Monday, September 26, 2011

He Was a Real Pig, She Said: Florida Woman Allegedly Whacks Out Her Old Man & Buries Him in a Pig Sty, Then Celebrates His Departure on Facebook!


She tried to put lipstick on this stinking, rotten pig of an event, but nothing doin' (allegedly), as she now faces second-degree murder charges. Cops in Melbourne, Florida say that 4o-year-old Jennifer Lynn Hearn (pictured above) wasn't exactly telling the full-boar's story recently when she claimed on Facebook that her hubby had left her and that, "I love being single!"

Cops say Hearn rubbed out her out man with a gun during an argument and then tried to give him a highly improper burial -- in a damn pig sty! Specifically, Hearn allegedly dragged the supposed swine's ass out to her hog pen and put him in the ground two feet under all that muck and mire. No word whether he was buried porkbelly down or up.

But man, that stinks. Someone should tell this broad that funeral parlors, undertakers and graveyards ain't going outta style anytime soon. USE THEM for cryin' out loud! What's next -- burying the old man under the city trash dump?!?

Regardless, Hearn's pig-headed response to her old man's demise allegedly went from bad to worse when she hit the ol' online social networking world a little later. She reportedly started bragging it up to the men online that the old man had left her and that she was now more officially up for grabs than Milner on Graffiti I!

In addition to squealing to the world her love for being "single again," Hearn also allegedly posted on Facebook the following: "WOW. I am so glad one person walked out of my life so others could walk in."

And why, pray tell, would any man ever want to do that? In order to see a pig sty up close and personal and learn a whole new meaning to the phrase, "pig out." When pig's fly, maybe.

Just for good and measure, Hearn allegedly laid the pig slop on real thick on Facebook, wallowing around and additionally claiming that that her old man had left her "high and dry" by moving out. High and dry? More like low and cold out in the pig pen (allegedly).

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2041580/Woman-charged-killing-husband-buried-hog-pen-posting-Facebook.html

9 comments:

  1. Postscript: Damn pesky typos. Just saw the top said "Pig Stay" instead of "Sty" all day long. It's the worst part of a keyboard -- the mind works faster than the fingers, not to mention faster oftentimes than the eyes, when proofreading. I just move too damn fast!

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  2. That woman is SCARY! And, hey, aren't pigs known for eating humans?? Wasn't that in a movie once upon a time? I think it was in "Snatch"....not that I would wish that upon the recently deceased....just a morbid question from me, I guess =)

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  3. I think that used to happen on the HBO series "Deadwood." The local tough guy would whack people out and then have a Chinese guy throw the bodies in a pig sty to be eaten. I seem to recall that.

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  4. I've never watched Deadwood.....tried to, but it seemed like the dialogue was just a stream of profanities and I couldn't follow what they were actually trying to say. C***sucker was WAY overused in the one episode I tried to watch....there's plenty of good curse words, I mean, spread the wealth! It got great reviews and won awards, but I just couldn't get into it..

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  5. Deadwood might be one of those HBO shows (sort of like The Wire) that you have to watch from the start (or from the start of a season) or else everything just seems like a bunch of gibberish. I had the same experience with Season 1 of The Wire.

    Co*ksucker was almost like a running joke on the show. They reveled in over using it. And I laughed at your line, "it seemed like the dialogue was just a stream of profanities and I couldn't follow what they were actually trying to say." You know what: Even those of us who watched it from the start often had trouble making out the meaning of much of the dialogue! But that made the show fairly unique that way.

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  6. Glad I could make you laugh =) AND, glad I wasn't alone in having trouble following the story - I'm not a complete loser, YAY! =)

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  7. I kind of got away from the series when there was a fight out on Main Street and a guy's eye got popped out.

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  8. Yep, that'd pretty much do it for me too. Hilarious!

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  9. That, and the pig sty being a place to throw dead people to be eaten.

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