The rotten economic times in Obama's America have now apparently gotten so bad that they've come home to roost in Texas -- the state with the seemingly recession-proof economy for which deranged right-winger republic partisan presidential candidate Rick Perry is trying to take exclusive credit. I say that because Obama-flation's impact on food prices reportedly has 'em looking to feast on blood down in the land of shit-kickers, fake boobs and annoying drawls. Y'all know what I mean?!?
Cops in Galveston, Texas say it all started peacefully Saturday night for one tuckered-out local woman as she hit the hay for her nightly slumber. But that's when Count Dracula flew into the picture (allegedly). All hell broke loose from there.
19-year-old Lyle Monroe Bensley first allegedly kicked down the door on the broad's ocean-front apartment. Cops say Bensley was buck naked save some boxer shorts. So where did this hungry hoodless hoodlum (allegedly) head first? The kitchen? The ice box? The lazy susan?
Nope. None of those things. Instead, cops say he made a beeline straight for the woman's bedroom to try to get his grub on. As he slithered his way into the bedroom, the woman says Bensley was "growling and hissing" up a storm. She says he immediately clocked her one right in the kisser and then tried to take a big bite out of her neck!
Bensley next allegedly drug the woman into a hallway before she was able to escape the ghoul's grasp. The woman reportedly scurried into a car outside and tried to speed away -- with Bensley allegedly beating the car and chasing after it all the while. (No word whether he ever turned into a bat to help in his efforts to give chase).
Cops say they were alerted to this whole sick scene when they heard "shrieking and growling" emanating from the parking lot. "I need to feed!", Bensley reportedly told cops. As a result, one cop said, Bensley "was begging us to restrain him because he didn't want to kill us."
Cops obliged by slapping the ol' cuffs on the famished fiend. (I hope they at least had the compassion to offer him a doughnut).
When cops questioned Bensley concerning his rather oddball remarks, Bensley reportedly told them: "I'm a vampire and I've been alive for over 500 years."
So Bensley was just some drugged-out punk, you might think? No Siree Bob. Cops say there was no indication that he was under the influence of any drugs or alcohol. So I think we need to very seriously consider the possibility that Bensley may, in fact, be a vampire.
But blood-sucker or no, he can't escape the long arm of the law. And he may have to stalk his next blood-letting in the Big House, as cops have busted him on charges of burglary with intent to commit assault. I wonder if he'll slap the hoosegow with one of those prisoner mistreatment lawsuits when he finds only bread and water in the mess hall?
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/texas-man-bites-woman-claims-vampire/story?id=14315864
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026630/Vampire-breaks-Lyle-Monroe-Bensleys-bedroom-Galveston-tries-bite-her.html
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