She Must've REALLY Wanted that Spot: Crazed Driver with Mysterious Bosomy Passenger Cuts Off Car Trying to Park, Sends Worker Crashing Through Window!

A story like this has a certain appeal because it's pure madness. There's no rhyme nor reason to any of it (or as the media likes to say, it's "senseless"). It's like something from a bad dream, hallucination or other non-reality condition. And it just goes to show: We live in a world of insanity and slime, and sometimes it's best just to laugh right in its face.

I've Heard of Double Parking, But This Is Ridiculous

24-year-old Gejea Ejeta was just going about his business earlier this week, trying to change the rubbish cans outside the 7-Eleven at which he works in Yeadon, Pennsylvania. But that's when his little trash run went wrong. Horribly wrong.

It started off innocent enough as a maroon SUV slowly entered the parking spot in front of the garbage can that Ejeta was changing out. But then, surveillance footage shows, a white Dodge Caliber came storming in from out of nowhere at a high speed.

The video makes clear that there were a number of open spots in the lot. But that didn't stop the deranged Caliber driver (who's believed to be female). Because she wanted the spot that the maroon car was about to take. And damn it, she was going to get that spot! (Maybe she had some trash that she really need to unload in that garbage bin?)

So the lunatic Caliber driver tries to wheel into the spot and cut off the maroon car. But, see, while speed thrills, it also kills (I learned that one from Sgt. Trumond M. Combs of the Missouri Water Patrol). And so this hard-charging psycho lost control of the Caliber, leapt it up on to the sidewalk, and barely missed crashing into Aisle One of the convenience store.

But while the building remained mostly unscathed, not so much so for poor little Gejea Ejeta. The Caliber crashed into him and sent the innocent seller flying right through the window. Ejeta was hospitalized with leg injuries and has been holed up at home unable to work ever since.

The Last Time I Saw a Rack Like That, It Was Sauntering Around a Milking Parlor

Wouldn't ya know, the crash and injury to Ejeta were not the end of this sordid little tale. With Ejeta having been heaved through the window and the Caliber beached up on the sidewalk, a rather large and buxom broad casually gets out of the passenger side and strolls away without a care in the world.

Just to add insult to injury, and rather than checking on the injured Ejeta, the chesty dame (Janis Soprano?) instead started checking on her cell phone messages as she strutted away! You just know that if anyone had approached her in that parking lot, her response would've been something like, "What accident? I don't know nothing about no accident."

When a couple of store employees then ran out of the store towards the Caliber, the maniacal driver "reversed at high-speed" and got the hell out of there -- again with no regard whatsoever for Ejeta's well-being.

The driver remains on the loose, and I assume that cops would like to find her well-endowed, devil-may-care passenger as well. They should try the local creamery.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007234/CCTV-horrifying-hit-run-propels-shop-worker-window--passenger-wanders-checking-phone.html

You Can't Go Out in Public Anymore: Couple Busted for Sex on Beach in Front of 50 People, and Woman Finds Man Hiding in Crap Tank of Public Shithouse!

These crazy antics make you want to think twice about availing oneself of the benefits of public facilities, whether those come in the form of a nice public beach or the convenience of a public port-a-potty. Oh well, at least no one's been caught having sex in a graveyard this week (yet)...

Not in Front of the Children, Ward!

At least they could have had the decency to first build a big sand castle and do it in there. But apparently they had one too many Sex on the Beach. Cops in Treasure Island, Florida, have thrown the book at two young lovers who allegedly got it on in a big way in front of 50 onlookers at one of the local public beaches (pictured above).

Put another way, "it wasn't quite the sunset view the customers at Caddy's restaurant had in mind." Cops say 21-year-old Erica Huerta and 22-year-old mohawk-headed Steven Douglas (mugshots above) gave restaurant customers and beach-goers alike a lot more than they bargained for on Monday evening.

And the couple allegedly didn't just do the dirty deed real quick-like and then move on. No Siree Bob. They allegedly did it over and over again for over 30 damn minutes! The 50 onlookers included a number of children, some of whom reportedly "played in the sand nearby" while the couple went at it. Meantime restaurant patrons got a look at all of this just 100 feet away.

It's almost as if this couple was trying to act out a porn movie, but with no cameras (allegedly). In short, they were pulling out every trick in the sex book (allegedly). First there was some masturbation (allegedly). Then some "digital penetration" (allegedly). Then some oral sex (apparently going both ways) (allegedly).

But these horny exhibitionists were only getting warmed up at that point (allegedly)! All of that preliminary foolishness out of the way, the couple moved on the main event -- full-on sex over and over in the "missionary position" (allegedly). Cops also say the two had been drinking, although I personally find that very hard to believe.

Now the only sand these sexy showstoppers may be abusing for the time being will be that found in the yard at the local hoosegow. They're charged with felony "lewd and lascivious exhibition." Take it inside next time, kids.

I've Heard of Johnny On the Spot, But Never Sleazy Down in the Shit Tank

If there's one place on earth that I'd actually expect to enjoy a little privacy, it would be one of those portable public shithouses. I mean, apart from flies, who the hell's going to be hanging around in or near one of those things? They stink to high heaven and you only go near one if you really gots to go.

Well, you can toss all those little assumptions right down the crapper. Cops in Boulder, Colorado say a woman attending a "yoga festival" got the surprise of a lifetime when she tried to use a portable toilet at the event. Before she could even have a seat, the woman reportedly heard something rummaging around down in the waste tank beneath the toilet hole.

Maybe just the earth settling? Maybe a rat? Maybe a wasp nest? Nope. Any of those things would have just made too much sense. There was a man hiding down in that cesspool!

After getting the hell out of there, the woman heard the door lock from inside the portable privy -- indicating that ShitterMan had risen from the muck and mire! Security reportedly gathered outside the structure, waiting several minutes for ShitterMan to emerge.

And when ShitterMan did finally show his stinky hide, he reportedly made a mad dash for the exits and got away -- all the while "covered in feces." ShitterMan was apparently known to one festival attendee as "Sky" and is thought to be a hobo (no way!).

This stinkpot remains on the loose. So the next time you go to take a crap, better check twice under that lid. And whatever you do, stay out of that powder room if it happens to be portable.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/sex-on-beach-couple-563790

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2006842/Young-couple-Erica-Huerta-Steven-Douglas-arrested-having-sex-beach-50-holidaymakers.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2006749/Woman-lifts-lid-portable-toilet-discover-man-hiding-waste-tank.html

A Quick, Funny (Yet Somewhat Sick) Anecdote Before I Put Up My Thursday Blog Post. And a Real Insight Into the Rager...

Wednesday night, I'm surfing my premium movie channels and happen upon the leftist 20 percenter circle jerk show hosted by Bill Maher. Maher, BTW, I used to find funny back in the 90's, before he (like so many leftist 20 percenters) went completely apeshit and off the deep-end in the wake of the 2000 election result and September 11, 2001.

I can't watch Maher anymore. He's so full of hate and far-left venom. Anyway, he was ranting about far right-winger Texas governor Rick Perry (who may still run for president in 2012). I pretty much equally disdain Perry. To me, he epitomizes everything that is mindless, brainwashed far right-wing America (not that the far left is any less brainwashed by their ilk, colleagues and upbringing).

Perry over the past year has absolutely outraged me with talk of Texas possibly seceding from the Union as if this was 1860, not to mention his support for legislation permitting the carrying of concealed handguns in college classrooms. That's some pretty deranged right-winger stuff, truth be told.

Lately I have felt SO battle-fatigued by the two extremes that control our two bullshit political parties, and tonight I just kind of snapped (as anyone called the Rager would tend to be prone to do!). So I'm watching this leftist freak Maher ranting and raving about Perry, with a huge Perry still-store (onscreen picture) immediately to Maher's right on the screen.

So I snap. In a truly Elvis Presley-like moment, I don't pull out a gun (actually I don't own one), but I raise my right and left fists and, at the exact same time, lay a southwest Missouri lefthand right on Maher's mush and a southwest Missouri righthand directly on Perry's melon. Mind you, this is one of those old-school, pre-flatscreen TV jobs -- 32 inch with a ton of bulk back in that ass.

My simultaneous punches to the two extremist assclowns not only rocked the TV, but moved it back several inches and nearly sent it off its TV stand. If I had knocked that TV to the floor (which nearly happened), there would've been hell to pay from certain powers that be, I can tell you that. Thank GOD, it stayed on that TV stand by a damn wing & a prayer!

So am I just as sick, angry, hateful and demented as the likes of Maher and Perry? Quite possibly. Welcome to my world. And it's a lonely one: I've never met an Independent with the kind of anger and disdain that I bring to our rotten political culture and system as well as the two corrupt, disgraceful parties that prop it up. Maybe I am sick. But that felt good tonight. Damn good.

Nine Myths Debunked From Past Day's News: Jon Huntsman; Jackass Ebert; Simona Halep; Gladiators; Obama; Pantie Vault; Minor Milk Run; "Amish Pervert"

From the past day's headlines: Here's the truth, with all fiction revealed:

1. Jon "Spiderman" Huntsman: To debunk the biggest myth yet his week, this new GOP presidential candidate is not exciting or interesting at all to many Independents, including me. I'm interested in (but do not anticipate seeing) a candidate of conviction, character, courage and action devoted to reigning in our stifling $14.3 trillion national debt. I'm not interested in some mush-mouth "moderate" who promises to play nice with Obama -- a truly awful president who couldn't care less about the national debt and the impending economic ruin of the formerly American system.

["Moderates," BTW, are little different from partisan ideologues: They reach viewpoints for the sake of those viewpoints aligning in a particular place in the political spectrum on a nice little totem pole. There is nothing "Independent" about a self-described "moderate". A truly independent-minded person lets his particular views come out wherever they may and doesn't give a rat's ass where that happens to be or who gives a damn about it.]

I'm also not too interested in candidates who once referred to the aforementioned Obama (one of the two worst and most destructive presidents of my lifetime, along with W Bush) as "remarkable." If this Huntsman doesn't have an adjective vocabulary behind that of Missouri football coach Gary Pinkel (who spouts a "remarkable" every other sentence) and (moreover) actually thinks anything Obama's ever done is "remarkable," then he's dumber than the combined IQ's of Joe Biden and W Bush, which is about 27 on a good day.

Similarly, I'm not interested in hearing "civility" preachings from a candidate (Huntsman) who would be going against one of the most uncivil presidents whom I can recall in terms of his rhetoric -- Obama. In 2012, Obama and his fellow leftists 20 percenters are going to go after whomever the republic partisan nominee is (whether Huntsman or otherwise) with every dirty trick, every ounce of rotten, lying and disingenuous rhetoric, and every example of non-civil behavior imaginable.

Why in the hell would anyone ever want to be "civil" to those people (yes, I said those people)? Take the bastards on directly, lest you want to lose. And Huntsman has loser (not to mention DC establishment) written all over him. Maybe that's why the left-slanted "mainstream" media (apparently smelling another John McCain) seem so captivated by Huntsman. Just don't count this Independent among them.

http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2011/06/21/116178/jon-huntsman-to-announce-presidential.html

2. Jackass Ebert: Ebert's tweet that "friends don't let jackasses drink and drive" was funny, even if you think it was in bad taste or "too soon." The movie critic made the Tweet following "Jackass" star Ryan Dunn's fatal (and reportedly drunken) car accident -- before which Dunn had tweeted out a photo of him and his friends drinking in a bar.

http://www.people.com/people/news/category/0,,personsTax:RogerEbert,00.html

3. Simona Halep: Sometimes downsizing your breasts can actually be a good thing (even if it is often inadvisable, in my opinion). Just ask 19-year-old Romanian tennis player Simona Halep, whose effectiveness on the court seems to have improved after she scaled back her rack.

http://nation.foxnews.com/culture/2011/06/21/breast-reduction-helps-tennis-star-enjoy-wimbledon-win

4. Gladiators: There may be no rules in a knife fight, but there were referees in ancient gladiatorial fights to the death -- even if such Hollywood films and TV series as Gladiator and Spartacus: Blood and Sand don't show any refs.

A newly deciphered gravestone from a Roman gladiator blames a ref's decision for the gladiator's death in "the Arena" -- likely making it the first time in recorded history that a sports loser whined about the refs. "You Cannot Be Serious!," proclaims Britain's Daily Mail. (And watch out behind ya, Boys, because Theokoles rises!)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2006161/Roman-gladiators-gravestone-blames-poor-refereeing-losing-key-battle-life.html

5. Obama: It's a complete myth that I disagree with leftist 20 percenter Obama 100% of the time; rather, it's only about 99% of the time. Case in point: Obama is to announce today his plan to withdraw 10,000 "surge" troops from Afghanistan by the end of 2011 and 33,000 troops by the end of 2012. I couldn't be more supportive.

However, while this makes for good popular rhetoric for Obama, I'll actually believe it's anything other than mere lip service when I actually see all those troops come home. I ain't holdin' my breath over here. You see, Obama spouts all kinds of lofty rhetoric and rarely backs any of it up (although, that's most typically a good thing, truth be told).

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0611/57448.html

6. Pantie Vault: If a woman is discovered with a cop car license plate down her panties, then it's probably not there merely for safekeeping. A woman in New York says she was just "holding it for the cops" after the license plate "fell off" the police car, but the cops ain't buying that story. Woman's charged with possession of stolen property and larceny.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/funny_stuff_by_cop_plate_thief_3UM77ir2sT3qHCRMt56r8L

7. Minor Milk Run: It's actually not cool to send your 5-year-old on a mile-long walk to get milk at the local 7-Eleven and then pass out before the tike can even get home with the goods. Cops in Charleston, West Virginia, busted Mama's ass for child neglect.

http://www.dailymail.com/policebrfs/201106210508

8. "Amish Pervert": Contrary to what may be popular belief, if you try to have sex with a 12-year-old girl, it's actually not a defense to claim you thought the girl was 13. And it really doesn't matter (either) if you happen to be Amish, or that you drove your horse-drawn buggy so that you could meet the girl and get it on inside said buggy (allegedly).

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2006492/Amish-sexting-pervert-busted-driving-horse-buggy-meet-12-year-old-girl.html

9. The Number Inside My Head Between 1 and 10: Someone guessed 6 over the past day. WRONG! It's actually 9. Turn that six upside down. (And turn that smile into an uncivil sneer -- Rager says you'll feel much better as a result in this day and age -- Jon Huntsman notwithstanding).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revolution_9#Backmasking

Who Says Anthony's Weiner & Wife Huma's Weiner Couldn't Get Into Porn? Another Former Hillary Clinton Staffer Already Has...

There's been much discussion in this space recently speculating how Anthony's Weiner is going to make a buck now that he's pulled out of Congress -- especially given that he has no particular talent apart from being an obnoxious partisan loudmouth. I dismissed very quickly the notion that he might simply take the Weiner into porn, since I found it hard to believe that his wife (and Hillary Clinton staffer) Huma's Weiner would ever allow that.

The retort, however, was: Why couldn't Huma's Weiner join Anthony's Weiner in the porn industry, much like a political world's version of Evan Seinfeld and Tera Patrick? But I had a similar reaction to that one: A high-level political operative getting into porn? That would be virtually unprecedented...

Until now, leastways. With the same perfect timing exhibited by the democrat party's calls last week for Anthony's Weiner to shrink out of sight, the story comes out this week that a different former Hillary Clinton staffer named Sammie Spades (the blonde pictured variously above) is now a porn star. You just can't make this stuff up.

Spades worked for Clinton in 2006 before reportedly "swapping the pantsuit for panties and a career in porn." But while her "assets" may "include a 32DD bust and 26-inch waist," just take a look above at this broad. Seems to me to be proof positive that just about anyone can get into porn nowadays:

The last time I saw a nose like that, it was trotting around the bridle path. Message to Ms. Spades: Babs Streisand called; she says you can keep the hair, but she wants her mush back. I mean, if this dame walked into a Kentucky shithouse, even the flies would flee.

But all that aside, one cannot take away from Ms. Spades that her porn career has taken off faster than an Obama weekend getaway. Here are ten of her top porn titles thus far (alphabetized) -- limited to only titles that are repeatable in a family blog such as this one:

1. Big Butts Like It Big 8 (co-starring James Deen)
2. Bomb Ass White Booty 13 (co-starring Wesley Pipes)
3. Busty Nurses (co-starring Pat Myne)
4. CEOs and Office Ho's
5. Fresh Squeeze 2 (co-starring Mark Wood)
6. Internal Injections 7 (co-starring Alex Gonz)
7. I Love Ass Cheeks 4 (co-starring John Strong)
8. She Is Half My Age 12 (co-starring Joe Blow)
9. Sperm Receptacles 5 (co-starring Jessica Bangkok)
10. White Bubble Butts 4 (co-starring Mr. Pipes, Ice Cold, and Rico Strong, the apparent brother of John)

So I say go for it, Anthony & Huma's Weiner! You need to pounce while your five minutes of fame is still continuing to run. Don't do a Lewinsky and completely blow your opportunity, over there.

http://nation.foxnews.com/hillary-clinton/2011/06/20/porn-star-i-used-be-clinton-intern
http://www.sunnewsnetwork.ca/sunnews/world/archives/2011/06/20110620-135549.html
http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/20/hillary-clinton-porn-star-intern-sammie-spades-senator-secretary-of-state/

Leftist 20 Percenters Go Ape: Obama Appears to Steal Line from Mob Movie; Media Ignores Key Pentagon Suspect Fact; & NBC Butchers the Pledge...

Actually, that Obama apparently stole a talking point from the script of the mob movie Casino is kind of funny to me. But not so much the other oddball behavior of the leftist 20 percenters over the weekend, as (1) virtually every "mainstream" news outlet ignored the basic core fact of the Pentagon suspect story that the guy was a Muslim and (2) NBC allowed its leftist 20 percenter political agenda to even creep into its sports coverage, intentionally editing the words "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance during the U.S. Open golf tournament.

What's Next? That He'll Make Gadhafi An Offer He Can't Refuse?

This one I don't view as that big deal of a deal. It's more entertaining than anything. Listening to the radio Monday morning, I was struck by a weekend interview quote from Obama. On Father's Day, with the "mainstream" media playing up what a wonderful old man Obama is, Obama took the opportunity to talk about how once a day, he drops everything so that he can spend a little quality time with his two daughters:

"At 6:30, no matter how busy I am, for an hour and a half, my only focus is them."

You see, I'm a bit of a gangster film buff. Just one of my quirks. So I immediately recognized Obama's line as being eerily similar to a line spouted by Robert De Niro with respect to Joe Pesci's crazy gangster character "Nicky Santoro" in the film Casino. Said Nicky in the movie:

"But around 6:30 in the morning, when he finished his day, no matter where he was or what he was doing, he always went home to make breakfast for his son, Nicky boy."

Judge for yourself. All I know is, if Obama starts dropping "forgetaboutits" and claiming that he's responsible for "whacking out" Bin Laden, then we're going to have a bona fide pattern on our hands.

He Was "Everything BUT a Muslim"

You may have seen the weekend story about some slime named Yonathan Melaku who was allegedly slinking around Arlington Cemetery with "suspicious materials" while his red Nissan (pictured above) parked near the Pentagon set off a "major incident." Reportedly Fox News was one of the very few -- if only -- major news outlets to report a basic, fundamental fact about the story, i.e. that Melaku is Muslim.

But the "mainstream" media did go out of its way to describe Melaku in every other way possible. The descriptions included, "Marine Lance Corporal," a "Marine Reservist," and "Ethiopian," and (the obligatory) "Lone Wolf." And if now they'll just let me know what Melaku had for breakfast that day, I'll die a happy man. (That from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid -- I give attribution to the movie lines from which I steal).

It's also been reported that Melaku was carrying around a "notebook praising the Taliban." So this does not appear to be the sort of guy whom I would exactly characterize as your typical, non-violent, non-fundamentalist Muslim.

What if Melaku had been some sort of Christian fundamentalist and right-wing extremist? You can be darn sure the "mainstream" media would have not only reported that fact, but would have played it up to the hilt.

And I would have fully expected them to do so. I would want to know those facts, same I want to know if the suspect in a potential terror incident is a Muslim carrying around radical Islamic writings or materials. But obviously that's just a little too much to expect from the "mainstream" media.

You're Allowed to THINK God, But Don't SAY It!

This one gets the award for the just plain petty and chickenshit move of the weekend by the "mainstream" media. NBC purposefully edited out the words "Under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance during the U.S. Open.

To NBC, I have only five words: God, God, God -- God, God! The network, BTW, has today offered the typical non-apology apology over the whole matter ("We apologize if anyone was offended").

But none of this comes as a real surprise from the most far-leftist "mainstream" news outlet in the United States. I fully expect to surf past MSNBC tonight and see a story calling news of the latest fall of the American dollar "highly unexpected," complete with a dollar bill graphic that just says "We Trust" on the face of the bill.

Then next up on the MSNBC evening show lineup will be something they call the "OM" (formerly "OMG") segment, featuring our illustrious president. Tonight's OM feature will highlight how, [CENSORED] damn it, Obama always breaks away from anything he's doing at 6:30 to have a meal with his kids. Don't Obama and these "mainstream" news outlets owe Scorsese a royalty or something? (Although they certainly owe nothing to God).

http://abcnews.go.com/ThisWeek/week-transcript-sen-john-mccain/story?id=13869543

http://www.hark.com/clips/wctccbzlyk-when-he-finished-his-day

http://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/brent-baker/2011/06/17/abc-terrorist-suspect-everything-muslim-marine-lance-corporal-marine-re

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004750/Man-suspicious-device-detained-Pentagon.html?ITO=1490

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/06/19/nbc-apologizes-for-omitting-under-god-from-pledge-during-us-open-broadcast/?test=latestnews

So a Leftist 20 Percenter and a Bunch of Normal People Get on a Train Together...

One of the very few good things about leftist 20 percenters is that they are generally very predictable in their behavior (same as the right-wingers). They rarely depart from tried-but-cruel mannerisms, talking points and viewpoints with respect to the people and world around them.

Case in point -- according to accounts this week and a YouTube video capturing most of the events on a New York City train (link at bottom):

-The woman (pictured above) got on the train and started "talking loudly to a friend, allegedly using profanities."

-One of the train's conductors tells the woman "to keep the noise down and to stop using swear words."

-The woman denies her own obvious behavior and goes ballistic at the notion of anyone having the gall to challenge her for acting inappropriately: "I was not cursing, excuse me, do you know what schools I've been to?"

-As two of the train conductors talk among themselves, the woman again interjects: "I'm sorry, do you think I'm a little hoodlum?"

-As the conductors and passengers persist in failing to realize the woman's obviously high intellect and exemplary education, the woman again reminds them: "Excuse me? Do you know well-educated I am?"

-The moronic masses on the train still not getting the message, the woman has finally had enough: "Stop the train! Stop the train!"

-"Getting ever more worked up, the woman demands her money back and says she'll never give Metro-North her money ever again."

-At that, the rest of the train erupts in applause and gives the woman a standing ovation. [OK, I made that part up.]

-One of the conductors suggests that the woman take her gripes to customer service.

-As the woman departs the train in a huff, she fires off one last closing salvo calculated as a final-ditch effort to persuade everyone around her just how highly educated and smart she really is:

-"No do not tell me to go to customer service. I am not a crazy person. I am a very well-educated person!"

-The woman now gone, one of the train's conductors makes an announcement exhibiting the wise understanding that oftentimes, the best way to deal with a leftist 20 percenter is just to laugh at him/her (and boy they hate it when you do that, BTW):

-The announcement requests that passengers not use profanity on the train, "especially those people who went to Harvard or Yale."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004479/Stressed-commuter-goes-nuts-told-voice-down.html

Beach Bum Hobo Celebrates Birthday By Downing TWO CASES of BEER & Raising Mega "Ruckus" at the Beach; But Later Concedes He Had a FEW Too Many!

Now this was some power drinking. Forty-eight damn beers in all! But at least the vagabond was quick to admit that (in retrospect) he should have cut it off at thirty-eight!

Cops in Hudson Beach, Florida, say the vagrant was just looking to celebrate his 58th birthday in style this week. And what better way for James Taylor (pictured above; apparently not the famous singer-songwriter) to pull off that plan than by pounding almost fifty cans of beer?!?

While putting away four dozen cans of beer would (literally) kill a lot of lesser men, this plastered beach bum really knows how to hold his liquor. At least until the "ruckus" broke out -- "such a ruckus that he scared a woman and her young grandchildren" at a local public beach. Now, I will describe the ruckus, Sir:

In addition to letting the expletives fly, Taylor allegedly went Anthony's Weiner and showed everyone his tallywhacker and then -- with Willie Johnson already out the box -- used the open opportunity to take a piss right there "in the middle of the sand."

All the while, he reportedly "continued to shout profanities" at the horrified onlookers. Cops had already run this trashed tramp off the beach once that day, and this time they returned and slapped the ol' cuffs on the blitzed beachcomber.

Taylor's admission to cops that he had just sloshed down 48 beers drew a sharp rebuke from one deputy, who proceeded to give the plastered panhandler a "stern lecture" about the dangers of alcohol over-consumption and the rudeness of shouting obscenities at innocent folk.

And Taylor was not without regret, truth be told. He reportedly admitted to cops he had "had about 10 beers too many" during his little impromptu birthday ruckus.

The next time this hammered hermit wants to get his drink on, he may have to buck up to Red the Freezer Fixer. That after cops busted Taylor on charges of raisin' a ruckus and disorderly intoxication in a public place.

So far unable to raise his $100 bail, this boozin' bum has already traded in the flophouse for the ice house, reportedly. And James Taylor may be coolin' off in the cooler and seeing a lot more Rain Than Fire for some time to come.

I say that only because my best guess is that this Hard-Drinkin' Hobo likely spent every last nickel in his bindle stick on that dee-luxe birthday beach bash the other night. Putting all one's eggs in one bindle can be a bitch, I would assume.

http://www.wtsp.com/news/watercooler/article/197332/58/Arrested-man-48-beers-was-about-10-too-many

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2004860/Transient-James-Taylor-arrested-beach-drinking-48-beers-celebrate-birthday.html

America Says "Bye Bye Pervert" to Anthony's Weiner, But You Know This House Member & His Unit Will Rise Again: I've Got Some Predictions...

Anthony's Weiner didn't go down or finish so well, but maybe it was only the beginning? Sure enough, Anthony's Weiner's Thursday resignation press conference was a pretty sad sight for a sore one-eye. A "circus" of hecklers damn near shut the whole sword down before Anthony's Weiner could even get it up and through his rather pathetic prepared remarks (which focused on everything under the sun except his own mistakes and contrition).

The heckling included cries of "bye-bye pervert!" and screamed questions such as, "Are you more than 7 inches?!" But "bye-bye pervert" begs the question? Does anyone really think this is the end of Anthony's Weiner? I don't. I think this is just the tip of the Weiner.

Following That Dog & Baloney Pony Show, a New Day for Anthony's Weiner?

We've read over the past week that Weiner's gotta earn, as they say, because he ain't exactly what you'd call a wealthy wedding tackle. The need for that paycheck was undoubtedly one of the reasons why Anthony's Weiner stood tall and hung around so long before finally shrinking under the resignation pressure of democrat party slimeballs like Creature Pelosi and Debbie "Wasserman" Schultz. (As stated by one of my (only) favorite liberals tonight, Juan Williams: "Weiner was someone that was rising up.").

Moreover, Anthony's Weiner is now a household hog nationwide. Anthony's Weiner and his shaft are far more valuable and famous today than they were just two short weeks ago. It reminds me of Obi-Wan Kenobi's line from the original Star Wars film: "You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

Well, think of the political establishment (democrat party and republic partisans alike) as Darth Vader (although that's an insult to Vader). They don't really win by forcing Anthony's Weiner back to his trowsers. Because the Weiner will surely be back -- and probably as a much more famous and more annoying embarrassment than he is even now (and don't call him Shirley).

Given the new-found fame of Anthony's Weiner and his notorious phallus, I think his employment possibilities might just be endless. And I'm not talking about the joke job offer today from Larry Flynt for Anthony's Weiner to work in Huster's Internet division. I'm also staying away from the obvious (and far-fetched) jokes about how Weiner could now become a porn star or a sidekick to the similarly disgraced politician (now with his own show), Eliot Spitzer.

Trying to Read the Tube Steaks: Prediction Time on the Future of Anthony's Weiner

I won't make any Hustler, porn or Spitzer jokes because I'm being serious over here. So much so, in fact, that I will be shocked if one or more the following ten job opportunities does not land in Weiner's groin area inside the space of one year:

10. Fox News tries to breathe new life into the rather stale presentation that is the "Sean Hannity Show" by teaming deranged right-winger Hannity with Anthony's Weiner in a new nightly show tentatively titled, "Wonk & Weiner."

9. Anthony's Weiner lands a gig as an advertising spokesman for Bar-S Weiners as that outfit puts on the full-court press to try to eat into the monstrous weiner marketshare of Oscar Mayer. Ad slogan: "We gots your Weiner right here."

8. Anthony's Weiner is cast in a cameo part in The Hangover III in a role written specifically for him and credited as, "The Walking, Talking Pr*ck."

7. Vince McMahon brings Anthony's Weiner into the WWE, putting him in a tag team with old-school wrestler The Brooklyn Brawler and giving Weiner the nickname, "The Bensonhurst Bratwurst."

6. Anthony's Weiner hits the network TV sitcom world by pairing up with Charlie Sheen on a new NBC show called, "Two and a Half Madmen (Longer Than Seven Inches)."

5. Anthony's Weiner becomes a YouTube sensation with a profanity-laced and schlong-filled video version of the old Chuck Berry novelty song, "My Ding-a-Ling."

4. Like Bizarro to Superman, the superhero Captain America needs a real arch-nemesis, and he gets one in Captain America II in the form of "Captain Winkie" -- played by a buffed and shirtless Anthony's Weiner in very tight britches.

3. Cash-strapped, Anthony's Weiner catches on with a Queens construction outfit as a jackhammer man (but quickly gets canned for being an overly obnoxious union agitator).

2. Anthony's Weiner enters the realm of daily kids' television by becoming the new actor to play the One-Eyed creature on "Yo Gabba Gabba" known as Muno (pictured above).

1. Anthony's Weiner turns franchisee, taking the life savings of himself and Huma's Weiner and risking it all by opening up a string of Long John Silver and Jack In the Box fish and burger joints up and down the eastern seaboard. Highly successful in the endeavor, Weiner becomes like a modern-day (if decidely ungentlemanly) Colonel Sanders, earning an appropriate new moniker of his own -- "Rear Admiral Schwanzstucker."

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2011/06/16/weiner_cheered_and_heckled_at_presser_announcing_his_resignation.html
http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/16/larry-flynt-anthony-weiner-hustler-congress-resignation-new-york-internet-group-job-offer/