Homemade cutting and sawing contraptions often have a lot of utility in our everyday lives. Nothing like a good sawhorse out in the garage. Or maybe a makeshift log splitter or wood chipper out in the back. But since neither I nor most people are employed as either an executioner or a French Revolutionary, I've always stayed away from the whole home guillotine thing, myself. But not so for one Bellingham, Washington man this week...Cops there say the local man for some reason felt compelled to construct a homemade guillotine, with an ultra-sharp drop blade and all. The Real McCoy, you might say, as if this real-life Sydney Carton had perhaps read Charles Dickens' "A Tale of Two Cities" one too many times in the past.
Even in the best of times, of course, the primary issue with owning your own guillotine is the pesky nature of those things to chop off pert near any bodily appendange with which the giant blade might happen to come in contact. Which brings us back to the homemade guillotine freak in Washington...It seems he was fully aware of the health risks of sticking one's neck inside a guillotine. No way was he ever gonna give that a whirl. But since no one's ever heard of an arm getting sliced off by a guillotine, perhaps that little danger just never occurred to the guy?
Regardless, his guillotine "unexpectedly dropped on his shoulder Thursday morning," which completely severed his arm off. And apparently this guy thought that a little more than just his arm had been hacked off, since his first move after the incident was to make a beeline to the nearest urology clinic. (You just can't make this stuff up).And while I'm sure the clinic would have been happy to reattach his package, that simply wasn't the appendage at issue here. Obviously not used to seeing severed arm victims at the urology clinic very often, a woman at the clinic reportedly looked at the man's armless shoulder and told him, "I hope that's just a Halloween costume." Said another worker: "It was a sight."
After the man was finished entertaining the clinic staff, they finally got him headed in the right direction -- calling 9-1-1 to take him two blocks down the street to the nearest hospital. Meantime cops were able to return to the scene and retrieve both the chopped off limb and the guillotine.No word whether doctors were able to reattach the arm, but the cops have reportedly "dismantled" the guillotine. Curmudgeons. No revolutionary spirit at all, even with all the "occupy" protests going on! After making a punk play like that, these cops better watch out for Madame Defarge and her crew showing up down there to storm the pokey.
http://seattle.cbslocal.com/2011/10/28/not-a-halloween-costume-washington-man-cuts-off-arm-with-guillotine/
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