Tuesday, June 28, 2011
"World's Greatest" Grandpa Contest Nearly Over, But One Geezer's Likely Ineligible: Florida Boy Finds Gramps Buck Naked in Bed w/ the Family Bulldog!
It's called the "World Greatest Grandfather" contest and is sponsored by the San Francisco Chronicle (first link at bottom). The contest's received myriad photos as nominees, and now all that's left is the public voting on the pick of the litter photos. And methinks one perverted, raunchy Gramps in Florida somehow ain't gonna be making the ol' cut.
They say old dogs can't learn new tricks, but apparently old dirtbag grandpas can. In a seemingly weird twist upon the old adage, "it's only newsworthy if man bites dog," cops in West Palm Beach Florida this week have arrested a 54-year-old Gramps for pumpin' his pooch! (Second link at bottom).
Gramps' name is Eugene Hickman (mugshot immediately above), and the dirty old codger was caught red-handed bangin' the family bulldog. You can only imagine what Gramps' little grandson's reaction must have been upon entering Gramps' bedroom recently.
First grandson spots Gramps in the full buff on top of something in his bed. That not being traumatic enough, then sonny realizes that the thing beneath Gramps' dilapidated old carcass is the family's 3-year-old female bulldog!
And if you're wondering where the endless necessary string of "allegedly" parentheticals is, it ain't necessary here. Gramps reportedly fully admitted to cops that he was boning that bulldog bitch.
Now this old ballin' bestial boobjob will probably have to look for his beastly sexual delights inside the local hoosegow for some time to come, as cops have hit his sick old ass with a charge of felony animal cruelty.
But it's not as if the sad, sickly and wrinkly old slimeball is without any remorse whatsoever. First, he told cops he knew it was wrong to poke the pooch right there in the bedroom (what, he thought out in the Shithouse would be OK?).
He also reportedly promised cops that he'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever do something like this again. And I would hope not: They don't allow pets in the pokey (at least of the animal variety), after all.