Suddenly porn-star-bangin' (Bree Olson & Kacey Jordan, pictured above), cocaine-bingin' bender king Charlie Sheen is doing a ton of talking to the media about his recent travails and CBS' decision to yank his "Two and a Half Men" show off the air for at least the current season due to Sheen's wild, erratic behavior.And in so doing, Sheen sounds more like an over-the-top professional wrestler playing a character than he does a serious (or sane) television actor. Check out a sampling of some of his braggadocious bravado (my reactions at bottom):
To NBC's "Today Show"
-Claimed he has "tiger blood and Adonis DNA."
-"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special."
-"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitchin', a total freaking rock star from Mars!"
-"Come Wednesday morning, they're going to rename it Charlie Brothers, not Warner Brothers!"
-"When I step between the lines, it's on! And I'm there to show others how it's done."
-"People can't figure me out. They can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."
-"I'm just going to forewarn them that it's everybody else that's going to be begging me for their job back.
-"I've always had a plan. I've executed it perfectly."
-Claims he will fight CBS "with zeal, and with focus and violent hatred."
-Says that CBS owes him a "big public" apology – "while licking my feet."
To TMZ
-"I'm grandiose. I have a grandiose life and I'm embracing it. It doesn't fit into their model and their model sucks."
-"I am on a drug, and it's called Charlie Sheen."
To CNN's Piers Morgan Monday night
-"Every great movement begins with one man, and I guess that's me."
-"Look what happens when you decide to blaze a trail!"
-"I'm super-bitchin' [and] I don't believe myself to be an addict."
-"I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."
-"When I'm fighting a war, there's no room for sensitivity."
-"I'm out doing this for all of us, guys!"
-Promises to come back on Morgan's show "after I've won."
To ABC
-Claims he cured his addictions by "closing my eyes and making it so with the power of my mind."
CONCLUSIONS: Sorry, but I've seen this act before, and I've seen it acted out much more convincingly by such individuals as pro wrestling's legendary "Nature Boy" Ric Flair (pictured above). At least Flair was always just mostly playing a character. I frankly have no freakin' idea what the hell Sheen's trying to do or prove.
If he'd used some actual old-school Flair quotes – such as "stylin' and profilin' " or "what's been causing all this" or "my shoe costs more than your house" or if he'd let loose with a big "WOOOOO!" – then at least I would have known that Sheen was just putting on a big act. But I think he's probably being completely serious with all of this, and that's the frightening part.
POSTSCRIPT: What's with Sheen's preoccupation with the 1950s slang term, "bitchin' "? Next thing you know, he's going to be tossing around "ready teddy" and "giving me the business" references. Sick stuff.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/02/28/charlie.sheen/index.html?hpt=C1
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