Anthony's Weiner didn't go down or finish so well, but maybe it was only the beginning? Sure enough, Anthony's Weiner's Thursday resignation press conference was a pretty sad sight for a sore one-eye. A "circus" of hecklers damn near shut the whole sword down before Anthony's Weiner could even get it up and through his rather pathetic prepared remarks (which focused on everything under the sun except his own mistakes and contrition).The heckling included cries of "bye-bye pervert!" and screamed questions such as, "Are you more than 7 inches?!" But "bye-bye pervert" begs the question? Does anyone really think this is the end of Anthony's Weiner? I don't. I think this is just the tip of the Weiner.
Following That Dog & Baloney Pony Show, a New Day for Anthony's Weiner?
We've read over the past week that Weiner's gotta earn, as they say, because he ain't exactly what you'd call a wealthy wedding tackle. The need for that paycheck was undoubtedly one of the reasons why Anthony's Weiner stood tall and hung around so long before finally shrinking under the resignation pressure of democrat party slimeballs like Creature Pelosi and Debbie "Wasserman" Schultz. (As stated by one of my (only) favorite liberals tonight, Juan Williams: "Weiner was someone that was rising up.").
Moreover, Anthony's Weiner is now a household hog nationwide. Anthony's Weiner and his shaft are far more valuable and famous today than they were just two short weeks ago. It reminds me of Obi-Wan Kenobi's line from the original Star Wars film: "You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Well, think of the political establishment (democrat party and republic partisans alike) as Darth Vader (although that's an insult to Vader). They don't really win by forcing Anthony's Weiner back to his trowsers. Because the Weiner will surely be back -- and probably as a much more famous and more annoying embarrassment than he is even now (and don't call him Shirley).
Given the new-found fame of Anthony's Weiner and his notorious phallus, I think his employment possibilities might just be endless. And I'm not talking about the joke job offer today from Larry Flynt for Anthony's Weiner to work in Huster's Internet division. I'm also staying away from the obvious (and far-fetched) jokes about how Weiner could now become a porn star or a sidekick to the similarly disgraced politician (now with his own show), Eliot Spitzer.
Trying to Read the Tube Steaks: Prediction Time on the Future of Anthony's Weiner
I won't make any Hustler, porn or Spitzer jokes because I'm being serious over here. So much so, in fact, that I will be shocked if one or more the following ten job opportunities does not land in Weiner's groin area inside the space of one year:
10. Fox News tries to breathe new life into the rather stale presentation that is the "Sean Hannity Show" by teaming deranged right-winger Hannity with Anthony's Weiner in a new nightly show tentatively titled, "Wonk & Weiner."
9. Anthony's Weiner lands a gig as an advertising spokesman for Bar-S Weiners as that outfit puts on the full-court press to try to eat into the monstrous weiner marketshare of Oscar Mayer. Ad slogan: "We gots your Weiner right here."
8. Anthony's Weiner is cast in a cameo part in The Hangover III in a role written specifically for him and credited as, "The Walking, Talking Pr*ck."
7. Vince McMahon brings Anthony's Weiner into the WWE, putting him in a tag team with old-school wrestler The Brooklyn Brawler and giving Weiner the nickname, "The Bensonhurst Bratwurst."
6. Anthony's Weiner hits the network TV sitcom world by pairing up with Charlie Sheen on a new NBC show called, "Two and a Half Madmen (Longer Than Seven Inches)."
5. Anthony's Weiner becomes a YouTube sensation with a profanity-laced and schlong-filled video version of the old Chuck Berry novelty song, "My Ding-a-Ling."
4. Like Bizarro to Superman, the superhero Captain America needs a real arch-nemesis, and he gets one in Captain America II in the form of "Captain Winkie" -- played by a buffed and shirtless Anthony's Weiner in very tight britches.
3. Cash-strapped, Anthony's Weiner catches on with a Queens construction outfit as a jackhammer man (but quickly gets canned for being an overly obnoxious union agitator).
2. Anthony's Weiner enters the realm of daily kids' television by becoming the new actor to play the One-Eyed creature on "Yo Gabba Gabba" known as Muno (pictured above).
1. Anthony's Weiner turns franchisee, taking the life savings of himself and Huma's Weiner and risking it all by opening up a string of Long John Silver and Jack In the Box fish and burger joints up and down the eastern seaboard. Highly successful in the endeavor, Weiner becomes like a modern-day (if decidely ungentlemanly) Colonel Sanders, earning an appropriate new moniker of his own -- "Rear Admiral Schwanzstucker."
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2011/06/16/weiner_cheered_and_heckled_at_presser_announcing_his_resignation.html
http://www.tmz.com/2011/06/16/larry-flynt-anthony-weiner-hustler-congress-resignation-new-york-internet-group-job-offer/
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