Saturday, May 21, 2011

Stick a Sword in 'Em -- They're Done! As the Economy in Obama's America Recedes Towards the Middle Ages, People Embrace the Theme By Wielding Swords!







Oh, for the Old Days, when scumjob creeps would simply yank out a knife or a gun when they wanted to put a hole in somebody. But those were simpler times. Before the recession. Before Obama. (And W). [Wink to Star Wars]. Now -- in a country gone mad -- they're pulling out damn Samurai swords!



"Louisville Woman Pulls Sword at Pizza Hut"

That's a "woman"? Pictured above left is the mugshot of 29-year-old Wynika Mason. And I don't know if the joint was out of anchovies or what, but cops say something set Mason off to arguing with employees at a Louisville Pizza Hut on Thursday.

But it was reportedly just a routine argument, as arguments go, until Mason allegedly "raised the sakes considerably" by trying to pull a sword. That'll do it! Employees say that Mason "began to raise it out of the sheath" when her brother snatched the big blade and scurried off towards their car.

[Good to know, BTW, that Mason practiced proper sword safety (allegedly) by having the weapon properly sheathed out in public.]

About that time, cops got the call that Mason was "causing trouble" (one way of putting it) down at the Pizza Hut. When they arrived, Mason reportedly admitted owning the sword, telling cops that it was out in her car.

Now Mason may have to take her pizza and sword-play to the local Chill Factory, as she faces charges of disorderly conduct and menacing. I wonder if she'll try to avoid can time by claiming that she just wanted to use the sword to slice up her Meat Lovers' Pie?

The Double-Edged Sword of Fence-Play: Watch Out You Don't Get Killed

Also from last week, cops in Michigan responded to a 911 call saying that a man was administering a good beatin' to a woman in an apartment complex parking lot -- although apparently, no swords were at play at that particular juncture.

When cops showed up, they say 49-year-old Leon Roy Jones ran from the parking lot to this apartment. And this guy really didn't care too much for the cops crashing his little beatdown party uninvited (allegedly). Cops say Jones quickly came out of the apartment wielding a "16-inch double-edge sword"!

And the weapon reportedly wasn't just for show. Cops say Jones came at them with the sword and ignored their warnings to stop. "This was definitely a lethal situation," said one cop -- literally. One of the cops then shot and killed Jones, with an eyewitness backing up the cops' account. The shooting's currently under investigation.

This Was No Way to Honor Thy Father

It doesn't get much more cowardly than this: A 24-year-old man in New York named Zachary Gibian has been sentence to 25 years in the freezer after he admitted slicing up his stepfather to death with a samurai sword while the old man (a retired cop) was sleeping.

This slimeball Gibian freely admits that he nearly beheaded Stepdaddy during the couch attack, although he previously tried to blame his mama for the crime -- the sleazejacket. He also at one point claimed the old man sexually abused him, but he later recanted that one too. How he was only charged with manslaughter and only sentenced to 25 years is beyond me.

Regardless, all of these stories have only served to remind me that my skills as a swordsman have significantly diminished since my college days. I'm rusty and need to sweep the dust off my sword and sheath down in the basement -- lest I wish to become mincemeat at some parking lot or pizza parlor in Obama's Crazy America.

Posted by The Independent Rage