Friday, February 10, 2012
New Study Finds (1) Online Dating & (2) Meeting Through Friends Now Most Popular Ways to Start Relationship: BOR-ING, & So Much for Bars & Phonebooks!
I'm from the old school. If you want to meet some broads and start up a relationship that's worth lasting, you don't get on a computer or rely on others. Make your own path: Hit the bars! And if that doesn't work: Hit the bars again!
And that ain't even the only option. I'd advise any young punk to try some of the following stuff before ever resorting to Match.com or depending on some other person to set you up. Nearly any of my 10 suggestions are preferable to any of that dorky shit:
-Meet a broad while you're sloshed down at the end of the bar. Maybe she'll feel sorry for ya.
-Meet her while she and/or you are blitzed out on the street after the bar closes.
-Try "accidentally" wandering into the ladies' shitter at the bar and striking up a conversation.
-Or if you're in the men's shithouse, scribble down and call some of those phone numbers from the stall wall. Ask yourself, whatdaya gots to lose?
-Tell the dame that the bartender has sent you over to get her number, and then later call the number yourself.
-Try working the bar with a pocket full a' corny pick-up lines ("I'm clairvoyant, I bet your number ends with a '10'"; "Last time I saw a face like yours, Mario Lopez was sticking a crown on top of it"). Since such lines have become largely discouraged and disfavored in modern times, you may just catch the little number off-guard over there.
-Sound out the skirt's political persuasion, and then start spouting a bunch of the appropriate partisan bullshit. (If she calls herself a "moderate" or apolitical, then just use a bunch of mush-mouth -- e.g. "I think I could either way on that one"; "I think both sides raise a good point").
-As an alternative to the above-referenced street routine, when the bar closes tell the chick: "I've lost my keys, my phone's outta battery, my friends are gone, and I gots no way a' gettin' home, babe." (And if necessary: You also have to get up "super early" for work).
And even the bar's not the only viable option:
-If really desperate, open up the phone book and just start cold-calling.
-Finally, two words: Grocery Store.