2011 Shockers: Canadian Soothsayer Says New Year Will See Sarah Palin Divorced, Michelle Obama Knocked Up, Midget Born & Playboy Mansion Destroyed!

Before you laugh, please note that this same fortune teller (Nikki, pictured on left) last year predicted Tiger Woods' divorce and the Chilean mine disaster. Perhaps Nikki's leading prediction for 2011 foresees Splitsville for Sarah Palin and husband Todd. Man! And not even a year after Palin's (alleged) boob job? Well, she is high maintenance.

But to me the most fascinating of Nikki's prophecies sees Michelle Obama with a new bun in the oven -- or two, as Nikki says twins are more likely than a single child. Fascinating, I say, because of two of Nikki's other predictions and the fun it is to speculate as to whether those two predictions might somehow be connected to the Obama pregnancy prediction:

First, Nikki predicts that "there will be a big scandal involving a Washington politician—and cheating will be involved." Make no mistake, Michelle "Your Kids Are Too Fat" Obama ain't just some garden variety First Lady. She's been very much the politician during the entire Obama presidency, pushing 20-percenter policy and legislation at every turn.

Any given Nikki's prediction, is there any chance someone other than Barack could be Michelle's baby daddy? Barack likes to keep a close eye on political rival Hillary Clinton, but methinks he better instead keep a closer eye on notorious lady-lover Bill Clinton in 2011.

Second, Nikki foresees that a famous starlet will give birth to a midget. I think that Michelle, who frequently carries herself like the Queen of America, is very accurately described as a starlet. Good Grief -- talk about a big Trifecta of Trouble: Michelle giving birth to a couple of midgets with huge Bubba grins all over their faces! But somehow I just don't quite see that happening, do you?

After all, many of Nikki's predictions are simply outlandish or highly improbable. In addition to the Playboy mansion burning to the ground, another such prediction says that a "giant spider" and spider nest will be found in South America. "Chalk it up to global warming," spouts the linked story. Of course. What else? Other wild predictions from Nikki center upon such things as a 500-pound Salmon in Canada and a "horseshoe-shaped UFO" in New Mexico.

Also somewhat undermining Nikki's credibility is the fact that many of her predictions are completely obvious -- a huge "No $hit, Sherlock," you might say. For example, the aforementioned "prediction" about a Washington cheating scandal. Wow, don't go out there on such a limb, Nikki!

Other examples of "seeing" the obvious include (1) Hillary Clinton winning the Nobel Prize (gee, we could never see that coming, could we?!) and (2) Lady Gaga trying out acting (I wouldn't have foreseen that one in a million years!).

So we have a huge swath of predictions, most of which will never come true, while others are so vague, generalized and obvious that they probably can't help but come true. I mean, Nikki also has Jessica Simpson giving birth this year. Maybe she'll be the starlet who mothers the midgets?
http://www.torontosun.com/life/holidays/features/2010/12/23/16657291.html

As the New Year Begins, I Reflect Upon the Last One, Which Was the Deadliest Year Yet in the 10-Year-Old Afghanistan War…

There were 498 American troop deaths in Afghanistan in 2010 – which is over one-third of all the American deaths for the entire 10-year duration of our involvement in that complete hellhole (second link at bottom). Have you heard that fact reported by a heavily left-leaning American mainstream media which is highly sympathetic to any endeavor supported by Obama? Bet you haven’t.

Matter of fact, you probably hear or see little about the Afghanistan war in your daily lives. Chalk that up to a disgracefully complicit mainstream media and the slimeball agendas of our two illustrious political parties. A new CNN poll (first link at bottom) finds that republicans support the war 52% to 44%. Thus, you never hear your Rush Slimebaughs or Sean Hannitys of the world saying word one about Afghanistan.

The same poll also finds that 75% of democrats oppose the war (BTW, more than 6 in 10 Independents oppose it as well, according to CNN). So where’s the democrat party outrage over Afghanistan? You could hear a damn pin drop.

Most of the democrat party ran for the hills on this issue just as soon as a democrat party member was elected president. The new motto of the democrat party should be, “Make Love Not War Except When a Democrat is President,” since democrats only make noise and organize war protests when a republican’s in the White House. Hypocrites.

Overall, the CNN poll has opposition to the war among the American public, in general, at 56%. What we have in Afghanistan is basically a bloody relic of Bush-era neoconservatism and attempted “nation building.” I supported our initial involvement in Afghanistan when a primary mission was to get Bin Laden and his highest Al Qaeda underlings. But that was 10 years ago. We did what we could in that regard, and now it’s time (long overdue) to bring the boys home.

And frankly I couldn’t care less if that means the Taliban comes back into power in Afghanistan. Al Qaeda has had little trouble finding pockets for safe havens in various places around the globe. Are we really going to sacrifice hundreds or thousands of additional American lives just so that we can say that we’ve kept Al Qaeda out of one of its multiple safe havens?

Are we really that stubborn? And if the answer is “yes,” I want to know who, precisely, is going to deliver that message to the little kid in Springfield, Illinois (or pick the town) who just found out that Daddy ain’t coming home.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/12/30/cnn-poll-opposition-to-afghanistan-war-remains-high/
http://icasualties.org/oef/

It Was 40 Years Ago Today…

...when Paul McCartney filed a lawsuit in England to officially dissolve The Beatles' legal partnership. And in the immortal words of legendary classic rock DJ Dick Bartley – The Party Was Over…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVc6agFI0gA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1970

Obama The Chickenshit.

The most chickenshit president of my lifetime:

(1) Incessant recess appointments to bypass Senate confirmation (link below);

(2) Also avoiding the confirmation process by appointing myriad "Czars" to federal positions of power, most of whom inhabit the most extremist wing of the 20-percenter contingent;

(3) Overbearing use of federal regulatory power and new rulemaking when he's unable to foist some element of his 20-percenter agenda through the Congress;

(4) Ram-rodding widely unpopular and massive pieces of legislation through the Congress on Christmas Eve, Sundays, etc., when no one's paying attention;

(5) Ignoring election results and continuing to jam his 20-percenter agenda through the Congress in a lameduck session;

(6) For the first time in American history, ramming a Treaty into ratification during a lameduck session while America focuses on Christmas shopping during the days before Christmas (am I still allowed to use the word "Christmas," BTW?).

Of course, the typical third-grade "Two Wrongs Make a Right" retort of the 20-percenters: "Yeah, but you republicans have done that stuff too." Well leftists, in case you haven't noticed, I ain't no damn republican. They can kiss my ass, same as you.

And as a matter of fact, no republican or democrat party president in my lifetime has ever utilized all of these various chickenshit techniques and, even when they've used some of them, it's been only a fraction as much as His Majesty Obama has used them.

Sorry if I refuse to tote the politically correct line. If I did that, I would say: "I disagree with Obama on policy, but I think he's a nice person and I like him personally." Well, I don't like him. Not at all. He's an arrogant, condescending, thin-skinned, out-of-touch far leftist elitist -- the worst of the worst that the 20-percenters have to offer. And I can only sit here blogging about dumb crimes and Brett Favre's dong for so long before I feel compelled to express myself. I don't call this thing The Independent Rage for nothing.

And my questions at the end of this year remain the same: What did this great country ever do to deserve 12 years of the likes of W Bush and Obama? To deserve the current corrupt and extreme-controlled incarnations of the republican and democrat party? I guess maybe it's our punishment for making one too many reality series.

http://www.jpost.com/International/Article.aspx?id=201497

HUNG VERDICT!

In perhaps the very final installment of the Brett Favre/Jenn Sterger Sexting/Donging Scandal, NFL Don Roger Goodell decrees from on high that (1) while Favre will be fined $50,000 for failing to fully cooperate with the NFL’s investigation into allegations that Favre sexted/donged photos of his junk to football reporter/eye candy babe Jenn Sterger, (2) the NFL has basically reached a hung verdict on the issue of whether Favre actually committed the dirty deed.

Put another way, and to quote NFL replay nomenclature, the evidence was too “inconclusive” to support a finding that Favre donged a pic of his package to Sterger’s cellphone. More specifically, Godfather Goodell says that he “could not conclude” that Favre committed that act since “forensic analysis” failed to “establish” conclusively that Favre donged the X-rated snapshots of Mr. Johnson to Ms. Sterger.

In the carefully worded language of Boss Goodell, neither Favre nor Sterger was exonerated nor convicted with respect to their stories. In short, Don Vito Goodell threw up his hands and screamed, “I’ve had enough ‘a this – whatsamatta wid you?” He then threw the case out of court, only slapping Favre on the wrist for his failure to cooperate with the investigation as much as the NFL might have liked.

So what’s the truth here? Who the hell knows. But it’s been a very funny (and page-view-friendly) story to follow. Methinks (and I am speculating) that Goodfella Goodell knows damn well what the truth is, but for whatever reasons is falling back to the ol’ “hung verdict” excuse. But hell, what do I really care? This is all total tabloid crap to begin with (and as stated, great for page views! Must it end?!?).

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-nfl-report-20101230,0,2986880.story

I Know the Feeling of Picking Up Merchandise Too Big For My Britches, But on a Burglary Heist? Dim-Witted Burglars Snatch TV Too Big For Getaway Car!

It was circa 1999 at d’Bronx pizza parlor in the Westport district of Kansas City, Missouri. Thinking I was merely ordering an extra-large (perhaps 16” or so) pizza, I made the mistake of ordering the joint’s “Party Size” pie (loaded with probably 8-10 toppings, since I’m not a single-topping sort of guy). Little did I know that such monster was a full 30-incher (pictured above) and quite voluminous to boot.

My first clue that trouble was in store was when another person had to help me haul the gigantic pizza out to my car. And that’s when the fun began, seeing as I then drove a white 1996 Ford Mustang GT convertible (I sure miss that car). No way was that pie going to fit into the little tiny trunk, and we also couldn’t figure out a way to squeeze it through the front seat and into the back seat.

Luckily it was a convertible, so as a last gasp effort I was able to take the top down and angle the giant box (nearly vertically) in that miniscule back seat. Needless to say, the pizza was thoroughly ruined because it all slid down to the bottom of the box, forming a rather sickening, gooey blob of toppings and dough in that part of the container.

That monster costs 75 bucks today, and was probably 55-60 smackers back in the day. What a waste – but at least I paid for it and wasn’t trying to knock over the pizzeria or anything.

In contrast, and speaking of wastes, that brings me to the curious case of some dumbass burglars in Sacramento. Not only were these dudes slimeballs, they were also particularly moronic sleazewads. Police say they tried to rip off a giant television from a local home, only to get the TV out to their Lexus and find that the TV wouldn’t fit in the car!

I guess they at least had the minimal level of intelligence necessary to ascertain that cutting the TV into pieces would serve no constructive re-sale burglarly purpose, since they just dumped the TV on the curb and hightailed it for the hills. (They could have at least had the courtesy to return the TV to the living room since they couldn't take it!).

A neighbor reportedly witnessed this sorry charade and called the cops, who have already made one arrest in the case and are looking for two additional suspects. They might want to check out the local kindergarten, funny farm or state capitol building since what the cops are looking for ain’t exactly the two sharpest knives in the proverbial kitchen drawer.

http://www.foxreno.com/news/26296010/detail.html

If Obama Has Time on His Hands to Contact NFL Teams About Personnel Decisions, Maybe He Can Next Contact the Kansas City Chiefs About Their Backup QB?

The news over the past day that Obama actually found time in his schedule to contact the Philadelphia Eagles and express his presidential approval for the Eagles allowing Michael Vick to play on their team (BTW, why didn't this occur 2 years ago when the Eagles first signed him?) really got me thinking:

Maybe next Obama can place a call to Kansas City Chiefs' General Manager Scott Pioli and advise Pioli to give Chiefs' backup quarterback Brodie Croyle his walking papers when the season is over? Here in KC, the local radio sports talk is constantly filled with incessant and frankly boring pissing matches between haters and lovers of the Chiefs' starting QB Matt Cassel, with precious little discussion of backup Croyle. Maybe Obama can set a new agenda and change all of that?

And I am being halfway serious. Croyle is 0-10 as an NFL starter and in his last start led the Chiefs to an embarrassing shutout performance at the hands of the Chargers -- both being (0-10 and an NFL shutout) very difficult achievements for a starting NFL QB to pull of. In my opinion, Croyle is simply not a competent NFL backup -- and at a position where having a competent backup is crucial. While having a gun for an arm, he apparently has little in the way of touch, accuracy or the ability to survive more than about one game without being sidelined by injury.

Why the local fans and radio talking heads pay such scant attention to this obvious issue (and instead focus on Cassel 24-7), I have no clue. So Save Us, Obama! Send us down the right path, Oh Great One!!! Seriously: For once, we could actually use your help.

http://www.philly.com/inquirer/sports/20101228_Obama_commends_Eagles_for_giving_Vick_second_chance.html

Palin Chainsaw Massacre: Just What I've Always Wanted to Do to Get Close to Nature -- Hack Down a Giant Tree with a Chainsaw!

That was Sarah Palin on this weekend's episode of her reality series, Sarah Palin's Alaska, as she tried to do her best logger impersonation by using a giant chainsaw to chop down a tree. Leatherface would be proud. For good measure, she also tried to operate some of the heavy machinery, using a hauler to move the giant trees around once they'd been cut.

Palin also used the occasion to get a blast in on environmentalists, whom she says are always sending her "nasty letters." She says that they're hypocrites because their letters use tree products -- pencil and paper. Really? Who the hell ever uses a pencil apart from a grade schooler or a sketch artist?

Regardless, there is apparently only one episode left of her reality show. Maybe she will try to extrapolate some of her newly found chainsaw skills into other areas. Working a guest shift in a slaughterhouse or butcher shop comes to mind. Or how about a shift cutting hair at the local beauty parlor?

Heck, she could even try to take things big time by answering a casting call when Hollywood invariably remakes the film Scarface. Although, when it comes to the prospect of seeing Sarah Palin in a shower scene, that's not quite what many of us previously had in mind.

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/chainsaw-wielding-sarah-palin-complains-about-conservationists-with-their-pretty-little-pencils/
http://www.politico.com/click/stories/1012/palin_knocks_conservationists.html

Having Reportedly Given Up His Cancer Sticks For the Last Nine Months, Obama’s Now Taken Up Chewing?

Yes, I’m teasing rather inappropriately with that headline, as the “chewing” we’re talking about is Nicorette gum. But you know, if it did come to light that Obama takes a dip of chewing tobacco every now and then (“just a little pinch between the ol’ cheek and gum”), it might actually help him connect a tiny bit better with those of us here in middle America. That’s very “Average Joe” stuff, after all. And I wouldn’t even hold it against him, although I’d urge him to quit.

As for White House press secretary Robert Gibbs’ claim that Obama has quit smoking for nine months (which Gibbs says is the longest period during which Obama has gone without smoking in the eight years that Gibbs has known Obama): If that’s true (and I have no reason to question it), then I give Obama a lot of credit, even despite the fact that I am a very frequent critic of the president.

After all, quitting smoking (or any type of tobacco use) ain’t easy. It’s damn hard. But quitting is always the best thing for the smoker, his/her family, and anyone who cares about him/her. And Kids: In addition to never smoking cigarettes, never chew tobacco either.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/12/25/obama%e2%80%99s-smoking-announcement/#more-140957

Slimeball Christmas, Part 2: Have a Holly Nazi Christmas -- Newly Released Rare Photos Show Hitler & His Nazi Slugs Partying It Up on Christmas 1941.

Reportedly these photos were buried in a jar in the ground by the Nazi photographer and have only recently come to light. The linked story also explains that Hitler believed religion should have no part in his Nazi regime, and so:

"He replaced the Christian figure of Saint Nicholas with the Norse god Odin and urged Germans to celebrate the season as a holiday of the ‘winter solstice’, rather than Christmas. Out of sight at the top of the tree behind Hitler was a swastika instead of an angel, and many of the baubles carried runic symbols and iron cross motifs."

And given Hitler's desire to change the entire nature of Christmas, I can only imagine how the Christmas carols were altered in the Nazi reich -- what with such sleazewad propagandists as Josef Goebbels running around. I'm trying to picture the local Berlin soft-rock FM station and its wall-to-wall Christmas song December playlist. Its Top 10 in heavy rotation might have went something like this:

10. "I Saw Eva Kissing Der Fuhrer"
9. "Up on the Bunkertop"
8. "Yankee Got Run Over By a Panzer"
7. "The 12 Days of Blitzkrieg"
6. "Walking in a Winter Russian Hell"
5. "I'm Dreaming of a White Supremacy"
4. "The Little Hitler-Youth Boy"
3. "Adolph the Red-Hating Dictator"
2. "Martial Laws Is Coming to Town"
1. "Happy Xmas (War Is Just Gettin' Started)"

Honorable Mentions: "Go Tell It to the Gestapo"; "Jingle Bell Brownshirt".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1341272/Hitlers-Christmas-party-Rare-photographs-capture-leading-Nazis-celebrating-1941.html

Slimeball Christmas: Obama/GOP Tax Bill Loaded With Earmarks & Sweetheart Tax Gifts For Such Things as Hollywood, Railroad Tracks, Race Horses & Rum.

For many Americans, it seemed like a simple enough and easy-to-support tax compromise between Obama, the democrat party and republicans: The current income tax rates would be extended for all Americans for two additional years rather than having those rates go up during the ongoing recession. Apart from the far left loons, who could possibly be against that, right?

Problem is, the "tax bill" (signed this week by Obama) was also chock full of earmarks and specialized tax breaks of all sorts -- all completely unrelated to the issue of the income tax rate. And democrats and republicans alike jumped onboard faster than you can say Porky Pig. Business as usual in DC. (There was just an election a few months back, no?)

And that's the reason why I was opposed to the bill before it was passed. But even I didn't realize the full magnitude of some of the utter crap that these two parties jammed into the bill. A lot of that is just starting to come to light now. As the linked story details, the "tax bill" contains all kinds of horse$hit having nothing whatsoever to do with income tax rates. Here's some examples:

-Tax breaks for producing movies and TV shows in Hollywood.
-Rum subsidies for Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands.
-Grants to put up windmills.
-Grants for producing solar energy.
-Tax breaks for people to buy race horses.
-Tax breaks related to railroad track maintenance.
-Other breaks for motorsport racetrack upgrades.

And if you're like me and most Americans -- i.e. not really involved in a great deal of movie production, race horse ownership or windmill construction -- then Obama and these two parties have a special gift in this new bill that may just apply to you: For homeowners, an end to the tax break for paying local property taxes unless you pay a tax preparer to itemize your deductions on your tax return. The linked story says that two-thirds of tax filers don't itemize.

Put another way: The new bill sticks it to millions of average Americans who don't itemize by taking away one of their most basic tax breaks while at the same time including within the bill all sorts of sweetheart tax breaks for huge companies, Hollywood movie studios and players within the race horse industry.

Gee, thanks Obama, democrats and republicans (and Captain Morgan thanks you as well)! Just in time for Christmas too! With such wonderful politicians as all of you looking out for us this Christmas season, who needs the Grinch?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_tax_cuts_goodies

Making Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka and "Original Gangsta" New Jack Proud: Romanian Fool Leaps From Parliament Balcony to Protest Public Worker Wage Cuts!

His name is Adrian Sobaru -- nickname Sabu. He doesn't much care for the fact that the Romanian government, "mired in recession," recently cut wages for public employees. And damn it, he was going to do something about it! What, you might ask? Well, jump off a 23-foot-high Parliament balcony, of course! What else was he to do?

The linked story explains that Sabu first "clambered up on to the balcony" as the Romanian Prime Minister was getting ready to kick off a parliamentary session. Sabu wore a white T-shirt that proclaimed, among other things, "You've Pierced Us!" After a little window dressing consisting of some wild gestures and shouting, Sabu got down (literally) to the main event: Sabu took a flying leap off the balcony, apparently barely missing some of the lawmakers below as he crashed into the hard floor.

While this goof could have used to have had some sense knocked into him as a result of his little header, he reportedly suffered only minor injuries. What's more, his mouth was left completely intact. As they hauled his ass out on a stretcher, Sabu shouted "Freedom!" at the horrified onlookers. No word yet whether he'll now face criminal charges, although he will be forced, for some reason, to undergo "psychological counseling."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1341112/Horror-Romanian-man-leaps-Parliament-balcony-protest-austerity-measures.html#

Creature of the House Nancy Pelosi Turns to Hollywood to Help "Rebrand" the Image of Herself & the Democrat Party.

Sorry, San Fran Nan, but that's sort of like trying to "rebrand" a floater in a Mississippi $hithouse. And I love how Steven Spielberg comes out with an immediate statement denying the Washington Post report. Good company you're keeping there, Stevie: Helping out the out-of-touch likes of Creature Pelosi and then denying a WaPo report with your best impression of Tricky Dick Nixon. Maybe next you can have Liddy hold his hand over a flame for a few minutes to scare us?

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/democratic-party/steven-spielberg-advising-nanc.html

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2010/12/23/2010-12-23_steven_spielberg_not_advising_house_speaker_nancy_pelosi_democrats_on_rebranding.html

Obama Signs "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Repeal for Gays in the Military. After Much Reflection, Here's My Thought...

...Yawn.

Obama the great gay rights advocate who's on record opposing gay marriage. So let me get this straight: They're equal enough to kill, but not to marry? (Apologies to Barry McGuire). Hypocrite.

And on the subject of the troops, we now near the end of a year 2010 that has seen almost 500 American troops killed in that absolute hellhole they call Afghanistan -- easily the most deadly year yet among many deadly years in the now 10-year-long war. Maybe the media can next declare that an "Obama victory" too?

http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/12/22/dadt.repeal/index.html
http://icasualties.org/oef/