Thursday, February 9, 2012
No Fish Story: Teacher Spawns Big Stench After Spraying "Fish-Smelling" 10-Year-Old Boy with a Damn Bottle of Air Freshener!
There's something fishy going on here. A grade school teacher in Canada has been slapped with a suspension for choosing to fish instead of cutting bait and "trying to mask the smell of fish on a young student by spraying him with Febreze" (links at bottom). The kid's old lady raised one hell of a stink over the incident, which now has the sleepy little island town of Twillingate, Newfoundland more buzzbaited than a pack of Friday night fish fry patrons in Nebraska.
This story started crooked as a barrel of fishhooks, with the local elementary school serving fried fish to the kids one day last week. The putrid-smelling little punk reportedly came out that mess hall and started really stinkin' up the joint with the foul stench of fish. BTW, the precise connection between eating fish and having one's entire person then smelling like a big dead fish is not entirely clear from the linked stories.
Regardless, according to his old lady (named Patti Rideout; pictured below), this little stinkpot reportedly stunk so bad that he couldn't even fish for a compliment from classmates, who swarmed like a school of fish and gave the kid the business something real bad over his foul odor. So Teach first reportedly made Fish Boy stand out in the hall for an hour in an apparent attempt to give the stench an opportunity to dissipate.
But with nothing doin' on that front, reportedly, Teach then took the next logical step and tried to fumigate the malodorous little man with a big can of air freshener! And while it wasn't a can of RAID that was utilized, the kid's above-pictured old lady has opened up a whole can of worms by complaining to the school that her little shit was treated like a fish out of water and was "embarrassed, bullied and [treated] disgracefully."
"I think my son was not treated like a human being - I think he was treated like a dog or a cat," crowed the fumin' Mama. Now while I might agree that this fish-rot tot was more or less treated like a shithouse, what kind of a person would spray a dog or cat with Febreze? That would be animal cruelty. And a little tike ain't no damn animal. So methinks Mama overstates her case a bit here.
But the school apparently doesn't agree and has now sent Teach on her own little fishing expedition, a/k/a home suspension. Still, though, Mama is playin' the cold fish, saying she ain't satisfied -- neither fish nor fowl -- and will not be fully satisfied until Teach both (1) says Teach is sorry and (2) gets the hook straight to the unemployment line! Yeah, hand the broad her pink fish right in the middle of awful economic times. A damn fine kettle of fish that would be.