The Key to Happiness & Success in Life, Courtesy of Big Apple's Nanny, Mayor Bloomberg: Cut Down on Them Damn Wasteful Shithouse Visits, Among Other Useful Suggestions!

Spewed Bloomberg in an interview this week:  "Work hard. Really hard. I always tried to be the first one in in the morning and the last one to leave at night, take the fewest vacations and the least time away from the desk to go the bathroom or have lunch."

There you have it. Deep. Profound. Want happiness and success? Don't eat, thereby reducing the amount of time you need to spend on the can. And avoid vacations, which are overrated. And be sure to log 80-hour work weeks, since you don't have anything important to do anywhere else anyway.

And as for everything else in life away from work, just let Big Brother Bloomberg and the government do your thinking for you. They know what's best. You need them to take care of you, and that's what they're there for. Lord knows you can't do it on your own. You're too tired and weak from those 16-hour days and 2-minute lunches, after all.

http://politicker.com/2013/08/mayor-bloomberg-take-fewer-bathroom-breaks-to-succeed/

"Who Made Barack Obama the Wyatt Earp of the Global Village?" Right-Winger Pat Buchanan Nails It -- Obama Has No Business Sticking America's Military Snout Into Syria...

Adds Buchanan (link below): "Who deputized the United States to walk the streets of the world pistol-whipping bad actors? Where does our imperial president come off drawing 'red lines' and ordering nations not to cross them?"

Under the familiar dubious pretense of "weapons of mass destruction" and the allegation that Syrian dictator Assad himself ordered a gas attack on Syrian rebels and civilians (even though it would have been completely against his interests to do so), Obama is once again preparing to Go Libya and flex his neoconservative, W Bush-Light muscles by attacking Syria to accomplish the unstated neocon goal of regime change (or, at the very least, the goal of making a political statement that no one crosses Obama once he draws a red line!).

An American attack on Syria would now seem inevitable, but I hope it isn't. The United States has no business getting involved in foreign wars and military incursions (even if "only" short-term bombing is initially involved) unless it's absolutely necessary. And attacking Syria (which risks a much broader war or military conflict bringing in Iran, Hezbollah and Israel) sure as hell ain't that.

Buchanan, BTW, may be a devoted right-winger with whom I've often disagreed on many things, but he's always been consistent on this point regardless of the letter next to the president's name: You don't involve the American military abroad unless such a course of action (unlike attacking Syria) is vital to American interests. I can recall, for example, Buchanan's opposition (along with that old walking sarcophagus, Bob Novak) to both old man Bush's Persian Gulf War in 1990 and W Bush's terrible, ill-conceived and lie-premised Iraq War in the 2000s.

If Obama does attack, I'll be very curious to see how muted and silent of a response we'll hear from the leftist 20 percenters -- who typically (and hypocritically) only raise a ruckus over such things when the president has an "R" next to his name. I do expect a few of them will be intellectually honest and voice their opposition to a Syrian attack, but I ain't counting on too many of them acting like that -- ya know, like decent human beings and all.

http://www.wnd.com/2013/08/congress-should-veto-obamas-war/

#9 Nightmare: Deranged Dentist Yanks Old Rotten Tooth of John Lennon at Auction for $30K, Then Announces Diabolical Plan to CLONE the Ex-Beatle from the Molar!

This story (link at bottom) may be even more demented than that little hook dentists use to scrape around inside your mouth, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit the story has me a little bit intrigued...

My favorite work of Lennon came from around the time of his death in late 1980, with that year's "Double Fantasy" album and some of the posthumous material that came out. If he hadn't been whacked out like that, just "imagine" some of the great music that might have followed, possibly to this day.

But alas, even if Dr. Yankemstein was to create his fake Lennon clone tomorrow, we'd still have to wait 40 freakin' years for the clone to reach that point in his life where Lennon was in 1980.

So hows about we instead clone from some old tooth off of Anna Nicole Smith or Farrah Fawcett? Then I'd only have to wait 18 years before those hot little numbers would be up for grabs.

http://now.msn.com/john-lennon-tooth-michael-zuk-dentist-wants-to-clone-singer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cQdGq2y6_0 (This is a YouTube video of my favorite pre-1980 Lennon tune, "#9 Dream", which (who would've figured) reached #9 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1974 -- a beautiful, catchy, transcending sort of song that always takes me back to the first time I ever heard it, circa 1985).

Weekend EXCLUSIVE That You Heard Here First: Hillary Clinton's 2016 democrat party Presidential Running Mate Will Be Current Newark New Jersey Mayor Cory Booker...

I read the first linked story this week about VP Joe Biden's delusional thinking that he actually has a chance against Clinton in the 2016 democrat party presidential primary, and then the thought occurred to me:  If Biden runs (probably will) against Hillary (who certainly will) and Biden loses (which he certainly will), might we be stuck with the gaffe-prone old fool Biden for 8 more years as VP? In other words, might Hillary select him to be her running mate?

But it immediately struck me -- no way in hell. Hillary will be a bona fide old codger in 2016 and will want some young blood to run with her. So that led me to consider -- what young democrat party punk will it be?

That's where the second WSJ link comes in -- an article making it clear that Hillary in 2016 will need to attract a very strong black turnout (it needs to approach Obama's high black turnout even if Hillary can't possibly equal it) -- along with a heavy dose of the other non-white and single female vote -- if she wants to ensure victory over the right-winger gop-er party candidate.

So what we're left with: (1) Young; (2) Black; and (3) Male (since Hillary will not peg an all-female ticket).  Now, who fits that bill and would also likely run well as a national candidate, appealing widely to voters of all races?

Booker's the only person I can think of to meet those criteria and to be somewhat known nationally.  Plus, by 2016, he won't just be the "Newark Mayor," but will then be a U.S. Senator (with a helpful limited Senate voting record, just like Obama had), since he's running this year for the Senate from New Jersey and will win.

So there you have it. No need for any further speculation in the next three years. Clinton will run with Booker. And that's not some sort of wishful thinking on my part, nor any kind of endorsement of Booker. He seems like a personable enough sort, but I know little about his total world view (which I assume is decidedly leftist).

Plus, once I get to know better just about any of these democrat party or gop-er politicians, I nearly always dislike them. Not to mention, no one votes for Vice President anyway (even if VP selection can help "turn out the vote" from one candidate's own voters), and I sure as shit won't be voting for the sleazy Hillary (nor likely for the gop-er party nominee) in 2016.

So no agenda here. Just a prediction that you can make book on.  Bank on it. Mark it down. Leastways, until I change, withdraw or modify it somewhere down the line. I reserve the right, after all, to let my opinion "evolve," as the current president and his followers are so fond of spouting.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323423804579020781151204004.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_LEFTTopStories
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324139404579013144182779468.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_sections_opinion

Stop the Press: Even Left-Leaning Chicago Tribune Now Says Obamacare Was an "Ill-Conceived Law," "Strong-Armed" Into Effect By democrat party, & Which Now Should Be "Delayed & Re-Written"!

I don't mean to toot my own Independent horn over here from back in 2009 and 2010 when I did my best to crusade in this space against this huge far leftist 20 percenter monstrosity piece of legislation known as Obamacare...

Which was foisted into law (actually, I'm kinda liking "strong-armed" better) against the will of the American people on a straight party-line vote by the democrat party using every dirty trick, piece of corruption, and parliamentary gimmick known to man ("It was 'reconciliation', not the 'nuclear option!'", the leftist slimes once screamed at me on the Facebook, as if there's any meaningful distinction).

So I don't mean to toot my own horn over here, BUT:  TOOT, TOOT!  And then TOOT TOOT again. (Maybe The Trib could use a good IRS audit or something, right leftists?)

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-08-18/opinion/ct-edit-obamacare-0818-jm-20130818_1_health-care-president-obama-ill-conceived-law

New Study: "Wolves Have a Unique Singing Voice," with Each Smelly, Snarling Creature Having an Individually Recognizable Howl. And I'm Here to Testify...

Stick a blindfold on my melon, and play me just a few seconds of such rabid creatures as Rush Slimebaugh, Bill Maher, Sarah Palin, Michael Moore, Sean Hannity, Rachel Maddow, etc., etc., and I'll identify each howl by the sleazeball's name in two seconds flat.

You see, those screeches truly are highly distinct, even if the underlying blather and substance is little more than garden-variety noise pollution.

And truth be told, using human political varmints to validate this new animal science must be fairly insulting to self-respecting real wolves everywhere, I'd admit. But then, I'm an insulting sort of guy.

http://www.upi.com/Science_News/2013/07/22/Computer-voice-print-recognizes-wolves-in-the-wild-by-their-howls/UPI-22831374529213/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2373903/Wolves-unique-singing-voice-identify-howl.html

Fry 'Em: "Two Men Wrongly Convicted of Murder Receive $12.5 Million From North Carolina" YEARS LATER. Hard to Imagine a More Compelling Case in Favor of the Death Penalty...

If, after all, North Carolina was more serious about imposing its death penalty law, and if the state had just put these two men to death years ago when first convicted, then North Carolina would not now be on the hook for over $12 million in damages...

You cannot tell me in these rotten economic times that $12 million is small potatoes to any state, and I betcha this hit ain't gonna help North Carolina one iota. The inescapable truth is this: Fry these guys (Floyd Brown and Greg Taylor; pictured above) when given the opportunity, and you won't facing all this shitstorm years down the road. Nice one, Tar Heel State!

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvd/story?section=news/local&id=9203939
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2391517/Two-North-Carolina-men-wrongly-convicted-murder-imprisoned-total-31-YEARS-receive-12-5-million-state.html

"Obama Mask Gate" at the Missouri State Fair Last Weekend at First Had Me Lookin' to Start a Fair Boycott...

But alas, those Fried Green Tomatoes (with Ranch dipping sauce; my pic above) that they serve at the Fair are just too damn tasty.  So Bye Bye, Boycott.  And Hello Fair (which I attended Monday).

Sorry leftist 20 percenters.  Feel free to call me racist, if you must, but don't you dare call me a "fairgoer from rural Missouri."  I haven't lived in Missouri for 13 freakin' years over here!

http://www.kansascity.com/2013/08/11/4403626/shameful-missouri-state-fair-stunt.html

Father Fellatio in Grave Trouble: Big Stick Catholic Priest in Boston Gets Busted For Paying Hooker to Blow His Holy Horn Down at the Damn Graveyard!

I guess there are worse places to do the deed. Inside the undertaker's workshop at the funeral parlor for one. Or in the church vestibule right before mass. And I don't even want to ponder inside the confessional. I mean, why not the graveyard? It's quiet. Just don't let the cops spot your preacher ass on that sarcophagus with a hoe...

If only "Monsignor" Arthur Coyle (pictured above) had heeded my warning. Cops in Boston this week say they caught the good reverend (a high-ranking priest in the Boston Archdiocese) with his pants down (literally) as a "known prostitute" was speaking into his mike in a local cemetery!

And this sex-starved servant of God is also apparently one cheapskate churchman, after he confided to cops that he had paid a whopping 40 bucks  to the trumpet-playing strumpet to get her knees dirty on hallowed ground.

But this life-like Oral Roberts says he didn't even get his paltry money's worth, since cops broke up the brain salad surgery before this call girl of the crypt got a chance to finish off Minister Gobble Gobble's communion wafer.

Now Padre Polish Knob should have plenty of time to hang out in the graveyard, since in addition to facing a prostitution charge, the church has put him on indefinite leave. So if you see that mausoleum a' rockin', DON'T GO a' knockin'!

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/08/06/boston-area-priest-busted-with-a-prostitute-in-a-graveyard/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2385156/Senior-Catholic-priest-arrested-caught-red-handed-paying-40-dollars-oral-sex-known-prostitute-cemetery.html

Out of Touch: Right-Winger Drudge Report & Left-Leaning Politico Go Ape This Week on Washington Post Being Sold -- a Story That Most Americans Couldn't Give a Rat's Ass About!

Drudge Report may get a ton of page views.  But at what price? And guess how?  By linking a full panoply of right-winger and political numbnut (see WaPost sold) stories all the time, coupled with typically misleading propaganda headlines, and then incessantly drawing in a bunch of loony leftist 20 percenters who are constantly "monitoring" the same sick situation! Meantime Politico masquerades as an objective source on the same dreary, boring slate of stories but puts its own left-leaning slant on them.

Both websites bore the living hell out of me with the overwhelming majority of their content. Only in Washington DC, and only within the American political establishment (tossing in some tea party lackeys and mama's basement leftist 20 percenters just to round out this demented equation), could two such websites be so successful due to little more than the small sliver partisan and wonk audiences that prop them up.

For the record, most of us (whether Independent or whether affiliated with the awful democrat party or gop-er party) here in middle America could not give a Georgia shithouse about the Washington Post being sold to some Amazon.com lout.  But on the most highly viewed political websites amongst "beltway" leftists and right-wingers in Washington DC (such as Drudge Report and Politico), the WaPost story was the biggest story in the world (!!!) on Monday and Tuesday -- sitting completely atop those sites both days. Fools.

I swear, without my own (this) website, the UK Daily Mail, and a few other sporadic sites to entertain me, I would have little reason to even have an Internet -- sort of how it was with old Missouri head football coach Larry Smith, sans the white hair and short stature. Maybe the old dead coacher was on to something there.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/washington-post-to-be-sold-to-jeff-bezos/2013/08/05/ca537c9e-fe0c-11e2-9711-3708310f6f4d_story.html

Rainy City Renobs: Seattle Seeks to Ban "Potentially Offensive" Language Such as "Citizen" and "Brown Bag." And For Good Reason...

I'm not sure why anyone would be up in arms over this ban. "Citizen" is so stereotypical. Just because I live here and somewhat blend in does not necessarily make me a "citizen." I could be an illegal alien, or a hobo just passin' through, for all you know. Do not just go around making suppositions about me. That offends me. And it's me that matters.

Same for "brown bag." What if you schedule a "brown bag" lunch and I feel like calling out for a hot meal to be delivered in? Or what if I do bring my eats from home, but in a lunchbox instead of your "brown bag." What then? Am I gonna ruin your freakin' lunch?! Oh, and Heaven Forbid if I feel like channeling my inner wino and gettin' my drink on outta a damn "brown bag"!

I get angrier that a midget stewardess in a manhole when I hear people using these kinds of offensive words and phrases. It's so not P-C.  And thus Viva La Seattle, I say! Besides, I always credit cities and locations that put me on advance notice of why I likely would never want to visit them.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/10219389/Seattle-bans-words-citizen-and-brown-bag.html