Monday, September 26, 2011

He Was a Real Pig, She Said: Florida Woman Allegedly Whacks Out Her Old Man & Buries Him in a Pig Sty, Then Celebrates His Departure on Facebook!

She tried to put lipstick on this stinking, rotten pig of an event, but nothing doin' (allegedly), as she now faces second-degree murder charges. Cops in Melbourne, Florida say that 4o-year-old Jennifer Lynn Hearn (pictured above) wasn't exactly telling the full-boar's story recently when she claimed on Facebook that her hubby had left her and that, "I love being single!"

Cops say Hearn rubbed out her out man with a gun during an argument and then tried to give him a highly improper burial -- in a damn pig sty! Specifically, Hearn allegedly dragged the supposed swine's ass out to her hog pen and put him in the ground two feet under all that muck and mire. No word whether he was buried porkbelly down or up.

But man, that stinks. Someone should tell this broad that funeral parlors, undertakers and graveyards ain't going outta style anytime soon. USE THEM for cryin' out loud! What's next -- burying the old man under the city trash dump?!?

Regardless, Hearn's pig-headed response to her old man's demise allegedly went from bad to worse when she hit the ol' online social networking world a little later. She reportedly started bragging it up to the men online that the old man had left her and that she was now more officially up for grabs than Milner on Graffiti I!

In addition to squealing to the world her love for being "single again," Hearn also allegedly posted on Facebook the following: "WOW. I am so glad one person walked out of my life so others could walk in."

And why, pray tell, would any man ever want to do that? In order to see a pig sty up close and personal and learn a whole new meaning to the phrase, "pig out." When pig's fly, maybe.

Just for good and measure, Hearn allegedly laid the pig slop on real thick on Facebook, wallowing around and additionally claiming that that her old man had left her "high and dry" by moving out. High and dry? More like low and cold out in the pig pen (allegedly).