They Picked the Wrong Year to Start Coaching Kids' Basketball: Coaches Take Beatdown, Lose an Ear, Out on the Damn Hardwood!

Coachin' them kids: A thankless job in so many ways -- especially when parents and opposing coaches beat the living hell out of ya or try to gnaw your ear off just for doing your job.

And so it is that we have two crazy stories this week from the world of teenage basketball coaching, where (1) a Massachusetts coach allegedly got his ear bit off by an opposing coach for having the gall of winning and (2) a coach in Indiana allegedly got his face beaten to a pulp by one player's old man after coach made the player run some laps (links at bottom). Let the cage carnage begin...

1. Doling Out More Than Just an Earful After the Big Loss

It was the 6th Grade CYO League's "championship game," damn it! And some coaches just don't like it any too much when the opposing team has the nerve of such crass behavior as, for example, winning the big game.

So 34-year-old Timothy Lee Forbes of Springfield, Massachusetts (pictured immediately below) reacted just as one might expect after losing the league championship game -- "he attacked the winning team's coach and bit off his ear" (allegedly)! Yep, it was an ear, all right.

Cops say this apparent Blue Velvet, Mike Tyson-wannabe Forbes scurried the hell out of Dodge before they could arrive, although he now stands charged with "assault and battery and mayhem." Meantime the other coach must not feel like much of a winner right about now, but at least he was able to get that ear reattached. No harm, no foul?

2. Hows About I Run a Lap All Over Your Damn Face?!?

Do not try to coach this man's daughter. You can think about it. But D-O-N'-T DO IT! Lest you wish to have the old man pound your face into a mud hole (allegedly)...

Michigan City, Indiana elementary school basketball coach Jeffrey Yackus reportedly just wanted to teach one of his girl players that it ain't OK to fight in practice. So Yackus made the little alleged female brawler run some laps after the incident. Wrong move.

Cops say that once the girl's old man (the below-pictured Shelly S. Miller) got wind of those extra wind sprints, he flew into a rage and raced right down to that school to teach the ol' Coacher a lesson!

First, this pugilist papa allegedly clocked Coach one right in the kisser, knocking Yackus to the floor. But since Miller apparently felt that knocking out Coach hardly made up for all those laps his little girl had to run, Miller then allegedly leaped on top of the helpless coach and savagely beat him in the face (just for good measure) until another coach intervened.

But now this fightin' father may have to look for his next bout down at the local hoosegow, since he faces a felony battery charge. But I betcha for darn sure that no man will ever, EVER make his girl run another lap around the gym again.

http://www.ksdk.com/news/article/309799/28/Angry-dad-Timothy-Lee-Forbes-attacks-youth-coach-then-bites-ear-off
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/gameon/post/2012/03/father-beats-up-daughters-elementary-school-coach/1#.T1_3NcUge68
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2114471/Father-faces-assault-charge-knocking-daughters-basketball-coach-forced-run-laps.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2114377/Losing-high-school-coach-bites-rivals-ear.html

Oops: Young Punks Nearly Burn Down Historic Medieval Castle While Trying "to Smoke Their First Cigarette" (Allegedly)!

It's the Krasna Horka castle in Slovakia, and the historic 14th Century compound has long been home to numerous "priceless antiques and works of art." So naturally, it's the first place a couple of little shits would think of when trying to find a joint in which to light up their first smoke, right? Or not. (Please do the world a favor, cops, and keep these punks away from the Eiffel Tower and the Great Pyramid next time)...

Slovak cops say these two butt-loving brats (only 11 and 12 years old) sneaked onto the castle grounds in order to perform a little "experiment with smoking." But those efforts went up in smoke, cops say, when the tokin' twosome carelessly disposed of their matches, which "sparked" quite the raging, flaming scene faster than an office smoke break.

Cops say the smoke and fire tore through the old castle in minutes, ultimately "gutting" the structure despite the best efforts of more than 80 firefighters. On the bright side, a majority of the castle's art work was able to be evacuated and saved by frantic caretakers.

And in case you think these two smokin' striplings will have to suck down their next cancer stick inside the local hoosegow or Juvy, think again: The linked article says that "children under 15 cannot be prosecuted in Slovakia" [for anything???]. Talk about mixed smoke signals to the little tikes. Might as well roll another smoke and fire up them coffin nails, boys! Ain't nothing stoppin' ya.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/11/krasna-horka-fire-smoking-children-slovakia-castle_n_1337606.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2113802/Kosice-Slovakia-Children-burn-14th-century-castle-cigarette.html

[Postscript: Kids -- Never smoke cigarettes or chew tobacco.]

Leave the Bums Alone! Hobo Couple in Connecticut Arrested & in Hot Water for Allegedly Having Sex in Public on a Park Stage...

Where else are they gonna do the dirty deed?!?

THEY HAVE NO HOME!!!


http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/07/homeless-couple-arrested-for-having-sex-on-stage-at-danbury-green/

Big Balls or Small Brains? Man Brags Up His Bank Jobs Even BEFORE Committing Them: "Fucking Bank!"

It's one way that a lot of crimes get solved: The fool perpetrator is so proud of himself after the fact that he just GOTS to tell someone! But this has to be the first time I've heard of a criminal boasting about his dirty deeds before even knocking over the joints!

24-year-old Jesse Hippolite (a/k/a Willie Sutton Jr.) (pictured above) of the Big Apple pleaded guilty to three bank jobs late last week and reportedly admitted in court to patting himself on the back on Facebook even before hittin' the bricks to go pull the heists.

Hippolite is reportedly also a suspect in 16 bank capers in addition to the three he admitted, and it sounds like this "dopey delinquent" just couldn't bring himself to go out on a piece of work until he could first take to Facebook to blow his own horn about the job. Some of his top Facebook blasts (and my reactions) include:

(1) "What If We All Got Fed Up With This Recession and Started Running Inside Every Fucking Bank to Give Us The Money That Belong To Us???" [TIR: Uh, anarchy and the end of modern civilized society, for starters? Or am I just being obtuse over here?]

(2) "I Wanna Promote a Heist ... Who Wit It???" [TIR: More of a jewel man, myself -- plus bank jobs involve too many funny hats]

(3) "Crime pays my bills!" [TIR: Why even pay your bills? Just run inside every fucking creditor and demand they give you their money that belong to you]

(4) "I Gotta Get That $$$$$ Man!!!!" [TIR: Not merely four dollar signs, mind you, but the Big Enchilada 5-Pack Panoply! Fatman Mark Mangino would offer up a full bear claw salute!]

But alas, now Hippolite is gonna have to do his boasting from the confines of the hoosegow for a long time to come, as he faces up to three score years in the local freezer. Wonder If He Wid It?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/queen-man-called-willie-sutton-jr-facebook-pleads-guilty-bank-robberies-article-1.1034248
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2111488/Robber-bragged-Facebook-bank-heists-BEFORE-committed-admits-crimes-court.html

Papa Johns(on)? Middle School Teacher In Trouble After Students Find Her Past Pizza-Lovin' Porn Videos Online!

So THAT's why her breath always reeked of a meat lovers' pie! Broad really loved the ol' hand-tossed! As reported this week in the legendary SmokingGun.com (link at bottom), a Cali middle school teacher has now had her future sliced eight ways after her students reportedly discovered a series of porn flicks online in which Teach gets further down in the dough than a Godfather's pizza cutter...

Some of the videos reportedly show 31-year-old Stacie Halas (pictured above & below) and her sizable onions inviting into her pad a pizza delivery man from the "Big Sausage Pizza" joint -- where else, right?!? Then (as shown above), "instead of accepting a tip from Stacie, the delivery man opens the pizza box and -- surprise! -- offers her a tip of his own."

That second tip was accepted (and then some), apparently, because then "the duo engaged in a variety of sexual acts on the couch of Halas's apartment." No word whether Teach doled out an "B" or an "F" (or both) to the brazen meat pie man before he headed back to the pizza parlor with a stupid grin on his face.

But regardless, and leaving aside the whole issue of how and why these little teenage punk students are getting access to online porn, their little porn discovery over the past week has placed Teach on indefinite leave and has "removed her from the classroom."

Yeah, that's just great: Teach at home with nothing better to do than to get "Big Sausage Pizza" on the blower again. Must we enable and encourage this chesty pepperoni popper?

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/teacher-stars-in-porn-768912

Instead of Securing the Shitter, They Secured the Little Shits: Workers Allegedly Use Caution Tape to Tie Up Grade School Boys in the Turlet!

They were just "horsing around," say a plumber and another maintenance worker in New Jersey following the shitty incident late last week. And it's difficult not to believe them, what with hog-tying little kids always being a regular barrel of laughs.

This teasing twosome apparently had a big bundle of "CAUTION" tape which they were supposed to use to block off the Gregory Elementary School shithouse while the two of them worked on repairing it. But why put a good gaggle of yellow tape to waste on menial purposes when so much more fun can be had?!? Better to just throw Caution to the wind...

So these joking janitors reportedly went to work, and I don't mean on a faulty flusher. When four little grade school tots (all under 10) entered that crapper, they quickly became wrapped up in a lot more than just a little bathroom break.

The school says the two john jokers -- who claim they were just "having fun" -- used the caution tape to tie up the four lads like a pack of steers in the rodeo. And get this: Since the school and prosecutors say they've found no indication of physical or sexual assault in this little plumbing "prank," no charges have yet been filed.

But these two powder-room picadors haven't exactly gotten off Scot-free, as they've both reportedly been suspended from their jobs. And now a wave of "devastation" has purportedly landed on everyone connected with this incident...

First, one parent of the kids described the event as a "devastating" one for the kids. And not to be outdone, the two washroom wiseguys got in on the act as well, as a source told NBC New York that they're "devastated" too! I just want to know if the shithouse feels "devastated" as well, since I betcha them repairs STILL haven't been done?!?

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Long-Branch-Gregory-Elementary-Students-Bound-Janitors-Tape-Bathroom-141352113.html

Sharing More in Common Than Just Being the Two Worst Presidents of My Lifetime: W's Neo-Con Twin Now Wants to Get Involved in Syria!

With the news today that the individual we currently have as president is pushing for us to get involved helping out the rebellion in Syria (link at bottom), we see yet again (as in Libya) W Bush-like neo-conservatism rearing its ugly head. And I thunk that under Obama, at least, those days of getting involved in other countries' affairs and trying to effect regime change were over when W the assclown retired to his ranch in Texas at the end of 2008?!? How completely naive of me.

But also as with Libya, what really gets my goat is the absolute hypocrisy of the American leftist 20 percenters on this issue. If the neo-con president has an "R" next to his name, those loony freaks will take to the streets in droves to protest foreign involvements. But if a slimeball president instead has a "D" next to his name, they will not only remain silent (hear the crickets chirping from the leftists and their "mainstream" media on this Syria story today), but they will also actually try to defend that so-called president's neo-con course of action to the end (just wait for that the rest of this week)!

The deranged right-winger gop-ers, of course, are little different -- defended W on all his half-ass foreign incursions, but then look to find fault with all of Obama's. I often ask myself: How do these leftists and right-wingers sleep? But I guess they sleep just fine the same way as any garden variety inmate down at the loony bin: A dash of simple-mindedness, combined with a punch of brainwashedness, topped off with a heavy dose of just being plain demented.

http://thecable.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2012/03/06/obama_administration_moves_to_aid_syrian_opposition

Bad Messaging: Hapless Hollywood Hobos Seek Coin with Pitches Dumber Than the Hollywood Stars Upon Which They Sleep!

I GET the whole mindless group-think leftist thing going on in Hollywood when it comes the actors, actresses, directors and producers. But apparently that lack of Independent intelligence has even gone so far as to trickle down to the less fortunate of Tinseltown society -- The Hobos. Or put another way, these bums really need a new PR consultant (see picture at the top)...

"Spare $ For Beer"?!? "Booze - Change"?!? See, here in the mainstream of America, the great Midwest, our tramps are far more advanced and intelligent. Sure, a lot of your donations to them will be going for booze, but they'd NEVER trumpet that fact! They're not STUPID, after all!

Here, our Hobos actually have an ounce of respect for their marks. "Haven't Eaten For Days, Spare $ Appreciated" is a common sign theme. Or, they'll come up to ya and swear, with the highest level of sincerity, that as little as 5 bucks can keep them eating for 5 days. No booze references -- since they're not dumb, and they know we aren't either. Which is a pretty sad indictment of L.A./Hollywood on both sides of the equation, truth be told.

Postscript: Here in Cowtown, I'm like the best and worst mark all rolled into one for these Hobos. I often can be cajoled into giving them everything I'm holding at that moment. Only problem: I rarely carry more 5 bucks at any given time. I hate cash, since I hate getting coin change back. I'm a debit card man, even for charges running less than a buck or two. But as for the bum who hit me with that "5 bucks/5 days" line recently -- he got his 5 all right, but I betcha he didn't get them 5 days. Hope he at least got a 40 for a little momentary distraction.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2109006/Hollywoods-dark-underbelly-Beyond-glitz-glam-Oscars-homeless-struggle-survive.html

No Country for Non-Extremists: Leftist 20 Percenters Raise a Ruckus About Alleged "Moderate" democrat Bob Kerrey Running for Senate. Can't Have That!

It's the latest example of how our two pathetic political parties have little place in their ranks for much of anyone except for devout leftists and staunch right-wingers: democrat party partisan Bob Kerrey of Nebraska (pictured above) wants to run for his old U.S. Senate seat, and leftist 20 percenters are up in arms over that intolerable situation! (Link to full story at bottom).

I recall Kerrey from his prior Senate days in the 1990s, and I never really considered him much of a "centrist." He was distinctly to the left, but I suppose you could toss the amorphous term "moderate" Kerrey's way since he really wasn't a leftist 20 percenter (i.e. that little minority swath of the population that controls the democrat party and describes itself as proudly "liberal" or "progressive"), either.

Regardless, much like the base of the gop-er party shits all over any gop-er not considered sufficiently and rigidly "conservative," the leftist 20 percenters do not at all like the notion of "moderate" Kerrey running for Senate -- even if he gives the democrat party the best chance of retaining that seat in the land of corn, fish fries, bug eaters and polkas.

Just check out this blast from creepy leftist 20 percenter slimeball and frequent "mainstream" media political pundit Markos "Anton Chigurh" Moulitsas (pictured immediately above) from his leftist propaganda website, DailyKos.com: "I hope he [Kerrey] gets carpet bombed . . . And if it turns out he needs [our] help, then too bad. Fuck him!" Nothing says "big tent" political party quite like that!

Politico.com likewise reports that "in the liberal blogosphere . . . Kerrey's comeback bid was lambasted [this week] as the return of yet another mushy moderate. The online left says it won't lift a finger for him -- and in some cases, it's even rooting against Kerrey." That big tent just keeps 'a growin'!

Yep, this is the democrat party and republic partisan party of 2012: We're stuck with them, and only them, as a choice, and yet they've both evolved so far to the left and right that they represent only minority slivers of the American population anymore. In case you wonder why I strike out both their names on the box at the top of this blog -- there you have it.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0312/73561.html

"Market Likes Gridlock." Rager Like Gridlock Too. Intrade.com Says to Expect More Gridlock After the 2012 Elections, Which Is Just Fine with Me...

As stated in the linked article this week from CNBC (home of bosomy news babe Amanda Drury, who's pictured at bottom): It's a common Wall Street maxim that "Market likes gridlock." Why, you might ask? "This way, a single party can't mess it up." A-Freakin'-Men...

As I've said before, I NEVER in my life want to see again what we saw in 2009 and part of 2010: One of these two rotten, corrupt, out-of-touch, extreme-controlled political parties having complete control of the federal government (i.e. the presidency and supermajorities in the House and Senate). That was damn scary.

Gridlock is good. Gridlock is your friend.

Hail, Hail, Gridlock-and-Roll!

And expect plenty more of it in upcoming years. The linked article points to Intrade.com's current predictions for this year's elections, which currently have (1) Obama's reelection chances at 60% (personally, I'd say more like 52-53%) and (2) the gop-ers' chances as highly likely of retaining control of at least one chamber of Congress (if not both).

Put another way: The chances are very slim of either party having control of the presidency and both chambers of Congress. And even if that remote contingency occurred, it almost certainly would not have one party controlling Congress with the types of supermajorities necessary (as we saw in 2009 and 2010) to foist through massive pieces of unpopular leftist or right-winger legislation (see, e.g., Obama & the democrat party's health care Monstrosity).

So, as famous law enforcement officer Roscoe T. Coletrain might say: "Good News, Good News!"

[Oh yeah right, here's Mandy!:]

http://www.cnbc.com/id/46556820

Boy, You Is a LAZY Bastard! Teen Allegedly Pulls Two of the Laziest Bank Jobs in History from the Comfort of Mama's Car in the Bank Drive-Thru...

I really don't care for half-ass efforts. Have some pride in what you do, regardless of the activity. You don't try to pull a jewel heist with a fishing pole, and you don't try to whack somebody out with a Nerf hammer. Likewise, if you wanna pull a damn bank job, at least have the common decency of ENTERING the joint!

But cops in Utah say a lazy 16-year-old boy just had to mail it in, half-ass style, on two bank jobs he allegedly pulled last week inside the space of 20 minutes. First of all, the little shit didn't even have the courtesy to take his own ride to these pieces of work, instead taking Mama's car to the jobs (allegedly).

Then once at the banks, the young punk couldn't even muster up the motivation to physically enter the banking premises -- instead allegedly pulling through the banks' drive-thru's and sending stick-up notes through those little banking tube canisters!

And people wonder why the rotten little young creeps these days are so damn lazy: This punk's halfhearted efforts were actually REWARDED by tellers, who gave him some cash through the drive-thru canisters in both instances! "It is weird that it worked, but it worked twice," said the local cops.

Then the lazy teen couldn't even see fit to return Mama's car to her, instead abandoning the vehicle nearby and sauntering down the street (allegedly). Mama was reportedly later "definitely surprised" by this behavior for some reason, says the linked story.

Meantime cops arrested the teen as he strolled along the street, after which the lazy tot (allegedly) presumably got to spend a lazy day sitting on his ass down at the Juvy. Can't we bring back the chain gangs for these lazy punks? Someone needs to light a damn fire!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/26/teen-borrows-mom-car-to-rob-bank_n_1302315.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2106870/Teen-arrested-robbing-TWO-banks-comfort-mothers-car-passing-notes-drive-windows.html

Pundit democrat: "Thanks, GOP Candidates, For Move to Far Right!" AS IF There's a Single Thing About the democrat party That's "Moderate" or Centrist!

The above quote comes from the headline to a Politico.com column this week written by some democrat party person named Jennifer Granholm (never heard of her). It's in reference to the deranged right-winger gop-er presidential field and how they've tried to move way to the right to appear to be the most "true conservative" candidate to the republic partisan party's far right-winger base.

That criticism in itself is not only fair, but it's also true. But that's not what caught my attention. Instead, I'm amused by the highly smug, arrogant tone and theme of the article, which very much presupposes that there's absolutely nothing extremist or radical about the sad modern incarnation of the American democrat party!

Nothing new to me, however. People loyal to the democrat party seem to have this weird delusion that they are somehow in the mainstream of the country. It leads them, for example, to maintain until they're blue in the face that Obama (perhaps the most left-wing so-called president in American history) is some sort of "moderate." And the thing is -- I think many of them actually believe that line of bullshit.

So let's set the record straight with a little American political culture 101: The democrat party is controlled and bankrolled by its base -- the roughly 20% of the American population comprised of self-described "liberals" and "progressives." (I personally coined the phrase and call them "leftist 20 percenters" because they don't deserve the respect of being called the names they've chosen for themselves).

That's the American far-left. It is virtually one and the same with the democrat party. And there's nothing centrist, "moderate" or mainstream about it. If you're a part of the leftist 20 percenters, then you're decently represented by the democrat party. But unfortunately, that leaves about 80% of the rest of the American population.

So let's not cast so many stones, democrat party, about how far right-wing, out-of-touch and extremist the gop'ers are. That not only goes without saying. But it also in no way eviscerates the cold hard fact that you are little different from them. Two peas in the same extremist pod, as I like to say.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0212/73337.html

Body Damage: Plump Buck-Naked Broad in San Fran Reportedly Goes Berzerk on Man's Windshield for No Good Reason -- All Out in the Middle of the Street!

He just wanted to take his car in for some repairs, and all he got for his efforts was a lotta more hurt! And this plus-sized broad must REALLY hate Volvos -- or at least Volvos driven by skinny people who are fully clothed...

25-year-old John Knight of San Francisco probably wouldn't have even been out on the road one Saturday earlier this month if not for the fact that he needed take his Volvo in for repair work. And little did he know just how big that repair job was gonna be!

Knight says he was driving through Noe Valley when he came to a stop and saw a big, burly broad -- weighing in at around 250 pounds -- wrapped in a blanket with a bunch of (obviously deranged) gawkers surrounding her. And that's when all hell broke loose...

Next, and no for apparent good reason, the ample dame threw off her blanket to reveal that she was wearing nothing but a pair of walking shoes. Without a stitch of clothes (or, apparently, a stitch of sense), this leafless lard lady made a beeline straight to Knight's Volvo and allegedly went ape (as pictured at the top).

Knight says this bare-skinned big-ass broad first leapt up on his hood and put a big boot to his windshield -- shattering it with a single fell stomp (pics above). And she was just getting warmed up at that point, as she continued kicking at the lifeless Swedish import vehicle until the cops showed up to finally put an end to her big fat foot attack (allegedly).

For some reason, cops hauled in the buck naked boot babe for a psychiatric evaluation. (No word whether the gawkers staring at a naked fat chick were hauled in for evaluation themselves).

Meantime Knight thinks insurance will cover the damage and he says he's not interested in pressing any charges. Now that's a classy guy putting his best foot forward -- especially since he doesn't have to foot the bill on this one.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2012/02/25/BA9M1NCBS0.DTL
http://sfist.com/2012/02/24/large_naked_woman_stomps_on_car_in.php
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2106463/Heavyset-woman-wearing-TRAINERS-stomps-windscreen-mans-car.html

"Fuck You, You Son of a Bitch, Now It's My Turn!" Hero 90-Year-Old Blasts Alleged Slimeball Burglar After Getting Shot in the Damn Face!

You picked the wrong old fart codger to screw around with, scumbait. 90-year-old fitness buff Jay Leone (pictured above and below) of Greenbrae, California says 30-year-old skunkwad ex-con felon Samuel Joseph Cutrufelli broke into Leone's joint and "held a gun to his head demanding valuables." Bad move.

That's because the crafty coffin-dodger (whom I swear is probably Burt Reynolds' long-lost older brother) quickly improvised a subterfuge premised upon a ruse that he (Leone) needed to use the shithouse.

And this badass old coot came out that crapper with more than just a lovegun in his hands, as he was able to retrieve a sidearm he'd squirreled away there -- in particular, a .38 Smith and Wesson revolver. A bona fide gunfight broke out from there...

This sewerwagon Cutrufelli got in the first big blow, allegedly shooting the old geezer right in the face. In particular, a bullet from Cutrufelli's gun entered the old timer's "jaw area and exited the back of his neck," although "without causing a fatal wound."

The fired-up old fossil says he never even realized he'd been shot -- "I never felt a thing," he says. Meaning he had plenty left in the tired old tank to still go after the creepjob alleged burglar with the same piece with which this angry oldster had just emerged from the shitter.

"Fuck you, you son of a bitch, now it's my turn!," the old bat says he then screamed at the much younger goonbag. At that, the grizzled old greatgrandpa says he fired off three shots right into the swinebucket's stomach!

The gray-haired, gun-playin' geriatric guy says he then wrestled around with this scuzshow, until the fiend (realizing he was out of bullets) scurried away like the cowardly swine that he is (allegedly).

The facial gunshot wound laid up the old ossified Leone in the hospital something good, but not quite good enough to prevent the old-fangled gunfighter from appearing -- big swollen, bandaged face and all -- at this crudjacket Cutrufelli's preliminary hearing this week on charges of "attempted murder, burglary, robbery and firearms offenses by a felon."

So what we basically had here was the good old (literally) fashioned American hero against the garden variety crumb-bucket bully criminal (allegedly). And the good guy won. To all the sleazeshows nation and worldwide today: WTF you gonna do about it?

http://www.marinij.com/rosskentfieldgreenbrae/ci_19991503
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2103956/F-you-son-b--Now-s-turn--How-90-year-old-man-returned-burglar-didn-t-realize-d-shot-himself.html

Obama: "I've Got Another Five Years Coming Up" as President. My, Aren't We Full of Ourselves?!?

That was a flat out stupid statement by the individual we currently have as president, who's often described by leftist 20 percenters as the most intelligent president in American history and one of the smartest men currently residing anywhere in the civilized world. Going beyond mere confidence in his reelection chances (which is fine and expected) to actually acting like his reelection is a foregone conclusion. A simple formality. Inevitable.

That level of arrogance ain't likely to sit so well with the people who decide your election outcomes. I already know this Independent won't be voting for Obama (nor the gop-er either), but what about all the other Independents (1) who haven't yet made up their minds and (2) will be making a lesser-of-two-evils choice between the democrat party and republic partisan party? On his next vacation or golf outing, methinks Obama might want to break out for a little shopping with Michelle and invest in a muzzle.

http://www.politico.com/politico44/2012/02/obama-ive-got-five-years-left-to-solve-immigration-115342.html

Why Not Just Draw 'Em a Map: Hungry "Burglar" Allegedly Knocks Over Partyshop But Gets Nabbed After Cops Follow a Trail of Candy Wrappers to His Door!

It's never difficult to find Jose. Always leaves a trail of rubbish behind him. Allegedly...

I'll say this: He must've been famished. Real famished. Since cops in Eloy, Arizona say Jose Lopez, Jr. (mug shot above) just couldn't keep his sweet tooth in check last week when he went to pull a heist down at the local party shop.

Sure (cops say), Lopez made sure to pocket some loot during this piece of work -- a couple grand in cash and jewelry. But it was the joint's candy inventory that really seemed to captivate this walking Nestle Crunch Bar (allegedly). "All the chocolates were gone, completely," complained the store's owner.

And not only that -- Lopez wasn't just gonna haul that sweet score away like so many necklaces and dead presidents. Nope. He was gonna eat it. Right there. Right then. And ALL the way home, baby!

That's why it took cops some "old fashioned police work" to solve this one. Noticing a trail of chocolate bar wrappers leading away from the store, the thought occurred to someone that maybe they oughta just follow that there trail.

And a smart move it was. Cops say they were able to follow the trail of candy debris for a quarter mile -- straight (you guessed it) to Lopez's pad. And it's not like the chocolate bar remnants are the only evidence the cops have here...

They've reportedly also been able to match a footprint from the party shop to a footprint along the wrapper trail. Needless to say, the latter footprint was "surrounded by candy wrappers."

Now Lopez may have to listen to the Snickers of others for some time to come down at the hoosegow, since cops have busted his candy ass on three charges of burglary, theft and possession of pot. But how he's escaping justice for all that damn littering, I have no idea. C'mon and give a hoot, cops!

http://abcnews.go.com/News/arizona-thief-leaves-candy-wrapper-trail-police/story?id=15722214#.T0BY8ocgdDs
http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/region_central_southern_az/other/crook-breaks-in-to-bakery
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2103034/Dumb-burglar-grabbed-candy-break-leads-police-straight-door-trail-sweet-wrappers.html