What's worse? Getting busted by a high-speed paintball right in the jowels or having your fake bust busted instead? I'm posing this inquiring to a 26-year-old British woman who just experienced such a rack impact this week. At least the other fake knocker is still intact.
In what's being described as an "unusual risk" attendant to playing paintball, the woman's fake jug reportedly "exploded after she was hit in the chest by a paintball, which can travel at 190 mph." (Link to full story at bottom)
The incident is thought to be a "first of its kind" -- at least on the other side of the pond -- although it come on the heels of another European story previously covered in this space concerning a snake that died after puncturing a woman's fake boobie with its fang and swallerin' a big snout full a' silicon (pic below/link at bottom). Bad thing for a snake.
As for the paintball broad, she had to seek medical treatment and is reportedly resting herself and her collapsed balcony at home this weekend. I just hope some slippery serpeant doesn't come calling for the other fake fun bag.
Meantime the "UK Paintball" association says it's all over this case like a tight bra on a big set of fake melons. The organization's website is imploring all future paintball participants to fess up if they have fake cans so that they can "be given special information on the dangers of paintballing with enhanced boobs and [they'll be asked] to sign a disclaimer."
They'll also be getting some special bosom armor, as the organization promises to "issue extra padding to protect your implants while paintballing."
The British incident has also apparently caused new concerns that some woman view their fake honkers as some sort of indestructible cushion against everything the world might throw at them. This follows a shooting victim in Cali whose "implant kept the bullet fragments from reaching her heart and vital organs." But don't be fooled, experts say -- just ask the babe in Britain.
And as one firearms instructor with the LAPD advised: "I don't want to say a boob job is the equivalent of a bulletproof vest. So don't go getting breast enhancements as a means to deflect a possible incoming bullet."
Fair enough. But how are the fake dirty pillows at deflecting sword thrusts and railroad spike stabbings? That, seems to me, is the real question here.
Regardless, the notorious LA Times says there is a "moral of this story": "If you absolutely have to get breast implants, avoid any potentially high-impact activities." So paintball's out. But what if the fake bazongas do windows?
Posts
