OK, it's hot this weekend. Really hot. All across the country. And humid as hell. Not to mention, people are also hot under the collar with all of this week's the terrible economic news and the unemployment rate back up over 9% in Obama's America.I understand all of that. But that still does not give you the right to tear off all your clothes, head out in public, and raise a big buck naked ruckus! (Could you please describe the ruckus, Sir?)
Just Looking to Cool Off, Kiddie Swimmers Get a Lot More Than They Bargained For
Cops in the Kansas City suburb of Overland Park, Kansas say the unidentified man first kicked off his day with a nice relaxing jog along the city streets. Only problem? The man had apparently earlier traded in his jogging outfit for a birthday suit. Naked as a Kansas jaybird!
The "deranged naked jogger" streaked his way right through the quiet suburb, "running in the buff next to a [busy] two-lane road" while "stunned drivers stopped their cars as the man sprinted" right on by. (Picture above).
"Oh my God, this guy's naked," spouted eyewitness Amy Shapiro, who reportedly "whipped out" something of her own (a cell phone) to "film the spectacle."
Perhaps noticing that he was drawing an awful lot of pesky attention, this demented leafless lunatic next tried to hunker down for cover: "After ducking behind some trees, the man hopped a fence and dove into a pool filled with dozens of neighborhood kids" -- "some quite young." The mamas on hand were reportedly "horrified."
Needless to say, "everybody scattered" and soon this crazed stark-naked creep had the whole public pool to himself (pictures above). "He was just standing there like it was no big deal," said Shapiro.
Apparently finding the cool waters much to his liking, this underdone and unadorned whack job next took to swimming around, "enjoying a solo skinny dip for several minutes until cops arrived and coaxed him out of the water."
Cops whisked away the unclothed oddball for an apparent psychological evaluation. Incredibly, this creepy maniac won't face a stitch of time in the pokey, as he faces no charges. But since he obviously felt an urgent need to cool off, I say why not give him at least a few months in the freezer to do so? And I don't care if he is bananas.
If You're Looking for a Little Sex in the Cemetery, Then Just Watch Out You Don't Get Killed by a Falling Tombstone!
You know, I just mentioned the subject of graveyard sex yesterday, and then BOOM! Here it is today! And I can only imagine how this one might have went down. Maybe something like what sweet-talkin' Sam Wood told simpleminded Delores in the old picture In the Heat of the Night (video below):
"Hey little girl. You know what the coolest spot in town is? The cemetery, that's where. Know why? 'Cause they got all them big cool tombstones. Ever stretch out on a tombstone, Delores? Feelin' all that nice cool marble on your body?"
But regardless of what the guy might have actually said, this story out of New Jersey got off to a rather innocent start by all accounts. A 39-year-old woman and her "male friend" headed off to the local graveyard one evening earlier this week to visit the grave of a relative. But after they got there, all hell broke loose.
Again, I'm struggling to ponder the sequence of events that might have unfolded here. So this broad is at her relative's grave with BF. What came next? Something like this?:
"Granny, your plot looks great. I've straightened up the flowers. I just wanted to tell you that I've missed you so much these seven years. Now, if you'll excuse me a moment, I gotta go bang my boyfriend over on that tombstone."
And that's where cops say things went horribly wrong. I've heard of knockin' boots, but knockin' tombs? And this couple reportedly had them stones a rockin'!!!
So much so, in fact, that the couple's "extracurricular activities" brought one tombstone crashing down right on the woman's leg!
No word whether her beau stopped to aide his lady or whether he just kept on with the business at hand. Depending on the lady, that could be a rather tough call in some instances, I would think.
Now this grave-defiling dolt (allegedly) is gonna have to get her weird-location sex on in a hospital bed, since that's where she's holed up for the time being (although she's reportedly "not badly hurt"). My advice to every nurse working on this dame's hospital floor: Don't go a knockin'!
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