Watch Out Ya Don't Sleep with the Fishes: Maniacal Florida Man Allegedly Terrorizes Neighbors with Fish and Chainsaw...

He's as scary as Luca Brasi (allegedly) and perhaps more intelligent than Leatherface (or maybe not). But one difference: Get too close to this crazy man and it may be you who sleeps with the fishes.

He's 52-year-old Dale McDaniel (pictured at top and on right) of Pasco County, Florida. And neighbors say this madman has wrought a reign of terror from one end of the neighborhood to the other.

One of this demented oddball's favorite pastimes, for example, is to chase neighbors down the block with a chainsaw (allegedly) -- in a scene that must be eerily reminiscent of the ending to Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

This lunatic is also alleged to have attacked a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic neighbor with a damn fish. The disabled neighbor says the maniac McDaniel took to slapping him right across the mush with the big dead fish.

One female neighbor accuses this psychopath of trying to choke her out. Says the woman: "He's a scary person, especially when he gets violent . . . That's not something you forget." Neighbors also say "they feel [McDaniel] has a drinking problem," although I personally find that very difficult to believe.

Neighbors say that when this brute isn't wielding chainsaws or swinging fish around, he likes to hang out in his "overgrown, trash-filled yard" -- urinating therein and shouting obscenities at those who dare to walk past the joint.

McDaniel has been arrested at least 34 times but somehow always manages to find his way home. Some neighbors are trying to get restraining orders slapped on his deranged old ass.

For his part, McDaniel points a finger of blame at the neighbors: "They've had problems with me for years and I ain't worried about it," spouted this creepy nutjob.

He also claims he's just been misunderstood: "I'm not a menace. They just don't know how to deal with me," he said. Isn't that what they always say about pit bulls right before their next kill?

http://newportrichey.wtsp.com/news/weird/76154-quadriplegic-says-violent-neighbor-assaulted-him-fish

The Terrible Economy Continues to Hit Criminals Hard, Apparently Forcing a Man to Knock Over a Gas Station in an Underwear Mask!

First we had the man last week allegedly pulling a convenience store heist with a giant tree branch, and now the terrible economic news this week has apparently made things even worse for your garden-variety common street hood. Cops in Dallas say a "cross-dressing man" took off his own underwear and tried to use it as a disguise as he pulled his own gas station job earlier this week.

This "briefs bandit" is still on the loose. And his pathetic, low-budget act didn't stop with him wearing his unmentionables over his noggin. The surveillance video also shows the man sporting a "floral-print mini dress" during this piece of work at the "On the Run" Exxon Tigermart gas station.

Not only that, but the man apparently couldn't even muster up so much as a tree branch as a weapon for his little cash-strapped caper. Instead, it appears he may have had no weapon at all, rather sticking his paw under his mini dress and acting like he had something more down there than just his lovegun.

Specifically, the man "stormed inside with his hand wrapped in part of the dress" and then acted like he was aiming a weapon at the cashier, who turned over the loot. The clerk told cops it was apparent the man wasn't wearing any drawers underneath, confirming that he had been forced to use the briefs off his own package as his disguise.

With the joint's cash in hand, the video shows the briefs bandit slowly backing his way out of the store. Just for good measure, he robbed a customer waiting on line on his way out the door.

Local businesses have vowed to help out the cops however they can, apparently promising to "keep a close eye out" for any patrons wearing linens over their melons. "It's definitely something that is a little bit odd," said a worker at a nearby gas station.

But I'm left to ponder what sort of oddity we might see next from these economically stretched criminals. A kiddie gator as a getaway ride? An old holey sock to hold the cash? A demand note carved into a piece of tree bark? In sum, you know times are real tough when even pulling off a decent stickup job ain't economically viable anymore.

http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/weird/127981978.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2027651/Briefs-bandit-Underwear-masked-man-robs-store-floral-print-mini-dress.html

What's a University of Missouri? Never Heard of It. Is That the One in Jersey?

Says Mike Berandino this week in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel: "Missouri must be very proud at having lured away a man [head basketball coach Frank Haith] who managed just one trip to the NCAA Tournament in seven seasons [at Miami] despite allegedly accepting donations from a sleazeball like [incarcerated Miami booster] Nevin Shapiro."

But getting back to my question at the top: Missouri? Whatdaya mean I used to go to games there and donate money? Whatchya talkin' 'bout, Willis? I'm tellin' ya, I ain't never heard of the joint. I don't know nothin', I just work here. I don't see nothin'; I don't give nothin'. (Not anymore, leastways.)

http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2011-08-17/sports/fl-berardino-miami-yahoo-allegations-20110817_1_frank-haith-miami-basketball-coach-kirby-hocutt

Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves: Band of Gypsies, Apparently Tired of Being Hobos, Squats in Home & Turns It Into a Skid Row Flophouse!

I guess there really still do exist "bands of gypsies" apart from Wolfman movies, since one particularly grubby such band reportedly took over a woman's house recently and tore it to shreds in London. But to their credit, the gypsies did seem quite courteous to the homeowner once she discovered them. And this'll teach that woman to leave her house unattended for the weekend!

55-year-old Julia High (pictured immediately above) was reportedly just looking to get away for a few days, likely given her stressful occupation as an immigration border agent. But she may want to consider staying at home 365 days a year from now on given that -- in the space of merely a couple of days -- a pack of eight "Romanian gypsies" (also pictured above) took to squatting in her home and rearranging its interior until it was virtually unrecognizable!

The well-kept appearance of the home's inside apparently didn't sit too well with these gypsies, whom I can only guess are used to a certain degree of volatility and disorder in their digs. Exhibit 1: Julia says these bums in a few short days completely ransacked the joint, leaving a trail of rubbish behind them from the parlor all the way to the shithouse.

But these tramps reportedly had no ideological problems with Julia's wardrobe or ice box, raiding both in order to parade around in Julia's clothes and to snarf down all of her eats and booze. However, these tinkers apparently wanted no part of Julia's other possessions, as they gathered those up in trash bags, which they piled up out on the porch and in the backyard.

And these gypies really didn't care for Julia's carpeting scheme, apparently, since they "ripped up" all of the home's carpets and chucked them out in the backyard garden. Ready for the next season of "Extreme Home Makeover," these gypies!

These moochers also allegedly swiped the few items in the home that might have some quick resale value (the computer and digital cameras). Just for good measure, they also reportedly caused a fair amount of water damage in the kitchen and bathroom. (What, ya didn't expect them to shower and shave during their stay?) In short: "Only [Julia's] beds and wardrobes were left intact."

Julia returned home at the end of her weekend to find the vagabond family sipping her wine while dressed in her clothes. The gypies, however, were gracious enough to "offer her a glass of her own wine." But the vagrants were adamant, at the same time, that they -- and not Julia -- were the rightful occupants of the home.

In one of the better squatter occupancy justifications likely ever dreamed up, these hobos told the returning Julia that she was "dead" and that her son had rented the place to them upon her passing. Seemingly rejecting Julia's claim to the contrary that she was, you know, alive, the gypsies next produced a fake set of rental documents which they claimed the son had signed.

Only problem? Julia has no son. Busted! Damn pesky family trees. So Julia was able to get the cops to toss this gaggle of gypsies out on their bindlesticks. Now Julia has to stay with friends while her trashed home is repaired -- a process she believes may take weeks and weeks.

As for this gypsy bunch -- never fear. Because being gypsies, I imagine this group can take of themselves only too well. Case in point: No sooner had Julia sent them packing than they had already reportedly taken up squattin' in another home a few blocks away. I just hope that homeowner has a lot better tastes in carpeting.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026723/Gypsies-immigration-officers-home-Proms.html

He Had a "Need to Feed": Teenage Dracula Allegedly Runs Amok in Rick Perry's Texas. Best Load Them Silver Bullets!

The rotten economic times in Obama's America have now apparently gotten so bad that they've come home to roost in Texas -- the state with the seemingly recession-proof economy for which deranged right-winger republic partisan presidential candidate Rick Perry is trying to take exclusive credit. I say that because Obama-flation's impact on food prices reportedly has 'em looking to feast on blood down in the land of shit-kickers, fake boobs and annoying drawls. Y'all know what I mean?!?

Cops in Galveston, Texas say it all started peacefully Saturday night for one tuckered-out local woman as she hit the hay for her nightly slumber. But that's when Count Dracula flew into the picture (allegedly). All hell broke loose from there.

19-year-old Lyle Monroe Bensley first allegedly kicked down the door on the broad's ocean-front apartment. Cops say Bensley was buck naked save some boxer shorts. So where did this hungry hoodless hoodlum (allegedly) head first? The kitchen? The ice box? The lazy susan?

Nope. None of those things. Instead, cops say he made a beeline straight for the woman's bedroom to try to get his grub on. As he slithered his way into the bedroom, the woman says Bensley was "growling and hissing" up a storm. She says he immediately clocked her one right in the kisser and then tried to take a big bite out of her neck!

Bensley next allegedly drug the woman into a hallway before she was able to escape the ghoul's grasp. The woman reportedly scurried into a car outside and tried to speed away -- with Bensley allegedly beating the car and chasing after it all the while. (No word whether he ever turned into a bat to help in his efforts to give chase).

Cops say they were alerted to this whole sick scene when they heard "shrieking and growling" emanating from the parking lot. "I need to feed!", Bensley reportedly told cops. As a result, one cop said, Bensley "was begging us to restrain him because he didn't want to kill us."

Cops obliged by slapping the ol' cuffs on the famished fiend. (I hope they at least had the compassion to offer him a doughnut).

When cops questioned Bensley concerning his rather oddball remarks, Bensley reportedly told them: "I'm a vampire and I've been alive for over 500 years."

So Bensley was just some drugged-out punk, you might think? No Siree Bob. Cops say there was no indication that he was under the influence of any drugs or alcohol. So I think we need to very seriously consider the possibility that Bensley may, in fact, be a vampire.

But blood-sucker or no, he can't escape the long arm of the law. And he may have to stalk his next blood-letting in the Big House, as cops have busted him on charges of burglary with intent to commit assault. I wonder if he'll slap the hoosegow with one of those prisoner mistreatment lawsuits when he finds only bread and water in the mess hall?

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/texas-man-bites-woman-claims-vampire/story?id=14315864
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026630/Vampire-breaks-Lyle-Monroe-Bensleys-bedroom-Galveston-tries-bite-her.html

"Good-looking Candidates Get More Votes," New Study Says. But I Call Bunk...

It may be the Massachusetts Institute of Technology ("MIT"), but methinks they should stick to rocket science. Pointing to such political pieces of tail as Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann -- not to mention well-hairlined candidates like "MIT(T)" Romney (go figure) -- the new MIT study suggests that good-looking candidates simply get more votes from an adoring public than do cretin candidates.

But simply applying common sense and a few real-life, big-ticket examples quickly debunks the findings of this story. Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann -- despite America's clamoring to see their hot asses in a mud catfight -- are both unelectable in a general election race for president. That's the way it tends to go for screeching, loud-mouthed, deranged right-wingers, no matter how good they look. Neither is likely to ever even win her own party's nomination.

And that brings us to Hillary Clinton. Pippa Middleton or Jenna Jameson, she's not. But she was this close to wrestling the democrat party nomination from Barack Obama in 2008, and from there would have easily defeated tired old man McCain to become to first woman president.

Also, if she chose to do so, I believe she'd kick Obama's hapless ass back to Halstead Street in a 2012 democrat party primary challenge. And while she'd might not be able to beat them in a catfight (and certainly not in a beauty pageant), Hillary would destroy Palin or Bachmann in a general election. So I call bunk, MIT. Stay with genetics and robotics next time, boys.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026224/Good-looking-candidates-like-Michele-Bachmann-votes-study-shows.html

Obama Monday Blames the Rotten Economy on His Own "Bad Luck"...

The buck stops with you, Mr. President. How about if you act like it for the first time in your presidency?


http://campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com/blogs/beltway-confidential/obama-i-reversed-recession-until-bad-luck-hit

A Real Shocker: White House Has "Concluded That the Best Thing Mr. Obama Can Do For the Economy May Be Winning a Second Term."

Such a wise and profound "conclusion." Only problem: The latest Gallup polling data suggests that only about 39% of the country agrees with it. So I have an alternate suggestion for "Mr. Obama": Retire. Just go away. And take your leftist 20 percenter party, as well as the republic partisan party, with you.

Course, you won't be doing any of those things. But have no fear. The Independents (the people who control your election outcomes) will be retiring plenty of you on both sides in the 2012 elections. Consider it our little gift to the wonderful, esteemed politicians of the republic partisan and democrat parties. I can hardly wait to watch.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/us/politics/14econ.html?_r=2&hp
http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-pn-obama-approval-20110814,0,2481281.story

I'M A MAN! I FIRE LABORERS FOR WEARING THE WRONG DAMN T-SHIRT! (Allegedly)

Look at that goof. He's Oklahoma State head football coach Mike Gundy. Up until now, about the only thing he's been known for is once completely blowing a gasket and ranting and raving at the media like a madman about how "I'M A MAN! I'M 40!" (Video at bottom).

But now this hollerin' hothead has reportedly embarrassed himself even worse -- allegedly strong-arming and giving a home laborer his walking papers because the dude had the unmitigated gall to wear an Oklahoma Sooners T-shirt (his school's rival) on the job!

Brent Loveland of Choctaw, Oklahoma was reportedly just going about his business after being hired to do some carpentry work at Gundy's home. Dude wasn't even wearing an Oklahoma Sooners football shirt, but rather a Sooners baseball tee. But that didn't stop Gundy from going Solomon Grundy-style deranged all over the poor laborer's ass! (Allegedly).

Loveland has slapped Gundy's big fat mush (and Ross Perot-type accent & temper) with a new lawsuit alleging that because Loveland wore a Sooners tee on the job, Gundy cursed at him and called him a "stupid idiot" for "wearing the shirt on 'OSU soil.' " Gundy also allegedly refused Loveland's attempts to apologize and gave the confused carpenter his pink slip right there on the spot!

Gundy's alleged meltdown could turn out to be a costly one, since Loveland is seeking $10,000 in damages. He says he lost "more than $30,000 in income from an expected 13 weeks of work."

OK, I get the whole sports rivalry thing. I'm a Missouri guy, and Missouri has one of the most bitter rivalries in the country when it comes to the University of Kansas jayhawkers. But please! With everything rotten going on the country and world right now, fans and coaches like Gundy (allegedly) are still going to resort to this kind of mindless, over-the-top sports-team think and vicarious living through athletes and schools?

Hell, I have a Kansas grad living next door to me and a Kansas State grad across the street. The next time I see them wearing some of their garb, maybe I should go "Solomon" Gundy and just clock 'em one right in the kisser, no?

At the very least, I could give them a good dressing down and try to humiliate them for having the nerve to wear the wrong shirt so close to "MU soil"? Positively laughable, juvenile, and demented.

And kids: It is a good thing to become a man by the time you're 40. A lot of people never manage that. But if that means being a "man" like "Solomon" Gundy, methinks you should endeavor to find a new and different pursuit.

http://www.kansascity.com/2011/08/12/3073976/the-buzz-cowpokes-gundy-sued.html

Worst Defense Ever? Boss Says: There's No Way Anyone Here Sexually Harassed Her, Because "She's Too Ugly" to be Harassed!

Now this was the workplace from hell (allegedly). 23-year-old Priscilla Agosto of New York (pictured above and on right) has filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against employer "People's Choice Realty," claiming that she "was groped, slapped, flashed, fondled and subject to racial abuse and death threats." (Is that all? Not like anyone actually tried to kill her!)

Apparently this Brooklyn joint thinks it has an airtight defense. The owner denies all charges of sexual harassment, saying that Agosto is "too ugly" and "no one would touch her." There you have it! Jackass.

Agosto reportedly hung on for 14 months of this tortuously hostile work environment (allegedly) before finally quitting. Which just goes to show: Jobs are so hard to come by in this absolutely rotten economy that people will actually endure hellish jobs out of fear they won't be able to find anything else.

Why else, after all, would any person endure 14 months of these things (my guess as to this braintrust employer's likely defense follows each item):

-Agosto says seven different male employees "made lewd advances at her even after she complained to the bosses." [Defense: Hey, they cut it out after she complained.]

-She says one male employee offered her 60 bucks for an Oral Roberts, telling her that "all Puerto Rican girls are good at it." [Defense: That employee never carries that kind of money around, and Puerto Rican girls ARE good at it!]

-Agosto alleges he also "groped" her and "stole a kiss" from her and would also ask Agosto (who happens to be a lesbian) to kiss pictures of naked women. [Defense: The women were not "naked," they were merely topless.]

-Just for good measure, Agosto says the same individual once "walked in while she was cleaning the bathroom, exposed himself and urinated in front of her." [Defense: When you gotta go, you gotta go!]

-Another employee allegedly demanded that Agosto "join him in a threesome." [Defense: He just wanted her to accompany him and his girlfriend to the Mets game.]

-Another employee allegedly offered Agosto $500 if he could watch her and her girlfriend having sex. [Defense: If you think Agosto's ugly, you should see the girlfriend. No one would pay to see that!]

-Agosto says another employee told her he would "get rid" of any employee who threatened the realty company, adding that "I don't have a problem killing anyone." [Defense: He didn't mean "kill" in the literal sense. It's like when the Obama campaign says it intends to "kill Romney."]

-She says the final straw came when another employee slapped her right across the face and "when she went crying" to management, the boss "waved her away." [Defense: I was on an important conference call at the time and, besides, I thought the only reason she was crying was because she'd just glanced in the mirror.]

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/explosive_sex_harass_suit_alleges_ICryjLHP8uZgu1hxrj97jN
http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2011/08/11/2011-08-11_woman_sues_for_sexual_harassment_at_peoples_choice_reality_their_response_shes_t.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2025111/Shes-ugly-touch-Real-estate-firm-denies-employees-sexual-harassment-claim.html

Is the democrat party Bankrolled by a Woman Beater? Emperor Palpatine Accused of Slapping Around and Trying to Choke Out His Young Girlfriend...

Just take a gander at that dirty old man. He's 80-year-old George Soros -- one of the world's richest men and a principal financier of the American democrat party and its various nefarious tenacles. He's recently been accused of profiting handsomely (and purposefully) from the U.S. credit downgrade, but it's alleged sliminess of a much different sort that also has him in the news late this week.

The grubby old codger's young girlfriend -- 52 years his junior -- has hit back at her decrepit Sugar Daddy by slapping his wrinkly old ass with a huge lawsuit that alleges that after she went to bed with him, Daddy slapped her around, clocked her one right in the kisser, tossed a lamp at her, and finally took his hands and tried to choke out the Brazilian soap opera star faster than Royce Gracie on a chicken. And all right there in the bed (allegedly)!

The 28-year-old actress, Adriana Ferreyr (pictured above and below with Soros), says the whole frightful incident went down when the old coot welched on a promise to give her a Manhattan apartment. (Doesn't this broken down old fossil realize that if you're going to go Sugar Daddy, you gots to buck up! There is no other possible reason why this young broad would be banging you, Gramps!)

Adriana says that following a breakup in their relationship, her ossified old benefactor was able to get her back in the sack for a "passionate night" of bone-crunching -- with the apartment promise still on the table. However, she says the antique old battle axe let it slip that night "with a whisper" that he'd instead promised to joint to another woman. Needless to say, Adriana "reacted badly to the news" and all hell broke loose from there.

After the archaic dutch oven got through using his young girlfriend as a UFC sparring partner (allegedly), Adriana says the old brute took to doing some further whispering -- i.e. sweet nothings in her ear promising another apartment to her. But alas, pappy wasn't happy with that arrangement either, she says, because he later took back that promise too -- just like a storyline from Adriana's soap opera, "Marisol."

The lawsuit filed by Adriana in a New York court this week seeks 50 million bucks from the decayed octogenarian. The only reason this grizzled geezer isn't facing any time in the hoosegow, apparently, is because Adriana refused to press criminal charges (although she did file a timely police report). And don't worry, leftist 20 percenters:

This antiquated old creep is still worth almost $15 billion. So even if this dame recovers the full amount of her lawsuit (which won't happen; these things always settle out), the democrat party's own Sugar Daddy will still have plenty left in the kitty to affect secretary of state, congressional and presidential races until the day that Darth Vader finally tosses his moth-eaten old hide down the Death Star reactor shaft.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2024790/George-Soros-slapped-ex-lover-Adriana-Ferreyr-tried-choke-her.html

"Thanks For the Downgrade, You Should All Be FIRED!" Yeah -- What She Said!...

That was the banner that was flown high atop the Big Apple this week and right over Manhattan. It was paid for by -- of all people -- a middle American in flyover territory. Imagine that.

She's single mother and investment banker Lucy Nobbe (pictured above) of St. Louis, Missouri. The banner of course is in reference to S&P's downgrade Friday of the federal government's Triple-A credit rating down to AA+. Video of the banner soaring over New York City has gone viral on the Net this week.

Nobbe says that "she was so angry about the way lawmakers argued and bickered over the debt ceiling, that she couldn't get it out of her head and then woke up on Sunday night with the idea." She says she "couldn't believe this [downgrade] happened," which she chalks up to members of congress from both parties "acting silly and being irresponsible."

Nobbe also says she "is not the type of person to actively protest or even wave banners, but thought it would be a good example for her daughters," aged 11 and 15. Said 11-year-old daughter Holly: "She definitely stands up, she is different than other moms."

Flying the banner over Metropolis reportedly set Nobbe back a cool 900 bucks, although she says the "flysign" company gave her a little break on the cost because they were impressed with the idea. She also says her idea to was to fly the banner over Washington DC, but it had to be switched to NYC since planes can't fly over the illustrious capitol city (for obvious reasons).

Doing a bit of looking around today, it appears that this story was largely being ignored by the leftist "mainstream" media and the right-winger conservative Net "media" alike (kudos to ABC News, CNN and a small handful of others for being exceptions). But that's not surprising:

Those entities only exist to drive you towards one of the two parties, not to rebel against both parties like I and others (and apparently Nobbe) do. The partisans and ideologues on both sides don't care for that sort of sentiment at all. They want you to join a side and turn over all free thought to group-think. Sorry, though. I've never have been much of a joiner (nor a brain-wash-ee).

And Nobbe's banner, BTW, is spot on, as discussed in this space previously: Both parties were warned by S&P what it would take to prevent a downgrade, and both parties ignored the warning. Both parties are therefore equally to blame for the downgrade. Pretty simple stuff. As is the fact that America could use a bona fide Independent candidate for president in 2012 like never before.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/fired-mom-flies-banner-wall-st/story?id=14269109
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2024264/Plane-flies-S-Ps-New-York-office-banner-reading-Thanks-downgrade-fired.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Bonnie and Clydes? "Bank-Robbing Stripper" Allegedly Leads Gang of Two Brothers on Violent Bank Job and Multi-State Crime Spree...

...although apparently she was fully clothed when she and her gang knocked over that bank (allegedly).

Her name is Lee Grace Dougherty, and cops in Georgia say that when the this stripper isn't showing off her unadorned assets at a Florida strip club named "Cheaters," she allegedly has a different kind of teaser in mind:

Cops she's now hooked up with her two brothers to wreak havoc across two southern states. Talk about a moll with some ball(s). Just listen to what this 29-year-old apparent Bonnie Parker wannabe has to say on her Flickr page:

"Act like I'm 17 most of the time. I love to farm and shoot guys and wreck cars. I'm a redneck and proud of it. I like milk and German engineering and causing mayhem with my siblings."

Mayhem indeed, and this is not a gang that I'd be too anxious to run across, even if sissie was buck naked at the time. Cops say the gang hit a bank in Valdosta, Georgia last week, with subtlety and discreteness not exactly being their calling card.

In short, no nice little notes or polite requests for "all your money" here. Instead, the gang allegedly "stormed" the joint with "guns a' blazing" -- making mincemeat of the bank's ceiling and escaping with a bag of loot.

It probably doesn't help that this alleged strippin' bandita has a couple of apparent badasses for younger brothers. The youngest one is 21-year-old Ryan, a registered sex offender. Cops say the gang had to hack off Ryan's ankle surveillance bracelet before embarking upon their crime spree.

The other brother (26 years old) gives Dylans everywhere a bad name, having been previously busted for totin' & tokin' el paca lolo. But Sister Sprigger ain't exactly Mother Theresa herself over there, having been charged (among other things) for DUI and a "hit-and-run crash and battery" earlier this year and prior.

No word whether the stemmin' algorithm Lee Grace was also behind the wheel when the gang allegedly led the cops on a high speed car chase the day of the bank caper. That little hot pursuit reportedly ended with one of the Dougherty brood shooting out the tires of the pursuing squad car.

The gang is now on the lam (in the past few days possibly spotted in Tennessee and Colorado), with Georgia cops spouting the obligatory "we're a' lookin' fer 'em and close to catchin' 'em." I wonder if the gang will be dumb enough to try heading back to their one known hideout -- an underground "bunker" and "lair" that neighbors describe as a "den of illegal activity" down south.

Now, if you happen to spot this threesome, cops say to consider them "armed and dangerous" with a suspected "arsenal of weapons" that includes an AK-47. And if you really want to be cute, try asking Lee Grace back to her bunker for a private lap dance, a little German engineering, and a happy ending.

I bet the ending will be anything other than satisfying, but at least you'll suffer a large degree of pain knowing that you courageously busted the balls of the Great Cowgirl Moll of the South (allegedly)!

[8/10 p.m. UPDATE: The "Dougherty Gang" has now been caught & arrested tonight in Colorado following (what else) a wild police chase and crash. No serious injuries. The accounts I've read said there have been "media comparisons" to Bonnie and Clyde. That's funny, because I didn't see any such comparisons until I made one in this post early today. Copy cats...]

http://www.wtsp.com/news/article/204450/250/Georgia-bank-robbers-may-be-Zephyrhills-suspects
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2023997/Police-close-Dougherty-siblings-tip-off.html
http://www.wtsp.com/news/article/205141/8/Lee-Grace-Dougherty-who-is-woman-involved-in-sibling-crime-spree