The Independent Rage: They Picked the Wrong Year to Start Coaching Kids' Basketball: Coaches Take Beatdown, Lose an Ear, Out on the Damn Hardwood!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

They Picked the Wrong Year to Start Coaching Kids' Basketball: Coaches Take Beatdown, Lose an Ear, Out on the Damn Hardwood!

Coachin' them kids: A thankless job in so many ways -- especially when parents and opposing coaches beat the living hell out of ya or try to gnaw your ear off just for doing your job.

And so it is that we have two crazy stories this week from the world of teenage basketball coaching, where (1) a Massachusetts coach allegedly got his ear bit off by an opposing coach for having the gall of winning and (2) a coach in Indiana allegedly got his face beaten to a pulp by one player's old man after coach made the player run some laps (links at bottom). Let the cage carnage begin...

1. Doling Out More Than Just an Earful After the Big Loss

It was the 6th Grade CYO League's "championship game," damn it! And some coaches just don't like it any too much when the opposing team has the nerve of such crass behavior as, for example, winning the big game.

So 34-year-old Timothy Lee Forbes of Springfield, Massachusetts (pictured immediately below) reacted just as one might expect after losing the league championship game -- "he attacked the winning team's coach and bit off his ear" (allegedly)! Yep, it was an ear, all right.

Cops say this apparent Blue Velvet, Mike Tyson-wannabe Forbes scurried the hell out of Dodge before they could arrive, although he now stands charged with "assault and battery and mayhem." Meantime the other coach must not feel like much of a winner right about now, but at least he was able to get that ear reattached. No harm, no foul?

2. Hows About I Run a Lap All Over Your Damn Face?!?

Do not try to coach this man's daughter. You can think about it. But D-O-N'-T DO IT! Lest you wish to have the old man pound your face into a mud hole (allegedly)...

Michigan City, Indiana elementary school basketball coach Jeffrey Yackus reportedly just wanted to teach one of his girl players that it ain't OK to fight in practice. So Yackus made the little alleged female brawler run some laps after the incident. Wrong move.

Cops say that once the girl's old man (the below-pictured Shelly S. Miller) got wind of those extra wind sprints, he flew into a rage and raced right down to that school to teach the ol' Coacher a lesson!