on for the 10 trillionth time (yawn). We will endure. Things may get a lot worse before they ever get better, but America ain't goin' away anytime soon, boys and girls. And if you have a problem with that, go **** yourself.

Ugliness on 9-11.

I see people burning Korans and burning flags and wanting to get in fistfights over mosques at Ground Zero. My reaction? What a bunch of absolute ugliness and mindlessness from out-of-touch, out-of-mainstream freaks on both the far right and far left. Same as it ever was. Never changes. Makes me glad I was basically holed up in a cave all day reading a boring-ass trial transcript in connection with a brief that I'm working on. Sometimes work is the best escape from the awful state of affairs that has come to represent the United States these days, as well as the rest of the world.

Here's a Bizarro Blast: Thank You My Wonderful Work For Providing Me With Such a Wonderful Distraction From The World Around Me At Large! It's pretty pathetic when things are SO BAD that working all day on a weekend provides a welcome distraction from how bad things have become. But that's where 10 Plus years of Bush and Obama (the 2 worst presidents of my lifetime) have gotten us. At least I NEVER voted for either of their sorry asses. What's your excuse?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Sarah v. Arnold! It's Hilarious When Members Of Our Two Destructive, Out-of-Touch Political Parties Fight Amongst Themselves & Eat Their Own!

And so it was today that Arnold took a page from the far-left playbook and made fun of Palin for a quote she never even uttered (rather the fake Palin, Tina Fey's SNL character, said it). The fake quote: "I can see Russia from my house." So Arnold posts on Twitter a pic of him looking out the airplane window at an Alaska mountain, and the text of the tweet says, "looking everywhere but can't see Russia from here." I actually don't place a huge amount of blame on Arnold for his dumbass blast (rather I blame Bush), since dude has never exactly been known to be too overly quick on the uptake.

So anyway, Palin's Twitter retort? Here it is: "Arnold should have landed [in Alaska]. I could have explained our multi-billion dollar state surplus & US energy security efforts. What's he been up to?" OUCH! Matter of fact, Quadruple Ouch! I doubt Palin (who strikes me as being on about the same intellectual plane as the Governator himself) drafted that blast, but she obviously has some pretty decent writers on staff.

So who won this faceoff between the (1) deranged right-winger & apparent breast augmenter (not that there's anything wrong with that) and (2) the most left-of-me dude in the history of the world who actually calls himself a republican (which is saying something, since I eschew right-wingers and the repub party)? Well, Sarah definitely got the upper hand and victory on this one. Methinks the intellectually challenged hollywood star needs to stop writing his own tweets and enlist some writing talent as Palin obviously has. Just some friendly political advice.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Episode 5 Recap of the Real Housewives of DC!
"Special Interests"

Episode Synopsis: The Real Housewives of DC returns from 2-week hiatus with a BANG, as Tareq Salahi drops a BOMB on Mary's family and Cat pulls the biggest and most hilarious stunt yet seen on this series!

Segment 1: The episode begins by picking up right where the last one left off – everyone (except Cat and Lynda) is at the Salahis’ Oasis vineyard having dinner, and Tareq Salahi has something to say pertaining to Mary. He says that he and Michaele had a $90K car stolen from them at the Americas Polo Cup event. He says he was told by people from the FBI that Mary’s daughter, Lolly, was on Facebook bragging about having taken a “joyride” in the car while she and/or her friends were wearing the polo garb that Tareq had left in the car (which is actually pretty funny, although Tareq seems very upset at the prospect).

Stacie’s husband, Jason, finds it hard to believe that the FBI is monitoring “polo theft.” Stacie and Jason start becoming visibly upset with the Salahis (while Mary’s said nothing so far) and the fact they seem to care more about Tareq’s polo gear (and the alleged impact on their “charity”) than pinning down whether or not Mary’s daughter was actually involved in the theft. Jason is hilarious! He says that if Tareq was talking about his daughter, “I’d be over the top of this table and on your ass so quick!” Then Mary starts to cry after an angry Tareq proclaims, “there’s a federal investigation going on and EVERYBODY’S goin’ to jail!” At that, dinner’s over and everyone makes a beeline for the exits.

Mary, Stacie and Jason are then in the limo heading back to town. They talk about how Tareq brought his accusation out of “left field” at the very end of what had been a “beautiful day.” Mary criticizes Tareq for even bringing this up without being able to substantiate his accusations with anything more than what he had (i.e. alleged hearsay statements from purported "FBI agents").

Segment 2: We’re with Lynda, Cat and Stacie at the Red Door Spa in DC, and they immediately talk about the grape stomping event and dinner at the Salahis’ vineyard. (Cat was at the event, but left before dinner, while Lynda did not attend). Stacie tells Lynda about Tareq’s accusations with respect to Mary’s daughter, Lolly. Lynda remarks that it was awful for Tareq (even if his accusations are true) to bring that up at a dinner party he was hosting. But Lynda indicates she’s not surprised, calling Tareq “a total whack job.” Lynda thinks the Salahis (or at least Tareq) are probably making up the whole story. Cat expresses that she’s sorry she wasn’t there to defend Mary.

At Mary’s house, she is discussing Tareq’s accusations with Lolly. Lolly denies the accusations, although Mary cryptically says that “Lolly posted something on Facebook,” but that such posting in no way implicates her in an FBI investigation (so what the hell did she post?!). Mary’s husband Rich expresses his anger that Tareq made these accusations at the dinner party when Rich was not there. Mary asks Rich how he plans to handle it the next time he’s around Tareq. He says, “it depends how much alcohol I’ve had.” [Nice response!] Lolly advises her parents not to confront nor give the time of day to the Salahis over these accusations. But Mary seems determined to confront the Salahis. She says first, however, that she and Rich are going to make some calls to law enforcement and do their “homework” to make sure Tareq’s claims are false.

Next Michaele Salahi is out to dinner with her assistant, Jen, at the Palette restaurant in DC. They also talk about the grape stomp/dinner event at the vineyard. Michaele thanks Jen for helping that day and event be “perfect” (Perfect?!). They say they think that Cat was rude, cynical and mean throughout the event until she finally departed early. Jen, BTW, was the one who made the comment implying that Cat was acting like a "bitch" at the grape stomp (which Cat heard -- this plays out more fully later in this episode -- read on...).

Michaele says that Cat was not acting like a “Washingtonian lady” at the event. She compares Lynda, Mary and Cat to the wicked stepmother and stepsisters from Cinderella, and then says that she (Michaele) feels like Cinderella. [I can’t recall whether Cinderella ever posed for a nude Playboy spread (?), but I digress.] Michaele actually blames Mary for “pushing” Tareq to spout his accusations at the dinner. The comments that ensue between Michaele and Jen make clear that they both believe there’s no question that Mary’s daughter was involved in the alleged car and polo gear theft.

Segment 3: Now we’re back again at Mary’s house. Mary says that apparently all “they” (apparently referring to the Salahis) have is a comment that daughter Lolly posted in Facebook concerning a picture posted there by one of Lolly’s friends. Rich says he’s contacted the FBI and every police jurisdiction within 100 miles, and that no one has been able to tell him that Lolly has been implicated or suspected in any current criminal investigation. Mary and Rich conclude that the Salahis are making the whole thing up [Wouldn't surprise me, but I bet that if this thing is false, it's Tareq making it up, not Michaele]. Mary says that the Salahis like to make things up in order to deflect attention away from their own problems.

At Lynda’s apartment, she is on the phone with Stacie. Lynda wants to talk to Stacie (who works in real estate) about Lynda’s ongoing house-hunting effort. Lynda says that she’s on the verge of buying a certain house in McLean, Virginia, and that Lynda has already made two offers. Stacie has a few reservations, thinking DC is a better location to buy a house (although she’s not totally opposed the suburb of McLean either).

Cat is at The Mayflower hotel having lunch with republican lobbyist Edwina Rogers (to whom we were first introduced in Episode 1). Cat first met Edwina on that episode. Cat describes Edwina as “one of the most powerful lobbyists in DC.” Edwina mentions that she’s now working on “health care reform” (this episode was shot in fall of 2009). Cat tells her, “I heard that you were a republican lobbyist for health care, and I thought that sounded like a bit of an oxymoron.” Edwina is clearly annoyed by that little comment!

Cat makes clear that she favors the British system of health care, under which the government pays for the health care of the citizens (“It’s ‘verging’ on criminal that people should have to pay to have health care,” Cat says). Cat then starts ranting about tens of thousands of Americans dying every year because they don’t have health insurance (I’d like to get a cite from her on that one, but oh well). Edwina obviously doesn’t agree with anything Cat’s saying, but seems unwilling to engage in debates with Cat. [And I don’t blame her: It long ago became apparent to me that trying to engage in private debates with ideologues on either side of things is a complete waste of time, but again I digress]. Instead, Edwina nicely tries to change the subject.

But Cat persists and starts breakin’ Edwina’s balls about voting for McCain when Sarah Palin was on the ticket (for the record, I voted 3rd party and did not vote for either Obama or McCain)! [I do have to hand it to Cat – she is MASTERFUL at pushing others’ buttons, although oftentimes it’s not even intentional!] Cat seems appalled when Edwina says that she thinks that Palin would have made a “fine” VP [I have to side with Cat on that one!]. Edwina sees this whole conversation really starting to die on the vine, and she tries to switch the topic back to health care, inviting Cat and her husband (and any friends that Cat wants to invite) to an upcoming party (that Edwina’s throwing) that will have both democrat and republican powerbrokers in attendance.

Edwina then jokes that maybe Cat will consider becoming a republican. Cat says “not in a million years – you guys are a dying breed,” which Edwina laughs off. [Cat, if only it was so! If only the deranged republicans and the loony dems such as yourself were ever a “dying breed” – but alas, you fools on both extremes NEVER go away. But I digress for the third time!]

Lynda is at The Madison hotel and sitting down for dinner with her half-her-age boyfriend, Ebong. She makes a weird reference to “hot flashes,” and Ebong laughs. [Yeah, a much older girlfriend talking about hot flashes – a regular barrel of laughs.] Then Stacie and Jason show up to sit down for dinner with Lynda and Ebong. They talk about how Lynda is planning to leave her Georgetown apartment in DC and move to a new house “across the river” in McLean, VA. Stacie remarks off-camera that Lynda should stay in DC, which Stacie thinks is the much cooler and “hipper” place to be. But Lynda says that she does plan to move back to DC within a few years.

Then Stacie starts talking about her birthmother and birthfather. [Back story: Her white birthmother, whom Stacie has only recently been in contact with for the first time, gave Stacie up for adoption after her birth and has been hesitant to put Stacie in contact with her Nigerian birthfather.] Ebong is also originally from Nigeria, a fact with which Stacie very much connects. Stacie thinks that Ebong might be helpful to her in finding her birthfather.

Out of nowhere, Lynda drops a bomb about having “experienced reverse racism” in her south Georgia background. The look on the faces of Ebong, Jason and Stacie (all African-Americans) is priceless! Lynda claims she was not served at some restaurant because she’s white, which the other 3 folks find hard to believe. Then Lynda (in very nonsensical fashion) tries to link this to Stacie’s birthmother, claiming that such birthmother failed to embrace Stacie out of fear of being “ex-communicated out of her life as she knew it.” I really don't get the connection, but anyway...

Jason changes the subject and comments how he’s impressed by Lynda and Ebong being a bi-racial couple (I like Jason a lot, but I’m not sure why he made that comment – who gives a rat’s behind what their races are?). Lynda responds with some blather about being “color blind.”
Segment 4: After the Segment 3 marathon, this was the shortest segment I have ever witnessed on a reality show, clocking in at about 1 minute! We return again to Mary’s house. Mary is with her 14-year-old daughter, Meghan. They talk briefly about Meghan eating a Ho-Ho the previous night, but not finishing it and letting the uneaten portion stain the carpet. Talk about your compelling television! THIS is why I stay up late on Thursday nights to recap this wonderful show! [Obviously, I do it for the resulting page views – I make no bones.]

Segment 5: Lynda and her kids are visiting the house that Lynda just bought in McLean, VA (only Lynda has seen the house previously). This joint is MUCH MUCH bigger than their current apartment, and everyone seems to be pretty happy with enormous size of all the rooms. The only concern is that they think that the backyard is not overly secure, and so Lynda says she wants to get a dog that everyone will be afraid of to roam the backyard.

At Stacie’s house, it seems that Cat has seized upon the invitation of republican lobbyist Edwina Rogers and has invited Stacie and Jason to Edwina’s “health care reform” party. Stacie remarks, “we’re democrats, but we’re open-minded, and I want to hear Edwina’s platform.” [BTW, I very much credit Stacie for that sentiment.] Stacie also remarks that the Salahis will be in attendance. She and Jason resolve to try to stay above the Salahis’ drama at this event.

Cat is also getting ready for this party, talking to her two young daughters about the event. And Cat says that she should dress “inappropriately” since they are attending a “republican party” with “all the dregs [of society].” Off-camera, Cat reveals her real agenda: She hopes to dress so inappropriately that she will be banned from getting invited to any other “republican party” every again in DC!

“Edwina’s Healthcare Party”: The party is starting at Loews’ The Madison hotel in DC. Edwina arrives early. Then the Salahis arrive. Then Stacie and Jason arrive, but they keep their distance initially from the Salahis. However, Stacie and Jason eventually meet up and engage in small talk with the Salahis. Next David Catania, “DC Councilmember At-Large” (whatever the hell that means), shows up. It appears that Catania is a local democrat pol, and Stacie is very impressed by his appearance, especially since Catania is a big advocate of gay marriage rights.

Then BOMBSHELL! OH MY FREAKIN’ GOD! THIS was the Biggest Surprise and Shocker (by far) that has occurred so far on this series: Recall how Cat wanted to dress very inappropriately for this event, and recall how much she despises Sarah Palin? Well, Cat shows up at this party in a Sarah Palin get-up, wig and glasses and all (at first, I was even wondering whether it was actually Palin)! I do have to credit Cat very strongly: For better or for worse, THAT $HIT’S OVER THE TOP AND EXTREME! I’m serious, Cat has me at hello right there. That is so ballsy, so crazy, so extreme, and so disregarding what anyone else thinks! Genius! MAN I’M IMPRESSED BY THAT $HIT! [But I digress for the 4th or 16th time.]

Almost as hilarious is how Cat’s hubbie Charles (a White House photographer) plays along and tells people in attendance that Cat is really Sarah Palin! If only Cat had Palin’s crazy accent down, but instead she talks with her Brit accent, remarking that Michaele looks “like Barbie doll in a pink dress with artificial everything.” [Hey Cat: Michaele's actually not "artificial everything" – if there’s actually one babe on the planet left who could use a boob job, it would be Michaele, but to her credit she has not yet enhanced. Although we’ll see how that goes now that she’s going to be in Playboy!]

Segment 6: Breaking (Weird-Ass) News! – Someone is shown being rolled out to an ambulance, and then some dude named Jack marches into the party and says that Edwina Rogers (who’s yet to be shown even making an appearance at her own party) had to leave for an unexpected emergency. Cat, Charles and the others laugh about the intrigue of this whole announcement. Point of Order here: Why would the show not reveal what that was all about? I can only suspect that it must play into some future storyline. That was VERY awkward.

THEN SEPARATE FIREWORKS! Cat runs across Michaele’s assistant, Jen, who said at the grape stomp that Cat was being “bitchy.” Cat confronts Jen about that blast. Jen stands beside her comment, and Cat gets confrontational: “I don’t believe you really know what you’re talking about.” Michaele, almost sensing with ESP that Jen is in trouble here, comes marching in from across the room to stick her snout into this situation. Jen tells Cat, “you’re really taking this way too seriously.” Cat and Michaele then start a smack-off contest against each other, with Cat commenting on Michaele’s pink dress and Michaele commenting on Cat’s Palin wig. This is some good stuff!!!

But Stacie the Party-Pooper then breaks up the fun, interceding and drawing Cat away from Michaele and Jen (just when things were getting good! -- BOOOO!). I think what we really need here is a Hardcore Match between Michaele & Jen on one side and Cat & Lynda on the other, with Mary & Stacie as dueling special guest referees!

Anyway, now on the party’s sidelines, Cat loathes Michaele as she watches Michaele work the room. Stacie implores Cat to ignore Michaele. END OF EPISODE.

Preview of upcoming episodes: Something happens in Cat’s life that is devastating to her (which I’m very sorry to hear), although nothing is revealed about the nature of what’s happened. So stay tuned.