Friday, February 27, 2015

Preschool Party Time: Iowa Kindergarten Teacher Allegedly Gets Her Drink On During Students' Valentine's Day Festivities! No Good?

She's 40-year-old pie-eyed (allegedly) kindergarten teacher Jennifer L. Rich (pic immediately above), and it was the Friday the 13th before Valentine's Day, so the pressure was on at that afternoon's class party: All those parents; all those 5-year-old punks; all that candy; and all them damn valentines! Ain't that enough to prompt any teacher to wanna whack down a six-pack to take the ol' edge off?

But you know those parents -- always the killjoy, them. And when one of 'em spotted a beer can in Tipsy Teach's (allegedly) classroom during the party, I figure parent had at least a few choices: Like take a drink, for one. Or dispose of the can (in a green-friendly recycle bin, of course). Or entertain the little shits on hand with a can crush to the head!

Or, you can just be an old Grumpy Gus and rat out the (allegedly) tanked teacher to the cops. Stoolie! When precisely that occurred, the cops reportedly arrived faster than a Keystone Ice buzz on a midget. Cops say they found a bag in the classroom with four full beer cans and a couple a' empties.

Reportedly adding to the federal case, as well, were a couple of bloodshot eyes on the (allegedly) well-oiled Ms. Rich. (Mewonders whether the party might've actually begun in earnest even before the kids arrived, given that a couple a' brews ain't normally gonna bloodshot a broad's eyes, no? But I digress).

Now this (allegedly) intoxicated teacher is going to have to swig her suds in a new classroom, since the whole brouhaha brought about her arrest and her resignation from her former suburban Des Moines elementary school.  Hey Teach: Take the booze to the shithouse or something next time, you psycho, crazy-eyed freak, ya!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

When Do the American Oscars Air? Regardless, "Czech Version of Oscars Is Duped Into Inviting Fake Jim Carrey Onstage During Its Awards Ceremony"!

But on a positive note for the Czech awards show, I'm hearing that the imposter Jim Carrey outshone a typical appearance by the real McCoy -- actually garnering, ya know, a few isolated laughs for his old imbecilic antics.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Oh GOOD GRIEF! Me Needs to Follow Broads' Lead & Start Paying Attention to Those Damn Super Bowl Commercials!

Like any upstanding Man's Man, the Rager typically eschews any ounce of attention towards the morosely expensive, usually unfunny "Super Bowl commercials." I always gots more pressing business to close during those fleeting moments...

Such as dedicating the shithouse. And grabbing another couple Keystone Ices. Plus a platter of homemade Double Down Dogs. (One of which I toss to my own old dog, while cursing him upside down for spite, just to demonstrate my humane side -- although I digress). And JUST LOOK where my little commercial-time dalliances have gotten me!...

I completely missed out on this toothsome teeted toots Charlotte McKinney and her two mighty Mick meat puppets on the Carl's Jr Ad! -- Forcing my relegation to rudimentary after-the-fact accounts and second-hand anecdotes just to get a little load of her luxuriant lamp-posts.

And yes, yes I say -- I do see utilization of the DVR button in my early February 2016 future for this greatest of gladiatorial contests known as the "Super Bowl."  If you'd ever told me that the recording could double one week of the year as both a sporting event and as my usual Friday Night porn flick, you mainstream bastards would've had me at Hello long before this current Come-To-Jesus-H-Jugs moment.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Executive Privilege: "Michelle Obama's Secret Aspen Ski Trip Exposed After Her Motorcade Was Allowed by Cops to Sneak Around Car Accident"...

But no word yet whether the special allowance was related to undue duress and threats of Michelle ObamaMeals suddenly supplanting free flatfoot donuts and coffee down to local Colorado convenience stores.

Friday, February 13, 2015

It's Almost Boring, Always Being Right: democrat party Hack David Axelrod Chimes In That gop-ers Will Lose in 2016 Unless They Nominate Jeb Bush. Gee, Never Saw That Comin'!

Let's see, what was it that I said about 10 days ago? Oh yeah, here's the quote: 

"Expect plenty of disingenuous statements from democrat party people and their media claiming that Jeb is the 'best' candidate the gop-ers can nominate (a real challenger to Hilary!)." -- The Independent Rage, 02/03/2015

On cue, one of the leading democrat party henchman in the country -- longtime Obama confidant and slimeball David Axelrod -- had this to say this week to right-winger website, Daily Caller, at a book signing event:

"Axelrod said at the event that [gop-ers] will be doomed if they choose not to nominate Jeb Bush . . . adding that if Bush loses the primary then 'he will lose and the [gop-ers] will lose as well."

The motivation for these statements is easy to understand, of course: democrat party leftists see Bush as an opponent whom Hilary Clinton will easily defeat (and frankly I agree with 'em); as a result, it's in their interests to lie and play the guy up like he's some sort of 2016 juggernaut.

Axelrod's salvo is just the first of what are sure to be many similar proclamations in the weeks and months to come from those of his ilk. Meantime, these creatures and their media will take the opposite tact when it comes to the opponent they fear the most -- right-winger Wisconsin governor Scott Walker.

Walker will be labeled as a guy with no chance of beating Hilary, and the long knives will be out to get him. Already this week we've got the Washington Post digging into Walker's college (yes college) years.

Never mind, of course, that seven years after the fact, I've still never gotten to take a gander at those Obama college records that he's always refused (and gotten away with refusing) to release. Privacy and ancient history are concepts that mean something, after all, as long as you have a "D" next to your name.

For now, methinks Mr. Walker better be readying his response for the other shoe likely to drop soon, i.e. when the Post next breaks the news of all those demerits Walker received in Miss Crabapple's first grade class. But hey, the democrat party warned us ahead of time that this guy had no chance of winning!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

"Double Down Dog"? New KFC Offering Features Hot Dog Wrapped in a Bun Made of Fried Chicken (!), But Sadly It's Only Available Overseas. But That Ain't Stoppin' Me!

KFC says "there are no plans to add the fatty fried treat to menus in U.S. stores," as this little culinary delight named the "Double Down Dog" is currently only offered in the Philippines.

Gee, how surprising. As I'm sure KFC knows full well, just imagine all the U.S. food police creeps, Michelle and all, who would come out the woodwork to have the Double Down Dog banned if it was sold here -- Since most of us are too stupid and incapable, after all, of making our own dietary choices, either for ourselves or for our children.

But that doesn't mean a Rager can't improvise over here! So this week I goes to a gas station and a MacDonalds (and not even to knock over either joint) and got me a few hot dogs and MacChickens...

Using a chicken patty as a wrap for a wiener -- and a little horseradish, cheese, mustard and relish later -- it's a big KABOOM!: An instant Double Down Dog ready to go down my piehole faster than an Imelda Marcos shoe purchase.

For good measure, I inhaled a couple more homemade Double Down Dogs as a part of the same sitting (my pic below), just to round out a threesome. And to think, I've lived to tell of the ordeal! Why don't ya ban that shit, leftists.

Friday, February 6, 2015

Protect & Serve (Yourself): "X-Rated Photos Show Female Cop Pleasuring Herself at Police Station"!

Cops are always talking about "going downtown," but this is rather ridiculous.  Local cops in Puerto Rico say 29-year-old female cop Cynthia Marrero Pomales had a male cop snap the above photos of Marrero ticklin' the ol' tinsel inside the police station while in uniform!

I realize these cops spend an exorbitant amount of time at doughnut shops and therefore need to get their exercise in, but C'MON Cynthia!  Let's impose some reasonable time, place and manner restrictions, baby!

And I would think that this little fast-fingered broad breached all sorts of cop protocols in the process: Failing to come out with her hands up, and failing to keep her hands where I can see them, for example, immediately spring to mind.

Now, while I'm certain Cynthia has already received the "My Office" dressing down from her Capitan, it's not yet clear whether she'll have to turn in her badge. At the moment, she's merely suspended and also exercising her right to remain silent.

Hell, the whole stink from this likely came as a big surprise to her, as she reportedly "had not intended for [her masturbation pics] to be seen outside of a small, private circle of friends."

But that was before fellow officers ratted her out by leaking the pics to the "social" media.  Gosh, where's that backup when ya need it??

[Postscript:  Muchos gracias Thanks to "Not Yo Baby Mama" for the Tip on this story!]

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Early Quick Prediction Time for 2016: democrat party Wants Another Bush v. Clinton. Will gop-ers Give It To 'Em, Or Will They More Wisely Go New & Young?

Just a few quick observations today way in advance of the 2016 presidential election:

-Strikes me the leftist democrat party 20 percenters would LOVE to see Jeb Bush get the right-winger gop-er party nomination.  The country will not elect another Bush president, and ol' Jebber wipes away a lot of Hilary Clinton's weaknesses, since he has the same ones (i.e. being an aging old battle axe, with a political dynasty name, who doesn't stand for much of anything).  As a result, expect plenty of disingenuous statements from democrat party people and their media claiming that Jeb is the "best" candidate the gop-ers can nominate (a real challenger to Hilary!).

-Further strikes me that the candidate the leftists fear the most, and the one they least want as the gop-er nominee, is one Scott Walker, the right-winger Governor of a leftist-dominated state, Wisconsin.  Fearful, as well the leftists probably should be.  Leftists nationwide have poured resources into trying to destroy this Walker for years, but he always comes out on top. I think he would be a decided underdog to defeat the old moth-eaten Hilary, but I'd give him more of a chance than the tired old Jebber. As a result, expect plenty of disingenuous statements from democrat party people and their media claiming that Walker is the "worst" candidate the gop-ers could possibly nominate (with no chance of ever beating Hilary!).  That's just the way these people roll.

[This exemplar of pure political analysis is brought to you free of charge by the Rager. If you don't care for it much, G-F-Y.]