Monday, January 23, 2012

Hobo With a Long-Knife: Arizona Homeless Bum Allegedly Butchers Cat for Dinner & Puts Uneaten Portions to Good Use as Well...



Maybe this hobo is some sort of sick descendant of the Plains Indians. They were renowned for always finding some use for most parts of a slain animal carcass (such as the buffalo) and putting very little to waste. But somehow I don't think this is quite what Dances With Wolves had in mind...

Cops in Phoenix say they found homeless tramp Russell Christopher Hofstad (the non-cat pictured above) hanging out in an old warehouse with a mutilated feline. Being hungry, the bum allegedly claimed, he pounded the cat to death with a stick and used a big butcher knife to "skin and gut" the poor animal. Then it was time for dinner (allegedly).

After polishing off his supper (allegedly), you might think this deranged drifter would toss the rest of the cat into a dumpster or something, right? Wrong. Why put a good cat hide and innards to waste, after all?

Cops say this creepy vagrant next turned into Davey Crockett, using the cat's furry tail as a piece of clothing apparel. In particular, cops say the bum's little makeshift varmint garment consisted of the tail and some of the cat's intestines, which cops say the vagabond had fashioned into a necklace that he was wearing when the cops found him.

Cops also say the unhinged hobo used some screwdrivers and "clippers" to meticulously remove the creature's various internal organs so that he could put those "on ice" as if he was dealing with Alejandra Sosa down in Colombia. Specifically, the batty tramp allegedly iced down the cat guts inside a cooler (since those things do go bad real fast if you just leave them lying about at room temperature).

The cat pugilist panhandler told cops that he even planned to put the little animal's skeleton to good use too. Apparently the bum was planning a little shindig down at his flophouse and envisioned using the skeleton "as party decorations."

The party was seemingly already underway when cops found the kooky hermit, who was allegedly prancing around the joint in his cat tail necklace, with his face painted, after blasting off all the warehouse's old fire extinguishers and littering the place with booze bottles.

But on the bright side of things, this Hofstad character is no longer homeless. Cops tossed his alleged cat-skinning ass in the hoosegow on animal cruelty and burglary charges. And after having feasted on cat, I doubt the bread and water down in the hole are gonna sit too well with this bum.

Friday, January 20, 2012

What a Ballbreaker: Cops Bust "Bam Bam the Testicle Attacker" for Allegedly Bustin' Her Old Man's Balls (Literally) and a Whole Lotta More!


That cold-hearted stare you see above belongs to one bona fide ball buster (allegedly). She's 24-year-old Savannah "Bam Bam" Rios outta Utah, and cops there have nailed her nutcracker ass for allegedly terrorizing her boyfriend's coin purse and then trying to heist all his coin to boot!

As reported on the venerable Smoking Gun website (link at bottom), cops says this bizarre ball basher got things started last week after her old man accused her of knocking over his joint and "swiping some of his belongings." And dude definitely picked the wrong broad to finger for thievery, apparently...

After hearing the accusation, this batty ball bruiser first allegedly took to slapping the old man around a bedroom. She next reportedly brandished a knife and asked the old man, "You Wanna Die!?!" And that was just for starters.

Next this nutty nut mauler forced the old man to strip down buck naked. Maybe she had a little makeup sex on her mind? Not on your damn life. Cops says this demented log splitter wrapped the old man's belt all around her paw and proceeded to "hit him several times right in the balls."

Likely being in a bit of pain at this point, the ball-beaten boyfriend reportedly "pleaded for his life," at which the ever-compassionate Bam Bam the ballbreaker permitted her old man to put his drawers back on (I just hope those were loose-fitting britches).

Next this crazed cracker jack crusher allegedly forced the old man to drive her to his house, all the while (on the way over) stabbing at his acorn-anguished ass with a big knife like he was a pelotas pinata.

Once back at the old man's joint, this bonkers Bam Bam ball breacher allegedly commenced "swiping" even more of the guy's stuff, this time including his DVD player, camera and phones. Then she spied his bank statement lying around the place!

So for good measure, this deranged ding dong drubber allegedly forced her old man back into the car to take her down to his local banking establishment. There he says he was forced to withdraw and fork over 500 bucks to Bam Bam, although he finally got loose and was able to sprint (at least as fast as his swollen stone sack would allow) to the nearest police station.

Now this crazy cojones clubber may have to pummel her next set of genitals down in the local hoosegow, as cops have slapped her package pounding hide (allegedly) with a bevy of felony charges that include sexual abuse, kidnapping and robbery. And with a $100,000 bond, methinks even all the family jewels and the old man's chattels put together ain't bringin' her loin lashin' carcass out the bullpen anytime soon.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/utah-testicle-attacker-busted-761234

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Junior's Got No Juice Box, Daddy Never Sleeps at Night: 5-Year-Old Allegedly Goes Ape & Shanks Family Members Over Juice Box Dispute!


There are some things in this life that you just don't do. Never take cancer sticks away from a nicotine fiend who's not looking to quit. Never try to snatch away a chumpchop from a pit bull once it's been tossed his way. And you can now add one to the list (apparently): Never fool around with a little shit's juice box lest you know what's good for ya...

This little five-year-old tike in Greene County, Virginia, must really live for that afternoon juice box fix -- and don't even get him started when it comes to breaking that routine (allegedly)...

Cops say that around 3:30 p.m. Monday, the little tot yanked out some sort of crude, makeshift shank (described as an "edged object") and used it to do a little carving on three family members after a "juice box dispute" broke out inside his home down at the local trailer park.

The juice fracas reportedly sent all three family members to the hospital and bought the little juice slicer a trip down to the hoosegow to undergo a mental evaluation, for some reason.

Neighbors say this little razor ruffian has terrorized the home before, allegedly with an "anger problem" that leads him to "physically abuse his mother." (Which, if true, would make this little alleged domestic carver about the most badass five-year-old that I've ever heard of).

Other neighbors, however, were more "shocked" by the news. One neighbor described the boy as a "happy go lucky little dude": "No problems, he was a good dude," said a neighbor named Nikoma Collins. And, indeed, nothing says "happy go lucky little dude" quite like hacking up a few family members with a sharp metal object (allegedly).

And local sheriff Steve Smith seems mystified too: "I've heard of juveniles throwing temper tantrums, but I've never heard of anything like this before," confided Smith. Isn't that what the cops used to always tell Dr. Loomis?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Boy, That's Gracious of Her: Nancy Pelosi Joins in leftist 20 percenter "Warnings" to gop-ers that They Need to Nominate Someone Besides Romney...


As recently predicted in this space, get ready for a steady stream of democrat party people purporting -- out of the goodness of their sweet little hearts -- to provide right-wingers with some free "advice" about whom the gop-ers should nominate to take on the individual we currently have as president this fall.

The latest leftist 20 percenter to try to help out the republic partisans is none other than former Creature of the House Nancy Pelosi this week. Following the cue provided over the past few weeks by Obama political hatchet job David Axelrod and the White House itself, Pelosi said Tuesday that Romney isn't the gop-ers' "first string" candidate, is "not going to be the president," and lacks support from devout right-wingers because "they don't think he can win" (link at bottom).

Again, the translation: Please nominate some goof other than Romney, gop-ers, because he stands the best chance of beating Obama in November from among the current gop-er field. Not to mention, the lukewarm right-winger support for Romney has little to do with their assessment of his chances of winning, and everything to do with the fact that far right-wingers (who dominate the republic partisan party) don't believe that Romney is "conservative enough."

Put another way, the right-wingers wish they had a better candidate to the right of Romney for whom they could vote in the primaries. But the field is weak, and no such person has gained much traction against Romney.

Regardless, it's largely now a moot point, because Romney has the nomination largely sewed up at this point -- much to the chagrin of your Axelrods and Pelosis of the world. But at least they gave it the ol' college try, and I can't blame them: I'd rather run against a Gingrich, Santorum or Ron Paul too!

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0112/71531.html

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

BBQ Joint to Customer: "No Tip, Uh? Why Don't You 'Go Fuck Yourself!'" A Boner of a Move?



Whatever you do, don't be a cheapskate at Boners BBQ in Hotlanta. And watch out you don't criticize the eats there, either! 'Cause they'll tell ya exactly what you can do with them complaints, not to mention exactly where you can stick your coupons and tight ass tips!

Boners claimed the above-pictured Stephanie Stuck recently came into the joint, used a coupon to cut her tab down to 40 bucks, then made a beeline for the exits without so much as leaving one red cent for a tip. And what's any upstanding BBQ dive gonna do when a customer leaves no tip like that? Head to the Net and start cussin' her out, of course! How else would you handle things?

Boners' manager reportedly went on the restaurant's Facebook and Twitter pages, posted a picture of Stuck, and basically told her to "go fuck yourself" -- literally (as shown above): "NOT WANTED! Stephanie S. left waitress 0.00 tip on a $40 tab after she received a Scoutmob discount. If you see this woman in your restaurant tell her to go outside and play, hide and go fuck yourself! Yelp that bitch!"

Only problem (beyond the obvious one that this might not be the best tactic to garner repeat business)? Stuck says the tab was only 30 bucks, and that she actually left a $10 tip. She also says the joint was just pissed because she posted an unfavorable online "Yelp" review of her Boners meal, calling the eats "tepid." And since this BBQ broad doesn't appear to miss too many meals, I'd bet her review was fairly spot on.

Apparently confronted with the truth, Boners reportedly scrambled to yank the "Go Fuck Yourself" blast from their websites faster than a shithouse visit following a slab of ribs and a side of beans. The joint -- which boasts the catchphrase, "Put a little south in your mouth" -- now has its foot in its own piehole and is in full damage-control mode, even offering up an apology to Stuck.

Boners' apology even admitted (fittingly) that it made a "bonehead move" with its little online curse job. Not that I can too overly condemn a nice little "G-F-Y" every now and then. But save it (like me) for the political realm, Boners, and spare the customers next time.

Monday, January 16, 2012

And the Golden Globe Goes To: Four of My Favorite TV Show Actors from the Past Year in Peter Dinklage, Jessica Lange, Claire Danes & Kelsey Grammer...




I typically pay only scant attention to these awards shows for reasons that include the people whom I think should win never do. But I can't say that about the 2012 edition of the Golden Globe Awards, which decorated actors from my two favorite new shows of the past year -- Peter Dinklage/"Game of Thrones" and Jessica Lange/"American Horror Story" -- not to mention giving a well-deserved award to Claire Danes' performance in another new show ("Homeland," in which Danes stole the show) and Kelsey Grammer on a fourth one ("Boss," my third-favorite new TV show of the last 12 months).

When Dinklage's midget "Tyrion Lannister" character wasn't cursing or whoring up a storm, or giving his pathetic full-size nephew Joffrey a good beatdown, or showing surprising spontaneous compassion for those he called "cripples, bastards and broken things," then he was taking a hooker to the King's court against his powerful old man's wishes or was being told to make sure to "stay low" during an upcoming battle with enemy forces. The Tyrion character was the most complex, interesting and entertaining character on a show full of them, and Dinklage pulled it off like it a master. He didn't get this award because he's a midget. Rather, he got it because he was that good.


Jessica Lange was nearly equally masterful on F/X's creepy new "American Horror Story," in which she played the demented Southern Belle next-door neighbor who -- when she's not sleeping with much younger males, delivering seriously poisoned pastries to the neighbors, or whacking out her hubby and his maid lover -- seems to most enjoy herself dressing down and berating the various maniacal "ghosts" (including poor said maid) who inhabit the joint next-door. And kudos to film-star Lange being willing to mix it up on the small screen, where I recall her saying that a cable TV series like AHS (with its shorter cable season) worked perfectly for a more time-strapped schedule.

I didn't like Showtime's "Homeland" nearly as much as GOT or AHS, but I watched the entire first season largely due to Claire Danes and her show-stealing performance as the ultra-psychotic US intelligence agent who constantly seems just one step away from having a complete mental breakdown (know the damn feeling!). Hope this performance and award help propel her to more big screen roles in the years to come. We could use better and improved psychos in American film!

Kelsey Grammer finally broke away from that damn pesky Frazier. And in a big way. His Starz show "Boss" never mentioned the democrat party or the republic partisan party, and it didn't need to. That world is a world of slimeballs regardless of party, and Grammer played the Mayor of Chicago as if he was the ultimate King of the political sleazebuckets. No funny lines, no quips, no light moments. Just scuz. I never even once thought of Frazier Crane when watching that show -- a tribute to Grammer's ability to step into a whole different kind of role and kick ass. I'm just surprised Rahm Emanuel, the Daley Dynasty and the individual we currently have as president haven't yet sued Grammer and "Boss" for divulging some of their best dirty tricks with neither proper attribution nor compensation.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/46007126/ns/today-entertainment/t/michelle-williams-peter-dinklage-tintin-win-golden-globes/#.TxOc54EU_fQ

Friday, January 13, 2012

democrat party Chairman Patty "Wasserman" Simpson Blames tea party & republic partisans For the Arizona Massacre -- Which Happened Over a Year Ago...



Sometimes I think "Wasserman" Simpson's brain just don't work so well. Over a year it takes her to blame the tea party and right-wingers for the Arizona Massacre? That of course was the event in early January 2011 in which six people were shot dead by the above-pictured deranged slimeball Jared Loughner (allegedly), and democrat party U.S. representative Gabrielle Giffords was badly wounded...

Immediately, and predictably, American leftist 20 percenters blamed Sarah Palin, right-wingers, the tea party, and the republic partisan party in general, for causing the massacre through use of "uncivil" rhetoric.

Never mind, of course, that this Loughner slug turned out to have no apparent affiliation with any particular party or ideology. Also never mind that leftist 20 percenters telling anyone to use more "civility" is sort of like an Alabama shithouse telling a fellow shithouse in Mississippi that it stinks real bad.

But regardless of any of that, THAT WAS OVER A YEAR AGO! I blogged on it over a year ago (link at bottom). "Wasserman" Simpson needs some new material. And material of this particular (low) quality ain't even hard to conjure up. People get murdered in America every day. Blame some of those on your political opponents if you must. At least that mindless extremist blather would be timely.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

"Please Come to Boston for the Springtime": Think I'll Pass, As Beantown Cracks Down on Subway Operators, Requiring Them to Start Staying Awake!


I've heard of draconian workplace mandates before, but this is ridiculous. Like the typical sour pus employer who requires employees to generally show up on time. Like the office boss who frowns upon the idea of male employees banging cleaning broads on top of their desks after work. Like the fast food manager who throws a shit fit when a couple of dames post Net pics of themselves bathing together in the big industrial sink in the back of the joint...

But now, from the City of Boston, the ultimate coup de grace when it comes to overbearing job site mandates: The latest from the land of silent "R's" and no-barricade island bridge drive-offs has Beantown actually having the unmitigated gall to issue a new work ultimatum to all city subway operators: "Don't fall asleep on the job."

This particular new "rule" (set forth in a new Memo from the City to all subway operators) may just be the most dramatically authoritarian directive to come down from on high since Moses returned from the mountain with Commandment #9 that "Man Shalt Not Lie With Nor Marry Another Man" -- a pronouncement which to this very day has driven a Noah's Ark-size wedge between the likes of Barack Obama and those who actually pay attention to the positions he's taken. But I digress...

Now, the City's politicians say the harsh new indictment has been in response to certain subway operators shirkin' the ol' duties as of late, such as some little number subway driver dame who was recently caught doing her nails whilst on the job. But tell me, was that so wrong? Was there a precise policy against that sort of thing? If so, link or cite, please.

Regardless, Bostonian folk have had mixed reactions to the new mass transit "stay awake" rule, where the response has ranged from "pretty alarming" to "fingers crossed" to "Oh My Goodness" to "I trust 'em!"

Another local remarked that he just hopes his subway operator "is not falling asleep at the wheel." Which begs the question -- these trains have steering wheels as they make their way down those very well-defined tracks? Talk about a derailment waiting to happen. Methinks I'd feel safer with the conductor catching some Z's back in the shithouse.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2084393/Boston-transport-authority-issues-memo-drivers-stating-obvious.html

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

"Gay Marriage Is a Threat to Humanity," Spouts His Excellency Pope Benedict XVI. So THAT's Why He Won't Let All His Priests Get Married?!?


...but at least Popey can count among his political friends and allies a fellow anointed royal figure in the form of His Majesty Barack Obama -- who likewise finds time in his life to actually worry about and oppose gay marriage.

Me, I'll pass. Wanna talk about something that threatens humanity, Popey? How about the stifling, unsustainable debt in Greece, your beloved current home of Italy, most of the European Union, and in the United States? That dire crisis -- ignored by politicians of both extremist stripes on a daily basis everywhere -- threatens to tank the global economy sometime this year and make the crash of 2008 look like a Rick Perry Sunday morning sashay through a Texas shithouse.

Or you can spend your nights losing sleep over a couple of people of the same sex who love each other having the same marriage status as everyone else. Whatever floats your boat, there, Popey. Ronald Reagan used to say that he never left his party, rather it left him. Well I've never belonged to a party. But I did used to be a catholic.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/09/us-pope-gay-idUSTRE8081RM20120109
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2084696/Pope-Benedict-XVI-Gay-marriage-threat-humanity.html

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Can We Please Say "Person Hole"? New Mexico Father & Son Reportedly Plunge Down Exposed "Manhole" Into Raw Sewage, Nearly Killing Themselves...


It's amazing to me that the media still doesn't get it. The word "manhole" has been politically incorrect since probably the 1980s AD. That highly insensitive term implies that only a man, in fact, is qualified and able to go to work down inside a hole. The proper term is "person hole" or, if you prefer, "sewer hole." With that now out of my piehole...

A dad named Bob Anderson (pictured above) in Albuquerque, New Mexico, says a shitty situation almost turned deadly last week when he and his five-year-old son almost died in a veritable flowing shit-storm at the bottom of a person hole into which they fell.

The person hole at issue was in a construction zone (pictured below) with its person hole cover gone and "the metal sheets covering it ... removed." It also didn't help matters that it was after dark at the time.

The old man says he, sonny and wifey couldn't see that the person hole's temporary metal sheet covering had been removed. He says sonny first fell ten feet down to the bottom of the person hole after running ahead of his parents on the street.

But the heroic papa says he immediately took a flying leap of his own down the person hole in order to save his boy. Anderson says the only thing at the bottom of that person hole was a big load of shit, and the raw sewage reportedly filled both of their mouths soon after impact.

"It was only when they bobbed back up" to the surface that Anderson's old lady was able to pull Anderson and son out of this rancid, raunchy shithole. Said the old man: "We could have lost him out here, we could have lost me ... because there is no way out of these things."

The city has reportedly put the metal sheets back over the person hole, but has not installed the typical tight-fitting person hole cover. Says Anderson: "They're [the city] trying to blame the people for their sloppiness and there job here -- I'm afraid somebody's going to get hurt."

And as generally might be expected from people forced to eat shit down inside a person hole, Anderson says he's been holed up sick since the incident and has had to go to the emergency room several times "due to bacteria." Which is something I bet he needed like a manhole in the head.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2084357/Father-son-5-fall-feet-sewage-manhole-collapse.html

Monday, January 9, 2012

Sure She Wasn't a Carny on Her Night Off? Mom Allegedly Gets Bombed on Booze & Passes Out at Florida Amusement Park While Her Kids Play on the Rides!



I'm trying to ponder potential explanations for this type of alleged behavior. Maybe Mama really wanted to win that huge stuffed animal in the Ring Toss and got depressed and needed a drink when she came up a little short? Or maybe she was just so scared of heights that she had to get all liquored up before joining her little brats on the roller coaster?

Whatever it was, cops say Karin Rosemarie Reinhard (pictured immediately above) proceeded to get all f*cked up on alcohol (or as they say, "heavily intoxicated") last week at the King Richard's Family Fun Park in North Naples, Florida -- all the while as the four kids she was supposed to be watching (two her own) made merry on some of the nearby park rides.

But cops say this alleged blitzed blonde's little carnival act started falling apart and sinking faster than one of those arms on the Hurricane ride. Specifically, Mama's trashed crash started when one of the kids called a friend to report that Mama was "really drunk" right there at the park.

The kid also passed along that this alleged fun park lush was "hanging" all over "some guy she didn't know" like a Tunnel of Love lapdog (although perhaps he was just the carnival barker from the aforementioned Ring Toss?).

That's when the cops were called in, although they reportedly didn't exactly find Mama stumbling and bumbling all 'round the park like she had been (allegedly). Mama's wild Tilt-A-Whirl ride now apparently over, cops discovered this alleged bumper car boozer completely passed out down on the ground.

And cops say it might have been easier to raise the dead inside the park's House of Horrors, since it reportedly took cops "several attempts to wake" Mama "before she finally came to." Just for good measure, Mama allegedly blasted cops with "Nazi" and "Hitler" insults after they woke her drunkard ass up (allegedly).

Cops busted this alleged shit-faced theme park soak on child endangerment charges, although she reportedly put forth a defense claiming that she thought the kids were at home and "hadn't realized they were at the amusement park." Put another way: It's OK for Mama to leave the kids home alone and go get pie-eyed in the Funhouse as long as the kids aren't along!

Personally, I would have blamed the Gravitron for being zonked out rather than even bringing the kids' whereabouts into the equation. Either that, or the fear of heights story.

Friday, January 6, 2012

When Abstract Meets Deranged: Denver Woman Allegedly Terrorizes $30 Million Museum Painting with Her Ass and a Whole Lot More...



OK, I get that some people simply don't care for or appreciate abstract art. We all have our little foibles. I, for example, disdain partisans. But that doesn't mean that when I see gop-ers or democrat party persons out on the street, I try to rub my ass all over them or take a piss on 'em!

The same basic principle of civil restraint would seem entirely lost on 36-year-old Carmen Tush (err, Tisch) of Denver, Colorado (face pictured above) (allegedly). Tish apparently really hates abstract art or, at the very least, the above-pictured "1957-J no. 2" by abstract expressionist Clyfford Still...

Cops in Denver say Tisch became so irrate in the presence of the $30 million painting that she first took to pawing and scratching at it like a wild animal with her fingernails. When that apparently just wasn't cutting the mural well enough, Tisch next allegedly tried to touch it up by taking a poke at the painting with her fist. But Oh My, was this colorful brush with the law just gettin' started at that point (allegedly)!

It apparently wasn't enough merely to deface the poor painting; additionally, Tisch wanted to make sure she left a foul stench about the picture as well (allegedly). And what better way to pull off that piece of work than to pull down the ol' britches and rub one's ass all over the painting (allegedly)?!?

But cops say even after Tisch gave the painting a whole new staining with her bare rump, this anti-art broad just couldn't stop trying to paint herself into a corner. Because next up on her pallet was to try to deliver a little piss job to the paint job (allegedly)!

Specifically, Tisch allegedly "tried to urinate on it but apparently missed." As a result, "she's not being charged with that," says the local District Attorney's office. But while Tisch may have escaped having to try to cop a pee plea, her fanny, nails and fist still allegedly trashed the painting to the hued tune of $10,000 damage.

That's a felony criminal mischief charge, boys and girls -- meaning Tisch may have to take her little paint prejudice (and her bare backside) and paint the local hoosegow red for some time to come.

As for what precisely might have set Tisch off, cops say she did appear to be drunk during the paint melee, although I'm not sure why they would conclude that. "You have to wonder where her friends were," said the DA. Great point. A stable, personable dame like Tisch must have a circle of friends bigger than Johnny Appleseed. Clyfford Still not among them, of course.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

WARNING, Ordains Obama Hatchet Man David Axelrod: Mitt Romney's "The 25 Percent Man"; "No Enthusiasm for Romney"...


...Those barbs were in reference to gop-er "front-runner" Romney's 25 percent performance in this week's Iowa caucus (in which Romney did demonstrate the general weakness of himself and the entire gop-er field by finishing a mere 8 votes ahead of largely unknown Pennsylvania has-been right-winger Rick Santorum).

Translation of the Axelrod/White House remarks: The democrat party and Obama would really, really rather run against a Rick Santorum or a Newt Gingrich than against Romney; therefore, please nominate someone other than Romney, republic partisans!

The reason for such agenda and hidden sentiments from the leftist 20 percenters is pretty obvious. Despite the fact (1) that I may personally view Romney as a stand-for-nothing assclown slickster (for whom I don't intend to vote) and (2) that many in the deranged right-winger gop-er "base" don't like Romney because they think he's "not conservative enough": An awful lot of Independents (including many left-leaning ones) will vote for Romney over Obama...

And of course, we Independents decide your elections. Not to mention, Romney will also likely peel off his share of votes from centrist and right-of-center democrats (if such a creature even still exists) who wouldn't vote for or shake Obama's hand if he was a toilet paper dispenser in a Mississippi shithouse.

As a result, expect from democrat party slimeballs like Axelrod a steady stream of rhetoric in the weeks to come containing veiled "warnings" to the right-wingers that Romney would be a terrible presidential selection who can't beat Obama. And take that propaganda for what it is: Bullshit.

I do still give the incumbent Obama an edge over the rather run-of-the-mill Romney come November, but Romney will keep things close, especially given the rotten economy that Obama has only done his best to further retard while in office. Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich would not keep things close. Or alternatively, you could just listen to Axelrod. Take your pick. Not that I could really give a rat's ass.