Dear Abby, He Ain't: Tweeting Twit gop-er Politician Raises a Ruckus with Crazy Advice Tweets Telling Women to be "Whores" (Among Other Things)...

You won't see this one on the Drudge Report. Republic partisan New Jersey Senate candidate Phil Mitsch is in a caldron of hot water over deranged "advice" tweets that this advice columnist wannabe reportedly blasts out like stench from an Alabama shithouse -- "offering nuggets of advice on everything from finances, politics, relationships and sex" (links at bottom). And now his loose-lipped "generosity" may just cost him his political career...

Having been divorced for the past 20 years, this moron Mitsch is, of course, the best person to be handing out relationship pointers over the Net. So in a recent tweet, Mitsch advised the women among his 44,000 Twitter followers that if they want to keep their man, they should try to be "a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom." Now who in her right mind would ever want to divorce a charmer like that?

Mitsch has defended the tweet by saying he was just doling out a "relationship tip" in the form of a "time worn phrase" and was not trying to be disrespectful to women. He's also issued the typical non-apology apology ("I apologize if I offended anyone..."). But none of that has stopped fellow gop-ers as well as democrat party people alike from jumping all over his advice-imparting ass.

"This is the year 2011, not 1811," crowed one local democrat party politician in one of the funnier lines I've read this week. Continued the democrat pol (named Pamela Lampitt): "Mr. Mitsch should resign immediately from the ballot for his disgusting anti-women remarks."

And it's not like this is an isolated instance when it comes to Mitsch's bizarre "advice" and "motivational" tweets. Other tweets of his have ranged from the brain-dead to the just plain demented. An example of the former was a tweet containing a "leadership tip" from Mitsch that "great leaders" lead their followers "in the right direction." Gee, never thought of it quite that way. Sort of like how great athletes tend to, you know, play their sport real well.

Another example shows the more maniacal side of Mitsch's "advice" efforts: "Drinking draino and smoking dutch cleanser will only get a very few people through life." Where would Mitsch's Twitter followers be without him around to them these things? No doubt strolling down that dangerous road to ruin that's marked by drinking household cleaning products and failing to whore it up in the sack.

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/132258068.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2051424/Phil-Mitsch-GOP-candidate-anti-female-twitter-advice.html
http://www.philly.com/philly/news/new_jersey/132286988.html

Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine: Startling Connections Between gop-er Pres Candidate Herman Cain & Late Rock Legend John Lennon Revealed...

I saw a poll Thursday in which republic partisan presidential candidate Herman Cain now leads Mitt Romney by seven percentage points in the critical early nominating state of Iowa. This must have the gop-er "establishment" (which heavily favors Romney) absolutely perplexed, despite their habitual posturing that Cain has no chance at the nomination given his lack of organizational and fundraising apparatus in place in most states.

And seemingly adding to the current good (instant) karma for the "Cain Train" are the many remarkable emerging similarities and connections between the Hermanator and the late great John Lennon. Would Lennon have been a Cain supporter? Lift me up off the floor after I stop laughing. However, a strangely eerie connection is there, undeniably. To wit:

1. Everywhere a Number Nine: The number nine was very important to Lennon. It seemed like all of the important dates of his life always had a nine in them. Lennon used the number nine in a number of song titles and lyrics over the years. For example, check out sometime (at the very bottom of this post) the "number nine" chant in Lennon's "Revolution No. 9" from the Beatles' White Album. And what's Herman Cain's most significant proposal and buzz phrase? "9-9-9" of course, in reference to Cain's plan to overhaul the federal tax system. Lennon would liked the plan's name, if not (likely) the substance behind it.


2. Imagine That: Perhaps the ultimate Lennon signature song was "Imagine," a truly beautiful song regardless of what you think of the Utopian lyrics. And what song from Herman Cain has recently gone viral on YouTube? That would be Cain's 1991 AD version of Lennon's "Imagine" -- which Cain altered slightly (OK, a lot) to become "Imagine There's No Pizza" -- at a Godfather's Pizza convention. You just can't make this stuff up.


3. The Rumors of His Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated: Lennon -- often as the inadvertent result of his own songs and lyrics -- had to entertain constant questions about "Paul Is Dead" rumors throughout the 60's and 70's AD. Cain had to entertain the issue of the Godfather's Pizza chain being dead when he took over as CEO in 1986 AD, proclaiming to employees at the time, "We are not dead." (True story)


4. The Kansas City Connection: Lennon recorded "Kansas City" with the Beatles and once (also with the Beatles) played old Municipal Stadium over at 22nd & Brooklyn in Kansas City. Herman Cain was previously chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City. In addition, Cain has been previously blamed by the American left for being a key factor in bringing down HillaryCare in 1994 AD after he challenged Bill Clinton on the proposed legislation at a town hall meeting in -- you guessed it -- Kansas City. This is really startin' to get weird.


5. We Were Poor, But We Had Love: Both Lennon and Cain grew up in "working poor" families and were raised by women in the services industries (Cain's mom a maid and Lennon's Aunt Mimi a secretary).


6. A Couple of Albert Einsteins: Cain grew up in the 60's AD on Albert Street in the Collier Heights neighborhood of Hotlanta. Lennon once sang about Albert Hall in the 60's AD, positing the question of how many holes it would take to fill up the joint (an historic English concert hall). Not to mention, there were two different Alberts (including one of the Einstein variety obscured over Lennon's right shoulder) amongst the motley crew of characters adorning the Beatles' legendary Sgt. Pepper album cover.


7. Well I'm Not Going to Try THAT One Again: Both men were heavily linked to two of the worst presidential campaigns in modern American history: (1) Cain worked for the Dole/Kemp campaign in 1996 AD; and (2) Lennon was a huge supporter of the 1972 AD campaign of George McGovern -- to this day perhaps the only major presidential nominee in American history to the left of Barack H. Obama.


8. The Walrus Was Paul: John Lennon once sang about "yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye." Herman Cain has experienced the same phenomenon up close and personal, having now watched Rick Perry's performance in the last several gop-er debates.


9. #9 Nightmare: Lennon was truly victimized by incessant bullshit efforts by the Nixon administration to harass him and deport him from the country. If Cain ends up being the gop-ers' nominee for president, he will likewise learn a whole new meaning for the word "victimized" as he experiences personal attacks from the campaign of the most Nixonian president since Tricky Dick himself, Barack H. Obama -- a man whose campaign has previously publicly vowed to "kill" the gop-er nominee next year through character assassination. Better be careful what you wish for, Herman. Imagine there's no decency...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herman_cain
http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/elections/election_2012/election_2012_presidential_election/iowa/2012_iowa_republican_caucus

She Came, She Sawed, She Almost Conquered: Woman Allegedly Tries to Whack Off Her Old Man's Head with a Buzz Saw and a Hatchet!

Wonder if she'd just watched Saw 47? Regardless, something allegedly turned a 43-year-old Washington state woman into an amateur sawbones practicing without a license last Friday (allegedly). I've heard of an angry spouse trying to cut the other spouse down to size, but this is absolutely ridiculous...

Cops in Everett, Washington say that the woman's old man (age 36) awoke Friday night to the romantic sounds of a "power tool whirring at his neck." The guy says his old lady was trying to hack off his melon with a damn power saw! This deranged saw dame reportedly failed to pull it off, for lack of a better phrase, but still left her old man's "head and neck covered in bloody cuts."

The bloody victim says he foiled his old lady's attempt to stick his mush on the butcher block by quickly switching on the light, which he says revealed his old lady "menacingly holding" the buzz saw near his neck.

And if at first you don't succeed: Just for good measure, the dude says his old lady also tried to take off his head by coming after him with a hatchet that same night. Cops say they found the hatchet "wet" on a kitchen shelf, as if the old lady had tried to give it a quick wash down to try to spoliate the evidence (allegedly).

Cops say they also recovered the buzz saw plus a ton of blood splattered all over the joint's carpets and walls. Plus, they also have the old man's mangled head and neck as Exhibit 1.

And it's not like the old man's story has changed in this thing. From the moment cops arrived, he reportedly exclaimed, "It was you, it was you - you tried to cut my head off. You're going to jail!" Somehow I don't see this motley twosome burying the hatchet over this whole incident anytime soon.

Meantime cops have busted this saw-swingin' broad's (allegedly) ass on a charge of domestic violence assault (NOT attempted murder?!?), meaning her next hatchet job (allegedly) may have to go down inside the wood shop at the local hoosegow.

But the old lady is not without a defense over there. She says she grabbed the buzz saw that evening because she thought she heard an intruder trying to escape the house through a daughter's window (not enter, mind you, but escape). Which only makes perfect sense:

You hear an intruder trying to get away scot-free by leaping out a window in another room, and so you would naturally fire up a power saw right there in the bedroom and accost the old man with it! I have to admit that I'm struggling to grasp the reasoning here, but perhaps she was just really, really pissed off that the old man hadn't done more to thwart the alleged burglar's escape?

But it doesn't appear to matter much. Cops say there was no sign of any intruder. The home's doors were locked from the inside, and the daughter's window had a child lock that prevented it from opening more than a couple of inches. Maybe the old lady can claim that you can't blame her faulty hearing given the loud racket that damn power saw was making?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/10/18/2011-10-18_washington_woman_arrested_for_trying_to_cut_husbands_head_off_with_power_saw_as_.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2050385/Woman-tries-cut-sleeping-husbands-head-power-saw.html

Obama's Problem with Independents:It's the Ideology, Stupid!

In a banner headline story this week (link at bottom), Politico.com used almost 1,500 words to try to explain why Independents in Virginia and elsewhere disapprove of Obama by wide margins in various polls that range from 20 percentage point disapproval all the way up to 2-t0-1 disapproval. In the process, Politico offers up every conceivable explanation under the sun, with the leftist 20 percenter side of things basically claiming, over and over again, "It's the economy stupid." But oh contraire.

It's a lot more than that, and I don't need 10 typewritten pages to explain it: Obama has been the consummate partisan leftist ideologue during his time in office -- arguably the most leftist president in American history. This is a center-right country, and Independents don't like that shit. If they did, they wouldn't be Independents.

This isn't some new phenomenon. Obama lost the Independents during his first year in office in 2009 AD, and his leftist toilings haven't won over any of the Independents since then. And the prospects of Obama recapturing any Independents between now and the 2012 AD election are grim and none, with grim presently locked up in a Mississippi shithouse with the key missing.

In short, Obama lacks the means of reconnecting with very many Independents. When Bill Clinton ran his centrist 1996 AD campaign, he had widely popular, center-right accomplishments to back it up (e.g., balanced budget, welfare reform). Three words: Obama ain't gots shit.

You see, Obama was only elected in 2008 AD because many Independents (me not among them, BTW) bought into the soaring "moderate" rhetoric that revealed not the first clue about what Obama actually intended to do if he was elected to office.

For 2012 AD, Obama can trot out all the same disingenuous bullshit rhetoric until the cows come home, and it ain't gonna resonate. Know why? Because, unlike Clinton, Obama has no accomplishments (other than leftist ones) to back any of it up.

But alas, all is not completely lost for Obama. Not by a long shot. He recently starting calling himself the "underdog" for 2012 AD, but that's pure bunk. He's still the slight favorite.

Chalk that up to: (1) The republic partisans nominating a stiff (likely Romney); (2) Obama having much more money than his gop-er challenger; (3) A complicit set of advocates in the "mainstream" media; and (4) The bully pulpit of the incumbent president and the advantages that go along with. Also, don't discount the distinct possibility of a third-party or so-called "independent" candidate (possibly the Trumper) splitting the right-winger vote and handing Obama the election.

So Obama hasn't lost in 2012 AD. Not yet, leastways. But he sure as hell has lost the Independents, and I don't see many of them coming back. And that may just be the deciding factor come next November. Not that I have a dog in the fight.

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1011/66220.html

Leftist 20 Percenter "occupy" protests Officially Endorsed by Communist and Nazi Parties, as well as by Obama. With Friends Like That...

...who needs millionaires, billionaires and Wall Street bankers?


Deranged right-winger tea partiers, meantime, must be lamenting their failure to get in on a piece of this fringe frenzy.

http://dailycaller.com/2011/10/17/red-white-and-angry%e2%80%a8-communist-nazi-parties-endorse-occupy-protests/

http://www.ft.com/intl/cms/s/0/052226f8-f80c-11e0-a419-00144feab49a.html
http://dailycaller.com/2011/10/11/tea-party-groups-criticize-media-coverage-of-occupy-wall-street/

They Weren't Developing Kickball Strategy in that Office (Allegedly): "Female Gym Teacher, 26, Had Lesbian Affair with Girl, 14, She Was Coaching"

Good Grief. Just when I think I've heard it all when it comes to these school teacher sex scandals, a whole new apple gets polished on top of Teach's desk. The latest sick twist in these sagas comes from Texas, where the pictured bosomy PE teacher, Rebecca De La Garza (26 years old), stands accused of having an eight-month-long lesbian affair with one of her 14-year-old girl students (links at bottom).

Maybe the busty Rebecca had watched one too many Deauxma porn flicks. Either that, or she just really wanted to express her appreciation for the young lass's performance on the dodgeball field. But regardless, cops say the buxom gym coach went at it with the 14-year-old girl over and over at various times in Teach's office as well as in a storage closet in the school locker room. (On the bright side, there's absolutely no evidence that any school shithouse was involved in the alleged sexcapades).

To wit, "some of the school's employees reportedly told police that the girl spent an extensive amount of time in De La Garza's office." That's one way of puttin' it, I guess.

And when Teach and the little girl weren't "spending time" in Teach's office (allegedly), they were apparently spending every waking hour of the day on the phone with each other. It never ceases to amaze me how these accused student-bangin' teachers leave these incredible trails of evidence (photos, calls, texts, etc.) of their alleged dirty deeds:

Here that trail would reportedly stretch most of the way around the civilized world, as cops say that the shapely Teach Rebecca exchanged more than 22,000 text messages with her alleged highly underaged lesbian lover. Maybe Teach can pull an Obama AG Eric Holder or former Missouri basketball coach Quin Snyder and claim she was unconscious during all of those communications? Implausible deniability, Baby!

But still the chesty Teach may have to limit her future phone communications to one side of a plexiglass screen, since the Robust Rebecca faces 20 years in the freezer on charges of sexual assault on a child and improper relationship with a student. Not to mention, her alleged lesbian lifestyle may also take a huge hit since they have a rule against babe-on-babe sex in the hoochie hoosegow. Course...

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/news/local/111014-pe-teacher-accused-of-inappropriate-sexual-relationship
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049292/Rebecca-Delagarza-Female-gym-teacher-26-accused-having-sex-GIRL-weekly-basis.html

Top Me Off, Daddy, & Bring Me My Damn Smokes! Two-Year-Old Girl Allegedly Taught Cigarette and Caffeine Habits By Mama...

This wasn't the typical case of the overbearing mom having baby Jane pose with a cigarette and cuppa joe as props for purposes of some dumbass YouTube video. Not only was this shit real (allegedly), but Mama even allegedly took things one step further by fully indoctrinating the two-year-old tot in the filthy habit of cigarette smoking and the adult behavior of coffee-drinking -- rendering Baby fully addicted to both (allegedly)!

Things reportedly headed south for this tokin' toddler when Mama (28-year-old Elena Ursu) and Daddy (30-year-old Gabriel Burulea) got divorced a year ago in Romania. Mama was awarded custody, and all hell allegedly broke loose from there. Daddy says Mama proceeded to teach and encourage the little tike to smoke cigarettes and (what's more) to always enjoy a smoke with a good cup of coffee.

Of course, Mama shot and posted the obligatory YouTube video (pictures above and below) of all this foolishness, but that's to be expected. What's more crazy to me is how Mama allegedly tried to instill cigarette smoking and coffee drinking as positive, habitual behaviors in Baby!

In particular, Daddy says Baby has so taken to her cancer sticks that she becomes quite the nicotine fiend when forced to go without her smokes. Said Daddy: "When I am allowed to visit her I can see that she is so desperate for a cigarette that she even grabs [cigarette butts] and puts them in her mouth. It's sick!

In fact, says Daddy, Baby doesn't seem to be overly interested in much of anything anymore except for her coffin nails and cappuccinos: "Our daughter doesn't want milk -- just coffee -- and instead of sweets she wants cigarettes. It's terrible."

Daddy says Mama's motive in teaching Baby to smoke and drink coffee was to "taunt" Daddy through deliberate mistreatment of Baby. But that little plan may be blowing up in Mama's face like a big blast of secondhand smoke, since Daddy's now suing to get custody. And I can see why. I wouldn't want my child support payments going towards cigarettes and coffee, either.

http://www.iol.co.za/news/back-page/dad-seeks-custody-of-smoking-toddler-1.1156525
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049194/Gabriel-Burulea-taught-daughter-2-smoke-drink-coffee.html

Whatchya Gonna Do, Obama, When One of the Biggest Names in Wrestling Goes Sour on YOU? Hulk Hogan Suggests Obama Take a Flying Leap Off the Turnbuckle

This news had to hit Obama and his minions like a sledgehammer wielded by Triple H. Like a fork right to the forehead from the "Madman from the Sudan," Abdullah the Butcher. Like a giant fireball from the hand of Jerry "The King" Lawler. Like a staple gun blast right to the kisser from "Original Gangsta" New Jack. Like a freight train bump from Rufus R. Jones and a 747 splash from the One Man Gang all rolled into one. And it couldn't have happened to a nicer leftist 20 percenter.

So it is this week that 2008 AD Obama supporter Hulk Hogan has renounced his support, telling Fox News that he's now looking for a new tag team partner from the political realm. (Link and video at bottom). No kayfabe involved nor maintained. Instead, Hogan laid it all out on the line:

Hogan says he's "no longer a fan of the president" because Obama's presided over a regime in which "nothing's happened" over the past three years. (Here I'd beg to differ with the Hulkster -- plenty's happened, which is much of the problem. But I digress...)

We may also need to book a cage match between Hogan and Obama since Hogan appears to have a real bone to pick with the Great One. In particular, Hogan's very clearly pissed that Obama used Hogan's old entrance song ("Real American" -- video below) to make Obama's entrance at the "White House Correspondents' Dinner" (a laughable name for that celebrity event) in late April 2011 AD.

Leaving aside the absurd fact that a sitting American president is using an "entrance song" when appearing at a public event (what's next, His Majesty wearing a robe and a title belt when he gives a speech?) -- Hogan says Obama should have asked Hogan's permission before using "Real American" as Obama's entrance song at the event.

(Interestingly, Hogan refers to "Real American" as "my music" -- therefore requiring Hogan's permission prior to use -- when actually that song was written and performed by Rick Derringer. In fact, the song was initially conceived and used as entrance music for the tag team of Barry Windham and Mike Rotunda. But let's not get too bogged down in pesky little details.)

As for whom Hogan might support now and in 2012 AD? He ain't naming any names, but since he says he's a big proponent of a "flat tax across the board," I'm assuming Hogan may soon be jumpin' aboard the Herman Cain Train and its 9-9-9 Caboose. But even if not, one thing appears certain: Hogan ain't gonna be stinking up Wall Street with anti-Semitic spew and incomprehensible drivel anytime soon. Even he's not that dimwitted!

http://www.politico.com/blogs/click/1011/Obama_loses_Hulk_Hogans_support.html?showall

These Broads'll Give Ya a Tailgate Right in the Mush! Motor City Cops Cry Personal Foul on Lap Dancing Ladies Doing Their Thing in NFL Parking Lot...

These prudish cops ruined a perfect thing. Football tailgating already had it all. You gots booze. You gots eats. You gots smokes. You gots tunz. Sometimes a zany hobo or midget might even stumble by. But this great thing got even better at this week's Monday Night Football game in Detroit, as the "Booty Lounge" rolled into the parking lot to offer up a bit of boobs and bare ass to top off your bratwurst. (Link at bottom)

The "Booty Lounge" mobile strip club hit the Ford Field tailgaiting scene before the Lions/Bears MNF game, charging a paltry 10 bucks for admission onboard right there in the parking lot. The interior of this bazonga bus reportedly had patron seating on one side, and stripper stages (complete with poles) on the other side.

But the fun bags apparently came crashing down like a Ndamukong Suh sack victim once some grouchy parents complained that the Booty ladies might expose little Junior to a little too much pigskin out in the parking lot. So -- despite Detroit having no ordinance against mobile strip clubs -- cops did their best to concoct something, anything, to get the Booty babes' offense off the field.

As a result, cops impounded the peeler party bus -- headlights and all -- based on some unsportsmanlike drivel about failing to comply with state inspection and licensing requirements. Curmudgeons. The injury report: A tailgating Utopia ruined like the buffet at the Harrow Club this morning; a rotten blow to the gut much like a 99-yard kickoff return for a touchdown that gets called back for a damn clip.

Are you happy, Grumpy Gus parents? Did you wake up on gameday and say, "Today, I'm gonna ruin some men's dreams"? But regardless, to the Booty Lounge: Hightail them tailgating hoochie mamas down I-75 and I-70 to Camarohead Stadium in Kansas City. The rig's already the perfect red color, and I got a 10 buck note and a bunch of singles just burnin' a damn hole over here!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2048353/Booty-Lounge-mobile-strip-club-impounded-police-Detroit-Lions-tailgate.html

Forget Liar; Now He's Accused of Being Laggard-In-Chief. No Wonder He Seems to Be So Chummy w/ Fellow DC Insider Boehner Away from the Political Realm

He likes to knock off for the day at 4:00 p.m. That this week from a new article on Obama from the New York Post entitled, "Aimless Obama Walks Alone" (link at bottom). And why wouldn't he hightail it out of there, Fast & Furious like, everyday at 4 and go hit the links? Nothing better for him to be doing, after all, than just some damn pesky presidential work. In a once-great nation spiraling into an economic and monetary abyss.

But it does explain how Obama -- away from political jockeying -- has always seemed to hit it off so well with the so-called speaker of the House and republic partisan John "Party Time" Boehner (who was equally responsible along with his good buddy Barry for S&P's credit downgrade of America a few months back). More specifically...

...It's long been common knowledge in DC that Party Time -- when he's not crying a river, puffing on his smokes, golfing with Obama, or lying in the tanning bed --routinely closes up shop in his House office between 3 and 5 in the afternoon to go hit the nearest happy hour. My oh my -- birds of a fat, lazy feather a' flockin' together!

And these are the two most powerful political figures in the country? Given the current state of things, I guess that pretty well figures. But at least the two of them do have some things in common. Too bad the best interests of the country aren't among them.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/aimless_obama_walks_alone_OUgoMTkORRJioLl7B6ZYmN