Thursday, June 9, 2011

Woman Dressed As Zany Circus Clown Pulls Bank Job: What Do Some of These New Age Criminals Have Against Traditional Garb Like Ski Masks?





We've seen it before. Criminals in all sorts of crazy get-ups when they pull their heists. We've seen Santas. Dead presidents. Various wild animals. Men dressed as grannies. And then all of the assorted creatures from the horror pictures (Frankenstein monsters, vampires, wolfmen, zombies, etc.). And for what reason?

They're Gonna Put Me in the Movies!

Seems pretty obvious. They figure they can get their crime on and get some major pub in the process. Sort of like the third grader who tells his teacher, "Teach, someday I'm going to be rich and famous!" But that's where the third-grader logic of these stupid criminals breaks down faster than a partisan's "yeah but, you guys did it too" argument.

That's because in addition to a crazy costume being fairly easy to spot after the job, the more notoriety and publicity your crime garners, the more attention and emphasis you can be damn sure the local cops and prosecutors are going to place upon it. And those things tend to be rather bad news for your garden-variety, nickel-and-dime criminal.

Just like the wise mafia hood always tries to stay invisible to the public at large, the non-stupid criminal eschews the fancy wigs and makeup for the tried-but-true simplicity of the ski mask or perhaps a panty hose disguise. Even a caveman could understand that.

"No Laughing Matter"

No, a circus clown suit ain't cuttin' the smart mustard, either. But that didn't stop a 44-year-old Pennsylvania woman from knocking over a bank for 7,000 bucks "clad as a clown" (pictures at the top). This week Carolyn Williams (mug shot above, sans the clown makeup) admitted to pulling the bank job in clown garb and pleaded guilty to felony robbery in Northampton County Court.

So what prompted this married mother of two to don "a clown suit, red nose, [multicolored] wig, leggings and a white scarf" and then hold up a bank? Williams said some kidnappers had nabbed her kids and forced her to pull the job. Right! And I'm sure they insisted on the clown costume too. I can only imagine:

"Look, broad, not only are you gonna go hit that bank for us, but you're going to wear this here clown attire, damn it. And if you don't wear it, and if you pull this piece of work in some other kind of costume, then you're never going to see these two little punks ever again," the kidnappers must have told her.

And never mind that by kidnapping the kids and conspiring on the bank job, these kidnappers were suddenly in on two major crimes, whereas they'd only be on the hook for one if they'd simply hit the bank themselves. I realize a lot of these criminals are stupid, but downright imbecilic?

The Kind of Getaway Only a Circus Clown Could Come Up With

Anyway, so much for gratitude, as those pesky kidnappers didn't even provide Williams with a decent getaway plan, apparently. After the job, cops say she drove a mere mile away to a park, where she proceeded to park her car and light up a damn cigarette! (Apparently she had removed some of the clown suit, but I doubt she had time to remove her makeup by then).

Cops found this madcap nicotine fiend right there in the car suckin' down her cancer stick. That's when Williams tried to throw the cops off their game by first feeding them the kidnapping story and then claiming there was a bomb in the car.

But those antics only delayed the inevitable. After evacuating the park and calling in the bomb squad, the cops discovered there was no bomb. Instead, they found "the clown costume, two loaded handguns, a large amount of money and the phony explosive, which was fashioned from a can of soup and bagged rice."

The Funny Farm or the Prison Farm?

Now having pleaded guilty, this bank-rolling buffoon and her hijinks face 20 years in the state hoosegow, where the only thing colorful about her outfit will be its bright orange consistency. At least there, however, she should get plenty of her favorite grub of choice -- canned soup and rice.

But alas, there appears to be one trick that may just spoil that prison punchline: At Williams' sentencing in a few months, her lawyer reportedly may try to argue that Williams is deranged and should be tossed in the bug house instead of the big house. But I'm not so sure about that one:

Just like (as Winston Wolf says) being a character does not mean that you have character, the same holds here: Just because you committed a stupid crime with a crazy story does not mean that you are, literally, crazy. Besides, I'd think that Williams would prefer the joint, where her access to her beloved smokes should be much more readily available.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I Don't Call Them Leftist 20 Percenters for Nothing: New Poll Finds "Only 24% Say They Share Obama's Political Views." Stop the Press!




It's my phrase. I coined it. If you see it used anywhere else on the Net, then it was stolen from me without attribution. "Leftist 20 percenter." And while it may be my original phrase, there's (truth be told) really nothing overly original or novel about it. It merely reflects an indisputable truth.

As discussed previously (and more than once) in this space, the polling data of recent years has been consistent on this point time and time again: The American far left -- the people who call themselves "liberals" and/or "progressives" (terms I rarely use since they want me to use them) -- only make up about 20% of the American population (low 20's at most). Yet they are the little minority that controls the democrat party and (quite frightfully) completely controlled the federal government in 2009 and most of 2010. Never again, I can only pray (and do).

Then you have the other 80 percent of us -- and the reason why this has always been and remains a center-right country (even if the leftist 20 percenters will use any means to try to change that). First you have those Americans who consider themselves to be "conservative" -- consistently polling at about 35% of the population, and sometimes slightly higher or slightly lower. People from that ilk control the republic partisan party.

The remaining 35-40%? Those would be us Independents plus people who consider themselves non liberal/progressive democrats and non-conservative republic partisans. This group is not really represented in any meaningful fashion by either of our two awful, corrupt and destructive political parties known as the democrat party and republic partisan party.

And with that little lesson in America's Makeup 101 now behind us, I get to the topic of the new Rasmussen poll that finds that only 24% of American registered voters "say their political views are about the same as the president's." No great revelation there. Obama is a devoted leftist 20 percenter and he consistently acts like one. In my opinion, he's arguably been a fine president for his 20%, but as for the other 80%, he's been one of the two (along with W) worst and most destructive presidents of my lifetime.

The other interesting thing I saw from the new Rasmussen numbers is a small possible erosion of the consistent 35% that calls itself conservative -- although I'm wary to necessarily claim erosion merely on the face of the new data. Rasmussen finds that only 24% of registered voters feel they hold the same ideological views as the average republican (republic partisan) member of Congress.

While I'd love nothing better to claim this number means that less than 35% of the country now considers itself to be totem pole-thinking followers of a conservative ideology, I'm not going to make that claim as of yet because the poll didn't ask that specific question and (moreover) there could be something else at play here: In this age of the tea party and almost unprecedented levels of conservative grassroots efforts, there are a ton of far right-wingers out there who are disillusioned with the republic partisan party because they actually think it's not far enough to the right.

I have a strong suspicion that a lot of those types of people are responsible for a poll result saying that only 24% of Americans hold the same views as republic partisan members of Congress while consistent polling data has found about 35% of Americans purport to blindly follow the ideology of being a "conservative."

Regardless of any of that, there remains little to debate when it comes to our (non) friends whom I call the leftist 20 percenters. They still comprise the same tiny (yet highly powerful and dangerous) group that they long have been. I only ask those around me to realize them for whom they are and always (always) keep a close eye on them. The America they want is the thing of nightmares when it comes to the vast majority of the country.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Prickly New Thorn Raises Its Ugly Head in Weinergate: Allegations That Anthony's Weiner Used Government Resources to Sext & Engage in Phone Sex!





Anthony really liked to talk about his Weiner (allegedly). Today brings new Weiner revelations from a 40-year-old Vegas blackjack dealer named Lisa Weiss (the first woman pictured above).

She says that she and democrat party congressman Anthony's Weiner engaged in a nine-month 'sexting' relationship that eventually turned into phone sex -- and all of it occurring after Anthony's Weiner got married to Hillary Clinton staffer Huma Abedin last year. And that's not even the worst part!

So He DID Use Pubic (errr, Public) Resources During Weinergate?

At his crocodile tear-filled press conference yesterday, Anthony's Weiner claimed that none of his "5 or 6" inappropriate online relationships with other women involved the use of government resources. But casino worker Weiss claims Anthony's Weiner lied when he made that statement, saying that he "did in fact use government resources to send her sexually explicit messages."

That's a bit bad for Anthony's Weiner, since a congressional ethics investigation is about to launch straight upward "to determine whether any official resources were used [during Weinergate] or any other violation of House rules."

For example, Weiss talks about Anthony's Weiner and says that "I gave him my number and he called me from his office and we proceeded to talk dirty for at least 30 minutes." Of course, any self-disrespectin' leftist 20 percenter partisan would retort, "How does she know what phone he was calling from?" Welp, B-U-S-T-E-D on that front! Says Weiss:

"A few days later, I tried to call him back on that number. But the number wouldn't connect to his office; instead there was a recorded message that it was an outgoing U.S. Congress line only."

The leftist 20-percenter partisan's next likely retort: "Well she's probably a conservative republican. Consider the source." Sorry on that front as well: The linked stories say Weiss once worked on a democrat party campaign.

Anthony's Weiner Is a Total "Dog"!

Weiss now describes Anthony's Weiner as a "dog," a "liar" and a "bad man." Weiss, BTW, is the Jewish lady referenced in yesterday's post and upon whom Anthony's Weiner dropped a vile Jewish stereotype about Jewish woman allegedly never giving Lewinskys to men. And check out this crazy Facebook exchange from March between Anthony's Weiner and Weiss (from RadarOnline.com):

Anthony's Weiner: "Ridiculous bulge in my shorts now, wanna see?"

Broad: "Yea! can u send a pic? i want to sit on your c*ck so bad right now"

Anthony's Weiner: "jeez, im rushing. let me take a quick pic"

Broad: "awesome..how do i get it? right on here? how r u gonna go to work with a raging hard on?"

Anthony's Weiner: "it wont go away. and now Im taking pics of it, making me harder still"

Broad: "so hot! u are making me wet again"

Anthony's Weiner: "jeez, i have to go. ill hit you later"

Broad: "aawww...u better"

A month later, on April 16, "a time when the House of Representatives discussed the constitutional authority statement," the Facebook messages reportedly show that Anthony's Weiner asked Weiss "when she was going to send him nude images of herself so he could 'jerk off' ".

He reportedly further told her : " 'Go into the bathroom mirrow now,' encouraging her to snap lewd images and forward them to him. 'I'm like a rock.' "

You Can't Hope to Stop Weinermania; You Can Only Try to Contain It in the Britches

Good grief. This guy reportedly had "Weinermania" runnin' wild for women across the Net! ("Weinermania" being a phrase coined by Weiner's sext partner porn star Ginger Lee -- pictured above posing on the chair).

And in addition to allegedly using public resources to fire off his frankfurter, RadarOnline.com is reporting that congressional records reveal that 15 of Anthony's Weiner's "cyber-sex sessions" with casino worker Weiss occurred while he was on the job in Washington D.C. -- with one encounter occurring "on the same day he debated official government business."

So another lie exposed (allegedly). Sounds like this guy is certifiably pathological. If during his next presser he disavows any involvement in the Kennedy assassination, I'm going to call for a new congressional investigation!

Monday, June 6, 2011

"Weinermania" Runs Wild; Lid Blown Right Off Anthony's Weiner, As "Weinergate" Grows Huge: Startling Admissions & "Me and the Pussys"?!?





Thursday PM Update: This was one Long D(ong)-Day for Anthony's Weiner. In a press conference this afternoon, democrat party congressman Anthony Weiner admitted that he lied last week about someone (allegedly a "conservative") "hacking" his Twitter account and sending out a picture of Anthony's Weiner to a young lady in Seattle. With crocodile tears, he also admitted today that it was, indeed, Anthony's Weiner in that picture (immediately above).

He also admitted to "engaging in several inappropriate conversations conducted over Twitter, Facebook, email, and occasionally on the phone with women I have met online [including] exchanged messages and photos of an explicit nature with about six women over the last three years" -- with "some" of these events taking place after he got married last year. This capped a crazy day in which some of those images were starting to come to light even before Anthony's Weiner had its (errr, his) press conference...

Weinergate's Meteoric Expansion Throughout the Day...

Here's a "blow-by-blow" account of Anthony's Weiner in terms off all the wild stuff that occurred throughout Monday, culminating in to the ramrod-style revelations of Anthony's Weiner at this afternoon's press conference:

It kicked off early Monday morning, with deranged right-winger Andrew Breitbart's website "Big Government" saying it had "detailed new information" about Anthony's Weiner and a new woman "involved in an online, consensual relationship involving mutual exchange of intimate photographs." Breitbart promised more to come soon but said "however, we will not be releasing all of the material because some of it is of an extreme, graphic nature."

Monday afternoon, Breitbart started releasing some of the new online photos of Anthony's Weiner, including several pictures (one above) of Anthony's Weiner engaging in cheesy, outlandish shirtless poses -- just like that goofy republican congressman Chris Lee earlier this year. Like slimy partisan, like sleazy partisan. What a dork!

Another new picture that came out today (also shown above and apparently different from the pictures that Breitbart was talking about) has Anthony's Weiner sitting on a couch next to a cat. That picture was reportedly sent out to another young lady above the caption, "Me and my pussys."

Also a Middle-Aged Lady (and a Jewish Slap)?

Still another report today from RadarOnline.com and Star magazine concerned a "middle-aged" woman from Nevada claiming to have 200 sexually explicit messages "from Weiner from a Facebook account" that the democrat "no longer uses."

The woman reportedly claims that she and Anthony's Weiner would engage in "sexting" exchanges, which included Anthony's Weiner stating: "Ridiculous bulge in my shorts now. Wanna See?." Not clear whether this might be the same woman that Breitbart is referencing or whether it's an entirely new woman.

In another reported raunchy exchange with the "middle-aged" woman, Anthony's Weiner (which is Jewish) dropped a snide Jewish stereotype on the woman (who's apparently also Jewish). First Anthony's Weiner reportedly asked, "You give good head?", with the woman replying, "I've been told really good ... and i love doing it."

Anthony's Weiner then reportedly blasted: "Wow a Jewish girl who sucks [Weiner]! This thing is ready to do damage."

Plus ANOTHER Young Lady?

And yet ANOTHER report
on Monday from ABC News tells of a 26-year-old woman named Meagan Broussard (pictured above) who says she engaged in a sexting (and telephone) relationship with Anthony's Weiner that included hundreds of sexting messages over the course of a month. At one point, Anthony's Weiner reportedly admitted to the 26-year-old, "I am stalking you."

And a Damn Porn Star?!?

We also heard more today about the statements that have been made about Anthony's Weiner by porn star Ginger Lee, who reportedly has had Tweeting exchanges with Anthony's Weiner in recent months.

Some of Lee's Tweets have described the current phenomenon as "Weinermania" and have stated that "you know it's a good day when you wake up to a DM [Direct Message] from @RepWeiner [the Twitter address of Anthony's Weiner]." For good measure, another Tweet from Lee says, "I want to have sexual relations with Anthony Weiner."

All of this followed a tumultuous last week for Anthony's Weiner in which the 46-year-old married congressman was accused of Tweeting out that picture of his erect Member of Congress to the young lady in Seattle on Twitter. At first, Anthony's Weiner claimed that someone (allegedly a "conservative") had "hacked" his Twitter account and sent out the photo. But then he admitted later last week that he couldn't say for sure whether or not the picture of the supersized skin flute actually showed his own weiner.

So yep, after a relatively quiet end of last week on this story, the weiner (errr, shit) truly hit the fan today. And it really couldn't happen to a nicer Weiner, truth be told.

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/06/06/shirtless-photos-allegedly-of-anthony-weiner-posted-on-biggovernment-com/
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/06/weiner-used-jewish-sexual-stereotype-facebook-sexting-partner
http://biggovernment.com/abreitbart/2011/06/06/weinergate-bombshell-new-woman-comes-forward-claiming-cache-of-intimate-photos-and-online-communications-with-beleaguered-congressman/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1394860/Young-woman-set-reveal-exchanged-pictures-new-Weinergate-expose.html
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/06/weinergate-grows-another-woman-provides-sex-messages-his-account
http://biggovernment.com/abreitbart/2011/06/06/deja-vu-another-congressman-bares-naked-torso-and-more-for-online-pal/

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Adventure (Route 66), Shock and Sadness (Joplin), & Good Eats (the Great White Grill, etc.); Ain't That America...








A Saturday jaunt through the old stomping grounds of southwest Missouri carried me for about 40 straight miles down Old Route 66, then shockingly through the heart of Joplin, and finally a nostalgic face-to-face with heart-attack city greasy grub at Nevada, Missouri's world-famous White Grill diner (not to mention the Delway burger joint too). Talk about running the gamut of emotions inside of three short hours...

"Won't You Get Hip to This Timely Tip"

Tip being: If you need to travel down Interstate 44 through Missouri, then get the hell off that boring four-lane and get your kicks on Route 66. Almost all of the old alignment of the road (and oftentimes multiple variations of the old alignment) can still be driven across the state from St. Louis to Joplin.

Oftentimes, driving down the old road is a lot like getting in a time machine and heading back to the 1920's and 1930's. That's because it seems like nothing on the old road ever gets torn down like it might be torn down along any other now-obsolete highway.

I suspect that's due to the old road's historical significance and celebrity, and no one wants to tear down anything that might be considered a landmark along its path. In several instances just on Saturday, for example, I saw old relic gas stations along the road that the owners have refurbished and turned into tourist attractions. You'd basically have to be a moron to ever tear anything down along that road, because your property would suddenly lose much of its potential resale value in my opinion.

Thus, a relatively short drive along the road is likely to include myriad vintage first-half-twentieth century motels, cottage and cabin courts, roadhouses, gas stations, through-truss bridges, greasy spoons and diners (some still open), and the ruins of countless ancient brick and stone structures which were previously Lord knows what, Lord knows when.

My drive today started on Missouri Route 266 (old Route 66 alignment) at I-44 Exit 72, with the old road departing from Route 266 west of Halltown and (after passing over two ancient truss bridges and a renovated old gas station tourist site) eventually merging with modern Missouri Route 96.

From there, the old road heads straight west to Carthage, with two old motel courts still standing and open at the intersection of Missouri 96 and Route V at Kellogg Lake on Carthage's eastern outskirts. Then finally (for Missouri), it's through Carthage and (with several slightly different alignments over the years) southwest down to Joplin.

"Now You Go Through Saint Looey, Then Joplin Missouri"

Apocalyptic. That's the best description. If you drive into the tornado-damaged swath of Joplin, it looks a nuclear bomb was set off. Complete destruction as far as the eye can see.

You want to cry; you want to pull over the car to try to do something, anything to try to help some of the locals -- many of whom you'll see milling around their properties or working on initial cleanup efforts just two weeks after the nearly mile-wide F-4 tornado tore through the center of this community of 50,000 people.

All the while, it's surreal, like something from a very bad dream that's not going to end anytime soon. The incredible pictures and video you've seen from this disaster don't even come close to doing it justice or accurately portraying it. That's because you can't get a complete and real feel for the horrific breadth of the destruction from just the images and videos.

I departed old Route 66 at Carthage and drove US 71 and I-44 to the south of Joplin, taking the Missouri 43 exit and heading into Joplin from the south. Perhaps the most striking recollection for me will be how -- as you first enter town -- everything seems so completely normal. No damage. All of the businesses, stores, fast food joints and restaurants are all open. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But then suddenly, you're in it. You've just entered the tornado-damaged swath. It comes out of nowhere. There is no buffer zone. One block, all's normal and well -- then next block, you're in Hell Revisited.

And once you're in it -- as stated above -- nothing but hell and destruction as far as you can see. It seemed to be about a mile wide, but if you were to drive this swath length-wise (which I did not), it would be much, much longer (I'd guess 10-15 miles, although a lot of that would be outside of Joplin).

Then just as suddenly, you're out of it. Right back to normal in northern Joplin just as it had been in southern Joplin. This tornado had little middle ground. It mostly either destroyed you or it spared you. As stated, no buffer zone (or very little at most, which I did not even see). Some further discrete observations:

-Unless I go back to Joplin to engage in relief efforts, I will not go back. That's because the main drags of town (I drove along Missouri 43/Main Street for a little while, then east to Range Line Road, then north) are highly congested and slow moving. I suspect there are a lot of people there who (like me today) are not local residents or relief workers, but instead are there to see the destruction for themselves. The traffic moves at a snail's pace, with long backups behind traffic light intersections.

I felt very bad that I was only contributing to this congestion, and I won't do that again. BTW, while the main drags are all open in town, many or most of the side streets in the damaged swath are either barricaded off or have what I'll call flag-men (since they carry little red flags) stopping any entering cars to ask their business for entering the neighborhood.

-Thank goodness that there appears to be many, many relief workers there. Just in my short drive through the damaged swath, it seemed like I would see a relief station almost every few blocks. Frequently, you'll see a person holding a "Free Meals" sign at roadside to garner the attention of the displaced and relief workers in need of a meal.

-There are also small "tent cities" where the displaced residents (and I assume many relief workers) are currently staying. I can't even imagine how bad it must be to have to stay in a tent at night in the sort of heat that Joplin (like the rest of the middle America) is currently feeling and will be until the end of the summer. The tent cities I saw consisted of dozens and dozens of tents grouped together in close proximity.

-In the residential neighborhoods that I drove through, I noted that the ruins of most of the houses would have the phrase "We're OK" spray-painted on whatever front wall of the house that might still be left -- obviously to let rescue workers know over the past two weeks that there was no need to go through the rubble of that home. I also saw a few destroyed homes that had "Missing" sprayed on them, but with "We're OK" sprayed in a different color below -- obviously signifying an initial unknown status followed by turning out to be OK.

-Truly inspirational for me was to see some of these completely destroyed homes with an American flag flying atop them. Obviously, the homeowners went in after the tornado and placed those flags on top of the ruins of what had been their houses. I read that gesture and symbol as an expression of the sentiment that they're Americans, and therefore they will get through this, somehow, and they will overcome.

-I saw what I think was probably Joplin High School (or else it was some very large public school in the middle of town). I say Joplin High School because one of the torn-out exterior walls revealed a big Eagle painting on an interior wall, and the Eagle (as I recall) is the Joplin High School mascot. Regardless, this school was mostly wiped out. It will have to be leveled and built anew.

-I saw what was probably a Burger King. You couldn't tell for sure, because there was no building; rather, the only thing left was the kiddie playland, which looked to be untouched. Those playlands must be bolted in like nothing else. I say Burger King because about 2 blocks later, I suddenly drove out of the damaged swath, and there was an open and non-damaged McDonald's right there. No way there's two McDonald's in two blocks' proximity.

-I wanted to recite some of the observations that I can recall from today for posterity's sake, but I would prefer not to do so again. I'd rather not remember very often many of the things I saw today. I cried (something I pride myself in never doing, at least in front of anyone) driving through Joplin today and in writing this blog post tonight. Please give something -- whether it be just a bit of money or supplies or just a bit of volunteer time to this completely devastated small town in southwest Missouri.

Nevada Never Really Changes; It Only Ages & Shrinks a Bit (And No, I'm Not Trying to Describe a Particular Body Part)

The way home north from Joplin to Kansas City brought me through the little hamlet of 9,000 people known as Nevada, Missouri. This is my original hometown, you see. Fourth grade through high school. And what do many people do after a depressing day or episode, including me? Eat, that's what.

Just like I pert-near (sp.) polished off an entire White Castle Crave Case on November 7, 2009 as the U.S. House was poised to pass the democrat party's health care monstrosity (ultimately ram-rodded through into law thereafter by virtue of Black Christmas and Sunday Bloody Sunday), I had to hit tonight the legendary and notorious greasy spoons of the "Nevamo" both for some dinner and for some taking-home-to-freezer eats.

First, it was the longtime locally loved burger joint on the west edge of town along US 54 (I drove up from Joplin along the for-me nostalgic Missouri 43) -- the Delway Drive In (back in the day, called Bains' Delway).

At the ol' Delway, I phoned in a carryout order, as follows: Double bacon cheeseburger basket with suzies and (in order to watch my diet) a Diet Coke. Also: A Coney footlong, an order of fried mushrooms with dipping sauce, and an order of onion rings.

Then it was east across town to the famous White Grill, located in the center of town for over 70 years at a location that was once a crossroads and temporary merging point of US 71 and US 54 (long before either road followed its current alignment).

So I phone in my carryout order, and I says to the young man, I says, I says: Yoos offer up the breakfast grub in the evening? (Not thinking that they did)! Sure enough, yes, he said!

Then I'm rolling. I get a large order of what they call the THE MESS -- one of those classic diner Dagwood Bumstead-type creatures that tosses in everything but the kitchen sink: Scrambled eggs, hash browns, a bunch of onions, cheddar cheese, fried meat, etc.

The only things distinguishing THE MESS from the classic Columbia Missouri dish at Broadway Diner known as THE STRETCH are (to the best of my hazy late night recollections) mashed potatoes, chili and hot sauce. THE STRETCH is Number One, but THE MESS works all too well in its absence!

Just for good measure (since White Grill is best known as a burger joint), I also ordered a Whistleburger with (again) an order of Suzy Q's. BTW, I've always heard that Suzy Q's were invented and inspired by a cutie gal with whom I went to high school in Nevada -- Suzy Edmiston -- although that account has never been officially confirmed on Wikipedia (meaning it's probably true).

So those are the rollercoaster ride of emotions for me on a god awfully hot day in early June 2011. Having now just polished off a plate full of several varieties of the eats that I just described, I must now politely excuse myself to the Shithouse. But as I take my leave, please do think of Joplin.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

First Hot Weekend of Summer Has People Trying to Beat the Heat By Going Buck Naked for a Public Swim, a Roadside Jog, and a Wild Graveyard Sex Romp!






OK, it's hot this weekend. Really hot. All across the country. And humid as hell. Not to mention, people are also hot under the collar with all of this week's the terrible economic news and the unemployment rate back up over 9% in Obama's America.

I understand all of that. But that still does not give you the right to tear off all your clothes, head out in public, and raise a big buck naked ruckus! (Could you please describe the ruckus, Sir?)

Just Looking to Cool Off, Kiddie Swimmers Get a Lot More Than They Bargained For

Cops in the Kansas City suburb of Overland Park, Kansas say the unidentified man first kicked off his day with a nice relaxing jog along the city streets. Only problem? The man had apparently earlier traded in his jogging outfit for a birthday suit. Naked as a Kansas jaybird!

The "deranged naked jogger" streaked his way right through the quiet suburb, "running in the buff next to a [busy] two-lane road" while "stunned drivers stopped their cars as the man sprinted" right on by. (Picture above).

"Oh my God, this guy's naked,"
spouted eyewitness Amy Shapiro, who reportedly "whipped out" something of her own (a cell phone) to "film the spectacle."

Perhaps noticing that he was drawing an awful lot of pesky attention, this demented leafless lunatic next tried to hunker down for cover: "After ducking behind some trees, the man hopped a fence and dove into a pool filled with dozens of neighborhood kids" -- "some quite young." The mamas on hand were reportedly "horrified."

Needless to say, "everybody scattered" and soon this crazed stark-naked creep had the whole public pool to himself (pictures above). "He was just standing there like it was no big deal," said Shapiro.

Apparently finding the cool waters much to his liking, this underdone and unadorned whack job next took to swimming around, "enjoying a solo skinny dip for several minutes until cops arrived and coaxed him out of the water."

Cops whisked away the unclothed oddball for an apparent psychological evaluation. Incredibly, this creepy maniac won't face a stitch of time in the pokey, as he faces no charges. But since he obviously felt an urgent need to cool off, I say why not give him at least a few months in the freezer to do so? And I don't care if he is bananas.

If You're Looking for a Little Sex in the Cemetery, Then Just Watch Out You Don't Get Killed by a Falling Tombstone!

You know, I just mentioned the subject of graveyard sex yesterday, and then BOOM! Here it is today! And I can only imagine how this one might have went down. Maybe something like what sweet-talkin' Sam Wood told simpleminded Delores in the old picture In the Heat of the Night (video below):

"Hey little girl. You know what the coolest spot in town is? The cemetery, that's where. Know why? 'Cause they got all them big cool tombstones. Ever stretch out on a tombstone, Delores? Feelin' all that nice cool marble on your body?"



But regardless of what the guy might have actually said, this story out of New Jersey got off to a rather innocent start by all accounts. A 39-year-old woman and her "male friend" headed off to the local graveyard one evening earlier this week to visit the grave of a relative. But after they got there, all hell broke loose.

Again, I'm struggling to ponder the sequence of events that might have unfolded here. So this broad is at her relative's grave with BF. What came next? Something like this?:

"Granny, your plot looks great. I've straightened up the flowers. I just wanted to tell you that I've missed you so much these seven years. Now, if you'll excuse me a moment, I gotta go bang my boyfriend over on that tombstone."

And that's where cops say things went horribly wrong. I've heard of knockin' boots, but knockin' tombs? And this couple reportedly had them stones a rockin'!!!

So much so, in fact, that the couple's "extracurricular activities" brought one tombstone crashing down right on the woman's leg!

No word whether her beau stopped to aide his lady or whether he just kept on with the business at hand. Depending on the lady, that could be a rather tough call in some instances, I would think.

Now this grave-defiling dolt (allegedly) is gonna have to get her weird-location sex on in a hospital bed, since that's where she's holed up for the time being (although she's reportedly "not badly hurt"). My advice to every nurse working on this dame's hospital floor: Don't go a knockin'!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Teacher's Car Be a Rockin'; DON'T Go a Knockin'! New Tales of School Teacher Sex w/ Students Involving Car BJs & Maniacal Cell Phone Use (Allegedly)!




I have to hand it to these high school teacher sex scandals: Every one is different. Every one seems to have some twisted fact pattern that distinguishes it from all that which has come before. And as long as uniquely crazy facts keep comin', I'll still be payin' attention!

So it is this week that we get (1) a teacher in Alabama who has pled guilty to performing oral sex on two of her students in her car and (2) another teacher in South Carolina who allegedly had sex with one of her students after he fired off hundreds of text messages at her like it was a Palestinian bombardament of Jerusalem. Talk about getting beat into submission...

I Wonder If Teach Drove a Hummer?

Sometimes it's necessary to blow the horn in your car, but this is ridiculous. And I wonder if her tailpipe has any chrome left. Regardless, I bet she really knows how to handle that four on the floor. And I've heard the schoolhouse phrase, "polish the apple," but "polish the knob"?

Her name is Amy Caudle of Alabama (the redhead pictured above), and this week the 31-year-old high school teacher plead guilty to charges that she played tonsil hockey with two of her male pupils in her own car.

And she might have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling fellow school employees. Caudle reportedly had a "slip of the tongue" when talking to one of her coworkers and let the snake slip that she'd been speaking into the mic of two of her students.

By the way, how in the hell does something like that just "slip" out of the tongue? I mean, what was it, something like this (?): "You know, Principal Lewinsky, I really think a lot of little Billy and little Bobby. I think they're just the tops. So much so, I blew 'em out in the parking lot yesterday."

Good Grief. No word whether Caudle might have also gone B-grade porn flick and shouted "you're getting an A" once the dirty deeds were complete.

And while school teachers are known for getting those nice extended vacations once every year, I don't think this is quite what Caudle had in mind: 15 years in the local hoosegow following her guilty plea (although reportedly she'll only face three years of hard time followed by 12 years of supervised probation).

Unfortunately, the only pink oboes and automobiles at the joint belong to the hacks. What will Amy ever do with herself?

Did You Get My Other 400 Texts Saying I Want to Bang You, Teach?

No Mas Text Messages! In South Carolina, 23-year-old Spanish teacher and swimming coach Abby McElhenny (the freckled blonde pictured above) is giving all of us Micks a bad name after being charged with sexual battery after allegedly letting one of her Spanish students take a poke at her. No se.

No "slip of the tongue" here, as McElhenny was reportedly busted by a flurry of text messages (he knows how to habla) that the 16-year-old punk sent to her. Flurry indeed, and the gesture went swimmingly well. Cops say the lad fired off almost 400 text messages to his little Spanish Lolita in the space of five days, raising the suspicions of his parents. (What's suspicious about that?)

Mommy and daddy reportedly checked the boy's phone after catching him in a lie about spending the night at a friend's house. Well, not so much a lie, since Ms. McElhenny was technically his special friend (allegedly).

Next, papa and mama pulled a little sting operation in which they had a friend (posing as a salesman) call Ms. McElhenny, which reportedly yielded the information that she was banging junior.

Again, I'm at a loss to figure out how that could have even gone down. So some purported salesman calls Teach and says something like (?): "Ms. McElhenny, I've got just THE cell phone for you. It has one touch text blocking. So if you're like other teacher customers I've had -- with students hittin' ya up for sex 24-7 -- then THIS phone is for you!" TEACH: "Where can I sign up?"

Yep, I really have to hand it to these depraved teachers (allegedly). It really is something new every single time. I fully expect next week to bring stories about Teacher love on an elevator, and down at the graveyard, and (just for good measure) blindfolded while performing parlor tricks.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1393381/Alabama-teacher-jailed-15-years-having-oral-sex-pupils-car.html

Thursday, June 2, 2011

"Weinergate" Heading South Fast For Democrat Congressman. But No Worries, Leftist Partisans: The "Mainstream" Media's Got the Democrat Party's Back!







I thought this was just a funny little holiday weekend story. Not even worthy of a stand-alone post. Thus, over the weekend, I coupled it with two other weiner stories. Not even a loudmouthed slimy leftist 20 percenter like Weiner (I told myself) could be so stupid as to tweet out a picture of his package (the pic at issue is above) to a young lady. But not so fast! This story's heading downstairs for Anthony's Weiner faster than a No. 1 visit to a Mississippi Shithouse.

"It Could Be Weiner"

The latest this week has Anthony Weiner (a New York democrat party congressman) actually claiming that he can't say for sure whether or not the tweeted picture shows his tallywhacker! Or, to use the slimy politician weasel words of an individual like Weiner, the democrat says he "can't say with certitude" whether or not the photo is of his Johnson, as opposed to someone else's wedding tackle (links to full story at bottom).

This is nearly a complete reversal from the weekend, when this fool was out there blaming "conservatives" and a "hacker" for sending out the photo under his Twitter account.

So what's the story now, Weiner??? Is it that some conservative hacker, in addition to hacking Weiner's account, also may have secretly took a picture of Anthony's Weiner? What's next!?! Bush being involved? Global warming? The racist under your bed?

No Soft Spot for the Young Ladies When It Comes to Anthony's Weiner?

Not only is Anthony's Weiner being forced to defend allegations that he tweeted out his schlong to female college student Gennette Nicole Cordova (the African-American babe pictured above), but the new media scrutiny of his Twitter account has also raised the new allegation that Anthony's Weiner really takes a liking to the young ladies!

As the linked New York Post story reports, Anthony's Weiner has 49,000 Twitter followers, but he "follows back" only a select few 198 (the stingy bastard!). And of those 198, "a surprising number of them are total babes," including a prostitute! This from a leftist who once private messaged on the Net with a porn star named Ginger Lee!

Some of those young babes are pictured above, with such names as Megan Peters @ ladyfoxfyre (pictured with her head on her hands), Traci @ fermdennytraci (in the hat), Kim Pham @ kimpham (in the center), and Aria Finger @ AriaIrene (on the right).

Now, if Anthony's Weiner happened to be single, then there's really no problem here (even if he is 45 years old -- more power to him). But when you consider that he's married and just got married last summer (to the attractive Hillary Clinton "valet," Huma Abedin), then all them young ladies he's following on Twitter might just be judged as being "not quite so cool."

Weiner Goes Below the Belt, Takes a Whack at the Media

While (as detailed below) the "mainstream" media is doing its best to protect its beloved democrat party on this whole story, the same media -- apparently in love with the tabloid and sensationalistic nature of this story (not to mention driven by rival democrat party interests in the Big Apple who want to defeat Weiner for the Mayor's office in the future) -- are going after Weiner whole "hog" and are certainly not trying to ignore the story.

And Anthony's Weiner couldn't be more pissed! I'm sure he's thinking to himself, "these pr*cks are supposed to be protecting Anthony's Weiner!" The intense media attention has really gotten to Anthony's Weiner, as he clearly thinks he's being tooled.

On Wednesday, for example, Anthony's Weiner lashed out at one CNN producer, calling the producer a "JACKASS"! (CNN link below). Lord only knows what may be coming out of this deranged yogurt slinger's mouth next.

It's OK to THINK "Democrat," But DON'T SAY IT!

A simple five-minute Net surf on Wednesday quickly revealed that while the "mainstream" media is fully sizing up Anthony's Weiner, they're also doing their damndest to leave the democrat party's name the hell out of it. Gosh, who would-a figured?

My quick review showed a repeated pattern of either burying or just outright ignoring the party affiliation of Anthony's Weiner. Some outlets, such as Politico.com and LA Times, simply tried to bury the fact that Anthony's Weiner is a "democrat" by making sure only to include that fact paragraphs down in the story.

Other outlets (such as CBS and Huffington Post) couldn't muster up the gumption to even use the word "democrat," instead tossing in the obligatory "(D-N.Y.)" and no other reference to party affiliation.

But at least those outlets made some reference to either a "D" or a buried mention of "democrat." The same can't be said of multiple other "mainstream" outlets -- such as MSNBC, ABC News and New York Times (links to all three below) -- that actually made no reference whatsoever to the party affiliation of Anthony's Weiner!

After all, if you can't say "republican," then say nothing at all, right?!
You know, I can't even imagine what it must be like to be a so-called "reporter" for one of these "mainstream" media outlets -- always feeling compelled to do whatever they can to protect the democrat party and the leftist 20 percenters. Must be a suck-shit way to go through life (and no different from any right-wing propagandist masquerading around as a "journalist").

But one thing you can always count on in this space: I'm an equal opportunity jerkwad. If it's funny, interesting and/or over-the-top, I couldn't give a rat's ass which party is involved: I'm going to write about it (see, e.g., republican congressman Chris Lee -- http://independentrage.blogspot.com/2011/02/oh-my-god-lame-goofward-gop-lawmaker.html)

But then again, I actually have a tiny shred of character and am not a robot. What's the "mainstream" media's and the partisans' excuse?

"Horror for US economy as Data Falls Off Cliff"; "We're On the Verge of a Great, Great Depression." Stop the Press! If Only Anyone Would Listen.


No pictures necessary on this blog post. Frankly, pictures would be inappropriate, because this is the most serious of topics upon which I write. We stand on the edge of economic collapse (links at bottom). And neither party which controls our rotten political system seems very serious about doing anything about it.

The leftist 20 percenter democrat party actually seems to want this to occur so that a new far leftist system can rise from the ashes of what was America. The republicans, meantime, are only minimally serious (in lip service only) about such things as significantly cutting our stifling national debt and permitting our small businesses and industry to start creating jobs, innovation and economic prosperity again.

And almost as frustrating are the ignorant (not dumb, just ignorant) American people at large. Completely oblivious, across the board. More interested in their reality shows and cell phones. I need look no farther than all of the family, friends and work people in my own life. Blotto. No idea of what's coming.

But frankly, I'm yawning at the whole topic. Because I've beaten this drum to death already. Most recently, for example, on April 16...


And on April 25...

So pay no attention, America. I've ceased to care very much. At least about any of you. Don't worry, I'll take care of me and my own only too well, just as I always have. The rest of ya'll: Go f*ck yourselves.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Livin' It Up with Ol' Blue Eyes: New Book Reveals Some Crazy New Stories About Frank Sinatra, But Unfortunately Leaves Some Big "Stones" Unturned...







I had hoped that the new "tell all" book by wife Barbara Sinatra (pictured above & on left) would at least reveal whether Frankie did, indeed, ever give a man the ol' Hucklebuck down at the end of the bar.

Friend Juggy Gayles once claimed that neither Sinatra nor Lapinsky "never had nothin' to do with the Bucklebuck [sic]," but somehow I don't put much stock in the crazy ramblings of a seemingly senile old man (audio clip at bottom). The book is silent on the entire subject matter area, regrettably.

Likewise, while the book does discuss how Sinatra had a great eye for "stone" (jewelry), it reveals little about whether he was your man if you needed to middle a rock somewhere, or whether the classic crooner could even tell the difference between a realsville stone and a fugazi.

There's also little discussion of Sinatra's alleged ties to the Italian mafia. Basically, Barb just pulls a big "forgetaboutit," saying only that Sinatra hated how the media was always talking about him and the mob. He hated that damn "press," says Barbara.

But those shortcomings aside, the new book -- entitled "Lady Blue Eyes: My Life with Frank Sinatra" -- does provide some entertaining new stories and personal facts about the man from Hoboken. And not all of them so flattering...

The Clean & Neat Freak: It's Funny To Everyone But Me

Despite the rumors about Frank's connections to organized crime, there was never anything dirty about this piece of work -- literally. He really "hated feeling dirty." And then some.

Widow Barbara says that her old man would "obsessively" take twelve showers a day! Now, if you figure around 16 waking hours in an average day, that comes out to about one romp in the bathhouse ever hour and a half! (Talk about being watered down -- no wonder he needed a bigger Rug than Bill Self on his first Red Carpet!)

The apparent goal of all those damn showers? To smell like lavender -- what else!?! "He always smelled of lavender," says Barbara.

Sinatra's cleanliness even led him to create a moniker for himself that told the whole story. Babs says "he signed his love notes to her, Charlie Neat."

The Luscious-Lunged Lout

Barbara says that Mr. Neat could also be a little messy. A regular Poppy Gets Sloppy bully. For example, when he wasn't berating and screaming at some Washington Post gossip columnist (and "for good measure stuffing two dollar bills in the woman's glass"), he might be seen tossing a man into a phone booth and clocking him one right in the kisser just "before sliding the door shut."

And Sinatra's "definite Jeckyll and Hyde personality" was only exacerbated when they started pouring the sauce down his snout. Barbara recalled "numerous evenings when he was overdrinking with his buddies, making scenes from New York to Hong Kong." Oftentimes when he went out drinking, he would just "disappear," she said.

One of his favorite drunken stunts was reportedly to rip phones out the wall and heave them into any nearby window. (No word whether he ever knocked over an entire phone booth in a fit of rage, like De Niro's "Jimmy the Gent" caricature on Goodfellas -- truth be told, I still prefer Keifer's Old Man Don as that character in The Big Heist.)

But Barbara says that Sinatra did have a "dangerous charm" about him. That's one way of putting it. Like the time she says he "hurled a brass clock into a wall during a game of charades." (Which I can only imagine: "I was a horse! Whatsamatta wid you?!")

Barbara also says that Francis Albert loved his first cousin, Jack Daniels, but that if Francis started taking a nip out the gin, then you needed to run the other direction. "I didn't want to be around him if he drank gin," says Babs. She'd even run away, literally:

"Gin, I think, made him mean. [If I saw] a gin bottle on the bar, I'd turn right around and go back in the room and lock the door because I didn't want to deal with that," she said.

The Romantic: It Was ALWAYS a Very Good Night (Errr, Year)

The book says Sinatra really knew how to treat a broad. Barbara described him as often "attentive and polite." He would also "pick out amazing jewelry, including a famous Cartier necklace."

He'd also sometimes fly his wife off to Paris for dinner. Barbara was a real sucker for all the expensive hotels and fancy cars, calling it "all some candy jar." (Sounds like a lyric from one of her old man's songs).

But despite some of those better attributes, Barbara still says "he wasn't the most romantic" hot-head in the connected-guy belfry. After all, a "prenup delivered to her on the morning of their wedding" tends to give a girl that particular perspective. (She did put her John Hancock on the dotted line, BTW).

Nor does cheating tend to provide such a perspective -- an activity on which the "notorious womanizer" Frankie should have written his own book before heading downstairs to join up with Juggy in the corner of the bar.

But Barbara's book is disappointingly silent on that whole topic, saying only that she took a neighbor's advice to "look the other way." (How many fellas would give their left fava bean for a dame like that!?!)

The Generosity: Start Spreadin' the C-Notes!

Sinatra was also known for his "state of the art tipping." No cheapskate here. And again, he comes across like some real-life "Jimmy the Gent" and/or a five-minute Steadicam shot through the bowels of The Copacabana. Says Barb:

"He'd walk into a restaurant with a stack of one hundred bills and say, 'make sure to take care of all the busboys, not the waiters, the busboys . . . and everyone in the kitchen."

The Pet Peeves: Mama Will Bark

Even though Sinatra liked to go around smelling like lavender, Barbara says the hypocrite hated "women who wore too much perfume."

And despite his own crazy party antics, Sinatra also didn't care for lushes "who couldn't hold their liquor" -- reportedly not a problem that Barbara ever had.

Sinatra scores the hypocrite hat-trick when it comes to his further disdain for women smoking, which he considered "unfeminine." As a result, Barbara was forced to give up her cigarettes. As for the old man...

The Quirks: Life Is So Peculiar

What did Sinatra have in common with hardcore wrestling legend The Sandman? Unfiltered Camel smokes, that's what. But while Sandman was known to chainsmoke those coffin nails on his way to the ring, somehow I doubt that Sinatra ever fired up a butt during the middle of "My Way." Regardless.

And in addition to be "extremely neat," Barbara also describes her husband as "a great cook, a voracious reader and crossword puzzle ace."

Finally, Barbara says that her old man could be a a very frugal dude who really loved his grilled cheese sandwiches (he was found dead with a half-eaten one beside him). Given that I once invented a very close variety known as the Slimeball Sandwich, I wonder if Ol' Blue Eyes would have taken to my creation?

I figure the next time I'm in California, maybe I head down to the graveyard, lay one of my sandwiches right there at Sinatra's grave, and see what ultimately pushes up out of it. If it's a stinkweed, then I'll definitely know that Frankie's giving me the ol' Hucklebuck.

http://www.9news.com/rss/story.aspx?storyid=200792
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1392767/Obsessive-Frank-Sinatra-took-12-showers-day-smelled-lavender-reveals-widow.html
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/lady-blue-eyes-life-frank-sinatra-excerpt/story?id=13563176
http://www.collegenews.com/index.php?/article/barbara_sinatra_12674/