Now this was some power drinking. Forty-eight damn beers in all! But at least the vagabond was quick to admit that (in retrospect) he should have cut it off at thirty-eight! Cops in Hudson Beach, Florida, say the vagrant was just looking to celebrate his 58th birthday in style this week. And what better way for James Taylor (pictured above; apparently not the famous singer-songwriter) to pull off that plan than by pounding almost fifty cans of beer?!?
While putting away four dozen cans of beer would (literally) kill a lot of lesser men, this plastered beach bum really knows how to hold his liquor. At least until the "ruckus" broke out -- "such a ruckus that he scared a woman and her young grandchildren" at a local public beach. Now, I will describe the ruckus, Sir:
In addition to letting the expletives fly, Taylor allegedly went Anthony's Weiner and showed everyone his tallywhacker and then -- with Willie Johnson already out the box -- used the open opportunity to take a piss right there "in the middle of the sand."
All the while, he reportedly "continued to shout profanities" at the horrified onlookers. Cops had already run this trashed tramp off the beach once that day, and this time they returned and slapped the ol' cuffs on the blitzed beachcomber.
Taylor's admission to cops that he had just sloshed down 48 beers drew a sharp rebuke from one deputy, who proceeded to give the plastered panhandler a "stern lecture" about the dangers of alcohol over-consumption and the rudeness of shouting obscenities at innocent folk.
And Taylor was not without regret, truth be told. He reportedly admitted to cops he had "had about 10 beers too many" during his little impromptu birthday ruckus.
The next time this hammered hermit wants to get his drink on, he may have to buck up to Red the Freezer Fixer. That after cops busted Taylor on charges of raisin' a ruckus and disorderly intoxication in a public place.
So far unable to raise his $100 bail, this boozin' bum has already traded in the flophouse for the ice house, reportedly. And James Taylor may be coolin' off in the cooler and seeing a lot more Rain Than Fire for some time to come.
I say that only because my best guess is that this Hard-Drinkin' Hobo likely spent every last nickel in his bindle stick on that dee-luxe birthday beach bash the other night. Putting all one's eggs in one bindle can be a bitch, I would assume.
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