Stir It Up! Singer Patti LaBelle Allegedly Shows New Attitude & Goes Whacko, Tossing Water in a Toddler's Face & Throwing a Punch at the Pregnant Mom!

She never sounded so angry like this in her music! She's known for her long string of U.S. R&B and Dance chart hits spanning four decades (many of which I've recited below), including a personal favorite of mine ("Stir It Up") and other top hits like "New Attitude" and "Lady Marmalade." And, apparently, whatever you do: Don't let your little shit run around unattended if Miss Patti is around (allegedly)!

A new lawsuit claims the whole freakish incident went down in an apartment lobby in the Upper West-Side of Manhattan in the Big Apple. A woman named Roseanna Monk says she put down her 18-month-old daughter Genevieve momentarily so that mama (a kindergarten teacher) could be "On My Own" and take some luggage out the building. And when the 67-year-old LaBelle happened into the lobby and spied the little tike scurrying around, all hell broke loose from there (allegedly)!

It's not at all clear what set LaBelle off, but maybe she was down in that lobby looking for "The Right Kind of Lover" and instead found a rotten little brat on the loose, who knows. Regardless, LaBelle first allegedly chastised mama openly, telling her: "What are doing letting your kid run around like that?"

That's when mama says she made the mistake of giving a bit of sass to the soul diva, responding to LaBelle: "I have no interest in what you say or think." (Mouthing off to one of these divas -- not bright -- mama should've known "Something Special's Gonna Happen Tonight" right there and then).

Yep. Wrong thing to say to LaBelle, apparently, as the singer -- reportedly decked out in a giant fur coat and over-sized sunglasses -- allegedly started letting the obscenities fly, as she cursed up a storm and hurled a string of profanities in the direction of mama and little baby. "Oh People!"

Perhaps not feeling that her nasty message was getting through so well, LaBelle for good measure also allegedly yanked out a big water bottle and started spraying it right in the little tot's kisser! (No word whether also LaBelle crooned "(When) You've Been Blessed" during her alleged liquid lash-out).

And being that she's a showbiz gal, what great performance would be complete with a big encore? So LaBelle next allegedly took a damn swing at the mama, who just happens to be pregnant, BTW. Mama also alleges the whole ruckus made little Genevieve cry and puke right there on the spot, but that's not even the half of it...

Mama says no way she could just "Kiss Away the Pain" this debacle caused to baby, as mama's lawsuit alleges the entire incident traumatized the baby so much that she "hasn't been the same since and suffers from personality changes, sleeping disorders and increased fear of strangers." But now the "Shoe Is on the Other Foot," as mama just wants her "(New) Day" in court.

Mama says she was prompted to sue LaBelle's water-chucking, fist-swinging ass (allegedly) when she read about an incident in Houston earlier this year in which LaBelle's entourage allegedly beat the hell out of a West Point cadet faster than the cadet could scream, "Yo Mister."

At any rate, these various events make me want to get a hold of LaBelle's itinerary so that I can see when the next fight's gonna break out. "Feels Like Another One" any day now, "If You Ask Me (To)." After all, I "Love, Need and Want" some action over here.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_PEOPLE_PATTI_LABELLE?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2011-11-14-19-11-29
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2061879/Soul-sister-gone-wild-Patti-LaBelle-screamed-toddler-threw-water-childs-face--swung-punch-pregnant-mother.html

Ms. Laurie, Let Me Tear Down Your Wall: New Book Accuses Ronald Reagan of Being a Cheap Hamburger Date and a "Rude, Insensitive Show-off" in Bed...

As an Independent, I always love mentioning or talking about Reagan, because it's damn sure to piss somebody off. He's one of the most polarizing political figures of my lifetime. He's held up as the Great Hero of American Conservatism by the gop-ers even though he'd have little place today in a republic partisan party that's swung way to the right, even by Reagan's standards (they'd primary Reagan's ass today)...

Leftist 20 percenters, meantime, hate Reagan with every fiber of their being, but yet will invoke disingenuous comparisons between themselves and Reagan whenever they can (see the individual we currently have as president) -- primarily just to get the goat of the deranged right-wingers. In short, Reagan's a complete lightning rod. Therefore, let's talk about Reagan!

A new book by old-time Hollywood starlet Piper Laurie doesn't exactly paint the most flattering picture of the "Ol' Gipper." He was old enough (39) to be the 19-year-old Laurie's father -- so much so that he actually played her old man in the 1950 film Louisa (pictured at the top). The two first met on the film set in the years before Reagan's marriage to his second wife and future First Lady, Nancy Davis.

According to Laurie's new book, "Learning to Live Out Loud," the old guy Reagan got off to a decent start in their September-May romance by first checking with her daddy to see if it would be OK for Reagan to take Laurie out on the town. Only problem? When daddy said yes, Reagan did nothing of the sort, instead taking the "perky starlet" Laurie straight back to his joint and feeding her some cheap hamburgers.

Apparently no sooner than Laurie could barely dab the ketchup and mustard from her mouth, the book says Reagan was whisking away the 19-year-old virgin into the next room for a little Bedtime for Bonzo. And indeed, much like the chimpanzee, the old guy (according to Laurie) was a "'show-off' who had sex 'without grace.'"

Having now taken the young girl's virginity, Reagan reportedly chided Laurie after the fact by criticizing her for not "having orgasms" during their rough romp in the sack. He next reportedly started bragging up his staying power (which he had apparently timed on the clock), reciting to the stunned Laurie that he had officially kept it up and gone at it with her for 40 minutes flat, according to the book. (If only he'd have paid that kind of attention during the Iran Contra Scandal.)

Laurie says that when she complained that Reagan nonetheless had failed to satisfy her, he really started to take her to task as if he was in the middle of a bad episode of "Death Valley Days": "There's something wrong with you. You've got to see a doctor," Reagan reportedly ranted at her.

Just for good measure, Laurie says Reagan then started bragging up how much he had paid for the condom he'd used -- "in a crass attempt to prove his point." I just wish Reagan had come up with his Strategic Defense Initiative ("Star Wars") idea about 30 years earlier. Sounds like the young broads in Hollywood could have really used it when it came to dealing with him.

http://zeenews.india.com/news/world/reagan-lasted-for-40-minutes-in-bed-piper-laurie_741782.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2061105/Piper-Laurie-claims-Ronald-Reagan-bed.html

Reading Between the Sheets: Cali School Reportedly Has Porn Star Sasha Grey Conduct "Story Time" with the First Graders!

"Mommy, Mommy, we had fun today at school! It was strawberry milk day. And my book order came in. And little Hector farted in the lunchroom. And Mr. Grooms' hair fell off his head. And we had show and tell. Oh yeah, and a porn star read us a real funny story..."

She's been called the "Kobe Bryant" of porn -- one of the more successful porn actresses of recent vintage and known for taking porn roles that other porn ladies have refused. And, for some unknown reason, Emerson Elementary School in Compton, California reportedly brought her in to hold a special story time with the first graders recently (link at bottom). I guess they felt she could blow some real spirit and enthusiasm into the time-honored tradition.

And lest there be any questions concerning Ms. Grey's qualifications to be spouting children's literature to the little shits at Emerson, check out the below short form of her resume, which includes some 150 porn films over the last five years since she turned 18. Here are ten of her more well-known titles, in alphabetical order:

1. Apprentass 10 (co-starring Chris Charming)
2. Blow Me Sandwich (co-starring Johnny Sins)
3. Bring'um Young 23 (co-starring Buster Good)
4. Buttman's Stretch Class 2 (co-starring Velicity Von)
5. Face Invaders 4 (co-starring Chris Cannon & Courtney Cummz)
6. Gang Bang My Face (co-starring Wade Hardman & Lee Bang)
7. Hairy Movie (co-starring Mr. Pete)
8. House of Ass 3 (& 7) (co-starring Jassie & Aurora Snow)
9. Meet the F*ckers (co-starring James Deen)
10. Swallow My Children (co-starring Mike Hash & Dirty Harry)

So this porn broad can really bring the goods. Moot issue there. But the 10,000 pound elephant in the room -- unaddressed in the linked news story -- is which children's story, precisely, this nasty little number screamed at the little tots. Here are my ten best guesses as to which book this porn queen might have trotted out for the young tikes:

10. Pippi Longdonging

9. I Hopped on Pop

8. Gimme-The-Pooh (Tang)

7. Oh, the Places It'll Go!

6. Peter and the MILF

5. Bi-Curious Georgia

4. Rump-L-Foreskin

3. Slurping Beauty

2. Knockin' Puss 'n Boots

1. Teen Legs & Ham

BTW, while I might have guessed and included on this list "Malice in Lalaland," that's actually one of Sasha Grey's porn titles and not a children's book at all. So that's one I know we can rule out over here.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2060429/Porn-star-Sasha-Grey-invited-school-read-graders.html

"DEATH, DISEASE PLAGUE 'OCCUPY' PROTESTS"...

...and that's just in the port-a-potty.

http://www.ajc.com/news/nation-world/22-deaths-at-occupy-1222623.html
http://www.ksl.com/?nid=1070&sid=18042323&title=man-found-dead-in-tent-at-pioneer-park
http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2011/11/10/tuberculosis-breaks-out-at-occupy-atlantas-base/

"OOPS, I forgot": Why Rick Perry's Now Infamous "Oops" Moment in Wednesday's gop-er Debate May Really Suck for the democrat party...

It was the most painful thing I've ever watched in a political event on this large of a stage (links at bottom). Not only did dimwitted deranged right-winger presidential candidate Rick Perry forget the name of the third federal department that he claims he intends to cut if he becomes president. That was bad enough. Worst yet, however, was him stuttering and stammering around for some 50 plus seconds trying to recall the name (which he never did). Ouch-O-Bama!

But as noted at the top, this has the potential to really suck for the leftist 20 percenters and their democrat party. That's because it may result in Perry getting the hell out of the race a lot earlier than would have otherwise occurred. Perry is sitting on tens of millions of dollars in campaign funds, and the prevailing thought in political circles has been that he will spend every dime of that money mostly beating up likely gop-er nominee Mitt Romney in television ads for months to come.

Even before Wednesday's debate, Perry had virtually no chance at the republic partisan nomination, but he was still poised to stay in it for the long haul and do a lot of damage to Romney in the meantime by using all that money. Now, however, the possibility of Perry staying in the race much longer seems very much in peril. In other words, he may soon take his money and slink back to the Texas shithouse from whence he crawled several months ago.

If that occurs, it very much inures to the detriment of the democrat party, which was looking forward to Perry and his money hammering likely gop-er nominee Romney over the head for several months to come. The leftist 20 percenters who control the democrat party might want to say to themselves today, "OOPS, maybe Rick Perry's stumble wasn't quite so funny the other night."

http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/11/10/8735059-first-thoughts-brain-freeze
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2059928/Damage-control-Rick-Perry-embarks-media-blitz-vows-debate-flop-wont-end-campaign.html

Menage 'a Trouble: "Threesome Goes Awry" and Allegedly Leads Florida Man to Attack Wife & Second Woman with a Damn Television Set!

You don't have to be that mullet-headed redneck dude from Office Space for it be your ultimate man-dream: It's called getting a couple of broads to double up on ya. The threesome. The meat sandwich. The triumvirate. The Fanny Jaffle. Or most famously: The menage a trois. But every bored man's dream allegedly turned into a triple-headed nightmare for one Naples, Florida man and his two prospective clam cousins this week...

Cops say the event actually got off to a beautiful start, with Jorge Daniel Silva (mugshot above) jumping in the sack with his wife and a second woman after the threesome got all liquored up on alcohol. Some lovely making out between the trifecta jumped off from there, but that's when this little threeway freeway suddenly got jammed up worse than this year's Camaro Day on the Kansas Turnpike.

Before he could even so much as start playing the piano or request a downhill double dip, Jorge allegedly flew into an complete rage and "freaked out" during the opening gambit smooch session of this makeshift French Connection. Really ticked off for some reason, Jorge first allegedly started pounding his old lady right in the mush, which prompted to two ladies to scurry away and take cover in a spare bedroom.

But it was gonna take a lot more than just a little locked door to stop this trio-spurning sleazejam. Cops says hubby broke the door down and took to "swinging a TV" at the old lady "like a bat." Jorge allegedly clocked wifey twice with the boob tube before dropping the box right on top of her just for good measure.

The television now apparently destroyed, cops say Jorge would not be deterred, as he simply grabbed a second television in the house and threw that one at the old lady too (allegedly). When the third piece of this clambake trinity tried to intervene, Jorge allegedly started giving the second woman a good beatdown as well!

But as one might expect, hubby ain't without a couple of defenses over there. First, he says the only reason he got mad was because the two ladies were smoochin' it up and wouldn't let him split any wood or get in on the action. The party poopers. No wonder he want "occupy wall street" on their trizzy asses (allegedly).

Second, he says the only reason he did a King Kong on the bedroom door was because he thought the two ladies had run in there to start having sex without him. Of course, as I'm sure he'd maintain, he never considered that their disappearing act might have resulted from him trying to turn wifey's head into a moose burger back in the couple's bedroom.

Regardless, cops eventually arrived at the house to find the old lady covered in blood, with a face that looked like a hot-air balloon with the basket missing, not to mention a broken schnoz. They busted Jorge on felony battery charges, meaning his next tryst in triplicate may have to be the 3-boy, corn-cob tripod variety deep inside the state hoosegow. But what's he gonna do for a TV in there?

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/Naples-Man-Charged-With-Battering-Wife-After-Threesome-Takes-Wrong-Turn-133458933.html

Far From Being "99%," Here's Why the occupy wall streeters Are Nothing More Than Leftist 20 Percenters...

This blog invented the term "leftist 20 percenter" long before the "occupy wall street" effort was even a brain fart for some spoiled trust fund leftist sitting in daddy's mansion in Georgetown. The phrase was not a response to the ludicrous "occupy" claim that such "movement" represents 99% of the country. Instead, I coined that term a full year or two before the first stinky "occupy" leftist ever took his first shit on a cop car in Zuccotti Park.

The origin of "leftist 20 percenter" is simple: About 20% of the American population inhabits the American far left that bankrolls and controls the leftist democrat party. This is the 20% of the country that calls itself "liberal" or "progressive" or -- even in some instances -- "socialist" (credit Lawrence O'Donnell for at least being honest) and "communist." They are a tiny little minority, and yet they wield such incredible power, which is frequently used to govern directly against the will of the American people (see, e.g., the Obama health care monstrosity) -- as we've so often seen during the Obama regime.

Still, this remains a center-right country, and even an avalanche of Obama executive orders can't change that. The deranged right-wingers who control the republic partisan party and call themselves "conservatives" make up about 40% of the country. The remaining 40% or so is comprised of us Independents as well as so-called "moderates," meaning people who have an allegiance to one of the two rotten political parties but yet don't consider themselves either leftist or "conservative."

These numbers have held true for years and are only confirmed by a new Gallup Poll from this week (link at bottom). According to the poll, 21% of the American population is comprised of "self-professed liberals," while 42% of the population calls itself "conservative." The rest are the Independents and self-described "moderates" (just under 40% total).

So in case you were wondering how the leftists went overnight from representing only 20% of the American population to suddenly representing "99%," that of course never happened. That's nothing more than a propaganda talking point.

The occupy wall streeters remain what they and their fellow leftist 20 percenters have always been -- a loony fringe of American society reflected by the modern democrat party and the incredibly powerful interest groups that prop it up. The leftist 20 percenters ain't gonna go away anytime soon, to be frank, but let's also not live under any illusions as to whom they are and whom they really represent. Which isn't very many people.

http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/gallup-poll-conservatives-42-liberals-21

American Leftist 20 Percenters Identify New Enemy: The "Super Old." Meantime, "occupy wall street" Ponders Name Change to "Ossify Hospice Hill"...

...All this in reaction to startling news this week AD that "U.S. young-old wealth gap worse than ever: Typical U.S. household with head over age 64 has net worth 47 times greater than household headed by someone under 35."

Forget class warfare. That focus may soon be shifting to octogenarian opposition. Codger cage match. Old timer tussle. Never thought I'd see the day when "daily kos" and "move on" may actually team up with Paul Ryan's ongoing crusade to toss Greedy Ol' Grams off the cliff.

Damn pesky old people and their savings. We need to find a way to tap into that. Redistribute. Fairness. Equality. Plus, they're just real old. After all, why should some gray-haired geriatric's old grizzled hide have more in his savings account than Warren Buffet's 20-something secretary?

You will pay your fair share, old people -- or we'll occupy your freakin' rest homes, eat all of your mac'n'cheese and jello, and give your shithouses a whole meaning for the word stench. Buck up, you broken down old battle axes, or else. We Are the 20 Percenters. And we have really bad B.O. (not to mention his full backing).

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/07/us-wealth-gap-young-old_n_1079372.html
http://lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/11/04/8639405-downturn-takes-heaviest-toll-on-younger-americans
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57319521/u.s-young-old-wealth-gap-worse-than-ever/?tag=cbsnewsSectionContent.9

"A Further Blow to the One-Time Darling of Reality TV"? Kate Gosselin Accused of Bad Mothering After Sitting By as 1 of her 8 Crawls Under Her Minivan

You tell me if things have really gotten that bad for Kate Gosselin: Yes, her long-running reality show was cancelled in August and she's since been forced to take up employment as a "coupon blogger" on a website called CouponCabin.com. But she still apparently has paparazzi chasing her and her 8 all over the place, meaning she's still far from being out of sight or mind. Latest example:

A story this weekend (link at bottom) has a child safety group expressing "outrage" after one of Kate's brood was seen rummaging around underneath her minivan as mom sat idly by in the driver's seat. The little shit was apparently trying to retrieve some homework he had dropped as he tried to get into mom's minivan after school. Kate, there to pick up the 8, reportedly never got out of the minivan and did nothing as her son burrowed his way around underneath.

Some broad at the child safety group KidsAndCars.org is none too happy, referring to the minivan as a "lethal weapon" under which "having children crawling around is not prudent."

Of course, in contrast, it's highly prudent to have a bunch of paparazzi always tailing this motley crew around like butt smell on an Alabama shithouse. That could never lead to any safety issues, now could it?

Regardless, as long as she still has people snapping pictures of her family's every move, I think tales of Kate's demise are greatly exaggerated. And she hasn't even had to resort to appearing in any fetish videos or celebrity boxing matches like Octomom to keep her name and face out there. Shrewd.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2057438/Kate-Gosselin-outrages-child-safety-group-unsupervised-young-son-crawls-family-van.html

Whack Job Weekend Continues at occupy wall street: Demented Protester Allegedly Goes Berzerk on Card Reader When McDonald's Won't Give Him Free Eats!

I repeat: If I'd have known it would be this fun to watch, I might have been right out there with 'em! And so it is, another day and another deranged leftist 20 percenter freak going apeshit for no good reason down at the ol' "occupy wall street" protest. I can see why the individual we have as president has been so quick and proud to embrace these protests as his own in this autumn of 2011 AD.

Cops in the Big Apple say the Zuccotti Park Crazies were at it again this weekend, with yet another protester throwing a "violent fit," the like of which we've now grown accustomed to seeing on a daily basis from these leftist lunatics. Nothing says non-violent, peaceful movement, after all, quite like a little good old fashioned violent mayhem and rampage.

Cops say the latest violent incident occurred when 27-year-old Fisika Bezabeh (easy for them to say) scurried his way down to the nearby Manhattan McDonald's restaurant at 160 Broadway -- a spot which the protesters have frequented in order to use the shithouse.

But Bughousebeh apparently had a lot more on his mind than just taking a little tinkle. It seems he was hungry. And then some. So being that he was in a fast food joint and all, he naturally went up to the counter and asked for some grub.

Only problem? No jack in the Bughousebeh's leftist coffers. But a pesky little thing like having no money to pay for goods or services rendered will never stop a good violent leftist worth his salt. So Bughousebeh allegedly demanded that the joint serve him up his Big Mac and fries for free -- or else.

But since McDonald's is one of those greedy businesses whose principal aim in life is to -- you know -- make money, the burger joint said no-can-do to Bughousebeh's demand for free eats. And that was apparently not quite the answer Bughousebeh was looking to receive.

Cops say the psycho protester then went completely bonkers, ripping a credit card reader right out of its socket and hurling that terrible symbol of American corporate greed right at the same minimum wage McDonald's workers who had refused him his free meal. Hasn't this kooky burger craver ever heard the phrase, "There's no such thing as a free lunch"?

Well, no free lunch unless you're in the hoosegow, of course -- a different kind of joint where Bughousebeh may have to be taking some of his future meals after cops busted his creepy ass on a charge of criminal mischief. He should feel right at home there.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/11/05/occupy-wall-street-protester-throws-violent-fit-in-mcdonalds-when-denied-free/
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/camper_mac_attack_IErwi9aOGMCPDdYJw2WcyI

Where Can I Sign Up? Deranged Hobo Goes on "Violent Rampage" at occupy wall street Before an Even Crazier Protester Punches Him Out!

If I'd known there would be this kind of high entertainment at the "occupy wall street" protests, I might have gone out and joined the leftist 20 percenters! At the Big Apple version of the protests in Zuccotti Park in Manhattan, a "deranged homeless man" reportedly went on a "violent, early-morning rampage" late this week, "cursing incoherently and kicking down tents" (link to full story at bottom).

The demented hobo -- named Jeremy Clinch (pictured above) -- was apparently all pissed off that others had tents and he didn't: "I haven't got a tent! I've been here for three months, and I haven't been able to sleep," the "unhinged vagrant" reportedly ranted before going on the warpath.

After allegedly taking out his frustrations on a gaggle of tents at the protest as a part of his "Godzilla-like rampage," this crazed bum next whipped out his best Mills Lane impersonation and reportedly issued a challenge to anyone on hand: "You want to fight? You want to get fucked up? Let's get in on! Let's get it on!"

Only problem? This homeless oddball's challenge was very quickly answered by an even more depraved monster at the protest. Inside one of the mauled tents was a sleeping protester named Recai "Rocky" Iskender (also known as The Turk), who was apparently none too happy about the maniacal tramp's antics.

A video of the incident shows the bald, hulking Turk first getting out of his tent and tossing a big water jug at the creepy vagabond. Then the Turk clocked the lunatic hobo right in the kisser with a big left hook that floored the nutty nomad in one punch.

And not to be outdone by the sick stinkpot's earlier pronouncements, the Turk went on a little rant of his own, incomprehensibly accusing NYC Mayor Bloomberg of recruiting the hobo Clinch as an "agent" to go down and disrupt the protests by raisin' a ruckus. Now, I personally would have blamed the hobo's actions on Bush or that bad portion of the bankers, millionaires and billionaires which doesn't bankroll the democrat party, but that's just me.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57318571-504083/crazed-homeless-man-starts-rampage-at-occupy-wall-street-protest-in-zuccotti-park/
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/goons_occupy_brawl_street_MuFbzuYYRoEkjw9RZ5xcSM

Of All People, Justin Bieber Banged THIS?No Wonder He Was Out of That Shithouse in 30 Seconds Flat! And What Might Selena Gomez Be Thinking?

This is not by design. It really isn't Shithouse Week in the TIR. Instead, it just so happens that the best stories the past few days have both had, coincidentally, a shithouse right in the middle of them. Go figure...

And so it is that Justin Bieber's alleged baby mama -- 20-year-old Mariah Yeater (pictured at the top) -- has come forward late this week with even more too-much-information concerning her alleged sex romp with America's #1 Teen Idol (link to full story at bottom). But before going any further: WTF already? This broad? Were his long bangs causing him to suffer from momentary blindness at the time?

Not sayin' this Yeater exactly laps water out of a bowl, but c'mon! A famous punk like Bieber could be doing the Rebecca Jessops of the world. Hell, his old play partner -- the below-pictured Kim Kardashian -- is even back on the market. Shit, he's already dating Selena Gomez for chrissakes!

So what's with the trailer park special? Which raises a real question: Maybe, just maybe, this Yeater ain't being so honest in her little story. Ya think?

Regardless, Yeater says that Bieber knocked her up on a "shelf" inside a shithouse at LA's Staples Center on October 25, 2010 AD. "On July 6, 2011 [AD], I gave birth to a baby boy," her story continues. And now she says she won't let Bieber keep her on the shelf any longer. More on that in a minute...

Yeater also says Bieber cursed up a storm during their encounter and claimed it was his "first time" -- which he allegedly cited as a reason for wanting to go ungloved. Yeater also claims that Bieber went Jim Levenstein on her trashy ass, finishing his business inside of 30 damn seconds!

Yeater is now demanding a paternity test from Bieber, but she says she'll probably only "need" about $12,000 per month in child support to take care of the needs of her little shit. That's only about $150,000 per year, BTW.

But is that much really necessary, what with the democrat party these days pushing for the federal government to provide free diapers for little tikes? Well, I guess there is baby formula to think about too (assuming this dame doesn't breastfeed). But I digress.

Finally, two additional points on the legal side of things here. First, Bieber's lawyer says that Yeater's story is "malicious, defamatory and demonstrably false." Fair enough, but why must lawyers always stick an adjective in front of words like "false"? Something's either false or it isn't. Trying to spruce it up with words like "demonstrably," "patently," or "unabashedly" really adds nothing to the case.

Second, Yeater might want to hope and pray that her story is, in fact, "demonstrably false," since she could be in a world of legal hurt if it turns out to be true. That's because, as reported in the New York Post, "Yeater's claim of having sex with [Bieber] when he was just 16 and she was 19 leaves her open to prosecution for statutory rape" in Cali. D'oh!

Looks like she definitely picked the wrong teen idol to take into the shithouse (if her story's true). Weren't there any 18-year-old teen idols out there and available? And if the story's true, what kind of individual admits committing a felony just to have her five minutes of fame? Well, a 20-something in the sad sight that is 2011 AD America, that's who. You really needed to ask?

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/bieber_baby_bimbo_blabbing_iSgRLSKzIIMFPb7kvrkcOM