What Can I Do to Put You in This Home? Response: "GIVE ME THE DAMN KEYS!" Pushy Squatter Won't Take No for an Answer When It Comes to Dream Home...

He loved the house. And he really wanted to live there. So 43-year-old Pennsylvania resident Frederick Harris (pictured on right) went down the traditional route for house hunting – scheduling a tour of the vacant upscale digs (worth $500,000 to $600,000) with the real estate agent.

But after his tour, Harris apparently wanted an opportunity to take his own little private tour in the near future. He pressed hard for the agent to turn over the joint's keys to him, acting "extremely anxious" to get his grubby little paws on them. But nothin' doing on that front, as the agent broke Harris' half court press at the top of the "key."

And it probably didn't help his efforts that Harris reportedly wore gloves during the April tour. Having been rebuffed at the front door, Harris allegedly took things into his own little gloved hands, since no one (allegedly) was going to keep him from his dream home.

First on the agenda, allegedly, was to ward off other potential buyers of the home: Cops say Harris yanked the "For Sale" right out the home's front yard. But why let a perfectly good real estate sign go to waste?

Instead of tossing it into the rubbish bin as you might expect him to do, Harris allegedly put the sign to constructive use by converting it into a makeshift burglary device. Cops say Harris used the sign to bash in a window at the home and broke in. (And to think, this all could have been averted if that pesky agent had just turned over the damn keys!)

Now was this your typical (alleged) burglary in which Harris was interested in lifting some resalable fixtures from the joint (which was apparently vacant)? Are you crazy? This is the man's dream home (allegedly)!!! Why would he want to damage or defile it?!?

Nope. Harris allegedly did the only thing you would expect of an enamored house hunter: He moved in and took to squattin’ in that crib (allegedly)! Cops says Harris lived in the house as if it was his own for days, stocking up the fridge and parking his Chevy out in the garage. "He basically was making a home there," said the local police chief.

Things reportedly headed south for this loopy home lover when the home's caretaker noticed the car in the garage and the proverbial "strange man" milling around inside the house. Busted! The caretaker called the cops, who entered the home with one of those bloodhound sniff dogs, named Argos.

Apparently trying to put the pooch and the cops off his scent, Harris allegedly hit the button to open the garage door – I'm presuming in hopes that Argos and his blue masters would scurry out the joint thinking that Harris had escaped. But regardless of what you think of cops in general, they typically aren't stupid.

They didn't go for Harris' apparent little attempt at subterfuge (Winston Wolf, this dude was not) and looked to secure the house before looking into the possibility that Harris had fled. Argos and the cops reportedly found Harris huddled down inside the shithouse. No word whether he had his gloves on at the time.

Harris' story to the cops was pretty garden variety – said he had a right to be there and that he was "working" with the real estate agent to possibly buy the house. Well, Harris ain't buying this house, and cops weren't buying his line a' bullshit (allegedly).

Now Harris "has been removed to a more Spartan home: the Westmoreland County Prison," facing charges of burglary, criminal trespass and criminal mischief.

Meantime local cops are apparently baffled by the whole incident. The aforementioned police chief, Thomas Seefeld, candidly revealed to the media that this is a very "unusual case."

But the revelations did not stop there. Providing an insider's glimpse into the way the cops really view this case, Seefeld added: "Usually people pay money when they buy a home and move in."

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/pittsburgh/s_731217.html#

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11099/1138173-59.stm

On Same Weekend as Debut of "Khloe and Lamar," a New Polls Says 46% of Mississippi GOP Rednecks Wants to Ban Interracial Marriages. Can We Ban THEM?

I don't call it the Shithouse State for nothing! And how fitting (and I would assume by the pollster's design): On the same weekend that the new reality series of married couple Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom debuts on E! (first link at bottom), there's word of this new "Public Policy Polling" poll that found that a whopping 46% of Mississippi republicans would like to ban interracial marriages (second link at bottom).

And if that many actually admit having such an ugly opinion, then how much higher must the real number be?!? Indeed, a supermajority of 60% of those same republicans are unable to say that they approve of interracial marriages (40% say they do, while 14% claim to be "unsure," with the aforementioned 46% being opposed).

I wonder what outgoing Mississippi governor and likely GOP presidential candidate Haley Barbour (pictured above in all his white redneck glory) thinks about this issue? I mean what does he honestly think, since he'd obviously say he doesn't oppose interracial marriage (presumably, anyway). Not knowing the redneck, I won't pronounce judgment. But I can guess.

But let's not cast all of the white shadow, for lack of a better phrase, upon the deranged right-wingers. I have little doubt that plenty (if not as many) white redneck Mississippi democrat party members also oppose interracial marriage. This is a former bastion of the Klu Klux Klan, after all, which was historically very entrenched with the democrat party in the Deep South (are you supposed to capitalize that phrase, BTW? I'd actually prefer not to).

Someone should tell these backward, backwoods Dixie goofwads that this ain't 1950 anymore. I have to think a race-based ban on marriage would be blatantly unconstitutional and struck down almost immediately (federal courts tend to be like that when it comes to treating people differently based upon race).

Moreover, in this day and age, just what in the hell is an "interracial" marriage? If a person is 1/8 African ancestry, for example, would that mean he/she couldn't marry a WASP? What about Jewish people, who are often referred to by right-wing extremists as being a different "race"? Would the Mississippians lump them into the equation too? What about me? I have a lot of Irish in me, which doesn't exactly fall within the neo-Nazi definition of "racial purity." Does that mean a white guy like me can't marry a white woman?

Good grief, whom could I marry under a Mississippi interracial marriage ban? A farm animal, maybe? Actually, that at least I know is something to which they are most hospitable down in the ol' Hospitality State. A little Animal Love amongst the Magnolias!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1375552/Khloe-Kardashians-husband-Lamar-Odom-My-father-heroin-addict.html
http://www.aolnews.com/2011/04/08/46-percent-of-mississippi-republicans-want-interracial-marriage/

Charlie Sheen Fails to "Win" Over the Big Apple, "Stinks Up Radio City Music Hall Like a Flatulent Goddess"!

They booed him. They jeered him. They sent him scurrying offstage like a New York City sewer rat only halfway through his show this weekend. " 'F--k you, Charlie,' a row of young men chanted after Sheen sprinted from the theater."

This was the latest stop in Sheen's infamous "Violent Torpedo of Truth" road tour, which has now seen Sheen stink up joints from Detroit to the Empire State. But this one apparently took ROTTEN to a whole new Extreme. (Links to full story at bottom).

Sheen reportedly got off on the wrong foot with the less-than-capacity Hall audience before he even arrived, as he didn't bother to even show up on time (30 minutes late). Then, when he finally arrived onstage, his first words to the audience were incoherent drivel that no one understood – "Hey Mrs. Farmer – suck it!" It only went downhill from there.

The show consisted of Sheen being "interviewed" by some friend, all the while chain-smoking "like a criminal" despite NYC's anti-smoking laws. He reportedly rambled on and on about his wealth and every hotel he's ever stayed in, and he told profanity-laced stories about his many wild cocaine-and-hookers-infested parties. For good measure, Sheen insulted and took shots at various Hollywood types, including his own brother, Emilio Estevez.

The only problem? None of it was funny. And worse yet, the audience was thoroughly bored. The jeers and catcalls began early on, and they only picked up momentum as the minutes ticked slowly by. But instead of picking up his performance, Sheen simply snapped back at the audience: "The audience jeered him, and he cussed back at them for not listening closely."

It might have helped if Sheen had more featured his two slutty girlfriends in the show – porn star Bree Olson (a.k.a. Rachel Oberlin) and pot magazine model Natalie Kenly. But alas, they made only a brief appearance onstage to say hi. Opportunity missed.

Finally, 45 minutes into the "incoherent snooze-fest . . . Charlie abruptly ran out of gas [and] stopped talking. Sheen sat onstage, smoking silently." With the boos reaching epic levels, Sheen did his audience the biggest favor of the night and "ran from the stage like a scared felon ahead of a lynch mob." But by that point, much of the crowd wasn't even around anymore to chase after Sheen.

Reading the various media and audience accounts of this raunchy event, I'm left to think of those television ads for new movies that have just come out. You know: "Joe Blow gives a riveting performance, raves Entertainment Weekly; a big thumbs up, says Roger Ebert; the laughs never stop coming, shouts Rolling Stone…." Those ads are usually highly misleading because they use only the most glowing of the film's reviews.

Well, Sheen's little road show now has a whole host of such material from which to draw – at least if he wants to make a Bizarro-World promotional ad. Check out this sampling of media and audience opinions:

-"The worst show I've ever seen in my life."

-"This is worse than Chernobyl!"

-"It was an atrocity!"

-"A shit-show."

-"An aimless and slovenly disaster."

-"His hecklers are funnier than he is."

-"I got kicked out once. I snuck back in and he sucked both times."

-"I thought it'd be fun. Turns out not so much."

-"I felt like I was watching Charlie Sheen dying on stage."

-"Dribbled-out, half-baked ramblings."

-"I didn't get one honest laugh."

-"Not worth the money."

-"He didn't provide entertainment; No bang for the buck."

-"His most coherent message is how much money he has."

-"Torpedo of Truth turned out to be a real bomb."

-"He didn't quite give a 'winning' performance."

-"Sheen seemed like he'd prefer to be asleep."

-"His pop references are weirdly stuck in time."

-"He's still stuck in that 80's idea."

-"As rebellious as a diary entry by Donald Trump."

-"I've had better conversations with crackheads."

-"Rambling stories about his life that were long on profanity, but short on amusement."

-"He was boring. He had nothing to say."

-"Sheen doesn't have any jokes!"

-"He has the mind of a 12-year-old."

-"Charlie, you suck! You should have kept your day job."

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/charlie_losing_xLahPtH37ntkYfKr8MSzxH

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/fans_tell_sheen_to_kiss_off_ZLQ9lf1m1ClSvS4Uucz5aI

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/04/08/charlie-sheen-brings-violent-torpedo-of-truth-to-manhattan/#

http://www.showbiz411.com/2011/04/09/charlie-sheen-at-radio-city-audience-boos-he-smokes

http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/04/09/charlie-sheen-at-radio-city-hes-losing/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1375105/Charlie-Sheen-heckled-booed-New-York-stage-turns-sour.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

Gov't Shutdown Averted; Parties Reach Agreement on Budget For Now: I Don't Think Either Side Really Won, Although GOP Likely Avoided the Biggest Loss.

The news came down in the past few hours that GOP and democrat party congressional leaders reached an agreement on the 2011 budget at the last minute to avoid a government shutdown. Both sides will spin and declare a victory this weekend, but don't believe them.

I wouldn't call either side a clear winner here. Both parties appear to have taken a hit in the polls (the republicans the bigger hit) for letting things get so close to the deadline. The democrat party didn't want to cut anything in the budget, yet appears to have given and given, and conceded and conceded, a huge amount throughout this process to the republican's budget cut demands.

But republicans had wanted (and had campaigned on) cutting at least $60 billion from this budget, while the agreement is only for $40 billion. So the republicans gave plenty of way too.

Also some of these apparently policy-based aspects of what the republicans wanted (some more based on right-winger social policy than a sincere interest in cutting the budget in my opinion) -- such as defunding "Planned Parenthood" -- went by the wayside, representing a small victory for the democrat party (a small victory since the democrat party traded a concession of allowing such a measure to come to a vote in the Senate, which they otherwise would have blocked).

BTW, if the republicans had shut down the government over "Planned Parenthood" funding (funding that neither I nor many Independents could give a rat's ass about one way or the other), I would have been very critical and it likely would have been disastrous for the republicans. Abortion is a largely a right vs. left pissing match issue that the average American, while perhaps having an opinion on the issue, just says "yawn" to as right-winger social conservatives and 20 percenter leftists fight endlessly about it.

And here's the reason why I say that while there's no clear winner here, the republicans appear to be the ones who avoided the biggest loss: All indications to me, from polling data and myriad instances of conventional political wisdom from various pundits on both sides, are that a shutdown -- for whatever reasons -- would have been blamed much more on the republicans by the majority of the American public.

That's how it went down in 1995, and while today is much different from 1995, a lot of the same dynamic remains: The majority of the public doesn't want something so drastic as a government shutdown to occur if the democrat party is willing to go a majority of the way that the House republicans are looking for in terms of budget and/or governmental cuts.

For that reason, I have little doubt that plenty of 20 percenter leftists out there really wanted a shutdown to occur and are disappointed that it didn't. As well, plenty of the leftists are very clearly disappointed in how much their party conceded in the way of budget cuts.

I think House Speaker John "Party Time" Boehner actually in all likelihood did a fairly effective job here in bleeding just as many budget concessions as he could from the democrat party right up to the deadline, but still not taking things to a shutdown. My guess is that the general pundits' reviews of his performance this weekend (if not from the deranged right-winger tea partiers) will be fairly positive.

Finally, and purely political analysis aside, I think my own personal views on current budget and debt issues have been well alluded to previously in this space: We have a $14.2 Trillion national debt which only continues to grow. Unless we have a serious effort and plan to reduce that debt through our annual budgets and deficits, that debt will completely run this country into the ground within a matter of years, if not sooner. Them's just facts, regardless of your political persuasion.

Some (although truth be told, not very many) in the republican party have a serious conviction towards tackling that debt. Congressman Paul Ryan is one of those few republicans, and he's put forth a plan. Leftist 20 percenters criticize various aspects of that plan incessantly as being "extreme" and "draconian" -- as predictable as the morning sunrise.

And while some if not many of those criticisms may actually have some small or even pretty decent merit, they still largely fall on deaf ears with me, since the democrat party has no alternative plan. So if cut or reform X, Y or Z is so "extreme" and "draconian", then what do they propose as an alternative cut? Entertain me. Hell, in some or many instances, I might agree to the alternative!

But the leftist 20 percenters have none, and frankly likely won't in the future. Because their world view is devoted to growing spending and the size of the federal government just as much as they can possibly get away with -- with any necessary "reigning in" of the national debt coming through redistributions of wealth and taxing the holy hell out of the wealthy and raising taxes as much as possible on everyone else as well. The phrase "tax and spend" may be cliched and stereotypical, but you know why most cliches and stereotypes arise, don't you? Out of a whole hell of a lot of truth.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_spending_showdown

Don't Like These Huge Gas Prices? Tough It. Obama Tells You to "Trade In" Your SUV For Something Different. Nice Dude.

A most compassionate hypocrite 20 percenter leftist. And for good measure, he identifies with us: He says he remembers pumping his own gas once. (Links to full story at bottom). Imagine how he'd react if you raised any other complaints with him. If he'd be willing to take six questions from the American people (random questions, as opposed to people recruited by the democrat party apparatus), it might go something like this:

1. Question: Mr. President, how would you address Americans' concerns with rapidly inflating food prices that have followed your policy of having the Fed print a bunch of new money to pay off federal government debt?

Obama: "Not my problem. But try doing all your grocery shopping at Aldi. I've been told you save a lot of money that way. OR, Michelle would tell you to just eat less. I remember once only getting 10 crackers with my caviar."

2. Question: Mr. President, it seems like my energy bills have been going up a lot, both gas and electricity. What say you?

Obama: "Not my problem. But while it's still cooler, try turning down that thermostat to around 50 degrees. And put on a sweater while you're at it. This summer, get those windows open and whip out those lawn chairs on the front porch. And remember, it's always an option to sleep in your backyard if it's too hot in the house. I remember sweating once on a basketball court."

3. Question: Mr. President, my water bills have been going through the roof!

Obama: "Not my problem. But are you bathing once a day? Well, stop it. Once a week should tide you over. And Michelle says to cut down on your salt intake so that you're not drinking so damn much water and having to flush the toilet after pissing all the time. And three words: Outdoor Shithouse. I once saw one of those in a book."

4. Question: Mr. President, even basic clothing items having been going up in price a lot. It's tough out here.

Obama: "Not my problem. But you need to realize that clothing ain't exactly what you'd call a basic necessity. Try going around in the buff. Or at least utilize a loincloth. And if we could just get a lot more of you people shopping at thrift shops, we'd all be a lot better off for it. I remember driving past a thrift shop once."

5. Question: Mr. President, my home furniture is so 1997 and it's falling apart, but I've been priced right out of the new furniture market with all of this current inflation.

Obama: "Not my problem. But I'd first suggest you burn that old furniture in a fireplace or in a big barrel. Then huddle around it and save on that heat bill you people were complaining about. And second, multi-task with those lawn chairs. There's no law saying you can't use those in the house as well as on the front porch. At least not yet. And I've been told that you can combine a couple of sawhorses with some 2X4's to craft a makeshift kitchen table. I once saw Jimmy Carter on TV hammering some nails into a 2X4."

6. Question: Mr. President, I took your advice and traded in my SUV for a Smart Car, but these gas prices are still killing me!

Obama: "Not my problem. But where does it say in the antiquated American constitution that you have a right to own a car? Sell that Smart Car and you'll have enough money to go around using public transportation for at least a decade! And I'm one of you: I know a ton about buses and telling enemies to go to the back of them."

http://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-williamsburg-mayor-president-obama-coming-to-visit-this-weekend-20110406,0,6881733.story http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2011/04/06/obama_i_remember_what_it_was_like_to_pump_gas.html

Nine-Year-Olds Allowed to Feel Up Fake Breasts at a Virginia Elementary School! Was Larry David Involved in This One?

This story reminds me of Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and the episode (video at bottom) in which his wife accuses him of being "obsessed with t*ts" after he yells out "TITMOUSE" and jumps on a counter at the sight of a common house mouse. The wife's accusation also followed earlier behavior in which Larry was talking to young kids about "t*ts" and "feeling up" another woman's "t*ts" -- both of which he had an explanation for, BTW.

Maybe Larry's twin is running around doing boob jobs in Henrico, Virginia, since the linked story describes a local plastic surgeon who was supposed to be making an innocent presentation about plastic surgery, but instead let nine-year-olds feel up some fake breasts last week at the Shady Grove Elementary School as a part of "career day."

No, the fake boobs were not attached to a woman at the time, but that reportedly didn't stop the little kids from having a good time fondling the breast implants offered up by the surgeon in what's being described as an impromptu session of "show and tell." Students are reportedly trying to defend this little grope session, calling it "informative." Yep, that would be one way of putting it.

Meantime some parents are reportedly "angry" and "demanding answers" because they (as the linked story puts it) "feel things went a bit too far" and "sent the wrong message." Gee, ya think?!?

The angry parents have also reportedly been making a lot of noise on Facebook concerning the incident. Said one of them: "I'm still shocked and appalled that my 9-year-old saw and touched a breast." Another parent just wanted some advance notice of the breast lesson, which apparently would have made it OK ("That should have been discussed before presenting to the children").

Other comments from the mad parents were equally entertaining, conjuring up for me the old phrase, "no $hit, Sherlock." Said one parent: "Career day sure isn't what it once was." Another parent said she was "thankful her daughter missed career day this year." Said another: "I think they're a little young to be having this discussion."

At least one mother, however, was reportedly unconcerned that her little boy had touched a fake can at school: "I think if he was talking about it in the medical sense and trying to explain to him that sometimes this happens to people then I'm comfortable with that."

I have to concur: It's never too young to teach nine-year-olds the important lessons in life, such as the fact that not every broad's rack is real. Put that one right up there with the multiplication table and the color wheel.

As for the good doctor, he was reportedly unavailable for comment on the story and wouldn't answer his phone. Maybe he was hiding in a closet after seeing a titmouse?

http://www.nbc12.com/story/14391026/elementary-students-feel-breast-implants

High Entertainment: Leftist 20 Percenter Nutjobs Beat the Hell Out of EACH OTHER Over an Obama Hitler Sign! They Really Need to Show More Civility.

So this is how they carry on in the new so-called age of civility that they called for after the Arizona massacre? Cops in the Land of San Fran Nan – one of the few places in the country that would actually vote the former Creature of the House into office – say that a male follower of left-wing wacko Lyndon LaRouche just wanted to set up a table out in public to pass out political "literature" when all hell broke loose this week in San Francisco.

The only problem? This left-wing freak also sported one of the LaRouche cult's infamous Obama Hitler signs (LaRouche opposes Obama for various assorted nutty reasons). Dumb move, particularly in one of the most radical left metropolitan areas this side of Stalin's memory.

Cops say some left-wing thugs (a man and a woman), with dogs in tow, yanked the sign from the LaRouche follower's grubby little hands, tore it up in his face and started rocking his table around. That's called "civil" with a capital S (as in Slime).

[We know they were left-wing thugs, BTW, because there's only one deranged right-winger in all of San Francisco – radio talk show host Michael Savage – and he was busy grooming his dog Teddy at the time. Not to mention, I can't see deranged right-wingers ever tearing up an Obama Hitler sign. Hell, they'd want to steal it for their own use!]

But I digress. These two left-wing lunatics weren't satisfied with just ripping up the Obama Hitler sign. The next thing you know, these 20 percenter kooks were pounding their boots right into the LaRouche-ite's above-referenced grubby little hand!

Then the cowardly leftist duo scurried away like a couple of rats before cops could arrive. No arrests yet. Truth be told: Can't we all just get along, leftist 20 percenters? Stop disturbing the damn peace, you brutes!

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2011/04/05/man-with-obama-sign-attacked-in-san-francisco/

What's with Some New Yorkers? When It's Not Horse Head or Dead Fish Messages, They're Hacking Off an Animal's Hoof to Send in the Mail as a Warning!!

We've seen this scene repeated over and over through recent history in the Empire State. First we saw fast-talking, bombastic Hollywood film producer Jack Woltz and his prized $600,000 race horse Khartoum, whom Woltz decided not to race and instead put him out to stud.

Then some deranged mob boss with cotton balls in his jowls (half a continent away in New York) had the beloved Khartoum beheaded, with the old nag's melon mysteriously showing up under Woltz's bed covers (making for quite the 6 a.m. wake-up call, BTW). All that just because the brash Woltz was not a man in a position to be made to look ridiculous. He ain't no band leader, after all.

Next it was the curious case of one Luca Brasi (he lived on the second floor, but wasn't a second story guy). Always a New York muscle man (and quite the pro wrestler under the moniker of The Zebra Kid) and never known for his flaming wit, the "scary guy" was nevertheless enlisted by the supposedly wise Don to go undercover and pull a con job on the murderous Tattaglia brothers.

Seeing right through Brasi's subterfuge (couldn't see that coming), the Tattaglias promptly pinned Brasi's hand to a bar counter with a knife and guillotined the life right out of the fat man from behind. After tossing Brasi's obese hide in the East River, the brazen brothers sent the Don a Sicilian message: A couple of dead fish wrapped inside Luca's bulletproof vest. The warning imparted: "Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."

But that wasn't the end of the animal abuse. In the decades that followed, Queens resident Tommy DeVito and his friends hit a deer one night on the New Jersey Turnpike. The poor animal got stuck in the car's grill, resulting in a late night visit to the home of Tommy's mama, Catherine Scorsese.

Tommy needed to borrow a giant butcher knife to hack off the deer's hoof (or is it a paw?) and get it the hell out of the car grill. While one man looked one way, and the other man looked the other way, Tommy BTW drafted the big butcher knife into double duty, using it to polish off made man Billy Batts, who just happened to be resting for a spell in the car's trunk. That's when Tommy's BF Henry knew he'd gone from rags to riches (or not).

All of that background now exhaustively detailed, we get to today's news (talk about a NON-inverted pyramid) involving some slimeball hacking off a pig hoof (or is it a paw? foot?) and sending the bloody appendage through first class U.S. mail to one New York U.S. representative and republican Peter King (link to full story at bottom).

King in March led the controversial congressional hearings on the development of radicals within the Muslim-American community, giving people antagonistic to those hearings a motive to pull off the hog hack job that was posted to King.

The very latest tonight is that a note accompanying the swine hoof "contained anti-Semetic ramblings" and "referenced" the hearings, which would appear to make it quite possible that this Perhaps Meccan Message came from none other than some demented individual within the American Muslim community.

But that didn't stop the Council on American-Islamic Relations from actually trying to blame the sloven bloody slab on some right-wing extremist accidentally sending the "message" to the wrong target, i.e. King:

"My guess is it was an anti-Muslim bigot, and bigots not being brain surgeons they probably got their signals crossed," said some braintrust called Ibrahim Hooper (any relation to Tobe or Sonney?) from the Council. Well, bigots aren't the only ones limited in their brain surgery propensities, Mr. Hooper.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31727_162-20050620-10391695.html

[Postscript: If you were expecting me to use this space today to weigh in on the University of Missouri's shockingly disappointing hiring of some person named Harth or Haith or Faith or whatever from Miami to be Mediocrity University's new head basketball coach, then look somewhere else. After years of being a fan who feels like a snake bite victim caught in an endless loop, I am now done with Missouri sports. Life's way too short.]