Coolest. Hot Broad. EVER? Rihanna Smokes Cigarettes and Shows Her Bare Ass & Topless Torso on New Brazilian Beach Photo Shoot!

The only possible things missing here are some beers, some greasy eats, and some other hot little number joining in on the fun!

But I'll leave Utopia for the leftists. Oftentimes pert-near perfect is about as good as it can (or needs to) get.

http://www.eonline.com/news/502040/rihanna-poses-topless-shares-sexy-bikini-photos-while-in-brazil-see-the-pics
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2543209/Rihanna-poses-topless-just-pair-tiny-gold-bikini-bottoms-photo-shoot-Copacabana-Beach.html

Has He Been Smokin' the Tree Again?!? Obama's Claims About the Safety of Pot Use Reportedly Directly Contradict His Own White House "Drug Czar"...

Obama ordains in a new New Yorker article that marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol or cigarettes, as he extolled the virtues of states like Colorado and Washington legalizing the Scooby Doobie.  Unfortunately, the official stance of Obama's "National Drug Control Policy" (posted on the White House's website, although I doubt for much longer) purportedly says just the opposite.  According to reports on the site:

"Marijuana smoke has significantly more carcinogens than tobacco smoke [and] does something that alcohol does not; it causes permanent brain damage, including lowering of I.Q. [in teens]" (link below).

As such, Obama's Bizarro-World comments reportedly "have anti-drug leaders worried about negative repercussions among youth."  Posits right-winger publication Washington Times (for whatever it might be worth), "Taxpayers have spent billions of dollars warning about drugs, often about marijuana, but these efforts were dramatically undercut by [Obama's] comments."

So, not only is Obama arguably the most leftist president in American history (in a country which is not), and not only would he miss the road towards a balanced budget if the alternate route went 2 feet then cliff, but apparently his own words are also now a bad influence on all the kids. Quite the legacy.

But I am lookin' for something positive to say here, to try to give this individual the benefit of the doubt. Best I can do:

Maybe Obama isn't actually as much of an uninformed, buffoonish idiot as W Bush was, and instead he was just lying again? That way, Obama could still bitterly cling to being the so-called "smartest guy in every room" (even if he may fraudulently falsify things at times when convenient -- not to mention that I've never found him overly bright). But hey, I know 20 percent who still "Believe."

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/jan/21/obamas-white-house-drug-experts-contradict-his-mar/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/19/obama-marijuana-alcohol_n_4627740.html

Glass Jaw: "Obama's Half-Brother 'Floored' About President's LYING About Meeting Him." "Floored"? Really?

Let me give ya a little piece of advice over there, half-brother: If Obama lying (closely akin to Sun Rising, Mick Fighting, Kraut Drinking, tea partier Coping, etc.) truly "floors" you, then watch out you don't start up an MMA or boxing career anytime soon. You're likely to be KO'd by a damn breeze.

(Like Victor Ortiz.  Over there.)

http://nationalreview.com/corner/367435/obamas-half-brother-floored-about-presidents-lying-about-meeting-him-andrew-johnson

Mixed [Fun] Bags: Bountifully Bosomy Blonde Broad Explains All the Pros and Cons of Having Size LLL Bazongas...

She's 46-year-old "glamour model" Lacey Wildd, the star of a recent episode of TLC's "My Strange Addiction." Her mission in life seems to involve educating the world about what it means to sport huge size LLL jugs 24/7 -- both the positives and a few pesky negatives of everyday life.

Her mighty melons may be fake jobs, but she says there's nothing fake about toting 'em around every day.  To wit, and first on the bright side of the honkers:

- Her sizable honeysuckles allow Wildd to perform an assortment of "bizarre party tricks"  for one and all.

- This includes using her comely chest as a drinks tray, "proudly balancing two champagne glasses without a wobble."

- She then pulls out her Halloween specials, dimming the lights and taking a flashlight to her ample headlights: "I've gots my own jack-o'-lanterns!," Wildd nips.

But Wildd also explains that she goes bust when it comes to many of life's garden-variety chores and activities:

- She complains that she can't spot her own feet or hold her kids because of her curvaceous charleys. Figuring out when she needs a pedicure is pert-near impossible.

- And forgettabout lying down on her back, which she can only stomach for short spells before becoming "faint." Says Wildd: "I feel like I'm being suffocated."  (Just hope she gots 'a quick old man).

- This leads to some odd contortions and maneuvers in the sack, where Wildd says she employs "four or five pillows to keep her propped up at a 30 degree angle" at night.

- And givin' mommy a hug ain't so easy for Wildd's young daughter, who explains: "I just give it [a hug] under her boobs so they don't crush me."

And just when you thought that a bafflingly buxom not-so-little number like this has now accomplished it all, Wildd says she still has two big mountains left to climb: As in upsizing to a size QQQ so she will claim the World Title of "The Largest Augmented Breasts" Out There.

Wildd has already raised $23,000 and change in donations for the surgery, saying "I want to leave a legacy to my children" before "the boobs retire." No clear yet if the knockers are considering an early retirement, or age 66, or a diversified strategy in which one donkey-kong starts drawin' while the other can keeps earnin'. (Kids: Never stick your Cage Balls all in one basket).

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/07/lacey-wildd-_n_4556901.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2536146/Ive-got-jack-o-lanterns-Busty-blonde-performs-bizarre-party-tricks-size-LLL-implants.html

Obama Economy After 5 Plus, Long Years:"1600 Applicants Flood Maryland Ice Cream Factory For 36 Jobs"...

On the bright side of things, this joint is likely to have a crew comprised of some of the most talented and over-qualified ice cream factory workers in human history. "Progress"!


http://www.newsmax.com/US/maryland-ice-cream-factory-jobs/2014/01/06/id/545361

Oh, an Aristocrat! "FORKGATE" Engulfs Leftist New York City Mayor Bill "d"e Blasio, As He Takes Knife & Fork to Pizza Rather Than Eating It Like We Average Joe's Do...

Make no mistake, "d"e Blasio is every leftist's wet dream nationwide: A pure leftist who thinks everything about bigger government and taxes (even in a never-ending rotten economy) is good, and everything about you is an idiot (in need of his infinitely intelligent and compassionate care over there)...

The leftist 20 percenters love having a bona fide member of their ranks as The Boss of America's largest city. Besides, when "d"e Blasio's reign does go south (which it will), they'll just blame it on Bush, Climate Change, or how they "Inherited This Mess."  And they'll pretty much get away with it too.

Regardless, just look at this goof in the above pictures! Really??? Stabbing at a slice of Big Apple Pie like he was His Majesty's guest at an Obama State Dinner? You would have been much better served to have overslept again and missed this appearance, Mr. Mayor.

Because you know the common folks out on your own city street, not to mention the common folks on my street over here in flyover territory, about as well as you know how to work an alarm clock, pal.

Have fun with your choice of Mayor over there, Big Apple: Just watch out he don't snap off your stem while his off-hand snatches away the rest of things when you ain't lookin'. Likely with a knife and fork, no less!

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2014/01/after-pizza-flap-bill-de-blasios-new-york-street-cred-takes-another-hit/

Party Poopers: New Gallup Poll Reports that "Record-High 42% of Americans Identify as Independents"!

The record number 42% of Americans who currently identify themselves as Independents compares to a measly 31% who for some reason identify with the leftist democrat party, and a paltry 25% who actually find reason to align with the gop-er party.

So it's not even close: I stand with a lot more people than the group-thinking, dinosaur-minded minions who inhabit the democrat party and gop-er party.  I'd like just one of those slimes to tell me again, right now, for the 10,000th time in my life, how I need to "pick a side"...

Because I made my choice years ago, you creeps. And there's a lot more people on my side of things nowadays than on yours, you right-winger and leftist louts. Stick that in your partisan ideologue pipes and smoke it, why don't ya?

And just realize, democrat party and gop-er party slugs, you are now clearly in the minority of thought in this country. You may currently have the power and make all the noise, but you move incessantly farther towards the fringes with each passing day...

Your numbers decline. Every day your extreme world views become further exposed for what they are (i.e., complete crocks of shit). And it couldn't be happenin' to a nicer bunch of kooks, loons, goons, fools and goofs.

http://www.gallup.com/poll/166763/record-high-americans-identify-independents.aspx?ref=image

"Professor Blames 'Southern White Radicals' for Obamacare Debacle." Hint #1 for Spotting a "Radical": Look Straight At Any Person Who Accuses Another of Being One...

Ever notice that just about the only people who ever use the term "radical" are, themselves, "radicals"?  As in this leftist New York professor's loony statement above. Or when a right-winger accuses a leftist of being radical.  Pot, meet Kettle, you two skunkwad extremes.

Indeed, the "radicals" in the country are never too hard to spot. Look no further than the leftist 20 percenter base of the democrat party and the right-winger base of the gop-er party. These people refer to themselves variously by the "l," "p" and "c" words, but they'll always be leftists and right-wingers to me. How radical!

And alas, I was just happy -- in reading leftist Prof's words -- that Midwestern White Independents aren't the ones responsible for the Obamacare debacle. Already being a racist for opposing Obama, I need to also be blamed for the Obamacare monstrosity like I need a damn hole in the head over here!

http://www.politicsincolor.com/gbmarshall/2013/2013-year-racial-challenges
http://dailycaller.com/2014/01/01/professor-blames-southern-white-radicals-for-obamacare-debacle/

The Don Had Been Slippin': Martin Scorsese Makes One F*ck of a Comeback, Shattering the All-Time Single Film F-Bomb Record in "The Wolf of Wall Street"...

It's good to see this old greaseball back on top. I thought he'd lost it.  Not for nuttin', but Goodfellas and Casino were released a long, long time ago now...

Both them pictures from the first half of the '90s crashed the All-Time Hollywood Top 20 for most F-Bombs dropped in one film (Casino at 422; Goodfellas at 300). 

Then came 2006's Departed, which was to be Scorsese's return to form.  Hardly.  That picture didn't even crack the F-Bomb Top 20.  A "Bomb" indeed.

But just when you when ya might've thunked that you could keep down the King of the Multi-Minute Dolly Shot, the old geezer makes one of the most astonishing Hollywood comebacks since Michael came out the shithouse with more than just his dick in his hands...

According to the linked report, Scorsese's new The Wolf of Wall Street has not only hit the Top 20, but is now Numero Uno all-time -- clocking in with an incredible 506 F-Bombs in total. And it wasn't even close (the previous #1 -- 1999's Summer of Sam -- sported a measly 435 F-Bombs).  Mother Fucker!

http://variety.com/2014/film/news/wolf-of-wall-street-breaks-f-word-record-1201022655/

Not a Mundane Daily Detail: "Tourist Walks Off Pier While Browsing on Facebook." And Who Wouldn't Be So Enthralled with the Facebook?

From The Guardian:  "A tourist is lucky to be alive after she plunged into Melbourne's Port Phillip Bay while browsing on Facebook, police say. The woman was walking along St. Kilda pier engrossed in social media when she walked off the pier into the dark and chilly water."

But take just one look at the Facebook sometime, and it's easy to see why someone would be so captivated with attention such as to take a header into the ocean while browsing. I'm talking your prototypical, high-interest Facebook nuggets like these (based on personal past recollections and a few saved ones):

- "Just left grocery store. On way 2 pick up the kids. Just hit a pothole. Ouch!"

- "Check out my new foto album from are Branson fam vacation.  Billy did da go-carts!"

- "My moms step-uncle's 3rd cousin on the utter side died 10 years ago 2day. RIP, Bubba."

- "I'm So Excited: If Kristi H heres 1 more word on hear bout anything serious or political, then yer da-friended. Dont even pass go. Head strate to dafriend."

- "I picked up Bobbie Sue's prom dress just now down ats the square. If she can squeeze in2 it, she's gonna look real purdy!"

- "The old lady is-a leavin my arse and takin them kids wit her. I need me a Big To-Do to lawyer this. A Big Whoop-To-Do!"

- "Yeah, I'm down 2 the Sonic. Anyone wanna a corn dog?"


You know, come to think of it, maybe this Facebook-browsing broad walking straight off a pier into cold dark water wasn't so inadvertent.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/dec/18/tourist-walks-off-pier-while-browsing-on-facebook

Oh My, the Truly Special Things that New Year's Eve Means to So Many of Us as the Day Ushers in a Fresh New Year...

I'm nearly giddy and ecstatic over here as I ponder all the bright possibilities that 2014 has to offer. Please allow me to count the ways, in no particular order:

- The New Year means I embark upon my 4th year of being a man (under the Mike Gundy definition). Although, gotta say, this man thing ain't exactly all it's cracked up to be. May I go back to my 20s, if only for a few days?

- The New Year means only 3 more years of the heinous presidency of Barack Obama. Although, after these two rotten parties have stuck us with two of the worst presidents in American history for 13 long years now, I don't exactly have a lot of confidence that we're gonna get a much better offering come 2016.

- The New Year means (prediction time here) a wonderful continuation of the gridlock that's resided in Washington DC since the 2010 midterms: Obama will be the president of course, and the right-winger gop-ers will maintain control of the House in the 2014 midterms. (Tell me, any fellow Independents out there, do you really want an end to gridlock, such that either of these two parties control everything (presidency, House and Senate) ever again? If so, please say "Obamacare" 10 times over and then get back to me.)

-The New Year means just another year of economic malaise across the country and sinful deficit spending by the federal government. Can you say $18 trillion national debt?

- The New Year means just another year of my sports teams (Kansas City and University of Missouri) failing to win much of anything of consequence, but yet again teasing all their fans by having their proverbial "moments."

- The New Year means I'm gonna have to shell out some jack to get a new stinkin' television. The old one went on the fritz, and while it's been nostalgic resurrecting the 13-inch job that I used in college, you have to sit like two feet in front of that son of a bitch to make out a damn thing.

- The New Year means that hot little blonde number on "Game of Thrones" may finally come across the sea and start kicking some ass (and makin' some love) on the mainland. Seems like that one's been in the works for four freakin' years already!

- The New Year means plenty of new violent carnage and hot broads on some of my other favorite TV shows, such as "Banshee," "Strike Back," "Justified," "Ray Donovan," "American Horror Story," "The Walking Dead," "Bates Motel," etc., etc.  That part of the New Year will be cool, leastways.

- The New Year means that one or more hot (but desperate) dolls who were once low-list celebrities will break into porn (or, at the very least, pose for Playboy). Who will it be this year? Kate Gosselin? Courtney Stodden? Ruben Studdard?

-And finally, the New Year (as it seems most years go anymore) means saying goodbye to at least a few old friends and family. And no, Senators and House members who get voted out in November -- you don't count.

So much to look forward to. And please do remind me next year not to count the ways again on the 31st.  It be bringin' down my whole damn day over here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMFYs3gfgis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaIjYvIayj0

Beat Them Little Shits Early & Often: Unique Parenting Book From 1994 Still Makes the Rounds on Amazon with a Message that the Only Bad Beating Is No Beating At All...

He ain't no Santa Clause.  It's titled, "To Train Up a Child" -- a "parenting book" written by Michael and Debi Pearl (pictured above) that first found popularity almost 20 years ago. And the book still apparently finds an audience on Amazon -- never mind that it "has been linked to three deaths in seven years."

And this literary classic's continued fandom is little mystery to me. To provide a little taste, just enough to wet your beak: From the info contained in the linked articles, I've attempted to distill the book's purported parenting advice into a sort of rudimentary Ten Commandments for Parents. Here goes (in no particular order):

1. Start the kid young on a regular "training" regiment that involves giving the tot a good beatin' daily with a leather strap or belt.

2. If that's not effective in training up the child, then go to town on the tike with a "one-foot-long ruler" (not 6 inches, mind you, but the full 12).

3. If that too doesn't work, graduate the brat up to a nice wooden yardstick.

4. Still having trouble? Then do a number on the nestling with a "large tree branch."

5. And if all else fails, get yourself a big "rod" and lay the metal down on the lad.

6. If the toddler is particularly quick, elusive and hard to catch, then "do not hesitate" to "sit on him" in order to administer the beatdown.

7. Be sure to "hold him down until he has surrendered."

8. The goal should always be to "defeat him totally."

9. Remember: Your unflinching goal must always be to instill, just like in a young puppy dog or a fledgling member of the Hitler Youth, an "unquestioning obedience" to your authority.

10. Therefore, behind every good beating or maiming is a "purpose to condition the child's mind and to make them surrender completely to their parents' authority."

So there you have it: All you'd ever want to know about child-rearing in ten simple, violent talking points. If only I'd heard of this book a few days ago when I was in need of a few last minute stocking stuffers. But oh well: They got nunchucks instead.

http://www.theweek.co.uk/society/56470/train-child-spanking-book-blamed-over-murders
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2522770/Inside-extreme-child-rearing-guide-advocates-whipping-children-belts-branches---linked-deaths-seven-years.html

Christmas Spirit: "Daddy Gave Us Matching Boob Jobs!," Say Cali Sisters After Their Plastic Surgeon Old Man Went to Work on 'Em...

He did a real number on 'em, too. To the tune of about 32-C. But ya know...

If your old man's a fisherman, you're going to grow up in a house with the stench of brine about it. If he's a mafia hood, you grow up with spontaneous gifts of TV sets, furs and gaudy jewelry all the time. And the same holds true if the old man's a plastic surgeon, apparently -- boob jobs and Botox all around for Daddy's little girls!

That's certainly the "charmed" life that's been led by Sisters Charm (buxom blonde) and Brittani (bosomy brunette) of Orange County, California (link below/pics above). Their old man is a local plastic surgeon, and just check out the toothsome timelines of these two broads' young lives (both now 25 years old):

- Charm "first went under [Daddy] Michael's knife at the tender age of 10 when she had her protruding belly button reshaped."

- Brittani first wanted a boob job when she was 15, but her parents (Dr. Mike and Mama Penny) went old school, forcing her to wait until she was 18. Says Brittani: "When I graduated high school, Daddy surprised me by saying, 'I've scheduled you in to have your boobs done next week.' I was so excited!"

- But that wasn't before Mama Penny took some further convincing. Says Mama: "Brittani was so insistent that eventually I said, "OK, show me your breasts.' Then I could see why she wanted implants and realized it would be beneficial for her to get her breasts enlarged, so I agreed."

-Three years later, the old man gave Brittani a nose job for her 21st birthday.

- And just so that Sis wouldn't get the upper honker over there, Charm had the old man give her a boob job earlier this year as well. This after Charm became concerned that "exercise had reduced the volume of her chest" (damn pesky healthy livin'). So that bust job was a real no-brainer: "I know I'm in safe hands [with Daddy]," said Charm.

- But there's more to life than just having big pair of fake cans, of course, and both Charm and Brittani make sure to avail themselves of all of the old man's services, "regularly having facial peels and Botox" at Daddy's clinic.

- Crowed Charm: "Every other month I'll get something done to my skin. I also get Botox in my armpits, which helps me stop sweating."

And on that big bowl of raunchy stench, the Rager bids everyone out there, big-bazonga'd or not, a Very Very Ma--mm--ary Christmas!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/dr-michael-niccole-plastic-surgeon-2919983
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2522510/Our-dad-gave-matching-boob-jobs-Sisters-making-cosmetic-surgeon-fathers-skills-theyve-Botox-nose-jobs-AND-belly-button-tuck.html

No Leg to Stand On: Creepy Hardware Store Zombie With No Legs & Only One Arm Turns Out NOT to be a Real Zombie!

Turns out, you see, that he was just pulling your leg. The recent YouTube video appeared to show a real-life, one-limbed member of the undead, as it hissed and snarled at terrified hardware store customers in Joisey. So frightened was one storegoer, in fact, that he took to hurling store merchandise at the ghoul...

But this horror show just didn't have legs, in the end, as the creep was only local prankster Nick Santonastasso -- who ain't even dead. He was born, however, with three missing limbs because of a condition known as Hanhart Syndrome -- which made his little Dawn of the Dead act all the more believable for customers and Net viewers.

Nick says he hopes the stunt will give him a leg up on the competition to land a zombie role on his favorite TV show, AMC's "The Walking Dead" (what else would it be?). I just hope the show -- whose Season 4 will be on its last legs come February -- gives this one-armed, legless little guy a chance to break a leg come Season 5. Just please don't let Michonne hack off his one remaining limb.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/teen-scares-shoppers-pretending-zombie-article-1.1546125

Leave It To Beaver: Playboy's Miss January 2013 Dani Mathers Seems to Bear Little or No Actual Resemblance to Her '60s TV Child Star Namesake, Jerry...

[Preface: This one is for my good friend, HAH, who lost an important person today. I've promised HAH this Dani Mathers post for at least a few weeks now, and so finally today I deliver -- Boob Biden and FakeNey Stodden be damned...]

My best Net researching efforts this week couldn't seem to pin down whether or not glamour model (Miss January 2013) Dani Mathers is actually related to the old "Beaver Cleaver" child star, Jerry Mathers (2nd pic above). But alas, what the hell does it really matter?

That's Dani above (at 24, young enough to be the Beaver's granddaughter) as she sashayed around a sandy photo shoot in Venice Beach recently. Oh My! (I'm not so sure Ward and June would approve of them duds, BTW).

And I don't mean to be a little hard on the Beaver, either: Before he got old and fat in real life, the Beaver was a cute little guy in the old show, best known for his bad grammar and various hijinks that typically resulting from Eddie Haskell or others "giving him the business."

So the Beaver could conceivably be kin to Dani. It ain't beyond the ol' realm. No foolin', Wally.

http://www.newsbeast.gr/lifestyle/arthro/615638/i-dani-mathers-ta-edose-ola-gia-hari-tou-fakou/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2516666/Playboys-Dani-Mathers-shows-bikini-body-sips-water-beach.html

Daddy Made 'Em Do It: "Bank-Robbing Brother & Sister Who Claimed They Were Forced Into Heists By Their Father Given Lengthy Prison Sentences"...

Kids:  Never pull a bank job with a sibling.

...Even if the old man okays it first.

http://www.630wpro.com/common/more.php?m=58&ts=1386345003&article=C4BE42F55E0311E3B51EFEFDADE6840A&mode=2
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2519020/Bank-robbing-brother-sister-say-recruited-father.html

"Husband Admits Gunning Down His 42-Year-Old Teacher Wife in Front of Their Son, 3, After Discovering Her Affair with 20-Year-Old Former Student." Dude!

What are ya thinkin', man?!? Walk away! Divorce the broad! Act like a master of your own destiny...

OR, just whack her out and spend the rest of your life getting ass-raped in the can. Wise choice, jackass.

http://www.vnews.com/home/9629633-95/husband-pleads-guilty-to-second-degree-murder-of-natalie-perriello
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2517879/Natalie-Perriello-murder-Husband-pleads-guilty-gunning-teacher-wife-son-3-having-affair-20-year-old-student.html

Up For Grabs? Following Alleged "Separation" of 19-Year-Old Courtney Stodden From Her 53-Year-Old Hubby, I Question Whether This Big Buxom Fake-Boobed Broad Is Truly Back on the Market...

"TV personality" Stodden this week retreated to a Cali beach for some sunbathing and various self-taken, narcissistic photos of herself (do they have a word for that now?)...

Of course, her old man -- 53-year-old "Green Mile actor" Doug Hutchison (who married Stodden when she was 16) -- was nowhere to be seen after the couple's recent "separation." But how much of this "separation" is just for show, and how much of it is actually real?

To wit (and as reported in the Daily Mail):

- "The couple are still living and working in close quarters."

- "Doug has retained his position as Courtney's co-manager."

- "The pair have continued to share their marital home."

- "Courtney and Doug were recently spotted enjoying a cosy dinner date at Musso and Frank in Hollywood despite their split."

Hardly sounds like Splitsville to me. And hardly necessary to garner publicity either...

As the linked story demonstrates (as well as another story this week about Stodden darkening her hair), all this hot little number has to do to generate some pub is show up somewhere in public with her mighty melons in tow. Hell, it's worked on me more than once over here. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2521069/Somewhere-Dougs-heart-breaking-Courtney-Stodden-takes-topless-selfie-tops-tan-own.html