43-year-old John Cunningham (pictured above)
really knows his pork steaks. And so when this mean-ass meatman is fixin' to toss a platter of pork steaks on the ol' grill,
don't you trying telling him that said steaks are really pork chops or some other cut of swine. Lest you want this pork afficionado to go all butcherblock on your ass (allegedly)!
It actually sounds like this story began lovely enough, with Cunningham paying a nice little visit to the house of his uncle (44-year-old Lessie Lowe) and other family members to cook up some eats late Sunday night (link below). But alas: Enter pork steak. And all hell broke loose from there...
As Cunningham prepared to cook up a big mess a' meat, a thorny point of porky pig contention reportedly reared its ugly pork snout: Cunningham maintained that the meat cuts at issue were pork
steaks, while Uncle simply did not agree, retorting that nephew was in fact totin' a slew a' pork
chops.
Apparently not being familiar with the tired but true old phrase, "we can agree to disagree," the two men took to fightin' (reportedly) and "had to be separated by someone else in the home." But Nephew Cunningham, being ever the prideful porkbelly that he is, wasn't about to let this meatball matter lie...
But what's a piss-and-vinegar porker like him to do? Maybe re-engage Uncle in oral argument? Or resume the fisticuffs? Or even give Uncle a little chumpchop cheapshot? Nope, none of those things. Instead, Nephew chose the next most logical option -- meaning he allegedly scurried off "to another part of the home," got his meathooks on a shotgun, and came out blastin'!
Clipped by the piece, Uncle allegedly hit the floor faster than a porkshank at a Vegan convention -- later dying at the hospital. Meantime cops have slapped a meaty murder charge on Nephew's pork carver ass, while also taking the time to the inform the media that Nephew Cunningham
was correct that the meat in question was, indeed, pork steak. Glad 5-0's around to clear that up for us. Hate loose burnt ends over here.
http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/st-louis-police-jennings-man-shot-uncle-to-death-over/article_a281ed60-fc21-11e1-b1fc-001a4bcf6878.html#.UE-j_z3xBwU.facebook
[
Postscript: Thanks to Joe G in St. Louis for passing this story along.]
Posts
