She Made a Habit of It: "Ohio Nun Charged with Voter Fraud" for Voting Twice in 2012, Faces 18 Months in the Hoosegow. We Could Use this Twisted Sister Over in Rome This Week!

Cops in Ohio say 54-year-old Sister Marguerite Kloos has already agreed to plead guilty to the voter fraud charge, while also already resigning her reported Deanship at the College of Mount St. Joseph's (this dame actually makes Dean Wormer look like a damn Saint!). 

So Mother Superior's gots some free time on here not-so-devine, fast little votin' hands...

And I say let's get her all gussied up in one of those crazy Cardinal costumes (see above) and get her unholy voter fraud ass over to the Vatican! And I mean Pronto, Prioress...

If we can line up just a handful of ballot-stuffin' broads like this one, the election of Jeremy Irons as our next Pope is already in the bag, baby!  Just make sure to vote early and often, sick sister.



http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20130311/NEWS0107/303110080/Nun-2-others-face-vote-fraud-charges?gcheck=1&nclick_check=1
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/11/cardinal-fashion-show-vatican-wear-photos_n_2852944.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Cardinals Set to Begin Papal Conclave This Week "Amid Scandal": Why Not Make Things Easy & Just Elect Jeremy Irons the Next Pope?

He already has multiple years experience sitting on the papal throne as Pope Alexander VI (formerly known as Spanish Cardinal Rodrigo Borgia), and I think he'd be a great choice.  Besides, Irons' prior accomplishments as Pontiff-in-chief have been myriad, meritorious and marveling, including (as historically and very accurately portrayed on the Showtime series, "The Borgias"):

• Irons was instrumental early on in his Papacy in expanding the College of Cardinals, which increased opportunities for priests everywhere.  (OK, he also stacked the expanded College with Cardinals friendly to him  -- a rather shrewd move, truth be told, that would be akin to Obama unilaterally adding two new Justice positions to the U.S. Supreme Court in order to obtain a leftist majority).


• Irons betrothed his hot daughter Lucrezia to an old ugly brute of a man named Giovanni Sforza and forbade his old lady (Lucrezia's mother) from attending the wedding of her daughter. Meantime, through the Sforza alliance, Irons stuck even more valuable political influence in his back pocket. Smooth.


• Irons took on several young hottie broads as mistresses (including, on occasion, more than one on the same evening and at the same time) since all work and no play always makes Popey a dull boy, after all.


• Irons fended off the sacking of Rome by the short, smelly and grotesque French King Charles by bribing His Majesty with the crown of plague-torn Naples. (The cunning negotiator Irons could sell the Brooklyn Bridge to Donald Trump if he had a mind).


• Next, when the angry and plague-ridden Charles returned from Naples to sack Rome for good this time, Irons cleverly used a bunch of phoney, life-like looking cannons to fool and scare away the diminuitive, stinky Frenchman once and for all.  And to show his appreciation, Irons gave a little tour of the Papal Bedroom to the young female who designed the fakes. Such gratitude.


• As pictured above, Irons became perhaps the first great Nicotine Fiend of Rome, as in Season 2 he took to smoking big cigars (received from the New World sans a Cadillac car) right there in the damn Vatican while holding court and granting audiences!


• Finally, after a rogue priest incited young punks in Florence to engage in the Bonfire of the Vanities, Irons promptly had said priest burned to death at the stake in front of a frothing crowd in Rome. That'll teach 'em to mess around with our little luxuries and electronic devices!

So why drag this out, Cardinals? Keep it short. Keep it sweet. And please do the right thing by restoring Jeremy Irons to his Papal pulpit. He looks good in a white beanie, and he's never so much as even whiffed the Hitler Youth.

http://wtop.com/220/3244222/Vatican-conclave-likely-to-start-early-next-week
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20130304/DA4Q9A201.html

Right-Winger Rand Paul Filibusters for 13 Damn Hours on the Senate Floor This Week! Now THAT's Impressive (For NON-Political Reasons)...

Paul's performance filibustered Obama's nomination of John Brennan for CIA director (over Obama's position that drone strikes can be used domestically on U.S. citizens in extraordinary circumstances), but neither that political minutiae nor Paul's typical brand of far right-winger, tea party "libertarian" politics is really the point here...

Instead this observation:  I've given a fair number of presentations and speech-like appearances in my time, but I think the longest one ever I've ever done (at least solo) clocked in around an hour and a half.  And it was damn hard talking even that long without any respite!

Advice: If you ever have to do that, make sure to have at least a couple bottled waters on hand, lest you wish a repeat of Marco Rubio's recent drymouth debacle after the State of the Union.

And back to the point: Just look at this Rand Paul goof -- Thirteen freakin' hours! I may never credit Paul for much of anything ever again, but my hat's off to that shit. To quote Butch Cassidy: I couldn't do that -- could you do that?!?

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-250_162-57572975/rand-paul-ends-filibuster-against-cia-director-nominee-after-almost-13-hours/

Slimeball Leftist Dictator Hugo Chavez Dead: Sean Penn, Danny Glover, Oliver Stone & Others Lose a Good Buddy...

"I mourn a great hero," film director Oliver Stone lamented over the fallen authoritarian dictator.  "I lost a friend I was blessed to have," cried Sean Penn for good measure.

But sorry leftists, for as usual, I have a different take:  Good riddance. The world is a much better place with sleazebuckets like Chavez living in Gonersville.

But maybe I'm just sort of weird like that -- all prejudiced and shit against "benevolent" dictators worth $2 billion bullying around their own people, opposing viewpoints, and the media. So un-progressive, me.  (BTW: Someone didn't pay his fair share!)

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/hugo-chavez-dead-sean-penn-426205

Report: "Men Prefer Rihanna's Taut Tummy" to Kelly Brooks' Curvy Body. Say What? Who Are These Men, and Have They Been Hauled to the Hoosegow Yet for Tokin' on La Paca Lolo!?!

Nothing wrong with Rihanna, mind you. She and her six pack (immediately above) are certainly hot. But just take a gander above at Kelly Brook's freakin' two pack!

Give me the Rack over the Six Pack any day of the week. You have seen my Ladies Panel, no?  And I do wish the UK Daily Mail would stop purporting to speak for "men" everywhere. After all, they broke the damn mold on some of us out here. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2285945/All-abs-Women-want-David-Beckham-pack-boys-men-prefer-Rihannas-taut-tummy-Kelly-Brooks-curvy-bottom.html

HOW DARE YOU! democrat party Members Object to Display of the National Debt Clock at Congressional Hearing This Week!

Much like a morbidly obese individual or a vampire broad on "True Blood,"  leftist 20 percenter democrat party loons like the pictured Maxine Waters apparently really hate looking in the mirror (Waters also being the braintrust who actually claimed this week that "sequester" would kill 170 million American jobs!).  So whatever ya do, don't show the leftists that damn pesky National Debt Clock! (Link to story below).

After all, they, along with the two worst presidents of my lifetime (Obama  and W Bush) and an often complicit gop-er party over the past 13 years, are directly responsible for the unforgivable and ever-growing $16.5 trillion national debt from which we are unlikely to ever fully escape.

But hey, if I was responsible for threatening the very well-being of myriad future generations of Americans, I probably wouldn't want to be reminded of that fact either.  Maybe Obama can just furlough away the Debt Clock in the "sequester"?

http://dailycaller.com/2013/02/26/democrats-complain-about-presence-of-debt-clock-on-capitol-hill/#ixzz2M3fq0vz3

Sequester Pester: Sorry Obama, But Most Americans Have "Cliff Fatigue," Don't Care, and Are Paying Little Attention to Your Latest Contrived Fiscal "Crisis"...

Why would I pay much attention to it? No one else is (despite the best efforts of banner lead stories from the likes of the Kansas City Star, NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, etc., etc.). One poll from recent days (link below) found that "barely one in four Americans said they'd heard much about the automatic spending cuts" known as "sequester" and set to take effect starting March 1.

The cuts reportedly amount to only 2.5% of the huge annual federal budget deficit this year (meaning they would cut merely into the additional spending scheduled to be added to such deficit) and are but a microscopic drop of piss in an Alabama shithouse towards a balanced annual budget -- let alone any impact on the massive $16.5 trillion national debt.

By all accounts, Obama (whose idea the "sequester" was in the first place in 2011) has been almost exclusively focused in recent weeks on politicking and trying to blame the "sequester" on gop-ers before the fact and trying to scare people about its impact, instead of spending even an ounce of time on trying to reach a deal with gop-ers to avert the automatic spending cuts.

But most Americans, it seems, are growing tired of these "sky is falling," so-called "crises" every several months from Obama and are paying little attention. And good for them. Typically what results from these "crises" is very little or no actual cuts in spending, coupled with punting debt issues down the road.

And regardless of whether "sequester" comes to fruition or is averted, we'll have the same result again:  Nothing in the way of meaningful spending cuts. So at the end of the day: I couldn't care less what happens on Friday. You may not even see me featuring "sequester" again as a main blog topic (tonight as the one and only). To repeat, sorry Barry: You're now really boring us over here.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/02/president-obama-faces-cliff-fatigue-in-latest-budget-fight/

Leading Geneticist This Past Week: "Human Intelligence Is Slowly Declining." But Frankly, I See No Evidence of Anything Like That...

Do you?

http://naturalsociety.com/leading-geneticist-human-intelligence-slowly-declining/

Rush Slimebaugh: "For the First Time I'm Ashamed of My Country." Why Don't We Leave "Country" Out of It, Partisan Ideologues?!?

And I'm talking about both sides. Just recall Michelle Obama's famous (and more than once repeated) line that she was never proud of her country until 2008.  But the USA -- the greatest country in which to live in human history -- ain't the problem nor the proper target here...

Rather leftist 20 percenter and right-winger ideologue freaks like Slimebaugh and the first lady are the issue. Put another way, if you want to be ashamed of something, be ashamed of our rotten, corrupt political system and the skunk politicians and talking heads on both extremes (the "bases" of the two rat-bait parties) who inhabit and prop that system up.

That type of shame is not merely excusable, but actually very much warranted and advisable. It's a shame I've held for a long time when it comes to our political system.

But alas, after several decades on this planet, I've come to realize there's very little I can do to change that same sleazebucket system. But no matter. That just gives me all the more motivation never to shut my mouth about it.

http://www.politico.com/story/2013/02/limbaugh-sequestration-ashamed-of-my-country-87920.html

Political Skunks Eating Their Own: "Tea Party Group Pictures Rove as Nazi"! Now How Long Before This Gives Leftists Ideas?

I think I've now officially seen it all after seeing this story (link below) Tuesday:  Partisan ideologue slimeballs, apparently no longer content with simply calling everyone else Hitlers, Nazis and Stalins, have now taken to hitting up their own membership with this sort of vile foolishness!

After the right-winger tea party's blast towards gop-er sleazebucket Rove this week, I'm fully expecting leftist 20 percenters to soon get in on the act by tossing a few Hitlers and Stalins (as they love to do in general) at some of their own democrat party members. Just for good measure, maybe they can even fit in a few sophomoric "racist" accusations while they're at it?

And why not attack your own in addition to everyone else, after all? They're there, aren't they? Or so goes, I would assume, the partisan ideologue mentality (regardless of side).

I'm left to posit little more than this: These people are sick. They need help. Just don't ever look to me for any, you creeps.

http://www.politico.com/story/2013/02/tea-party-group-pictures-karl-rove-in-nazi-uniform-87793.html

"Illegal Immigrant Tells Congress Not to Call Him Illegal." I've GOT to Try Using That One!

This illegal immigrant dude from last week (link below) has given me a great idea...

After receiving nearly countless speeding tickets from my years out on the streets and open road (including two more just in very recent months), I'm going to take a page from this illegal immigrant the next time a cop sticks his big snout in my window and asks for the ol' license and registration...

"Hey copper, so I may have been going 88 in a 70, but don't call me a speeder," I intend to bark at said fuzz.  Yeah, that's the ticket (in more ways than one).

And if the fool then tries to write me up, I'm gonna threaten to sue his flatfoot ass for discrimination against lawbreaking speed demons, as well as for hate speech ("speeder").

You see: You can learn a lot from an illegal immigrant.



http://www.washingtontimes.com/blog/inside-politics/2013/feb/13/illegal-immigrant-tells-congress-not-call-him-ille/

Now THIS Is a Makeover! And Can I Get the Contact Info on Pepper's Makeover Artist So I Can Send It Along to Some Political Slimeballs?

For months late last year and early this year, I knew her only as "Pepper" -- the grotesque, yet personable little lunatic on FX's "American Horror Story: Asylum."  Yes, Pepper could get down on the dance floor (see the "Name Game" music video from "Asylum"/link below), but she sure was a bit of a frightful freak to look at. Leastways, that is, 'til Pepper Got Pizzazz...

The photos above and linked story below reveal that since the end of Asylum's filming, Pepper (actress Naomi Grossman) has undergone one of the most miraculous makeovers since Alice Brady turned into cousin Sergeant Emma on the "Brady Bunch."

And now I want a little taste for myself. Just enough to wet my beak over here. I want to know the name of Pepper's makeover artist and want to pass along said artist's Outlook Contact or business card to others similarly in need. It's just my helpful nature.

I mean, just in the sleazy political world, you've got plenty of gruesome trolls long overdue for a good makeover: We're talking, just by way of example, the loutish likes of (1) literal greaseball Ted Cruz (gop-er senator), (2) multi-chinned Mitch McConnell (gop-er senate minority leader), (3) Captain Kangaroo offspring David Axelrod (Obama's rather hideous hatchet man), and (4) the notorious Anthony's Weiner (whose still-aspiring political career itself needs a complete makeover), just to name a few.

But I'm officially reserving the first politician makeover to an individual who perhaps needs it the most: A peculiarly slippery creature who needs a new hairdresser even more than Rihanna apparently needed a bath. Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the pathological, hypocritical, and always unbearable -- Patty "Wasserman" Simpson!





http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2277817/American-Horror-Storys-Naomi-Grossman-unrecognisable-smoulders-new-photo-shoot.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_855559&feature=iv&src_vid=3e37NtAYb5g&v=5MG4UnjnI_k

If You Missed Obama's State of the Union Last Night, I Gots Ya Covered Over Here...

Here's a quick summary (and, truth be told, about all you need to know) from Obama's latest February snooze-fest:

"I," "me," "my," "mine," "fair share," "fairness," "balanced approach," "revenue," "reckless cuts," "deficit reduction alone," "progress," "reform," "invest in growth," "corporate profits," "wealthiest Americans," "the wealthiest and the most powerful," "the well-off and the well-connected," "billionaires," "grow the middle class," "roads and bridges," "guns," "thank ya honey," "climate change," "heatwaves, droughts, wildfires and floods," "Green energy," "unfinished task," "finish the job," "Executive Order," "If Congress won't act, I will," blah blah blah, blah blah...

There you have it. So many fresh, new transformational ideas last night. Ya know, after three years of actually (and for no good reason) doing full-length blog posts following these late-winter leftist laugh-a-thons by Obama, why would I bother again? I thought I'd just go ahead and rest on my laurels (why do people always say you can't do that?).

Plus, it was such a better use of my time last night just to take in this SOTU crap as background noise, like so many bad TV shows. And not for nothing, but I did have better things to do Tuesday night. The weekly supermarket flyers had just come in the mail. And the shithouse was much overdue for a good cleaning.

Deranged: In Advance of State of the Union Address, Obama Claims "Job of Debt Reduction Nearly Done"!

If that piece of work is truly "nearly done," it gives a whole new meaning to the concept of a half-ass effort. But regardless of whatever incredibly disingenuous, demented spin Obama and his fellow leftist democrat party minions try to put on the issue, the facts here are pretty simple:

-The national debt has exploded during Obama's presidency and now stands at $16.5 trillion.  (It stood around $10.6 trillion when Obama took office thanks to almost equally reckless spending by that idiot, W Bush -- something which Obama back then actually called "unpatriotic").

-Obama's federal government has been running annual budget deficits of $1-1.5 trillion every single year, with no end in sight.  That means adding $1-1.5 trillion to the national debt every year going forward.

-Obama has done nothing to change this course or to try to make some reasonable headway towards a balanced annual budget, let alone any actual reduction in the accumulated national debt.  He couldn't care less.

-Obama's democrat party-controlled Senate hasn't bothered to pass a budget since 2009.

-When Obama and the leftists talk about "debt reduction," they typically mean this: "Well, there was supposed to be such-and-such amount of large spending increases in the years to come, but thanks to us, the spending increases won't be quite as large as they were supposed to be!"  They call that "debt stabilization." Please.

Don't listen to this crap. When Obama likely says something similar in his State of the Union tonight, feel free just to laugh at him.  That always seems to work well for me.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/obama-job-of-debt-reduction-nearly-done/2013/02/11/3e5b8008-7458-11e2-95e4-6148e45d7adb_story.html

So: "Marco Rubio to Deliver gop Response to State of the Union Address in Spanish," While Obama to Deliver the Main Address Tomorrow in Leftist. I Gots to Thank 'Em Both...

...Since either way, I won't be understanding a word of it.

Gives me a great excuse to pay absolutely no attention and instead focus efforts on much more constructive pursuits tomorrow night...

Like servicing the wood chipper, or hitting the shithouse for an extended stay.

Still, though, I may (or may not) still watch.  Will probably largely turn on whether both Obama and the right-winger provide me with an interpreter. 

http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/06/rubio-to-deliver-state-of-the-union-rebuttal/

Dicey Ding Dongs: "Doctors Warn of Worrying Rise in DIY Penis Implants" Using Dice & Other Household Objects! How (Non) Hard Up Would You Have to Be?

I've seen Do-It-Yourself ding-a-lings before, but this takes the tallywhacker (link below). Why they're at it, maybe these guys can also give themselves a DIY heart procedure, some amateur head-and-neck surgery, and maybe even a little homespun frontal lobotomy for good measure?

The linked story (which warns of the risk of fatal infections -- glad they let us know) says these nimrods have been using such objects as "dominoes" and "toothpaste caps, buttons, dice and deodorant roller balls" to try to plus-size the ol' peter.

"Dice," BTW?  I'm sure the old lady really appreciates that one!  There's a reason why they don't sell a Rubik's Cube dildo down at the sex shop, after all (they don't, right?).  Blockheads.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2273323/Doctors-warn-worrying-rise-DIY-penis-implants-lead-fatal-infections.html#axzz2Jygg5BrA

"Smelly French Family" Given the Boot from Paris Museum When French Patrons Complain of the Awful Stench! But Wait a Damn Minute: FRENCH People Complaining About ANYONE's Stench?!?

This one represents a new low (link to story below) even by French standards. Sure, the French will surrender at the drop of a girlish-lookin' hat...

Sure, they're a bunch of snobs for no good reason, even when their greatest contribution to American culture comes in the form of fried strings of potatoes drenched in saturated fat.

And boy, they sure do stink on the whole (or so I've heard). Pepe Le Pew!

But now add to the list a new description of the French after this new incident at the Musee d'Orsay Museum in which French people actually fingered other French people for their putrid body odor!: Hypocrites.

At least us Kraut-Micks don't go around casting stones at others for getting all liquored up regularly, eating corn beef, cabbage and wiener schnitzel all the time, or blowing their stacks at the drop of a hat. Jeezal Peezal.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/9834828/Smelly-French-family-ordered-to-leave-Musee-dOrsay.html

Saved By the Boobs: 80s Teen Sitcom Broad Tiffani Amber Thiessen Garners Huge Page Views for New Sexy Spread on Tumblr.Com. But She Was Never the ONE I Had the Hots For...

Just take a look above at this late-30s-something hot little number Tiffani Amber Thiessen, from her new appearance on Tumblr.com's "Me and My Place" blog -- which searches out D-through-Z-list celebrity hotties to show in scantily clad attire within their own homes (purportedly "without makeup," but I ain't buying that one)...

Tiffani Amber Thiessen, the daughter of the NFL's Boomer Esiason and niece to Boomer's old man, Joe Theismann (after he changed the pronunciation of his name), is of course the actress who played Kelly Kapowski (she never looked Polish, although I get the "Ka-Pow" part) on late 80s/early 90s sitcom, "Saved By The Bell"...

The linked video below (provided by St. Louis' Brad Choat) explains that Miss Tiffani Amber's new pics have become some of the hottest and most viewed ones in the history of Tumblr and "My Place"...

Which only goes to show, huge hordes of Generation X males (and likely, females) are still out here who have always lusted after the young hot tail (about their same age, truth be told) that they watched back in the day on "Saved By the Bell."

Regardless, as mentioned in my headline above, it was never Tiffani Amber who got me going.  Nope.  I had a Big Thing for one Lisa Turtle (see below), played by the (back-then) ultra-hottie, Lark Voorhies.  And to think, Lark never needed a big huge Boob Job to gain attention.  B-U-S-T-ed, Tiffani!

http://video.foxnews.com/v/2137271311001/florida-community-grieves-after-12-year-olds-suicide/?playlist_id=903226511001