Monday, May 14, 2012

P-U! You Know You Have B.O. Issues When You're Forced to Heist a Bobcat to Crash Into a Store In Order to Get Your Hands on Some Deodorant!



If you smell like a sweat factory, you are not without options: Take a shower. Take a bath. Jump in a stream. Plop down a buck at Dollar Tree for a deodorant.  Or, if all else fails, I guess then rip off a piece of heavy construction equipment so that you can bash in the side of a store in order to swipe some deodorant. Although, do consider that a rock might accomplish the same result sans the grand theft auto...

This guy must've really stunk. And then some. 50-year-old Michael Younger (pictured above) of Chicago was apparently so desperate last week for some stench-killer that he allegedly hatched a wild plan to break into the local Family Dollar so that he could lay his hands on a stick of deodorant. (Either that, or he thought there was a standing demolition order for the joint and was just trying to carry out that piece of work)...

Cops say this sick stinkpot (allegedly) got the plan rolling (link to full story at bottom) by lifting a Bobcat skid steer from a local construction site and then driving that baby down to the Family Dollar.  And he wasn't just there to plow some snow or move some dirt around, either.

Instead, cops say this foul-smelling fleecer (allegedly) used the Bobcat to crash right through a store window (pictures immediately above and at the top). And once inside, you'd 'a thunk he'd be heading for the registers, or maybe the safe, or even the electronics, right?  Wrong.

Rather, the alleged smelly swiper Younger reportedly made a beeline straight for the toiletries!  And I guess he didn't want to cause too grave a financial harm to Family Dollar (apart from caving in the side of the store), since he allegedly limited his take two cans of deodorant (and some apparently worthless gift cards) before making his escape.

Cops say they found Younger wandering around in the area and busted his filthy ass (allegedly) on two counts of felony burlgary ((1) the skid steer and (2) the dollar store job). That means his future personal hygiene efforts may have to come in the can for some time to come. My best advice to him would be don't drop that deodorant.

http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/Man-Bobcat-Family-Dollar-151111285.html
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=8657585
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-police-man-uses-bobcat-to-break-into-store-steal-deodorant-20120511,0,6107192.story