Now THIS Was a Full Day at Work: Florida Hobo Allegedly Caps Off Multiple Heists by Hitting a Nudist Colony and Jackin' a Golf Cart There!

He was already wanted for allegedly knocking over a convenience store last month and giving his victim a severe beatin' with a Pepsi can.  And cops in Kissimmee, Florida, say that 20-year-old homeless man Milton Hodges was at it again last week when he used a pair of scissors in trying (unsuccessfully) to pull a heist at the local Lowe's home store. But last Wednesday's festivities were only getting started at that point (allegedly)...

Apparently frustrated with his bungled piece of work with the fully clothed Lowes' employees, this bum allegedly turned his sights to victims of the disrobed variety down at the area nudist colony (link at bottom).

Sans the Pepsi cans and classroom scissors, this tramp later in the day allegedly yanked out a big knife from his britches after breaking into the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort.  And I guess this vagrant ain't too discriminating when it comes to the rides he prefers to jack, since cops say the hobo swiped a golf buggy at knife-point inside said nudist colony.

Predictably, once the cops soon showed up, they found this vagabond fairly "easy to spot" since he was "one of the few people wearing clothes" around the joint (not to mention probably being the only fully-dressed hobo tooling around in a golf cart).

Cops tossed Hodges' wanderin' ass in the can, where he currently faces 10 charges from his "one-man crime spree" plus 28 months in the hoosegow from the Pepsi can incident (for which he was previously sentenced and had been on the run). But on the bright side of things: Homeless no longer. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2151232/Wanted-ex-breaks-nudist-resort-hijacks-golf-cart-knife-point-fleeing-failed-robbery-attempt.html

Stab By Your Man: Florida Woman Helps Prep Her Old Man for Upcoming Court Date By Allegedly Slashing Him with a Damn Seashell!

And least she did try to help him cope with his stress.  Cops in Port Saint Lucie, Florida say the boyfriend of 40-year-old local Patricia Weir (pictured above) was all stressed out last week over a date in court for allegedly beating the hell out of someone.  And what better way to blow off some steam that get one's drink on with the old lady, right? Well...

The coping couple reportedly hit the local bar and proceeded to get all liquored up.  Cops say that when the two finally got home, Weir was more sloshed than John Boehner at a Friday happy hour.  And maybe, just maybe, what this boozin' bambi had on her so-called mind was to further help the Old Man cope with his situation by preparing him for those hoosegow brawls in the event that court date don't go so well.

Regardless, cops say Weir blew her stack at the Old Man and first tried to bite his ear off!  And you can't get any decent Jailhouse Basic Tactics course off the ground without some shank training.  So Weir next allegedly grabbed a big seashell "with a pointed tip" and took to slicing and dicing the Old Man several times right in the shoulder! 

When the lesson was over, cops say Boyfriend "had a visible bite mark on his ear, scratches on his face and multiple puncture wounds on his shoulder."  And the Old Lady for her efforts may now get to try out her fight game in the can for real, since cops busted this seashell Sally for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon (said shell).  And Lord help them lady cons down there if they happen to have any stray seashells out in that prison yard.

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Woman-Attacks-Man-with-Seashell-Bites-Ear-Cops-152017175.html

They Wouldn't Let Her Bring Home the Bacon: GA Woman Allegedly Tries to Swipe Bacon & Booze from Piggly Wiggly, Then Goes Whole Hog on Store Worker!

She must've felt it would be like stealing acorns from a blind pig.  Cops in Georgia say 26-year-old Lonneshia Shafaye Appling (pictured above and below; links at bottom) tried the ol' "pig in a poke" shoplifting scheme down at the local Piggly Wiggly last week:  Appling allegedly stuffed a big canvas bag full of bacon, booze and assorted other items, but then presented only one item at check-out -- hoping no one would think to look inside her bag.  The best laid plans of muck and mire...

When 28-year-old checker Jonathan Orr asked what Porky had inside the bag, this 340-pound sowbelly babe allegedly hoofed it towards the exits as if she'd just spotted a BLT sandwich outside or something.  Orr gave chase, and that's when all hell broke loose (allegedly)...

First this big side of bacon Appling allegedly "pulled out some pepper spray" and proceeded to spray Orr right in the face with it!  And when other employees tried to intervene to save Orr's bacon, this big bacon rind Appling allegedly "kept on spraying."  If that don't beat a pig a-pecking!  But that was just for starters...

For good measure, Appling allegedly kept her bacon shakin' by taking a swipe at Orr and punching him right in the mush.  She then allegedly topped off this pork barrel piece of work by spitting on the pepper-sprayed Piggly Wiggly man.

As this battlin' bacon lady Appling finally made her way out the store, she was reportedly "dropping beer cans" right and left all over the damn parking lot!  Left in her wake, meantime, was a Piggly Wiggly store engulfed in "a choking cloud of pepper spray."

Cops say Appling really made a pig of herself in terms of the final tally of allegedly stolen items:  5 packages of bacon; 8 cans of Coors Light (she has to watch her figure, after all); 5 packages of cheese; a load of chicken wings; and vegetable oil.  But before this big bacon strip broad could so much as crack open a brew or toss a single piece of bacon in the frying pan, cops showed up and busted her bacon-lovin' behind on a bevy of assault and thievin' charges.  Talk about making a regular pig's ear of an otherwise decent heist.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2150243/340lb-shoplifter-attacked-Piggly-Wiggly-workers-pepper-spray.html
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/shoplifter-went-on-piggly-wiggly-rampage-789304

"Republicans Target Biden Over Gaffes," "Gleefully Suggest" Hillary as a Replacement: Are gop-ers More Nuts Than Bubba Posing with Porn Stars?

Joe Biden is an idiot.  A walking gaffe machine.  A poorly spoken Obama stooge.  And as reported this week on Politico.com (first link at bottom), his approval ratings are "under water."  So why in the HELL would the right-winger gop'ers want to upset that apple cart?  That would almost require a level of stupidity equal to or exceeding that of Biden himself, no?

Well, the gop-ers aren't lettin' that stop 'em!  Also in the Politico this week (second link at bottom) is a story about the republic partisans "targeting Biden over gaffes."  The half-baked effort has included the Romney campaign and republic partisan national committee spending "weeks tracking Biden's every move" and "highlighting the veep's penchant for verbal tumbles and miscues."

The first link below even says gop-ers are going so far as to "gleefully suggest [Hillary Clinton] as a possible ticket replacement" -- as "gleefully" as Bill Clinton hanging around with a pack of porn stars, apparently (Bubba's pic from this week below, with porn broads Tasha Reign and Brooklyn Lee).  But porn stars aside, when it comes to Hillary, better be careful whatcha wish for, you deranged right-wingers...

In my mind, Hillary Clinton on the ticket would virtually assure Obama's reelection, whereas it's only a slightly better than 50/50 proposition with Biden's sorry ass around.  Hillary remains a fairly popular character with non-leftist 20 percenter democrats (some of whom may be tempted to vote for Romney) and would appeal to many Independents (though not me), who currently poll decidedly in favor of Romney.  Plus many who were motivated in 2008 to vote for the first black president will be similarly motivated to vote for the first woman VP.

And if the republic partisans keep it up, they might just succeed in getting enough democrat party partisans and leftist bloggers (1) to start questioning Biden as a liability and (2) to start beating the Hillary drum, which would get Obama's attention. 

Now, while Obama does disdain Hillary -- such that I've previously said he and his historically huge ego would never put her on the ticket -- I think that may just be trumped by the fact Obama is also a cat whom I believe (first and foremost) will do or say anything to be reelected. And how ironic would it be if misguided gop-er Biden-bashing, and a resulting Hillary switcheroo, ultimately garners Obama that reelection?  Won't be anything "gleeful" in Goperville that day!

http://www.politico.com/blogs/burns-haberman/
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0512/76655.html
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/05/24/clinton-poses-with-porn-stars/

Dirty Deeds 101: If You Must Bang or "Bonk" Some Dude You're Not Married to in the Back of a Cab, Watch Out You Don't Do So in a "Strict Islamist State"!

Hey, I'm a big believer in the old "When in Rome..." cliche.  You wouldn't catch me traveling to Iran and making fun of that sick, twisted, deranged cartoon character of a "President" they have, Ahmadinejad.  You won't see me traveling to some right-wing or left-wing South American dictatorship and extolling the virtues of human freedom.  And you'll never find me gettin' drunk, engaging in a fistfight, and calling some dude a "Mick" in the Republic of Ireland (uh, wait, strike that).  Regardless, you get the point...

So someone needs to tell 29-year-old "busty" British businesswoman Rebecca "Becky" Blake (pictures above) to take care never to get caught falling down drunk, peeling off all one's clothes, and knockin' boots with some guy not her husband in the back of a damn taxi (allegedly) in Dubai -- a "strict Islamist state."  Ill-advised move, one could argue.

More on that in a moment (links to full story from UK's Sun and Daily Mail at bottom).  But first, just check out the day this broad engaged in leading up to her becoming a back-of-the-cab slab (allegedly).  Becky reportedly bought into a 10-Euro (probably like 12 or 13 American bucks) "all-you-can-drink" brunch at a Dubai hotel bar called "The Irish Village."  (Jeezal Peezal: Tank up in public for just $12-13? Maybe I do need to hit Dubai! But I digress).

And it was at said bar that Becky reportedly engaged in a 12-HOUR drinking binge with some Irish guy (why do the Micks keep coming into this sorry equation?), not her husband, named Conor McRedmond (you just can't make this shit up).  12 Hours? Talk about partyin' like a damn Rock Star!  (To quote Butch Cassidy: "I couldn't do that! Could you do that?!?).

So the brunch apparently being over around 11:00 p.m. (i.e, 12 hours later), what to do, what to do, I'm sure this happy couple was pondering.  Course, many such inebriated couples might have it in the back of their brains to do a beeline back to the ol' hotel for a little romp between the sheets.  But not these two sorry soaks (allegedly). They could not wait! . . . and were apparently just looking for the first padded surface they might happen to encounter (allegedly).

Therefore, when they hit the back seat of a cab they'd hailed out on the street, It Be On!!! (Allegedly).  Inside the taxi, Dubai cops say Becky Blake quickly changed her name to Buck Naked and started slammin' on the equally sloshed Mick (allegedly).

But I don't get this part:  The drunk-ass couple (allegedly) was only busted because the cab driver reportedly became "incensed by their behavior" and therefore actually pulled his rig over in order to rat out the dirty duo to the cops!  (I wasn't aware that the tea party had infiltrated the Dubai cab driver union -- damn right-wingers).  What a prude!  Has this man never watched  "Taxicab Confessions"?  Grumpy Gus should not raise such a fuss.

Finally, to circle back to the "When In Rome" wisdom:  Probably not the best idea to use a Taxi's cushion for the pushin' if you happen to be situated within the country called Dubai at that particular moment.  To wit:

-Becky faces up to three years in the Dubai hoosegow if convicted on charges of "having sex outside of marriage" and public drunkenness.  Apparently, they rather frown upon such endeavors in Dubai.
-Becky and The Mick were held in the can for five long days without bail for their alleged high offenses and were actually forced to give damn DNA samples to the cops, who are reportedly looking for an air-tight case of sex and drunkenness!
-Bail for this allegedly terrible tandem was only procured after multiple individuals agreed to guarantee as suretors that the couple would stick around Dubai.

And to think, for my past Irish transgressions, the most I ever faced was 30 days in the freezer lest I wanted to buck up a modest bribe. Compare that to Dubai, and I don't really care if 12 or 13 bucks there gets your full drink on -- I'll stick with the Republic (and my fellow Micks), thank you.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4321423/Busty-Becky-Blake-is-on-bail-over-a-bonk-in-back-of-a-Dubai-taxi.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2145142/Rebecca-Black-arrested-Dubai-having-sex-Conor-McRedmond-backseat-taxi.html

Look Out Now for a Leftist Lolo Lynching: Olympian Hottie Lolo Jones Has Audacity to Admit She's Saving Her Virginity for Marriage -- Can't Have That!

29-year-old Olympic medalist hurdler Lolo Jones tells HBO's "Real Sports" (an outstanding show, BTW) and reveals recently on Twitter that she's a virgin saving herself for marriage (link to full story at bottom).  It will be interesting to see how this plays out, but I officially predict a left-wing excoriation of Lolo faster than one can say you met her in a club down in old Soho.

That's because there is perhaps no more vile or politically incorrect term in the English language for American leftist 20 percenters than "abstinence."  And from a 29-year-old, no less?!?  Katy Bar the Damn Door Over Here!

The leftists will pounce en masse on just about any person with any kind of public profile (doubt if Olympic heroes get an exemption) who dares to utter the A-Word (either expressly or by implication).  And that's not just when it comes to the right-wingers who self-righteously preach abstinence as the only possible lifestyle decision that any decent, self-respecting human being could ever make... 

Nope, the leftists will attack like ticks in a Mississippi shithouse upon most any individual having the gall to use the A-Word at all, even if it's used in the entirely reasonable context of a parent advising a child (1) that any premarital sex should be accompanied by birth control and (2) that another option that's always out there is to wait for marriage.

The bottom line awful end-result that any parent is looking to avoid, of course, is an unwanted pregnancy in the form of an unwed daughter or as the responsibility of an unwed son.  To avoid that life-changing and oftentimes potential-and-future-sapping result in a young woman or young man, there is nothing more reasonable and American than a two-pronged advice approach that couples a discussion of contraception with the possibility of abstinence...

Reasonable approach, that is, except in the minds of a majority of those that inhabit the noisy, loony, and very powerful little leftist 20 percenter fringe that controls the American democrat party.  They'd rather censor the A-word from the English language if they could.  And that's why I fear very much the leftist repercussions that may now be coming the way of Ms. Jones.  Could be wrong (although rarely am I) -- and frankly hope I am in this instance.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/olympics-fourth-place-medal/lolo-jones-says-remaining-virgin-harder-training-olympics-171926254.html

The Mindless Partisan Ideologue Defined:N.C. Female High School Teacher "Tells Student He Could Be Arrested for Criticizing Obama (But Says Romney's Fair Game)"!

They are what I refer to as Zombies.  Group-thinkers.  Ditto-heads.  The Walking Brain Dead. Or, described simply, partisan ideologues.  And it makes no difference if they are on the far-left or far-right.  Because in their way of thinking, the rules don't apply to them. Rather only to the other side. And the conduct of their side is always defensible, even if they would (and/or have) attacked the other side for engaging in the very same pathetic behavior.

It's a sort of an unthinking, grade-school-level way of looking at the world which is completely foreign to me and which I could never embrace.  And to think, many of these same partisan ideologues are very smart and well-educated individuals in the abstract.  But Oh My God, they are SO brainwashed by their ideologies! I think I'll continue to think for myself, thank you.

And so it is that we reach this morbidly pathetic story out of North Carolina this week (link at bottom) that some leftist 20 percenter high school teacher (and Obama worshiper) reportedly told a student that to criticize Obama could get you thrown in the hoosegow, while criticizing stand-for-nothing, right-winger, gop-er Romney (that's my Copyrighted phrase for him, BTW) is perfectly OK, in contrast.  (Although I laughed aloud when I first read about this teacher, I really shouldn't laugh at the mentally deranged and Undead -- it's rather unbecoming of me).

Never mind that criticizing Obama is fully protected speech for high school students (AND all the rest of us) under the First Amendment (so long as they don't disrupt the educational environment).  Never mind that arresting someone for political expression is nearly unheard of in this country (since we do have that pesky piece of law called the First Amendment).

And never mind, of course, that I've yet to hear before of a piece of legal authority in this country that says it's OK to talk about one of our two rotten political parties just so long as you keep your ass quiet about the other one!  Maybe I was down in the student union playing cards the day they taught that lesson (?).

http://salisbury.wbtv.com/news/politics/73239-classroom-debate-over-obama-goes-viral
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2147382/Teacher-tells-student-arrested-saying-bad-Obama.html

How Ya Like THEM Onions: Tennessee Twosome Allegedly "Attacks" a McDonald's Restaurant for Going Light on the Onions!

Let me tell ya something:  If you happen to draw kitchen detail in the hoosegow with these two felony-facing Onionheads, watch out you don't shortchange 'em on them scallions!  Lest your wish is to take a masonry block to the mush or something (allegedly)...

They're 21-year-old Christopher Slate and 23-year-old Sean Mosey (pictured above) of Tennessee, and apparently these two wild Walla Wallas are really, really enamored with onions -- and I ain't talkin' the fleshy, fun bag variety.  The incident reportedly started off innocently enough (links at bottom), with these two chopped chaps spinning through a McDonald's drive-thru for some eats to take home while they got their drink on. If only it had stopped there...

Cops say that when these two funny onions whipped out them burgers, they received quite the maddening surprise -- not nearly enough onions to suit their Peruvian sweet tooth.  But instead of trying to return their food or to call the joint to complain, cops say these two leek lovers went home and pounded away on their beer, while gradually proceeding to get all "worked up" into a frenzy over the onion slight.

Apparently virtually foaming at the mouth over their "messed up" food order, these shit-faced shallots allegedly later jumped back in the ride and gave 'er the ol' onion right back to McDonald's.  Once there, cops say the oniony tandem waged an all-out blitzkrieg-style "attack" on the entire joint.

First Slate (reportedly by his own admission) grabbed a big piece of concrete  and slung it right through the pick-up window.  Next (he admits) he seized a damn brick and sent it sailing through the joint's front window.  When the carnage was all said and done, one employee at the drive-thru window reportedly got his arm all sliced up from the flying debris, while a manager got nailed right in the leg by a "concrete chunk."

A successful getaway, however, was reportedly thwarted when Mosey's sloshed ass suffered an "I've fallen and I can't get up" moment out in the street (so much for my theory that a falling crate of onions brought them bandages).  Now this peeled pair faces felony vandalism and endangerment charges.  Not the brightest bulbs in the vegetable garden, these two.

http://www.dnj.com/article/20120516/NEWS/305150029/Dispute-over-McDonald-s-cheeseburgers-leads-vandalism-arrests
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/tennessee/mcdonalds-cheeseburger-rage-859413

Got Pomposity? Obama Edits White House Website to Liken His "Accomplishments" to Those of Every Single American President Since Calvin Coolidge!

A funny (yet arguably fairly disturbing) story this week from Commentary Magazine, which reports that the Obama White House has edited the Profiles of American presidents on www.whitehouse.gov in order to insert so-called Obama "accomplishments" immediately after those of a whole long string of his presidential predecessors (link to full story at bottom). Say what, you query? To wit (examples from whitehouse.gov, with the Obama insertion in italics):

- Lyndon B. Johnson: "[He] signed Medicare into law in 1965 — providing millions of elderly healthcare stability. President Obama’s historic health care reform law ["ObamaCare"] strengthens Medicare, offers eligible seniors a range of preventive services with no cost-sharing, and provides discounts on drugs when in the coverage gap known as the 'donut hole.'"

- Ronald Reagan: "In a June 28, 1985 speech Reagan called for a fairer tax code, one where a multi-millionaire did not have a lower tax rate than his secretary. Today, President Obama is calling for the same with the Buffett Rule."

- Harry S. Truman: "He ended racial segregation in [the American] civil service and the armed forces in 1948. Today the Obama administration continues to strive toward upholding the civil rights of its citizens, repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell . . . in our armed forces."

There are many additional amusing, ultra-partisan-spin-filled examples in the linked story. Truth be told, all of this excessive bloviating and unadulterated narcissism got me thinking this week: What if Obama got his bionic-partisan little hands on other websites (where's Mark Lloyd when you need him!), such as the online encyclopedia known as Wikipedia.org and its various biographies and articles? Betcha Obama would have a damn field day over there! Just imagine (with the likely Obama insertion again in italics):

- Jesus Christ: "The central figure of Christianity whom most Christian scholars today present as the awaited Messiah promised in the Old Testament. President Obama was lauded as a Messianic figure in his own right by the mainstream media and certain sectors of the American public upon his election in 2008 -- a distinction only confirmed less than a year later when President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his myriad presidential and lifetime accomplishments."

- Joan of Arc: "A French peasant girl who, claiming divine guidance, led the French army to several important victories during the Hundred Years' War. During his presidency, President Obama has also established himself as a renowned and historical military commander, presiding over the effecting of regime change in Libya, significantly ramping up American troop levels in Afghanistan as a part of his Surge, and personally making the tough executive decision to execute Osama Bin Laden in his home in Pakistan. Mission Accomplished!"

- Jim Thorpe: "Considered one of the most versatile athletes of the modern sporting era, he won Olympic gold medals for the 1912 pentathlon and decathlon, played American football (collegiate and professional), and also played professional baseball and basketball. President Obama has similarly garnered a reputation as one of the most versatile athletes among modern American presidents, excelling equally (by virtue of thousands of hours put in as president) on the golf course, the hardwood, and the swimming waters of the ocean."

- Karen Silkwood: "American labor union activist and chemical technician made famous and immortalized in film for blowing the whistle on the Kerr-McGee nuclear reactor component parts plant near Crescent, Oklahoma. President Obama has himself become known as one of the most prolific whistleblowers of modern times, exposing the republic partisan gop-er party time and time again in election season for officially declaring a War of one sort or another on every sex, race, age, nationality, religion, creed, class, color or pet preference known within the civilized world."

- Irwin R. Schyster ("I.R.S."): "Highly successful American professional wrestler of the 1990s known best for accusing various opponents and fans alike of not paying their 'fair share in taxes.' President Obama, recognized universally as the most intelligent president in American history, and taking a cue from the heady, lofty discourse of pro wrestling exhibited by the likes of Mr. Schyster, has also embraced the practice of using easily grasped, lowest common denominator, first-grade style words and phrases over and over and over again in his torturous effort to try to communicate to an American electorate comprised of 80% imbeciles. Hey, being His Majesty The Chosen One ain't always easy over here!"

http://www.commentarymagazine.com/2012/05/15/obama-drops-his-name-into-presidential-biographies/

"I Can't Walk! Please Help Me!" Two Men in Germany Allege Nymphomaniac Woman Tried to "Kill" Them with Sex"!

I've heard of trying to get the most bang for your buck, but this be ridiculous.  And she's a repeat offender, no less (allegedly)!

Cops in Germany say that on the heels of arresting a 47-year-old "nymphomaniac" woman for "forcing" a 43-year-old man to have sex with her eight times, this bangin' broad was at it again in the past few weeks -- allegedly subjecting another man (31 years old) to a "36-hour ordeal" involving forced sex OVER and OVER and OVER again (link to full story at bottom).

Cops say they found this month's male victim crying out on the street after he was able to escape his allegedly near-fatal sexual torment.  The man allegedly had to "fight back tears" before he could even say word one to describe what had happened.

He told cops that the female sexpot met him on the bus and invited him back to her joint.  But once there, he says: "Oh God, it was hell! I Can't walk! Please help me!"

This follows an earlier incident in which the woman was arrested for allegedly refusing to let another man leave her pad even after he did the dirty deed eight times with her (as referenced above).  That guy says he eventually had to flee to the woman's balcony in order to try to escape the horizontal pillow pummeling.

Out on the balcony, the earlier victim reportedly was able to phone the cops, telling them:  "You have got to help me. She is trying to kill me with sex! I cannot go on -- I cannot go on!"  And I guess this psycho sex babe was being serious when she allegedly told the earlier victim that she still needed to go a few more rounds...

That's because when the cops showed up to arrest her, she allegedly "invited the two officers to join her in bed for a 'quickie.' "  They declined, which is good since something tells me this little number's definition of "quickie" might have laid up those cops for a damn week.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4288330/Nympho-kept-victim-captive-for-36-hour-forced-sex-session.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2137297/Munich-nymphomaniac-Second-victim-weeping-street.html

Can I Please Ever Go More than One Week or Weekend Without Seeing a Damn News Story Using the Term, "Manhole"!?! That Is SO 1980s...

I don't care if it's hobos stealing "manhole" covers in New York City (linked stories below from the past two weekends). I don't care if it's some little punk falling down a "manhole." I don't care if it's some slimeball trying to pull a bank job using a "manhole" cover as a weapon. Point being: Stop calling it a damn "manhole"!!!

OK, one more (and maybe the last) time on this: The term "manhole" is archaic and highly politically incorrect.  That's because it directly implies that only a man has the ability to toil away down inside a hole.  The correct terminology to be used in 2012 is "personhole" or "personhole cover."  Or, alternatively, if you must (although it's not my preference): "Sewerhole" or "sewerhole cover."  Am I asking for so freakin' much over here?

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/junkie_flipped_lids_vxpSFAI1gtlzt69Gxca41N
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/thieves-stealing-manhole-covers-york-city-utility-says-173230741--sector.html

Boring-Old-Party: Looks Like Leftist 20 Percenters Need Not Worry About Romney Selecting Marco Rubio or Any Other "Sexy" VP Pick...

...what with (after a few weeks of complete silence on the Romney VP front) Monday's seemingly well-researched and well-written article at Politico.com (by Mike Allen & Jim "G. Castanza" Vandehei) reporting that the Romney camp plans (and is reportedly actually looking very forward to) selecting an "Incredibly Boring White Guy" to be Romney's running mate.

Gee whiz:  (1) republic partisan gop-er party and (2) "incredibly boring white guys."  Never would a' thunk to put those two descriptions together before.

(Must say, these two rotten parties really do excel at making it so easy to be (and remain) an Independent.  That's perhaps their most high-level and consistent talent, truth be told.)

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0512/76260.html

P-U! You Know You Have B.O. Issues When You're Forced to Heist a Bobcat to Crash Into a Store In Order to Get Your Hands on Some Deodorant!

If you smell like a sweat factory, you are not without options: Take a shower. Take a bath. Jump in a stream. Plop down a buck at Dollar Tree for a deodorant.  Or, if all else fails, I guess then rip off a piece of heavy construction equipment so that you can bash in the side of a store in order to swipe some deodorant. Although, do consider that a rock might accomplish the same result sans the grand theft auto...

This guy must've really stunk. And then some. 50-year-old Michael Younger (pictured above) of Chicago was apparently so desperate last week for some stench-killer that he allegedly hatched a wild plan to break into the local Family Dollar so that he could lay his hands on a stick of deodorant. (Either that, or he thought there was a standing demolition order for the joint and was just trying to carry out that piece of work)...

Cops say this sick stinkpot (allegedly) got the plan rolling (link to full story at bottom) by lifting a Bobcat skid steer from a local construction site and then driving that baby down to the Family Dollar.  And he wasn't just there to plow some snow or move some dirt around, either.

Instead, cops say this foul-smelling fleecer (allegedly) used the Bobcat to crash right through a store window (pictures immediately above and at the top). And once inside, you'd 'a thunk he'd be heading for the registers, or maybe the safe, or even the electronics, right?  Wrong.

Rather, the alleged smelly swiper Younger reportedly made a beeline straight for the toiletries!  And I guess he didn't want to cause too grave a financial harm to Family Dollar (apart from caving in the side of the store), since he allegedly limited his take two cans of deodorant (and some apparently worthless gift cards) before making his escape.

Cops say they found Younger wandering around in the area and busted his filthy ass (allegedly) on two counts of felony burlgary ((1) the skid steer and (2) the dollar store job). That means his future personal hygiene efforts may have to come in the can for some time to come. My best advice to him would be don't drop that deodorant.

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/Man-Bobcat-Family-Dollar-151111285.html
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=8657585
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-police-man-uses-bobcat-to-break-into-store-steal-deodorant-20120511,0,6107192.story

Civility: Did democrat party's James Carville Really Just Suggest that gop-er Pres Nominee Mitt Romney Be Bludgeoned & Buried Alive in a Damn Cornfield?

You know, these loony leftist 20 percenters and deranged right-wingers on both sides use crazy, over-the-top, inappropriate rhetoric on an almost daily basis anymore, and I most typically ignore it except when I spot an instance to which no one in the media seems to be paying any attention: Such as when I see no media coverage of one of these lunatic partisans speaking of beating the living shit out of an opposing politician prior to depositing his nearly lifeless body in a shallow grave out in the cornfield...

It was one of the most violent, brutal scenes you'll ever see in a motion picture (pics above and below).  Near the end of 1995's "Casino," Joe Pesci's mob boss Nicky Santoro character and that character's brother are lured out into a rural cornfield by fellow mafiosos under the pretense of a "business meeting." Yeah right...

Once there, Frank Vincent takes an aluminum bat and beats the holy hell out of Santoro's brother (while Santoro is restrained by others) before giving the same royal slimeball treatment to Santoro himself.  Both beaten to a bloody pulp and barely breathing, the two brothers are then tossed in a shallow grave and buried alive.  Pleasant, amusing stuff, no?

So naturally, in a CNN piece yesterday (link at bottom), democrat party cretin and partisan hack James Carville would of course think to cite the "Casino" cornfield scene to conjure up images of what the democrat party plans to do to republic partisan Pres Nominee Mitt Romney. I mean, what other possible analogy would one ever want to use?!?

Carville's line was buried in a rant about how the democrat party should take Romney somewhat seriously as a candidate even if Romney is (in Carville's words) the "worst" presidential candidate "in history" (a contention easily disproved: see John McCain a mere four years ago, although I digress)... 

Spews Carville:  "I know that we are going to take him [Romney] out to the cornfield (like at the end of the movie 'Casino') on the [Paul] Ryan [gop-er proposed] budget."

This statement would be akin, mind you, to some deranged right-winger bragging that gop-ers in 2012 are "going to take Obama down to the river (like Luca Brasi in the movie 'The Godfather')."  Betcha that statement wouldn't go so unnoticed all over the Net!

Regardless, I'm sure Carville would defend by claiming that he was just using political hyperbole and trying to "joke" around.  Since, after all, nothing says barrel of laughs quite like suggesting that a political opponent take a good baseball bat beatin' followed by a date six feet under.  With hilarious quips like that, methinks maybe Carville's been moonlighting as a writer for Bill Maher and Rush Slimebaugh in recent years?

http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/08/opinion/carville-democrats-could-lose/index.html?hpt=po_r1

Oh My, Mama-Cita! This Sure as Hell Ain'tMrs. Robinson Going to the Candidates Debate...

Mexico's "electoral authority" formally apologized to voters yesterday after former Playboy model, "debate assistant," and all-around Latin firebrand Julia Orayen (pictured variously above) -- and her revealing, cleavage-spouting outfit -- completely upstaged the boring, stuffy presidential candiates at a debate this week!

Apparently Julia's role was to strut around in front of the camera to hand out some sort of card to the candidates.  But the main thing accomplished by this beautiful buxom broad was to create a big stir on the Net.  (How about this doofus presidential candidate staring at her ass!...)

I just don't get why anyone had to "apologize" for this.  They should likewise bring out a little number like Julia for the American presidential debates later this year.  And if the dame similarly needs to be Mexican, then I'd nominate the ultra-pouty Paulina Gaitan (pictured below) from ABC's "The River" (since She Be HOT!).

Yep, the American presidential debates will most def need a special added attraction, especially now that it's clear that The Trumper won't be joining the race.  I gots to be entertained, after all. And Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are about as entertaining and colorful as watching a hyena eat a damn vulture (and yes, I have seen such a thing play out before).

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/05/07/entertainment-us-mexico-elections-model-idUSBRE84615A20120507