I realize food prices (including those for pizza and hot wings ingredients) are inflating faster these days than Obama phone calls to the federal government money printing press, but let's get a grip, people!Tonight a trio of crazy stories about alleged deranged behavior recently at pizza parlors in Pennsylvania, Minnesota and Massachusetts (links to the full stories at the very bottom):
He Really Wanted Some Hot Wings!
From Minnesota: Cops in St. Cloud say 21-year-old Cory Mogen (the white dude pictured above) got a mean case of the munchies about 1:30 a.m. last Friday. And it's alleged that Mogen was three sheets to the wind when he pulled into his neighborhood Pizza Hut for a late night drunken snack.
The only problem? The joint was closed. But a little technicality like that wasn't going to stop this famished fun boy. Cops say Mogen broke into the Pizza Hut in order to get his grub on.
OK, there was just one more problem: Once inside, there was no one to take the dude's order since the restaurant was closed. So what does he do? Starts cooking up some eats himself, of course! What else would he possibly do at that point?!
Cops say Mogen started frying up some chicken wings in the joint's kitchen! All the while he reportedly made a real mess of things, as cops found a big mess of marinara sauce splashed all over the walls!
Meantime, Mogen's entry had tripped off the burglar alarm, and cops soon arrived to bust the hungry chicken hound. He blew a .220 BAC for the cops and now faces time in a different type of joint for alleged burglary.
No word yet whether he went to the hoosegow hungry or whether he was able to sink his teeth into a buffalo wing before the fuzz flew in.
We Were Just Playing Around!
Next up is Massachusetts: There we have the curious case of ESPN reporter Howard Bryant (the African-American dude pictured above) and his wife. His side of the story is that he "just wanted some pizza" at the local Buckland pizza parlor last Saturday, but cops and eyewitnesses say he carried out a domestic assault on his wife in the parking lot.
Cops says they headed to the pizzeria after receiving calls "of a man pinning a woman to the hood of the car and seemingly choking her." When cops arrived, Bryant resisted arrest and cops reportedly had to "subdue him" through use of force.
Bryant calls the cops' and eyewitnesses' version a "fabrication" and claims he never so much as touched his spouse that evening. He's also claiming to be a victim of racism by the cops. His wife Veronique, BTW, backs up Bryant's version of events.
As for me: I wasn't there, and I have no freakin' idea what happened (contrast that novel concept with Obama's reaction to the Cambridge police story in 2009). That's why we have a criminal justice system, and we'll have to see how this thing plays out. Until then, the allegations against Bryant are just that – allegations.
"He Smelled a Rat, or at least a Bag of Mice"!
Cops in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania say pizza man Nicholas Galiatsatos was having trouble "drumming up business" for his local pizza parlor, Bella Pizzeria. So, cops say, the pie man came up with a rather unique marketing ploy: Drive new business his way by unleashing rat infestations at his competitors' pizzarias!
Fanis Facas owns one of those local competitors – Verona Pizza – and reportedly "smelled a rat, or at least a bag of mice" when he saw Galiatsatos enter Verona Pizza with a big nap sack and head straight back to the $hithouse on Monday.
Then Facas heard some strange noises emanating from said $hithouse, and he made a beeline there to investigate. He says Galiatsatos was gone, but there were footprints on a toilet seat and a tile on the ceiling had been messed with. "Upon further investigation he said he found a bag stashed in the ceiling with live mice."
Facas then brought this whole ratty spectacle to the attention of a couple of cops who were eating inside his joint at the time, and the cops reportedly spied Galiatsatos heading towards another pizza parlor across the way – Uncle Nicks Pizza – with another sack under his arm!
When Galiatsatos in turn noticed the heat bearing down on him, he allegedly ran into Uncle Nicks and tried to dispose of the evidence by tossing his second sack of rats right into the garbage. The cops found the second ratty nap sack, and Galiatsatos was busted.
The local police chief was astonished at the alleged non-endearing ingenuity of this alleged marketing rocket scientist, Galiatsatos: "I've never had to deal with mice as an instrument of criminality," crowed the chief, Michael Chitwood. "And I've certainly never had to deal with pizza and mice at the same time."
http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/news/minnesota/drunk-chicken-wing-cook-stcloud-feb-25-2011
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20037402-504083.html?tag=cbsnewsSectionContent.6
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/623560-nfl-lockout-tony-parker-cam-newton-and-tuesdays-top-sports-news/entry/50307-howard-bryant-espn-reporter-pleads-not-guilty-to-bevy-of-charges
http://www.theroot.com/blogs/richard-prince-journal-isms/espn-writer-alleges-racism-after-arrest
http://abcnews.go.com/US/pizzeria-owner-sabotages-rivals-planting-mics-restaurants/story?id=13031229
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