Saturday, August 20, 2011
The Terrible Economy Continues to Hit Criminals Hard, Apparently Forcing a Man to Knock Over a Gas Station in an Underwear Mask!
First we had the man last week allegedly pulling a convenience store heist with a giant tree branch, and now the terrible economic news this week has apparently made things even worse for your garden-variety common street hood. Cops in Dallas say a "cross-dressing man" took off his own underwear and tried to use it as a disguise as he pulled his own gas station job earlier this week.
This "briefs bandit" is still on the loose. And his pathetic, low-budget act didn't stop with him wearing his unmentionables over his noggin. The surveillance video also shows the man sporting a "floral-print mini dress" during this piece of work at the "On the Run" Exxon Tigermart gas station.
Not only that, but the man apparently couldn't even muster up so much as a tree branch as a weapon for his little cash-strapped caper. Instead, it appears he may have had no weapon at all, rather sticking his paw under his mini dress and acting like he had something more down there than just his lovegun.
Specifically, the man "stormed inside with his hand wrapped in part of the dress" and then acted like he was aiming a weapon at the cashier, who turned over the loot. The clerk told cops it was apparent the man wasn't wearing any drawers underneath, confirming that he had been forced to use the briefs off his own package as his disguise.
With the joint's cash in hand, the video shows the briefs bandit slowly backing his way out of the store. Just for good measure, he robbed a customer waiting on line on his way out the door.
Local businesses have vowed to help out the cops however they can, apparently promising to "keep a close eye out" for any patrons wearing linens over their melons. "It's definitely something that is a little bit odd," said a worker at a nearby gas station.
But I'm left to ponder what sort of oddity we might see next from these economically stretched criminals. A kiddie gator as a getaway ride? An old holey sock to hold the cash? A demand note carved into a piece of tree bark? In sum, you know times are real tough when even pulling off a decent stickup job ain't economically viable anymore.