American Leftist 20 Percenters Identify New Enemy: The "Super Old." Meantime, "occupy wall street" Ponders Name Change to "Ossify Hospice Hill"...

...All this in reaction to startling news this week AD that "U.S. young-old wealth gap worse than ever: Typical U.S. household with head over age 64 has net worth 47 times greater than household headed by someone under 35."

Forget class warfare. That focus may soon be shifting to octogenarian opposition. Codger cage match. Old timer tussle. Never thought I'd see the day when "daily kos" and "move on" may actually team up with Paul Ryan's ongoing crusade to toss Greedy Ol' Grams off the cliff.

Damn pesky old people and their savings. We need to find a way to tap into that. Redistribute. Fairness. Equality. Plus, they're just real old. After all, why should some gray-haired geriatric's old grizzled hide have more in his savings account than Warren Buffet's 20-something secretary?

You will pay your fair share, old people -- or we'll occupy your freakin' rest homes, eat all of your mac'n'cheese and jello, and give your shithouses a whole meaning for the word stench. Buck up, you broken down old battle axes, or else. We Are the 20 Percenters. And we have really bad B.O. (not to mention his full backing).

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/07/us-wealth-gap-young-old_n_1079372.html
http://lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/11/04/8639405-downturn-takes-heaviest-toll-on-younger-americans
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57319521/u.s-young-old-wealth-gap-worse-than-ever/?tag=cbsnewsSectionContent.9

"A Further Blow to the One-Time Darling of Reality TV"? Kate Gosselin Accused of Bad Mothering After Sitting By as 1 of her 8 Crawls Under Her Minivan

You tell me if things have really gotten that bad for Kate Gosselin: Yes, her long-running reality show was cancelled in August and she's since been forced to take up employment as a "coupon blogger" on a website called CouponCabin.com. But she still apparently has paparazzi chasing her and her 8 all over the place, meaning she's still far from being out of sight or mind. Latest example:

A story this weekend (link at bottom) has a child safety group expressing "outrage" after one of Kate's brood was seen rummaging around underneath her minivan as mom sat idly by in the driver's seat. The little shit was apparently trying to retrieve some homework he had dropped as he tried to get into mom's minivan after school. Kate, there to pick up the 8, reportedly never got out of the minivan and did nothing as her son burrowed his way around underneath.

Some broad at the child safety group KidsAndCars.org is none too happy, referring to the minivan as a "lethal weapon" under which "having children crawling around is not prudent."

Of course, in contrast, it's highly prudent to have a bunch of paparazzi always tailing this motley crew around like butt smell on an Alabama shithouse. That could never lead to any safety issues, now could it?

Regardless, as long as she still has people snapping pictures of her family's every move, I think tales of Kate's demise are greatly exaggerated. And she hasn't even had to resort to appearing in any fetish videos or celebrity boxing matches like Octomom to keep her name and face out there. Shrewd.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2057438/Kate-Gosselin-outrages-child-safety-group-unsupervised-young-son-crawls-family-van.html

Whack Job Weekend Continues at occupy wall street: Demented Protester Allegedly Goes Berzerk on Card Reader When McDonald's Won't Give Him Free Eats!

I repeat: If I'd have known it would be this fun to watch, I might have been right out there with 'em! And so it is, another day and another deranged leftist 20 percenter freak going apeshit for no good reason down at the ol' "occupy wall street" protest. I can see why the individual we have as president has been so quick and proud to embrace these protests as his own in this autumn of 2011 AD.

Cops in the Big Apple say the Zuccotti Park Crazies were at it again this weekend, with yet another protester throwing a "violent fit," the like of which we've now grown accustomed to seeing on a daily basis from these leftist lunatics. Nothing says non-violent, peaceful movement, after all, quite like a little good old fashioned violent mayhem and rampage.

Cops say the latest violent incident occurred when 27-year-old Fisika Bezabeh (easy for them to say) scurried his way down to the nearby Manhattan McDonald's restaurant at 160 Broadway -- a spot which the protesters have frequented in order to use the shithouse.

But Bughousebeh apparently had a lot more on his mind than just taking a little tinkle. It seems he was hungry. And then some. So being that he was in a fast food joint and all, he naturally went up to the counter and asked for some grub.

Only problem? No jack in the Bughousebeh's leftist coffers. But a pesky little thing like having no money to pay for goods or services rendered will never stop a good violent leftist worth his salt. So Bughousebeh allegedly demanded that the joint serve him up his Big Mac and fries for free -- or else.

But since McDonald's is one of those greedy businesses whose principal aim in life is to -- you know -- make money, the burger joint said no-can-do to Bughousebeh's demand for free eats. And that was apparently not quite the answer Bughousebeh was looking to receive.

Cops say the psycho protester then went completely bonkers, ripping a credit card reader right out of its socket and hurling that terrible symbol of American corporate greed right at the same minimum wage McDonald's workers who had refused him his free meal. Hasn't this kooky burger craver ever heard the phrase, "There's no such thing as a free lunch"?

Well, no free lunch unless you're in the hoosegow, of course -- a different kind of joint where Bughousebeh may have to be taking some of his future meals after cops busted his creepy ass on a charge of criminal mischief. He should feel right at home there.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/11/05/occupy-wall-street-protester-throws-violent-fit-in-mcdonalds-when-denied-free/
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/camper_mac_attack_IErwi9aOGMCPDdYJw2WcyI

Where Can I Sign Up? Deranged Hobo Goes on "Violent Rampage" at occupy wall street Before an Even Crazier Protester Punches Him Out!

If I'd known there would be this kind of high entertainment at the "occupy wall street" protests, I might have gone out and joined the leftist 20 percenters! At the Big Apple version of the protests in Zuccotti Park in Manhattan, a "deranged homeless man" reportedly went on a "violent, early-morning rampage" late this week, "cursing incoherently and kicking down tents" (link to full story at bottom).

The demented hobo -- named Jeremy Clinch (pictured above) -- was apparently all pissed off that others had tents and he didn't: "I haven't got a tent! I've been here for three months, and I haven't been able to sleep," the "unhinged vagrant" reportedly ranted before going on the warpath.

After allegedly taking out his frustrations on a gaggle of tents at the protest as a part of his "Godzilla-like rampage," this crazed bum next whipped out his best Mills Lane impersonation and reportedly issued a challenge to anyone on hand: "You want to fight? You want to get fucked up? Let's get in on! Let's get it on!"

Only problem? This homeless oddball's challenge was very quickly answered by an even more depraved monster at the protest. Inside one of the mauled tents was a sleeping protester named Recai "Rocky" Iskender (also known as The Turk), who was apparently none too happy about the maniacal tramp's antics.

A video of the incident shows the bald, hulking Turk first getting out of his tent and tossing a big water jug at the creepy vagabond. Then the Turk clocked the lunatic hobo right in the kisser with a big left hook that floored the nutty nomad in one punch.

And not to be outdone by the sick stinkpot's earlier pronouncements, the Turk went on a little rant of his own, incomprehensibly accusing NYC Mayor Bloomberg of recruiting the hobo Clinch as an "agent" to go down and disrupt the protests by raisin' a ruckus. Now, I personally would have blamed the hobo's actions on Bush or that bad portion of the bankers, millionaires and billionaires which doesn't bankroll the democrat party, but that's just me.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57318571-504083/crazed-homeless-man-starts-rampage-at-occupy-wall-street-protest-in-zuccotti-park/
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/goons_occupy_brawl_street_MuFbzuYYRoEkjw9RZ5xcSM

Of All People, Justin Bieber Banged THIS?No Wonder He Was Out of That Shithouse in 30 Seconds Flat! And What Might Selena Gomez Be Thinking?

This is not by design. It really isn't Shithouse Week in the TIR. Instead, it just so happens that the best stories the past few days have both had, coincidentally, a shithouse right in the middle of them. Go figure...

And so it is that Justin Bieber's alleged baby mama -- 20-year-old Mariah Yeater (pictured at the top) -- has come forward late this week with even more too-much-information concerning her alleged sex romp with America's #1 Teen Idol (link to full story at bottom). But before going any further: WTF already? This broad? Were his long bangs causing him to suffer from momentary blindness at the time?

Not sayin' this Yeater exactly laps water out of a bowl, but c'mon! A famous punk like Bieber could be doing the Rebecca Jessops of the world. Hell, his old play partner -- the below-pictured Kim Kardashian -- is even back on the market. Shit, he's already dating Selena Gomez for chrissakes!

So what's with the trailer park special? Which raises a real question: Maybe, just maybe, this Yeater ain't being so honest in her little story. Ya think?

Regardless, Yeater says that Bieber knocked her up on a "shelf" inside a shithouse at LA's Staples Center on October 25, 2010 AD. "On July 6, 2011 [AD], I gave birth to a baby boy," her story continues. And now she says she won't let Bieber keep her on the shelf any longer. More on that in a minute...

Yeater also says Bieber cursed up a storm during their encounter and claimed it was his "first time" -- which he allegedly cited as a reason for wanting to go ungloved. Yeater also claims that Bieber went Jim Levenstein on her trashy ass, finishing his business inside of 30 damn seconds!

Yeater is now demanding a paternity test from Bieber, but she says she'll probably only "need" about $12,000 per month in child support to take care of the needs of her little shit. That's only about $150,000 per year, BTW.

But is that much really necessary, what with the democrat party these days pushing for the federal government to provide free diapers for little tikes? Well, I guess there is baby formula to think about too (assuming this dame doesn't breastfeed). But I digress.

Finally, two additional points on the legal side of things here. First, Bieber's lawyer says that Yeater's story is "malicious, defamatory and demonstrably false." Fair enough, but why must lawyers always stick an adjective in front of words like "false"? Something's either false or it isn't. Trying to spruce it up with words like "demonstrably," "patently," or "unabashedly" really adds nothing to the case.

Second, Yeater might want to hope and pray that her story is, in fact, "demonstrably false," since she could be in a world of legal hurt if it turns out to be true. That's because, as reported in the New York Post, "Yeater's claim of having sex with [Bieber] when he was just 16 and she was 19 leaves her open to prosecution for statutory rape" in Cali. D'oh!

Looks like she definitely picked the wrong teen idol to take into the shithouse (if her story's true). Weren't there any 18-year-old teen idols out there and available? And if the story's true, what kind of individual admits committing a felony just to have her five minutes of fame? Well, a 20-something in the sad sight that is 2011 AD America, that's who. You really needed to ask?

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/bieber_baby_bimbo_blabbing_iSgRLSKzIIMFPb7kvrkcOM

Snappin' Pics w/ Porn Stars & Going Down on Some Dude in the Shithouse While Hubby Watches (Allegedly): If THIS Is the Wealthy Life, You Can Keep It!

They're the "multi-millionaire couple behind the Gadget Shop chain," and working with all those stupid little gizmos all the time must really bore the hell out of them or something. Because why else would a couple want to lead a crazy-ass lifestyle that allegedly makes Charlie Sheen and Tiger Woods look like the Pope?

They're in the pictures immediately above and below -- 44-year-old Chris Gorman and his 43-year-old blonde wife (and mother of four) Mary Gorman. The Scottish couple reportedly loves to party it up in the States as if their gadgets were going out of style, as seen on the various pictures on Mary's Facebook page taken with celebrities such as George Clooney and singers Alesha Dixon and Ronan Keating.

But it ain't all exactly what you'd call Glitz & Glamour. On that Facebook page, you can spot Mary partying down with boisterously bosomy porn star Rebecca Jessop (the big 'un, in more ways than one, shown in the black top and red belt in the picture at the very top above). And then there's the little reality porn film acted out in the shithouse at an Orlando nightclub recently (allegedly):

In particular, cops say that Chris and Mary hit Orlando's Roxy Club for a "tawdry liaison in [the] nightclub toilet" involving "a sordid tryst with another man while [Chris] watched." Good Grief.

Cops say this sad state of affairs went down (literally) in "a locked cubicle in the men's toilets at the Roxy Club" -- ironically itself a joint frequented by local resident Tiger Woods in the past.

The act allegedly involved Mary "performing a sex act on an unnamed man while her husband watched." According to the police report: "As we entered the men's restroom, I noticed the stall was locked. Once the stall door opened, the white male was watching defendant [Mary] Gorman performing a sex act on the black male."

Apparently none too happy that cops broke up this little game of tonsil hockey in the middle of the second period (allegedly), Mary reportedly took a swipe at the cops when they tried to get her to leave the shitter stall. Cops also say they found some blow of a different type in Mary's purse.

Now hubby's next spectator event may be watching his Gadget Queen getting hauled off to the hoosegow, as Mary Gorman now faces charges of battery on a cop and cocaine possession. Which begs the question:

You mean to tell me that sans the nose candy and taking a poke at the cops, she would have otherwise walked away "Scot free" (again, literally), even after being caught with the kilt down and blowin' the bagpipe inside a public crapper (allegedly)? I thought talking on the bonophone in public was still illegal these days unless you're at an "occupy wall street" protest. What gives?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2056084/The-Gadget-Shop-millionaire-Chris-Gorman-wife-Mary-arrested-US.html


Postscript: For anyone who may be interested, a few pictures of the aforementioned Ms. Jessop and her Robust Rebecca Rack are set forth below. BTW, finding clean pics of this plus-sized porn broad sure ain't easy (although apparently she has been checked out on how to properly operate a skid steer):

gop-er Group Sends Out "Zombie Obama" & "Zombie Pelosi" Halloween E-mail; Draws Secret Service Scrutiny. This Sort of Thing is SO Inappropriate...

That'll do it, alright: Send around so-called "artwork" showing the individual we currently have as president with a hole in his head, and you're sure to garner the Secret Service all over your ass like stinkbugs on a Mississippi shithouse. And that's precisely what happened this week to a republic partisan group in Loudoun County, Virginia...

The "Zombie Obama" and "Zombie Pelosi" images were included in an e-mail on Monday "to advertise the Loudoun County gop presence at a parade that evening." The rather silly e-mail read: "We are going to vanquish the zombies with clear thinking conservative principles and a truckload of republican candy."

The outrage, the outrage, cried Virginia partisans on both sides, quickly prompting the local gop-er group to issue the patented non-apology apology for anyone who might have been offended. Meantime a spokesman for the Secret Service says the Men in Black are "aware of the situation." (Always an ominous pronouncement by a federale licensed to carry firearms on the job)

And for the record, I agree with the democrat party and republic partisan partisans in terms of their opinion that this sort of thing "has no place. Ever" (statement from VA gop-er chairman). In short, keep your damn politics, ideologies and slimeball politicians the hell out of my beloved zombie realm! And that goes for both damn sides! To wit...

I don't want to see a "Zombie Obama" on one of my favorite TV shows, "The Walking Dead," going around spouting cliches about how the living need to pay more of their fair share to the zombies. I don't want to see "Zombie Pelosi" (which is actually a fairly accurate likeness of San Fran Nan) stumbling around the next George Romero zombie-fest telling us that we have to pass a zombie reform bill in order to find out what's in it.

Likewise, I don't want to see a "Zombie Palin" in Planet Terror Part II firing off rifle blasts from the end of her hacked off leg while she spouts "you betcha" catchphrases every second line. Nor do I want to see anytime soon a "Zombie W" in Resident Evil land trying to mobilize zombies everywhere to start ill-advised wars in the name of spreading zombie-ocracy throughout the world.

In sum, there are just certain sacred areas into which these two scuzbait parties and the slimes that inhabit them should never tread. If it's zombies today, then what's tomorrow? It just better not be gangster films, or I'm really gonna get pissed off over here.

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/politics/Zombie-Obama-Image-Provokes-Outrage-in-Virginia-132969483.html?dr
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/11/01/local-virginia-gop-group-apologizes-for-zombie-obama-email/

Just Call Him "Lucky Guns": gop-er Pres Candidate Rick Perry Makes Ass of Himself, But Gets Pass in the Face of Herman Cain Sex Harassment Allegations

Sounds like deranged right-winger presidential candidate Rick Perry was either drunk off his ass or all doped up on something Friday night (pictures above and below). Speaking to a right-winger group called "Cornerstone Action" in New Hampshire, the George W clone "put on strange voices" and flailed his arms around in the air like a fool, as if he was "drunk or on some form of medication."

The accounts of Perry's zany speech also describe it as "unusually expressive, rambling and sometimes even incoherent." Which, for me, begs an obvious question: Given those descriptions, how was the New Hampshire speech much, if any, different from Perry's pathetic gop-er presidential debate performances?

Dude needs a professional speech therapist. He can put together nary a sentence without some awkward long pause right in the middle of it. He stutters and stammers around more than Kansas basketball coach Bill Self reciting "Peter Piper." Chalk it up to booze or medication, if you will, but I've a different theory: The guy just ain't too bright, and he's certainly not presidential material. Not when he makes his Texas contemporary, W Bush, look like FDR at the podium.

But Perry still might be luckier than the wood discarded after they notch the seater hole in a Texas shithouse. That's because the "mainstream" media seemingly forgot very quickly about the Perry speech in light of allegations that his right-winger rival Herman Cain sexually harassed two women in the 1990s AD.

The Cain story was a part of a four-person byline "exclusive" by politico.com Sunday (based upon vague, non-specific accusations by anonymous sources), which also begs a question of its own: How many members of the left-advocating "mainstream" media does it take to screw a rather pedestrian "sex" story into a website article template? Politico next time just needs to find a Goon or a Center, and it can field a decent hockey or basketball team for its next piece of tabloid fodder.

But all half-joking around aside, I'm wondering why politico.com wouldn't save a story like this for the general election, when it could be much more devastating to the gop-er chances of beating that individual we currently have for president in 2012 AD...

I can only surmise either (1) politico (a distinctly left-leaning media outlet the past few years) thought some other media outlet was about the jump on the story, necessitating that they go ahead and run with it or (2) politico (like many others) thinks Cain has little or no chance at the right-winger nomination, and so saving the story would waste it.

Regardless, the Cain item -- if it sticks and lingers (and it may well not) -- does threaten to derail the so-called "Cain Train" in rather Short Line order (I still have Monopoly on the brain from last week). Which would likewise make the collapsing Perry campaign the luckiest one on earth this week:

Not only does the hapless Texas governor get a pass for his Friday speech, but now he may just jump right back towards contention in the right-winger primary race. Pays off a lot better to be lucky than good, I guess. And BTW, I just hope he lays off the booze and meds when he's firing off them sidearms.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1011/67194.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2055668/Rick-Perry-bizarre-video-shows-rambling-incoherent-Governor.html

Precisely Why I Personally Shy Away from Keeping a Guillotine Around the House: You Might Get a Body Part Hacked Off, Like This Fool in Washington...

Homemade cutting and sawing contraptions often have a lot of utility in our everyday lives. Nothing like a good sawhorse out in the garage. Or maybe a makeshift log splitter or wood chipper out in the back. But since neither I nor most people are employed as either an executioner or a French Revolutionary, I've always stayed away from the whole home guillotine thing, myself. But not so for one Bellingham, Washington man this week...

Cops there say the local man for some reason felt compelled to construct a homemade guillotine, with an ultra-sharp drop blade and all. The Real McCoy, you might say, as if this real-life Sydney Carton had perhaps read Charles Dickens' "A Tale of Two Cities" one too many times in the past.

Even in the best of times, of course, the primary issue with owning your own guillotine is the pesky nature of those things to chop off pert near any bodily appendange with which the giant blade might happen to come in contact. Which brings us back to the homemade guillotine freak in Washington...

It seems he was fully aware of the health risks of sticking one's neck inside a guillotine. No way was he ever gonna give that a whirl. But since no one's ever heard of an arm getting sliced off by a guillotine, perhaps that little danger just never occurred to the guy?

Regardless, his guillotine "unexpectedly dropped on his shoulder Thursday morning," which completely severed his arm off. And apparently this guy thought that a little more than just his arm had been hacked off, since his first move after the incident was to make a beeline to the nearest urology clinic. (You just can't make this stuff up).

And while I'm sure the clinic would have been happy to reattach his package, that simply wasn't the appendage at issue here. Obviously not used to seeing severed arm victims at the urology clinic very often, a woman at the clinic reportedly looked at the man's armless shoulder and told him, "I hope that's just a Halloween costume." Said another worker: "It was a sight."

After the man was finished entertaining the clinic staff, they finally got him headed in the right direction -- calling 9-1-1 to take him two blocks down the street to the nearest hospital. Meantime cops were able to return to the scene and retrieve both the chopped off limb and the guillotine.

No word whether doctors were able to reattach the arm, but the cops have reportedly "dismantled" the guillotine. Curmudgeons. No revolutionary spirit at all, even with all the "occupy" protests going on! After making a punk play like that, these cops better watch out for Madame Defarge and her crew showing up down there to storm the pokey.

http://seattle.cbslocal.com/2011/10/28/not-a-halloween-costume-washington-man-cuts-off-arm-with-guillotine/

Monopoly Madness: "Yes, I Fucked Him Up!" Crazed Woman Allegedly Slashes Up Her Old Man for Cheating at the Popular Board Game!

Is THIS the depths to which we've sunk in Obama's America, 2011 AD? Where damn Parker Brothers board and dice games are leading to slice-and-dice assaults on a regular basis? First it was the recent story of the Yahtzee game that got dicey, and now some broad in New Mexico allegedly went Jason Voorhees on her old man for "cheating" at Monopoly!

As I did with the Yahtzee item, I can only ponder what the suspected "cheating" might have entailed: I betcha this boyfriend landed on Free Parking and snagged all the dough even though his dice roll should have put his little Thimble a spot short. Been there, done that.

Either that, or he was acting as the Banker and gave himself a little Wall Street bonus on the sly after he passed GO. Or he could have just been trying to charge too much rent after the old lady landed on Oriental Avenue. (BTW, shouldn't that be "Asian Avenue"?)

But regardless of what it was, the pictured 60-year-old Laura Chavez was in no mood to give her boyfriend Butch a blow under the Boardwalk. Instead, she turned into a different kind of Janis Soprano and pulled a Richie Aprile on her old man's cheatin' ass -- first clocking him one right in the kisser with a glass bottle (allegedly).

And since a good bottle shot can only do so much damage, this demented dame (allegedly) naturally upped the ante and gave the old man the full Water Works -- grabbing a knife and hacking up her beau about the head, neck and breast like she was trying to break into the Community Chest (allegedly). (OK, I made up the breast part).

Butch is just lucky he didn't receive an Atlantic City scalping like the one doled out by Richard the Fake Face Guy on last week's episode of "Boardwalk Empire." Regardless, cops found Butchie bloodied and battered when they arrived, while his old lady casually sat out on the front porch "covered" in her old man's blood.

When asked by cops if that was Butch's blood all over her hide, she snorted: "Yes, I fucked him up!" Apparently for good measure, Chavez also took to trying to give a Baltic Avenue beatdown to one of the cops, since she now faces a charge of battery on a law enforcement officer in addition to aggravated battery on her old man.

And just like an unfortunate roll of the dice or the wrong card from Chance pile, cops took Chavez to jail -- "directly to jail" -- where she's being held "in lieu of $5000 bond (or until she rolls doubles)." (You gotta love The Smoking Gun; link at bottom).

If ultimately convicted of her alleged crimes, they'll undoubtedly have to transport Chavez from the local lockup to the state hoosegow. No word whether it'll be the Reading or the B&O Railroad that's utilized for the transfer. Butch may show up there too, but he'll be Just Visiting, of course.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/assault/new-mexico-monopoly-stabbing-976532