We've recently been blitzed with tales of how the rotten economy in Obama's America has really taken a bite out of the criminal element's ability to operate and get a little piece of the action. And now, reportedly, the economic strife and distress has even spread to the hobo crowd.
Apparently unable to even afford a cheap dive on a night when they felt like sleeping in a bed for a change, two tramps in Bristol, Tennessee got a rather sickening slumber on in a couple of coffins after allegedly breaking into a local funeral parlor this week (links to full story at bottom).
And these lazy bums even had the gall to sleep in! (Allegedly). When undertakers arrived to work at the joint on Tuesday morning, they reportedly found the two lying loafers still "peacefully asleep" in the caskets at 10:30 in the damn morning! Hobo dissipation. Not cool.
When the two startled vagrants got wind that the police had been called, they allegedly moved faster than a pallbearer in need of Number One -- jumping out the funeral parlor's nearest window.
One escaped, one didn't. And the one who got caught may for the foreseeable future be getting a permanent bed (free of burial charge) in the local hoosegow.
That's because the two vagabonds allegedly caused almost 10,000 bucks in damage to the two pine drapes in which they were bunking out. That means burglary and vandalism charges, boys. Talk about one sorry sarcophagus.
http://www.wlsam.com//Article.asp?id=2268744
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029519/Funeral-home-staffs-shock-finding-intruders-peacefully-asleep-COFFINS.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
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$10,000 damage to two coffins?! How much frickin' money were the dang things worth, I ask you? Holy cow....it costs alot to die, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteAn exchange from late 80's wrestling between announcers Jim Ross and Jim Cornette illustrates that point.
ReplyDeleteRoss (referring to an arrogant wrestler): "He's more pompous than an undertaker at a $10,000 funeral."
Cornette (punking Ross for the dated nature of the cited dollar figure): "Don't they all cost that much?"
Dying is very expensive. Sounds like coffins are kind of like cars: One little nick or scrape, and you're talking thousands of dollars of damage down at the body shop. They oughta just go back to wooden boxes like Clint Eastwood used to fill up in the old spaghetti westerns.
It's all just going in the ground anyway....seems like a big racket to me. Think I'll just be cremated and have my kids take the $10,000 and fly me to some exotic locale and spread my ashes there...a fun time for them and better memories than seeing me in a coffin, ya know?? But I plan on living to the ripe old age of 100 so, it'll be awhile =)
ReplyDeleteI don't care where they deposit my ashes as long as it's not a Mississippi shithouse.
ReplyDelete