They Should Give This Honey Political Asylum Or At Least a Green Card So That She Come to the United States & Slap the Ol' Cuffs on Me!

This sweetie can stick me in her slammer any time. And I would bet that she's all over Charlie Sheen's radar screen these days, to boot! She's 21-year-old Marisol Valles Garcia, and you've probably viewed her on the Net as the young Latina Latte who bravely accepted the job last fall as Police Chief in the violent Mexican gang-torn town of Praxedis G. Guerrero.

Hottie Garcia is seeking political asylum in the United States after having her life threatened by these sub-human pieces of reptilian slime known as the Mexican drug cartels. These are total scuzbucket cowards who go around raping and beheading women and gunning down and knifing men in the backside -- You SLIMES.

The news today is that hot toots Garcia did not show up for work and has been given her walking papers by the town (link to full story at bottom). I'm sure this Latin firebrand and devoted criminology student is all torn up over the town's decision. Good riddance, more like it.

There also seems to be a lot of Net discussion that she may be denied political asylum by Obama's government. So let me get this straight: We care little about securing the Mexican border and letting illegals (and likely Al Qaeda alike) pour across it daily like it was a feces hole in an Alabama $hithouse, but we won't let this brave and gorgeous honeybaby into the United States on grounds of political persecution?

Well, I suppose there is a reason (or thousands) why I will never in my life ever vote for anyone in the 20-percenter democrat party ever again. But that aside, if this sweetcheeks is ultimately granted asylum, I will be the first to applaud our leftist-controlled federal government for the decision, because it'll be the right one – which is all that matters in the final estimation.

BTW, from the criteria for political asylum set forth in the linked story – persecution based on (among other things) political views or membership in a particular social group suffices – I have no earthly idea why this sweetcakes would not be accepted.

Ain't rocket science: She's being persecuted for a political view – being anti-Drug Cartel sleazewads – and for a being a member of a particular social group – i.e. decent human beings opposed to the social group inhabited by the bullying, murderous, cowardly scum known as the Mexican Drug Cartels.

So let's permit this Miss Hotcakes Garcia into the United States. Sounds like she'd be a real credit to our American population. Hell, as Burgess Meredith's Mickey Goldmill character from Rocky might say, "Ah, she'd be an improvement!"

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110307/us_yblog_thelookout/young-mexican-police-chief-fired-after-reportedly-fleeing-to-u-s

He Really Needed to Plan Better: Is Bizarre Weekend Webcast "Sheen's Korner" Gonesville After Only One Edition?! Seems Like It, Thankfully.

"Winning"? More like Bombing. Charlie Sheen's debut episode of the home-made webcast "Sheen's Korner" hit the Net this weekend – likely for the first and last time. (Links to full story at bottom).

The hour-long show on the website Ustream.tv reportedly garnered over 100,000 viewers (but is that really even very many in this day & age?) in its first 15 minutes, but those numbers plummeted as the train wreck TV show stumbled and bumbled its way towards its thankful ending. Even Sheen himself disavowed the show afterwards on Twitter (read on). And it's little wonder why.

The show was basically little more than Sheen "blabbering endlessly" through a bizarre monologue and rant, with the "visibly sweating" non-A-list actor in a dollar-sign T-shirt and constantly reading from cue cards and notes as if it was a Rush Slimebaugh radio show rather than a visual presentation. Many of Sheen's words were "unintelligible."

The motley crew of oddballs hanging around didn't help either. First among the "misfit pals," there was one of his multiple girlfriends – 24-year-old marijuana magazine model Natalie "Nattie Baby" Kenly, who at one point sat on Sheen's lap (first picture above). Kenly didn't have much to say, but she did provide an incessant stream of giggles from back in the cheap seats.

Also present was Sheen's old freaky-looking personal assistant Rick Calamaro (the other dude sporting the black hat) and some other hanger-on in the background.

The show started with a real bang – "fart noises and endless references to 'winning' " – and ended on a similar high note: Sheen "drinking from a sippy cup," "repeating the word 'duh' " over and over again, and reading poetry. But you can't have a show without a middle as well, and that's where the insanity really got rolling:

-Charlie has a new tattoo that he wants everyone to see! It says "WINNING." Wow, breaking news on that one. Stop the damn press! (Picture above)

-Ranted Sheen: "Guess what we were doing all day, every second of the day? Winning!"

-Responding the recent statement of addiction expert Dr. Drew Pinsky that Sheen is bi-polar, Sheen shot back, "I'm not bi-bolar, I'm bi-winning." Very lame, BTW, but if he had said "bi-curious", then he might have actually broke some news during this tirade! Not that there's anything wrong with that.

-He also had this blast aimed at Pinsky and TV host Nancy Grace: "You wish you guys were winning but you're not. What's the opposite of winning? Losing." Gee -- Profound, to the last. NOW I really know why those 100,000 were tuning in! (Or not).

-Sheen also put his John Hancock on a Polaroid pic and promised a fan that he'd be mailing it to him. Said Sheen: "Even though the post office is closed tomorrow . . . we are winning so we'll get this out immediately." [Still bet it doesn't go out til Monday morning at the earliest -- winning or succeeding has little to do with the U.S. Post Office or any most other federal government business venture.]

-Although he obviously hasn't abandoned the "winning" concept, Sheen during the show also broke out what appears to be his new catchphrase – "PLAN BETTER." For example, when girlfriend Nattie Kenly said she'd recently "stepped on her dress and tripped up the stairs," Sheen proclaimed, "Plan Better!" A more original line or catchphrase has perhaps never been uttered in the history of civilized man. (Or not).

-Sheen said during the broadcast that Obama was going to be calling in at any moment. When that never happened, Sheen told the audience to "have absolute faith that it will." News Flash to the Deranged One known as Charlie: If you're waiting around for Obama to do much of anything that people in general or Middle America expect him to do, then you're in store for a very long wait, pal.

-Sheen also spoke on current events, such as BYU mindlessly kicking basketball player Brandon Davies off the team for having pre-marital sex: "Dude, you knew the rules going in," Sheen attempted to reason. With color commentary like that, who needs Troy Aikman! And this from a slimeball in 46-year-old Sheen who goes around banging 19-year-old porn stars as a hobby! Hypocrite.

Although Sheen promised at the end of the show to return the next night, I don't think we're going to see an Episode 2 of this sad display anytime soon. Viewers and Net critics alike have been blasting the show ever since it mercifully left the air the other night.

Even Sheen himself seems to have an ounce of sound mind when it comes to the issue, Tweeting afterward: "Last night was treasonous to the movement. My bad. A video solution coming soon."
For that, Sheen at least gets an "A" for exhibiting some rational thought for once, although the "video solution" pledge sounds only too ominous. I really wish he hadn't said that part. Really though.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1363464/Im-bi-polar-Im-bi-winning-Charlie-Sheen-takes-brand-crazy-net-hour-long-rant.htmlhttp://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2011/03/06/2011-03-06_sorry_charlie_youre_losing_fans_say_sheens_korner_online_video_rant_was_pointles.html

Holy Smokes! "Greenthumb Brothers" Busted for Three-Floor "Pot Jungle" in New York, As Cops Nearly Get Stoned Just Raiding the Place!

"It looked like a jungle in there!", said one observer (see first picture at the top). Two 40-something brothers – Keith & Craig Harrigan – with Craig's 18-year-old son Marc in tow, got busted this week in the Big Apple for allegedly "growing a groovy garden of the illegal foliage" known as marijuana on all three floors of their Staten Island home! (Links to full story at bottom).

And the cops who raided this giant joint (pun intended) were certainly in for a good time: The grass fumes in the home were reportedly so strong, the raiding cops nearly got stoned just from entering this hive! One cop said: "You almost got a contact high by just going into the house. It was like a heavy, earthy pot smell."

This "virtual tropical island" that New York's Finest entered also shocked them for other reasons: They recovered a whopping 375 wacky tobaccy plants, plus 60 pounds of harvested Tree, plus a whole lotta loot from a hidden safe.

Cops were also startled but yet impressed by the sheer sophistication of this alleged combustible herbage-cultivating threesome, whose operation allegedly involved a high-tech "growhouse, including irrigation tubes, halogen lamps and a ventilation system."

To boot: The three alleged roach relatives reportedly housed a virtual library of ganja-growing "literature," not to mention a police scanner to monitor any fuzz transmissions aimed at putting a "kill" on their mighty mez-lovin' chronic!

And this alleged Doobie Dad, Brother & Son were reportedly raking in quite the cash cow for their alleged sticky icky icky operation: To the tune of at least $150,000 a month! Not bad for a few seeds and a big bunch of hog leg!

But this alleged reefer-raising group of three must have lived a rather solitary existence in their little crippy crib: Not much room for the ladies in this reported hydro home given that every available inch of square footage was allegedly devoted to a different kind of mistress – Mary Jane, that is. Says the District Attorney: "You couldn't fit anybody else in the place. They were living in a pot jungle."

Now, these alleged la la, limbo-likin' lords of the paca lolo may have to do their spliff sensation in a different kind of "joint" known as the Empire State Ice House. Much like a skater of schwag, things suck worse for this alleged indo-indoctrinated crew of onion lovers than a midget on skid row lurking about for his next visit from Mr. J and Reggie.

Put another way, this alleged tical-loving threesome faces takin' their kind bud treats through a row of bars, as the cops have slapped them with a "slew of drug charges" – not a nib, mind you.

But it gets even worse for these alleged dank dorks: It's also alleged that in order to hide all of the electricity necessary to power their hooter heaven, they heimed up a bypass of the Electric Company's meter – and in the process swiped some $150,000 of free electricity in order to prop up their little Jay walk.

That little alleged shake skrill of a shortcut has these three alleged nugget dubbing motas contending with an additional fatty charge of grand larceny, which holds in store a promise of at least an additional 420 days in the freezer. One toke over the line, sweet Jesus!

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/staten_island/si_high_crimes_LvOInjpgxjvHMotrpCAj6N http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2011/03/02/2011-03-02_cops_raid_staten_island_home__and_find_massive_marijuana_farm.html

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/staten_island/si_brothers_busted_for_year_pot_uUEQhoLWcWYIRt3rxjLR4H

That's Gonna Leave a Mark: Mississippi Teen Bruiser Allegedly Beats Down Teen Girl But Tastes the Hot Fire of the Ol' Branding Iron in Retribution!

Only in Mississippi (although pictured hardcore wrestling legend Terry Funk would be proud): Cops say it all started with a 40-something lady hosting a beer party for a bunch of local teens (including 12 to 15-year-olds) in Meridian, Mississippi. Boy, no potential for train wreck in this one, right?!

One of the 15-year-old male attendees allegedly had an altercation with a 12-year-old girl also in attendance, reportedly knocking the girl to the floor and then clocking her one right in the kisser. And that's when business really started picking up (allegedly)!

This little alleged beat down apparently didn't sit too well with the 12-year-old girl's main squeeze chute (errr, boyfriend) – himself 15. That lady allegedly hosting the teen booze fest says someone called said boyfriend, who then crashed the scene faster than you can say stench in a Mississippi $hithouse.

And the boyfriend allegedly came packin' heat (among other things)! He reportedly held at gunpoint his fellow 15-year-old bruiser who had allegedly pounded down his little girlfriend. And it appears that holding the alleged assailant at gunpoint was necessary in order to give boyfriend some time to fire up his branding iron!

The boyfriend reportedly sported a rather crude, makeshift branding iron conjured up from a coat hanger! But this ranch hand wannabe apparently knew something of what he was doing, as he allegedly shaped and manipulated the branding iron into the form of various letters, like so many "Lazy V's", "Flying J's" and "Bar S's" in the hands of an experienced stockman.

Using his rudimentary firebrand skills, the cattle man boyfriend allegedly then branded his various letters and symbols into the bruiser's hide, reportedly spelling both the girl's name and the date upon the person of the bullying quarter horse bruiser (allegedly)!

But the branding boyfriend may soon have to fire up his livestock in the much bigger corral known as the proverbial Big House. That's because cops are reportedly prepared to throw the Brand Book at him, having charged this midnight cowboy with kidnapping and aggravated assault.

Although, on the bright side for him: I hear the "Striped C's" in the hoosegow also very much enjoy perfecting the lost arts of the firebranding conquistador. He may well feel right at home. Just watch out you don't get burned, there, Young Gun.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_teen_tortured_mississippi

"Poll: Voters Like President Obama, But Split on His Policies." But I Really Wonder Just How Accurate That Is?

If I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times from partisans (Orrin Hatch just tonight on Fox News) and non-partisans alike: "I might disagree with Obama's policies, but I like him personally." That line has gotten so old, I want to gag about anytime I hear it anymore.

And I truly wonder how many of the "I like him personally" respondents in these polls are really being honest. I believe many of them are probably just saying that to be politically correct, since in today's venomous American political culture (venomous due to the equal contributions of both the left and right extremes, BTW), saying anything negative about Obama threatens to have you labeled a "racist" by the American left.

The new poll referenced at the top, BTW, comes from Quinnipiac University, as reported in Politico.com over the past day (link to full story at bottom). It reports that Obama's job approval ratings (i.e. the "policies" part of the equation) are split at 46 percent among registered voters. In contrast, on the "likability" side of the equation, 74 percent of voters say they "personally like the president."

Well, if you know me at all, then you know that I'm not much on spouting the politically correct line. Not only do I disagree with most of Obama's left-wing policies, I also personally don't like the man. Just don't care for him. I find him to be a thin-skinned, arrogant, condescending, oftentimes disingenuous, prototypical politician and a devout far-leftist.

Not quite up my alley, you might say. [I was about to say "not quite my cup of tea," but that sounds like something a tea partier would say, and I don't much care for them either].

Now, while I may not like Obama, I certainly don't hate him. I wouldn't even say I disdain him. I'm not a right-winger or a conservative – the ones whom I believe do disdain him (although I wouldn't say "hate" even with respect to them either) and look to find something wrong with every single action Obama takes and every single word that comes out of his mouth.

And while I think it probably true that more than half of American voters do honestly "like" Obama personally, I must question that 74% figure (and I'm not questioning the poll, but rather the honesty of the responses). Simply put: He's not that likable. Sorry. Or you can just choose to call me racist.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0311/50579.html

"Oscar Grouch" TV Executive Lays the Smack Down on Fifth-Grade Choir Who Performed at the Oscars, and Now the Kids Want to Smack Him Down!

His name is Andy Cohen (pictured on the right). He's a TV executive for Bravo Network, and he didn't care too much for the rendition of "Over the Rainbow" delivered at the Oscars by the 10-year-olds in New York's Public School "PS" 22 Chorus. Not by a long shot! (Link to full story at bottom).

The Grumpy Gus Cohen totally trashes PS 22 in comments made this week to MSNBC: "The end of the Oscars, we don't want to see this. You just ruined everything."

Ouch. And this, as the New York Post aptly points out, comes from a dude who's the mind "behind such sophisticated entertainment as the 'Real Housewives' series"! Indeed, Cohen is known for overseeing those great bastions of high entertainment known as reality series, with "Real Housewives" probably being the best known.

And Cohen's blast has really stirred up the kids in the choir. Said one 10-year-old female member, Abigail Sarfo: "He's so mean! He should stop being so mean to us – we're little kids!"

But before you worry too much about any damage to the choir kids' psyches as a result of the curmudgeon Cohen's little tirade, consider the fact that Cohen has some of these kids fightin' mad! Said one 10-year-old male member of the choir, Antonio Perez: "He's gonna get a piece of me!"

I don't think Cohen probably wants any part of that. Final thought: Take a gander at those "googly eyes" in Cohen’s picture above. Much more than Oscar the Grouch, he reminds me of Cookie Monster!

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/staten_island/oscar_grouch_trashes_si_kids_68rTNa2HbtGCESi9PL28kI

Pizza Parlor Postal: Madness in Three States As Pizzerias Are Allegedly Hit w/ Spousal Choke Downs, Marauding Midnight Munchies & Nap Sacks of Rats!

I realize food prices (including those for pizza and hot wings ingredients) are inflating faster these days than Obama phone calls to the federal government money printing press, but let's get a grip, people!

Tonight a trio of crazy stories about alleged deranged behavior recently at pizza parlors in Pennsylvania, Minnesota and Massachusetts (links to the full stories at the very bottom):

He Really Wanted Some Hot Wings!

From Minnesota: Cops in St. Cloud say 21-year-old Cory Mogen (the white dude pictured above) got a mean case of the munchies about 1:30 a.m. last Friday. And it's alleged that Mogen was three sheets to the wind when he pulled into his neighborhood Pizza Hut for a late night drunken snack.

The only problem? The joint was closed. But a little technicality like that wasn't going to stop this famished fun boy. Cops say Mogen broke into the Pizza Hut in order to get his grub on.

OK, there was just one more problem: Once inside, there was no one to take the dude's order since the restaurant was closed. So what does he do? Starts cooking up some eats himself, of course! What else would he possibly do at that point?!

Cops say Mogen started frying up some chicken wings in the joint's kitchen! All the while he reportedly made a real mess of things, as cops found a big mess of marinara sauce splashed all over the walls!

Meantime, Mogen's entry had tripped off the burglar alarm, and cops soon arrived to bust the hungry chicken hound. He blew a .220 BAC for the cops and now faces time in a different type of joint for alleged burglary.

No word yet whether he went to the hoosegow hungry or whether he was able to sink his teeth into a buffalo wing before the fuzz flew in.

We Were Just Playing Around!

Next up is Massachusetts: There we have the curious case of ESPN reporter Howard Bryant (the African-American dude pictured above) and his wife. His side of the story is that he "just wanted some pizza" at the local Buckland pizza parlor last Saturday, but cops and eyewitnesses say he carried out a domestic assault on his wife in the parking lot.

Cops says they headed to the pizzeria after receiving calls "of a man pinning a woman to the hood of the car and seemingly choking her." When cops arrived, Bryant resisted arrest and cops reportedly had to "subdue him" through use of force.

Bryant calls the cops' and eyewitnesses' version a "fabrication" and claims he never so much as touched his spouse that evening. He's also claiming to be a victim of racism by the cops. His wife Veronique, BTW, backs up Bryant's version of events.

As for me: I wasn't there, and I have no freakin' idea what happened (contrast that novel concept with Obama's reaction to the Cambridge police story in 2009). That's why we have a criminal justice system, and we'll have to see how this thing plays out. Until then, the allegations against Bryant are just that – allegations.

"He Smelled a Rat, or at least a Bag of Mice"!

Cops in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania say pizza man Nicholas Galiatsatos was having trouble "drumming up business" for his local pizza parlor, Bella Pizzeria. So, cops say, the pie man came up with a rather unique marketing ploy: Drive new business his way by unleashing rat infestations at his competitors' pizzarias!

Fanis Facas owns one of those local competitors – Verona Pizza – and reportedly "smelled a rat, or at least a bag of mice" when he saw Galiatsatos enter Verona Pizza with a big nap sack and head straight back to the $hithouse on Monday.

Then Facas heard some strange noises emanating from said $hithouse, and he made a beeline there to investigate. He says Galiatsatos was gone, but there were footprints on a toilet seat and a tile on the ceiling had been messed with. "Upon further investigation he said he found a bag stashed in the ceiling with live mice."

Facas then brought this whole ratty spectacle to the attention of a couple of cops who were eating inside his joint at the time, and the cops reportedly spied Galiatsatos heading towards another pizza parlor across the way – Uncle Nicks Pizza – with another sack under his arm!

When Galiatsatos in turn noticed the heat bearing down on him, he allegedly ran into Uncle Nicks and tried to dispose of the evidence by tossing his second sack of rats right into the garbage. The cops found the second ratty nap sack, and Galiatsatos was busted.

The local police chief was astonished at the alleged non-endearing ingenuity of this alleged marketing rocket scientist, Galiatsatos: "I've never had to deal with mice as an instrument of criminality," crowed the chief, Michael Chitwood. "And I've certainly never had to deal with pizza and mice at the same time."

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/news/minnesota/drunk-chicken-wing-cook-stcloud-feb-25-2011
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20037402-504083.html?tag=cbsnewsSectionContent.6
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/623560-nfl-lockout-tony-parker-cam-newton-and-tuesdays-top-sports-news/entry/50307-howard-bryant-espn-reporter-pleads-not-guilty-to-bevy-of-charges
http://www.theroot.com/blogs/richard-prince-journal-isms/espn-writer-alleges-racism-after-arrest
http://abcnews.go.com/US/pizzeria-owner-sabotages-rivals-planting-mics-restaurants/story?id=13031229

He's a Nature Boy! Charlie Sheen Brags Up His Genetics and General Greatness – and Even Works in Some Third Person References – to Various Media...

Suddenly porn-star-bangin' (Bree Olson & Kacey Jordan, pictured above), cocaine-bingin' bender king Charlie Sheen is doing a ton of talking to the media about his recent travails and CBS' decision to yank his "Two and a Half Men" show off the air for at least the current season due to Sheen's wild, erratic behavior.

And in so doing, Sheen sounds more like an over-the-top professional wrestler playing a character than he does a serious (or sane) television actor. Check out a sampling of some of his braggadocious bravado (my reactions at bottom):

To NBC's "Today Show"

-Claimed he has "tiger blood and Adonis DNA."

-"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special."

-"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitchin', a total freaking rock star from Mars!"

-"Come Wednesday morning, they're going to rename it Charlie Brothers, not Warner Brothers!"

-"When I step between the lines, it's on! And I'm there to show others how it's done."

-"People can't figure me out. They can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."

-"I'm just going to forewarn them that it's everybody else that's going to be begging me for their job back.

-"I've always had a plan. I've executed it perfectly."

-Claims he will fight CBS "with zeal, and with focus and violent hatred."

-Says that CBS owes him a "big public" apology – "while licking my feet."

To TMZ

-"I'm grandiose. I have a grandiose life and I'm embracing it. It doesn't fit into their model and their model sucks."

-"I am on a drug, and it's called Charlie Sheen."

To CNN's Piers Morgan Monday night

-"Every great movement begins with one man, and I guess that's me."

-"Look what happens when you decide to blaze a trail!"

-"I'm super-bitchin' [and] I don't believe myself to be an addict."

-"I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."

-"When I'm fighting a war, there's no room for sensitivity."

-"I'm out doing this for all of us, guys!"

-Promises to come back on Morgan's show "after I've won."

To ABC

-Claims he cured his addictions by "closing my eyes and making it so with the power of my mind."

CONCLUSIONS: Sorry, but I've seen this act before, and I've seen it acted out much more convincingly by such individuals as pro wrestling's legendary "Nature Boy" Ric Flair (pictured above). At least Flair was always just mostly playing a character. I frankly have no freakin' idea what the hell Sheen's trying to do or prove.

If he'd used some actual old-school Flair quotes – such as "stylin' and profilin' " or "what's been causing all this" or "my shoe costs more than your house" or if he'd let loose with a big "WOOOOO!" – then at least I would have known that Sheen was just putting on a big act. But I think he's probably being completely serious with all of this, and that's the frightening part.

POSTSCRIPT: What's with Sheen's preoccupation with the 1950s slang term, "bitchin' "? Next thing you know, he's going to be tossing around "ready teddy" and "giving me the business" references. Sick stuff.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/02/28/charlie.sheen/index.html?hpt=C1

http://www.tmz.com/2011/02/26/charlie-sheen-interview-abc-good-morning-america-2020-video-promo/
http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/02/28/charlie.sheen/?hpt=C1

http://watching-tv.ew.com/2011/02/28/charlie-sheen-cnn-piers-morgan/

She's "Sad," Alright: Sick Cali Cougar Mom Faces 5 Years in the Freezer for Dating & Having Sex w/ Daughter's 14-Year-Old Boyfriend & Another Boy...

"Sad" in more ways than one. Here's what I don't get about some of these cougar dames:

If you have some perverted desire to get it on with much younger men, then I guess knock yourself out. And if it must be a teenager, then hit on someone who's 18 or 19. But why would you feel the need to go after someone who's underage? That's deranged and criminal.

And that's exactly what we have in the case of 42-year-old Livermore, California, soccer mom Christine Hubbs (pictured variously above). She's just plead no contest to having sex with two 14-year-old boys – one of them the boyfriend of her own daughter! (Link to full story at bottom). And now she's facing up to 5 years in the hoosegow.

Hubbs' no contest plea means that she does not contest one count of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor and three counts of a lewd act on a child. Hubbs reportedly copped the plea in order to avoid a lot more time in the can since prosecutors, in exchange, dropped sixty-three felony sex charges.

But if you think that Hubbs got off too lightly – and she certainly did, and much more lightly than a man charged with the same crimes would have – consider this: In addition to likely having to be on parole for 10 years after her time in the ice house, Hubbs will be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of her little-boy-lovin' days.

Not only that -- she's also not going to be around too many teenage boys in the joint or likely for a long time to come. Put it all together: Her life's ruined, just like – perhaps – the teen kids she was banging, since doing the dirty deed with 40-year-old broads can't be any good for their mental health going forward.

In addition to being sick in the head, Hubbs also wasn't exactly the sharpest mom in the minivan. Cops says the piece of meat that broke the cougar's back was a nude photo of herself that she sexted to one of the 14-year-old boys. The boy's mama found the racey pic, and Hubbs' sick little show was all but over right then and there.

Cops also say that Hubbs' sexual encounters with these kids were not isolated incidents, but instead occurred over and over and over again throughout the course of over two years.

And it sounds like Hubbs was bangin' these boys from one side of Alameda County to the other. Cops say she would get it on just about anywhere, including in her own car and in cheap motels. (No word yet whether any of Hubbs' "good times" went down in a public $hithouse, although that would seem par for the course).

Cops also say Hubbs would try to keep these kids happy by lavishing them with dough and gifts – when they weren't having sex, that is. Put those costs together with time in the joint and perpetual sex offender registration, and I think you'd have to say this was one of the more expensive cougar affairs in recent memory.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20036469-504083.html?tag=cbsnewsSectionContent.6

I'm a Voodoo Chile! Like Something From a Movie, "Witch Doctor" & Woman Engage in Wild Sex Ritual, Literally (& Fatally) Burning Down the House in NY.

[This one is dedicated to Kansas City media icon Bill Grigsby, who passed away yesterday. Grigs always did his own unique thing, which is the only way to be]:

I think this babe might have listened to one too many Jimi Hendrix tunes (first link at bottom):

Much like Cosby Kid Lisa Bonet's wild ass "voodoo chile" character in the old film Angel Heart (in which Bonet has a crazy voodoo-frenzied romp in the sack with Mickey Rourke), cops say a Brooklyn woman got her voodoo on in a big way with her "witch doctor," ultimately igniting a five-alarm apartment building fire that killed one man and left 100 homeless (second link at bottom to the New York Post's full story).

Cops say this dame "was just looking for some good luck in her life" and paid 300 bucks to the "horny holy man" who lived at the apartment building so that he would send some of his special voodoo magic her way. (BTW, cops aren't releasing either person's name, age or description).

Things got rolling when the willing wizard first sprinkled rum on his apartment floor to ward off "evil spirits." But there was a catch! He told the broad that they would have to do a voodoo sex ritual in order for her luck to turn around. I mean, I've heard of "getting lucky," but this absolutely ridiculous.

"The witch doctor and his voodoo doll then proceeded to romp on a bed that was perilously surrounded by a large number of ritual candles." And then this female voodoo chile discovered a very strange thing faster than a ménage a trois suggestion on a "Seinfeld" episode: This whole voodoo sex rite thing -- She was into it!

She reportedly told firemen that "while she was having sex, she was getting aroused, she was getting into it and she didn't realize that their activity had knocked over some of the candles around the bed." And apparently the witch doctor was paying scant attention himself, as the "wild candlelit sex ritual" turned "hot and heavy" – literally.

The toppled candles quickly set fire to clothing and linen on the floor, and the next thing you know, the whole room was on fire! Said the cops: "The sex must have been so good they didn't see it coming. Maybe they should have practiced safe sex." Safe voodoo, more like it.

But this relatively small and contained fire only turned catastrophic and deadly through the comedy of errors that followed. First, instead of calling 911, the voodoo priest – apparently not so much the "flaming" wit (pun intended) -- tried to put out the room fire himself by tossing water on it which he had conjured up from a bathroom sink. Nothin' doing.

Then another man in the same apartment who "was ironing his pants" reared his ugly trousers in this whole debacle. But before we get into that, can you just picture this scene:

Witch doctor roommate and the voodoo doll are having wild ritualistic voodoo sex there in the apartment, and this other roommate dude is off in some corner just casually ironing his britches while it's all going down?! He had his business to attend to, and they had theirs, I suppose!

Regardless, roommate dude only made a rapidly deteriorating situation even worse when he spotted the fire, panicked, and opened a damn window! This let the "wind blow in, which fanned the already-high flames into a massive inferno."

While the roommate, the warlock and his sexy spellbinder were all able to successfully get the hell out of there at that point, they made their third huge mistake when they left the apartment door open behind them!

Firemen say that 40 mph winds then "created a blowtorch effect as winds whipped in through the open window and pushed fire out into the hallway" through the open door.

As the blaze eventually moved through significant portions of the building, a retired school counselor was killed, dozens of tenants were left homeless, and 20 firemen were injured.

As for the sloppy sorcerer and his voodoo squeeze, "no charges are expected" -- quite astonishingly and even despite this voodoo high priest reportedly initially lying to police about what was going on inside his apartment. The woman was only there to "deliver him food," he told cops at first before later fessin' up.

You'd think the cops might at least try to nail the sex-crazed soothsayer with a false statement rap? But maybe the cops were afraid that if they tried throwing the book at the witch doctor, he might hit them in return with some of his sordid sex sorcery and/or toss a curse their way? Prudent police work, methinks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz_kHIBVdUc
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/fatal_klyn_fire_was_hex_rated_N0NlwUMYxxfrOEb1o7FSvN