I need to get into sales. But I'd probably have to learn German. This after a German insurance company provided free prostitutes to its top salesmen. (But only the very top earners got the real pick of the litter -- read on...)Contrast that with Workplace Hell here in the States: A bar owner in Virginia faces a bevy of criminal charges for allegedly (and repeatedly) attacking his barmaids with a horse riding crop! And that wasn't even the close to being the worst of it...
Working on Commission Never Seemed So Appealing
It's a bit like living in the mob. There, you either earn or you get whacked out or something. Similar principle in sales: Either you sell or you don't eat. And think how much extra motivation you'd have if, on top of your commission, there was a free hooker waiting for you at the end of the year. Sort of a Hoe Bonus, you might say. And there was nothing hobo about it.
And that's exactly what German insurance company "Munich Re" reportedly added to its little package of salesmen benefits in the late 2000's (link to full story at bottom). Specifically, the company threw a big hooker "orgy" party for its 100 top salesmen in Budapest, Hungary.
The only problem? Sloppy seconds (and thirds, etc.), as the company only sprung for 20 whores. C'mon! If you're going to add this new benefit, then at least go all the way! Cheapskate company.
But at least the salesmen could tell how many of their fellow employees had been with each hoe. That's because "after each encounter the women were stamped on the lower arm in order to keep track of how often each woman was frequented."
There was also the matter of the men being able to tell the difference between the 20 ladies who were "available for service" to do "whatever [the men] liked" and the other ladies who were on hand as eye candy only. But the company apparently wasn't interested in doing the tired old name tag thing that you typically see at business events.
The solution? Color-coded wrist bands, of course! "The women wore red and yellow wrist bands. One lot were hostesses, and the others would fulfill your every wish."
And then there were the white wrist bands. Those were worn by the hottest harlots in the harem, who were reserved only for the very top salesmen in the company (plus the pesky company board members).
My reaction to all of this: An event like this would never fly in the States since it was so completely discriminatory. This thing was like a walking employment discrimination lawsuit. What about the company's lady salespeople? No gigolos for them? Please.
And let's not forget the gay dudes. You mean to tell me that out of a group of 100 salesmen, there weren't at least a few gay guys? And all 20 prostitutes were women. Just what in the holy hell were the gay guys supposed to do at this orgy, anyway? Twiddle their thumbs?
This Bossman Was One Brutal Slimeball (Allegedly)
This bossman was a real piece of work and then some (allegedly). Five barmaids in Virginia have written and submitted criminal complaints against their boss, alleging that he gave them a good beating (and a whole lot more), and that he did so over and over in recent months.
He's 54-year-old Henry Fitzsimmons, and he owns the Envy Bar and Grill in Virginia Beach. His barmaids say that the beatings included repeated spankings and that their sleazebucket bossman (allegedly) would often come after them with a damn riding crop! (Apparently he didn't have any buggy whips on hand, and had to settle for the riding crop as a makeshift replacement).
And Fitzsimmons allegedly gave a whole new meaning to the phrase, "when I get done with you, you won't sit down for a week." As one barmaid said, "the welts and bruises were so severe that she sometimes couldn't sit down."
But none of that was even the worst of it! At least one of the barmaids is alleging sexual assault by "penetration with an inanimate object." There's also an allegation that the slimejob Fitzsimmons (allegedly) threatened the safety of one barmaid's family "if she didn't commit sexual acts."
Now this scumwad (allegedly) may have to practice with his riding crop in a different kind of joint having neither horses nor barmaids, as he's facing eleven felony counts for sexual battery, assault and battery, and abduction.
But might this creep have some sort of half-ass defense to the charges? Of course! The linked story indicates that the barmaids may have signed some sort of ridiculous employment agreement in which they agreed to "be spanked if certain rules are broken."
If so, and if Fitzsimmons tries to use that as a defense, I think that would be a brand new one in the annals of criminal justice history: Consent to have a felony committed upon your person. While we're at it, why don't we go ahead and add Kill Clauses to every employment contract in the country: "I agree that the bossman can spank, rape or even kill me, but only insofar as I break some of his chickenshit rules."
Sorry, but I don't think that defense is going to play in Peoria, or even on the east coast, as the case may be. Maybe instead, Fitzsimmons can sue the barmaids for breach of contract for "breaking the rules," not to mention ratting him out on the alleged spankings. He's got to get his girls in line, after all, and that riding crop just ain't cutting the mustard anymore.
Posts
