Monday, January 23, 2012

Hobo With a Long-Knife: Arizona Homeless Bum Allegedly Butchers Cat for Dinner & Puts Uneaten Portions to Good Use as Well...



Maybe this hobo is some sort of sick descendant of the Plains Indians. They were renowned for always finding some use for most parts of a slain animal carcass (such as the buffalo) and putting very little to waste. But somehow I don't think this is quite what Dances With Wolves had in mind...

Cops in Phoenix say they found homeless tramp Russell Christopher Hofstad (the non-cat pictured above) hanging out in an old warehouse with a mutilated feline. Being hungry, the bum allegedly claimed, he pounded the cat to death with a stick and used a big butcher knife to "skin and gut" the poor animal. Then it was time for dinner (allegedly).

After polishing off his supper (allegedly), you might think this deranged drifter would toss the rest of the cat into a dumpster or something, right? Wrong. Why put a good cat hide and innards to waste, after all?

Cops say this creepy vagrant next turned into Davey Crockett, using the cat's furry tail as a piece of clothing apparel. In particular, cops say the bum's little makeshift varmint garment consisted of the tail and some of the cat's intestines, which cops say the vagabond had fashioned into a necklace that he was wearing when the cops found him.

Cops also say the unhinged hobo used some screwdrivers and "clippers" to meticulously remove the creature's various internal organs so that he could put those "on ice" as if he was dealing with Alejandra Sosa down in Colombia. Specifically, the batty tramp allegedly iced down the cat guts inside a cooler (since those things do go bad real fast if you just leave them lying about at room temperature).

The cat pugilist panhandler told cops that he even planned to put the little animal's skeleton to good use too. Apparently the bum was planning a little shindig down at his flophouse and envisioned using the skeleton "as party decorations."

The party was seemingly already underway when cops found the kooky hermit, who was allegedly prancing around the joint in his cat tail necklace, with his face painted, after blasting off all the warehouse's old fire extinguishers and littering the place with booze bottles.

But on the bright side of things, this Hofstad character is no longer homeless. Cops tossed his alleged cat-skinning ass in the hoosegow on animal cruelty and burglary charges. And after having feasted on cat, I doubt the bread and water down in the hole are gonna sit too well with this bum.