"Man Buys 17-Pound Lobster at Restaurant, Releases It Into Sea." This Story Inspired Me Today...

...So I bought a couple of Monster Thickburgers down at the local Hardees joint, and then I tossed one of them out in a cattle pasture on the outskirts of town.  It really gives one a warm feeling inside, being ecologically friendly.

http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Man-Releases-17-Pound-Lobster-from-Restaurant---163682766.html

Postscript: I might have instead grabbed some Chick-fil-A and then made a beeline for the nearest chicken coop, but patronizing Chick-fil-A just ain't politically correct these days.  (Or put another way, I'm just not much of a chicken sandwich dude, truth be told).

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-07-25/news/ct-met-chicago-chick-fil-a-20120725_1_1st-ward-gay-marriage-ward-alderman

"I Love Abusing This Kid!" Is This Connecticut Broad the Worst Mom EVER After Allegedly Documenting Her Extensive Abuse of Her Toddler Daughter in Videos and Texts?

As Bad Parent Month continues on TIR, I can't imagine the sort of subhuman slime would do and say some of these things to a 10-month-old kid. Maybe the sort of scuzball who would wear a "The Best Things In Life Are Expensive" T-Shirt? (Links to full story at bottom)...

This sleazy lout (allegedly) is 20-year-old Kellie Park of West Haven, Connecticut (Facebook and mug pics above and below; the infant in question in not pictured).  She was arrested earlier this month after her little daughter's Old Man turned over an assortment of videos and texts to the cops which allegedly show Mama repeatedly going to town on the little tot.  Actually, that's an understatement:

-At one point, Mama's allegedly says about the kid, "I'll fucking break her face in!"

-At another point, Mama reportedly rejoices and takes heart in the fact that "I love abusing this kid!"

-Mama's also allegedly heard "yelling at the baby to eat stuff off the floor" like some sort of domesticated pet.

-And apparently the kid eating anywhere but from the floor was a big issue with Mama, since the videos also purportedly show Mama "throwing food at the baby while she is still in her high chair."

-After that awful treatment, the video allegedly shows Mama next putting the tike in a crib, "which she then proceeds to shake until the baby falls out."

-At another juncture, Mama allegedly kicks a big gate on top of the crying little girl -- just for good measure, apparently.

But good news for now, as the kid's been taken away from Mama, who faces charges of "assault, cruelty to persons, and risk of injury and threatening."  Here's hoping that Mama's next Facebook pose sports a nice bright orange set of new threads.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/connecticut-mom-kellie-park-arrested-abuses-infant-sends-videos-torment-dad-article-1.1102634
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2165681/I-love-abusing-kid-Mother-videoed-assault-torment-month-old-baby-sent-childs-father.html

"Mysterious Goat Man" in Utah Confirmed (By Authorities) to NOT Actually Be Part Goat. Boy That's a Real Load Off...

Apparently this has been quite the mystery out in Ogden, Utah in recent weeks (link at bottom):  A strange creature exhibiting both man-like and goat-like traits and tendencies while he milled around amongst a herd of wild goats up in the Wasatch Mountains...

Well, mystery solved this week, reportedly:  State wildlife cops say the odd beast is really just a male hunter decked out in a "goat suit," fleece and all (where does a person go about finding such a suit, anyway?). (None of your business why I'm askin'). 

Cops also confirm that the man is 100% human and not at all (or in any part) goat -- not even in a 1/32 Elizabeth Warren hokey ancestry claim sort of way. 

So as for his story, this non-Giles Goat-Boy in Utah reportedly told cops he was just "testing out" the goat suit because he wanted to "prepare for an archery hunt of mountain goats next year." Course, that goes nowhere towards explaining why he felt compelled to root around within a pack of wild goats while sporting said suit.

And if you're planning to participate in a hunting season on a particular animal, wouldn't disguising yourself as the animal perhaps be the last thing you'd ever want to do?

But I maybe I'm being a little hard on the goat boy. As an anonymous "agitated" caller implored cops last week, "Leave goat man alone. He's done nothing wrong."

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/07/24/mysterious-goat-man-identified-as-hunter/?test=latestnews
http://lasvegas.cbslocal.com/2012/07/24/goat-man-in-utah-mountains-identified-as-hunter/

Almost Four Years into Obama Presidency, a New Poll Shows 18% of Likely Voters Blame Bush for the Rotten State of the Economy...

...In case some wonder what I mean when I use the phrase that I coined, "leftist 20 percenter"...

http://thehill.com/polls/239377-the-hi

Drunk Meth-Head Mayor in Missouri (Allegedly) Pisses Away Taxpayer Dollars Down at the Strip Club: But Give Me This Cat Any Day Over the Politicians in Washington...

OK, so maybe he drinks a little too heavily and then gets behind the wheel. OK, so maybe he's a meth addict. OK, so maybe he uses a city credit card to run up thousands of dollars in tabs down at the local strip joint.  At least dude's so involved in his extracurriclar activities that he has no time to screw up the business of government. I say we run this crazy freak for president!

His name is Nathan Grellner (pictured above), and he's the mayor of Valley Park, Missouri. And the Mayor's reportedly been very busy lately. Just not with his mayoral duties (link at bottom)...

I mean, this guy's been out there partying like a damn rock star (allegedly)!  To wit:

-Last month the Good Mayor checked himself into the hospital, claiming exhaustion. Turns out, however, that he was reportedly there to be treated for methamphetamine abuse.

-Two days earlier, he was hospitalized after being arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated and resisting arrest. But he was allegedly able to escape police custody by fleeing the hospital when no one was lookin'!

-The Mayor is also in hot water for allegedly using his city credit card to charge up thousands of dollars at the aforementioned strip joint (often when he was supposed to be at public meetings). But those charges were just for starters...

-He also allegedly used the card to buy a $2,500 washer and dryer, a $575 Bosch shop vacumm, and also a "miter saw and hammer drill" to renovate his home.

-Then, apparently being famished by that flurry of activity, this Mayor McCheese allegedly ran up $2,000 more in charges at local restaurants, ranging from grub at McDonald's to $80 in eats down at the local TJ Wings joint.

But at least for the credit card business, the Mayor does have a defense. Or, at least, I guess you could call it that. He says he mixed up the city credit card with his own credit card (apparently over and over again) because he "was 'not in a state of mind' where he could distinguish between the two."

For his efforts, the Mayor is now facing a vote of no confidence -- which I find to be a bit short-sighted. Since oftentimes, the very BEST kind of politician is the one that you can't count on to do much of anything.

http://stlouis.cbslocal.com/2012/07/13/more-problems-for-the-mayor-of-valley-park/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2173114/Mayor-exposed-METH-ADDICT-escape-custody-following-drug-driving-arrest-spent-city-money-strip-clubs.html

Dumb Control: Colorado "Dark Knight" Movie Theater Massacre Garners the Pat, Predictable, Exploitive Response from American Leftists & Their "Mainstream" Media...

It's as predictable as the sun coming up in the morning.  Whenever one of these sub-human slimes like James Holmes goes on a shooting rampage, the leftist 20 percenter reaction (typically almost instantaneously) is always the same, always involves political exploitation of a terrible tragedy, and is always two-fold: (1) Try hard to blame the murder spree on gop-er right-wingers; and (2) Even if that fails -- Gun Control, Baby!

And that's precisely what we saw today.  First, there was the attempt by ABC News to tie this creep Holmes to the right-winger tea party.  The reporter, Brian Ross (a decent reporter in general who tends to embarrass himself whenever he sticks his snout into political angles), pointed out that a Colorado tea party member is named James Holmes.  Only problem? So are a lot of people, and the scum who murdered the 12 people at the movie theater was not the tea party "James Holmes."  Ouch.  ABC News was later forced to issue an apology.

So when Avenue #1 didn't exactly pan out too well (what, wasn't Sarah Palin available?), there's always reliable #2, i.e. widespread calls from the leftists and their media today for "national reflection" and a new "national debate" on gun control.  Now, while gun control is a very legitimate issue on which I often find myself somewhere between the leftists and the right-wingers, it has very little (if any) relevance to a situation when some skunk-wad like Holmes decides he's going murder a bunch of people.  It's pretty simple:  A calculating sleazebucket like Holmes determined to go on a first degree murder spree is likely going to get a hold of his guns no matter how many "gun control" measures you have on the books.

And another thing:  Where are these calls for gun control from the leftists when there hasn't just been some gunman massacre?  Nowhere.  The leftists (most namely, their politicians) frequently go around avoiding the gun control issue like it was the plague since they perceive it as a non-winning, unpopular issue for them.  Now there's some real courage and conviction for ya!  But much like some drunk old man hittin' on the younger ladies down at the bar on Friday night, the leftists sure manage to work up that courage once some scuzjob whacks out some folks.  Pretty pathetic, predictable, and putrid.

http://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2012/07/abc-news-tea-party-connection-incorrect-129588.html
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2012/07/20/CNN-Explots-Batman-Tragedy
http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2012/07/20/salman-rushdie-sparks-furor-with-colorado-shooting-tweets/?mod=e2tw 
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0712/78756.html

"Michelle Obama's Luxury Weekend Ski Trip Cost Taxpayers at Least $83,000." But Ann Romney Rides a Horse, Damn It!

Obama's minions have been spending millions in TV ads recently trying to portray King Flipflopper gop-er presidential nominee Mitt Romney and his wife Ann as being rich, aloof figures who are out of touch with the American people. Featured, for example, is Ann Romney's love of riding horses (Can't have that! How so completely aristocratic!)...

And truth be told, I don't feel much connection to the filthy-rich, say-anything Romney (and don't intend to vote for him), whom I would not exactly describe as being overly connected-in with the average Joe out there on the street.  I credit his lifelong financial success -- but, you see, that sort of wealth (we're talking quarter of a billion, folks) makes it nearly impossible for a man to be overly in tune with Harry the Shoe Cobbler down in the trailer park.

But someone please tell me how in the holy hell Barack Obama and wifey Michelle are any damn different!!!  Obama doesn't have Romney's level of wealth, but he's still worth at least a cool $10 million.  And when he's not attending seemingly never-ending Hollywood fundraisers, the Ivy League "academic" Obama (whom I also will not be voting for) spends taxpayer money like it's going out of style on his far leftist agenda...

Meantime, wifey Michelle spends like a drunken sailor any time she leaves DC.  We've seen her extravagant vacations over the past four years (e.g., link at bottom concerning the new final tally on her February skiing excursion), not to mention her completely tone-deaf penchant for spending big money on taking a different Air Force One than hubby so that she can meet him a few hours later at the latest vacation destination.

Tossing away that kind of taxpayer jack (whether it be on policy or pleasure) in unending terrible economic times does not smack of two people in touch with the rest of us in any way or with whom we should feel any kind of connection -- that BE the Obamas.  But also not a whole hell of a lot unlike Mitt and Ann Romney, sans the spendthrift insanity.

Ultimately, either of these two couples trying to claim they're more in-touch and "ordinary" than the other one is very much akin to a skid row wino claiming moral superiority over a passing hobo.  It rings hollow. And many of us just ain't buyin' it, "Mr. President."  But go ahead and spend your millions. Since that's what you're best at.

http://dailycaller.com/2012/07/18/michelle-obamas-luxury-weekend-ski-trip-cost-taxpayers-at-least-83000/

Honest Obama Deserves a Few (Belated) Kudos After Spouting: "If You've Been Successful, You Didn't Get There on Your Own . . . If You've Got a Business, You Didn't Build That!"

Like most of the leftist "mainstream media," I largely ignored these quotes from Obama when I first saw them over the weekend. (After all, I already had a Monday post written about other foolishness that Obama's been spewing.)  But the story's sort of taken on a life of its own this week as the gop-ers have been hammering His Majesty over his above-quoted (off-prompter) comments -- which get at Obama's world view that federal government is (or should be considered to be) at the very heart of almost everything in life and should get most of the credit for (in the form of always higher taxes from) any individual who has success in the private sector.

So since everyone's talking about it, I suppose I'll weigh in.  But not to blast Obama all over the block. I credit his honesty (if half facetiously), since he rarely has any, and he's one of the most talented leftist 20 percenter politicians in history at hiding what he truly believes...

Obama's inane quotes from over the weekend -- apart from showing the very sophomoric, petty and condescending nature of his personality ("I'm always struck by people who think [their success] must be because I was just so smart!"; who talks like that!) -- really demonstrates little more than the fact that he's a far leftist.  Gosh, like there's something new about that!

I just wish Obama would show some of this honesty a little more often.  Dude's such a damn leftist bore most of the time.  (He does make me laugh, but for all the wrong reasons).  Besides, politicians who entertain me do score brownie points with this Independent. And few things do I find more entertaining than a radical politician or other individual lettin' us all know how he really feels!

http://www.washingtontimes.com/blog/watercooler/2012/jul/15/picketvideo-obama-if-youve-got-business-you-didnt-/

I Heard Absolutely Disturbing Stats in a News Report Monday Night About Startling Increases in the Rate of Unwed Mothers in the American Black Community Over the Past 70 Years. We Need Independent-Minded Solutions...

The stats I heard (going from memory) were a 19% rate of African American children being born to an unwed mother in the 1940's, as compared with about 25% in the early-to-mid-60s, as compared with over 70 percent today.

Where are the leftist "mainstream media" and their right-winger blogosphere counterparts ever talking about these kinds of terrible stats?  The silence is deafening.  And that's very much to their discredit, since the fastest way for any kid of any race or nationality to go down the wrong path in life is to have the presence of only one parent in his/her life.  Even if marriage doesn't follow a pregnancy, a presence by both parents in the life of the child is completely essential.

Getting back to these tragic and sorrowing numbers in the African American community:  I don't purport to have the answer, to say that there are easy solutions, or even to claim that I've given the issue a great deal of thought in the past.  But I know this:  This is a dire issue that needs serious-minded people of good will to tackle.

What this issue does not need are right-wingers and leftist 20 percenters coming anywhere near it with all of their doctrinaire, extremist, ultra-divisive, partisan Bullshit ('cause guess what, it ain't workin'!) -- their BS always being spewed out of political interests first and foremost, incessantly placed far ahead of doing any sort of good and right for decent human beings in this country.

Obama Says that By Not Supporting His Push to Raise Taxes on People Making Over $250,000, "republicans Are Not Serious About Reducing the Deficit" -- a Quote that in Obama's Beloved Hollywood Circles...

...would be a lot like Lindsay Lohan telling Charlie Sheen that he's not serious about reducing the amount of blow he snorts up his snout.

You know, I largely stopped getting upset at Obama a year or more ago.  Anymore, I just laugh (literally, and out loud) at most of the things that come out of his mouth.  He's that insulting even to my rather modest level of intelligence (yet also comical, in a gallows sort of way).

But even if he knew that I laugh at him, I wonder if he could really care less? Doubt it. After all, to Obama and the modern incarnation of the democrat party, people like me are an anachronism:

I'm in the middle class. I work. In the private sector. Not in a minority. Not in a union.  Not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).  Have no need for free contraceptive or abortion services. Shit, I don't even play golf! I guess Obama and I could chat about the weather, but what the hell else are we gonna talk about?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/obama-gop-not-serious-about-deficit-reduction/2012/07/13/gJQAMwLKiW_video.html

"dems, gop Bash Olympic Outfits" & Are "Equally Upset." But No Bashing Over Here: I'll Take Those Outfits Any Day...

From this week's Politico.com comes a story (link at bottom) about loony leftist 20 percenters in the democrat party and deranged right-wingers in the republic partisan party purportely being "equally" outraged over the new U.S. Olympic team uniforms designed by Ralph Lauren and the fact that those uniforms were made in China. (Slimeball Harry Reid, for example, called for all the new outfits to be "burned").  But hold on one damn second over here...

By my way of thinking, if you've got ANY issue (and there are never many) on which both the leftists and the gop-ers can agree and which throws both of their rotten, pathetic political parties into a hissy fit, then you probably want to seriously consider being on the opposite side from them on that issue.  Or, more simply put, when the creeps on both sides passionately agree on something, I get nervous.

So, despite my somewhat unfavorable initial reaction upon first getting a gander at these new outfits, I've now flip-flopped faster than Mitt Romney and Barack Obama on a Missouri boat ride.  I'm even using Creature Pelosi's favorite word and am dropping any "robust" opposition that I might've otherwise had to the made-in-China angle.

And I'm thinking our American athletes are going to look real spiffy with them white britches, double-breasted navy jackets and funny little hats.  You Go, Olympic athletes!  And thank you, as well, in the process for pissin' off all the damn partisans.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0712/78445.html

Country Singer Luke Bryan Blasted by Right-Wingers for Reading National Anthem Lyrics Off His Hand at MLB All-Star Game in Kansas City: Better Shoot Him!

Bryan reportedly wrote the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner on his hand as a sort of crude crib-sheet so that he wouldn't forget any words.  The Twitter and other online reaction from deranged right-wingers (link at bottom) has not been positive, as Bryan reportedly received widespread "major criticism."  For example:  "Unpatriotic!", many of them exclaimed.  Said another: "He needs to learn respect and remember the lyrics!"  Yesterday, Bryan apologized.  Two reactions as I saw this story:

1.  Having watched Bryan's rendition on Tuesday night:  Upon seeing nothing but the headline on this story ("Singer Luke Bryan Apologizes for National Anthem Controversy"), the first thing that occurred to me (seriously) was that the "controversy" must relate to the extremely tight-fittin' jeans he wore that night.  Dude looked positively silly.  Like he'd just fallen out of a bad episode of "Seinfeld" (if such a thing exists).  I hadn't even noticed that he was apparently looking at his hand during the performance.

2.  I really couldn't care less that he was cribbin' the lyrics.  Better that than to screw 'em up.  How many freaks over the years (sometimes intentionally, but usually not) butcher the national anthem in one way or other, including forgetting or tripping all over the words.  If anything, I think it's a sign of Bryan's "respect" for the song and its performance that he cared enough to make sure he didn't stink up the joint by mangling up the words.  So as usual:  S-T-F-U, right-wingers.  We'd all be so much better off if you and the leftist 20 percenters would not go away mad, but just go away.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/07/singer-luke-bryan-apologizes-for-national-anthem-controversy/#.T_4DfUCMmLw.email

I'd Hate to be the Prosecutor: "Warlock" Puts "Hex" on Anyone Wishing Ill Will Towards His Stripper Witch Niece, Who's Currently on Trial for Fatal DUI...

This is what happens when you get on the wrong side of the witch community, apparently. And I guess it makes perfect sense: You would expect that if you try to arrest a witch stripper, then she or one of her own kind is probably going to look to put a curse on your ass...

The Witchy Woman is 25-year-old Angelique Catherine ("A.C.") Griffin (pictured above and below) of Salem, Massachusetts (Where Else?!?) -- who, when she's not casting spells as a witch or getting buck naked as a stripper down at DB's Golden Banana Gentlemen's Club -- apparently likes to get her drink on with friends.

That's what reportedly let her to down some vodkas and beers before getting behind the wheel a few weekends back to drive her and boyfriend Dillon Renard home.  Cops say that the car slammed into a flat bed truck, and that Renard was "impaled on impact and died in the passenger seat."


Now charged with DUI and motor vehicle homicide in the fatal crash, this stripper witch is reportedly trying to establish a brand new "stripper" defense within the realm of American DUI jurisprudence, claiming the crash only happened because dead boyfriend "would not stop trying to fondle her as she drove" -- like he was some kind of demented TSA agent or something.

But the witch stripper and her shaky defense are not without their supporters, including a "coven of witches" who showed up at A.C.'s court appearance the week before last to offer up their full evil support.  That motley crew reportedly included the coven's official "Warlock" who just happens to be the stripper witch's uncle.

Uncle Warlock's support for witch stripper reportedly Uncle Festered itself in the form of a big "Hex" which he threw the way of anyone wishing any bad will towards stripper witch in connection with the dead boyfriend incident.  Now, while I might otherwise cry jury tampering over here, I'd prefer to stay on the Warlock's good side if you don't mind.

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1061139876&srvc=rss
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2161820/Salem-witches-support-stripper-arrested-deadly-drunk-driving-crash.html

Tanked Tot? Phoenix Mom Tossed in the Can After Admitting to Pouring Booze in Her Two-Year-Old Son's Sippy Cup, and Letting Him Drink It, Down at the Local Pizza Parlor!

I've seen it plenty of times at pizza joints and other restaurants:  Out-of-control little shits going ape, ducking under booth tables, turning pirouettes, hanging from light fixtures, and just raisin' a ruckus generally.  Meantime, the parents just want to calm the wild little animals down...

But alas, some methods of chilling out a rotten little punk are probably a little more appropriate than others. Getting the tike all liquored up, for example -- maybe not the top option available.

Which brings us to one 36-year-old Arizona Mama named Valerie Topete (mug shot above; links at bottom).  Here this broad is just trying to enjoy her pie in peace down at the Peter Piper Pizza parlor, along with a big frosty pitcher of beer.  Only problem? Little two-year-old Sonny is acting up and "kept reaching for the beer pitcher."

But instead of simply reprimanding this 25-pound punk or telling him to keep his grubby paws to himself, Mama admits she tried to use a little "reverse psychology" (her description) by actually giving him what he wanted over there. Next thing you know, the toddler was swiggin' beer out his sippy cup like he was some sort of wartime sailor on R-and-R!

Unfortunately, however, the party came to a crashing conclusion when another patron called 911 "after seeing the child fall out of his chair, leading the witness to believe he might be intoxicated."

Upon arrival, cops used a little more direct psychology than Mama had, sending her booze-sharing ass straight to the Stir on suspicion of child abuse. No word yet whether or not cops at least allowed Mama & Sonny to polish off that pitcher first.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/beer-arizona-mother-arrested-allegedly-putting-beer-2-year-old-son-sippy-cup-article-1.1109070
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2169611/Mother-arrested-allegedly-pouring-beer-drinking-beaker-year-old-son.html

Can Ya Hear Me Now?: British Man Allegedly Goes Berzerk, Destroys T-Mobile Shop Which Wouldn't Give Him a Refund on His Mobile Phone Contract!

I guess the folks at this T-Mobile store had never heard the phrase, "the customer is always right."  That mantra sort of gravitates against "no refund" policies in the first place.  And ESPECIALLY if you're dealing with this dude (link to full story at bottom)...

Cops in Britain says he's 42-year-old Jason Codner of Manchester/Salford, and he apparently has precious little tolerance for mobile phone outlets that won't refund him his dough when he's dissatisfied with the service.  Citing to some provision in the fine print of his contract's Terms and Conditions, workers at the T-Mobile refused to give this cat his refund. And that's when all hell broke loose...

YouTube video of the incident first shows Codner's alleged rampage getting off the ground in glorious fashion, as this hotheaded phone man first took to hitting up the joint's bread and butter -- the mobile phones. Looks like from the video that Codner yanked down virtually every display rack and phone in the entire store!

He also allegedly "methodically ripped out wall fixtures" and "overturned tables" until finally spotting the perfect device to help him put a real exclamation point on this piece of work...

Specifically, the video shows Codner blasting off the joint's fire extinguishers like he was Steve McQueen traipsing around the Towering Inferno!  Reportedly, "the havoc continues for several minutes" from there until one worker finally got the bright idea to call the cops.

Now this extinguisher-blowing big man may have to have to put out his fire down at the local Stir for awhile, since cops have dialed UP charges against the deranged cell man that include causing criminal damage and using threatening behavior.  And Lord help that hoosegow if it tries to hit this guy up with any extra service charges during his bit.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2167727/Man-caught-camera-smashes-mobile-phone-shop-bizarre-rampage.html

Keeping It Real? British Mom & Family Lament that 14-Year-Old Daughter Might Buck Family Tradition by NOT Getting Big Fake Boobs!

Maybe she just wants to be the rack sheep of the family. But Mama and four of her daughters say that youngest daughter Britney Marshall (pictured above with 53-year-old Mama Chantal and the other daughters) is just "going through a funny phase at the moment." And for a 14-year-old girl like Britney, of course, that can mean a lot of things: Such as starting to take an acute interest in boys. Or not feeling much like doing her homework. Or being oblivious to extracurricular activities. Or even -- apparently -- not being overly interested in getting a big giant boob job.  The lack of motivation in teenagers these days!

You see, in the Marshall family (links to full story at bottom), getting a huge fake balcony is as much of a rite of passage, it seems, as graduating grade school, going on a first date, or getting a drivers license.  Mama and four of her daughters (see immediately below) have all enhanced their headlights at various times to the tune of racks ranging in size from 32DD to 34HH (see second from right below -- Good Grief!).  If you're keeping score at home, that adds up to "13 operations, nearly six pints of silicon," and almost $80,000 expended.

And now Mama and the sisters are reportedly putting the full-can press on young Britney to encourage her to start saving up for a honker job of her own.  For the moment, however, Britney is telling them to bust off, saying she "has absolutely no desire to have breast implants":

"I'm too young to be thinking about having a boob job -- I just want to work hard in school," said the 14-year-old rebel.  "I believe a girl should do what she wants and at the moment I don't want to get a boob job," added the stubborn little ingrate.  Mama ain't none too happy, neither. As UK's Daily Mail reports: "This disturbing state of affairs has left [Mama] Chantal, who had great hopes for her young child, wondering where she has gone wrong."

But Mama ain't quite ready to thrown in the proverbial trainer bra just yet.  First noting that Britney "doesn't really have what I would say are boobs," Mama says she's fully encouraging Britney "to follow in her sisters' footsteps" (shouldn't that be their "bra straps"?) by getting a nice big set of fake gazongas.  Reasons Mama:  "I really love the fake look of my [other] girls and I know Britney will go that way when she's a bit older."  No pressure, though -- really.

Apparently Mama will be patient, for now, just so long as as Britney gets her head (and fake melons) on straight in time to go out partying and to get the ol' drink on with Mama and the other girls.  Spouted Mama:  "Obviously at 14, Britney's too young to go out drinking. But we know it won't be long before she's coming out on the town with us. I can't wait!"  But the world can, Mama. And here's hoping Britney can too.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4407048/Mother-Chantal-Marshall-and-her-4-girls-have-13-boob-ops-now-she-wants-one-for-daughter-14.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2168513/Britney-Marshall-Meet-14-year-old-unlike-mother-sisters-refusing-breast-implants.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/05/britney-marshall-breast-implants_n_1650663.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News

Bummed Out: Don't Try Being a Hobo in China, Lest You Could Use Another Hole in Your Head (Not to Mention in the Back, Ass and Lower Extremities)...

Now this is a bona fide bummer:  As a Fourth of July follow-up, the "People's Republic" of China (as pictured at top and bottom; link below) is reportedly try to put a real dent (literally) in its hobo population by installing huge swaths of rather tortuous concrete spikes under public bridges where bums like to sleep.  That'll do the trick, methinks. 

With innovative new efforts like these to poke a hole in the tramp problem, maybe a more-deserving nation like China can borrow and put to more-appropriate use that otherwise offensive phrase from our American national anthem, "land of the free and home of the brave."  Thoughts, Bill Press?  (Although, I really shouldn't encourage the leftist 20 percenters like that).

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2168175/Are-lethal-concrete-spikes-stop-beggars-sleeping-city-bridges-REALLY-Chinas-best-option-stop-homeless-problem.html