She Ain't Shorty, She's My Lover: "Nashville" Hottie Hayden Panettiere, All of 5'1", Appears Set to Tie the Knot with Boxing Giant Wladimir Klitschko! Got Me Thinking...

Oftentimes the short stuff can be the hot stuff. Hot is hot, no matter if you're a damn Amazon or near a midget. And the reported Hayden-Klitschko engagement left me pondering the question of who are some of hottest little tiny celebrities walking the planet today? To wit, here's 10 (and in no particular order):



-Carmen Electra: 5 feet and 2 inches of absolute glamour model, Baywatch love!



-Elisha Cuthbert: There's plenty north of the border on the smallish 5'2" Canadian actress.



-Lacey Chabert: Why in the hell is the 5'3" Chabert known as much for her voice acting as her on-screen work? Get this hot little number on camera for cryin' out loud!



-Lucy Liu: When is Sherlock Holmes finally going to get it on with the 5'2" "Elementary" star? The sexual tension on that show rings louder than a Geiger counter in an Alabama shithouse.



-Sarah Michelle Gellar: Don't ever call Buffy stumpy, even if she is only 5'2".



-Ashanti: This extremely hot shorty singer is actually the giant of my list, measuring in at a robust 5'3"-and-a-half plus.  OH MY!



-Tila Tequila: At only 4'11", how in the hell does she lug those big things around?



-Jessica Simpson: Some (including likely her) claim Jessica is 5'3" or taller, but I have it on good authority (i.e. an unsubstantiated anonymous comment on an obscure website) that this blonde broad is really only 5'1".



-Eva Longoria: This 5'1" Latin firebrand (ass pictured above) could be 7'1" or 4'1" for all I care. Good Grief.



-Charlene Tilton: Sure she doesn't look quite the same anymore (who does?), but those of us who grew up in the 80's all had the teenage hots for the tiny (4'11") "Dallas" star who played the "sly, vixenish" Lucy Ewing. The Barbie Doll-esque Charlene will ALWAYS stand tallest on my shorty hot list bench!

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-hayden-panettiere-wladimir-klitschko-glamour-20130402,0,5900835.story

Game of Thrones Season 3 Premiere's Biggest Surprises: Bronn Lives! Ser Barristan Lives! Julius Caesar Lives! Get Ready for Some Good Ass-Kickings...

It wasn't at all clear whether Bronn (mercenary sidekick to the diminutive Lord Tyrion Lannister) survived the big battle at the end of S2. Or whether Ser Barristan was even still alive after the repulsive coward King Joffrey kicked him to the curb at the end of S1. Or whether Caesar's death near the end of S1 of "Rome" might have been greatly exaggerated...

But in a rather riveting S3 premiere to "Game of Thrones" on Sunday, all three badasses are STILL ALIVE! Which immediatedly provided some excitement and promise to S3 following an S2 that meandered about just a bit slowly for this one's tastes.

What's I'd really like to see now is a hardcore tag team match pitting (1) Bronn and Ser Barristan (with the midget in their corner) versus (2) Joffrey and his daddy, Jaime Lannister (with Joffrey's mama and evil Queen Cersei in their corner). Caesar can be the celebrity referee...

While Jaime could hold his own against either Bronn or Barristan (but not both), Joffrey's pathetic presence pretty much assures the deaths of both him and his pompous ass, incestuous old man. And here's hoping that black pirate dude (Saan) shows up at the end of the match to fulfill his S2 promise to go to King's Landing and bang the Queen. Now THAT would be cool!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/01/game-of-thrones-ratings-season-3-premiere_n_2993506.html

I May Boycott Amazon After It "Defends Use of the C-Word in One of its Retailer's Ads." Kids: Never Use the C-Word, L-Word or P-Word, Even If THEY Want You To...

Those three words are not used in this blog. Those words are vile. They are digusting. Crass. Repulsive. Inappropriate. And downright nauseating...

They're the three words that the deranged right-wingers of the gop-er party and loony leftist 20 percenters of the democrat party have chosen for themselves. And those creeps don't deserve the respect of being called what they want.

Which brings me to Amazon. If they're going to turn a blind eye to retailers using the C-Word, then I'm going to go full-on L-Word and P-Word on their ass and call for an Amazon boycott.

I mean, what's next from the retail giant? Assorted references to midgets working in "manholes" while hobos and stewardesses opposed to gay marriage mill about on the street? Someone needs a language correction. And I'm just the sort of PC-purveyor to provide it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2300492/Amazon-defends-using-c-word-lighthearted-offensive.html

Good (Friday) Grief! Google Reportedly Pressures Sweden Into Not Adopting "Ungoogleable" as a New Word This Week: As If There Aren't MANY Topics That Are Ungoogleable!

"Ungoogleable," BTW, means a topic, inquiry or question for which you won't get any meaningful response hits through a Google search. Sure, you'll get crap, but not anything directly responsive or on point.

Let's leave aside the fact that if you tell me not to use a word, then I'm sure to use it. Regardless of that, "ungoogleable" is a bona fide word completely on its own merits...

In just a few minutes, I can think of a whole host of ungoogleable topics (set forth in no particular order below). Google shouldn't take offense to this, but rather just acknowledge that certain contentions, propositions and talking points simply have nothing out there backing them up that's based in reality.  To wit:

• Documented anecdotes of the democrat party and gop-er party acting the best interests of the American people.


• The real name of the fool who does The Independent Rage blog.


• Compelling reasons why the predictable yet psychotic one-eyed "Governor" dude (pictured at the top) is still walking amongst the living on AMC's "The Walking Dead."


• Sports book advice to lay down a bet on a Kansas City or University of Missouri sports team to win any type of championship in the next several centuries.


• A new leftist environmentalist push to conserve clean water usage by moving back to outdoor shithouses.


• Concrete evidence that Gerald Butler and Matthew McConaughey really aren't the same person.


• A persuasive case why I should read hundreds of Tweets per day when the noteworthy ones are covered immediately on the news websites.


• White Castle, Whataburger and/or Cheese Bosco locations in Kansas City.


• A truthful appraisal of how a $16.5 trillion national debt really ain't "that big of a deal."


• And, Finally:  Confirmed testimonials as to actual, real-world talents possessed by the Kardashian sisters.

Ungoogleable, indeed. Chill out already, Google. (And for God Sakes, Sweden -- Stick Up for Your Damn Selves!).

http://www.thelocal.se/46940/20130326/

No Bum Control: Jim Carrey Threatens to Release New Song for "U Heartless Motherfuckers Unwilling to Bend for the Safety of Our Kids!" How 'Bout a Lovely Dance With That Charming Song?

My immediate reaction to Carrey's "gun control" blast this week was to suggest that Carrey really should stick to his day job.  However, it then occurred to me that I've never found him all that funny in said day stint to begin with. And I don't think much of anyone else does anymore, either.

So what to do next? Well never fear, Carrey: "Dancing With the Stars" ain't going nowhere anytime soon. 'Course, no cursing allowed.

http://twitchy.com/2013/03/24/jim-carreys-cold-dead-hand-hey-heres-a-song-for-heartless-motherfckers-unwilling-to-bend-for-the-safety-of-our-kids/

"I'm Sittin' in a Railway Station," Waitin' on a Real Vacation, Late Last Week Across the Pond. Not Much to Do in Those Joints Except Write...

Cork Station (Rose Thighed Lady)

The pink girl has roses on her thighs.
The wheel girl has despair in her eyes.

The dyed hairs all have it upstairs.
The sad ones are a part of their chairs.

The top girl goes by way too fast.
The blonde girl politely shakes her ass.

Seeing people have dogs for their guide.
The fat guy just needs a ride.

The tights girl is very thin up top.
The hot girl looks at me to stop.

The old guy goes outside for a smoke.
The old girl wears fur for a joke.

The young girls wear Chucky Taylor shoes.
The ticket screen had only bad news.

The cute girl had a Papa Smurf charm.
But most of them are not so warm.

Now things just roll on out.
Like last days just a' coming about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsTNxVtS4c8

British Jackass Reporter: "Gun Control Debate Rages in Colorado, a Purple State That's Half Conservative & Half Liberal." 50-50 Leftists & Right-Wingers, Uh? Stick to What You Know, Redcoats...

So I'm over in Ireland this week, see -- and I'm watching this (S)Limey news show, since there's little over here to watch because the TV channels tend to stink worse than a Superfund cleanup effort at an Alabama shithouse. And this Brit buffoon news reporter spouts the above-quoted bullshit definition of an American "purple state"...

Leaving aside why the Limeys or an Irish audience here would even give a rat's ass about American gun policy (you gots nothing to worry about in your own borders?), let me take a moment to explain to the Europeans what a damn "purple state" is in America:

"Purple state" means there are about the same number of blinded, group-thinking freaks in the state who call themselves members of the leftist democrat party and members the right-winger gop-er party. But there's absolutely no correlation between that and the entire population being "50-50" democrat party and gop-er...

Because you see, Europe, we have a little something here in "the States" known as the Independents, and we comprise about a third or more of the people. And in a "purple state," to set you straight, that typically means about 1/3 democrat party, 1/3 gop-er party, and 1/3 damn pesky Independents.

I mean, DAMN! I don't go around talking about Brit political culture as it involves the right-winger "tories" and leftist "labour" partisans -- since, you know, I know nothing about it, I don't live there, and I don't care!

How bouts giving us the same respect, Brits? If you don't know, keep your damn tea holes shut! I swear, hearing that shit this week almost had me tossing a shoe at my little tiny European hotel TV like I was my old man watching a Reagan speech circa 1982 or something. Do not upset me like that!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2294737/Jennifer-Nicole-Lee-wears-Union-Jack-bikini-matching-stilettos-suns-Hollywood.html

Postscript: There was nothing overly compelling to illustrate this post, so I just went with a hot broad sporting a Limey bikini -- in the form of new pics from American model and actress Jennifer Nicole Lee when she was recently spotted "strutting around a pool in LA" (link above). Gots to have some art, no?

Many Missouri Tiger Basketball Fans Don't Care Much for MU Being Sent to Kentucky to Play Louisville in 2nd Round of NCAA Tourney: What Are Ya Crazy, MU Fan -- The First Round'll Probably Gonna Kill Ya!

Just what in the hell has MU Fan seen this year to lead him to believe that MU is more likely than not to defeat the Colorado State team led by that crazy Natty Light-chuggin', Man-Boob sportin', Agent Mulder lookalike freak Larry Eustachy?

This very talented MU team has underperformed all season and has exhibited all the mental toughness of a Frank Haith strip joint appearance (see unbeaten at home, nearly winningless on the road, and mediocre at best at neutral sites).

Sorry, but unlike Haith and all his players, I'm a Missourian.  Show Me something (anything) before I extend to you an ounce of confidence, props, or respect, MU basketball team.  So funny like that, me.

http://www.tigerboard.com/boards/missouri-tigers.php?message=10590763

Playing with Fire: Far Leftist HBO Guy Bill Maher Has Audacity to Complain About Stifling Federal & State Income Tax Rates in Joints Like Cali -- What Is This Fool Thinking!?!

Maher's running a huge risk of alienating his entire so-called audience, i.e. the leftist 20 percenter base of the democrat party. And in the process, he's exhibiting a complete and surprising ignorance of some the basic principles for which his people are all about...

To wit: To be a leftist is to fixate -- obsessively and incessantly -- on which leftist policy can be foisted upon the populace today while still getting away with it now and leaving more for tomorrow.  Never mind if the now is only a drop in the bucket towards what the leftists really want to accomplish eventually...

Leftists live in the moment, and never let a deranged tragedy or good crisis go to waste.  In their world view, the best thing is always to foist what they can right now, and reserve further foisting until the future.  The ends always justify the means for these people. (Most of these same words apply equally to the right-wingers; but shit, what power do those creeps even have anymore?)...

Leftists are like that big bald fat fuck white slimeball business manager on the classic "Twilight Zone" episode named "A Stop at Willoughby":  Push, Push, Push, Push, Push is the name of their game, since it's a "push, push, push business" and "world," according to them.  Meaning to push as far as you can right now, with more to follow later when a political opportunity presents itself.

That goes for taxes:  Push them as high as can be foisted now, and then revisit pushing them even higher later.  It goes for bigger government:  Foist it just as big as can be accomplished now, and then we'll push, push, push it even bigger later on.

Which brings me to Maher:  What part of these basic tenets of leftist 20 percenter doctrine does this radical leftist freak not understand?!?  Never question how high tax rates might get or how huge the government is getting, Maher!  What are ya, over there, a racist right-winger or something?

Which is exactly what his audience is going to start saying if Maher doesn't watch it.  And BTW, how demented have things become when I, The Rager understand these leftists better than they understand themselves, and I, The Rager have to explain to these leftists how they're supposed to act?!?  Talk about some damn sick shit over here.

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2013/03/16/bill-maher-california-income-taxes-liberals-you-could-actually-lose-m#ixzz2NiYzskrX

Postscript:  I knew I could find a second to do a blog post or two even while out of the country and working hard in the Ireland this week.  It's just in my green blood after four years, I guess.

Mississippi Tells Leftist NYC Mayor Bloomberg to G-F-Y, Passing "Anti-Bloomberg" Bill This Week! But Which Place Would YOU Want to Live?

Mississippi's "anti-Bloomberg" bill will reportedly "ban local limits on [restaurant] portion sizes and on requirements to post calorie counts."  Sounds to me like little more than political grandstanding, since you can't tell me there's a bunch of localities in ol' Dixie just clamoring to institute a gaggle of far leftist, Bloomberg-inspired, nanny-state food and lifestyle rules!...

But regardless, this story (link below) got me thinking: Which place would I (and would you) rather live? In Bloomberg's twisted land of Big Brother and huge-government control of the mundane details of our everyday lives? Or in the land of racists, rednecks and smelly shithouses?

I say you can keep 'em both. I think I'll stay right here in eastern Kansas. I've yet to see a single outdoor shitter over here, nor have I witnessed any more bigots or racists here than most any other place in the country (those louts tend to exist everywhere).

And our state government here largely stays out of our diets, personal habits, and paychecks. The only bad thing around here are those damn blasted jayhawkers (a real Debbie Downer, I must say), although even this Missourian has learned to coexist.  

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/passes-anti-bloomberg-bill-bans-limits-portions-posting-calorie-counts-article-1.1286804

She Made a Habit of It: "Ohio Nun Charged with Voter Fraud" for Voting Twice in 2012, Faces 18 Months in the Hoosegow. We Could Use this Twisted Sister Over in Rome This Week!

Cops in Ohio say 54-year-old Sister Marguerite Kloos has already agreed to plead guilty to the voter fraud charge, while also already resigning her reported Deanship at the College of Mount St. Joseph's (this dame actually makes Dean Wormer look like a damn Saint!). 

So Mother Superior's gots some free time on here not-so-devine, fast little votin' hands...

And I say let's get her all gussied up in one of those crazy Cardinal costumes (see above) and get her unholy voter fraud ass over to the Vatican! And I mean Pronto, Prioress...

If we can line up just a handful of ballot-stuffin' broads like this one, the election of Jeremy Irons as our next Pope is already in the bag, baby!  Just make sure to vote early and often, sick sister.



http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20130311/NEWS0107/303110080/Nun-2-others-face-vote-fraud-charges?gcheck=1&nclick_check=1
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/11/cardinal-fashion-show-vatican-wear-photos_n_2852944.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Cardinals Set to Begin Papal Conclave This Week "Amid Scandal": Why Not Make Things Easy & Just Elect Jeremy Irons the Next Pope?

He already has multiple years experience sitting on the papal throne as Pope Alexander VI (formerly known as Spanish Cardinal Rodrigo Borgia), and I think he'd be a great choice.  Besides, Irons' prior accomplishments as Pontiff-in-chief have been myriad, meritorious and marveling, including (as historically and very accurately portrayed on the Showtime series, "The Borgias"):

• Irons was instrumental early on in his Papacy in expanding the College of Cardinals, which increased opportunities for priests everywhere.  (OK, he also stacked the expanded College with Cardinals friendly to him  -- a rather shrewd move, truth be told, that would be akin to Obama unilaterally adding two new Justice positions to the U.S. Supreme Court in order to obtain a leftist majority).


• Irons betrothed his hot daughter Lucrezia to an old ugly brute of a man named Giovanni Sforza and forbade his old lady (Lucrezia's mother) from attending the wedding of her daughter. Meantime, through the Sforza alliance, Irons stuck even more valuable political influence in his back pocket. Smooth.


• Irons took on several young hottie broads as mistresses (including, on occasion, more than one on the same evening and at the same time) since all work and no play always makes Popey a dull boy, after all.


• Irons fended off the sacking of Rome by the short, smelly and grotesque French King Charles by bribing His Majesty with the crown of plague-torn Naples. (The cunning negotiator Irons could sell the Brooklyn Bridge to Donald Trump if he had a mind).


• Next, when the angry and plague-ridden Charles returned from Naples to sack Rome for good this time, Irons cleverly used a bunch of phoney, life-like looking cannons to fool and scare away the diminuitive, stinky Frenchman once and for all.  And to show his appreciation, Irons gave a little tour of the Papal Bedroom to the young female who designed the fakes. Such gratitude.


• As pictured above, Irons became perhaps the first great Nicotine Fiend of Rome, as in Season 2 he took to smoking big cigars (received from the New World sans a Cadillac car) right there in the damn Vatican while holding court and granting audiences!


• Finally, after a rogue priest incited young punks in Florence to engage in the Bonfire of the Vanities, Irons promptly had said priest burned to death at the stake in front of a frothing crowd in Rome. That'll teach 'em to mess around with our little luxuries and electronic devices!

So why drag this out, Cardinals? Keep it short. Keep it sweet. And please do the right thing by restoring Jeremy Irons to his Papal pulpit. He looks good in a white beanie, and he's never so much as even whiffed the Hitler Youth.

http://wtop.com/220/3244222/Vatican-conclave-likely-to-start-early-next-week
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20130304/DA4Q9A201.html

Right-Winger Rand Paul Filibusters for 13 Damn Hours on the Senate Floor This Week! Now THAT's Impressive (For NON-Political Reasons)...

Paul's performance filibustered Obama's nomination of John Brennan for CIA director (over Obama's position that drone strikes can be used domestically on U.S. citizens in extraordinary circumstances), but neither that political minutiae nor Paul's typical brand of far right-winger, tea party "libertarian" politics is really the point here...

Instead this observation:  I've given a fair number of presentations and speech-like appearances in my time, but I think the longest one ever I've ever done (at least solo) clocked in around an hour and a half.  And it was damn hard talking even that long without any respite!

Advice: If you ever have to do that, make sure to have at least a couple bottled waters on hand, lest you wish a repeat of Marco Rubio's recent drymouth debacle after the State of the Union.

And back to the point: Just look at this Rand Paul goof -- Thirteen freakin' hours! I may never credit Paul for much of anything ever again, but my hat's off to that shit. To quote Butch Cassidy: I couldn't do that -- could you do that?!?

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-250_162-57572975/rand-paul-ends-filibuster-against-cia-director-nominee-after-almost-13-hours/

Slimeball Leftist Dictator Hugo Chavez Dead: Sean Penn, Danny Glover, Oliver Stone & Others Lose a Good Buddy...

"I mourn a great hero," film director Oliver Stone lamented over the fallen authoritarian dictator.  "I lost a friend I was blessed to have," cried Sean Penn for good measure.

But sorry leftists, for as usual, I have a different take:  Good riddance. The world is a much better place with sleazebuckets like Chavez living in Gonersville.

But maybe I'm just sort of weird like that -- all prejudiced and shit against "benevolent" dictators worth $2 billion bullying around their own people, opposing viewpoints, and the media. So un-progressive, me.  (BTW: Someone didn't pay his fair share!)

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/hugo-chavez-dead-sean-penn-426205

Report: "Men Prefer Rihanna's Taut Tummy" to Kelly Brooks' Curvy Body. Say What? Who Are These Men, and Have They Been Hauled to the Hoosegow Yet for Tokin' on La Paca Lolo!?!

Nothing wrong with Rihanna, mind you. She and her six pack (immediately above) are certainly hot. But just take a gander above at Kelly Brook's freakin' two pack!

Give me the Rack over the Six Pack any day of the week. You have seen my Ladies Panel, no?  And I do wish the UK Daily Mail would stop purporting to speak for "men" everywhere. After all, they broke the damn mold on some of us out here. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2285945/All-abs-Women-want-David-Beckham-pack-boys-men-prefer-Rihannas-taut-tummy-Kelly-Brooks-curvy-bottom.html

HOW DARE YOU! democrat party Members Object to Display of the National Debt Clock at Congressional Hearing This Week!

Much like a morbidly obese individual or a vampire broad on "True Blood,"  leftist 20 percenter democrat party loons like the pictured Maxine Waters apparently really hate looking in the mirror (Waters also being the braintrust who actually claimed this week that "sequester" would kill 170 million American jobs!).  So whatever ya do, don't show the leftists that damn pesky National Debt Clock! (Link to story below).

After all, they, along with the two worst presidents of my lifetime (Obama  and W Bush) and an often complicit gop-er party over the past 13 years, are directly responsible for the unforgivable and ever-growing $16.5 trillion national debt from which we are unlikely to ever fully escape.

But hey, if I was responsible for threatening the very well-being of myriad future generations of Americans, I probably wouldn't want to be reminded of that fact either.  Maybe Obama can just furlough away the Debt Clock in the "sequester"?

http://dailycaller.com/2013/02/26/democrats-complain-about-presence-of-debt-clock-on-capitol-hill/#ixzz2M3fq0vz3