Thursday, May 24, 2012
Dirty Deeds 101: If You Must Bang or "Bonk" Some Dude You're Not Married to in the Back of a Cab, Watch Out You Don't Do So in a "Strict Islamist State"!
So someone needs to tell 29-year-old "busty" British businesswoman Rebecca "Becky" Blake (pictures above) to take care never to get caught falling down drunk, peeling off all one's clothes, and knockin' boots with some guy not her husband in the back of a damn taxi (allegedly) in Dubai -- a "strict Islamist state." Ill-advised move, one could argue.
More on that in a moment (links to full story from UK's Sun and Daily Mail at bottom). But first, just check out the day this broad engaged in leading up to her becoming a back-of-the-cab slab (allegedly). Becky reportedly bought into a 10-Euro (probably like 12 or 13 American bucks) "all-you-can-drink" brunch at a Dubai hotel bar called "The Irish Village." (Jeezal Peezal: Tank up in public for just $12-13? Maybe I do need to hit Dubai! But I digress).
And it was at said bar that Becky reportedly engaged in a 12-HOUR drinking binge with some Irish guy (why do the Micks keep coming into this sorry equation?), not her husband, named Conor McRedmond (you just can't make this shit up). 12 Hours? Talk about partyin' like a damn Rock Star! (To quote Butch Cassidy: "I couldn't do that! Could you do that?!?).
Therefore, when they hit the back seat of a cab they'd hailed out on the street, It Be On!!! (Allegedly). Inside the taxi, Dubai cops say Becky Blake quickly changed her name to Buck Naked and started slammin' on the equally sloshed Mick (allegedly).
But I don't get this part: The drunk-ass couple (allegedly) was only busted because the cab driver reportedly became "incensed by their behavior" and therefore actually pulled his rig over in order to rat out the dirty duo to the cops! (I wasn't aware that the tea party had infiltrated the Dubai cab driver union -- damn right-wingers). What a prude! Has this man never watched "Taxicab Confessions"? Grumpy Gus should not raise such a fuss.
-Becky faces up to three years in the Dubai hoosegow if convicted on charges of "having sex outside of marriage" and public drunkenness. Apparently, they rather frown upon such endeavors in Dubai.
-Becky and The Mick were held in the can for five long days without bail for their alleged high offenses and were actually forced to give damn DNA samples to the cops, who are reportedly looking for an air-tight case of sex and drunkenness!
-Bail for this allegedly terrible tandem was only procured after multiple individuals agreed to guarantee as suretors that the couple would stick around Dubai.
And to think, for my past Irish transgressions, the most I ever faced was 30 days in the freezer lest I wanted to buck up a modest bribe. Compare that to Dubai, and I don't really care if 12 or 13 bucks there gets your full drink on -- I'll stick with the Republic (and my fellow Micks), thank you.