I'm nearly giddy and ecstatic over here as I ponder all the bright possibilities that 2014 has to offer. Please allow me to count the ways, in no particular order:
- The New Year means I embark upon my 4th year of being a man (under the Mike Gundy definition). Although, gotta say, this man thing ain't exactly all it's cracked up to be. May I go back to my 20s, if only for a few days?
- The New Year means only 3 more years of the heinous presidency of Barack Obama. Although, after these two rotten parties have stuck us with two of the worst presidents in American history for 13 long years now, I don't exactly have a lot of confidence that we're gonna get a much better offering come 2016.
- The New Year means (prediction time here) a wonderful continuation of the gridlock that's resided in Washington DC since the 2010 midterms: Obama will be the president of course, and the right-winger gop-ers will maintain control of the House in the 2014 midterms. (Tell me, any fellow Independents out there, do you really want an end to gridlock, such that either of these two parties control everything (presidency, House and Senate) ever again? If so, please say "Obamacare" 10 times over and then get back to me.)
-The New Year means just another year of economic malaise across the country and sinful deficit spending by the federal government. Can you say $18 trillion national debt?
- The New Year means just another year of my sports teams (Kansas City and University of Missouri) failing to win much of anything of consequence, but yet again teasing all their fans by having their proverbial "moments."
- The New Year means I'm gonna have to shell out some jack to get a new stinkin' television. The old one went on the fritz, and while it's been nostalgic resurrecting the 13-inch job that I used in college, you have to sit like two feet in front of that son of a bitch to make out a damn thing.
- The New Year means that hot little blonde number on "Game of Thrones" may finally come across the sea and start kicking some ass (and makin' some love) on the mainland. Seems like that one's been in the works for four freakin' years already!
- The New Year means plenty of new violent carnage and hot broads on some of my other favorite TV shows, such as "Banshee," "Strike Back," "Justified," "Ray Donovan," "American Horror Story," "The Walking Dead," "Bates Motel," etc., etc. That part of the New Year will be cool, leastways.
- The New Year means that one or more hot (but desperate) dolls who were once low-list celebrities will break into porn (or, at the very least, pose for Playboy). Who will it be this year? Kate Gosselin? Courtney Stodden? Ruben Studdard?
-And finally, the New Year (as it seems most years go anymore) means saying goodbye to at least a few old friends and family. And no, Senators and House members who get voted out in November -- you don't count.
So much to look forward to. And please do remind me next year not to count the ways again on the 31st. It be bringin' down my whole damn day over here!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMFYs3gfgis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaIjYvIayj0
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