She's 46-year-old "glamour model" Lacey Wildd, the star of a recent episode of TLC's "My Strange Addiction." Her mission in life seems to involve educating the world about what it means to sport huge size LLL jugs 24/7 -- both the positives and a few pesky negatives of everyday life.
Her mighty melons may be fake jobs, but she says there's nothing fake about toting 'em around every day. To wit, and first on the bright side of the honkers:
- Her sizable honeysuckles allow Wildd to perform an assortment of "bizarre party tricks" for one and all.
- This includes using her comely chest as a drinks tray, "proudly balancing two champagne glasses without a wobble."
- She then pulls out her Halloween specials, dimming the lights and taking a flashlight to her ample headlights: "I've gots my own jack-o'-lanterns!," Wildd nips.
But Wildd also explains that she goes bust when it comes to many of life's garden-variety chores and activities:
- She complains that she can't spot her own feet or hold her kids because of her curvaceous charleys. Figuring out when she needs a pedicure is pert-near impossible.
- And forgettabout lying down on her back, which she can only stomach for short spells before becoming "faint." Says Wildd: "I feel like I'm being suffocated." (Just hope she gots 'a quick old man).
- This leads to some odd contortions and maneuvers in the sack, where Wildd says she employs "four or five pillows to keep her propped up at a 30 degree angle" at night.
- And givin' mommy a hug ain't so easy for Wildd's young daughter, who explains: "I just give it [a hug] under her boobs so they don't crush me."
And just when you thought that a bafflingly buxom not-so-little number like this has now accomplished it all, Wildd says she still has two big mountains left to climb: As in upsizing to a size QQQ so she will claim the World Title of "The Largest Augmented Breasts" Out There.
Wildd has already raised $23,000 and change in donations for the surgery, saying "I want to leave a legacy to my children" before "the boobs retire." No clear yet if the knockers are considering an early retirement, or age 66, or a diversified strategy in which one donkey-kong starts drawin' while the other can keeps earnin'. (Kids: Never stick your Cage Balls all in one basket).
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/07/lacey-wildd-_n_4556901.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2536146/Ive-got-jack-o-lanterns-Busty-blonde-performs-bizarre-party-tricks-size-LLL-implants.html
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