A Few Too Many Weiners on Mem. Day: Allegations of Democrat Tweeting Weiner, Teens Terrorizing w/ Tallywhackers, & Woman Whacking Off Dude's Wanker!

I know Memorial Day is one of the year's biggest weekends for weiners and bratwursts, but this is ridiculous! Put those damn things away, already, you Willie Johnsons!

First it was "Weinergate" in New York over the weekend as a picture of an erect, "bulging male member" was somehow sent out over the Twitter account of democrat party U.S. representative Anthony Weiner (pictured above holding hands w/ recent bride and Hillary Clinton aide, Huma Abedin).

But that wasn't the end of it. Not by a long shot, as a quartet of Wisconsin teens (also pictured above) stands accused of terrorizing a fellow high school wrestler with their trouser snakes.

For good measure, another story out this past holiday weekend has a woman reportedly fighting of a rapist by hacking off his tube steak and then making sure to meticulously preserve it as evidence! All in all, this sure was one schlong Memorial Day weekend...

Weiner Wig-Out: That's Not My Dong, Damn It!

Imagine the surprise to congressman and democrat party member Anthony Weiner's 40,000 Twitter followers (that's all he has?) after a picture of a large, erect skin flute was sent out over Weiner's Twitter account to female college student Gennette Nicole Cordova (pictured above below Weiner) -- in the process reaching the In-Box of all of Weiner's Twitter followers as well.

Weiner reportedly has his "undies all in a twist" over the situation and claims his Twitter account was "hacked" by someone. He's also blaming "conservatives" for his plight. While I have no clue over the conservative charge, my read of several accounts of the story is that Weiner is probably being truthful that the dong photo was the work of a hacker.

I've never liked the obnoxious and rabid leftist 20 percenter Weiner at all, but I really can't see him tweeting out such a dumb picture. He just got married last summer to a hot babe, for cryin' out loud!

Weiner meantime appears ready to go whole "hog" over all this, as he's reportedly already hired special "counsel" to look into the matter and explore the possibility of pursuing all available "civil or criminal actions" and remedies.

Not a bad move, frankly. Put the lawyers at the joystick and let them see what kind of ding dong they can get to pop up.

I'd Hate to Have to Wrestle Out of This Who Who Dilly

The Wisconsin state champion wrestling team is currently grappling with scandal of GodZilla proportions, as a 15-year-old member of the team has accused a quartet of his Lincoln High School teammates of whipping out more than just headlocks and suplexes in the team's locker room. The 15-year-old is claiming sexual harassment.

The behavior was allegedly a repeated pattern of choad shenanigans that included "dancing around" the alleged victim "while they were naked, swinging their penises at him." During some of the instances, it's also alleged that the 15-year-old "was hit by each of [the quartet's] penises on his leg."

On one occasion, it's alleged that the victim was in a locker room shower when one of the quartet "placed his penis on victim's butt." The 15-year-old says that he "could not get away because he was boxed in" by two of the other wrestlers.

And this one really takes the Peter cake: The victim alleges he once had to jump into a locker and hide in order "to prevent being hit in the face by the penis of another wrestler." Jeezal Peezal! Haven't these guys ever heard of simply snapping a towel as a locker room jolly?!?

The accused tool-wielding quartet now faces criminal charges, but it seems doubtful they'll have to spend any time in the slightly rougher summer sausage shower on display at the local hoosegow. That's because "misdemeanor disorderly conduct" seems like a pretty light beef, even for a gang of baloney ponies (allegedly).

Weenie Whacker's "One Tough Mother"

A Bangladesh woman named Monju Begum will never be accused of spoliation (destruction) of evidence. The married mother of three reportedly fought off a male neighbor's rape attempt by chopping off his beef bayonet faster than an Oscar Meyer weiner burns on an overheated grill. (Been there, done that -- burning a weiner on a hot grill, that is).

And damn it, she was gonna make sure she showed the cops the evidence (i.e., said alleged rape rod). Cops says Monju immediately tossed the incriminating magic wand into a "polythene bag" (no corrosive, biodegradable paper bags for Monju) and rushed it down to nearest the local precinct so that cops would have the fleshy evidence.

Her alleged would-be rapist, Mozammel Haq Mazi, meantime is reportedly holed up in a local hospital and looking to recover from being turned from a rooster into a hen. It seems efforts to surgically reattach his unlawful unit (allegedly) did not take so well. I bet that sliced pickle is one weiner condiment that won't be appearing on his Memorial Day shanty table any time soon.

http://newyorkpost.com/p/news/local/queens/undies_in_twist_over_weiner_wiener_HznNI7XvjWgn9Lm2Xuq5pK

http://dailycaller.com/2011/05/30/weiner-spokesman-we%E2%80%99ve-retained-counsel-to-explore-possible-civil-or-criminal-actions/

http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2011/05/30/2011-05-30_rep_anthony_weiner_hires_attorney_to_explore_civil_criminal_charges_in_lewd_twit.html

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/k-12/wrestlers-busted-locker-room-sex-harassment-231957

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2011/05/30/2011-05-30_bangladeshi_woman_thwarts_rape_by_cutting_off_alleged_wouldbe_attackers_penis.html

Memorial Day Madness: It's Insansity in the Buff, as Buck Naked Men Go Bonkers, Do Subway Pole Dances, Crash Into Homes, & Take Hammer Beatings...

On this Memorial Day 2011, escalating inflation in Obama's America is very real. Look no farther than the gas pump and the grocery prices for your holiday cookout. Things are bad. And clothing prices -- forgetaboutit. But when you can't afford new threads, that does not give you license just to strip off the old ones and go apeshit!

And that's exactly what we had, with (1) a naked man in Maine allegedly bashing his giant dump truck into a house (pictured above) and taking a good hammer beating for his efforts and (2) an unclothed man giving an impromptu striptease and pole dance on the New York City subway (also pictured above).

Of course, they could have just as easily done all these things with their clothes on. But where would the fun in that be, right?

"He Started Fighting a Man He Didn't Even Know"

Well, he knew the guy in the first fight. Cops in South Berwick, Maine, say "it started with 24-year-old Eli Hutchins got into a fight with his friend" at his apartment complex this week. Not satisfied with those preliminary fisticuffs, cops say a naked Eli then took his fight to the street, apparently looking for new people with whom to brawl.

Cops say Hutchins got into his big dump truck and promptly rammed it into the living room of a stranger's home. After putting the vehicle in park, Eli allegedly "got out -- while naked -- and started fighting with a man he didn't even know" in the home.

But you see, it's a very dumb thing, fighting someone you "don't even know." It's the reason why bar and street fights are generally the domain of the mindless. You often can't tell how tough a dude is just by looking at him, and you never know what hell may be visited upon your ass if you just take to fighting any random person who comes along. Even if you are naked at the time.

And Eli learned that lesson only too well (allegedly). Cops say the resident of the home brought the fight right back at Eli and took to nailing Eli right on the melon with a big hammer! Cops quickly showed up and slapped the ol' cuffs on Eli. They "say he was high on drugs." No way!

Now Eli may have to take his bare ass and get "nailed" in a different kind of big house, since he faces fully-clothed charges that include assault and "operating under the influence."

Male "Stripper Works Pole on NYC 'L' Train"

"Talk about a strap-hanger," crows CBS New York. Subway passengers in the Big Apple this week got more than the price of admission when they were treated to a free and impromptu striptease and pole dance by "an unidentified man . . . in black briefs and black high-heel stilettos."

What's more, witnesses (not to mention the video of the event) indicate that this Buck Naked knew exactly "what he was doing." Yep, looks he was a male stripper getting warmed up for his night gig. No word whether any of the ladies on the subway (or dudes for that matter) whipped any dollar bills into Buck's black briefs.

Maybe so, or maybe not, since Buck's reviews were mixed. "He was barely wearing any clothes. Well, that is offensive," complained passenger Prince Arrow (real name). Not everyone shared Prince's prudishness, however.

Nope, other passengers were glad to see the special added attraction that Buck provided: "It was kind of nice to have some diversity, some original things going on. Entertainment, free entertainment," said passenger Heixan Robles (likewise real name).

And it was fans of Buck such as Heixan Robles who shared their appreciation by forming into a "makeshift flash mob" and launching into a "flash mob dance party" to help "egg on" Buck's little bare-skinned romp.

Which begs the question: Who's the crazier -- the deranged man who does the stark-naked deed, or those who would encourage him? Personally, I think the whole lot of 'em are without a stitch of sense.

http://www.wgme.com/newsroom/top_stories/videos/wgme_vid_7986.shtml
http://www.pressherald.com/news/dump-truck-puts-gaping-hole-in-house_2011-05-27.html
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/05/26/flash-mob-dance-party-breaks-out-as-stripper-works-pole-on-nyc-l-train/

He's Got the Charts to Prove It: Researcher Says Obama Will Be Rocked By Scandal Prior to the 2012 Election...

I hope this character ain't looking for any federal grants anytime soon. His name is Brendan Nyhan, and he's purportedly a scholar in Health Policy Research at the University of Michigan. And his latest research is most ominous to Obama's current status as the clear favorite to win the 2012 presidential election over whomever the mostly hapless republicans stick in there to challenge him.

Nyhan's new report says that Obama has a 95-100% chance of being rocked by a presidential scandal next summer if Obama manages to escape scandal before that. And Nyhan can back it up: Dude has his own mathematical formula -- not to mention plenty of charts and graphs! (No word whether Ross Perot and Karl Rove commissioned his study).

Nyhan fascinatingly points out that Obama has been most lucky so far -- going almost as long as any president in 30 years without being hit by his first true scandal. (Sorry, but Obama forgetting what year it was last week doesn't quite count).

Says Nyhan's report: "In the 1977-2008 period, the longest that a president has gone without having a scandal featured in a front-page Washington Post article is 34 months -- the period between when President [George W.] Bush took office in January 2001 and the Valerie Plame scandal in October 2003." Obama is almost to 30 months right now.

Nyhan predicts that Obama "will follow a similar trajectory to Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton (who both suffered significant first-term scandals)." But a caveat! Nyhan says that Obama may have at least one prayer of avoiding a first-term scandal: A complicit and heavily left-leaning American "mainstream" media. Damn pesky media bias.

Specifically, Nyhan says that: "Obama is treated more favorably by the media compared to his predecessors because he is America's first black president."

But I have to say I disagree with the good professor on that one: I think that undeniable bias has little to do with race, and everything to do with the "D" next to his name. Hillary would've gotten largely the same level of complicity and advocacy from the so-called "mainstreamers."

And there's another thing that Nyhan admits might save Obama: "The direction of media coverage in the coming months." Nyhan says that the media has been largely distracted by huge stories during Obama's tenure (e.g., Bin Laden's assassination, the Gulf oil spill, the ongoing Arab Fling, etc.), and he says that the continuation of that pattern could help to keep a lid on any pending or upcoming Obama scandal.

Says Nyhan on this point: "Continued unrest in the Middle East or other news events could also dampen the odds of a scandal breaking."

You here that, Obama? Better ratchet up our bullshit neo-con involvement in Libya and consider taking the fight to Syria!!! Your re-election may depend on it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1391859/The-math-proves-Obama-set-scandal-SOON.html

Rush: Sarah Palin Could Beat Obama and Scares Democrat Party the Most. Rager to Slimebaugh: Don't Piss on My Back & Tell Me It's Rick Perry...

With Sarah Palin sending signals that she may run for president after all, Rush Slimebaugh appeared to jump all over her bandwagon late this week. Slimebaugh said that Palin would have a very legitimate chance of defeating Obama in 2012 and, further, is the candidate that the democrat party fears the most!

I call bunk, not that I think Slimebaugh really believes any of those words, anyway. More on that in a minute...

The Odds of Palin Beating Obama Are About as High as Discovering Oil Beneath a Mississippi Shithouse

There's something black down there, alright, but it ain't Black Gold or Texas Tea -- and neither is Palin.

I believe that if there is one republican who definitively cannot beat Obama, it's Palin. There are simply too many people out there having a pronounced and established negative view of her -- I among them.

That's too many people (predominantly Independents) who would not even consider voting for her, while they would seriously consider (or at least in some part consider) voting for most of the other republican candidates.

I feel like Mickey Goldmill in Rocky III over here: You can't win, Rock (errr, Hottie).

The Real Reason the Leftists Obsess Over Palin: Pure, Unadulterated Hatred

And I don't put much stock, either, in Slimebaugh's pronouncement that the democrat party fears Palin. I've said this before: I accuse (and justifiably so) the leftist 20 percenters of many things, but being stupid is not typically among them.

The reason they've obsessed over Palin like no other republican that I can recall in my lifetime is that they just can't help themselves: Leftist 20 percenters absolutely hate any conservative or republican who is not a white male, and they made Palin their poster child in this regard. People who are not white males are not supposed to be conservative or republican, after all! (Sorry for the double negative).

Put another way: A female, black or Hispanic having the gall to be anything other than a nice little democrat party liberal is loathed by the leftists more than anything -- and they will always go after such a person with everything they have.

Giving Palin the full loony leftist treatment has had little to do with Palin's presidential chances, but everything to do with her sex and her politics.

And the democrat party accuses the republicans this week of being the anti-women party! The hilarity! But I digress.

Slimebaugh Cannot Believe the Words That Come Out of His Own Mouth

So Slimebaugh's statements now having been debunked, why did he make them? Slimebaugh's not stupid, after all. I actually give him credit for being pretty damn bright, even if there are few people as swift as the Rager. (Joke!)

Keep in mind also, this is a guy who for weeks last year said that deranged right-winger (and literal "Witchy Woman") Christine O'Donnell actually had a legitimate chance to win the Delaware Senate seat when she had no chance and everyone knew it.

It's similar here. Slimebaugh's agendas control his words and lead him often to say things that I don't think even he believes.

He'll First Play Up Palin 'Cause He Sure as Hell Ain't Gonna Run Down a Staunch Conservative

So what are Slimebaugh's agendas? I believe there are least two at play here: (1) Slimebaugh's desire to run everyone out of the republican party (at least in terms of the powerbrokers) who's not a dyed in the wool social and economic conservative; and (2) what I believe is his high desire for Texas governor Rick Perry (pictured above w/ the six-shooter) to toss his hat into the republican presidential field.

The first agenda leads him to naturally support candidates like Palin and O'Donnell even when they have no chance to win because Slimebaugh would rather have a conservative run and lose than a perceived "moderate" run who might win or lose.

After all, non-establishment conservatives and tea party types like Slimebaugh genuinely disdain so-called "RINOS" (alleged moderate "Republicans In Name Only") almost to the same degree that the leftist 20 percenters hate non-white male conservatives and republicans. (Must be such a joy to be a member of either of these two parties!)

He'll Also Play Up Palin to Scare Rick Perry (or Others) Into Running

The second agenda is admittedly a theory of mine, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that my political theories are typically either dead-on right or at the very least turn out to have significant elements of truth. (Hey, somebody's gotta pat me on the back!)

I believe Slimebaugh thinks that playing up a crazy, damaged goods person like Palin as a serious candidate will lead a perceived republican heavy-hitter like Rick Perry (or maybe Chris Christie) to run -- the thought being, someone's gotta get in there and make sure she doesn't get the GOP nomination since she'd have no chance of winning.

Slimebaugh would love Perry to get involved. Perry is what I often call a true deranged right-winger tea party type (thus passing Slimebaugh's litmus test) and, truth be told, would be a very serious challenger to Obama. If you told me that Perry is a guy that would scare the hell out of the democrat party, then I'd agree with you.

So when Slimebaugh makes these kinds of crazy statements about Palin's chances and how people are "afraid" of her, take it all with a grain of salt. Just as when the leftist 20 percenters say things and make pronouncements, it's no different with the right-wingers: Always an agenda at play. Either that, or (if he actually believes his statements) maybe Slimebaugh really is just that stupid (doubt it).

http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/on-the-record/transcript/limbaugh-palin-scares-039establishment039-gop-and-democrats-obama-039easily-beatable039

"Objection, Your Honor -- Her Cleavage Is Showing!" Lawyer Accuses Rival of Using Paralegal "With a Figure Like Christina Hendricks" to Distract Jury

Frankly, there aren't too many courtrooms in the country where you'd see such an asinine issue come up or even be raised. But this is Chicago and Cook County. The Chicago Way. Barack Obama & All. Say no freakin' more.

In the Windy City, a defense lawyer in a small claims case is accusing the plaintiffs' lawyer of using a "large breasted" paralegal at counsel table to try to distract the jury from the matters at hand (links at bottom). And he's fightin' mad over it!

The Plus-Sized Details of a Most Chesty Dispute

The defense lawyer, Thomas Gooch, has filed a motion asking the judge to bar "buxom" Daniella Atencia from sitting beside plaintiffs' lawyer Dmitry Feofanov during an upcoming trial. Daniella and Dmitry are pictured together immediately above.

While truth be told, you can't tell too much about Daniella's rack from that particular picture, she "is said to have a figure like Mad Men's Christina Hendricks" (also pictured above) -- meaning this is one big bosomy broad! (And who gave Daniella those glasses, anyway, Woody Allen?).

Gooch says that the shapely Daniella's "sole purpose is to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings." He calls the "sitting of a buxom woman at counsel's table" an "unfair tactic" and accuses opposing counsel Dmitry of using this "dirty trick" to try to "sabotage his case." (Dmitry, BTW, represents plaintiffs Song and Maria Sayavongsa, who are suing car dealership Exotic Motors over a used car beef.)

Gooch claims to have previous experience with Dmitry "using" the robust Daniella and her sizable hooters in just such a way during an arbitration. As a result, Gooch says that Daniella and her hot headlights are sure to show up at trial "dressed in such a fashion to call attention to herself." Gooch was actually reportedly able to get the big-canned Daniella barred from the earlier arbitration proceeding on this same legal basis!

The Full-Figured Flunkie with the Huge Knockers Ain't Even a Real Paralegal (Allegedly)!

Gooch also says that big boobs or not, the luscious Daniella and her fulsome fun bags have no business at counsel table, if for no other reason than she's not actually a paralegal (Gooch alleges):

"Personally, I like large breasts," Gooch said. "However, I object to somebody I don't think is a qualified paralegal sitting at the counsel table."

Gooch even goes so far as to basically accuse of Dmitry of misrepresenting the paralegal credentials of his big-jugged "foxy assistant" to the Cook County Court. While two existing court orders show the busty Daniella and her massive meat puppets being paid as a paralegal, Gooch says that doesn't prove a damn thing:

"That means Dmitry handed up a bill to a judge that said paralegal on it. I don't believe it's a legitimate thing. It's a sham."

But with Gooch trying to make him out to look like a fruit sundae on "The Rabbit Who Ate Las Vegas," Dmitry is firing back in support of the full-bosomed "brunette beauty" Daniella and her mountainous melons:

Specifically, Dmitry has filed a response to Gooch's motion and "has slammed Gooch for sexism, insisting that his stunning sidekick is his paralegal assistant, and that he needs her at his table" during the trial.

The Plus-Proportioned Paralegal & Her Hearty Twins Should Be Allowed to Stay, I Say!

Gooch's motion seeks to boot the luxuriantly stacked Daniella and her "ample figure" back to the courtroom "gallery with the other spectators." But that's where the tatas of his arguments start to sag a bit for the ol' Goocher.

For example, why wouldn't a thinly-clad and curvaceous Daniella (not to mention her monstrous mammaries) be just as "distracting" sitting in the front row of the gallery as she'd be 15-20 feet away at counsel table?

Also, how in the hell does Gooch overcome that what's good for the bazongas is also good for the bazooms: If the juicy and toothsome tracks of land hoed by Daniella are truly distracting to the jury, isn't she just as distracting during Dmitry's case in chief as she would be during the defense case? How is Gooch harmed any more than Dmitry?

The judge hasn't yet ruled on Gooch's motion, but will have to do so soon since trial starts June 2. I'll personally find it hilarious if he kicks the voluptuous Daniella and her huge honkers back to the gallery, since that is so completely unnecessary.

If I'm the judge, my ruling is simple: Defendant's motion is denied, but the parties are advised that professional attire is to be worn in this courtroom at all times. If anything other than professional attire is worn during trial, the Court will exclude such person from the entire courtroom.

Simple as that. But then again, we are still talking about Cook County, Illinois.

(Damn pesky free legal analysis).

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/news/local/chibrknews-lawyer-protests-presence-of-buxom-woman-20110525,0,3039522.story

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/05/26/2011-05-26_lawyer_opponent_is_using_sexy_assistant_to_distract_jury_i_like_large_breasts_bu.html?r=news

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1391193/Thomas-Gooch-objects-busty-woman-court.html#

More Lady Teachers Gone Wild (!), As One Makes Students Clean School Crappers and Another Allegedly Has a 15-Year-Old Boy Student Grope Her Up...

Well, at least neither teacher is accused of banging five of her male students in an "orgy" at her home. That was last week. This week, we get (1) a "Toilet Teacher" in Connecticut who forced her students to clean the school shithouse if they wanted the privilege of using the facilities, and (2) a teacher in Arizona accused of having a student feel her up (although she claims she "only" made out with the boy). (Links at bottom).

Maybe next we'll get some lady teacher who rolls both concepts into one and makes students cook lunch in the cafeteria while Teach excuses herself to the boiler room to "only" steal a few kisses from little Dickie Pole...

She Just Wanted to Teach Them an "Important Lesson"

Talk about making a kid want to hold it in. In Catherine Saur's art class in Hartford, Connecticut, the price of admission to the school shithouse over the past two years has been that you first give that latrine a good and thorough cleaning -- toilets and all.

And if you thought you could get away with just giving the ol' head a quick once-over, you'd be thinkin' wrong. Ms. Saur expected a professional clean job on the can, just like a janitor would render. Students were armed with paper towels and cleaning bleach before being sent in for the dirty deed. (What, no rubber gloves?!?)

It didn't even matter if neither Number 1 nor Number 2 was on the child's mind: Ms. Saur's rule applied "even if they only went to the bathroom to wash their hands."

My, how sanitary! I wonder how many students avoided washing their grubby little paws before lunch just to avoid Ms. Saur's cruel crapper duty.

Regardless, the shit really hit the school toilet at a recent "emergency" PTO meeting, where "nearly two dozen parents" showed up to complain about Ms. Saur's powder room practices.

One peeved parent named Jane Russell (not the buxom Hollywood A-Lister) said her son had an allergic reaction to the bleach cleaner. Crowed Russell about the pee-dicament: "That's not acceptable! You shouldn't be cleaning the toilet. That's the custodian's job!"

Another parent named Archie Bunker was equally steamed: "They made my little girl clean the tur-let!", shouted Arch.

Although Ms. Saur has now become Johnny on the Spot, this Miss Priss of the Privy is refusing any comment in defense of her sudatorium shenanigans. It's also not clear whether or not the school will force her to shut down her little sweat room charades.

However, at least one parent has rushed to Ms. Saur's defense faster than a so-called hand washin' in a Mississippi shithouse. PTO secretary Nancy Moreaux said Ms. Saur "was only trying to teach kids an important lesson":

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat," spouted the obviously demented Moreaux.

"I ONLY Kissed Him!"

That was the defense of 26-year-old Arizona teacher Christie Elliott (pictured above -- the one not cleaning a toilet bowl) to charges that she had one of her English students do just a little bit more than polish her apple. Prosecutors in Vail, Arizona say Ms. Elliott "had her 15-year-old pupil touch her intimately and sent him inappropriate texts."

Pulling a stunt straight out of the Bill Clinton playbook, Elliott was quick to put forward her own version of the "I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Woman" defense. Says Elliott: "I only kissed him! We shared a kiss and during that kiss I had sexual thoughts."

Elliott's admission that she, at the very least, did slip the young lad the ol' tongue has managed to buy her a nice little plea bargain: In exchange for some of the charges against her being dropped, she's pled guilty to aggravated assault of a minor.

Now Elliott's facing the reality of having to steal her kisses from a different lookin' sort of Butch inside the ladies' state pokey. She could be sent up the river for two years and "will also have to register as a sex offender."

But Elliott should look on the bright side: At least in the ladies' lockup, I don't think the hacks make the babe cons clean the shitter before they can use it.

http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Hartford-Teacher-Forced-Students-to-Clean-Toilets-122510064.html?dr

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1390583/Ex-teacher-Christie-Elliott-faces-years-prison-inappropriate-relationship-student-15.html#

Speaking of Crazy Psychos, "Macho Man" Randy Savage's Death Has Brought Out All Sorts of Wild Stories This Week. But From the Diamond, Not the Ring?

In the aftermath of Macho Man's death late last week, a simple Google search will quickly yield all sorts of recollections and crazy accounts from those who knew him. One I found most entertaining was SI.com's story this week on Macho Man's relatively brief professional baseball career in the early 1970's as a minor leaguer in the Cardinals and Reds organizations (link at bottom; pictures above)

One part of the story details the 1973 period in which Macho Man was promoted to the St. Louis Cardinals' Class A affiliate in Orangeburg, S.C., where Savage was managed by former major league slugger Jimmy Piersall (pictured above). And just get a load of some of the insane things this crazy cat reportedly did in and around the ball diamond:

-Once during a game when the umpire was bent over and sweeping the dirt off of home plate, he ran down the third base line "and took out the umpire for no apparent reason."

-He once got into a fistfight with an opposing player during a game and a scuffle with a teammate after the same game.

-He once got in trouble after he "spanked the four-year-old son of a teammate" in the clubhouse during a game.

-Once he was ejected from four games in less than three weeks.

-The last of those four ejections came following a second inning strikeout. Prior to that at-bat, he celebrated a teammate's home run "by spraying a water pistol on home plate."

-After that fourth ejection, he made his way up to the grandstand roof "to heckle the home plate umpire."

-On another occasion, he again brandished the water pistol and "squirted an umpire."

-"He once stepped up to bat wearing a Beatles wig and playing 'air guitar' on his bat."

-He once hit a home run and then ran backwards around the bases in order to garner some additional media attention.

-He also frequently mimicked opposing players and was known to run the bases with his arms spread "like an airplane."

-During one game, he "led cheers for himself" during breaks in play.

-During one break in play, he "hid behind centerfield monuments" and was heard purporting to "talk" to the deceased Babe Ruth.

The only thing is: I'm not even talking about Randy Savage. It was Jimmy Piersall who reportedly did all of those things (taking out the umpire while he was the manager of Savage's team, with the other incidents all occurring during his big league playing days with the Boston Red Sox and other teams).

"Man, was he ever crazy," said Savage teammate Bill Lorillard with respect to their Orangeburg skipper, Piersall. Yep, as nutty as Jared Loughner sans the crime spree (allegedly).

Or to use Patrick Kennedy-approved language, and as the SI.com story puts it, Piersall's "mental stability was often in question." Indeed, Piersall actually once received shock therapy in the nuthouse (no joke).

As for Savage -- no crazy man there, at least not on the baseball field. By all accounts, Savage was one hell of a hardworking, disciplined and smart minor league catcher (with a gun for an arm). He simply didn't have the talent to rise above the Class A level, particularly as a batter.

When Savage (real name, Randy Poffo) was finally out of baseball in 1974, he suddenly had to find a new way to make a living. The squared circle was a logical career choice since his old man (Angelo Poffo) had also been a pro wrestler.

And the rest was history. But I wonder just how much of Savage's one season around that crazy-ass Piersall might have influenced the creation of his over-the-top "Macho Man" character? Too bad he didn't bring Piersall along to serve as his pro wrestling manager as well. O-H Yeah!

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/the_bonus/05/23/macho.man/index.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Piersall
http://espn.go.com/classic/s/piersalljimadd000817.html
http://www.nami.org/ADVTemplate.cfm?Section=Advocate_enewsletter_2008&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=65995

Democrat Party's Patrick Kennedy Says He Feels For Alleged Gabrielle Giffords Shooter Jared Loughner & Says Don't Call Him "Psycho." OK, I'm Game...

In the linked story and interview from this week, Patrick Kennedy (the son of "Liberal Lion" Teddy Kennedy) says he doesn't care too much for people who call madmen like Loughner such terms as "psycho," "crazy" and "nuts."

Kennedy also says he "feels" for Loughner's predicament and has "sympathy" for the maniacal baldman who allegedly shot Giffords right in the head at point-blank range and killed six others:

"Clearly his brain was not working properly when he picked up that gun and shot all of those people . . . Clear that this is someone who is mentally, physically challenged in these psychotic breaks that he was suffering from . . . We failed as a society . . . ."

In addition to crediting Loughner for merely being "mentally and physically challenged," Kennedy also blasted society at large for "not helping" deranged people like odd fellow Loughner and expressed disdain towards labeling such people with descriptions such as "nuts."

So let me get this straight: When the immediate effort to blame deranged right-wingers like Sarah Palin and the tea party for Loughner's actions just didn't pan out (since damn pesky Jared had no track record of right-winger sympathies), next up is to just blame society at large? Isn't Bush available?

But you know what? I think the leftist 20 percenter Kennedy may just have a point over there. As a result, I'm going to refrain from calling Loughner a "psycho," and I'm not even going to call him "nuts" or "crazy." However, Kennedy didn't say anything precluding any of my other thoughts and observations on Loughner:

That lunatic's more bananas than a brain salad surgery teaching prop at Northwestern University. More crackers than even I toss into a Wendy's large chili. More underdone than a California Roll on a bed of seaweed. This whack job couldn't find his marbles at Toys 'R' Us.

And in addition to being someone straight out the booby hatch, this loon Loughner is a slimeball, a sleazebucket, a scumwad, a dirtbag, a veritable creepshow.

If representative Kennedy doesn't care for me talking in this fashion, I suggest he go have a good cry with house speaker John Boehner, since that's apparently one of the most favored pastimes of those two assclowns.


[BTW, nice rack, San Fran Nan -- and do I spot a hint of Nip on the left side of that snapshot?].

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0511/55491.html

Speechless.

http://www.kansascity.com/2011/05/22/2894488/deadly-tornado-strikes-joplin.html